Chapter 35 Section 9 Wang Dan's family education

Wang Dan (957-1017 A.D.), a famous minister in the Northern Song Dynasty, was born in Shen County (now Shandong) with the style name Ziming.Emperor Taizong of the Song Dynasty promoted Jinshi during the Taiping Xingguo period. He was deeply influenced by Zhao's family tradition. He not only paid attention to personal moral cultivation, but also paid great attention to the education of family children. He accumulated special family education methods, which were later called Wang Dan's family education methods. Wang Dan's family education method can be summed up in three points.This is to be frugal and simple for officials, to teach children to support themselves; to be kind and lenient, to influence family members with wordless teaching;

In terms of government, Wang Dan is good at knowing people and doing good things.In the Zhenzong Dynasty, he was very popular. He served as the prime minister for 15 years, and he was the first-rank prime minister.He has been in the country for more than 10 years, and it should be said that his family is very rich.However, this old Xiangguo usually wears common clothes and shirts, and eats simple tea and light food. He is frugal and simple, and even ordinary officials feel inferior.His house is very simple, it can only shelter from the wind and rain, and there is no decoration at all. Song Zhenzong once went to his house, saw such a dilapidated house, and planned to repair it for him, but he refused, saying that this was the old house of his ancestors and could not be destroyed. Make Zhenzong shake his head and give up.At the end of his life, he still used old felt mats, old bed quilts, and coarse quilts on his bed. His family wanted to decorate with cotton, but he firmly refused.Under his influence, the family's clothing and food were also very simple. On the day of his death, some of his children still wore brown clothes.He is a clean and honest official, and most of his salary is used to help relatives and friends, so he never considers buying land and houses for his descendants.He educated his children and grandchildren, saying: "The children and grandchildren should stand on their own, why bother with fields and houses, and it is unjust to fight for wealth."He did this to prevent his descendants from developing arrogance, extravagance and bad habits.Once, Zhenzong secretly paid 50 taels of platinum [Lai Lai], intending to help Wang Dan's family. However, he expressed his thanks and said: "I am afraid of hiding too much, and it is useless." Table, moved to tears.

In terms of family management and parenting, Wang Dan never put on an air of domineering, giving orders or bossing around, but always in harmony. Even if his family members and children made mistakes, he would not say a word, but let them understand the wrong facts and make them Knowing the mistakes can only be corrected, so the family and children have never seen him angry.Once, his son told him that half of the meat in the kitchen had been used privately by the chef, and asked him to cure the chef.Wang Dan asked calmly: "How many catties of meat do you think there are?" The disciples said, "Half of a catty of meat was used privately by the chef, so we are not full of meat." Wang Dan told them: "So, in the future, I will buy a catty Halfway." After saying that, he went back to the study as if nothing had happened.Knowing this, the chef said shamelessly: "The villain is not sensible. The prime minister can put a boat in his belly. This is true."

Every winter solstice, every family has to offer sacrifices to their ancestors.Wang Dan is extremely filial and an important minister of the court, so naturally he must abide by this etiquette.On the winter solstice of one year, Wang Dan failed to return home on time due to government affairs.He had a younger brother who was arrogant and ignorant. He complained that his elder brother was late to come home to officiate. In a fit of anger, he broke all the altars and jars in front of the hall that contained sacrificial objects, and spilled wine and vegetables all over the floor.The family and children were very panicked and at a loss, thinking that no matter how generous Wang Dan was, he would get angry.Unexpectedly, after Wang Dan returned home, he saw that he could not walk on the ground, and pretended that nothing happened. He didn't even look at his younger brother, and just walked into the hall with his skirts in his hands.The younger brother was deeply moved by his elder brother's generosity, and quickly knelt down and blamed himself, and since then he has changed his ways to do good, but Wang Dan neither blamed nor mentioned this matter.This kind of silent teaching, giving the younger brother who has made mistakes the opportunity to reflect on and admit his mistakes, has indeed received better results.

Since Wang Dan was busy with government affairs, he had to hand over the housework to his younger brother Wang Xu.Once, the younger brother saw that other ministers were wearing jade belts around their waists. In order to honor his elder brother, he bought a jade belt for his elder brother without permission.Wang Dan knew his younger brother's intentions, so he didn't criticize his younger brother for not paying attention to frugality, but gently asked his younger brother to tie the jade belt around his waist, and then asked, "Can you still see the beautiful jade belt?" How can I see my waist?" Wang Dan smiled humorously and said, "It's nothing to be proud of yourself!" The younger brother was very ashamed and immediately took the jade belt back.This teaching method of persuading people to correct their mistakes is very intriguing.

Before he died, Wang Dan still did not forget to teach his children to be frugal.He wrote the will and warned his son: "My family is famous for its integrity, so we should be frugal, conservative, and not extravagant. Don't be buried richly and put gold and treasures in the coffin." To do what he said, he called his good friend Yang Su and asked him to take care of the funeral in the future and dispose of his body by cremation, so as to prevent his children from being bound by customs and wasting money meaninglessly. After Wang Dan's death, his children built a tombstone for him, and Song Renzong wrote the inscription: "The Stele of the Veterans of Quande" to praise his virtue.