Chapter 86 About draft

As an author, the biggest external pain must be the contradiction between the pressure of the publishing cycle and the quality of your own writing, especially when you are already very familiar with the rush of manuscripts, you know, this is irreconcilable.But if you face this pain long enough, you will find that it is not unbearable.What is really uncomfortable is that after you have endured these pains, you have to bear more incomprehension. But I'm still procrastinating as always. I am a slow player, especially in the later stage, the writing speed will become slower and slower.It’s not because you don’t write, but because the longer you write a long story, the more information you have ahead, and the more you need to worry. After you write five books, the basic clues and puzzles in front of you will become mountains and weigh you down. It makes you helpless and every step is extremely difficult.

In this case, many times, I can only choose a safe writing speed.However, I've gotten a lot of flak for writing slowly.These infamy accumulated one book after another, slowly drowning out the applause I could hear before, and slowly becoming the mainstream. It is impossible for me to say against my will that my heart has always been calm when facing these words.Anyone who faces so many criticisms in the early stage will doubt their own value. "It turns out that there are so many people who don't like me." I can imagine the frustration in my heart at that time, "I'm exhausted", "Irresponsible", and countless blames were flying in the sky.

I only write for people who like me. I really wanted to say such a sentence, but I couldn't.Slowly, my anxieties with this information started to overwhelm me.That year, I don't know what method I used to calm down my heart slowly. I want to thank my friends, one of whom has already become famous and experienced all this. She told me that writing It is a kind of meditation.Writing is a process of gazing into the heart.All the things I was worried about losing didn't exist for me before. So, what I lost, I just didn't deserve.I haven't lost everything I had before writing, like a child who picks ten apples off an apple tree and finds three of them are rotten.He should not be disheartened at the loss of three apples, but at the sight of the other seven intact.

Words have some power, and I gradually understood this truth: emotion is something that cannot be quantified, sadness is sadness, and happiness is happiness.I write to find my initial happiness. It would be unworthy to show my 100% sadness because of a small loss. However, although I have my own helplessness and persistence in delaying the draft, I still want to apologize to all my readers here.Five years of waiting seems to be a small cycle in life, and I apologize for all the pain you have suffered during this waiting.At the same time, I also hope that this set of novels can become a memory during these five years of waiting.Five years is a long period of time in one's life. If there is a fat man who can make so many people struggle for five years in their precious lives, this fat man will be regarded as a consummated meritorious deed.So even though it was painful, I would secretly be happy while apologizing.

Why do I like stories? Let me talk about my life first.On February 20th, 1982, I was born in a small town in Zhejiang Province. I was born in the middle of the night. When I was born, neither the sky nor the earth responded. When I think about it, I blame God to some extent, because even if there was a thunder in the sky when I was born, I still have reasons to think that I must be different from other people.Unfortunately, I can't go back.I can only hang around in this world as a truly ordinary person. My family background is quite complicated.My grandma is from Taixing, Jiangsu, and my publisher is still a fellow.My grandma is a boat lady, that is to say, she has no property, and all her property is ninety-one small wooden boats.My grandfather died when my father was five years old.My father has an older brother and an older sister.I don't know the reason for my grandfather's death, nor does my father, but only vaguely know that my grandma should be regarded as my grandfather's child bride.

Grandma actually had many children, none of whom were able to support her at the time. My father was the youngest, so he loved me very much.In the 1960s, because of the famine, my grandma's boat set off from Taixing to Shanghai. On the Huangpu River, his boat sank because of a collision with a big ship. My grandma took three children with her. The moment they went ashore, they cried bitterly. Their home was gone. Now that they are on land, looking at the vast Shanghai Beach, all she can feel is incomparable fear. Thanks to the party and the people, my grandma was resettled.In my father's memory, there is a particularly peaceful and beautiful memory of old Shanghai.I calculated that if my father hadn't gone ashore at that time, he might not have gone to school, and maybe there would have been no subsequent events.

I don’t know why, but my father later left Shanghai and came to Zhejiang Province for activities near Shanghai. After the “Cultural Revolution” began, my father followed the Railway Corps into the Daxing’anling branch and spent his most precious time in the Construction Corps. youth.My mother was also one of the youths who went from the south to the northern branch.My mother was very beautiful. She was only sixteen years old at the time. Together with three other southern girls, they were called the Four Golden Flowers of Daxing’an Mountains. My father, who was the head of affairs, chased her with special white rice.

