Chapter 11 Ninagawa went

Just before Ninagawa was about to die, Zen Master Ikkyu came to visit him. "Want me to guide you?" Ikki asked. Ninagawa replied, "I came alone, and I'm going alone. How can you help me?" Yixiu replied: "If you think you have really come and gone, then this is just your illusion. Let me show you the way that neither comes nor goes." Ikkyu's words had shown that way so clearly that Ninagawa smiled, and died. Death is incremental, the highest apex life can reach.In the moment of death, there are many possibilities.If you are preparing, always preparing, meditating, waiting, then at the moment of death, enlightenment is very possible -- because death and enlightenment are similar.An enlightened master can easily enlighten you at the moment of your death, even before death, and whenever it happens you have to be ready to die.

What happens in death?Suddenly, you are losing your body; suddenly, you are losing your mind; suddenly, you feel that you are moving away from yourself - everything you believe in is yourself, and it is painful because you feel that you are being drowned in emptiness , you have nowhere to be now because you are always identified with body and mind, you never know beyond, you never know yourself as beyond body and mind, you are so attracted and fascinated by the periphery that Yu completely forgot about the center. In death you must meet the fact that the body is leaving, now it can no longer be kept; the mind is leaving you - now you can no longer control the mind, the ego is disappearing - you cannot even say "I ’, you tremble with fear on the brink of nothingness, you will not be there.

But if you've been preparing, if you've been meditating—preparing means, if you've been making every effort to use death, the abyss of nothingness—prefer not to be drawn by it, but instead you've been preparing Just jump in...and it will make a lot of difference. If you've been dragged by it -- you don't want to go in, and you're caught by it -- then it's painful, excruciatingly painful!And this excruciating pain is so intense that at the moment of death, you become unconscious and you miss it.If you are ready to jump, then there is no pain, if you accept and welcome, then there is no complaint - even, you are happy and celebrate the arrival of this moment, now I can jump out of this limited body, can jump out of this suffering The limited body, being able to step out of this ego that is always suffering - there is no need to go into the unconscious if you welcome that.If you can become accepting and welcoming - that's what is called "thatta" in Buddhism, accept it, not just accept, because "accepting" is a bad word, deep down there is something wrong Accept -- no, if you welcome it, if it is such a celebration, ecstasy, if it is a blessing, then you need not become unconscious.

If it is a blessing, then you become fully conscious at that moment.Remember, these two aspects: if you say no, if you say "No," you become completely unconscious; if you accept, welcome, and say with all your heart, "Yes!" you become completely conscious.Saying "yes" to death will make you fully conscious, saying "no" to death will make you completely unconscious - these are the two paths into death. Buddha died with total acceptance. There was no resistance, no struggle between him and death. Death is holy... You are fighting to die. If one is always preparing, getting ready, then the master can miraculously help at the moment of death.Just one word at the right moment and suddenly the fire within will explode and you will be enlightened -- because the moment is so intense, you are so intensely focused on one point.

That's what's in this story.Ikkyu is one of the greatest masters, a very rare, revolutionary, non-conformist master.Once, he was in a temple: it was cold at night, and there were three wooden Buddha statues in the temple, so he burned one to keep warm.One monk found out—he fell asleep.It was midnight, and the night was very cold—he sensed something was going on, so he looked. Buddha is burning in the fire! ——This person, Ikkyu was sitting comfortably, warming his hands.The monk was going mad and he said, "What are you doing? Are you a madman? - I thought you were a Buddhist monk, so I let you stay in the temple and you did the most blasphemous things ."

Yixiu looked at the monk and said: "But the Buddha inside me feels very cold, so this is a question, should I use the living Buddha to worship the wooden Buddha, or use the wooden Buddha to worship the living Buddha, I decided to worship the living Buddha ." But the monk was so angry that he couldn't listen to what Ikkyu was saying. He said, "You are a madman, get out of here! You burned the Buddha." So Yixiu began to fiddle with the burned Buddha statue - only ashes were left, and the Buddha statue was almost completely burned.He began to fiddle with the stick.The monk asked, "What are you doing?"

He said, "I am looking for the bones of Buddha." The monk laughed and said, "You are either a fool or a madman, you are totally crazy! You will not find the bone there because it is just a wooden Buddha." Yixiu laughed, and said, "Then bring the other two. It's still very cold at night, and it's still early in the morning." This Ikkyu was a very rare person, he immediately went out, out of the temple, in the morning he just sat on the roadside outside the temple - worshiped a stone tablet, put some flowers, he prayed.The monk said, "You fool! What did you do to disrespect Buddha at night? You committed a crime. What are you doing to this stele now? It's not a Buddha image!"

