Chapter 42 Section 2 Confusion and Struggle of People in the Sea of ​​Desire

Sexual desire, desire for power, desire for material, and desire for money, as the great factors devouring and affecting the human spirit, have been vividly revealed and expressed in different texts written by desire.This section analyzes the manifestations of different desires in different texts with respect to typical works. : The Objectified Writing of Sexual Instinct It tells an ancient incest story. The novel lasted from the thirty-three years of the Republic of China to the reform and opening up in the new era. The patricide complex of three generations continued in the changing times and in the cycle of fate. Yang Tianqing continued.This kind of emphasis on the background of the times actually strengthens people's life instinct and downplays people's social attributes.Reproduction is the most basic life instinct of human beings and the fundamental way of continuation of life. No matter how society and the times change, reproduction is the first priority in human life. It is not only a biological attribute of human beings but also a social attribute of human beings. Sexual desire and The conflict of incest taboo is an original cultural conflict. Compared with the fear of political movements, the fear of incest is more deadly. It destroys people's will to live, not just their body and spirit.Desire with the primary purpose of breeding or reproduction is more original and destructive than lust, because it is purely animal instinct. Just look at the endless and persistent struggles in the animal world for the continuation of species that are still going on today. It is not difficult to understand this tragic story of incest.

The small landlord Yang Jinshan and his ex-wife rolled on the kang for 30 years but failed to complete the sacred mission of inheriting the family. He exchanged 20 acres of mountain land for Wang Judou, a woman who is more than 30 years younger than him.For Yang Jinshan, the joy of sex comes from the pleasure brought by reproduction, and the sexual act itself is meaningless. The repression of reproduction and the social pressure from the outside have made him unable to experience the pure physical pleasure brought about by the release of sexual instinct. pleasure.So he abused Ju Dou, who was unable to conceive a child, in every possible way, and even the new people's government couldn't do anything to him. In order to prolong his life, he sold land, ate meat, took medicine and nourished himself, and fought day and night at the expense of his last yang energy. , while torturing his wife, he was also experiencing unimaginable pain and suffering in his heart. The fear of death and the despair and sorrow for survival made him mad.The result of Judou's incest with his nephew Tianqing——Tianbai made him ecstatic and regained his lost self and human dignity. However, the karma of reincarnation punished him, and the "evil" he planted gave birth to " "Evil consequences", in order to retaliate against his abuse and insult, Ju Dou not only had incest with Tianqing and had a child, but also indulged in carnival with Tianqing in front of him; Qing served him in order to make him suffer, and let him cover up the incest between herself and Ju Dou. Qing's initial conscience and guilt gradually disappeared, leaving only hatred for Yang Jinshan.The evil of human nature spread under the double torment of reproductive desire and sexual desire, wanton squandering, resentment and fear enveloped the three generations of the Yang family.

After Yang Jinshan failed to commit suicide, he had an epiphany. Apart from the fear of death, Yang Jinshan's lingering breath was revenge. He wanted to make Tianqing never get his son, and he did it.No matter in name or in reality, Tian Qing never got a son, what he left to this world is only a story of incest, a myth about "Ben'er" (huge penis).This is a primitive myth about human childhood. It is a tragedy and paradox about the conflict between life desire and social ethical norms. Tianqing, who has a strong vitality and created two lives, has been oppressed by sex all her life. He was tortured by his uncle and son in life, he was called brother by his son all his life, and he was called auntie by his beloved woman all his life, and he had to endure the invisible oppression of the surrounding environment and family power. It means that he has another brother. He will be an old bachelor until his death. He knows that he will never be able to escape the tricks of fate.Oedipus was inspired by God, and tried every means to get rid of the fate arrangement; but Tian Qing was manipulated by sexual desire, hatred and fear, and fell into the mire of libido and couldn't extricate himself.This is the cruelty of fate, or this is Liu Heng's indifference!Tianqing fell in love with his aunt, which was the original sin of life, and he paid a lifetime of loneliness and strength for this.This is what Liu Heng understands about sex. Sex is the most primitive instinctive impulse, the natural attribute of human beings, and the most direct, primitive and effective way of life continuation.It creates man and it destroys man.As long as human beings do not disappear, sex will always pull people, trouble people, torture people, and lead people to the peak of happiness or the abyss of evil.

