Chapter 14 Chapter 1 Artificiality and Impermanence-8

It is of great benefit to us to understand the principle of harmony, to understand that there are so many phenomena involved in even hard-boiling an egg.When we learn to see the cohesive parts of everything and every situation, we can learn to cultivate tolerance, understanding, openness and fearlessness.For example, some people still believe that Mark Chapman was the only criminal who murdered John Lennon.If our celebrity-worship wasn't so serious, perhaps Chapman wouldn't have had the absurd idea of ​​killing Lannon.By his own admission twenty years later, when he shot Lannon, he did not see him as a real human being.And his mental instability was the result of a combination of many factors (brain chemistry, childhood upbringing, America's mental health care system, etc.).When we can understand how a sick and tormented mind is formed, and know what kind of conditions it operates in, we will be more able to understand and forgive the Mark Chapman of the world.When the conditions are right, like hard-boiled eggs, even if we pray that the assassination will not happen, it will still be inevitable.Beyond a certain point, our attempts and actions to change conditions are futile.

But even if we understand, we may still be afraid of the unpredictable Chapman.Fear and anxiety are major psychological states in the human mind.Behind the fear is a constant desire for certainty.We are terrified of the unknown.The human mind's longing for certainty is rooted in our fear of impermanence. Fearlessness arises when you are aware of uncertainty, when you are convinced that these interrelated elements cannot remain constant and unchanging.You will find that you are truly ready for the worst while allowing the best to happen.You will become noble and dignified.This quality enhances your ability to work, fight, talk, raise a family, or enjoy love and relationships.Knowing that there is something waiting for you around the next turn, like a wise general, you know what to do and don't panic.

For Siddhartha, without impermanence, there would be no development or progress.Dumbo also understands this truth.When he was a child, he was ostracized because of his big ears. He was lonely, depressed and worried about being kicked out of the circus.But it was later discovered that its "deformity" allows it to fly, which is unique and precious.It became wildly popular.If it had believed in impermanence earlier, it would not have suffered so much in the beginning.Awareness of impermanence is the key to freeing us from the fear of being trapped in a situation, habit, or pattern from which we can never escape.

The relationship between men and women is the most variable, and it is also the best example of the impermanence of harmony.Some couples think they can do it through reading books or marriage counseling.To maintain the "until death" relationship.Knowing that men are from Mars and women are from Venus can only resolve some of the obvious elements of marital discord.To some extent, these small understandings may bring temporary harmony, but they fail to take into account the many hidden factors in marriage and relationship.If we could see what we haven't seen, we might be able to enjoy the perfect relationship, or never develop a relationship in the first place.

Applying Siddhartha's understanding of impermanence to the relationship between a man and a woman reminds us of the joy described in Juliet's profound words to Romeo."Parting is such a sweet sadness...," she said.Parting is often the most profound experience in the relationship between men and women.The karma of each relationship will be more cherished and understood.This is even stronger when the other half suffers from an incurable disease.There is no fantasy of "forever and ever", but an unexpected relief: our care and love become unconditional, and the joy is always in the present.When the other half's life is limited, we will more naturally and willingly give love and support.

But we often forget that our future is always limited.Even though we intellectually know that there is life and death, and that all that comes together eventually falls apart, our emotional state often slips back into a pattern of believing in permanence, forgetting about interdependence altogether.This habit can create all kinds of negative situations like paranoia, loneliness, guilt and so on.We can feel cheated, threatened, abused, left out, as if the world is only unfair to us.