Ikkyu said, "When you want to pray, all things are Buddha images. At that time, the inner Buddha feels very cold, at this time the inner Buddha feels to pray." This Yikyu had thousands of disciples throughout the country, and he usually roamed from one place to another to help the disciples.The story is about one of his protégés, Ninagawa, who was almost on the verge of enlightenment.But "almost enlightened" is nothing - you can go back, and at the last point, you can also fail.Either it happens or it doesn't.It is this last moment, when there is one step left, and you will become an enlightened person, and you may go back.This Ninagawa is almost enlightened, but he is still caught by the scriptures, because unless you reach the truth, it is very difficult to let go of the attachment to the scriptures.

It is very difficult to escape from the prison of words, it only happens when you are truly enlightened, when the words you see are just words: nothing, they are not solid, they are made of dreams Made of stuff, they are just ripples in the mind, nothing else but the sound of the mind, and what does that mean?Meaning means that what we give has no meaning in itself. Words can be meaningless, but any word can become interesting by convention. So this is a social phenomenon and has nothing to do with truth.But people live by words: if someone said something against Jesus, and you were a Christian, you were going to kill him—it was a matter of life and death.

"Jesus" is just one word! — But people live by words. I have heard once: Mulla Nasruddin once grabbed a man on the street and said, "I am in a very difficult situation: my wife is starving, my child is sick, can you Can't you give me a little help?" The man looked at Nasruddin -- he was indeed in a sad predicament.He asked, "Why should I help you?—I just want to ask you one thing: What put you in such a sad situation? How did you become so miserable? What happened to you?" Nasruddin said: "It's a long story, but the long story short: just a few years ago, I was a businessman like you, and beggars used to catch me on the street, everything was so good .and then a catastrophe..."

The man became very interested and asked, "Then what happened?" Mulla Nasruddin said, "My business is doing well and the money keeps coming in. I am a very hardworking person, Very involved in running my business. I put a motto on the table: Think creatively! Act decisively! The money just keeps coming in. And then," Mulla Nasruddin began with a tremor in his speech, He said, "Then my wife burned that motto...the motto: Think Creatively! Act Decisively!—the whole thing rests on that motto, and my wife burned it! That's The greatest calamity, that led me to such a sad predicament." Have you ever wondered what would happen if your classics were burned?If your motto is burned, then what will happen?What happens if your writing is burned?You'd be in a very sad situation, that's why if someone said anything against the bible, you would go crazy, it's not because he was saying something against the bible - he was burning your motto!You rely on words.And you rely on words because you don't know what truth is.If you start knowing what truth is, you will throw away all words, you will burn all aphorisms! Mulla Nasruddin looks stupid - it's not.He is just a representative of human beings, the most representative ordinary person, he is you, and of course it just magnifies all your absurdities. This Ninagawa has been struggling all his life, meditating, sitting quietly, using many techniques, trying to use various methods to become calm, quiet and serene, but he is still influenced by the classics. On the day he was about to die, Yixiu came to visit him.Now is the time to push this person into the infinite abyss.He may miss it, because at the time of death, if the classics are still there, then you will miss it. You need total emptiness, you need total emptiness, only then can you meet death, because death is emptiness.Only the similar can know the similar, and the same knows the same.If you are full, even one word, you will miss, because then there is the mind, and death has no mind, death