Chapter 20 after death

I dreamed that I was dying on the road. Where is this, how did I get here, how did I die, I don't understand any of these things.In short, when I knew I was dead, I was already dead there. A few magpies were heard, followed by a burst of crows.The air was crisp,—albeit somewhat earthy,—about dawn.I wanted to open my eyes, but he didn't move at all, it didn't look like my eyes; so I wanted to raise my hand, and it was the same. A dreadful sharp arrow suddenly pierced my heart.When I was alive, I once jokingly imagined: If a person’s death is just the abolition of motor nerves, but the consciousness is still there, it will be more terrible than death.Who knew that my prediction was actually right, I was confirming this prediction myself.

If you hear footsteps, walk.A wheelbarrow was pushed past my head, it was probably heavy-duty, it made annoying noises, and I had some teeth [cough teeth].I really feel that my eyes are blushing, the sun must be coming up.Well, my face is facing east.But that doesn't matter.The sound of voices is so lively.They kicked up the loess and flew into my nostrils, making me want to sneeze, but in the end I didn't sneeze, only the desire to sneeze. There were footsteps again and again, and they all stopped when they got close, and there were more whispers: more people were watching.I suddenly wanted to hear what they had to say.But at the same time, I thought that the criticisms I said during my life were not worth laughing at, and they were probably against my will: as soon as I died, my flaws were exposed.However, I still listen; but after all, no conclusion can be reached, and it can be summed up like this——

"died……" "Om.—This..." "Humph!……" "Tsk... Alas!..." I was very happy because I never heard a familiar voice.Otherwise, I will either make them sad, or make them happy, or make them add some material for their after-dinner chat, which will cost them precious time; I will be very sorry.No one can see it now, that is, no one is affected.Well, finally worthy of people! However, it was probably a horse ant, crawling on my spine, itching.I can't move at all, and I don't have the power to get rid of him; in normal times, just twisting my body can make him retreat.Moreover, there is another one crawling on the thigh!What do you do?Insects!

Things got even worse: with a buzzing sound, a bluebottle fly landed on my cheekbone, walked a few steps, flew away again, and licked the tip of my nose when it opened its mouth.I thought angrily: Sir, I am not a great man, you don't need to come to me for theoretical material...But can't say it.But he ran down from the tip of his nose, and licked my lips with his cold tongue again, I don't know but to show my love.There are a few more that gather on the eyebrows, and when I take a step, the roots of my hair shake.It really bores me to death,--to hell. Suddenly, with a gust of wind, a piece of something fell from above, and they flew away together. Before leaving, they said——

"What a pity!..." I was so angry that I almost fainted. The dull sound of the wood falling on the ground and the vibration of the ground woke me up suddenly, and I felt the stripes of the reed mat on my forehead.But the reed mat was lifted off, and he immediately felt the scorching heat of the sun.I also heard someone say—— "Why do you want to die here?..." The voice was very close to me, and he was bending over.But where should one die?I used to think that although people do not have the right to live freely on earth, they always have the right to die freely.It is only now that I know that is not the case, and it is difficult to conform to the general will of the people.It's a pity that I haven't had pen and paper for a long time; even if I have, I can't write, and even if I write, there is nowhere to publish it.Just leave it like this.

Someone came to carry me, but I don't know who it was.Hearing the sound of scabbards, and the patrolman here, I should not "die here".I was turned around a few times, and I felt a lift up, then sinking down;But, strangely, only two were nailed.Could it be that there are two coffin nails here? I thought: this time it was a wall on six sides, plus nails.What a complete failure, alas! ... "Stuffy!..." I thought again. However, I am actually much more peaceful than before, although I don't know if I am buried or not.Touching the stripes of the straw mat on the back of his hand, he felt that the corpse quilt was not bad at all.I just don't know who gave me the money, what a pity!But, damn it, restrained boys!The corner of the shirt behind me was wrinkled, and they didn't smooth it out for me, and now it's making me uncomfortable.Do you think that dead people are ignorant and do things so hastily?Ha ha!

My body seems to be much heavier than when I was alive, so it is very uncomfortable to press the wrinkles.But I think you can get used to it soon; or it will rot, and there will be no more trouble.It is better to think quietly at this moment. "Hello? Are you dead?" It was a rather familiar voice.When he opened his eyes and looked, it was the boy running away from the second-hand bookstore in Boguzhai.It has been more than twenty years since I disappeared, but it is still the same.I looked at the walls on all six sides, they were really rough, they hadn't been scraped at all, and the saw wool was still fluffy.

"That's okay, that's okay." He said, opening the dark blue cloth package. "This is the Mingban "Gongyang Zhuan", a Jiajing black-mouthed version, brought to you. You can keep it. This is..." "You!" I looked into his eyes in amazement and said, "Are you really confused? Look at me like this, why do you want to look at a bright board?..." "That can be seen, that's not a problem." I immediately closed my eyes because I was so sick of him.After a pause, there was no sound, and he probably left.But it seemed that a horse ant crawled up on the neck again, and finally climbed up to the face, only circling around the eye sockets.

Unexpectedly, people's thinking will change after death.Suddenly, there was a force that broke the peace of my heart; at the same time, many dreams were dreaming before my eyes.A few friends wish me well, and a few enemies wish me death.But I have always been neither happy nor perishing, and I can't live up and down, and I can't live up to any expectations.Now you are dead like a shadow, and even your enemies don't know about it, and you don't want to give them a little bit of joy without cost. ... I feel like crying out of joy.This was probably the first time I cried after my death.

However, there were no tears in the end; I only saw sparks before my eyes, and I sat up. July 12, 1925.