Chapter 2 Weird scientific phenomenon Personal self-interest

Weird scientific phenomena for personal gain (1) Two Elizabethans passing the time somewhere, with little discernible character traits.Both of them were well dressed and each had a leather purse.Guilderstern's purse was almost empty, Rosencrantz's was almost full.Here's why: they're playing coin flips.Here's how: Guilderstern takes a coin from his purse, tosses it in the air, Rosencrantz catches it, looks at it, declares it "head" (up) (and it does), Then put it in your own purse.And then repeat the process.Apparently they've been playing like this for a while.It is impossible for every coin tossed to be a "head", but there is no trace of surprise in Rosencrantz - he is not surprised at all.He's not bad, though, and he'd feel a little embarrassed about taking so much money from his friend.Consider this a characteristic of his character.Guilderstern was well aware of the oddity of this.He doesn't worry about the money, but he worries about the implications of losing money; he's aware of it but doesn't panic about it—it's a trait of his character.Guilderstern continued to toss the coin, and Rosencrantz continued to look at it carefully.

Rosencrantz head. (He puts the money in the purse. The process repeats) Head. (again) head. (again) head. (again) head. Guilderstern's (twirling a coin) build-up of suspense is artful. Rosencrantz head. Guilderstern (tossing another coin) can do it though luck alone. Rosencrantz head. Guilderstern, if "luck" is the word for me. Rosencrantz (looks up at Guilderstern) Seventy-six to zero. (Guilderstern stands up, but has nowhere to go. He tosses a coin behind him without looking at it. He becomes aware of his surroundings, or the emptiness of it.) Head. Guilderstern, a man of lesser willpower, might have re-examined his beliefs, if anything else, at least in the laws of probability. (He goes backstage to look, throwing another coin behind him at the same time)

Rosencrantz head. (Guilderstern examines the perimeter of the stage while throwing two more coins behind him, one after the other, of course. Rosencrantz announces that both are "heads") GUILDESTERN (contemplation) It has been strangely asserted that the laws of probability have to do with the assumption that if six monkeys -- (suddenly I feel strange) if six monkeys were... Rosencrantz play? Guilderstern They? Rosencrantz you? Guilderstern (gets it) play. (twisting a coin) The law of averages, if I'm not mistaken, means that if six monkeys are thrown in the air long enough, they're as likely to land on their tails as they are to...  

Rosencrantz head. (picks up coins) Guilderstern does not seem particularly satisfying at first glance, even without the monkeys.I mean you wouldn't bet on it.I mean I would, but you wouldn't... (tosses a coin while speaking) Rosencrantz head. Guilderstern, will you? (tosses another coin) Rosencrantz head. (repeat) head. (He looks up at Guilderstern--laughs sheepishly) Kind of annoying, isn't it? GUIL (coldly): Annoyed? Rosencrantz hmm... Guilderstern So suspenseful? Rosencrantz (naively) What suspense? (A brief pause.) Guilderstern must be the law of diminishing returns - I feel like the old spell of losing me is about to be broken. (He cheers up a little. He takes out a coin, tosses it high, catches it, turns it over on the back of his other hand, examines it--throws it to Rosencrantz, deflatedly Sit down) Well, chances are equal -- if my calculations are right.

Rosencrantz did it eighty-five times in a row -- a record! Don't be ridiculous, Guilderstern. Rosencrantz is so easy! GUIL (angrily) That's it?That's all right? Rosencrantz what? Guilderstern a new record?Are you ready to call it a day? Rosencrantz uh... Guilderstern has no doubts?Not even stopping to think about it? [Rosencrantz you threw it yourself. Guilderstern had no doubts at all? ROSENCRANZ (a bit aggrieved, confidently) I won - didn't I? GUIL (going towards him--calmerly) What if you lose?What if the coins were all against you, one after the other, eighty-five times, just like before?

Rosencrantz (dumbly) Eighty-five in a row?tail? Guilderstern is right!what would you think Rosencrantz (uncertain) Uh... (cheerfully) Well, I'll take a good look at your coin first! GUIL (relaxed) I'm relieved.At least we still count on personal self-interest, which is a predictable factor.I think this is the last thing.Your credibility makes me think, maybe - you, a human being - (turns suddenly to him, holds out a hand) for a handshake. (Rosencrantz grabs his hand. Guilderstern jerks him towards him. More fervently) We've been throwing coins--(He lets him go with the same jerk) This isn't our first Toss coins at once!