has no thought, death is just falling into the void. So Ikkyu came to push this disciple at the last moment, he had already missed his life - he should not have missed this last moment.I will also tell you this: if you miss out on life, there is only one possibility and only hope - at the moment of death.But there's no need to wait for it, it could happen right now!If it's not happening now, keep trying.But be prepared for death!If you're ready, I'll be there to push you.If you're ready, then it's super easy: just one little jerk and the mind is blown off. Just before Ninagawa was about to die, Zen Master Ikkyu came to visit him. The masters are always watching, it may not actually happen, remember that, it may not actually happen, it may happen.It could have been that no one else but Ninagawa had seen the master come to visit him; it might have actually happened, but that was irrelevant.One thing is for sure, when Ninagawa was dying, at the very last moment, Shifu was there.This conversation happened between Ninagawa and Ikkyu.There were probably a lot of other people there, they probably didn't hear the conversation at all, they probably didn't see Ikkyu coming at all, it was or wasn't a physical visitation, but it happened, it happened... whatever Everything that needs to be done has been done. "Do you want me to guide you?" Ikkyu asked, and Ninagawa replied... A person who is limited to the scriptures, especially a Buddhist, because in Buddhism a guru is not accepted... Buddha is the greatest guru, but in Buddhism a guru is not accepted.They have a reason, because the human mind is so complex, it creates trouble everywhere: the guru is going to liberate you, but you may be bound by him.Hinduism has always taught that without a guru, without a guru, there is no liberation.It's true, completely true.But in Buddha's time, it became a bondage. Without gurus, without gurus there is no liberation, so people start becoming slaves to gurus because without them there is no liberation!Look at the human mind and stupid people: the master wants to set you free, but you become the master's slave, because only he can set free, you just have to tame.A lot of slavery was created, no one else on this earth created such deep slavery like Hinduism, you can't see a single revolution against the priests in the whole history of Hinduism, no - the whole The process is so definite, so fixed and systematized, that everybody knows that if you rebel against the priest, there is no relief -- he is the guru, he is the master. Impossible to touch - the sudras - are already in the most miserable situation, they are veritable slaves, they have the longest history of slavery, but they never rebel because it is impossible.Guru, Guru, Brahmin - he is the gate of divinity, you have missed this life and if you rebel you will miss another - so go on being a slave! Then Buddha appeared and he said, "There is no need for a guru" -- not because there is no need for a guru: he said no need for a guru, he meant no need for a slave -- but that is the only thing that can be said method. So Buddha said, "Lighten yourself, you don't need someone to guide you! You don't need someone to guide you! You are enough for yourself." This is the nature of freedom and the greatest possibility of freedom.But you can also misuse it, and that's the problem.So you think if you don't need a guru, why listen to Buddha?If there is no need for a master, why go to the Buddha?If I am completely independent, then I myself am a Buddha.Through Buddhism, that happens: slavery cannot arise, but a deep egoism arises.But both are two extremes: either you become an egoist -- because there is no guru, no guru, no one to follow, or you become a slave -- because without a guru there is no liberation. Can't you be in the middle?Can't you not go to extremes and just be in the middle?If you can be in the middle, then the mind disappears. When Yixiu came, he said, "Do you want me to guide you?" Ikkyu asked the basic questions of Buddhism, and Ikkyu knew that if he still carried the scriptures, he would say, "No, who can guide whom? No one is a guru, every soul is completely