Liu Heng did not endow sex with a "metaphysical" meaning. What he showed was the metaphysical natural meaning of sex. When this biological instinct conflicts with social ethical norms, people will fall into the abyss of eternal sin.Ju Dou suffered all the hardships and humiliation all her life, love and hate tore her apart, she lived like an old hen, raising her chicks and chicks, she couldn't get rid of the confusion of lust like Tianqing, she still had Maternity, I insist that motherhood is more of an animal nature, and its metaphysical meaning is given or imposed by human society.It is difficult to discern the theme or pulse of the times from the story of Ju Dou. She is almost an allegory of the tragic struggle and struggle of a natural person. Competing with social and cultural customs, the strength of the individual is really negligible. Is this the fate of women?The author didn't treat it as a story about a woman's fate, nor did she interpret it into a vigorous love story. He just calmly told people the story of a woman who was dragged by a man's desire and her own desire towards destruction step by step. Her father's desire to make a fortune pushed her into Yang Jinshan's sea of ​​desire to carry on the family line. Yang Jinshan's cruelty, azure love and her own desire for revenge pushed her into the trap and fear of incest, and pushed her into the trap of incest and fear. She is forever nailed to the pillar of shame in people's memory.

: A collective display of various desires In 1993, Jia Pingwa's publication triggered a literary earthquake. In the 1990s, the problem of food and clothing was no longer the primary concern of the society and the public. Only an objective and realistic display of sexual desire could cause a sensation.This is the main reason why many texts take sex as the core of their narratives, because after literature goes to the market, writers must consider the consumer market demand for novels, and people’s subconscious desires need an appropriate channel to release after they expand. The consumption of works alleviates or satisfies the potential psychological needs of some readers to a certain extent. Some people's desires can be released in imagination or fantasy through literature reading, which is beneficial to people's physical and mental health psychologically. Appearance just meets the aesthetic expectations of some readers.Not only "is a most successful incitement to the pure desire to read", but also "a revolutionary indulgence of desire". (Chen Xiaoming speaking) Lu Wenbin also pointed out that what is surging in the film is an inevitable response to the mainstream spirit of that era.This mainstream spirit is the discovery and affirmation of desire.The novel describes people's ever-expanding desires and pursuits in the era of globalization. It is a grand joint exhibition of human desires. But as far as Zhuang Zhidie is concerned, his desires are actually very real and very specific. They belong to Zhuang Zhidie. Zhidie's personal not only includes strong sexual desires, but also includes survival, art, emotion, material, and so on.His material desires were concealed under the cloak of celebrity, and his desire for power was severely frustrated in that lawsuit. He pretended to maintain his celebrity image and dignity in the eyes of others. At home, he wanted to maintain the dignity of his parents. In the society, we must establish a tall image of a spiritual leader and a cultural celebrity. In front of Zhou Min, he must pose as a great writer and a teacher. Just like Yin Jiahou, he can't handle every role. The pursuit of all kinds of desires makes him fall into the quagmire of desires and he can't extricate himself. He chooses to escape—running away. To death or chaos (stroke).In this way, ideals and loftiness are deconstructed and completely subverted by the author quietly and ruthlessly, leaving only desire.

The external form is the sex story between Zhuang Zhidie and several women, and its internal form is the life form of Zhuang Zhidie struggling in the vortex of political, cultural and economic tides, and writes about modern concepts in the process of China's modernization in the 1990s The impact on the behavioral norms and inner world of traditional intellectuals describes the intellectuals' cultural psychology of rejection of modern civilization and abnormal attachment to traditional agricultural civilization during the transition period, as well as the huge conflict between the two civilizations in their hearts.The implicit structure of the novel is social and cultural criticism, which blends the characters' political experiences and sex life together to show the fate of the characters, and examines the political and cultural changes of the times through the daily life of individuals, especially marriage life and sexual intercourse. This structural model is Expanding the richer and more complex life content and the spiritual world of the characters provides a broader narrative space.Influenced by thousands of years of traditional culture, Chinese intellectuals have always disdained to talk about material desires, but sex is related to human vitality and creativity, so sex is more attractive than material desires.

