Chapter 15 Chapter 13 Spiritual Help for the Dying

In the early 1970s, I came to the West for the first time.It baffles me deeply that in modern Western civilization there is little spiritual help for the dying.In Tibet, as I have already pointed out, everyone knows more or less the sublime truths of Buddhism and has some kind of relationship with a guru.No one dies without being more or less assisted by the community.I have heard stories of many Westerners who died in solitude, agony and disappointment, without any spiritual help; my main motivation for writing this book was to spread the healing wisdom of Tibet to all Humanity.When people die, don't they have the right to be treated with dignity not only physically, but more importantly spiritually?Isn't the right to die with the best spiritual care a basic human right in a civilized society?Before this kind of end-of-life care becomes the accepted norm, are we really entitled to call ourselves "civilized people"?What's the real point of technology that puts a man on the moon when we don't know how to help those facing death with dignity and hope?

Spiritual care is not a luxury for the few; it is everyone's right, as important as political freedom, medical assistance, and equal opportunity.The ideal of true democracy, in its basic concept, should include the provision of considerable spiritual care for everyone. Wherever I go in Western countries, I am amazed to find that the fear of death produces great psychological distress, whether the fear is acknowledged or not.How reassuring it would be to know that they were lovingly attended to as they lay there waiting to die!People suffering from incurable diseases are terrified at the thought of being discarded as waste, and it is cruel that Western culture is so incapable of coping with death and denying any spiritual value.In Tibet, praying for the dying and giving them spiritual care is a natural response; in the West, the only spiritual attention most people give the dying is to attend their funeral.

To be left behind in people's most vulnerable moments, with little support or care; it's a tragedy and a shame, and it must improve.Unless everyone dies with some degree of peace; unless some effort is made to achieve it, the power, the achievement, the pride of modern man will be empty and unreal. At the bedside of the dying: A friend of mine graduated from a prestigious medical school and started working at a large London hospital.On the first day, four or five people died in the ward.To her, it was a horrible thing; she had never been trained to deal with death.Isn't it terrible that her doctor education did not give this kind of training?There was an old man lying on a hospital bed, staring at the wall alone with wide-eyed eyes. There were no relatives or friends to visit, and he longed for someone to talk to.She went to see him.The old man's eyes filled with tears, and in a trembling voice she asked a question she had never expected: "Do you think God will forgive my sins?" My friend didn't know how to answer; Question preparation.She has nothing to say and can only hide behind her professional status as a physician.With no priest nearby, she stood there paralyzed, unable to answer the patient's pleas for help and affirmation of meaning in life.

In pain and bewilderment, she asked me, "If it were you, how would you answer?" I told her that I would sit next to the old man, hold his hand, and let him talk.I've been amazed over and over again; just let her talk, and listen with compassion and attention, and they say things of great spiritual depth, even if they don't have any spiritual beliefs.Everyone has his own life wisdom, and when you let the other person speak, you are letting this life wisdom emerge.I have often been moved to discover that each person can be of great help to the other in helping them to discover their own truths in a richness, sweetness, and depth that they never expected.Deep within every human being, there are sources of healing and awakening; your job is, under no circumstances, to impose your beliefs on others, but to allow them to discover these sources within themselves.

When you sit next to the dying person, believe that you are sitting next to someone who has the potential to become a Buddha.Imagine their Buddha-nature as a shining, flawless mirror, and their pain and anxiety as a thin layer of dust on the mirror that is quickly wiped away.This can help you see them as lovable and forgiving, and generate unconditional love from you; you will find that this attitude can open the dying person's heart to you. My teacher Dudjom Rinpoche used to say that helping the dying is like reaching out to someone who is about to fall, so that he will not fall.Your presence is the strength, peace and deep compassionate attention that can help the dying person awaken to their own strength.Your presence during this most vulnerable final moment of life is very important.As Cicely Saunders wrote: "The dying have stripped off the mask and the minutiae of everyday life, and are therefore far more open and sensitive than they were before. They can see through all illusions. I remember An old man said, 'No, don't read to me. I just want to know what's going on in your head and what's going on in your heart.'"