independent, I myself am a light." If he is carrying the scriptures, this is the answer.If he is not burdened with scriptures, then the answer can be anything—infinite possibilities open up. Ninagawa replied, "I am coming alone," which is what the Buddha said, "I am going alone. How can you help me?" Everyone lives alone, goes alone, and in between, coming and going, you may be deceiving yourself that you are with someone, but you are still alone.If you are alone in the beginning and alone in the end, how can you be with someone else in the middle?Wife, husband, friends, society, everything is an illusion.You have always been alone, alone is your nature.You can only deceive, you can only dream.Others are still others, and there is no point of meeting.This is the most basic teaching of Buddhism to set people free. That's why Buddha even denied God, because if there is God then how can you be alone?He is always there, even when you are in the bathroom -- because He is omnipotent, omnipresent.You can't escape from him, wherever you go, he is there, he is the eyes of the universe, the spy of the universe, following you, no matter what you do, he is watching!It is very difficult to run away from God: if he is there, he is everywhere.You can't hide - and that's beautiful if you can realize it - and religious people use this to help people. Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, they all use the omnipresent God, and it helps a lot, because if you can actually feel God following you everywhere like a shadow, then you become very, Be very alert and aware - because he is there!You are not alone, you cannot relax in sin, you cannot relax in ignorance, in sleep -- he is present.That presence will alert you. This is the correct usage.But otherwise, it becomes a bondage, a heavy burden and anxiety. I once heard about a Christian nun who wouldn't even take a bath naked, no, she even went to the shower with her clothes on all the time, so she was asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "How can I be naked? Because God is everywhere." But if God is everywhere - and that is in the bathroom - he is also in the clothes, you cannot escape!He is in you!He is everywhere! This can turn into a deep anxiety, like when you're in the shower and you start to realize that someone is peeping at you through the keyhole - you get anxious.And God is Tom who sees everything! - He's sitting on every keyhole, you can't do something without him knowing, he's there when you make love! Whatever you do, he knows, and everything is recorded.This can turn into a deep anxiety and neurosis, which can create guilt, and you've missed out.Remember: every key used to open a door can also be used to destroy the lock if you use it wrong.Use the key one way, one correct way, and only then can the lock be opened.If you use it wrong, the lock can be broken.When the mind is there, the key is always being used in a wrong way, and then someone needs to come and say to you, "Throw away this key, because it is useless now, it will only break the lock, Doesn't do you any favors!" Buddha said there was no need for a Guru - because in his day a Guru meant a Brahman. Krishnamurti is saying the same thing: there is no need for a guru.But there is another possibility that sets you free.If it gives you freedom, then there is no problem at all; but it may give you egoism, and that is the problem, that is the difficulty.If it gives you egoism, you may not be a slave to others, but you have become a slave to your ego.Remember, no one can be such a dangerous master as your ego, no one can blind you like your ego, no one can lead you to hell like your ego. Yixiu wanted to know if this person was still clinging to the scriptures, or if he had already realized the Buddha.Understanding is one thing, attachment is another, attachment is the dead letter.If he has realized, then Buddha is the greatest teacher.If he doesn't understand, then he doesn't allow it, and even at the point of death, he clings to the scriptures. Ikkyu was standing there and was asking, "Can I guide you? Shall I guide you? - because the way is unknown, you have never