The central event of the novel is a lawsuit about personal privacy and reputation rights caused by reportage. The lawsuit itself is an event full of modern significance, because only in the social environment where the legal system is becoming more and more perfect, when people's self-awareness is fully awakened circumstances, such litigation may arise.Around the lawsuit, the parties involved stand on different cultural positions, showing people's different attitudes towards this lawsuit that represents modern civilization. He subconsciously believes that it is not a good thing for intellectuals and celebrities to get involved in a lawsuit, and he does everything possible to prevent this lawsuit from becoming a social hotspot. Compared with the current celebrities who use their privacy and "lawsuits" to hype, Zhuang Zhidie is still a A shameless literati.The purpose of Jing Xueyin's lawsuit is firstly to show her rights and integrity, and secondly to take the opportunity to raise her social status.Zhou Min originally wanted to make a fortune by borrowing from celebrities, but he didn't want to "lose his wife and lose his army".Zhuang Zhidie's sexual encounters with several women revolved around the central incident, and occurred and developed during the interval of litigation.

Judging from Zhuang Zhidie's communication patterns with several women, their relationships are almost all based on Zhuang Zhidie's self-cultural identity. His cultural identity is a remnant of the planned economic system, and his cultural psychology He lacks the awareness of equality and open and free character that a commodity society should have, and he lacks equal spiritual communication and dialogue with women. Even in sexual behavior, he must always be in a dominant position. When the sex object has needs, he will feel frustrated and show it physiologically. The impotence in front of his wife is related to his economic attachment to his wife.He is the first of the four major cultural celebrities in Xijing, and his wife used his fame to open a small bookstore to subsidize the family. Regardless of cultural accomplishment, economic income, and social status, he should be included in the list of authorities ten years later. indicators of the middle class.His lifestyle, mental confusion, and advocating tranquility are all possible for the middle class.Therefore, Zhuang Zhidie can't let go of everything. Even his sadness and self-pity are afraid of being known by others. He always shows others with a fake face. He is most afraid of others touching the depths of his heart. He is used to it, and he himself is afraid of touching himself. Many people accused the author of retaining too much of his own shadow in the novel, and the author also said that the creation of the novel was for "Anto's own soul" and was a "heart trace" of himself, so , the more the author avoids the pain and sadness in Zhuang Zhidie's heart, the more we can feel the author's unique spiritual feelings and experiences that the author has not expressed or is unwilling to express.The novel is a simple description of the urban cultural ecology in the period of social transformation. The four major cultural celebrities use the stage of the city to show their life desires. Their life attitudes, behaviors, and spiritual world are hard to identify with, let alone It arouses a sense of sublime.In a society full of material desires, deeply trapped in the secular life of the physical world, indulging in the vortex of desires such as money, carnality, and fame, some intellectuals are losing their integrity and social conscience.Zhuang Zhidie lacks the proper moral ability to restrain his own desires and adjust the relationship between the subject and society, thus losing himself.

Jia Pingwa said that writing about sex "is just a state of sexual gratification, aiming to say that Zhuang Zhidie wants to adapt to the society but fails to adapt, wants to do something until he can't do it, and finally belongs to women. I hope he can become a woman or a woman He made him, but no one can make anyone else, he and the woman ruined together” [31] The novel’s “excessively described” and “excessively exaggerated” sex is actually a kind of sneaky and poor sex surrounded by reality. A celebrity pins his soul on "sexual gratification", and is afraid that it will affect his existing vested interests. He uses the cloak of a successful person and a cultural celebrity to cover up his inner pain. In external behavior, he is " Cheating", on the spiritual dimension, his pain is also in the dark, he can't see the light, he can't see others, he can only bury it deep in his heart, hide it, and even avoid the women who are "sexually pleasing" with him.He is determined to integrate into society and adapt to society. He has never thought of standing on the opposite side of society and reality. He cherishes and values ​​the social status given to him by the secular society. And nothingness is measured, careful, and needs to calculate gains and losses. He can't be completely unrestrained, so the author uses unbridled pen and ink to write about the sex that is consciously suppressed by the subject, which is the perfect use of "irony" technique.He wants all the women who are related to him to cover and protect him, maintain his celebrity image, and try his best to shape his perfect external image or public image. You can call him hypocritical, or play with women, or call him It doesn't matter if he is selfish, anyway, his self-centered myth cannot be broken.When everything became clear, his carefully constructed ideal living realm of "seeking a lack" was shattered by reality, and his spirit also collapsed, and he chose to escape.In the face of spiritual distress and the plight of real life, he adopts the attitude of "seeking for lack" and escaping, which is manifested in decadence, sadness, narcissism and self-pity.

