Chapter 5 Section 3 Formation of Marriage

Prospering in the Zhou Dynasty and continuing in the entire feudal society of China, marriage by engagement is the only way of establishing marriage recognized by feudal etiquette.However, ancient records and archaeological excavations have confirmed that, before marriage by engagement, marriage by plunder, marriage by sale, and marriage by exchange were the most popular ways of establishing marriages in the ancient slave society of our country. This refers to a way of establishing a marriage in which a man snatches a woman as his wife by force without the consent of the woman herself and her relatives.Predatory marriages in ancient China appeared around the establishment of the patrilineal society, and remained popular for a period of time after entering the slave society.The book of divination (shi shi) in the Zhou Dynasty once described it like this:

"Riding a horse is like riding a horse, weeping blood like a bandit (not) bandit is married." It means that the woman is sobbing when she hears the sound of trampling horseshoes. People and horses.Kou marriage is the same name, which shows the existence of plundering marriage.It is better to grab a marriage at dusk when the sky is dark.At that time, the twilight was dark, and it was a good time for raids and plunder. Therefore, the word marriage was first written as "faint cause" and "faint marriage"; Buy-and-sell marriages are associated with the accumulation of private property after the development of productive forces.With private property, the situation where men rode horses and held bows and went openly to snatch marriages gradually disappeared, and business marriages followed.Buying and selling marriage is a way of establishing a marriage in which a woman is regarded as a commodity and other commodities are exchanged for her as a wife and concubine.

Marriage by sale did exist in the slave society of our country, which can also be confirmed from the literal meanings of the words "concubine" and "帑 [nu slave]". "Concubine" was the title for a man's spouse in society at that time. "Shuowen Jiezi" interprets the word "concubine" as "horse", and horse can also refer to "silk horse", which is a kind of goods.The word is ambiguous, indicating the close connection between the object and the wife.Bartering wives with things, or bartering things with women, this is the characteristic of buying and selling marriages.The ancients often used "帑" to refer to their wives. "Zuo Zhuan Wengong Six Years" contains: "Jia Ji ran to Di, and Xuanzi sent Yu Pian to give him money." The interpretation of the word "帑" here in "Shu" is "wife also".And the original meaning of "帑" [tang 何] is "gold coins are hidden" ("Shuowen Jiezi").From the original meaning to the extended meaning, the intermediary is the fact of "regarding wives as goods".

Buy-and-sell marriage is an important stage in the history of marriage development in our country, and later engagement marriage evolved from it.The so-called rule of hiring a wife and buying a concubine has existed for a long time in Chinese history.And in fact, it is difficult to distinguish between buying and selling marriages and betrothal marriages. Its inferior remnant - feudal arranged buying and selling marriages, has ruled the land of China for thousands of years and has not yet completely disappeared. In exchange marriage, the parents of both parties exchange their daughters for their daughter-in-law, or the men exchange their sisters for their wives.The rise of exchange marriages is also premised on the formation of private ownership. Only when women are regarded as private property can we talk about exchange.In ancient classics, the word "marriage" is often used together, which is also a relic of the exchange marriage in ancient my country. "Shuowen Jiezi" called "negotiation" as "bigamy", and Qing Dynasty scholar Duan Yucai's "Shuowen Jiezi Notes" explained it more thoroughly: "Bigamous people, overlapping and interacting are marriages." When the Zhou Dynasty was not yet founded The generational marriage of the Ji and Jiang surnames may be the continuation of the ancient exogamous system of exogamy.

After entering the Zhou Dynasty, with the development of productive forces and the differentiation of classes, the gap between the rich and the poor gradually widened in society.Marriage by sale and exchange once prevalent in society can no longer meet the different needs of all social classes for the establishment of marriage: the children of wealthy slave owners' families, it is no longer in line with their status and status to judge marriage based on the amount of wealth. Their status and exchange marriages are too restrictive for them; poor slaves are only assigned to marry by their masters; civilian families also face many obstacles in choosing a spouse due to their different circumstances and the number of children.The development of society and the need for the rule of rites urgently required the slave-owners and nobles to use a certain system to control people's marriages. Therefore, the marriage system, the most important way of establishing marriages that has lasted for thousands of years in Chinese history, came into being. up.