Rosencrantz Oh, no -- I remember we threw it for a long time. How long is Guilderstern? Rosencrantz I forgot.Hi - eighty-five times! Is it Guilderstern? ] Rosencrantz It's not easy for me to beat this record. Guilderstern, do you really think so?that's it?no fear? Rosencrantz fear? GUIL (furious--throws a coin on the ground) Horror! [This sound may open your mind! ] ROSENCRANZ HEAD... (He puts the coin in the purse. Guilderstern sits down despondently. He takes out a coin and throws it in the air so that it lands between his feet. He looks , picked it up, and threw it to Rosencrantz, who pocketed it. Guilderstern took another coin, threw it out, caught it, flipped it over in the other hand, and watched After looking at it, he threw it to Rosencrantz, who put it in his pocket. Guilderstern took out a third coin, threw it out, caught it with his right hand, flipped it on his left wrist, and then put it on his left wrist. The coin shook into the air, caught it with his left hand, lifted his left leg, threw the coin under his leg, caught it, turned it over and put it on his head, and did not move the coin this time. Rosencrantz came over and looked glance, and put it in his purse) I'm afraid--

Guilderstern me too. Rosencrantz I'm afraid today is not a good day for you. Guilder Stern I fear today is. Weird scientific phenomena for personal gain (2) (A brief pause.) Rosencrantz eighty-nine times. Guilderstern There must be something more to this than a redistribution of wealth. (Contemplating) Possible explanations are, one, I want it to happen.Beneath the surface, my essence is that of a coin tossing double-sided heads, losing myself in a bet, and secretly atoning for a long-forgotten past. (He throws a coin at Rosencrantz) Rosencrantz head. Guilderstern II, time has stopped, dead, the process of tossing a coin repeated ninety times... (He tosses a coin, looks at it, and throws it to Rosencrantz) Overall To say the least, this is doubtful.Third, the intervention of the gods.That is to say, God’s blessing covers him, please refer to: the children of Israel; or God’s punishment follows me, please refer to: Lot’s wife①.Four, is an excellent proof of the principle that every single coin in a single number of tosses - (he throws one) is as likely to land heads as tails, so It should come as no surprise that it comes up heads on every single flip. (Indeed it is heads up. He tosses the coin to Rosencrantz)

①A character in the Christian Bible story. When Lot led his wife and daughter to flee the city of Sodom, which was about to be destroyed, Lot’s wife ignored the warning and turned back to visit, and immediately became a pillar of salt——Annotation.Rosencrantz I never knew these things! Guilderstern has another syllogism: One, he never knew these things.Two, he never knew what to say when he wrote home.Three, nothing to write home about... Home... What's the first thing you remember? Rosencrantz Oh, let me see - you mean the one that got into my head first? Guilderstein no - you remember first.

Rosencrantz ah. (Pause) No, no, it's gone.It was a long time ago. GUIL (patiently but angrily) You don't understand me.What's the first thing you remember after forgetting everything? Rosencrantz Oh, I see. (pause) I forgot what your question was. GUIL (jumps up and starts pacing) Are you happy? Rosencrantz what? Is Guilderstern satisfied?easy? Rosencrantz I think so. Guilderstern What do you want to do now? Rosencrantz I don't know.what you up to? Guilderstern I don't want anything.not at all. (he stops pacing, freezes) There's a messenger--right.We were called by someone else. (He turns abruptly to Rosencrantz, sharply) Second syllogism: One, probability is a factor at work in the forces of nature.Two, probability is not operating as a factor now.Three, we are now in unnatural, subnatural or supernatural forces.Let's discuss. (Rosencrantz is appropriately stunned. Bitterly) Don't get too enthusiastic.

