Chapter 37 True Wisdom in Laughter Part 5-7

There is a large-scale physics student association in Canada, which often holds conferences and publishes papers.Once, the Vancouver chapter wanted me to come and talk to them. The girl who arranged the event got in touch with my secretary, and before I knew it, I flew all the way to Los Angeles and walked right into my office.She's a playful, pretty blonde (which helps things a lot, it shouldn't make a difference in theory, but it does).I was impressed that the students in Vancouver paid for the whole thing and they treated me well in Vancouver.So I knew the secret to giving a speech and having fun at the same time: wait for the students to invite you.

A few years after I received the Nobel Prize, I was once invited by the Physics Society at UC Irvine to give a lecture.I said, "I'd love to go, but I just want to speak to the students in the physics club because—and I don't want to be rude—I know from past experience that there will be trouble." I told them that I used to go to a middle school every year and talk to them about relativity and stuff like that.But after I won the Nobel Prize, I ran to this middle school to give a speech as usual without any mental preparation, but there were 300 students crowded there, and the result was chaos!

Three or four times I have had this frightening experience, like an idiot, unable to comprehend it for a moment.When the University of Berkeley invited me to give a lecture on physics, I prepared some rather specific topics, and the expected audience was physics students. But when I arrived at the venue, I found that the huge lecture hall was full of people!As a matter of fact, I know that it is impossible to fill a lecture hall with people who understand what I am talking about!My problem is that I always want to make the audience happy, but if everyone plus their brothers and sisters come to listen, I'm out of luck, because I don't know who is coming!

After the students understood that I couldn't simply go to a school and give a speech to the students in the physics club, I said: "Let's think about a very boring topic and name a boring professor. Only those who are really interested in physics The students will come, this is the audience we want, okay? Don't make a big publicity." So, several posters were posted on the campus: "Professor Warren of the University of Washington will give a lecture on proton structure in classroom D102 at 3 pm on May 17." After I got on stage, I said, "Professor Warren couldn't come to give a speech temporarily, so he called me and asked if I could talk about this topic. I happened to have done some research on this topic, so I Here we come." It was perfect.

But somehow the club's counselor caught on to our trick and threw a fit.He said to the students: "You know what? If everyone knows that Professor Feynman is coming, many people will want to come and listen to him speak." The student explained: "That's why we did that!" But the professor was still furious because he didn't know about the joke beforehand. Knowing that the students were in so much trouble, I decided to write to the professor and explain to him that it was all my fault and that I asked them to follow my schedule, otherwise I would not speak and I told the students not to speak. Tell anyone, I say I'm sorry, please forgive me etc.That's all the trouble I've had to endure after winning that damn prize!

Last year, students at the University of Alaska invited me to give a lecture, and apart from the interview with the local TV station, the whole process was very pleasant.I don't want to be interviewed, that's not very interesting.I'm here to speak to physics students, that's all, if everyone in town wants to know what I said, a report in the school paper is enough - I won a Nobel Prize, people still have to come and interview me The big guy's, right? I have a very rich friend who said of people who donate money to set up prizes or sponsor speeches, "Watch carefully and see what they have done that violates their conscience. You need to rely on this to assuage the guilt."

My friend Matt Sands once wanted to write a book called "Another Nobel Mistake". For many years, when the day of the Nobel Prize announcement approached, I also kept an eye on who might win it.But after a while, I didn't even know that the Nobel Prize "season" had arrived.So I just don't understand why anyone would call me at 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning. "Professor Feynman?" "Hey! Why are you calling me at this time?" "I thought you'd be glad to know you've won the Nobel Prize." "Yes, but I'm sleeping! Wouldn't it be better if you waited until the morning to call and tell me?" I hung up.