In Chinese, sex is a relatively pure concept. It involves the physical and psychological pleasure of both men and women, and rarely involves sex transactions. Power, money, and fame can all be exchanged directly, but sex still stays at the level of "pleasure between the sexes." At the physiological level, its social or economic resources have not been fully developed, at least in the minds of a considerable number of people, sex has not yet degenerated into a commodity that can be exchanged. Tang Waner and A Can get physical pleasure from Zhuang Zhidie In addition, it is spiritual satisfaction or vanity satisfaction. The relationship between Zhuang Zhidie and them is not the relationship between people and things.To a certain extent, Tang Wan'er's sexual relationship with Ah Can and Zhuang Zhidie should be regarded as non-utilitarian.Perhaps because of this, the writer asked Zhuang Zhidie to use sex to save his lost soul.And when Liu Yue helped Zhuang Zhidie tide over the difficulties at the expense of marrying the mayor's disabled son, the purity of sex gradually deteriorated.If we think about it from another angle, we will find that Liu Yue has been using Zhuang Zhidie from the very beginning to lure him into the trap he set up step by step. This little nanny is very similar to the contemporary Chinese female Rastigne. Their only capital - sex squeezed into the upper class.Among the women who have had emotional and sexual entanglements with Zhuang Zhidie, Liu Yue has clear motives, strong utilitarianism, and purpose. She has a strong sense of modernity and self-awareness, and is a sober, scheming realist. Or, she successfully used other people's desires to realize her original desire to become a city dweller. She is good at using everyone around her and adjusting her survival strategy at any time.

In the novel, women are the object of Zhuang Zhidie's desire; Zhuang Zhidie is not the object of desire of others and those women.The author watched Zhuang Zhidie coldly, described his plight of existence objectively and calmly, watched him struggle in the sea of ​​desire, and walked towards destruction step by step without extending a helping hand. First of all, everyone has high hopes for him, from the mayor, friends, mother-in-law, director Huang to Mrs. Liu, especially the women who have entanglements with him. Niu Yueqing has fully enjoyed the vanity of a celebrity wife but is not satisfied; One day she will become the wife of a writer; Liu Yue, as a babysitter, also dreams of the wife of a writer from time to time, and believes that the writer will not treat her badly; A Can longs to regain her youth and self-confidence that is about to be lost by the favor of celebrities; Jing Xue Yin raised his status through lawsuits with celebrities; only Wang Ximian's wife was "in love with him, beyond etiquette", and he was full of desire and love for this woman in his heart, and he respected her from the bottom of his heart. They both hide their love in their hearts, which is quite similar to the purity of love in Zhang Jie's works, so that when he had a stroke, this woman came to him, leaving readers with infinite reverie, maybe this is the beautiful image left by the writer intentionally "Garland" wants to let the essence of traditional culture grow tenaciously in the soil of modern civilization.It is a pity that the perfect ideal woman carefully portrayed by the author has rarely attracted attention because of her lack of sexual relations with Zhuang Zhidie and her entangled entanglements. Make those critics ignore her symbolic and metaphorical meaning in the novel, she is free from vulgarity, weak, illusory, always like living in a dream or the mood of another world, sticking to her own duty, just like the shadow of a traditional Chinese woman floating In modern society, sometimes it seems so out of place, sometimes it seems so insignificant.This restrained beautiful woman is like the traditional Chinese ethics and morality. Although she is beautiful and makes people nostalgic, she is a thing of the past.This is the real living situation of urbanites in mainland China in the 1990s. Zhuang Zhidie was trapped in it. Without the courage and ability to save himself, there was only destruction. The novel narrates Zhuang Zhidie's daily life tirelessly and in detail, and rarely touches on the secrets deep in the characters' hearts.However, some critics believe that this is precisely the