Rosencrantz I'm sorry, what's wrong with you? Guilderstern's scientific approach to examining phenomena is a resistance to the pure emotion of fear.Take advantage of it, and continue while you have time.Now -- the opposite of the previous syllogism: hard to grasp, listen carefully, but it can also be comforting.If we assume, as we have just done, that in unnatural, subnatural, or supernatural forces there is such a probability that the laws of probability will not operate as a factor, then we must accept that the first part of the probability does not Operates as a factor, in which case the law of probability will operate as a factor in unnatural, subnatural or supernatural forces.Of course since it obviously has not been working that way, we can say that we are not inside unnatural, subnatural or supernatural forces after all.In all likelihood, it is.This is a great relief for me personally. (short pause) That would be very good, if it weren't for--(he tries to control his hysteria, continues) [don't know when we've been tossing coins, all the time we've been tossing coins (if all the time words), I think the two of us are nothing more than a pair of gold nuggets tossed around.I hope this doesn't sound surprising, because its unsurprisingness is what I want to grasp.Your average coin tosser keeps his peace of mind by a law, or a tendency, or a probability, or at any rate a mathematical chance that he won't Doesn't make himself sad for losing too much, and doesn't make his opponent sad for always winning.This can bring a kind of harmony, a kind of self-confidence.It merges probabilities and certainties into a reassuring union we call natural.In the long run, the sun rises as many times as it sets, and a coin lands about as many times as heads as it tails.Then] a messenger arrives.We were called by someone else.Nothing else happened.Ninety-two coins tossed in a row and ninety-two coins landed heads up...and in the last three minutes I heard the sound of drums and flutes through the wind on a calm day... Rosencrantz (cutting nails) Another strange scientific phenomenon is that nails grow after death, and so do beards. Guilderstern what? ROSENCRANZ (loudly) Beard! Guilderstein, but you're not dead. ROSENCRANZ (annoyed) And I didn't say they grow after death! (Pauses, calms down) Fingernails grow before birth, but beards don't. Guilderstern what? Rosencrantz (shouting) Mustache!what's wrong with you? (Thinking) But on the other hand, the toenails never grow. ①② Rosencrantz and Guilder Stern said "on the other hand".The pun here can mean "on the other hand" or literally "on the other hand".This kind of word play is common in this play, which creates a comic effect and also shows that speech can be easily misunderstood--Annotation.Guilderstern (perplexed) The toenails on the other hand never grow? Will Rosencrantz?This is so funny - I cut my nails all the time and every time I feel like doing it, it's time for them to be cut.Let's say right now.But as far as I know, I've never clipped my toenails.They should have grown to curl up under my feet by now, but they didn't.I never thought about them.Maybe I cut them when I was absent-minded, when I was thinking about something else. GUIL (nervous with this babbling) Do you remember the first thing that happened today? Rosencrantz (immediately) I think I woke up. (Suddenly remembered) Oh - I see - that man, a foreigner, woke us up - Guilderstern a messenger. (he sits down relaxed) Rosencrantz was right—a man stood on a saddle and knocked on the shutters in the white before dawn—screaming—what's the noise?go away! --but then he called our names.Do you remember -- this man woke us up. Guilderstern is right. Rosencrantz We were called by someone else. Guilderstern is right. Rosencrantz That's