Home Categories Biographical memories the first half of my life

Chapter 56 Six small families change

It took me many years to understand the meaning of the director's words.At that time, I just thought that since he said "need to reform", then there was no danger in front of me. But I never expected that when I thought the danger was gone, the danger would come. One day, the leg of my glasses fell off, and I asked the watchman to send it to Da Li for repair on my behalf.Da Li is a very clever person. He often repairs small gadgets for people, such as glasses, clocks, fountain pens, etc., and they can be as good as new in his hands.Whenever there is something wrong with my glasses, he always fixes it for me seriously.Unexpectedly, his attitude changed this time.

The building of our management office has a characteristic that the sounds upstairs and downstairs can hear each other.Not long after the watchman took my glasses and went downstairs, I heard Da Li muttering.Although the voice is not clear, it can be heard that he is unhappy.After a while, the watchman brought back the glasses and said to me helplessly, "Did you think of a way by yourself? He said there was no way to fix it." When I heard Da Li's murmur, I was full of anger, thinking that he dared to put on airs to me, it was too disgusting.I want to see if he dares to take it down.I said to the watchman: "I will not look for him. He was the one who repaired it last time. Let Mr. Jiang talk to him." .Everyone in our room said he was honest.He was really honest, and went downstairs again after listening to my words.

Da Li didn't push it this time and fixed it for me.But when I took it back, I found that the repair was very sloppy. I just tied it with a thread, and even the original screws were gone. I thought about it carefully, and finally realized that Da Li had changed, and it didn't start from today.I remembered a day not long ago, because I hadn’t seen Da Li for a few days, I wanted to ask him what he was up to during a walk, so I asked Xiao Rui to look for him, but Xiao Rui came back and said, “Da Li said he was busy and didn’t have time.” Just now, from the murmur of his refusal to fix his glasses, I vaguely heard this sentence: "I can't wait on him all the time, I don't have time!"

Not long after the repair of glasses, it was the New Year of 1952.The solicitor asked us to organize a New Year's party and sing some small programs by ourselves for entertainment.The stage is the open space in front of the post.On the program "Three Allegro", I found another ominous sign. This is written and performed by Xiaoxiu Xiaogu and Da Li.In their room, everyone except Xiao Rui came on stage.The three of them used the form of question and answer to count the funny stories that happened among the prisoners, and satirized the unpopular behavior of some prisoners.For example, Zhang Huanxiang, the former Minister of Justice of the Puppet Manchukuo known as the big chin, he loves to lose his temper with others, and makes the neighbors uneasy when he quarrels. When he eats, he often sprinkles rice grains on the ground. More.Another example is that when some guards pass by, they desperately raise their voices to read. In fact, they are not reading for themselves, but for the guards to read.While reading the Allegro, they imitated the posture of the person being ridiculed, which caused bursts of laughter.As soon as I heard it, I knew it was mainly made up by Xiao Gu.At first I also thought it was funny, but after hearing it, I couldn't laugh anymore.They satirized some superstitious people.They said that this kind of person did not understand that fortune-telling and praying to God did not save him in the past, and even secretly chanted mantras and prayed to God after entering the management office.The target of the allegro's irony obviously included me, because I hadn't completely stopped reciting mantras and praying to God at this time.Although this allegro is not unreasonable, how can I be satirized?Yes, in the past I was indeed deceived by hexagrams, sutras, scriptures, and mantras. Now that we are in prison, we gradually understand the truth that it is better to ask God than to ask people, but why bother to insinuate me in public?This is simply "no up, no down"!

The problem doesn't stop there.Then, they ridiculed a kind of person. This kind of person went to prison and understood a lot of truths. The government treats him as a human being, "but he still wants to be a slave to others" and "serve others obediently". As a result, we cannot help "others" reform, but can only "help others maintain their mastery and resist reform."As soon as I heard it, I immediately understood who the person being satirized was and who this "other" was.At the same time, I also understood the reason why Xiaorui did not participate in this show.I felt sorry for Xiaorui in my heart, and I was even more worried that Xiaorui would not be able to survive.

