Although the blind date was introduced by others, but because they feel good about each other, the marriage has also successfully embarked on the track of success. Iegata Keisuke is 33 years old, and Sakura Ayuko is 26 years old, both of them are adults. The wedding was scheduled to be held on an auspicious day in June, and Ayuko was indeed the bride who got married in June. Iakata works in a famous restaurant in the city center.There he served as the section chief of the business planning department.Ayuko is not very clear about the specific content of her husband's work, but only heard that he is engaged in the organization of various events held by restaurants, as well as the planning and development of innovative products.Iakata does work in a first-class hotel, and I have a strong body that I have been training in the swimming club since I was a student, and I have a slightly dark complexion but a very cool appearance.It is also true that Ayuko is deeply attracted by Kagata's appearance.

"Fortunately, you have been waiting all this time, and you finally met the best partner." Friends said this with some mockery. Of course, Ayuko also fell in love before the age of 26.However, she has never met anyone who can become a marriage partner. Although those who have dated have an interesting side as romantic partners, Ayuko always feels a little uneasy at the thought that they will become lifelong partners.Rather than being uneasy as a husband, Ayuko felt that they all seemed to lack a sense of trust that made her feel at ease. "Marriage is a gamble. You can't meet a perfect partner at the beginning. Even if you have some distrust towards the other party, close your eyes and make up your mind. When it's over, you will fall into the abyss of marriage. I didn't see it through at the beginning That's why he fell into the abyss of marriage, and my gamble failed."

Haruko Aoki, who was married in the same grade in high school, warned Ayuko.As Haruko said, there are many elements of gambling in marriage.Isn't the so-called marriage the meeting of imperfect men and women, making up for each other's imperfections, and thus building a new family?Therefore, it is wrong to try to pursue perfection from the beginning. But Ayuko is not someone who wants to pursue perfection.Ayuko feels that the men she has met all the time lack a kind of attractive power, which is dangerous to a great extent but can make her deeply fascinated.They have also formed this kind of power to a certain extent. Although the power that Ayuko feels is small, it is really not dangerous.Following those men, Ayuko would not feel at a loss like an ignorant child who doesn't know where she will be taken.From them, Ayuko can see the future of these people who work in well-known companies and live in clean company residences. They will slowly wait to be the head of the department at a certain age, and become the head of the class at a certain age. That's it. until retirement.

The element of gambling that Haruko mentioned was very little in these men.As husbands, the safety factor of these people should be quite high.However, Ayuko believes that life is not only maintained by safety factors. The mother said: "You are young to say that, it is too much. Isn't it good to be safe and reliable? A woman's happiness lies in being safe and reliable. I have worked so hard all my life because I married your father. I don't want you Work as hard as I do." Catfish's father is a poet, but he is a poet who can't sell his poems.Even for a well-known poet, it is very difficult to make a living by writing poetry, not to mention that no one will buy the poems of his unknown father.Because my father didn't have a fixed job, he almost published his poetry collection at his own expense for self-entertainment, which made not only my mother, but also everyone in the family very hard.

Father is the kind of person who lives by savoring his dreams, like a tapir.He has no sense of responsibility as the head of the family. Maybe mother really shouldn't marry someone like father.When it comes to danger, the father is a dangerous aggregate. But the mother who married her father must have felt a certain charm in the danger of her father, right?Even Ayuko was drawn to something about her father's way of life.Although I don't quite understand the poems written by my father, I feel that there are some otherworldly things in them.At least these poems can not be created in the boring life of not knowing when to become the head of the department, when to become the head of the department, and when to retire at a certain age.

When meeting for the first time, Ayuko smelled something similar to her father in Iakata.Although Iakata is not a poet, Ayuko feels the same danger as her father, but Ayuko can't see the true face of the danger in Kagata, so it's like riding a train that doesn't know where it will go. The child is looking forward to it very much.Whether the destination is a flower field full of flowers, a barren wilderness, or a frozen permafrost, these are unpredictable.But Ayuko can be sure that Kagata wants to get rid of the shackles of her current job and set off for an unknown place.Ayuko is attracted by this uncertainty and bets on her marriage.Ayuko trusts Iagata, and wants to try with him the dangers he brings.

