Chapter 19 Chapter 2 Emotions and Pain-1

It is inappropriate to ask a Buddhist "What is the purpose of life?"Because this question implies that somewhere, maybe in a cave or on a mountain, there is an ultimate purpose.It seems that we can unlock this secret by following the saints, reading books, and familiarizing ourselves with esoteric practices.If the question is assuming that some person or god devised a chart of life's purpose eons ago, then it is a theistic view.Buddhists do not believe in an omnipotent creator, and they do not believe that the purpose of life has been or should be determined and defined. A more appropriate question for Buddhists is "What is life?".From what we know about impermanence, the answer to this question should be pretty obvious: life is one gigantic combined phenomenon, and therefore life is impermanent.It is a collection of ever-changing, ephemeral experiences.Although there are all kinds of life forms, the common denominator is that no life wishes to suffer.We all want to be happy, whether it's the president, the billionaire, or the hard-working ants, bees, shrimps, and butterflies, we all want to be happy.

Of course, among these life forms, the definitions of pain and happiness are very different, even in the relatively small human realm.What defines pain for some is happiness for others, and vice versa.To some it is happiness just to survive, to others it is happiness to have seven hundred shoes.Some people would be happy if they had a Beckham tattoo on their arm.When one's happiness depends on enjoying a shark's fin, a leg, or a tiger's penis, the price of happiness is another life.Some people find it sexy to scratch with a feather, others prefer cheese graters, whips and chain rings.Edward VIII of England would rather marry a divorced American woman than wear the crown of the British Empire.

Even within individuals, definitions of pain and pleasure change from time to time.A flirtatious moment of flirtation that can be suddenly shifted because one of the people wants a more serious relationship, anticipation turning to fear.Building sandcastles on the beach is fun when you're a kid.Watching girls in bikinis and surfing with shirtless boys was a joy in the teenage years.In middle age, money and career are joy.When you're in your eighties, collecting ceramic salt shakers is joy.For many, the constant adjustment to these endless and ever-changing definitions of happiness is "life's purpose."

Many of us learn our definitions of pleasure and pain from the societies in which we live, and the social order dictates the standards by which we measure contentment.This is a common set of values.People from opposite ends of the world can experience the exact same emotion—pleasure, disgust, or fear—based on completely opposite cultural indicators of happiness.Chicken feet are a Chinese delicacy, while the French like to spread fatty duck liver on toast.Imagine what the world would be like if capitalism never existed in the world, and every country and everyone practiced Mao Zedong's pragmatic communist philosophy: we would happily live without shopping malls, without luxury cars , no Starbucks, no competition, no wealth gap, a society with universal healthcare.And bicycles are worth more than Humvees.However, our desires are learned.A decade ago, in the remote Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan, VCRs were a sign of affluence.Gradually, the Toyota Landcruiser club replaced the VCR club as the ultimate vision of prosperity and happiness in Bhutan.

This habit of treating group standards as personal standards begins at an early age.In first grade, you saw that other students had some kind of pencil case.You develop a "need" to have the same pencil case as everyone else.You tell your mother, and whether or not she buys you that pencil case determines your happiness level.This habit continues into adulthood.The next-door neighbor has a TV or a brand-new luxury SUV, so you should have the same—but bigger and newer.Desiring and competing to have what others have also exists on a cultural level.We often value the customs and traditions of other cultures more highly than our own.Recently, a teacher in Taiwan decided to grow her hair long, an ancient custom in China.He looks dignified and elegant, like an ancient Chinese warrior, but the principal threatens to expel him if he doesn't follow the "rules"—meaning short, Western-style hair.Now he has his hair cut short and looks as if he's been electrocuted.

It is surprising to see Chinese people feel self-conscious about their cultural roots.But in Asia we can see more superiority/inferiority like this.On the one hand, Asians are proud of their culture, but on the other hand, feel that their culture is a bit repulsive or backward.In almost all aspects of life, they substitute Western culture—behaviour, clothing, music, moral codes, and even the Western political system. Both personally and culturally, we resort to foreign and external means of obtaining pleasure and overcoming pain, without understanding that these means often backfire.Our misfit brings new pain.Because not only are we still suffering, but we feel more alienated from our own lives and unable to fit into the system.

Some cultural definitions of happiness are useful to some degree.In general, having a little money in the bank account, a comfortable place to live, enough food, good shoes, and other basics of life do make us happy.But sadhus in India and hermits in Tibet are happy because they don't need a key ring—they don't have to fear their property being stolen because there's nothing to lock up.