The wife asked, "Who is that?" "They said I won the Nobel Prize." "Well, Richard, who the hell is it?" I used to joke, so she learned to be smart and never fell for it, but this time I caught me. The phone rang again: "Professor Feynman, have you heard..." Very disappointed and said: "Yes." And then I started thinking, "How do I stop this? I don't want these troubles! "The first thing was to unplug the phone line, because the calls kept coming in. I wanted to go back to sleep, but I couldn't sleep anymore. I went downstairs to the study to think: what should I do?Maybe I don't want to accept this award.Then what happens?It may not be possible to do that at all.I put the phone back on and it rang immediately. It was a reporter from Time Magazine.I told him, "Look, I'm in trouble, so you don't want to make this public. I don't know how to get out of this. Is there anything I can do to keep me from accepting this award?"

He said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to get in more trouble than you accept your prize in any way." Apparently so.We talked for ten or twenty minutes, and the content was quite exciting, and he didn't disclose this paragraph afterwards. I thanked the reporter and hung up the phone.The phone rang again immediately, it was a newspaper reporter. "Okay, you can come to my house, it's okay, okay, okay..." One of the calls was from the Swedish consulate, who planned to host a reception in Los Angeles. I feel that since I decided to accept the award, I have to endure these troubles.

The consul said: "Make a list of the VIPs you want to invite, we will also make a list of VIPs, and then I will go to your office to compare the two lists to see if there are any duplicates, and then draw up the invitation list... " So I drew up a list of about 8 people - my neighbor who lives across the street, my artist friend Zuo Shi'en, and so on. The Consul came to my office with his list: the Governor of California, this Governor, that Governor, an oil tycoon, a certain actress - 300 people!Needless to say, the two lists do not duplicate at all! Then, I started getting a little nervous.The thought of meeting these dignitaries is terrifying.