success of the novel, "It doesn't write about this person's spiritual problems, but writes about mediocre trivial matters, but interested readers should be able to feel this character's spiritual problems from time to time." Confusion and Crisis",[33] Indeed, Zhuang Zhidie has been trying to use sex to relieve spiritual confusion, depression and crisis, but this artistic treatment may not be comprehended or recognized by all readers.A writer who creates spiritual food for mankind is trying to escape the torture of spirit and soul, and his mission of being a divine enlightener, but there is nowhere to escape. His pain is difficult to express in words.No matter how profound thoughts are, they must be conveyed through a certain aesthetic form. The root cause of the external form of novels lies in the artistic form of novels. Dai Jinhua believes that female whispering writing is an aspect or part of personal writing, and it is the personal writing of female writers with autobiographical significance. "In our current context, it specifically writes about the personal life of female writers and discloses their personal privacy, in order to constitute an attack on men's society and moral discourse, and achieve shocking effects. Because the direct writing of women's personal life experience may constitute an attack on male society and moral discourse. The subversion of the authoritative discourse of male society, male norms, and the female image that men desire." (37) In short, any writing that centers on female private experience and boldly exposes the secrets of female body and soul has been rejected for a period of time. It's called personal writing.Dai Jinhua’s definition excludes those who use the banner of “feminism” to attract attention by exposing personal privacy, earn economic benefits, revel in the catharsis and carnival of physical desires, seek strong sensory stimulation, and cater to certain people in society. Voyeurism" and vulgar taste, the so-called "female writing" that entertains itself by media and commercial hype.Women's writing usually refers to the literary creation of female writers with distinct gender awareness and cultural standpoint.The private writing in this article refers to pure literature female writing activities represented by Chen Ran, Lin Bai, Hai Nan, Xu Xiaobin, Xu Kun, etc. Personalized writing became popular in the 1990s, and it has its deep social and cultural roots. In addition to the impact of consumerism and the ontological tendency of desire that we mentioned earlier, another important factor is the change of social structure. influence on literary creation.With the continuous improvement of the degree of modernization, a highly specialized social organization structure has been formed in Chinese society, and the social division of labor has become more and more detailed. With the shrinking of living space, people are more and more fixed in a narrow social space, just like a screw on a machine. The social role of people is determined by society, and the subjective initiative of life subjects must be subject to the operation of the entire social mechanism. , which leads to the unique and complicated social experience of the individual, and it is difficult for the individual to be the spokesperson of the country.People's sense of self-division and the specialization of the functions of social departments make it more and more difficult for novelists to understand the nature of the working world and to grasp the macroscopic view of the external world. Therefore, they actively choose "small narratives" and choose Marginalized narrative positions, that is, digging into people's consumer life and private life, or using the theme of alienation and bureaucracy to reflect the writer's aversion to the intricate social structure like a honeycomb, but deliberately avoid or rarely reflect work experience, personalization Writers always choose to dig deep into the life they are familiar with instead of being too entangled in reflecting the breadth of life. This is both a wise choice and a helpless choice.The living space of women is narrower than that of men. What they are most familiar with is their own body and heart, and this is precisely the "virgin land" of literature that has been covered by "civilization" for the longest time. In this wild land of literature, There are also abundant mineral deposits available for development. Private writing, purely