experienced it, I walked the way, I know How to die, I know how to celebrate death, I know how to disappear yourself in death, so you are never gone, so your true self is born for the first time, I know the secret of death and rebirth, I can guide You?" Ninagawa answered—he declined—and he said, "I'm coming alone, and I'm going alone. How can you help me?" But he needs help, and if he doesn't need help, then he just smiles and says, "Thank you." No need to quote these words from the scriptures, why are you quoting the scriptures?Because they are rationalized.Whenever you are not sure, you use the classics, because the classics are very certain.Whenever you are in doubt you quote Buddha, Krishna, Christ, because they can cover your hesitation, they can cover your reality, they can give you false confidence. Whenever you are quoting someone else, you are covering up your ignorance.The man is not saying, "I'm going alone." It's not his experience, he's not saying, "I'm going alone, too." He's repeating words, you can't fool a master with words . Ikkyu replied: "If you think you have really come and gone..." These are the most beautiful words, perfect even, all the essence of Upanisas, all of Buddhism and Mahavira The essence of the classic - only one sentence. "If you think you've really come and gone, it's just your illusion. Let me show you the way that hasn't come and gone." This is really very difficult and delicate. Ikkyu said, "If you think you really come and go, then there is still the ego. Who comes? Who goes? If you think you come and go, you don't understand, you just repeat Follow the words of the Buddha."—there is attachment. If you have come to know: I come alone, I go alone.Then there is neither coming nor going, because the soul is never born and never dies. Life goes on and on forever, it goes on, never comes, never goes.This body is born, this body dies - but that life, that energy, that self, that soul, or whatever you call it, the consciousness that exists in this body, it was never born and it never dies Drop, that consciousness is continuous, there is never any break.If you really understand, then you will understand that there is no coming and no going.Who is coming?who went?If you don't know, if you don't realize this, then you say, "I come alone." But this 'I' is the ego, this 'I' is not itself. When you say, "I go alone," the emphasis is on the "I" -- and that "I" is the bondage.If there is no "I", suddenly, you will understand that you have never been born and will never die; there is no beginning and there is no end. Jesus said... Someone asked Jesus, "Are you the savior we've been waiting for? Who are you? Tell me about you." Jesus said, "Before Abraham, I am." Abraham must have lived thousands of years ago, and Jesus said, "Before Abraham, I am." It is indeed absurd, logically absurd, and grammatically unsound: "Before Abraham, I am." Abraham was In the past, Jesus said, "before him..." and Abraham was the original prophet.There are various possibilities that Abraham just changed the name of Ram, because in ancient Hebrew, it is not "Abraham", it is "Abram", and "Abel (Ab) "The meaning is just respect, like "Shree Ram", it just means respect, so there are various possibilities that Abraham was none other than Ram. Jesus said; "Before Abraham, I was." With Abraham, Jesus used the past tense: He was, and he is not.That shows that it is no longer.But "I am (Iam)", because "I am always: I was, I am, and I will be." The innermost consciousness knows no birth, no death; knows no past, no present, no future; knows no time, it is eternal.Eternity is not a part of time. Yixiu said: "If you think you really come and go—if you think you come and go—it's just your illusion. Let me show you the way that neither comes nor goes." What have the Buddhas been doing all the time?They've been showing you that you're perfect—that's what you are.No changes are required.You don't have to go anywhere, you don't have to move an inch.As you are, here and now you are in your perfect glory, not coming, not going, just aware of the phenomena of your being, just aware of who you are!Just be alert!Then there