why we're here. (He looks around, looks puzzled, then explains) On the go. [Guilder Stern is right. Weird scientific phenomena for personal gain (3) Rosencrantz (exaggeratedly) This matter is very urgent - very urgent, the king's decree, that's what he said: official business, don't ask about it - light the stables, mount the horses, and set off immediately, we will fight Desperately rushing to perform official duties, even our guides are left behind us!I'm afraid we are late! ! (A brief pause.) Why is Guilderstern so late? Rosencrantz How do I know?We are not there yet. GUIL So what are we doing here, I asked myself. Rosencrantz You can ask that. GUIL: We'd better go on. Rosencrantz You may think so. GUIL: We'd better go on. Rosencrantz (positively) Yes! (pause) Where? Guilderstern stepped forward. ROSENCRANZ (moving forward to the footlights of the stage) Oh. (hesitating) Which way shall we go—(He turns around) Which way shall we go—? ] Guilderstern actually had to start from scratch.To be woken up, to stand alone in the saddle and tap on the shutters, to have our names called early in the morning, a message, an order - a coin toss set a new record.We are - picked - not just outcasts - left to find our way.We should have a direction to go - I should have thought so. ROSENCRANZ (alert, listening) I say--!I say-- Guilderstern what? ROSENCRANZ I can hear--I think I just heard--music. GUIL (stands up) Really? Rosencrantz seems like a band. (He looks around, laughs awkwardly, steps himself up) Sounds--like a band.There are drums. Guilderstern Yes. Rosencrantz (relaxes) It can't be true. Guilder Stern "Red, blue, and green are real colors. Yellow is a mystical experience shared by all" - Overthrow. Rosencrantz (on the edge of the stage) was definitely thundering.like a drum... (The band is faintly audible before Guilderstern finishes speaking below.) A man in Guilderstern, halfway on his journey from one place to another, came to a third place with no name, no character, no people and no meaning, and saw a unicorn cross the road ahead of him ,Disappeared.Strange in itself, but we have no shortage of mystical encounters of all sorts, or, to put it less extreme, we choose to convince ourselves that it is hallucination; until--"My God ',' said the second, 'I must be dreaming, I think I saw a unicorn.The third eyewitness, you know, doesn't intensify the nature of the thing, it just dilutes it, and the fourth makes it more dilute, and the more witnesses it makes, the more dilute it becomes, the more logically, until it's Like reality, ordinary experiences we call reality... "Look, look!" people cried, "A horse with an arrow in its brow! Others must have taken it for a stag."① ① This is the "principle of diminishing returns" mentioned earlier.ROSENCRANZ (eagerly) I knew it was a band. GUIL (wearily) He already knew it was a band. Rosencrantz Here they come! Guilderstern (at the last moment before they come in - wistfully) Too bad it's not a unicorn.If only there were unicorns. (There were six Tragic actors, including a little boy, Alfred. The two pushed and pulled a cart full of props and objects. There was also a drummer, a trumpeter, and a flute player. Talk The man—the "player"—has no instrument. He is the last in the line, but the first to spot them.) Players stop! (The team turns around and stops. Cheerfully) There's an audience! (Rosencrantz and GUIL stand up halfway) Hold still! (They sit down again. He looks at them happily) Great!How lucky. [Rosencrantz, are we lucky? The actor hopes so.But two gentlemen on the way--we don't want them on the ramp. Is it Rosencrantz? It's really a coincidence that the actor met, it's just right not too early or too late. ] Rosencrantz why? You see, players, we haven't practiced for a long time, we're