personal writing, expressing the eroticism of women's inner world, and some elegant resistance to patriarchy, often accompanied by "desperate poetry" (Chen Xiaoming), the scene of going to the soul and "ventriloquism" " (Xia Yushi), drifting into the "melancholy wasteland" (Meng Fanhua) in loneliness.They can only stand in the air where there is no one, silently watching the hollow years and wage a lonely war without end, or sit on the "cloister chair" and "cheers to the past" and then carry out the "deadly flight" .This is a man's ironic overview of women's personal writing, but it is worth our aftertaste. "The 'private writing' I understand is the individual care that gets rid of the grand narrative, it is a living space that is privately owned and far away from the social and political center, it is the quiet reflection and listening to the individual's living experience, and it is standing alone in the mirror. Before, the self-examination as others, so that the "mumbling narrative" of one's own body and desires, is the solo dance and monologue of the soul when no one is watching." (38) Guo Chunlin's understanding is compared with the previous men The discourse showed some objectivity and calmness.Indulging in the poetic space of self-imagination, pursuing the inner life of women in an extreme spiritual state, and maintaining an independent living posture are just the narrative strategies chosen by female writers to subvert and rebel against the distortion of female subject consciousness by patriarchal discourse and suppression.The ultimate pursuit of private writing is to reveal women's secret inner world and deep consciousness space through subjective narration of women's personal experience, to change women's fate of being spoken, to realize women's self-salvation, and to construct a healthy and harmonious relationship between the sexes. Personalized writing is an extreme writing posture and method, with the nature of autobiography or semi-autobiography, or the author consciously makes people have similar associations, with closed private life as the only space for writing or discourse, and female instinct The personalized narrative centered on desire embodies the unique way of life and discourse of women as individuals. Body and sex are important contents of private text narratives. They try to rebel against the fate that women have been told, and narrate women in the world of experience. , rather than ideal women, compared with the "Saints" who are spiritually in love with the "Zhang Jie style", they are full of physical temptations, and sometimes they seem to be the embodiment of desire. They may not conform to the traditional moral and aesthetic value norms, they They may not be cute, but they are more authentic and frank than traditional women, closer to the natural nature of people, and more human charm. Private writing represents an avant-garde and radical writing posture and cultural standpoint. The center of "private" narrative is "private experience", and the self is both the writer of the text and the object of self-examination.This kind of private experience combines the writer's unique aesthetic experience and strong self-awareness. Although it is autobiographical, it is not an autobiography in the sense of documentary. Extremely personal female survival experience.Female writers always use their narrations to penetrate into the mysterious realm of women’s self-mind, isolate the inner life of the narrator and its objects from the outside world, and form a closed self-space, allowing them to fully display their long-hidden female consciousness .The women in their works are always isolated from the world, wandering and imagining freely in a claustrophobic private space, consciously or forced to be alone, fatherless or divorced, unmarried or widowed, full of hostility or fear of men in their hearts, they Usually less oppressed by patriarchy, there is a relatively free psychological space for women to fully grow their self-awareness. Their external image is often long hair fluttering, poignant, lonely and delicate, with compelling aura, strong lust and rich lust. Imagination, they consume and transfer their life energy through masturbation and imagination, or create a beautiful atmosphere on the same sex or animals, relieve their ambivalence towards men that is both eager and fearful, or take pleasure in playing with men, The deformed love makes them feel