is nothing to be achieved, no effort to be made, because from the very beginning, before Abraham, you were there.You have seen the world come into being, you will see the end of the world, but there is no beginning and no end for you. You are witnessing, and witnessing cannot have any beginning and cannot have any end.If you are alert, you will see your own birth.If you can die consciously, you will see death happening in the body all the time, and you are just a bystander.The body is dead, you are just a witness.If in death you are just a witness, then in the next life, at birth, you will also be a witness.You will see the mind choosing the womb: wandering the whole earth, looking for a woman, a couple making love - you will see it. It is like if you are hungry: you will go to the market, you will be a watcher, your eyes, your mind looking for hotels, restaurants, suitable places to eat.You are hungry, but if you are too identified with that hunger, then you cannot be aware.Otherwise, the hunger is there, and you are not that hungry.How can you be hungry? —Otherwise, who would know that you are hungry? To know hunger, there needs to be someone beyond hunger who can see, know, and be alert.If you can be aware of being hungry, then you can see how your mind is looking for a suitable place to eat.The same happens after death: your mind is looking for a suitable womb.You choose, you see what is happening.If you are looking for a particular womb, if you are a very good soul or a very bad soul, it may take you years to find the right womb - very difficult. If you are just an ordinary person, a very ordinary person, nothing particularly good or bad, not Hitler, not Gandhi, then you will be born immediately, there is no need to wait, because the ordinary, normal, average is everywhere Uterus.So one moment you die, the next moment you are born -- not even a moment's delay.But for Hitler it took many, many years - which is fine, we are lucky because he was a fallen soul, very fallen! You can't imagine his fall, he corrupts everything.Whenever a man becomes depraved, the first thing that degrades is his love, because sex has always been the root of your being.The first thing in the fall is sex.When sex goes wrong, everything goes wrong.When sex is natural, then everything is natural. Study Hitler's sex life and you'll be blown away, you won't believe what he's doing.He would seek out beautiful women, but never make love to them.So what is he going to do?You can't imagine!He would force those beautiful women...he would sit down and he would force them to pee on his head, what kind of man...?what is he doingHe likes to say: not only pee, but they should defecate on his head.The women were ashamed - what was he doing? —He was such a powerful man: if you disobeyed him...he killed a lot of people.All his lovers were either killed by him or committed suicide—— Because this is so depraved!But he feels very good, what's going on? He is such a sin, he wants to punish himself, even punish himself through love, he is so sinful, that sin is so great... If you have so much guilt, then you cannot love, because love is only Can it be from the heart without guilt, without feeling any guilt, just like a child, innocent—then love blossoms, then it becomes a celebration!If you feel guilty, then you start punishing yourself, or punishing others, through love.You cannot enjoy love because you feel that you are so sinful, so bad -- how can you enjoy love?Through love you make a hell.This seems almost impossible, because Hitler outside the room is almost a god, people worship him; while inside the room he feels so inferior, sinful, and reprehensible that he even wants to get rid of it through love. punish yourself. Finding a uterus is not easy for this type of person—nearly impossible.He had to wait centuries, only then would he find such a womb, such a man and such a woman making love, so sinful and so reprehensible, only then would he be able to Select to the uterus.But this happens unconsciously, so you don't need to worry too much about it.You die unconsciously, you are born unconsciously -- it happens automatically.It's just the