Chapter 11 Section 4 Marriage Customs and Funeral Ceremonies, Ancient Styles Still Exist

Wedding and funeral customs reflect the cultural concept of a nation, and it continues to develop and change with the changes of the times.The wedding customs and funerals in China's feudal era were extremely complicated and full of superstition.Since 1949, the mainland has "changed customs" and has mostly reformed. However, in Taiwan, especially in rural areas, the "old customs still exist" and there has been little change. Similar to the old customs in the Fujian and Guangdong regions, "arranged marriages" were also prevalent in Taiwan in those days. The marriage of a man and a woman was entirely based on the orders of the parents and the words of the matchmaker.Other customs are roughly the same:

No marriage with the same surname: In traditional Chinese marriage customs, marriage with the same surname is not allowed. "Zuo Zhuan" says: "Men and women with the same surname, their births will not be multiplied." Under the old concept of seeking for offspring to multiply and "more children, more blessings" in ancient times, intermarriage with the same surname has naturally become a "taboo".Not only is the marriage of the same surname strictly prohibited among the people in Taiwan, but even the three surnames of "Zhou, Su, Lian", "Chen, Hu, Yao", "Xu, She, Tu", as well as "Xiao, Ye", "Xu, Ke" etc. The two surnames are not intermarried, because they are considered to be born of the same ancestor.

Blind date: The first step in getting married is "blind date", that is, under the arrangement of a matchmaker, let the man and woman peek at each other, and if they are in love, they can get engaged.On the day of the blind date, the matchmaker accompanied the man, his parents, relatives and friends to the woman's home.After sitting down, the woman came out to serve tea to entertain the guests. In an instant, the man and woman "glanced", and the woman returned to the room immediately.Regardless of whether he likes it or not, when the woman comes out to collect the teacup again, the man will put the red envelope into the teacup.If the woman sees a big red envelope, she will know that the man likes it.If the woman also likes it, she will make tea with sesame seeds, red dates, and peanuts to treat guests.The blind date is a success.

Big marriage, small marriage and indoor marriage: These are three different old-style weddings. "Big marriage" means "marriage by a bright matchmaker", which is held according to the traditional Chinese wedding "six rituals"; There are two types; "indoor marriage" is also divided into two types: one is to bring back a young girl with a small amount of bride price, and marry his own son after adulthood, which is called "daughter-in-law" (in mainland China, it is called "child bride").The second is to raise a boy with a small amount of betrothal money, and when he grows up, he will marry his own daughter, or marry a wife from outside, and they are called "bollworms" or "adopted sons".The wedding ceremonies of small marriages and indoor marriages are very simple. For example, the marriage of the "daughter-in-law" is usually held on New Year's Eve. Wedding, the official marriage of husband and wife, this custom is called "Tui Zuo Dui" in Taiwan.

"Big marriage" is much more grand, according to the following five procedures: first, "ask the name", that is, "propose marriage", the men and women exchange Geng posts, ask the fortune teller to see if the two parties are suitable for marriage (Taiwan custom, the age difference between the couple is three age or six years old is a taboo); the second is "delivery", that is, to set a "marriage contract", the man is accompanied by a matchmaker to the woman's home, and gives gifts such as gold and silver jewelry, and the woman returns with gifts; "Big Engagement", the man is accompanied by a matchmaker, and sends the marriage letter and the bride price to the woman's family, and the woman's family hands the book of Kun to the matchmaker, which is considered a formal engagement; the fourth is "application period", that is, to decide the date of marriage, and the matchmaker invites a fortune-teller On the selected auspicious day, the man's family will send the "Book of Greetings" and "Book of Rites" with gifts to the woman's family, and the woman's family will return the gift with a book and clothes; the last thing is "welcome in person", that is, the official "marriage".Taiwanese folk weddings are usually avoided in the months of April, May, June, July, and September.Because the word "four" in April has the same pronunciation as "death"; and the word "five" in May has the same pronunciation as "nothing", you may be infertile if you get married in this month; June is the half of a year, if you get married in this month , known as the "half-year bride", worried that they will not be able to grow old together; July is the "ghost month" in folk customs. If you get married in this month, it is like marrying a "ghost bride"; "Dog" has the same pronunciation, so try to avoid it as much as possible, so as not to be called "dog bride".

On the wedding day, it is roughly the same as the old customs in southern Fujian, but there are also many unique customs: for example, when the bride gets on the sedan chair, the bride's family will pour a bowl of water on the sedan chair to show that the daughter is married like "water poured out", hoping for a happy marriage. There will be things of abandonment; a green bamboo with roots and leaves (commonly known as "stepping green") is tied next to the sedan chair, thinking that the whole family will be happy after the daughter marries into her husband's family, and it means that the bride is a first marriage rather than a remarriage; Hanging a one-meter sieve is said to "avoid evil spirits and bring good fortune"; the bride is not far away from the sedan chair, and the bride throws a folding fan, handkerchief, key, etc., to indicate that she will never return to her natal family; , It is said that in this way, the ominous omen of "happy and happy" can be avoided and so on.