At that time, their pair should have been quite a dazzling pair.In the Construction Corps, people were divided into factions by region. Ningbo, Wenzhou, and Lishui all had their own small groups, and conflicts continued during the period.My father has been able to fight since he was a child, and he has a lot of fighting skills.At that time, my mother said, there was hardly a spot on my father that was free of scars.Because of his ability to fight and his loyalty, my father had authority in all groups.As long as there was a fight, when my father appeared, no one would say a word.After returning to the south, once my father escorted a boat of watermelons, and encountered rioters robbing watermelons, my father beat dozens of rioters into the water with a pole on the boat, although in the end they were outnumbered and had to abandon the melons. , but his majesty at that time, I feel enjoyable when I think about it.Coupled with my mother's amazing beauty, the two of them were quite jealous at the time.

When it comes to my mother, his family is even more interesting. My grandmother is a kiln owner in a place called Qianyao in our hometown.There are one thousand kiln mouths in Qianyao, which was the core production area at that time.At that time, my grandmother owned a large kiln in the local area and belonged to a very prestigious class.My grandfather escaped from the strong men of the Kuomintang.After the founding of New China, the two became a couple after being introduced. There must be thousands and thousands of stories about my grandmother and grandfather.At that time, my grandfather was born with supernatural power and was 1.86 meters tall. He was like a giant in the society at that time.My grandma said that the reason why she married my grandpa was because she saw him lift something that three people could only lift.Of course, it seems that there are many episodes in this marriage.When my grandfather passed away, I vaguely heard my grandmother telling my mother about my grandfather's previous romantic affairs in the mourning hall.

I have seen photos of my parents back then. My father was so handsome that people couldn't look directly at them, but my mother now looks like a lotus flower.They are so beautiful and good that every time I look in the mirror, I feel how unfair the world is.So many excellent genes, when they came to me, they behaved so wretchedly. My parents established a relationship in Daxing'anling, then transferred to Daqing Oilfield, and then returned to the South.My father was the non-staple food manager of the supply and marketing system at the time, and it can be said that he held the power of supplies, so my family was considered to be pretty good.Then, on a night that featured nothing, I was born.