Catfish's parents are in favor of the marriage with Jiaxing.The father tried his best to promote their marriage just because he was impressed by Kagata's knowledge of his poems, while the mother was very satisfied with Kagata's appearance and working place.The wedding took place soon after a month of blind date.People around Ayuko are surprised at Ayuko getting married so quickly.But everyone was full of praise after seeing the family shape.Ayuko herself was also very happy.She thought that what she met was the best partner worthy of meeting. It seems that Iakata is also very satisfied with Ayuko.Not only did the two hit it off at the blind date.And their sex in the dormitory is also quite tacit.The two were so surprised by this incident that they even thought that maybe they were one with each other.Igata seems to have noticed that Ayuko is not a virgin.But this is the marriage of a 33-year-old man and a 26-year-old woman, and it would be weird if nothing had happened in the past.Perhaps it is the foundation of the past that will have a tacit understanding today.It seems that Jiaxing doesn't want to pursue Ayuko's past at all.It seemed that he didn't deliberately avoid pursuing this matter, but he didn't care much about what happened in the past.

If they cared too much about the past, their marriage would not have taken place. "Even if we have the same temperament, we may not have such a tacit understanding physically, but you and I have such a tacit understanding as if we have been together before." "I feel the same way. It surprises me. For example, maybe it doesn't fit, you fit me like a custom dress." "That's the only way in the world." "I'm really glad to have met you." "Me too. The first half of my life before I met you was for meeting you." "Me too, we will never be separated in our lives."

They kept repeating such words, hugging and kissing unscrupulously and intimately in the new house where there were only two of them. During the period of living together after becoming a husband and wife, Ayuko has forgotten the danger she felt before marriage.Perhaps in this routine of married life, that danger has been removed.Jiaxing graduated from a prestigious private university and is an elite working in a first-class restaurant, earning much higher income than ordinary people.If there are no twists and turns or accidents, the future of Jiaxing will be smooth sailing.There was no sign of danger at all.Family shape and father are not the same kind of person.Having said that, what is the dangerous smell that makes Ayuko feel?After getting married, Ayuko has been puzzled by this matter.There is nothing adventurous about Kagata.Before marriage, Ayuko despised those who are content with living a life with a high safety factor, but now Ayuko is very satisfied with the life she once hated.Ayuko could only smile wryly at her own change.

After all, a woman will change because of her husband!Catfish had to have such recognition.Although at that time Ayuko chose the latter as a passenger between the train whose destination was determined and the unknown train where she would be taken, but now she is satisfied with the safe and accurate track currently running.This is of course due to being pulled by a locomotive like Kagata. Not long after marriage, Ayuko told her husband about her change in mentality. "Did you think I was dangerous before getting married?" "Yes. But now I don't feel it anymore, and I think it's pretty good." Ayuko answered honestly.