a lot rusty, and we're on the verge of being completely deserted, and here you come—by this time tomorrow we'll probably have forgotten everything we know.That's true, isn't it? (He laughs heartily) We'll go back to where we started - improv. Rosencrantz Are you juggling? Player We can juggle for you, if that's your taste, which is the time.Or else, at the tinkling of a coin, we can show you a blood-flesh saga, with beautiful rhythms and corpses, all from the Italians; Ringing - even a coin has music in it. (They all gesticulate and bow jaggedly.) The tragedies are at your command. (Rosencrantz and GUIL stand up.) Rosencrantz My name is Guilder Stern and his name is Rosencrantz. (GUILERSTERN says something to him briefly. Without embarrassment) Excuse me—his name is GUILDESTERN, I'm Rosencrantz. Weird scientific phenomena for personal gain (4) The actor is very honored.Of course, we've played bigger characters, but quality is what counts.I recognized you all just now-- Rosencrantz What are we? Entertainers - you are also entertainers. Rosencrantz I thought we were gentlemen. Actors are performances to some of us, patronage to others.They are actually two sides of the same coin, or one could say, because of our numbers, they are the same side of two coins. (bow again) Rosencrantz What play are you in? Tragic actor, sir.Deaths and revelations, commons and particulars, unexpected but inescapable endings, layers, absurd melodramas, even the whimsical ones.We take you into a world of intrigue and fantasy - clowns, murderers if you like - we can show you ghosts and skirmishes, heroes, villains, tortured couples - poetic we could do swordfights or rapes, or both, and, of course, unfaithful wives, humiliated virgins—flagrantedelico, that pays a good price, but it belongs to realism category, and has technical terminology.I'm slowly getting into shape, aren't I? ①Latin, meaning "catch at the scene"--annotation.ROS (suspiciously) Oh, I don't know... Actors don't cost much to look at, and if you happen to be in a play it doesn't cost much more, if that's your taste, and that's the way it is these days. How about Rosencrantz? The actor is indifferent. Rosencrantz is bad? Players are evil.So what exactly do you like? (He turns to the tragedians) Gentlemen, come and have some fun. (Tragedy actors stand in a certain formation) Look!is there anything you like Rosencrantz (incredulously, naively) What are they going to do? Actors, let your imagination run wild.They will surprise you. How much is Rosencrantz? Actor acting? Rosencrantz at the play. What does the actor look at? Rosencrantz private showing. How personal is the actor? Rosencrantz Oh, just the two of us.Is it enough? As an audience, actors are disappointing.Voyeurism, almost. What is the difference between Rosencrantz? The actor has five shields.ROSENCRANZ (horrified) Five shields! The actor looks at it once. [Rosencrantz together? Every actor.I don't think you quite understand-- Rosencrantz what are you talking about? PLAYER I'm talking--four. Rosencrantz Where are you thinking? ① Rosencrantz said "Where have youbeen?", which literally means "Where have you been?" This is what the actor understands below, but according to the context, it seems that Rosencrantz meant to question the actor -- Annotation.The actor has been to some places around.A bunch of kids bring the style to town.Young companions, the most popular.But they can't compare to our repertoire - we can do anything you like... (He looks at Rosencrantz meaningfully, but Rosencrantz looks at him blankly.) Rosencrantz They will grow up. The player (abandoned) a new life is born every minute. (to the tragedies) Go on! (The tragedies begin to pack up and continue their journey. Guilderstern finally moves.)] Guilderstern, where