Chapter 51 I only think of death

The Soviet train escorting the puppet Manchukuo war criminals arrived at Suifenhe Station on the Sino-Soviet border on July 31, 1950.Captain Asnis, who was in charge of the escort, told me that the handover to the Chinese government cannot be done until tomorrow morning.He advised me to sleep peacefully. When boarding from Khabarovsk, I was separated from my family and put in the compartments of Soviet officers.They prepared me beer, candy, and said a lot of funny things along the way.Still, I feel like they're sending me to die.I believe that as soon as I set foot on Chinese soil, I will die.

On the opposite sleeper, Captain Asnis breathed evenly.With my eyes open, I was disturbed by the fear of death and could not sleep.I sat up and silently recited the "Prajna Paramita Heart Sutra" several times. Just as I was about to lie down, there was the sound of footsteps getting closer and closer on the platform, as if a group of soldiers was coming.I leaned closer to the car window and looked out, but I couldn't see anyone.The sound of leather boots faded away, leaving only the ominous flickering of distant lights.Sighing, I shrank back to the corner of the berth and stared at the empty wine glass on the window table.I remembered a few words Asnis said while drinking: "You will see your motherland at dawn, and returning to your motherland is always a matter of celebration. Don't worry, the Communist Party's regime is the most civilized in the world, and China's The party and the people are the most powerful."

"Cheat!" I cast a vicious glance at Asnis who was lying on the opposite berth, he was already snoring. "Your words, your wine, your sweets, are all lies! My life is like the dew outside the window, which disappears as soon as the sun comes out! You sleep soundly!" In my mind at that time, there were only ancestors but no motherland, and the Communist Party could only be associated with "scourges and beasts", and it was by no means a civilization.I think that although the Soviet Union is also a communist country, it did not treat me inhumanely, but the Soviet Union is one of the "allies" and must be bound by international agreements and cannot act recklessly.As for China, the situation is different.The Communist Party of China defeated Chiang Kai-shek and does not recognize any "orthodoxy". Naturally, it can do whatever it wants with me and has no scruples.The propaganda I heard in Beijing, Tianjin, and Changchun for decades, the so-called "Communist Party" is just the embodiment of words such as "cruel" and "vicious", and they hate me a hundred times more than Chiang Kai-shek.I am in the hands of this kind of person, is there any way to survive? The idea that "a good death is worse than a good life" has dominated me for more than ten years. Now I think that "living" is certainly a fantasy, and "a good death" is also a luxury.

I passed the night in all sorts of horrific scenarios.When Lieutenant Asnis asked me to go with him to meet the representatives of the Chinese government after dawn, I only thought about one thing: would I have the courage to shout "Long live Emperor Taizu Gao" when I was dying? Dizzy, I followed Asnis into a wing.There are two Chinese people sitting here, one is wearing a Chinese tunic suit, the other is wearing a grass-green military uniform with no rank, and the seven characters "Chinese People's Liberation Army" are written on the chest symbol.The two of them stood up and said a few words to Captain A. Among them, the one in the Chinese tunic turned around and looked at me, and then said:

"I have received you under the order of Premier Zhou Enlai. Now, you have returned to the motherland.  …" I looked down and waited for the soldier to handcuff me.But the soldier looked at me and didn't move. "He knows I can't escape." More than an hour later, I thought so, and I walked out of the carriage with Asnis and got on the platform.There were two rows of soldiers with guns standing on the platform, one was the Soviet army, and the other was the Chinese army, all of whom wore such symbols.We walked through the middle and got on the opposite train.For a brief moment, I remembered that Chiang Kai-shek's eight million troops were wiped out by men wearing such symbols.In their eyes, I am probably not even as good as a bug, right?

When I entered the carriage, I saw the gang of Manchukuo and my family.They sat neatly, with no shackles or ropes on their bodies.I was shown to a seat not far from the end, and a soldier put my suitcase on the luggage rack.I sat down and wanted to see what the soldiers were doing outside the window, only then did I realize that the windows of the car had been covered with newspapers; looking at both ends of the carriage, there were soldiers with submachine guns standing at each end.My heart has cooled down.The atmosphere is so tense, why not send us to the execution ground?I looked at the prisoners nearby, everyone's face was ashen-like.