"Maybe it's because of my marriage to you." "You mean that because you are married to me, you are no longer dangerous?" "Exactly. My mindset has changed since I got married." "How has it changed?" "Before I married you, I thought about quitting my job. But after I got married, I changed my mind and wanted to continue working in the restaurant." "Want to resign?" "Originally, I wanted to be a lawyer, so I have been studying law while doing my current job. However, an incident happened three years ago, and I gave up the idea of ​​​​being a lawyer. Because of this I have been unhappy, and after I married you, I was finally able to completely forget about it." "You want to be a lawyer?" Ayuko was surprised to hear her husband say that.Because Kagata did not graduate from the Faculty of Law, and Ayuko did not find any books related to law in his collection.This is the first time she heard Kagata say that she once had the ambition to be a lawyer. "It was only after I went to work in a restaurant that I felt the need to learn legal knowledge. The restaurant is a place where fish and dragons are mixed. There are all kinds of people gathered there, and their races, nationalities, beliefs, religions, occupations, etc. are all different, and things will happen. All kinds of unforeseen problems. If you don’t have legal knowledge, you will be helpless. That’s why I became interested in law, and it’s also because of this that I want to become a lawyer. I have challenged the bar exam several times.” "Then why did you give up halfway?" Jiaxing is articulate and has strong logical thinking ability. If he really becomes a lawyer, he should be a very good lawyer. "There just happened to be an opportunity." Jiaxing was a little vague, and he didn't seem to want to talk about that opportunity.The so-called opportunity should be the beginning of something, but Iegata seems to have given up his dream of entering the legal profession because of that opportunity.Ayuko didn't want to ask more questions. However, Ayuko felt the danger contained in Jiaxing from her husband's ambition to be a lawyer.When I met Ayuko for the first time before getting married, Iakata hadn't given up on his ambition to be a lawyer. Could it be that he was shaken because he sensed the danger she felt from Ayuko's eyes?Jiaxing said that after marrying Ayuko, he gave up his ambition to be a lawyer, and at the same time, the danger in him disappeared. For the time being, Ayuko reserved her questioning about the opportunity for Kagata to give up her dream of being a lawyer. She asked another question worriedly: "Why did you completely give up your dream of being a lawyer after you married me?" "Because I know very well that I'm not fit to be a lawyer." "It doesn't matter to me whether you work in a restaurant or as a lawyer. Either way, you're my husband and that's never going to change." "I'm so glad you said that. As a lawyer, like the police and firefighters, you must put others first before your own family members. Even if you want to save your own family members, you must put your family members last. One. And I really can't do that kind of thing, if you and others are in a dangerous situation at the same time, I will save you first. So I am not suitable to be a lawyer." "Does that mean you value me more than anyone else?" "Yes." "I'm so happy." The husband is going to save his wife even if he violates professional ethics, so of course the wife is very happy.As a man, it is a kind of timidity, and as a staff member, you lose your sense of honor in your profession.But Iagata still said that he can discard those for his wife.If it was before marriage, Ayuko would have despised this kind of man, but now Ayuko is very happy because of her husband's words, and feels happy that she can meet such a husband.After understanding this, Ayuko was also very surprised, and she turned into a self-centered person. At the same time of getting married, Ayuko also quit the job she had been doing.She worked in the new product development room of a toy company. Children's preferences reflect, and sometimes transcend, the times.What kind of games do children like, what kind of toys do they focus on, and use these as reference points to develop best-selling products. This kind of work is quite valuable.However, Ayuko felt very tired. In the beginning, they were mostly simple toys made of natural materials such as physalis, straw whistle, grass leaf flute, millet shell crafts, bamboo horses, and acorn tops. Later, they developed into plastic or metal products. Ingenious mechanical toys to manipulate, and the toy wars are intensifying.And the function of the toy has also changed from stimulating children's dreams to giving a stronger stimulating effect.The more delicate and expensive the toy is, the more Ayuko feels that the toy has lost its essence.Going on like this is not to outline dreams for children, but to give children more sensory stimulation.The goal of this kind of toy development work is illusory, so Ayuko used marriage as an excuse to quit the job she had been working since she graduated from college. The boss highly valued Ayuko's talent.All along, catfish has developed many best-selling products. "If you really want to resign, I can't keep you. When you want to come back to work, you are always welcome." "If I continue to do this, I feel that I am not nurturing children's dreams, but killing their dreams." Ayuko replied. I finally resigned like this. Although Ayuko would be a little bit reluctant to part with her, children nowadays don’t pay attention to the rosary beads of Lycoris or the crow of the pine cone, and they don’t care about the stimulating toys that adults constantly bombard Seeing such children, Ayuko couldn't get rid of the sense of guilt that it was because of herself that they became like this. "Don't bother others. Anyway, the era without pollution is good. We can't go back to the era without electricity and cars, and the children are the same. They are progressing with the times." Colleagues in the company So comfort Ayuko. "Let's take a break and have another child, and then I can research toys that my child likes." Ayuko plans to develop new toys for her children. But after getting married, these things were completely forgotten by Ayuko.Of course, this is because Ayuko really wants to have no children and live a happy life with her husband.In the water-tight intimacy of the two, there is no gap that a child can insert.At this point, Ayuko also betrayed the original idea. "Mr. Okamoto finally passed