I will practice first, let myself sink into the sacred atmosphere of the mind, and then go to the bedside of the dying.Therefore, I can find compassion and sincerity without trying too hard, because they will naturally appear and shine. Remember, you can never inspire the person in front of you if you don't inspire yourself first.So when you don't know what to do, when you feel that there is little you can do to help, pray, visualize, invoke the Buddha or the divine power you believe in.When I face the person in front of me who is experiencing terrible pain, I will pray for the help of all Buddhas and enlightened beings, open my heart to the dying person in front of me, and generate compassion for their pain.I will wholeheartedly invite my masters, Buddhas, and enlightened beings who have special karma with me to show up.I focused my devotion and power of faith to see them gloriously above the dying, to gaze upon them with love, to infuse them with light and blessings, to purify their past sins and present pain.While I was doing it, I prayed that the person in front of me would stop suffering and find peace and liberation.

I do this with the deepest focus and sincerity, and then I try to settle in my nature, allowing its peace and light to permeate the atmosphere of the room.Many, many times, I have been awed by this sacred atmosphere, which can then naturally arise and in turn inspire the dying. I am now going to say something that may surprise you, death can be very instructive.In my experience with the dying, I have often been amazed at how much my prayers and prayers can change the atmosphere, and I myself have been amazed by how much such prayers and prayers and manifestations of the Buddhas have had. Efficacy, and deepen my faith.I found that my practice became very powerful at the bedside of the dying.

Sometimes I see the dying feel this deeply inspired atmosphere and appreciate the moments of true, transformative joy we share together. Giving hope and finding forgiveness: In terms of giving spiritual help to the dying, I make two points in particular: giving hope and finding forgiveness.When you are with the dying person, help them feel that life is constructive and joyful by constantly emphasizing what they have done well and accomplished.Focus on their virtues, not their failures.The dying person is prone to feelings of guilt, guilt, and disappointment; let them express these emotions freely, listen to him, and accept what he has to say.At the same time, when the time is right, remember to remind them that they also have Buddha nature, and encourage them to try to settle in the nature of mind through the practice of visualization; in particular, remind them that what they have is not just suffering; find the most skillful method To inspire them and give them hope.In this way, they will not always think about their mistakes, but can die more peacefully.

To that person's cry, "Do you think God will forgive my sin?" I would reply, "Forgiveness is inherent in the divine, and God has forgiven you, because God is forgiveness." Forgiveness is God.’ But can you really forgive yourself? That’s the question.” "You have this feeling of unforgiveness and unforgivability that makes you so miserable. This feeling only exists in your heart. Have you ever read reports or heard that in some near-death experiences, golden yellow Does that light lead to forgiveness? It is often said that in the end we are the ones who judge ourselves.”

"In order to be cleansed from your sins, you have to ask for cleansing from the bottom of your heart. If you ask for cleansing from the bottom of your heart and go through this stage, forgiveness is there. God will forgive you, as in the beautiful parable of Christ , Heavenly Father forgives the prodigal son. To help you forgive yourself, remember the good things you have done, forgive everyone in your life, and ask forgiveness for everyone you have ever hurt.” Not everyone is a formal religion, but I think almost everyone is a believer in forgiveness.It will help the dying infinitely if you can show them that death is a time of reconciliation and settlement.