are you going? (They turn around.) The player comes home, sir. Where are you from, Guilderstern? The player comes from home.We are people on the go.Wherever there is an opportunity, we seize it. Guilderstern So this is your chance? Player chance? Guilderstern, you found us. Player Oh, yes. Guilderstern are you looking for?Player Oh, no. Guilderstern Well this is the chance. The actor or fate. Guilderstern Yours or ours? No one can do without actors. Guilderstern is destiny then. Player Oh, yes.We can't control it.We'll play at the palace tonight, or tomorrow night.Or give a tavern gig.Or not act. Guilderstern Maybe I can use my influence. The player in the tavern? Guilderstern was at the palace.I have to say I do have some influence. Are you an actor? In ①②, the pun of yet is used, which can refer to "now still" or a turning point--Annotation.Guilderstern I am still influential up to now. What is an actor? Weird scientific phenomena for personal gain (5) GUIL (grabbing the player violently) I have influence! (The player makes no resistance. GUIL releases him. Be calm.) What were you talking about - playing a part in a play? Actor (happily) That's right! --Yes! --Your reflexes are much quicker than your friends--(quietly) I happen to have a private, unabridged performance, "The Humiliation of the Women of Saibin," for a few shields--or It's a woman, or Alfred's humiliation--(turns head)Put on the skirt, Alfred--(the boy begins to struggle into a lady's gown) Eight shields and you'll be in the show--( Guilderstern steps back, the actor follows) either role (Guilderstern steps back) or both for ten shields. (Guilderstern tries to move away, player grabs him by the sleeve) Extra-(Guilderstern slaps the player. The player staggers back. Guilderstern stands trembling .without complaint, calmly) take off the skirt, Alfred... (Alfred struggles out of his half-dress.) GUIL (shuddering with rage and fear) This character could have been--it doesn't have to be obscene--could have been--a bright-feathered drop-bird on my shoulder.Could be a tongueless dwarf giving directions by the side of the road - I'm prepared.But it's this kind of role, huh! No mystery, no dignity, no classical connotations, nothing foreshadowing the future, just - a ridiculous sex dealer, and a bunch of whores... PLAYER (waves his hat, accepts his scolding, bows; sadly) You should have met us at a better time.We were all Puritans then. (straightens up) Go on. (The actors prepare to leave.) ROSENCRANZ (his voice changes: he understands) Excuse me! Actor stop - down! (they stop) Al-fr-ray-d! (Alfred struggles again. The Player steps forward.) Rosencrantz said, you guys don't -- uh -- just act and do nothing else? Actors We do everything but play, sir. Rosencrantz says you - on display? An actor's show, sir. Rosencrantz Yes, of course.More money that way, right? More business for entertainers, sir. Such is the era of Rosencrantz. Player Yes. Rosencrantz was very indifferent. The actor is exactly like that. Rosencrantz, you know I don't understand-- actor to-- Rosencrantz I mean, I've heard -- but I've never really -- The actor is right. Rosencrantz I mean, what exactly do you guys do? As actors, we generally perform our specialties, sometimes adding some, sometimes subtracting some, but we are very familiar with it.We act out on stage what happens off the stage.There is still some integrity, as long as you treat each exit as an entry elsewhere. ROSENCRANZ (fidgety, loudly) Actually I'm not that--no, but you don't hurry--sit down and tell us what people tell you to-- The actor (turns around) Go--go! Rosencrantz Wait a minute! (they turn and look at him blankly) Ah, well - I don't mind looking - just to get a sense of - (bravely) What can you do about this? (throws a coin on