nihilistic, world-weary and desperate, always fleeing to the self-enclosed heart, and finally fleeing to death.Disappearance and death are the eternal destination and home of women. This unique state of existence (I regard disappearance and death as a state of life) makes them feel safe and calms their manic hearts. Just like the lonely and beautiful woman in moon-white silk dress who obtains peace of mind in the raging fire in Lin Bai's works ("Same Heart Lovers Can't Break Up"). People always realize self-aesthetic care through objects. After women are exiled from the external society and men, they can only realize self-care through women themselves. At this time, women's eyes and the props that women use to take care of themselves-mirrors are It has become an important way for women to discover themselves.Under the care of pure female eyes, the mirror becomes a prop for women's self-cognition. Through the mirror, women replace the mirror image of pure physical body with the mirror image of narcissistic absolute spirit, realizing the subjective replacement of multiple mirror images, and realizing women's subjectivity of self. care.For Borges, the mirror refers to the dark and mysterious labyrinth of time and fate, and the metaphorical meaning is very clear.For women, the image in the mirror and the real image are often blended and kneaded together, which is both real and illusory. They are happy to be lingering in it, and subtly elevate the beauty of women's body to the aesthetic level of spiritual personality, and then to women. The perfect fascination, intoxication and worship of the ego personality.Domi "sees himself in the mirror, full of narcissistic love, but also harbors a hidden heart of self-abuse" ("One Man's War"). In the subconscious such as pity, possession, and destruction.The mirror itself is unreal. When the writer conducts a "retrospective" subjective inspection of the subject of life through the mirror, it has been infiltrated by individual experience and memory, fiction and imagination, and what appears before our eyes becomes a magical, magnificent and full of life. Poetic and intellectual aesthetic imagination space. "Girl Domi is like a green and hard guava on the branches of the years in Town B, shining through my memory." ("One Man's War") Domi is Domi, and she may have Lin Bai's individuality The refraction of life, but she is definitely not Lin Bai, she is Lin Bai's creation, the crystallization of Lin Bai's wisdom, instinctive desire and life pain. The phenomenon of female masturbation or self-blasphemy and the huge physical and psychological pleasure it brings to women are rare in the cultural context and literary works of the past, and it is covered and covered up by the tradition of male discourse.The private writing makes beautiful poetic descriptions of female body, narcissism, masturbation and other physiological phenomena and inner secrets, which are poetic expressions of female instinctive desires.As a natural living body, women, like men, have all kinds of desires derived from life instinct.For thousands of years, women's normal and healthy life desires have been suppressed by "civilization" and "patriarchy", obscured, distorted and deformed until reshaped.Women’s affirmation of their own life experience and the writing of body desires have become an important step in their awakening and liberation. However, when expressing women’s body desires, female writers are still restrained in terms of aesthetics, and their writing also strives for elegance and purity. They pay more attention to Women's physiological experience and subjective inner feelings during sexual behavior and masturbation, instead of vivid and detailed objective descriptions of the process of sexual behavior or operational details, they poetize women's sensual experience with ethereal imagination, making it It is rich in a huge tension in the original state of life, which is both delightful and delicate.Lin Bai's narrative style is delicate, lingering, and full of tension. In her writing, women's life experience appears real, clear, transparent, full of movement and beauty. It is a kind of frank indulgence and depravity of primitive life, a life beyond moral boundaries. Carnival is exchanged for instant pleasure and peak experience. "The cold satin touched her burning skin, like an indescribable gigantic organ running back and forth throughout her body. She felt herself swimming