In short, marriage by appointment means that a man marries a wife according to the procedure of engagement, and a woman gets married according to the procedure of engagement.The most important feature of engagement and marriage is what is often referred to as "the order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker [shuoshuo]". Matchmaker, according to the explanation of "Shuowen Jiezi", means to consider the meaning of matching the two surnames.The role of the matchmaker is stated in the "Book of Rites·Qu Li": "Men and women have to be a matchmaker, and they are not well-known to each other; if they don't accept money, they can't pay each other. Therefore, the sun and the moon sue the king, and fasting tells the ghosts and gods. Wine and food are used to call friends from the township party, and to favor others." In the earliest collection of poems in my country, the role of matchmakers is described vividly. The article "Wei Feng·Mang" wrote: "Chi Chi, the gangster, holds Bu Maosi. The bandit comes to Maosi, and when he comes, I plan. Sending his son Sheqi, as for Dunqiu. The bandit is in the past, and the son has no good match. Will There is no anger, and the autumn is hopeful." It means that a young man is excitedly holding a cloth to exchange for silk, but he actually has something to discuss with me.I will send you over Qishui until Dunqiu can't bear to go back.It's not that I delayed on purpose, but that you didn't find a good matchmaker, please don't be angry with me, and wait until the cool autumn to get engaged.This poem shows that under the marriage system, even if young men and women love each other privately and are inseparable, if they want to get married formally, they still have to be matched by a matchmaker.

In the poem, there are several poems that use an ax as a metaphor for cutting down trees, indicating that you must rely on a matchmaker to marry a wife.For example, "Bin Feng · Fake" said: "How about Fake? Bandit ax can't do it. How about marrying a wife? Bandit matchmaker can't." "Qi Feng Nanshan" wrote: "How about salary analysis? Bandit ax can't do it How about taking a wife? Bandit matchmakers are not allowed." From then on, matchmaking was called "Fake", "Zuofa" or "Zhike", and matchmakers were also called "Fakeren".

In engagement and marriage, the matchmaker is important and indispensable, but fundamentally there must be "the order of the parents".The so-called arranged marriage mainly refers to the monopoly of parents.This point is also deeply and vividly reflected in the book: People use the metaphor of cultivating marijuana first to get the consent of their parents to get a wife. "The Book of Songs·Qi Feng·Nanshan" writes: "How is the house [yiyi] hemp like? It is measured from its mu. How about taking a wife? You must tell your parents." Without the consent of parents, even meeting the person you like is very difficult. difficulty. "The Book of Songs·Zheng Feng·Jiang Zhongzi" describes the painful feelings of a young girl who dare not fall in love with the person she loves because she is afraid of her parents, brothers, and people's words: Qi. How dare you love it? Fear my parents. Zhong can be pregnant, and the words of his parents can also be feared.” It means: Zhongzi Zhongzi, I beg you, don’t step into the inner wall, and don’t step on the branches of the Qi tree. Do I love the Qi tree branches?I am afraid of my parents.Zhongzi, Zhongzi, I miss you, but what my parents say is terrible.This poem deeply reveals the harshness of "the order of parents".

Since the Western Zhou Dynasty, the marriage consciousness of "the order of the parents and the words of the matchmaker" has been deeply immersed in people's souls. Without the consent of the parents and the agreement of the matchmaker, this marriage is illegal and violates ethics. moral.In the Spring and Autumn Period, Duke Huan of Lu was not introduced by a matchmaker to get married in Qi, but was ridiculed by later generations as "indecent" and "extremely ugly".King Min of Qi was killed, and his son Fazhang changed his name and surname, and became a domestic servant of the family of Taishi.Tai Shinu had an affair with Fazhang, and when Fazhang became the queen of Qixiang, she became the queen.Despite this, Taishi still held a grudge, accusing his daughter of not marrying herself through a matchmaker as "not of my kind, polluting my world, and never seeing her again" ("Historical Records Tian Jingzhong's Family").Therefore, in the Warring States period, Mencius concluded: "If you don't wait for the orders of your parents, or the words of a matchmaker, if you peep at each other through the gaps, and follow each other over the wall, your parents and the people of the country will be despised."

In the Zhou Dynasty, the state also set up a special official to manage the marriage of men and women, which is the local official matchmaker. In "Zhou Li", there are regulations on the duties of media officials: "Media is in charge of the judgment of all people." Judgment means "half". "Zhou Li" also stipulates that the scope of the media's performance of duties is: (1) urging a man who has reached the age of 30 and a woman who has reached the age of 20 to marry according to the birth certificate; (2) In the auspicious month of February, organize the marriage of men and women;

(3) Grasp the number of dowry gifts; (4) Prohibition of ghost marriages that do not conform to the etiquette system. After the Spring and Autumn Period, the official system of the media family gradually disappeared and became unknown.