In fact, like everyone else, Xiaorui has undergone some changes.Recently, Da Li, Xiao Xiu, and Xiao Gu didn't show up in the yard, and Xiao Rui also reduced the number of appearances. My dirty clothes gradually accumulated, and I couldn't send them out for many days. After the party, Xiao Rui simply didn't come to take my clothes to wash.Then, another big thing happened. It was my duty that day, and I squatted beside the railing waiting to pick up the food.It was Xiao Rui who delivered the food.After handing over all the meals, he finally took out a piece of paper folded into small pieces and put it in my hand.I was stunned for a moment, and hurriedly hid it quietly, then turned around to deliver the meal, trying my best to remain calm.After the meal, I pretended to go to the toilet, and secretly opened the note on the toilet behind the low wall in the corner of the room.I saw it said:

A burst of anger suddenly rose in my chest.But after a short time, this anger was extinguished by a cold air.I see the omens of betrayal. The note was thrown into the toilet and was flushed away, but the thoughts brought by the note could not be removed.I silently recalled the past and present of these young people, and felt that their changes were incredible.Needless to say Xiaoxiu, how did the rest change? Da Li, his father used to be an errand in the Summer Palace and served the Empress Dowager. Because of this relationship, when the eunuchs were eliminated in the palace, he was able to enter the palace as an errand. He was only fourteen years old that year.Later, I went to Tianjin with me, and together with several other boy servants, I studied under the Chinese language teacher I invited.He is officially my squire, and is one of my most reliable servants.When I left Dalizigou, I picked him to follow.In the Soviet Union, he once shook his fist because a Japanese refused to give way, but he was always submissive to me, listening to my reprimand with his head bowed.He destroyed jewelry for me, and he did it meticulously.For such a man, I really can't imagine any reason for his change.This is the fact now, in his eyes, there is no "above" and "below".

Xiaogu is the son of Prince Gong Puwei. After Puwei passed away, I gave him a title as the emperor of the Qing Dynasty, and trained him as the backbone of the future "ZTE". I wrote a poem about the will to show that I will not forget it.Under my education, he believed in Buddhism. He was so fascinated that he participated in the "Bone Zen" in front of the skull all day long, and he did not forget to express his loyalty when he first arrived in Harbin.I didn't expect such a person to make up such an allegro to satirize me. Obviously, his loyalty does not exist. The most incredible thing is Xiaorui's change.If it is said that Da Li is "not of my race, his heart must be different", Xiao Xiu is because of "revenge", and Xiao Gu has seen through the deception of "skeletal bones", then what is Xiao Rui doing?

Xiaorui is a descendant of Prince Ting of the Qing Dynasty, and his family has declined since his grandfather Zai Lian, uncle Zai Yi and Zai Lan were listed as "the ministers who caused disasters".When he was nineteen years old, I called him to Changchun to study with other poor "children of the clan".Among the group of young people called "inner court students", he was regarded by me as the most obedient and honest one.I think he is less talented and has less heart, but it is better to serve me than to have more heart.In the Soviet Union, he showed loyalty for five years.I remember that I tested him once, and I said to him: "If you are really loyal to the emperor, you should speak out what is on your mind. Do you have any disrespectful thoughts?" He immediately blushed and said repeatedly. "Guilty and guilty", after I questioned him, this honest man said something that had disturbed him for a long time.It turned out that once I asked several nephews to kneel together for an hour because of a dissatisfying matter. At that time, he cried out in his heart, complaining that I was not good at serving.He told the secret, sweating and terrified.If I ordered him to beat himself up right now, he would be happy to do so.I just nodded and said: "You just need to be convicted, let me forgive you this time!" He hurriedly kowtowed to thank him, as happy as returning to heaven from hell.When I was about to return from the Soviet Union, I decided that my life was in danger. I discussed with my brother-in-law and younger brothers the issue of "establishing an heir" and decided to make Xiaorui my heir.Not to mention his performance after hearing the decision.If, in the Soviet Union, I sometimes asked others to do something, then after returning to China, others would not have to intervene, because everything around me was arranged by him.Such a person taught me a lesson today, calling me "guilty"!

These incredible changes, in fact, as long as you think about it, you can see some clues.On the day of the New Year's party, Xiao Gu had an allegro poem, which reflected the changes in their thoughts.It probably means that from his youth to the Puppet Manchukuo, he listened to anti-propaganda in the "inner court" all day long and was educated in slavery. Over time, he believed that the Japanese were the most powerful in the world, and the Chinese people were born incompetent and should be manipulated , and people are born to be graded and so on.After they returned to China, they realized that they had been deceived in the past.On the first day back to China, they found that the train driver was Chinese at Suifenhe Station, which was beyond their expectations.After that, almost every day I found something unexpected.What surprised them most was the attitude of the personnel on the side and the victory of the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea. ...

