Chapter 27 APPENDIX THREE TWO STORIES

My students and friends in the West have told me so many thought-provoking stories about how people they know have been helped by the Dharma at the time of their death.Let me tell you the story of two students who faced death. Dorothy died of cancer in the hospice ward of St Christopher's Hospital in London.She was a talented artist, embroidery expert, art historian, tour guide, and color therapist.His father is also a therapist, and she has great respect for various religious and spiritual traditions.She came into contact with Buddhism late in life and, as she puts it, became "fascinated" by it.She said that the Dharma gave her the strongest and most complete view of the nature of reality.Let us hear from fellow practitioners who cared for her on her deathbed, describing how the Dharma helped her face death:

Dorothy's death was very instructive for all.She died with great grace and dignity and her strength was felt by everyone who came into contact with her, whether it was the doctors, nurses, assistants, other patients or fellow practitioners who were fortunate enough to die in her final weeks can be with her. Before Dorothy was hospitalized, when we visited her at home, we knew that the cancer had spread everywhere and her internal organs were failing.For more than a year she has been on morphine for pain, and now she can hardly eat or drink anything; yet she never complains, so it is impossible to see her pain.She grew thin, and tires easily; but when people came to visit, she welcomed them warmly, chatted with them, and exuded an air of cheerfulness, serenity, and familiarity.Her favorite thing is to lie on the sofa and listen to the tapes of Sogyal Rinpoche's teachings. When Rinpoche sends some tapes that have special meaning to her from Paris, she is often overjoyed.

Dorothy made careful preparations and planning for her own death.She didn't want any unfinished business to be dealt with by others, so she spent several months working on them.She has almost no fear of death, and just wants to get everything done so that she can concentrate on facing death.She takes comfort in the fact that she has never really hurt anyone in her life, and she also believes in practicing the teachings, as she says "I have done my homework". When the time came, Dorothy had to go to the ward, and to leave the home that had been filled with collections for many years, she took only a few things with her and left without looking back.She gave away most of her belongings, except for a picture of Rinpoche and a small book on meditation.She simplifies life into a small bag, as she said: "Package light".She took her leaving for granted, as if she was just out shopping.Just say "goodbye, my home." Wave your hand and walk out the door.

Her ward at the hospital became a very special place.On the small table next to the bed, there was a photo of Rinpoche, and candles were always lit in front of the photo.When someone asks her if she wants to talk to Rinpoche, she smiles, looks at the photo, and says, "No, he's always here!" She often refers to what Rinpoche said about creating a "right environment." , so she hung a beautiful picture of a rainbow on the wall, facing her, and there were always many flowers sent to her by friends in the room. Dorothy was in control of situations to the end, and her faith in the Sharia was unwavering.The whole process seemed to be that she was helping us, not us helping her.She was always cheerful, confident, and good-humored, with a gravitas that came through in her courage and confidence.She welcomes us with perpetual joy and teaches us that death doesn't have to be gloomy and scary.It was a gift from her and we feel honored to be with her.

Instead, we were almost all dependent on Dorothy for her strength, so it was suddenly embarrassing to know that she needed our support.As she was planning the details of the funeral, it dawned on us that, after caring for everyone, all she needed now was to sort things out so she could focus on herself.She needs us to let her do it too. Her death was difficult and painful, and Dorothy was a warrior.She dealt with the pain as much as she could on her own, without bothering the nurses, until her body gave up.Once, when she was still able to get up, the nurse gently asked her if she wanted to use the toilet.She struggled, then smiled and said "Look at this body!" We saw that she was just skin and bones.Although her body is getting weaker and weaker, her spirit is getting more and more radiant.She seems to understand that the body has completed its task: it no longer belongs to her, it is only a temporary residence and must be discarded at any time.

Although there was an air of lightness and joy surrounding it, Dorothy's death was actually hard work.She also went through a lot of gloom and pain, but overcame it with great serenity and perseverance.After a night of coma and agony, she feared she might die at any moment unaccompanied, so asked us to have someone with her at all times.We started a 24-hour rotation guard. Dorothy practiced every day, and her favorite was Vajrasattva's purification method.Rinpoche advised her to read the teachings on death, including the basic phowa.Sometimes we sit together and read aloud to her; sometimes we chant Guru Rinpoche's mantra; sometimes we just sit in meditation.She would doze off sometimes and wake up and say, "Oh, that's great!" When she was in better spirits and willing, we would read to her passages from the bardo teachings to help her remember what she was about to experience. stage.We were all amazed by her clarity, but she only wanted to practice in the most basic and simple way.When we come to change shifts, we will all be moved by the peaceful atmosphere in the ward.Dorothy lay there, her eyes wide open, staring into space, even when she was sleeping.The person who took care of her chanted a mantra softly.