in the water, her hands rising and falling on the undulating body, the deep inside of her The spring water flowed continuously, and the transparent liquid penetrated her. She struggled desperately, her lips parted, and let out a fatal moan. The middle finger touched the wet and soft entrance of this messy center, and she screamed like an electric shock, and she swallowed herself." (39) This is Lin Bai's subjective description of female masturbation behavior.Undoubtedly, masturbation as a sexual behavior is forbidden under the traditional moral norms, and it is by no means a healthy behavior from the perspective of physiological and psychological science. However, the sudden and long-suppressed life energy of women Bursting out, what suddenly flashes out is a kind of shocking beauty.This is a kind of moral confusion, which is the author's self-identity under the conflict of old and new morals. The writer seems to be deliberately avoiding the moral meaning of the text.Chen Sihe believes that Lin Bai has completed women's self-consciousness in a pure sense. In her texts, she candidly expresses the lustful instinct of human beings, transforms pornography into women's self-entertainment, and makes readers feel the emotion from reading. Purification, this is all due to the awakening of the writer's female consciousness and the aestheticism tendency in his creation. (40) The body is the entry point for female writers to explore women's unconscious and hidden desires. Their descriptions of female body organs and their sensations do not stay on the surface of organ sensations, but go deep into women's subconscious.The body narrative of private writing breaks away from the grand modern discourse narrative mode of modern countries and nations. Female writers start with the lower body in order to complete the interpretation of the upper body (female consciousness).The bodies they describe are feminized and private female bodies, which are the externalization of women's independent consciousness. Although they objectively satisfy men's "voyeurism" and cater to the "curiosity" of the cultural market, their Body narratives are not fully fleshed out.To destroy the central system of male discourse, "women must write through their bodies", "almost everything about women has yet to be written about women, about their sexuality, its endless and shifting intricacies, about their的性爱，她们身体某一微小而又巨大区域的突然骚动。”(41西苏所提到的女性的特征恰恰是当时女性文学所欠缺的，此前对女性的叙述都是在男性文化语境遮蔽下的由男性对女性进行叙述或者由那些尽可能以男性或社会性视角进行文学创作的女作家小心翼翼地、尝试性对女性的情感世界进行一些浅层次的叙述，对女性身体进行唯美化的诗意叙述，是从私人化写作开始的。1980年代，残雪最早深入到女性的心灵深处，探求她们潜意识下的深层隐秘，她笔下的女性大多有一种被“窥视”的恐惧，如《山上的小屋》中的“我”，总是把自己严密地包裹起来，害怕他者(包括社会、外部世界、他人等)侵入自己的内心世界，发现自己的隐秘(身体的、主体意识的)；1990年代，女性作家典型的叙述模式是暴露隐私，唯恐漏掉了某一个细节，唯恐叙述得不够全面细致深刻。这两种心态在女性经验世界中都是客观真实的存在，叙事策略的不同实际上是由当时的文化语境和社会的宽容度决定的，与作家的思想观念和审美价值取向也有很大的关系。私人化写作是对女性私人经验和话语模式的一种启蒙，或者说是对女性躯体的一次开发和启蒙，它尚且具有现代主义的精英意识和启蒙意识，其文本具有一定的启蒙意义和审美价值；卫慧、棉棉的“身体写作”则带有明显的后现代的特征，其存在价值更多体现在文学史上。 女性是在不断逃避中成长起来，她们逃避社会，逃避男性，逃避责任，逃避道德，逃避爱情，逃避婚姻，直至逃避自己的灵魂，终日生活在幻想和镜像之中，陷入孤独、空虚与绝望的境地，这是女性现实的生存处境。女性作家从男性社会逃向女性的封闭、自足、自由的内心世界，以私语化的叙事策略，试图实现女性的自我救赎。林白说：“个人化写作是一种真正生命的涌动，是个人的感性和智性、记忆和想象、心灵和身体的飞翔与跳跃，在这中飞翔中真正的、本质的人获得前所未有的解放。”(42)用身体的感受和想象书写女性的历史，女性通过身体和性发现自我，确立自我意识。在男性社会，女性总是处于“被看”的地位，当她把自己的身体作为对象进行审视时，她惊异地发现了女性躯体的自然美，于是疯狂地爱上了自己的躯体，这通常有两种情况：一是从类似自己的某个女性身上发现了女性独特的美；一是从镜子中发现自己的女性美，镜子是女性进行自我关照的重要工具。对女性美的发现，导致了女性的自恋和对男性的拒斥，这种拒斥导致女性对男性的失望。当女性失去爱的对象时，就会发生移情现象，女性将全部的生命能量转移到女性自身，爱自己或另一个女性，这就出现了人们常说的自恋或姐妹恋现象。 私人化写作的作家大多在个人生活中受到过某种挫折，人格和个性有某种缺憾，自恋、幽闭、离群索居是她们现实中的生存选择或存在方式，她们沉湎于自己所营造的诗意化的想象空间自我欣赏，自我玩味，不愿或不敢与男性和外部世界展开公平对话，封闭的生活空间和孤芳自赏的性格使女性作家无法正确处理男女两性的关系，男性在她们笔下几乎都是类型化的、残缺的，要么身体强悍、性欲旺盛，却粗暴蛮横像个暴徒；要么才华出众、尊重女性，却是阳萎；要么精神、肉体都很完美，却愤世嫉俗不愿结婚；要么造化弄人，理想的男性总是早夭或莫名其妙地失踪。在她们那里，美满的婚姻是女性永远的乌托邦，是女性永恒的追求与梦想，只存在于彼岸世界。她们试图将女性从两性世界中抽离出来，再从多维空间微缩到隐秘空间，将女性还原为自然感性的人，抽绎其社会性和理性的成分，从而凸显女性的独立自足。 私人化写作不如说是“呓语化写作”，因为女性作家有意将记忆与现实叠合，将现实与梦境揉为一体，有意混淆意识与潜意识，林白惯用的伎俩就是把一个女人分裂成若干个独立的生命个体，让每一个个体表现自己内心的某一种欲望，或拥有自己梦寐以求的某种美丽、个性或品格，甚至人生的某段经历。她笔下的女性是被她残忍撕裂的无数碎片，每一个女性的“意象”都是不完整的，包括她们的生命意识，她们的美丽，她们的身体，她们的自怜自恋自虐。她们是作家的玩偶泥塑，作家按照自己的意志随意捏造，绝不给她们完整的自我，她们都不是具有主体性的人，而是一个个符号，作家用她们来象征自己内心隐秘的欲望，从某种程度上说，她们都是作家臆想出来，作家没有足够地勇气解剖自己内心的隐秘和丑陋，于是，把自己的身体和灵魂剖开，一点一点地拿到阳光下去暴晒，所以，有人说私语化写作真实反映了作家的内心世界，其实我们看到的恰恰是被作家精心撕碎又重新拼贴起来的，经过过滤、筛选、美化、虚饰的隐秘世界，是作家自我意识遮蔽下的欲望话语，是作家想要表达的那一部分隐秘。这种对女性的言说也许更不真实，或者说是被“政治化”(作为对男权社会的颠覆)或“女性化”的叙事。它只能代表具有话语权与言说能力的那部分女性的自我意识，这种关于女性的言说与阐释在事实上构成了一种新的话语霸权，对男性社会，对不具备自我言说能力或不愿表达内心世界的那部分女性的意志来说，它歪曲了他人的生命意志，将自己的所谓女性意识通过文本阐释强加给所有女性，当然也包括男性，这也是女性主义和女性私语化写作的一个误区。