The consul saw that I was worried. "Oh, don't worry," he said, "most of them won't come." This is great, I've never planned a dinner like this: invite guests who you didn't expect to come!I don't want to bow down to anyone, it's so stupid to let them have the honor of being invited, and at the same time be able to decline the invitation. When I came home that day, I felt extremely annoyed.I called the Swedish consulate and said, "I think about it again, I just can't stand this reception." He was very happy and said, "You're absolutely right." I think he came to the same place as I did, and he was probably thinking, "It's going to be such a hassle to throw a party for this idiot." Everyone was happy: no one Wanting to attend the reception, including the award-winning VIPs, the host is even more happy and relaxed! During this period of time, I have been having difficulty in psychological adjustment.You know, growing up my dad was always dismissive of royalty and hypocrites (he was in the business of selling uniforms and knew very well the same people. What's the difference between putting on a uniform and taking it off).In fact, having been cynical about such things all my life, I had a strong feeling that I couldn't walk up to the Swedish king with poise.I know it's childish, but that's how I was raised, so it's going to pose a problem. Someone told me that there is a rule in Sweden, that is, after receiving the award, one must walk backwards from the king and return to his position without turning around.So I said to myself, "Okay, watch me fix them!" So I practiced jumping up and down the stairs backwards, trying to show how ridiculous their rules were.I'm in a bad mood!Of course, this kind of behavior is very childish and ridiculous. Later, I found out that the rules had been changed. After receiving the award, I could turn around and walk back to my place like a normal person, with my nose facing straight ahead. I was also very happy to find out that not everyone in Sweden takes royal ceremonies so seriously.When I got there, I found that they were on the same side as me. For example, the Swedish student union held some very special "frog ceremonies" for each Nobel Prize winner. When you get that little frog, you have to learn how to call a frog.When I was younger, I was very countercultural.My father has many good books, one of which is the classical Greek play "The Frog" written by the famous Greek playwright Aristophanes: Once, I flipped through this book and saw a frog in it speak.It says in the book: "Buyek-Koyek-Koyek--" I thought, "Frogs don't call like that, that's a strange way to describe a frog!" So I tried that myself, tried After a few times, I found that it was indeed similar to the cry of a frog. This worked so well that I was later able to perform a lifelike frog call during a student ceremony for the Nobel laureate!And jumping backwards and forwards also happens to come in handy at this time.I loved that part, and the ceremony went really well. As much as I had fun, I've always had a mental block.What worries me is the speech of thanks to be delivered at the King's Supper.When they award you the Nobel Prize, they will also give you a few thick hardcover books about the history of past Nobel Prizes, which contain the thank you speeches of previous winners, as if that is a big deal one thing.So you start to feel that the content of the thank you letter is a little important, because it will be printed in the book.What I didn't understand at the time was that almost no one pays attention to the content of the speeches, let alone reads them!I was completely overwhelmed and I just couldn't just say "thank you so much" kind of thing.It's easy to do, but I have to be honest, the truth is, I don't really want this Nobel Prize, how can I say thank you when I don't want it at all? My wife said I was terribly nervous and worried about the content of my speech, but I finally thought of a way to make it sound perfect, but also from the bottom of my heart.I believe that the audience in the audience can't imagine what kind of suffering I went through in order to prepare for this speech. My opening statement is: For me, I have got my reward from the enjoyment of discoveries in scientific research, from the fact that others can use my research results, and so on.I tried to say that I had got everything I expected, so that the rest was nothing compared to that, and that I had really got my prize. Then, I said quickly, I had received stacks of letters that reminded me of letters from many people I've known in the past, including childhood friends, telling me that when they saw the news in the papers that morning, they jumped up and yelled:" I know this guy! He used to play with us when we were kids!" The letters were such an outpouring of support and love, and I thank them for that. The presentation went well, but I've been having a bit of trouble getting on with the royal family.I sat next to a princess at the king's dinner, who had gone to college in America, so I mistook her to be in the same frame of mind as I was. Thinking she was just like any other young student, I talked about how the king and the rest of the royal family had to stand a long time before the dinner, shaking hands with all the guests.I said, "If it were in the United States, we would make this more efficient, and we would invent a handshake." "Yes, but there won't be much market here," she said uneasily. "The royal family doesn't have that many people." "On the contrary, the market is huge. At first, only the king will have a handshake, and we will give it to him for free. Then, of course, other people will also want to have such a machine. The question is, who will be allowed to have a handshake Woolen cloth? Of course, the prime minister can have one, the president of the Senate can also buy one, and important senior members of parliament can also buy one; so the market continues to expand.Soon, you don't need to wait in a long line to shake hands with the machine, you can just send your mobile phone to shake hands with other people's mobile phones! " There is another woman sitting next to me who is in charge of arranging the dinner.The waitress came to pour my drink and I said, "No thanks, I don't drink." "No, no, let her pour," the woman said. "But I don't drink." She said, "It's ok. You see, she has two bottles. We know that guest 88 doesn't drink alcohol." (88 sat behind me) "Both bottles look exactly the same, but one of them has no alcohol." "How do you know?" I wondered. She smiled: "Look at the king, he