mind moving, groping, and entering the womb in the dark.But if you die consciously, then the next birth will be conscious. If you die consciously and live consciously, you will know that there is no birth, no death, only the body is chosen.You are the same, just with a different house.If you changed out of your old clothes, wouldn't you say, this is a new birth, I was born?No, because you just changed clothes, you are still the same. This is how one becomes alert, starts to know that all changes are just changes of clothes, houses, places, situations, circumstances, but you are still the same. The center never changes, it is eternal. Yixiu said: "If you think that you have really come and gone, it is just your illusion. Let me show you the road that has neither come nor gone." What is that road?Is there really a way?Because we have to use language, that's why he said: "The way." Otherwise there is no way, because the way always leads somewhere.There is no way to lead you because you are already there!If you want to come to me, there is a way, there must be; if you come to someone, then you must follow a way, over a road, bridge, somewhere or something— —Because you are walking outward. But if you want to go inward, there is no way, you are already there. All it takes is a sudden jerk and you feel, you're there. It is as if you were dreaming at night: you were sleeping in Pune, and in the dream you came back to your home in London, or New York, or Calcutta, or Tokyo, and in the dream you completely forgot that you were in Pune.What is needed then?Just a jerk and someone will wake you up.Will you wake up in London, Tokyo, New York or Poona?It's hard, it creates a really ridiculous world, if you have a dream about New York and someone wakes you up, you wake up in New York!Then the world would be a nightmare at night.But you wake up in Poona and that dream disappears. Buddha has been teaching that there is no need to go anywhere because you are already where you want to be.But you are in the dream, and in the dream you have moved away from the center -- you cannot get out of there.you are there.For millions of lifetimes you may have been dreaming, but not far from your center.No one can leave.Just a jerk, someone gives you a shock...you become alert and the dream suddenly disappears—the dreamland, New York and London, they disappear— You are here and now. This jerk, this shock can easily be given at the moment of death -- because the whole body-mind is undergoing great changes, everything is in chaos.In chaos, you are more alert because everything is uncomfortable.It is difficult to bring a person out of dreamland when everything is comfortable.No one really wants to come out of a comfortable dream.Only when the dream becomes a nightmare, then do you scream. I have heard that one night Mulla Nasruddin screamed so loudly that the neighbors also came to ask what happened.Mulla Nasruddin was sitting on the bed crying, tears were streaming down his face, his wife was comforting him, saying, "It's just a dream, Nasruddin, why are you making so much trouble ?—the neighbors are coming, there's a big crowd." Nasruddin said, "But the dream was like this... Let me tell you the dream first. In the dream, I went to a wife auction - such a beautiful woman! A woman sold for ten thousand rupees,另外一个卖到五千卢比，很多人都卖到几千块。" "我没有钱，我找了又找，可是身上没有钱。我翻了所有的口袋，"——而有一个口袋，他从来不翻——他说："甚至我找了那个口袋。" 有一个特别的口袋，他从来不翻。如果有什么东西掉了，有人会问："你找遍了所有的口袋，为什么不在这个口袋里找找呢？" 他会说："因为那个口袋仍然给我希望，如果那个口袋我也找的话，那么就没有希望了。因为我想，或许那儿仍然还有可能性——但是我从来不往那口袋里面看，因为我很清楚它不在那里。" "甚至我找了那个特别的口袋——没有钱。我就流泪、哭泣。" 但是他的妻子对这点并不感兴趣，她问："那斯鲁汀，那儿的妻子们也都像我吗？"她愚蠢地发问，就像任何女人那样发问，因为没有女人对别的漂亮的女人感兴趣，甚至，她会感到嫉妒。她问："像我一样的妻子们怎么样？她们卖到多少？" 那斯鲁汀说："那就是我为什么要惊叫。像你一样的妻子们，那些人将她们分成一堆一堆，一打，两打，他们正在将她们以一卢比一串的价格拍卖——那就是我为什么要惊叫： 没有钱来买，而那就是正发生在我妻子身上的事！ " 他甚至梦醒之后还在哭着，流着眼泪。 梦影响深入，因为在一个无意识的头脑中，真正的界线是非常模糊的，什么是梦和什么是真实是很模糊的，它们是混合的，那些界线并不这样轮廓清晰，那些界线是模糊不清的。 你是否看见过小孩子因为在梦里丢失了玩具而哭着醒来吗？"我正到处找玩具，玩具丢到哪里去了？" 但是，这个孩子从来不曾在你里面死掉，只有当你以很大的努力来变得警觉时，它才会死。只有那时梦和真实变得界线分明。一旦模糊消失了，一旦界线不模糊了，一旦你觉知到什么是梦，什么是真实，梦就停止了——因为那时梦无法继续。如果你已经觉知了，梦就无法再继续。即使在梦里，如果你觉知到这是一个梦，梦就会立刻停止！ 你从来不曾在梦中觉知到这是一个梦，你总是感觉到这是真实的。为了能够继续，你感觉需要说这是真实的，你通过感觉来给予真实。如果你脱离了那个感觉，那么梦就消失了，只有真实存在。 