Encourage them to reconcile with their loved ones and clear their hearts without leaving a trace of hatred or grudges.If they cannot see the person they are at odds with, suggest they call, or leave a recording or letter, asking for forgiveness.If they feel that they cannot be forgiven by the other person, it is best not to encourage them to confront that person directly; a negative reaction will only add to the existing pain.Sometimes people need time to forgive.Let them leave messages asking for forgiveness, and they at least die knowing they did their best.I have discovered time and time again that those whose hearts have been hardened by self-pity and guilt gain undeniable strength and peace from the simple act of asking for forgiveness. All religions value the power of forgiveness, and nowhere is this power more needed and most deeply felt than at the deathbed.By forgiving and being forgiven, the darkness of past actions is purified, and the journey of death is fully prepared. Find spiritual practice: If your dying relative or friend is familiar with a certain meditation practice, encourage him to stay in meditation as much as possible, and do meditation with him when death approaches.If the dying person is fully receptive to the idea of ​​practice, help him find a suitable and simple method, practice it with him as often as possible, and at the same time gently remind him of the method as death approaches. Your help at this critical moment must be imaginative and creative, because many things depend on it: if people can find a method to practice wholeheartedly, before or during death, it can change the whole atmosphere of dying.There are many levels of spiritual practice, use your insight and sensitivity to find the most relevant method, this method can be forgiveness, purification, dedication, or feel the presence of light or love.In helping him, first pray wholeheartedly for his success in practice, and for him to gain all the energy and faith to practice that method.I have found that even in the final stage of death a person can make amazing progress in his practice by a prayer, a mantra, or a simple visualization that has become attached to his heart. Stephen Levine tells the story of his counseling of a woman terminally ill with cancer.Although this dying person had a natural reverence for Jesus, she felt lost because she had left the church.Together they explore how they can strengthen that faith and reverence.She finally understood that what would best help her restore her relationship with Jesus Christ and find trust and confidence in her death was to keep saying this prayer, "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me." Saying this prayer opens In her heart, she began to feel that Christ was always with her. Basic Powa: I have found the Powa method to be the most important and powerful method of caring for the dying, and it is heartily loved by quite a few people.Phowa in Tibetan means transformation of consciousness.It has spread all over the world, including Australia, the United States and Europe.Thanks to its power, thousands of people have been given the opportunity to die solemnly.I am happy to introduce the heart of Powa to anyone who wants to practice it. Powa is a method that everyone can practice; it is simple and easy to practice, and it is also an important method for us to prepare for our own death. I often teach students to help dying or dead relatives and friends through Powa. practice one First, sit in a position that is comfortable for you, or lie down. Then, bring your mind back, be still, and completely relax. 1. Above before you, invite the embodiment of whatever truth you believe in, into a brilliant light.Choose any gods or saints you feel close to; if you are a Buddhist, invite the Buddha you feel connected to; if you are a Christian, feel God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus or the Virgin Mary alive.If you feel disconnected from any spiritual beings, just imagine a form of pure golden light appearing above you.The point is to think of the object or manifestation you are visualizing as an embodiment of the truth, wisdom and compassion of all the buddhas, sages, gurus and enlightened beings.Don't worry that you can't visualize them clearly, as long as you feel that they have appeared in your heart and believe that they really exist. 2. Then, focusing your mind and heart on the manifestation of the Holy One you have invoked, pray thus: Through your compassion, blessing and guidance, Through the power of the light that flows from you: May all my bad karma, afflictions, ignorance and karma be purified and eliminated, May all the hurts I have thought or done have been forgiven, May I achieve this profound phowa practice and die peacefully and beautifully, Through the victory of my death, may I benefit all beings. 3. Now imagine that the light you have called upon, deeply moved by your prayers, returns you with a loving smile, and from his heart shines the light of love and compassion.When these lights touch and penetrate your whole body, they wash and purify all your causes of suffering, bad karma, afflictions and karma.You see and feel your whole body immersed in the light. 4. Now that you have been completely purified and healed by the light, imagine your karma body fully dissolving into the light. 5. Your present light body rises into the sky and is inseparably combined with the auspicious light of the saint. 6. Maintain the state of combining with light, the longer the better. practice two 1. Practice Powa in an easier way.Begin by sitting quietly as before, and then invite the embodiment of truth to appear. 2. Imagine that your consciousness is in your heart, shooting out from your heart like a ball of light or a shooting star, and flying into the heart of the embodiment of truth in front of you. 3. When it dissolves, it becomes one with the embodiment of truth. Through this practice, putting your heart into the wisdom heart of the Buddha or Enlightened One is like melting your soul into God.Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche said it was like throwing a small stone into a lake; imagine it sinking deeper and deeper into the water.Imagine that through blessings, your heart is transformed into the wisdom heart of this Awakened Avatar. practice three The most essential phowa practice is to combine your mind with the wisdom mind that manifests itself purely.Imagine: "My heart and the Buddha's heart are one." Of these three methods, choose which one you feel more comfortable with or that appeals most to you at the time.Sometimes the most powerful practices can be the simplest ones.No matter which method you choose, the most important thing is to take the time to become familiar with it now.Otherwise, how can you have the confidence to know how to practice Dharma when you or someone else is about to die?My master Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche wrote, "If you can visualize and practice in this way often, it will be easier to practice at the time of death." In fact, you have to practice phowa to such a degree that it becomes a natural reflex, second nature to you.If you have seen the movie "Gandhi", you can know that when he was assassinated, he immediately called out "Ram...Ram!" In Hinduism, Ram is the holy name of God.Remember that we will never know how we will die, or whether we will have time to recall either method at leisure.For example, if we collide with a truck at a hundred miles an hour on the highway, where do we have timing?At that time, there was not a second to think about how to practice Powa.We are either familiar with phowa or we are not.Here's an easy way to test it: When you're faced with an important situation or moment of crisis, like an earthquake or a dream, what's your gut reaction?Do you immediately think of phowa?If yes, how stable is your practice and how strong is your faith? I remember an American student who rode out one day and was thrown off by the horse. Her feet got entangled in the stirrups, and she was dragged along the road by the horse.At that time, she was so frightened that her mind went blank. Although she tried her best to recall a certain method, it was useless.She was terrified.This scare helped her understand that she had to master the technique to make it second nature to her.This is a lesson she must learn; indeed, it is a lesson all of us must learn.To the best of your ability, practice phowa until you are sure that you will respond to any unforeseen event with it.This guarantees that no matter when death comes, you will know it well. Using Powa to help the dying: How can we use powa to help the dying? The principles and sequence of the practice are exactly the same, the only difference is that you have to visualize the Buddha or god on the dying person's head: Imagine the light pouring down on him, purifying him, and then he dissolves into the light, fully united with the manifestation. Do full phowa for your dear one when he is sick; especially (and most importantly) when he breathes out his last breath, or before the body is moved or disturbed after breathing stops.If the dying person knows that you are going to practice this method for him, and also understands its principles, it will definitely become a great source of enlightenment and peace. Sit quietly next to the dying person, offering a candle or a lamp in front of a statue of Buddha, Christ or the Virgin Mary.Then, do phowa for them.You can do it quietly, and the dying person doesn't even need to know; if he can accept it, do it with him, and explain to him how to do it. People often ask me, "If my dying relative is a Christian and I am a Buddhist, is there any conflict?" How can there be conflict?I told them: You are invoking the truth, both Christ and Buddha are the embodiment of compassion of truth, they just appear in different ways to help sentient beings. I strongly recommend to doctors and nurses that they also do powa for dying patients.If those who take care of the dying can also practice Powa, how much the atmosphere in the hospital will change!I remember when I was a child, when Samten died, my guru and other monks were practicing for him.How powerful and sublime that is!My deepest prayer is that everyone can have the same blessing and peace when he dies. From the traditional Tibetan practice for the dying, I have specially compiled this basic Powa practice, which covers all the most important principles.Therefore, it is not only a phowa practice for the dying, but can also be used for purification and healing; it is as important for the living as for the sick.If the person has hope of healing, it can help to heal; if the person is about to die, it can help him to die safely; if the person is dead, it can continue to purify his mind. If you are not sure whether a seriously ill relative or friend will survive, you can do Powa for him every time you visit him.When you get home, fix it again.The more you practice, the more your dying relatives and friends can be purified.You have no certainty that you will ever see your friend again, or that you will be there when he dies.Therefore, every time you visit, you can finish the Powa practice as a preparation, and continue to practice when you have free time. Consecrate our death: "The Bardo Hearing and Teaching Dedu" says: Oh!Sons and daughters of the enlightened family, the so-called "death" has now come, so adopt this attitude: "I have reached the moment of death, so now with death, I will only adopt the enlightened state of mind and the attitude of compassion, for everything as void Innumerable and boundless sentient beings attain perfect enlightenment..." A student asked me recently, "My friend is only twenty-five years old. He is dying of leukemia. What am I to do with this worthless, horrific pain?"" I have a lot of sympathy for