Chapter 33 Part 5: True Wisdom in Jokes-3

Once, a science teacher at a nearby city university came up and asked me if I would give a lecture at their school for $50.Money wasn't my concern, I told him: "You said 'city' college, didn't you?" "good." I thought of the amount of paperwork I had to deal with when dealing with government agencies in the past, so I laughed and said, "I'd be happy to give a speech, but on one condition,"—and I'm going to keep it off the rails before continuing Go on - "It's just that I will only sign my name up to 13 times, and that includes one when I cash the check!"

He also laughed: "13 times! No problem." It started.First of all, I have to sign a document saying that I am really loyal to the government, otherwise I will not be able to speak in the city university, and I have to sign it twice. Next, I'm going to sign an offer to give up what rights or something - can't remember, it's for the city government.Before long, the number of signatures began to increase. In addition, I have to sign a document certifying that I am a genuine professor. Of course, since this is the city government's business, they want to make sure that the person in charge doesn't secretly find his wife or friends to give a speech, or even take money to not invite someone to speak at all.They want to guarantee a lot of things, and the number of signatures has been increasing.

The teacher who laughed at first also became nervous, but in the end it was just right, I just signed 12 times, and the remaining one could be used to sign a check; so I went to their school to fulfill the promise. A few days later, the teacher brought me the check, but his forehead was sweating; because he couldn't give me the check unless I first signed a form proving that I had actually given the speech. I said, "If I sign this form, I can't cash the check. You were there, you listened to the speech, why can't you sign it? " "Sir," said he, "isn't this a little too boring?"

"No. We talked about this arrangement from the beginning. We didn't think it would be 13 times at the time, but we both agreed at the time, and I think we should stick to it." He said: "I have worked hard, asked many people, and tried everything; but they all told me that there is no way, you can't get the check if you don't sign this form." "It doesn't matter," I said, "I only signed 12 times, and I gave the speech. I don't need the money." "But I'm sorry." "It's okay, we agreed, don't worry."

The next day he called: "They can't deny you that money! The money has been drawn up and they must give you the money!" "Well, if it must be, let them give me the money." "But you have to sign the form." "I won't sign that form!" They were all stuck.In their system, a sum of money like this - which should be paid to this person but can't be paid because he won't sign - is simply impossible to handle! Finally, things settled down.The process took a long time and was complicated. Anyway, I cashed the check with my 13th signature. I don't know why, every time I go out for a long time, I am always very careless, and I can't remember the address, phone number, or even anything related to the host.

Every time I thought someone would pick me up, or that the people with me knew exactly where we were going.But things tend to turn around. In 1957, I went to a seminar on gravity at the University of North Carolina.My responsibility is to discuss the physics of gravity as another physics expert. Since I couldn't attend the first day of the meeting, it was already the second day of the meeting when I walked out of the airport.I went to where the taxi was called and said to the man, "I'm going to the University of North Carolina." "Which one are you talking about," he said, "North Carolina State University in Rae Ali, or the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill?"

Needless to say, I'm totally confused. "Where are they?" I asked, thinking that the location of this and that should be very close. "One is in the north, and the other is heading south. The journeys are about the same distance." I didn't have any papers with me to figure out which one it was, and I wasn't around anyone who was a day late for the meeting like I was. I had an idea. "Listen," I said to the guy at the taxi stand, "the meeting started yesterday, so there must have been a lot of people passing by yesterday to attend the seminar. Let me describe these people to see if you remember them: they were probably a little In a daze, talking while walking, not paying much attention to which direction he was going, the content of the conversation was 'a few-miao-bird, a few-miao-bird'." (Note: "Ji-- "Miao-bird" is the transliteration of Gμν.

μ and ν are Greek letters, and Gμν is a common symbol in gravitational physics. ) his whole face lit up and he said, "You're going to Chapel Hill!" He waved for a taxi, "Take this gentleman to UNC Chapel Hill." "Thank you!" I said, arriving at the meeting without a hitch.