Rinpoche would call from time to time to inquire about the condition, and they were quite comfortable talking about how close they were to death.Dorothy would ask frankly about her situation, such as "It's over in a few days."One day the nurse pushed in the telephone trolley and said, "Long distance call from Amsterdam." Dorothy talked to Rinpoche with gleam in her eyes and joy.After hanging up the phone, she told us that Rinpoche told her not to read any more now, but to "live in the nature of mind, in the light." When she was dying, she received a call from Rinpoche for the last time, and she said that Rinpoche Tell her: "Don't forget about us, come and see us when you have time!"

Once the doctor came to round the ward and adjust the medicine, she explained in a very simple and straightforward way: "You know, I am a Buddhist disciple, and we believe that when we die, we will see a lot of light. I believe I Already starting to see some flickering lights, but I don’t think I’ve really seen it yet.” The doctors were amazed at her lucidity and vibrancy, saying that with a condition like hers, you’re usually unconscious. As death approached, Dorothy gradually lost sight of day and night and sank deeper and deeper into herself.We can roughly see the signs of the disintegration of the four major elements, her complexion began to change, and her waking hours became less and less.Dorothy was ready to go, but her body didn't give up because her heart was still strong, so each night was a test, and she woke up the next morning usually surprised to have lived another day.She never complained, but we can understand that she suffered a lot.We did our best to make her comfortable, and when she could no longer drink, we moistened her lips with water.Until the last thirty-six hours, she declined any medication to keep her awake.

Nurses move Dorothy's body as she nears death.She curls into a fetal position.Her body was so emaciated that she had no strength to move or speak, her eyes were still wide open, staring straight ahead, looking out the window at the sky from where she lay.At the last moment before she died, she moved slightly, looked into Debbie's eyes, and communicated a message with a firm look, as if saying: "It's time", with a slight smile, Then look back at the void, take one or two breaths in turn, and leave.Debby gently lowered Dorothy's hand, allowing her to continue the inner disintegration undisturbed.

The hospice staff all said they had never seen anyone so prepared for death as Dorothy.One year later, her expression and inspiration are still unforgettable for everyone. Rick lives in Oregon and has AIDS.He used to be a computer operator.A few years ago, when he was forty-five years old, he came to my summer retreat in the United States and told us about the meaning of death, life, and disease to him.I was amazed that Rick had such an understanding after studying Buddhism with me for two years.In this short period of time, in his own way, he has mastered the essence of the teachings: respect, compassion, and the "view" of the nature of mind, and has integrated these into his life.Rick sits in a chair, facing us, and expresses his feelings about death.With these words, I hope to convey this touching scene:

Two years ago, when I knew I was going to die, I did a natural reaction: cry.And I got an answer.It's helped me get through the weeks of high fevers where I felt like I was going in the middle of the night several times...the respect, the crying...when it's all you can do , we have the promise of Guru Rinpoche that he will be there to help everyone.He didn't break his word either, he confirmed it to me several times. If it weren't for Guru Rinpoche - Rinpoche said he is in our heart nature, that is, our Buddha nature; if it weren't for that solemn and brilliant presence, I would not be able to bear what I have passed through.I know there is absolutely nothing I can do. The first thing I learned was that I had to be responsible to myself.The reason I was dying was because I had AIDS.That was my own responsibility, and I couldn't blame anyone; in fact, not even myself.I accept this responsibility. I swear to myself, and to any gods I may have, that I will live happily ever after, before I touch disintegration.After making this decision, I insisted on pursuing it.This is very important in any method of training the mind; you must first make up your mind to change, and if you don't want to change, no one can change for you. Our task...is to deal with everyday situations.Start by being grateful that you are in this body, on this earth.This is my beginning - grateful to the earth, grateful to all beings.Now I feel the loss of things around me, and I feel more grateful for everyone and everything.So my current practice is focused on gratitude, and I continue to offer admiration for life, and admiration for the omnipresent Guru Rinpoche. Don't mistakenly think that "practice" is just sitting upright and chanting mantras, as I have been doing for many years.Practice is much more than that.Practice is how to face everyone you meet, practice is how to deal with the bad words that are directed at you. When you stand up from a sitting position, that is the beginning of your practice.How to apply the practice in life requires art and creative thinking.There are certain things in life that can be used to help the practice.For example, I was too dizzy to visualize Vajrasattva, so I stood up to wash the dishes, imagined that the dishes in my hands were the whole world and suffering beings, and recited the mantra... Om Ban Zasattva Hum..., trying to help sentient beings Wash away suffering; when I take a shower, imagine that the light of Vajrasattva washes away my sins like water; when I go outdoors, the sun shines down like the light of Vajrasattva and enters my body ;When I see a beautiful woman walking down the street, I may think at first, "What a beautiful woman!" But I will immediately offer my sincere offering to Guru Rinpoche and let it go.We must practice in our daily life, otherwise it is just empty belief, "One day I will go to heaven; one day I will become a Buddha." However, it is not that one day you will become a Buddha, because you are now a Buddha; Practicing being who you are.... It is important to use the situations in your daily life to practice your practice.As Rinpoche used to say, if you practice supplication and asking for help, then in the bardo stage you will naturally do the same....I compiled the words of Dudjom Rinpoche into a mantra: "O great compassionate master who cannot be repaid! I will always remember you." Sometimes, I can only think of this sentence, which is the only practice I can do at that time, but It works. So... be happy, be responsible, be grateful... don't confuse a rigid, ritualistic practice with a living, changeable, flowing, open, glorious practice.My experience tells me -- it sounds like talk, but it's not -- that I see Guru Rinpoche everywhere, and that's my practice.Everyone, especially those who are troublesome, who make life unpleasant and painful for those around them, is a blessing to me from my guru.Later, I also thought that this disease was blessed by the master, and it was a blessing.I can appreciate such a great honor in detail. I deliberately trained myself to do this.In the past, I often liked to criticize things and criticize others; I also liked to complain about this and that.In the early days when I decided to start training myself, there were often constant comments in my mind; I decided to change and put a small note on the refrigerator door, telling myself "Don't criticize!" If your heart is always divided: "This is good—this is not good, I don't want to...", always wandering between expectation and fear, between love and hate, between happiness and sadness, When you cling to these extremes, your mind is disturbed.A Zen master once said: "There is no difficulty in the ultimate path, but there is no choice." It means that wherever your Buddha nature is, happiness will be there. So, I started working on my conceptual mind.It seemed impossible at first, but the more I practiced, the more I found out: If you keep your thoughts where they are and don't get attached, there will be no problems.Just live in harmony with them and be happy because you know that you have Buddha-nature within yourself. Don't feel whether you have Buddha nature or not, that's not the point.The key point is trust and confidence; the key point is respect, that is, complete conviction.If you have faith in your guru, are willing to work hard, and when you encounter difficulties, find a way to bring the teachings to yourself, train your mind not to repeat the habits of the past, if you can get along with what is happening peacefully, Don't pay too much attention, after a while you'll find that nothing lasts too long; the same goes for troubles.Especially our physical body, all things will change, if you just let them go, they will be liberated naturally. In my current situation, when fear is so evident that I feel as if I am being swallowed up by it, I must master my heart.I learned that fear doesn't kill me, it's just a thought passing through my mind, and as long as I don't touch it, the thought will free itself.I also learned that the bardo state is the same, that when you see some terrible situation coming towards you, it is not actually coming from anywhere else, but from your own heart!It is the release of all the pent-up energy in our bodies. When I was training my mind, I found that there is a point, there is a line you have to draw, and you can't let yourself go beyond it.If it exceeds, you may have psychological problems, you will become depressed, or depressed, or worse, even go crazy.Some people think that what their heart is telling them is the truth, and it turns out to be unbalanced, even crazy.We've all had this experience, but beyond a certain line you can't go any further... I've had panic attacks, like there's a big black hole in the ground right in front of me.But when I reminded myself not to think like that, and to be happy at all times, I stopped seeing black holes. Some people are closer to me than family.Because you have brought Guru Rinpoche to me in another way, through caring, concern and love.You don't seem to care that I have AIDS. No one ever asks, "Hey, how did you get it?" No one ever despises me as a curse on me.Only an old friend asked me on the phone the other day, "Aren't you afraid that this will be God's punishment for you?" I laughed and said to him, "You think God cursed the world and people are sinners. I believe (God's) intention is to bless, not to curse." From beginningless time all things have been whole, pure, and perfect. So now I live only in the light.It's everywhere, and you can't live without it.It's so beautiful, sometimes I feel as if I'm floating in light.When Guru Rinpoche was flying in the heart sky, I let him take me away. If I were in the audience, maybe I would ask, "Okay! But why isn't your disease cured?" Someone asked me the same question.It's not that I don't try to heal, I try my best.Now that I don't ask myself that question anymore, I think that would become a coercive manipulation, or interference with a process that had already started; the process was very purifying for me, and I realized that a lot of bad karma was being eliminated.I dedicate blessings to my mother, who has suffered a lot, and hope to clear her bad karma; I also dedicate blessings to some fellow practitioners who are like brothers and sisters who are suffering.I have an agreement with Guru Rinpoche: If I can purify part of the suffering I suffer here and give it to my relatives and friends, what a blessing it is!This is my prayer.I can assure you that I am by no means a person who likes to suffer!But I feel that majesty, that blessing, gently pushing me to suffer. It was at this moment that I learned about the bardo teachings from Rinpoche, that death is not the enemy; just as thoughts should not be the enemy.Life is not the enemy, life is glorious because in this life we ​​can awaken to our true nature. I sincerely remind you, when you are still quite healthy, don't waste the opportunity, do what Rinpoche taught you..., you will teach you Dzogchen, and he will lead you to that state.This is very important, especially when you are facing death. I'm here to say goodbye to everyone.I knew I probably wouldn't live six months.So, I keep you all in my heart, and I see you all bright and shining.There is no darkness there, only the light in the heart of Guru Rinpoche, shining on everyone.Thank you master for your blessing. (Om Ah Hum Banza Guru Padma Siddhi Hum) (Om Ah HUm VAJRa GURu PADMa SIDDHi HUM) (Pronounced Om Ah Hung Benza Guru Pema Siddhi Hung in Tibetan)