At that time, Xiao Gu's libretto was just a general opening remark, and I didn't pay attention to it.But isn't that why they "betrayed" me?Didn't they find out they were cheated by me?But none of this was what I could understand at the time.What I don't understand the most is that after they left me, when they came into contact with the personnel of the institute—the director, cadres, guards, cooks, doctors, and nurses, they all strongly felt that their status was different from before: here, Although he is a prisoner, he is a person with personality, and although he was regarded as a nobleman in the past, a person who was regarded as "under one man and above ten thousand people", in fact he was an out-and-out slave.The more they think about it, the more they feel that their youth has been disgraceful.When we returned to China, when the train stopped at Shenyang Station, we were about to get off the train. This female worker was injured for protecting the property of the motherland. On the station, she was warmly welcomed by people from all walks of life.They heard the story of the young female worker told by the police soldiers on the bus, and they knew for the first time that there were such different young people living in the world.Later, they heard the heroic deeds of the volunteer army and the heroic deeds in the construction of the motherland, which opened their horizons.After constant comparisons, they couldn't help thinking about many questions: Why didn't they know there were such people in the world before?Why are young people living like that, but I only know how to meditate and kowtow?Why do other people live with such dignity and honor, while I am being beaten and scolded unreasonably and still have to confess my guilt?Why are people so capable, but I don't understand anything? ... Thinking about it this way, they change.They began to study seriously and began to tell everything about the past to the institute. I wiped out the note, sat against the wall, and thought worryingly: The Communist Party is really powerful, I don’t know what trick they used to make them like this.The only comfort I feel is that my brother-in-law and younger brothers are fine, but this comfort is not worth my worry: Will Xiaorui report me to the police? When I thought of reporting, I was not only angry and worried, but also felt a dilemma.The things I hid in the bottom of the suitcase are all carefully selected jewelry of platinum, gold, diamonds, pearls, etc., a total of 468 pieces.I regard it as my reliance for the rest of my life. Without it, even if I were released, I would not be able to live. The words "self-reliance" do not exist in my mind at all.Hand over the jewels?I have been hiding it for so long, and then I suddenly brought it out, which proves that I was all a liar in the past.Continue to hide it?Except for Xiao Rui, everyone else knows this secret.Even if Xiao Rui doesn't say anything, I'm even less sure if others say it or not.It would be even worse if it was exposed by others! "Take the initiative to confess, and you can deal with it leniently." This sentence emerged in my heart, and then gradually disappeared. At that time, it seemed to me that the three words "communist party" and "lenient" could not be reconciled.Even though the treatment I received after entering the management office was far beyond my expectations, and even though I had repeatedly read news of lenient handling of "five evils" cases in the newspapers, I still couldn't believe it.Not long after the "Three Antis" and "Five Antis" movements started, some heinous embezzlers were sentenced to death. Then, the newspapers exposed many capitalists stealing state assets, stealing economic intelligence, smuggling, bribery, and evading national taxes, etc. crimes, I could not help comparing these cases with mine.I also have my own ideas about the words "the culprit must be dealt with, the threat is ignored, and the meritorious service is rewarded".I don't think that even if those lenient cases were all true, they wouldn't apply to me because I'm the "culprit" and sort of obligatory. "Leniency for confession"? ——I smiled wryly.In my imagination, the director of the management office would immediately fly into a rage when he heard that I had been deceived, punished me harshly, and asked me for other deceitful acts.This is how I dealt with those who were under my authority. I can't confess——I said to myself, Xiaorui and the others are not really "unfeeling" to the point of reporting me.I dragged this thing down. A week later, it was Xiaorui's turn to deliver meals to us.I secretly noticed that his expression was very serious, and he didn't even look at me.Not only that, but he stared hard at my suitcase for a while. No,—I muttered to myself, is he going to do something? Less than two hours later, when we had just started studying, Xiaorui came again in a hurry.He paused outside our room, then hurried away.I could see clearly that his eyes were searching the suitcase just now. I concluded that he must have been to the director just now.I can't hold my breath anymore. "Rather than being exposed, it's better to take the initiative to confess." I said to myself. I grabbed the hand of the group leader Pharaoh, and hurriedly said: "I have something to confess to the government. I'll tell you right now..."
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