the ground between them) (The player spits on the coin from where he stands. The players protest and want to take the coin. He sends them back with clapping and kicking.) The actor moves on! (Alfred is half in his robe. The Player pats him. To Alfred) What are you doing? Rosencrantz (indignantly) Dirty!Disgusting - I want to report to the police - perverted!I now know the game you play, it's all filth! (The mummers prepare to leave. GUIL remains aloof.) Guilderstern (casually) Do you want to take a gamble? (The actors turn around, looking very interested. The actors move forward.) What do you want to bet, actor? (Guilderstern walks towards the player, stops halfway there, and puts his foot on the coin.) Guilderstern doubles or doesn't play. The actor, uh... the head. (Guilderstern moves his foot away. The player bends down. The players gather around. Relief. Congratulations. The player picks up the coin. Guilderstern throws him another.) Guilderstern again? (Some actors agree, some object. The players nod and throw out coins.) Head. (Exactly. He picks it up) Come again. (Guild Stern throws a coin) actor head. (Yes. The player picks up the coin. He now has two coins. He throws one) Guilder Stern head. (Yes. Guilderstern picks it up. Throws it out right away) The actor (hesitating for a moment) tails. (But upside down. Guilderstern picks it up. The player throws his last one down to pay the debt, and turns away. Guilderstern doesn't pick it up; puts his foot on it.) Guilder Stern head. The actor is not! (Pause. Mummers object. Sorry) They don't like the odds much. GUIL (takes his feet off and squats down; picks up the coins and still squats; raises his head) You're right—head. (Throws a coin, slaps it on the ground with his hands) I win. Actors do not. GUIL (looks away at the coin) is right again. (Again) Head I win. Actors do not. GUIL (looks away at the coin) is right again. (Again) Head I win. No actor! (He turns away and the mummers follow him. GUIL gets up and approaches.) Guilderstern, do you believe it? (Stands back, relaxes, smiles) Bet me double was an odd number the year I was born. Your birth, actor--! Weird scientific phenomena for personal gain (6) Guilderstern Don't bet me if you don't believe me. Do you believe me, actor? Guilderstern bet on me then. Player My year of birth? Guilderstern odd you win. PLAYER Are you--? (The actors approach, very sober.) Good job Guilderstern.The year you were born.double.Even number I win.Odd number I lose. (Silence. The mummers sigh heavily, realizing that any number doubled is even. Then they begin to protest, violently. Then there is an eerie silence.) PLAYER We have no money. GUIL (turning to him) Oh.So what do you have? (The player does not speak, and brings Alfred up. GUIL looks at Alfred sadly) This is it? PLAYER This is our best. GUIL (looks up, then looks around) So that's a little out of the world. (The player tries to speak and protests, but Guilderstern looks at him fiercely) The air here stinks. (The player steps back. GUIL comes forward to the footlights and turns.) Come here, Alfred. (Alfred comes up and stands, very frightened and very weak. Gentlely) Do you lose often? Alfred Yes sir. GUIL So what have you left to lose? Alfred has nothing, sir. (Pause. Guilderstern studies him.) GUIL: Do you like--to be an actor? Alfred No, sir. GUIL (looking around at the audience) You and I, Alfred, we can set a dramatic precedent here. (Alfred, who is on the verge of tears, starts to sniff) Come on, come on, Alfred, it's not okay to go to a theater in Europe like this. (The PLAYER has come up and begins to complain about Alfred, and GUIL interrupts him again. Viciously) Do you know any good plays? The actor's script? ROSENCRANZ (steps forward, hesitantly, embarrassed) Exhibiting... GUIL: I thought you said you were actors. Actor (suddenly realizes) Oh, oh, yes, we are, we are actors.But no one ever invited-- Guilderstern you lost.So good - how about some Greek?Are you familiar with the tragedies of these ancients?The great slaying classic?Killing mother, killing father, killing brother, killing sister, killing wife, and of course—suicide—huh?Girls worship gods? Rosencrantz can do it the other way round-- Guilderstern That's your thing, isn't it? PLAYER Oh no, I can't really say we're like that.We lean more towards the school of blood, love and rhetoric. Guilderstern Well, I'll let you choose, if there's any choice between the two. Actors They are actually hard to separate, sir - I can show you blood and love without rhetoric, or blood and rhetoric without love, or all three at the same time or in succession, but I can't give you Show love and rhetoric without blood.Blood is required -- you know, it's all bloody. Guilderstern Is that what people want to see? Actors That's what we do. (short pause. turns and walks away) (Guilderstern touches Alfred on the shoulder.) GUIL (squinting, mildly) Thank you; we'll let you know. (The player goes backstage. Alfred follows.) THE PLAYERS (talking to the players, who are driving away in their carriages and have taken down all the props) The entrance is there and there. (referring to the background) (The player has not moved. He is motionless. Guilderstern waits.) GUIL: Hey -- won't you change into your costume? I never changed the player, sir. Guilderstern has always been in character. The actor is right. (pause.) GUIL: Won't you -- come play? I'm playing an actor. 吉尔德斯特恩可如果你在演了，你不能"来"演。isn't it? 伶人我开始演。 吉尔德斯特恩可演出并未开始呀。来吧，我们帮你看着。 伶人我会向你挥手的。 奇怪的科学现象个人私利（7） (他没有动。他的一动不动现在看来很扎眼，而且有些尴尬了。停顿。罗森克兰茨朝他走过去，两人面对面。) 罗森克兰茨对不起。(停顿。伶人移开他在前台的脚。它踩着吉尔德斯特恩的钱币。罗森克兰茨把他的脚踩在钱币上面。微笑)谢谢你。 (伶人转身走了。罗森克兰茨弯腰去捡钱币。) 吉尔德斯特恩(向外走)走吧。 罗森克兰茨我说--运气可真不错。 吉尔德斯特恩(转过身)什么？ 罗森克兰茨是尾朝上。 (他把钱币扔给吉尔德斯特恩，后者接住。与此同时--灯光变化，足以让室外的场景转变为室内场景，但这个变化并不突兀。奥菲莉娅提着裙子，面带惊恐地跑了过来--后面跟着哈姆雷特。奥菲莉娅先前在缝衣服，手里拿着衣裳。他们都没说话。哈姆雷特的上衣全解开了，头上也没戴帽子，他的袜子污秽不堪，袜带松开，一直褪到了脚踝。而他的脚踝也如他的衬衣一般苍白，两个膝盖向外翻--而且他的表情是如此可怜，他抓住她的手腕，紧紧搂着她，然后松开，退后到一臂远的地方，另一只手搭在眉上，开始非常专注地审视她的脸，好像他要把这张脸画出来……最后，他的手臂轻微颤抖着，头上下摆动三次，发出了一声如此悲怜和沉重的叹息，仿佛它会击碎他的身体，结束他的生命。接着他放开了她，转过身，头扭过来，往后走去，眼睛不曾离开她一刻--她却往相反的方向跑去。罗森克兰茨和吉尔德斯特恩凝结不动。吉尔德斯特恩首先解冻。他向罗森克兰茨冲过去。) 吉尔德斯特恩走吧！ (但这时随着一阵喇叭奏花腔，克劳迪亚斯和格特鲁德带着随从进来了。) 克劳迪亚斯欢迎你，亲爱的罗森克兰茨……(罗森克兰茨向他鞠躬时他向吉尔德斯特恩抬手致意--吉尔德斯特恩匆忙地跟着鞠躬)还有吉尔德斯特恩。(吉尔德斯特恩向他鞠躬时他又向罗森克兰茨抬一抬手--罗森克兰茨还正在从前一次鞠躬中直起身来，结果只直了一半又鞠躬了。头低下去时他扭头看看正抬起身来的吉尔德斯特恩)这次匆匆召请你们两位，一方面是我们非常想见你们，一方面也是因为我们有需要你们帮忙的地方。 (罗森克兰茨和吉尔德斯特恩还在因为克劳迪亚斯的出现而在整理衣衫。) 你们已经听说过哈姆雷特的剧变，我称之为剧变，是因为无论在外表还是内在，他都和以前大不相同。除了他父亲的死之外，究竟是什么使他变成了另外一个人，我实在无从知晓。你们二位从小与他一起长大，对他的脾气行为颇为了解。所以我特地请你们来我们宫里盘桓几天，陪陪他，让他开开心，同时有机会调查一下他有什么不为人知的心事让他烦恼成这样，或许我们知道后，可以替他解忧。 格特鲁德善良的(非常短暂的停顿)绅士们…… (二人鞠躬。) 他常常谈起你们两位，而且我相信这世上没有哪两个人比你们更让他亲信了。如果你们愿意展现你们的绅士风度和善良之心，在我们这里稍作逗留，以达成我们的希望，那么你们的光临一定会受到王室的隆重礼谢的。 罗森克兰茨两位陛下拥有对我们至高的王权，两位陛下有什么旨意，尽管吩咐我们，请求二字实在不敢担当。 吉尔德斯特恩我们愿意完全鞠躬尽瘁，效忠陛下，尽力奉行陛下的旨意。 克劳迪亚斯谢谢你们，罗森克兰茨(转向罗森克兰茨，后者措手不及，而吉尔德斯特恩则鞠躬)和善良的吉尔德斯特恩(转向尚在深鞠躬的吉尔德斯特恩)。 格特鲁德(纠正他)谢谢你们，吉尔德斯特恩(转向罗森克兰茨，后者鞠躬，而本想站直的吉尔德斯特恩又躬身下去。二人皆深鞠躬，相互挤挤眼睛)和善良的罗森克兰茨(转向吉尔德斯特恩，二人正在直起身来--吉尔德斯特恩又躬身下去)，现在我就要请你们立刻去看看我那大大变样的儿子。来人，领这两位绅士到哈姆雷特住的地方去。 (两位侍从往后退去，示意罗森克兰茨和吉尔德斯特恩随他们而去。) 吉尔德斯特恩上天福佑，愿我们的到来和努力让他开怀，助他恢复常态。 格特鲁德阿门！ (罗森克兰茨和吉尔德斯特恩朝前台一侧翼走去，在他们到那之前，波罗涅斯上。他们停步向他鞠躬。他点头，疾步走向后台的克劳迪亚斯。他们转过来看着他。) 波罗涅斯禀陛下，我们派往挪威的钦使，已喜气洋洋地回来了。 克劳迪亚斯你总是能给我们带来好消息。 波罗涅斯真的吗，陛下？陛下请放心，我把我对我的上帝和仁宽德厚的国王的责任看得跟我的灵魂一样重要呢。除非我的脑子坏了，不会像以前那样正常运转了，那么我想，我已发现了哈姆雷特发病的原因…… (退下--只剩下罗森克兰茨和吉尔德斯特恩。) 罗森克兰茨我想回家。 吉尔德斯特恩别让他们把你搞糊涂了。 罗森克兰茨我不适合在这地方呆-- 吉尔德斯特恩我们很快就会回老家，乐哈哈--咿呀呀，呜呼呼①--我会-- ①原文为"Wellsoonbehomeandhighdryandhome"，下面反复出现"home"、"high"和"dry"这三个词的任意组合，其中"homeanddry"有"达到目的、大功告成"的意思；"highanddry"有"陷于困境，孤立无援"之意。吉尔德斯特恩本为安慰鼓气的话，无意中成了预示他们命运的谶语--译注。罗森克兰茨这一切我都搞不懂-- 吉尔德斯特恩--我会速速送你回老家，乐哈哈--