doesn't drink." She also told me about the difficulties they encountered that year.One of the difficulties was, where should the Soviet ambassador sit?The problem with dinners like this is always who gets to sit closer to the king.The seat of the Nobel Prize winner is usually closer to the king than the diplomatic mission, and the seat of the diplomat is determined by the length of time they have been stationed in Sweden.At that time, the American ambassador stayed in Sweden longer than the Soviet ambassador, but it happened that the Nobel Prize winner for literature Mikhail Sho1okhov was Russian. The Soviet ambassador had to translate for Sholokhov, so he wanted to sit next to him.So the question was how to get the Soviet ambassador to sit closer to the king without offending the American ambassador and other members of the diplomatic corps. She said: "You should see the scuffle that ensued—the letters came and went, the phone rang—and finally I was allowed to seat the Soviet ambassador next to Mr. Solokov. Everyone finally The agreed arrangement is that the Soviet ambassador will not officially represent the Soviet embassy that night, but only Mr. Solokov's interpreter." After dinner, we went to another room and we talked in twos and threes. There was a certain princess of Denmark at one of the tables, and a group of people surrounded her.I saw an empty seat at that table and sat down. She turned to me and said, "Oh! You are a Nobel Prize winner. What kind of research are you doing?" "Physics," I said. "Oh, nobody knows anything about physics, so I guess we can't talk about physics." "On the contrary," I replied, "we can't talk about physics when someone understands it. We can talk about what no one understands. We can talk about the weather, social issues, psychology, we can talk about international finance - but we can't talk about gold trading, because everyone understands gold trading - so the things that everyone can talk about are the things that no one understands! " I don't know how these people do it: they have a way of getting frost on their faces, and she's a master of it!She immediately turned her head to talk to someone else. After a while, realizing that their conversation completely shut me out, I got up and walked away.The Japanese ambassador sitting at the same table got up and followed me.He said: "Professor Feynman, I want to tell you something about diplomacy." He told a long story about a young Japanese man who went to university to study international relations and wanted to contribute to the country.In his sophomore year, he began to suffer a little bit, doubting what he was studying.After graduation, I began to work in the embassy, ​​and I doubted how much I knew about diplomacy.In the end, he came to understand that no one knows anything about international relations.After figuring this out, he is eligible to become an ambassador! "So, Professor Feynman, the next time you want to give an example of what everyone is talking about that no one understands, please put international relations on the list!" He's a very interesting guy, so let's talk.I have always been very interested in how different countries and different peoples develop differently.I told the Japanese ambassador that I had been interested in a very unusual thing: How did Japan develop into such a modern world power so quickly? "Which side of the Japanese character or style is related to the fact that the Japanese can do this?" I asked. The ambassador's answer won my heart.He said: "I don't know. I can only assume, but I don't know if that's true. The Japanese believe that they have only one way to get ahead, and that is to educate their children more than they can. For them, it is very important to break away from the status of farmers and become intellectuals. Therefore, every family is diligent in urging the children to perform well in school and work hard. Because of this tendency of continuous learning, foreign New concepts spread quickly in the education system, and that may be one of the reasons for Japan's rapid development." Overall, my trip to Sweden was quite pleasant.Instead of going home right away, I went to give a lecture at CERN in Switzerland. When I showed up to my peers, I was still wearing the suit from the King's Dinner.I've never given a speech in a suit in the past.My starter is: "You know what? It's funny, in Sweden, we were sitting there discussing whether something would change after winning the Nobel Prize. Actually, there was a change: I kind of liked the dress." Everyone booed back.Victor Weisskopf jumped up and took off his jacket and said, "Don't wear a suit to a speech!" I took off my frock coat, loosened my tie, and said, "After a while in Sweden, I started liking this stuff; but now that I'm back in this world, it's normal again. Thanks for helping me get back to my normal self !” They didn’t want me to change, so at CERN they quickly wiped out Sweden’s influence on me. It would be nice to get a bonus, too, so I could buy a house by the sea.But on the whole, I think it would be better if you didn't get the Nobel Prize, because after winning the award, no one will be candid with you in public anymore. On one level, this award can be unnerving; but for once, I did get a little fun out of it.Not long after winning the award, the Brazilian government invited me and Vinice to be guests of honor at the Rio Carnival celebration.We jumped at the invitation and had a great time.We danced one dance after another and watched a grand parade in the street. The famous samba band in the procession played wonderful rhythm and music.Newspaper and magazine photographers kept taking pictures: "Look! Professor America dances with Miss Brazil." Being "celebrity" is fun, but we were obviously the wrong kind of celebrities, and no one made a big fuss about VIPs that year.Then I found out how we were invited.It turned out that they originally invited the famous actress Jenna Lulu Brigitte, but she declined the invitation on the eve of the carnival.The Minister of Tourism of Brazil, who is in charge of preparing the carnival, has several friends who work in the Physics Research Center, and they know that I have participated in the performance of the samba orchestra.Now that I've just won the Nobel Prize and been exposed in the media, in a panic, the Minister of Tourism and his friends come up with the crazy idea of ​​replacing Jenna Lulu Brigitte with a physics professor! Needless to say, the Minister of Tourism lost his job in the government department because of the bad carnival that year!