When the sedan chair arrives at the man’s home, there are still many specialties, such as "passing the rice sieve", "stepping on the broken tiles", "passing the brazier", etc. After completing these many "homework", it is time to worship the heaven and earth, enter the bridal chamber, and entertain guests.On the night of candles and candles in the bridal chamber, the bride cannot enter the kitchen to get water for bathing, but a girl must fetch water for her; and choose a boy whose zodiac sign is a dragon or a snake, and roll on the wedding bed, wishing the newlyweds to have a baby early; when going to bed, the groom takes his shoes Put it where the bride can't step on it, and put the clothes on top of the bride's clothes, otherwise it is said that if the bride steps on the shoes or puts the clothes wrongly, the groom will be afraid of his wife all his life.

Guining: The bride returns to her natal home for the first time accompanied by the groom within a few days after her marriage, commonly known as "Guining".On that day, the newlyweds must be greeted by their natal siblings; they must return to the man's home before sunset, so that they can expect to have a boy.Before leaving, the natal family will send a pair of chicks, commonly known as "marrying chickens". It is said that the chickens can lead the way in case the daughter forgets her natal family.In addition, two red sugar cane with roots and leaves will be sent back to the husband's home for planting, so that the descendants will flourish and so on.

Back then, there were so many marriage taboos in Taiwan, so many that people were at a loss for what to do. Every step and link, every gesture, if you are not careful, there is a possibility of violating the taboo.For example, in addition to the many taboos mentioned above, there are also: people who belong to the tiger zodiac should not watch when they are married, because the tiger will hurt people.It is also forbidden for babies, widows or people in mourning to be present, because babies are prone to cry, and it is forbidden to cry at weddings and happy events.Flowers should not be used in weddings, because flowers are easy to wither (except Lianzhaohua and pomegranate flowers, because the red petals of Lianzhaohua bloom from the heart of the leaf, which symbolizes the bride’s sincere treatment of the groom, and pomegranate has always been a symbol of "many children and grandchildren").The clothes worn by the bride should not have pockets, which is said to avoid taking away the property of the natal family.It is also forbidden to use two pieces of cloth to sew together to prevent remarriage.When the bride enters the man's house, it is forbidden to step on the threshold, so as not to offend the "God of Huding" and hinder the prosperity of the family business.Some have to choose a boy to accompany the bridegroom to sleep on the wedding bed on the eve of the wedding, saying that only in this way can they give birth to a boy, otherwise "if you sleep in an empty bed, you will die if you don't die."Also, it is forbidden to use the bride's mirror to look at others within four months of marriage, and it is forbidden to go to the theater within four months of marriage, otherwise the couple will not be harmonious... These taboos are of course superstitions, but they also express people's yearning for a better and happy life.

Taiwan's folk funeral customs are also extremely cumbersome and full of superstition. From dying, funeral, coffining, funeral, funeral, and burial, they are generally similar to the old customs of Fujian and Guangdong, and it is difficult to describe them in detail.The main taboos are: when the patient is critically ill, the patient must be moved to a temporary plank bed set up in the main hall, commonly known as "Yipu". Later, there was a so-called "crying at the head of the road", that is, when the parents died, the daughter had to go home immediately when she heard the news. She drinks or gets a towel to wipe her face to stop.But the family members cry and cry, and avoid tears dripping on the corpse, otherwise it is said that the person will go crazy;When guarding the shop, avoid cats jumping on the corpse. It is said that cats are tigers, which will make the deceased "scared" and hug the living; pregnant women should not touch the coffin, otherwise the fetus will die after birth; those whose zodiac signs are "incompatible" with the deceased must avoid , so as not to offend...

In Taiwan, burials are still prevalent among the people (except in big cities). The choice of cemetery is very particular about "feng shui", and no expense is spared to hire a feng shui master to find the "auspicious place".It is rainy in Taiwan, and the shape of the tomb is similar to that of the Fujian and Guangdong regions. It is mostly built with bricks and stones in a "chair shape", and covered with cement or lime. Taiwan folks also have the custom of "picking bones".Picking up bones, commonly known as "picking up Fengshui", also known as "second burial", that is, the first burial after death is relatively simple and shallow, without cement or lime, and no official tombstone; wait five to seven years Afterwards, the corpse had decomposed, so the cemetery was dug up on an auspicious day, the remains were collected, washed, exposed to the sun, and then put into a bone altar to be buried in an auspicious place. The whole process of "picking up bones" includes breaking ground, picking up bones, washing bones, drying bones, spotting red, spotting gold, sealing altars, etc.The bone altar, also known as the "golden urn", is a special round pottery urn about two feet high and one foot in diameter.Its styles vary according to gender: the pattern for men is "Double Dragons Worshiping Pagodas", the pattern for women is "Shuangfengs Grabbing Pearls", and the lids of the altars are "Shoufu before Blessing".In the southwestern coast of Taiwan, "picking bones" is a specialized industry.Bone pickers who specialize in this industry are commonly known as "earth dolls", and they contract labor and materials. The custom of "picking bones" was originally passed down from the ancestral homeland of Fujian and Guangdong, and it is still preserved in the Hakka settlements in eastern Guangdong.This is related to the immigrant life of the Hakka ancestors in the early years. Because the bones are placed in pottery urns, it is easy to move with the family, and it is easier to send them back to their hometown for burial. a reflection of.However, after it was introduced to Taiwan, this custom changed again and became the custom of "re-burial".That is to say, after the deceased is buried, if the family encounters bad luck, strange things happen again and again, no family and no wealth, business failure, etc., it must be blamed on the "poor geomantic omen" of the cemetery, and another place for burial will be chosen immediately.There is a folk saying that "nine burials and nine relocations, ten burials last ten thousand years", which means that the more re-burials, the better.