After a short while, an unarmed man, apparently an officer, came to the center of the carriage. "Okay, now you are back to your motherland." He looked around at the prisoners and said, "The Central People's Government has already made arrangements for you, so you can rest assured.... There are medical staff on board, and those who are sick can sign up for medical treatment... " What does it mean?The motherland, arrange, rest assured, see a doctor for the sick?Oh, I understand, this is to stabilize our hearts and avoid accidents on the road.Later, several soldiers brought a large basket of bowls and chopsticks, and distributed a pair to each of them, saying: "Keep it well for yourself, don't beat it, it's hard to replenish it on the way." I thought, it seems that this road leads to the execution ground. The road is not short, otherwise why would you say this.

Breakfast is pickles, salted eggs and rice porridge.This long-lost hometown flavor aroused everyone's appetite, and a big bucket of porridge was all gone in a short while.When the soldiers found out, they gave us the bucket they were about to eat.I know that there is no cooking equipment in the car, and they can only cook again at the next station, so I am completely puzzled by the behavior of the soldiers. In the end, I can only draw this conclusion: Anyway, they will not treat us. What kindness. After eating this breakfast, the sorrow on the faces of many people eased a little.Later, someone said that from the fact that the soldiers gave up their own breakfast, they felt that the escorts were well-bred and disciplined, at least they would not abuse us during the journey.I didn't have this kind of thought at the time. I thought on the contrary. I thought that the Communists hated me the most, and they might attack me halfway and take revenge.It's like being possessed, and when I think about it, it seems that things must happen, and it seems that I can't get out of this night.Some people doze off after breakfast, but I feel restless and feel that I must talk to someone.I want to confess to the escort as soon as possible that I don't deserve to die.

Sitting across from me was a very young public security soldier.This is the most ready-made conversation partner in front of me.I looked at him carefully, and finally found the topic from his badge.I will start with the words "Chinese People's Liberation Army". "You are the Chinese People's Liberation Army (this is the first time I use the word "you"), liberation, the meaning of these two words is very good. I am a person who recites the Buddha's name, and there is this meaning in the Buddhist scriptures. I, the Buddha, is merciful and vows to liberate everything Creatures..."

The young soldier stared wide-eyed and listened to my chatter in silence.When I said that I have never killed, I never even hit a fly, the expression on his face was unpredictable.I couldn't help being discouraged and couldn't go on.How did I know that this young soldier was also puzzled by me! My despair increased.I listened to the noise of the wheels on the rails, and felt that death was getting closer.I left my seat, walked aimlessly on the aisle, walked to the other end of the car, stood by the toilet door for a few seconds, then turned and walked back.Halfway through my walk, I heard my nephew Xiaoxiu talking to someone in a low voice, as if saying something like "monarchy" or "democracy".Suddenly I stopped and shouted to him:

"What are you talking about about the monarch at this time? Whoever says that democracy is not good, I will fight him!" People are completely dumbfounded.I continued to say hysterically: "What do you see me doing? Anyway, I was the only one who was shot, so you don't have to be afraid!" A soldier came to pull me back and persuaded me, "You should take a good rest." I grabbed the soldier like a ghost, and whispered to him: "That is my nephew, who has bad thoughts and opposes Democracy. There is also a man surnamed Zhao, who used to be a general and said a lot of bad things in the Soviet Union..." I returned to my seat and continued to babble.The soldier asked me to lie down. I had no choice but to lie down on the chair, close my eyes, and still couldn't stop talking.Later, probably because I didn't sleep well for several nights, I don't know when I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already the next morning.I remembered what happened yesterday, and I really wanted to know the fate of the two people I reported.I stood up and looked around, and saw that Xiaoxiu and Zhao were still sitting in their original seats. Xiaoxiu looked normal, but Zhao seemed a little strange.I approached him, and the more I looked at him, the more miserable he looked; he was looking at his hands, turning them over and over again.I concluded that he knew he was dying and was pitying himself.At this time, I actually remembered the story of the dead ghost avenging his grievances, for fear that he would settle accounts with me after his death.Thinking of this, I walked in front of him involuntarily, knelt down and kowtowed to him.After the ceremony of "removing disasters", I walked back and muttered "the mantra of rebirth". The train slowed down and finally stopped.I don't know who said in a low voice: "Changchun!" I jumped up like a spring, and rushed to the window covered with newspapers, wishing I could drill a hole to have a look.I couldn't see anything except the sound of many people singing not far away.I thought, this is where I die.This is where I used to be emperor, and the people are all here, waiting for my trial.When I was in the Soviet Union, I had seen descriptions of fighting bullies in "Truth", and I knew the procedure of public trials.At this time, two soldiers came from the car door, which gave me a false alarm.It turned out that they were here to deliver breakfast porridge.At the same time, the train started again. The train arrived in Shenyang.I think this time I won't go again, I must have died in the place where my ancestors originated.Not long after the car stopped, a strange person came into the carriage. He held a note and announced in public: "The weather is too hot. The older ones can come with me to have a rest now." Then he read the list.I was surprised to hear that not only me but also my nephew Xiaoxiu were included in the list.I am forty-four years old this year. If I can barely be considered old, how does Xiaoxiu, who is in her thirties, count?I concluded that this must be a hoax.I am the emperor, the others are ministers, and Xiaoxiu told me to report and implicate me, everything is over.I got into a big car with the people on the list, accompanied by soldiers with submachine guns.I said to Xiaoxiu: "It's over! I'll take you to meet your ancestors!" Xiaoxiu's face turned pale all of a sudden.The person who took the list smiled and said: "What are you afraid of? Didn't I tell you that this is a rest?" I ignored him, and I just said in my heart: "Scam! Scam! Scam!" The car stopped in front of a building, and there were soldiers with submachine guns at the door.An unarmed soldier greeted us, led us into the gate, and said, "Go upstairs!"I rolled up my coat, tucked it under my arm, and went upstairs.I walked faster and faster, and I overtook the leader, so that he had to rush to get ahead of me.When he got upstairs, he walked quickly to the door of a house and motioned for me to come in.This is a big room with long tables and chairs in the middle, and some fruits, cigarettes, and snacks on the tables.I threw my clothes on the table, picked up an apple, took a bite, and said to myself, this is a "death feast", eat it and leave.I bit half of the apple, and the people behind arrived one after another.In a short while, the room was full of people. In addition to the dozen or so of us who came by name, there were also many people in Zhongshan suits and military uniforms. Not far from me, a middle-aged man in a tunic suit appeared and began to speak.I swallowed hard, but I didn't hear a word he said.I managed to finish eating the apple, so I stood up and interrupted him: "Stop talking, let's go!" Some in Chinese tunic suits laughed.The speaker also laughed and said: "You are too nervous. Don't be afraid. When you arrive in Fushun, take a good rest and study honestly..." After hearing these words clearly, I was stunned.Don't you want me to die?How is this going?At this time, the person who happened to bring us came over, holding the roll call list in his hand, and reported to the person who had just spoken that, except for Xizhi who hadn't arrived due to illness, all the others who needed to rest had come.As soon as I heard it, this was no longer blind hunting.In order to prove this point, I desperately stepped forward and snatched the list.Although this action caused a burst of laughter, I figured out that it was indeed a list, not something like a death sentence.At this time, Zhang Jinghui's son Xiao Zhang also came.He was the first to return to China with another group of Puppet Manchukuo war criminals. He told us the current situation of that group of people, and also the situation of some of their families.Everyone heard that the first group of people are alive and their families are in good condition. The children are studying and working, and everyone’s faces are shining.At this time, my tears are like spring water, rushing to... Of course, the feeling of relaxation I got didn't last long, it was only an hour on the road from Shenyang to Fushun, but after all, it played a role in relaxing the nerves, otherwise I would really go crazy.Because after getting on the train from Khabarovsk, for five days all I could think about was death.