你在这个世界中就是一个梦，你存在于神性中才是真实：你在市场中是一个梦，你从来没有远离存在的中心、离开神，这才是真实。你在市场中是一个梦——梦能够继续，没有时间限制。如果你认为你是身体，那么这就是一个梦——你从来不是一个身体。如果你认为你生了又死了，这是一个梦—— 你从来没有生，也从来不可能死，那是不可能的。 一休说："如果你说：我来了又去了，那么这就是你的错觉。没有人来也没有人去，没有从什么地方来，也没有地方可去，让我来指给你看无路之路。因为那时是没有路的：因为如果没有人来，也没有人去，没有从什么地方来，也没有地方可去，那么路怎么能够存在呢？所以让我指给你看没有来也没有去的无路之路。" 一休的话已经很清楚地显示了那条路，以致于蜷川微笑着，然后便去世了。 这发生了！你听了这些话——但是你不是蜷川，还没有做那么多的准备，你还不在临终的床上——那就是问题。你在生活中还有希望，你的梦对你来讲还有很多意义，你在梦中投资了很多。你或许有一个想走出梦的欲望，但是这个欲望也是三心二意的，另一部分一直在说："再多一点梦，它是这样的美。" 一天晚上，穆拉·那斯鲁汀叫她的妻子："把我的眼镜拿过来，因为我一直在看着一个美丽的梦，它给我很多承诺。把我的眼镜拿来，因为那个地方不太亮，我看不清楚。" 你或许一直在做恶梦，在那些时候你感到："怎样扔掉这个梦？"——但是你也有美丽的梦，不仅有地狱般的梦，你也有天堂之梦。那就是问题：除非你变得觉知到即使天堂之梦也是一个梦，是没有用的，否则你就不是在临终的床上。你的欲望继续着，你一直在给梦的世界浇灌着，给它养料，帮助它成长。 蜷川在临终的床上，他快死了，没有未来，他处在混乱中！身体的整个系统、整个协调性，头脑和灵魂正在越来越松，正在分裂，他并不是一体的！恶梦很强烈，因为在死亡中，恶梦是最强烈的，他在那一刻只有痛苦：死亡和没有未来。 如果没有未来，那么你就无法做梦，因为梦需要移动的空间、时间。那就是为什么死亡看起来是如此危险，因为它没有时间来思想，你不可能有希望，因为没有明天。死亡并没有扼杀你，它只是扼杀了明天，而明天曾经是你的存在，你从来没有活在今天，你总是被明天所延误，而死亡扼杀了明天，它只是烧毁了你的日历——突然间时钟停止了，时间凝固了。 没有时间你能做什么呢？头脑怎么能思想、欲望和梦想呢？死亡关闭了那扇门——那就是恐惧。 为什么死亡会使你如此害怕、如此颤抖和如此恐惧呢？因为那看上去无法超越，没有逃避它的可能性，你无能为力，因为你无法思想，而你只知道一件事——思想，没别的。你的整个一生一直就是一个思想。现在死亡不允许思想。只有一直在静心着的人，他在死亡之前就已经意识到没有思想，他才不会害怕——因为他知道思想不是生命。 他知道存在的不同的空间，他知道深度不是存在的广度，他不是从这一刻到那一刻，他不是从今天移到了明天。他只是在此刻走得越来越深，越来越深；在今天，越来越深，越来越深。他此时此地正在进入那个深度！ 你接触到这一刻，然后你进入另一刻，你是在水平上运动：从A到B，从B到C，从C到D。而一个静心的人是从A1到A2到A3——在深度中——不是到B。他没有明天，这个此时此地就是唯一的存在，对他来讲怎么会死呢？这一刻你是活的，下一刻你就会死。这一刻没有人曾经死过，这一刻你是活的，这个静心的人进入了这一刻——他怎么会死呢？ 死亡会在外围发生，他开始意识到它，这就像你开始认识了一个邻居，谁是死亡：他开始意识到它，身体是死的——这还会有一个新的。甚至，他也许会为身体感到悲伤，但是他并不会死。 蜷川是一个正在开悟边缘的静心者，但是还有执著。你能一下跳入深渊，可是你却还会执著于一条藤蔓——你会一直抓着，害怕着。你几乎在深渊里了，迟早你会跌入，但是还有那么一刻，头脑会说："抓住！"他在抓着经典、佛陀、语言、教义，他还在重复着知识。只是一根藤蔓——他不得不迟早离开这条藤蔓，因为当生命离开你时，你怎么还能保留着语言呢？它们会离你而去。 由于这个一休的开示，他领悟了，他放弃了执著，他微笑着，便去世了。 你从来不会微笑，你不是哭就是笑，但是你从来不会微笑。微笑只是在中间，对你来讲这很难。你不是哭就是笑—— 两极是可能的。要去发现这个微笑的现象是什么。 只有佛陀微笑，因为他就在中间。在微笑中包含着眼泪的悲伤和笑的幸福这两者。微笑中有这两者。微笑从来不只是笑而已：它有笑的广度和悲伤的深度——它是两者。看看佛陀，对着他静心，你会看见在他脸上有悲伤和幸福这两者，他流动着的存在的祝福和一种很深的默然的悲伤。 由于这两种化学成份，所以说，微笑是被制造出来的，当你为每个人感到悲伤时，当你为整个存在感到悲伤时，因为他们没有必要受苦……你无法想象佛陀的悲伤，这对你来讲有难度。你只以为佛陀是快乐的。他就他自己而言是快乐的，但是对于你们呢？你无法相信他的难处——因为他看见你们，你们正不必要地受苦，却又无法做什么，你们也无法得到帮助。没有病并且无可救药！他知道那只是在角落里，只要你的存在转个向，一切都好了。但是你不会转那个向。你会跳，会做很多事，但是你总是错过那个转向。你会在黑暗中摸索，但无论怎样，你总是奇迹般地错过那扇门，你知道怎样错过那扇门，对此你是很完美的：你会怎样错过那扇门而总是一直去摸索。 佛陀很为难，因为他意识到你里面已经有的东西，同样的祝福，同样的美丽和同样的狂喜！他有，你也有。而你一直在哭泣，你一直在捶胸顿足，你一直在这样的痛苦中—— 而又无能为力。一种悲伤…… 据说，当佛陀到达了那扇门时——最终的、超越的无门之门，你无法返回了，那是终极的——当他到达了涅魋之门时，那扇门为他敞开着欢迎他，因为在几百万年中，只有这一次有人到达了终极，但是他转过身，背朝着门，看着世界——他们说，他一动不动地站着，他没有进入那扇门。 门卫问："你在干什么？你已经为此努力了很多、很多辈子了！现在门开着，进来吧！" 佛陀说："除非每个人都脱离痛苦而进入这扇门，否则，我不会进入，我会是最后一个进入。"——这就是悲伤。 这个故事真美，没有人能够站在终极的门上，那是真的。那扇门并不存在，也没有门卫。你跌倒了，那是你自己无法停止的。那个故事很美，那是用了一种象征的方法来显示佛陀的意识——烦恼、他的苦楚、他的痛苦，这并不是他的痛苦，是别人的痛苦使他悲伤。 就好像你已经醒了，而每个人都沉睡着；他们正在做梦，做着恶梦——尖叫着、跳着、哭泣着、流着泪。而你知道这些只是恶梦，但是这些人是如此沉醉，如此酣睡，你无能为力。如果你试着叫醒他们，他们会愤怒。他们说："为什么你不让我们睡觉？你是谁？" 你无法唤醒他们，你不得不看着他们受苦而痛苦！佛陀是悲伤的——为了你们。 佛陀笑得很深，他的整个存在充满了笑——就像一棵已经开花的树，一切都成了一种舞蹈。而这两者在他里而相会了：笑的涟漪一直在洋溢着——而他因为你们仍然无法笑——你们制造出了那个悲伤，它们这两者相遇了，这个相遇制造了一种微笑。微笑是笑和泪这两者的相遇。 你无法微笑——你能够笑，你能够哭。当你哭时，你怎么能够笑呢？因为哭，它总是为自己的，它是一元的。当你笑时，你就笑，你怎么能够哭呢？——因为笑是为你自己的。就佛陀里面，自我已经消失，现在他不再存在了，那个相遇会与一切共同发生。两种元素相遇了：他的意识已经是完美的，周围所有几百万种的意识是完美的，痛苦——不必要的痛苦，没有理由的痛苦——这两者相遇了，一种悲伤和快乐的微笑浮现在他的脸上。 他无法哭，因为你们正在做的是这样的愚蠢；他也无法笑，因为会给你们打击太大了。他最多只能微笑。就是这样，所以微笑成了一个开悟的人的象征。 一休的话已经很清楚地显示了那条路，以至于蜷川微笑着，然后便去世了。 但是，这并不是一种死亡，只是一种经过——经过另一个世界，经过另一次出生。没有人会死。如果你能带着微笑去死，那么你就懂得了死亡的艺术，而整个宗教就是在于死亡的艺术，除此之外，没有别的。 现在我要重复我们开始的第一个故事，好让我们不会忘记它……这么容易忘记，而你愿意忘记它：忘记是一种诡计。 这十天中，我们一直在谈："没有水，没有月亮。"这还只是一种谈话——语言、语言还是语言——如果你还不准备去死的话。躺到你临终的床上！当作蜷川！那时这些话会非常清晰，一休的话不用再说了！我要告诉你：这些话是这样的清楚，一休的话就不用再说了，你也能微笑着，然后去世——记住： 尼姑千代野学习了很多年，但仍然没能开悟。 一天晚上，她正提着盛满水的旧木桶，当她正走着，她看着映照在水桶里的满月。 突然，竹编的水桶箍断了，水桶散了架，水全跑了出来，水中之月消失了——而千代野开悟了。 之后，她写下了这首诗： This way and that way, I did my best to keep the bucket intact, Expect the fragile bamboo to never break. Suddenly, the bottom of the bucket collapsed, no more water, 再没有水中之月—— It's empty in my hand. 与你手中的空在一起，因为那就是一切……那就是我能给你的一切，没有比那更伟大的。这就是我的礼物：与你手中的空在一起。如果你能在你手中带着空，那么一切都会成为可能。不要带着财产，不要带着知识，不要带着装满东西的罐头，要成为水，因为那时你只会看见那个映照。在财富中，在财产中，在房子中，在汽车中，在声望中，你只有看见那个满月的影子，而满月却正等待着你。 让桶底塌掉！不要试图用这个方法和那个方法来保护木桶！它是没有价值的，不要保护你自己，它是没有价值的！就让木桶坏掉，让水流出来，让水中之月消失，因为只有那样你才有能力使你的眼睛朝向真实的月亮，它始终在天空中——但是需要手中之空。变得越来越多的空，越来越以为自己是空，行动要越来越空。渐渐地、渐渐地，你会尝到它的滋味。一旦滋味来了，它是这样的美妙。 一旦你知道空的滋味，你也就知道了生命的意义。带着空，扔掉你自我的、你头脑的、你思想的水桶。记住：没有水，没有月亮——空在手中。