Chapter 6 last

On November 14th, Wu Yin lectured on Ruijin Ji at the student reunion meeting of the Buddhist Yangzhengyuan in Nanputuo Temple The Buddhist Yangzhengyuan has been in operation for four years.When you first came here, your body was very small. After four years, your body has grown up, and some of you are about the same size as me.what!Time is fast.Life is alive, from childhood to middle age, from middle age to old age, although it has passed through decades, it is almost the same as a moment.As far as I am concerned, my age is about to reach sixty, and I think back to the present from when I was a child to the present; ah!I think there is only one sentence I can tell you about the situation I have experienced in the past, which is "unbearable to look back on".

I often think to myself, ah!Am I a beast?It seems not, because I am still a human body.Is my conscience gone?It seems not yet, because I still have a sliver of conscience and often miss my mistakes.Have I been doing evil since I was a child?It doesn't seem to be the case, because when I was a child, I often practiced Yuan Liaofan's merits and demerits. After the age of thirty, I paid great attention to self-cultivation. When I first became a monk, I was not without Taoism.Even so, it has been very different since becoming a monk until now: because after becoming a monk for twenty years, he has become more and more depraved day by day. Although his body is not a beast, his heart is similar to that of a beast.Although the conscience is not completely lost, but it is muddled, and it is getting worse every day, or it is almost the same as the loss of conscience.As for the sentence of burying one's head in doing evil, since I became a monk, my evil thoughts have increased day by day, and my good thoughts have been declining day by day. Until now, I can be said to be a very mellow person who has devoted himself to doing evil. There is no need to be modest about being polite.

From the above, it seems that I have degenerated to such a degree since I became a monk, which is really amazing; among them, the ten years after I arrived in southern Fujian, the degeneration is especially depraved.Last spring, I gave a lecture in Yangzhengyuan. The topic of the lecture was "Ten Years of Dreams in Southern Fujian". In every word I said, I could see the traces of my tears.You should remember it. But this year, it looks even worse than last year; since I arrived in Quanzhou on the 20th of the first lunar month, I have been confused for the past two months.Not only I can't see it, but my friends also say that I used to be like a wild crane in the clouds, walking alone, living and stopping at will, why has my life changed drastically recently, giving lectures everywhere, frequenting guests, and holding banquets from time to time, and I have become a "" socializing monk", this is what my friend said.what! I think I have a lot of similarities with the five words "monk who socialize" these days.

For example, after living in Quanzhou for two months, I went to Hui'an, Xiamen, and Zhangzhou. I continued the previous draft;Daily life is not always about fame and gain. Although I lived in Ruizhuyan for two months, I was a little quiet, but soon, I went to the Qibao Pavilion to pretend to be a good teacher, and received worship and offerings from many good men and women. It is extremely ashamed to say. I went to Anhai again in September and stayed for a month, which was very lively.Recently, when I went to Quanzhou again, although I often felt a sense of fear and dislike, I still couldn't help moving on the road of fame and fortune.But there is also something to be thankful for recently, because I recently got a letter from a fifteen-year-old boy in Yongchun.He advised me not to have frequent banquets in the future, but to keep quiet and study hard; in the letter, he talked about his recent life, such as reciting poems, admiring the moon, watching flowers, sitting quietly, etc., a letter full of thousands of words.what!He is a boy of fifteen years old, but he has such noble thoughts and righteous opinions; I am really ashamed when I read this letter from him.Ever since I got his letter, I have been very resolute and declined the banquet. Although I offended others, I did not ignore him. This can be regarded as a recent lucky thing.

Even so, I have made too many faults. It can be said that from the beginning to the end, there is not a single fault. How can I just refuse the banquet and it will be over?Especially in the few months of this year, trying to pretend to be a good teacher is really embarrassing for Buddhism.Others may be able to forgive me; but I can never forgive myself, and I must not pass it so carelessly.That's why when I was speaking to people recently, I didn't care about sympathy, and decided to deal with the unfinished business as soon as possible. I canceled all titles such as "Master", "Old Master" and "Lawyer", and thanked all scholars and waiters; I was alone. , Then I took it for the first time, and this may also be the end of my life.

what!In a little more than a month, I will be sixty years old.For example, since I became a monk, since I have no shame and no shame, I have devoted myself to doing evil, so most of the things I have done so far are fragmented and cannot be completed. This is also a matter of course.Only for the students of Yangzhengyuan, I have been together for four years, and I can't forget my feelings; I very much hope that Yangzhengyuan can be revived from now on and become a model monastic academy in the country.But I'm old and I don't have any moral knowledge, so I can only say "I can't help" to the Nursing Home in the future.

what!It's been too long to talk with you classmates, and I use ancient poems as my farewell words.Poetry goes: □□□□□□□ Everything is better from defect Singing to the sunset outside the mountain