him and his friends.It is probably the saddest thing in life for a person to think that the pain he goes through is worthless, that the pain he goes through is completely useless.I tell my students that even now, even in the midst of the great pain he is going through, his friend can transform his death: by sincerely dedicating his dying and dying pains to others, so that They gain benefit and ultimate happiness. I asked him to pass it on: "I know you are in pain. Imagine that there are many people in the world who are in the same pain as you, or worse. Fill your heart with compassion and dedicate it to them. Pray to anyone you believe in, and ask for Your pain helps them relieve their pain. Keep offering your pain to relieve theirs. You will find a new source of strength, a kind of compassion you can hardly imagine, and the assurance that not only is your pain not wasted, but It makes more sense now." What I say to my students is actually the tong method that I have shared with you before. It is even more important when your relatives and friends have reached the end of the disease or are about to die: If you have a disease like cancer or AIDS, try to imagine every single person in the world who has the same disease. Say to yourself with deep compassion, "May I bear the pain of everyone who has this terrible disease, and may they all be free from this torment and pain." Then imagine their disease and tumor as a puff of smoke, leaving their body and melting into your disease and tumor.When you breathe in, breathe in all their pain; when you breathe out, breathe out health and happiness.As you practice this practice, believe with complete confidence that they are healed. As you approach death, keep thinking to yourself, "May I bear the pain, fear, and loneliness of every dying or dying person in the world. May they all be free from pain and confusion. May they all find comfort and peace." Peace of mind. May whatever suffering I am experiencing and will encounter in the future help them to go to a good life and finally achieve enlightenment.” I know an artist in New York who is in the final stages of AIDS.He has a sarcastic personality, hates rigid religion, and several of us think he should be very interested in spiritual aspects.Friends persuaded him to see his Tibetan master, who immediately understood that his frustration and suffering stemmed largely from his feeling that his suffering meant nothing to himself or anyone else.Therefore, the master taught him one thing, and one thing only: the practice of tong rong.At first, he was a little skeptical, but he fixed it anyway; all his friends saw a great change in him.He told many of his friends that pain, which used to feel meaningless and horrific, is now filled with a solemn purpose through tonkatsu.Everyone who knew him experienced firsthand how this new meaning transformed his death.In the end, he died in peace, reconciled to himself and his pain. If the practice of tong can transform people who have had little practice in the past, imagine how powerful it would be in the hands of a master.When His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa passed away in Chicago in 1981, one of his Tibetan disciples wrote: When I met Karmapa, he had undergone many surgeries, some organs had been removed, some artificial organs had been put in, blood had been transfused, and so on.Almost every day the doctor discovered a new symptom, which disappeared the next day and was replaced by another one, as if all the diseases in the world had found a place in him.For two months, he did not eat hard food, and the doctors almost gave up hope, thinking that he would not be able to survive, and that the emergency equipment should be removed. But Karmapa said, "No, I'm going to live. Let the instrument stay there." He did live, and to the doctor's surprise, Karmapa was still as relaxed as before - -humorous, cheerful, smiling, as if he rejoiced in every physical pain.It occurred to me later, and I am quite certain, that the Karmapa endured the pain of surgery, the various diseases that arose on his body, and the inability to eat food in a very deliberate and voluntary manner: he suffered all diseases on purpose to help Alleviating future misery, such as war, disease, and famine; in this way he deliberately changed the extreme misery of this dark age.For those of us who were present, his death was an unforgettable inspiration. It also profoundly revealed the efficacy of Buddhism and the realization that self-sacrifice for others is indeed possible. I know, and I am sure, that there is no need for everyone in the world to die bitter and resentful.Any pain we suffer, no matter how terrible, cannot be meaningless if it can be used to relieve the suffering of others. We have witnessed with our own eyes the divine and sublime exemplars, the supreme masters of compassion, who lived and died in tonic, when they inhaled, took the suffering of all beings, and when they exhaled, To cure the diseases of the world, tirelessly throughout his life, until his last breath.The bardo teachings say that their compassion is so vast and powerful that, at the moment of their death, they are immediately reborn in the Buddhaland. If everyone could recite this prayer with Shantideva and all merciful masters when they are alive or dying, the whole world and our lives will be transformed! May I be the protector of those in need, May I be a traveler's guide, May I be the ship, the bridge, and the way that seeks the shore. May the suffering of all beings be completely eliminated. May the suffering of all beings be completely relieved, May I be a doctor and a medicine, May I be the nurse of all sick beings in the world, until everyone is healed. Like space and the four elements of earth, water, fire, and wind, May I always support the lives of all boundless beings. until they are free from pain, May I also be the source of life for all boundless beings.