After writing this, many people will find it interesting, and some people will find it boring, thinking that this is all about what, is it meaningful to say this? In fact, it is very meaningful.I want to tell everyone that my grandma, my grandparents, and my parents are all very good storytellers.When I was born as the first child of two families, how did I spend my childhood in a time when there was no TV, no movies, no Internet, no novels? tell a story. I grew up under the watchful eye of a circle of storytellers.Folk tales, war stories, fairy tales, my childhood was full of these.Some stories sound very contagious now, and I used many of them directly in "Tomb Raiders Notes". I was sure at that point that all of our initial fun could only come from stories.This is also the most basic and reason why I was fascinated by stories later, because I can fully enjoy the fun that stories can convey. Afterwards, my life can be described as "boring" and failed in all aspects. In today's terms, I can be called a waste wood.Some people say that when a person is born, God will always give him some special skills so that he can help others.However, for a long time, I really felt that I didn't have any special skills. In my circle of friends, there is always such a phenomenon: students with good grades generally do not do well in sports; Students who are ugly, have good grades and sports, and are not ugly, will usually fall in love with each other and be expelled; students who have good grades and sports, are not ugly, and are particularly disciplined and do not fall in love with each other, they all become gay later on. . What am I trying to say? What I want to say is that I have nothing to do with the above, it is the tragedy of this society. No one ever cared about a kid who had bad sports and grades, was ugly, skipped classes and was undisciplined. Many times when I dream back at midnight, I feel that God is so unfair. Everyone around me has a legendary life. Why is my life like this? I was not in good health at the time. Ever since I fainted in the exam room during an exam in elementary school, the teacher would focus on me every time I took an exam, and would arrange me in a ventilated and temperature-friendly place.This place must be the feng shui treasure of the whole examination room. When the teacher invigilates the examination, except for patrolling, he will definitely rest there It doesn't work either.But travel and sports are even more irrelevant to me.I was born with a pair of fisherman's feet - very long toes and the longest big toe, which is very useful for lazy swimming, but completely useless when you need explosive power.In addition, as long as the sun is a little bigger, it is easy to suddenly fall to the ground and foam at the mouth. The physical education teacher saw me as if he saw the principal's son, and took good care of me.So most of my physical education classes were spent in the shade of a tree, wearing a white shirt and holding a novel in hand. For myself, this kind of life in the early days was quite comfortable. Except for being hit on the head by a banana ball kicked by a handsome guy on the field and rolling down the stairs, I still especially like those quiet days when I don’t sweat and read a book . I think many people have my experience, but not necessarily my absolute.At that time, I read novels almost all the time.After I emptied the library, I turned to a small private bookstore, and looked at the first book on the shelf.The books are all borrowed with money, and soon the money will not be enough.For me, who has no special skills, earning living expenses is simply a fantasy, so I started to read books in bookstores, but usually I read three books and borrowed one, so the boss was embarrassed to drive me away, because I After all, it was a big customer in the early stage. Although the number of borrowings decreased after that, the frequency was high and the total amount was good.I think my emotional intelligence was developed at this time.By the end of junior high school, I had no more books to read, so I started to write some things myself.Although the quality is not high, but after finishing a round of formal novel reading, I suddenly have a strong desire-I want to write a novel by myself.At that time, this idea had nothing to do with any dream. I didn’t want to be a writer at all. At that time, I just thought that it would be a cool thing to write a good-looking story and let everyone rush to read it behind my back. . That year, I started really writing.From the beginning of graffiti writing, to analyzing those famous works by myself, abbreviating, re-outlining, looking for suspense setting skills, and looking for the basic rhythm of the novel, in just two months, I slowly discovered that I wrote it. The novels are getting better and better. However, I still dare not contribute. The life of waste materials makes it difficult for me to encourage myself to take this step.There was no computer at that time, so I used paper and pen to write on manuscript paper.Slowly, I started to get addicted to it.I abandoned my studies, and by the time I graduated from university, I had written more than 20 million words, most of which were written in various discarded homework books.I am a person who changes homework books very frequently, because the first part of my homework book is homework, and the second part is often the novel I wrote.This makes it easier for me to write during class. Often, I can finish writing in a notebook in two or three classes, and I have to change to a new notebook when I do my homework the next day.To be honest, looking back now, the level of some of the things I wrote can still make me speechless. Not only can it be compared with the current one, but many works are even better than the current one.Because I paid attention to writing and sentences at that time, but now I am an old fritter, knowing that it is enough to express the meaning clearly, and I am often too lazy to think about the words. Throughout the writing process, I have a particularly obvious feature, that is, I only write stories.At that time, there were many types of stories. I wrote martial arts, suspense, and love, and I even started to write the more popular genres now, such as time-travel novels.But unlike other literature lovers, I only want to write stories, and the sentence I most hope to hear is: "What's next? Is it written later?" Because this is the best evaluation of my story. After the publication of "Tomb Raiders Notes", many people asked me a question: Do you think your success is due to luck? I want to say that there is no single success without luck.It is always good to have some good luck, although luck is not what people need most.Many times we also know that luck can't help you much. Even if you win the lottery, if you don't have the ability to handle it, the money in your hand will quickly turn into big trouble. What people need is actually the ability to seize opportunities.The moment I decided to write "Notes on Tomb Raiders", I had a mentality of not caring. This kind of indifference can attract many people to read it. Among them, the 20 million words should be credited. So, if I really want to say where my luck is, I think my luck is that I am not smart enough, my grades are not good enough, and my sports are not good enough, but God prefers ugly people. Today, I accept everything calmly, and it has nothing to do with luck and talent being number one, I'm just being led by the nose all the time.What I want to say is that if this person likes to eat very much, he has been deeply involved in eating since childhood, and she can succeed in eating until the age of thirty; if this person likes fighting very much, he has been involved in eating since childhood. He just likes to fight, and if he fights until he is thirty, he can be successful. If you like something and stick to it, you can always succeed. After saying some polite words, I probably should write something in the postscript, and now I want to talk about something I really want to say.Turn this page, do a little mental preparation.