Chapter 39 Three Questions about Playing Kong

The late Professor Kong Zhongwen of the Chinese Department of Sun Yat-Sen University in Kaohsiung was a descendant of Confucius in the 80s.Once we were in the same elevator again, I laughed and asked him: "Your great ancestors took Zeng Zi out, who will go first?" He said, "Of course it is Confucius." I said: "Wrong." He said, "Why?" I said, "It's Zeng Zi." He said, "Why?" I said, "Scramble to be the first." It is said that Han Yu admonished to welcome the Buddha bone, demoted his official position to Chaoyang, and blocked the snow on the way.His grand-nephew Han Xiang sent him off in the snow, and Han Yu presented him with a poem. There is a famous line "Where is the home in the Qinling Mountains, where the snow embraces the blue pass and the horse does not move forward".Staying at Languan Posthouse that night, Han Yu let out a long sigh, and said to Han Xiang: "Buddhism intends to subvert Confucianism, I have already seen it." Han Xiang asked about it, and Han Yu said: "The monk is called a monk. A nun is also called a bhikkhuni, which is too much. It is clearly aimed at the saint, not only to compare with Confucius, but also to be a nun!"

Confucius was very happy when he received an invitation from the "International Symposium on World Sinology" in the United States, inviting him to give a special speech at the opening ceremony, and planned to print a box of business cards first.The owner of the stationery shop was very respectful when he saw the saint coming, and asked that the business card should be in both Chinese and English, and said to Confucius, "I don't know what to call the English side?" "Isn't there a ready-made Confucius?" Confucius asked. "That's the old respectful title foreigners call you, the Latinized version of 'Confucius'." The boss smiled and said, "You're always ashamed to call yourself 'Confucius'."

"That's true." Confucius couldn't help pondering when he thought of his usual advocacy of modesty. "Then, how should I print it?" "Du Fu also came here yesterday." The boss said. "Oh, how did his name get printed?" Confucius asked. "Mr. Du originally wanted to print Du Fu," the boss said. "When I heard it, I said, it's not good, it's too similar to 'tofu'. Mr. Du said, then turn it around and call it Fu Du. I said, that's even worse. It's like 'confused'!" "Then what should we do?" Confucius asked.

"Later I said to the poet: 'Aren't you always named Zimei? Zimei, Zimei...you have it!' Du Fu said: 'Why do you have it?' I said: 'Du Zimei, let's call it Jimmy Du!' " Confucius laughed and called out "Miao!" "Actually, Han Yu has also been here." The boss said again. "Really?" Confucius became more curious, "He just printed Han Yu?" "Originally he wanted to do this," the boss said, "I said no after hearing it, it was too similar to Hang you. Mr. Han said: 'What about the other way around?' I said, You hang, that's not OK either. It's not 'Hang you ’ is just ‘You go hang yourself’, it’s so indecent.”

"What happened later?" Confucius asked. "Later," the boss said triumphantly, "I still thought of Mr. Han's hometown, and said to him: 'Aren't you always Han Changli?' He said: 'Yes.' I said I would print Charlie Han." "Great, great!" Confucius smiled, frowned again, and said, "They have all been settled, but how do I print it?" The boss thought for a while and shouted, "Yes!" "What's the matter?" Confucius asked. "Aren't you Zi Zhongni?" The boss laughed. "Yes." Confucius looked forward.

The boss yelled: "Just print Johnny Kong!" Soon the stationery store became internationally famous.Only then did everyone discover that the boss turned out to be Zhuge Liang pretending.