the judicial examination." Haruko Aoki, who came to play in the new house, told Ayuko. "Mr. Okamoto... Who are you talking about?" Ayuko suddenly couldn't remember who Haruko was talking about. "What, Ayuko, have you forgotten? I always thought you would definitely date Okamoto-san." Haruko laughed jokingly. "Oh, you're talking about Mr. Okamoto." Haruko finally remembered.He was the senior of the tennis club in high school, and also the object of Ayuko's crush.Although it is Ayuko's unrequited love, it can also be said to be the object of her first love.Okamoto wanted to become a lawyer, so he entered the university's Faculty of Law.He was a star in high school. As the main player of the tennis club, he participated in the National High School Comprehensive Sports Conference and achieved excellent results. After that, Ayuko also heard about Okamoto several times at the class reunion.I heard that he entered a law firm in Tokyo after graduating from university and has been working hard to become a lawyer.Ayuko thought: Okamoto will eventually pass the judicial examination and become an excellent lawyer.Okamoto was her first love object in her youthful youth, and at that time it seemed to be as light and ethereal as a flowing cloud.As she grows older, Ayuko's love affair is gradually forgotten. Although Haruko suddenly mentions his name now, she can't immediately associate this name with the person she first fell in love with back then. "Mr. Okamoto finally passed the judicial examination, that's great." Ayuko casually echoed Haruko, but at the same time suddenly thought of her husband who also had the same ambition to be a lawyer but gave up halfway.If the husband continues to study law, he may pass the bar exam at the same time as Okamoto.But if her husband hadn't given up his ambition to become a lawyer, he might not have married Ayuko.In any case, when Ayuko heard that her first love in high school had realized her dream for many years, she still had a special feeling. Marriage is also a process of assimilation of the couple's personalities.While living together under the same roof, strange men and women have gradually become closer life partners than their parents and brothers.After experiencing the most personal channel of human beings - sex, they assimilated from strangers who had nothing to do with each other to become the closest people.Not only are they familiar with each other physically, but their beliefs, outlook on life, and even values ​​will be assimilated by each other. Although there are also wives who advocate women's self-reliance and refuse to assimilate with their husbands, as time goes by, this kind of assimilation is unconsciously subtle. It's not that one party is being drawn by the other, but that the two have formed a sense of unity as if they had become a whole without realizing it.This doesn't have to be a feeling for couples who have a good relationship.It is not because they are attracted to each other, but men and women who get married after only meeting each other once, in the lazy married life they experience, they often assimilate without knowing when. It may be because these couples have not carried out mutual self-reliance as the goal. resistance, so they were assimilated earlier. However, this mostly does not happen to newlyweds.Men and women who were living in different environments until yesterday suddenly start living together under the same roof one day, and it feels strange and confusing.Newlyweds who haven't dated for a long time before marriage can't have the real feeling that they are already husband and wife.Even though they are already living a married life, they are constantly afraid that there will always be strangers between each other, and they both feel apprehensive and shy.We encounter the unknown every day.The husband's favorite food, clothing preferences, hobbies, circle of friends, relatives and friends, etc., everything is unknown and new exploration.In this way, while groping, the field of husband and wife was expanded little by little. However, after marriage, Cathy feels that in her husband's unknown territory, there is a wall that she must not cross.The so-called assimilation of personality between husband and wife is also a grasp of the trajectory of life all the time.This is a matter of course after marriage, but it has to be grasped back before marriage.Although there is no question about the past, each other's past will unknowingly merge into the known field between husband and wife.Even if you want to hide it, you will know it naturally.There are secrets between husband and wife, and it doesn't necessarily need to be imprisoned layer by layer with walls, but just because they don't want the other party to know.Maybe it was out of good intentions that I didn't want the other party to know, and I didn't show the previous wounds to the other party, because I wanted the husband and wife to live in harmony.But keeping the secret like this will hinder the assimilation of the couple's personalities.That's because one party cannot let the other party feel the existence of the wall in his heart. Ayuko can clearly feel the existence of the wall from Kagata.Whether it's a conversation between husband and wife, going out together, or even hugging intimately in the bedroom, Ayuko will suddenly feel the existence of that wall.It seems that Jiaxing is also very guilty of the wall in his heart. Because of guilt, he wants to hide it.Because it was hidden, the wall became more and more obvious. Cathy seems to feel that the opportunity for her husband to give up his ambition as a lawyer is hidden in the wall.It seems that Iakata still regrets telling Ayuko that he had aspired to be a lawyer.If Ayuko hadn't heard this, maybe she wouldn't have noticed the existence of the wall in Jiaxing's heart. Something must have happened, because of this incident, Iagata gave up his ambition of being a lawyer and decided to continue working in the restaurant. For Ayuko, it doesn't matter whether her husband is a hotel worker or a lawyer, as long as he is her husband. Ayuko doesn't understand why Jiaxing feels ashamed of giving up the opportunity of being a lawyer, and he has to erect a wall in his heart against his wife, rejecting the assimilation in the married life.Perhaps it was because the life of husband and wife was so short, almost unfinished, that he could not tear down that wall just yet.Perhaps the passage of time will destroy all walls, no matter how strong.Caizi warned herself not to tear down her husband's wall in a hurry.