Chapter 13 Novella Workaround - 3

(three) She looked at the eaves that suffocated her, and she wrote nothing, because she had the real sea and waves in her heart, from which she was entering the essence of nature, and all external forms seemed insignificant.For many days, thunder, lightning, gusts of wind and downpours could not move her heart. She stared at the sky, occasionally wrote a symbol, and immediately hated it again.It feels so good to hold the pen in my hand. The pen is like a dagger, piercing the shady curtain of nature. It doesn’t matter even if it still feels dark to her. There are many gloomy and hidden corners, and there are sharp, human-like shadows swaying in those corners. She calls them "rocket heads" in her heart.She even felt that the plum blossoms from Xinghua Village were among these rocket heads.These people will never come out of their hiding places.They have been stuck in those corners for a long time.She immediately drew some rough human figures in the notebook, and after finishing the drawings, she felt that they were far from the style in her memory.When doing so, she never forgets to write the date beside it.Shuyi kept thinking how far this strange humanoid animal was from her.This particular race all come together.But they don’t communicate with each other. It’s only by chance that they get together. In fact, a single person is alone. This does not mean that they can’t feel the existence of people around them when they are alone. They are actually very sensitive in this regard, and they don't communicate because communication is meaningless.The reason why Shuyi made such a judgment was the influence of past experience on her.Seeing those unknown shadows, she thought of Meihua and her almost fabricated brother, and the special and incomprehensible way of life of their brothers and sisters.What she saw of them and what they did was just a superficial phenomenon. What they looked like and what they were doing, what I could understand was just a small piece of the back of the whale floating out of the sea, which was confusing. The phenomenon will only confuse her.She often thought, how could she still be so ignorant after living for more than sixty years?Why is this ignorance still on the rise?

A vegetable vendor appeared in front of her, and the vegetable vendor was walking towards her window with a smile. "Hello, old lady Shu Yi! The weather is so good today, why don't you record something?" His head was poking through the window, and a large dirty hand rested on the sill. Shu Yi avoided the eyes of the rough man, thinking, could he be one of the figures in those corners?She has been in a business relationship with him for more than ten years. I'm afraid this kind of unintentional relationship is not really completely unintentional. How come I never discovered this?Or is the person slowly becoming that person through this relationship with himself?If that kind of evolution existed, Shu Yi would feel dizzy even thinking about it.What kind of person is she?How could it be possible to turn a good-looking person into a shadow with years of subtle influence?She stood up with difficulty, straightened her skinny body, she really wanted to make a stern expression, but what she made was a flattering smile.

The vegetable vendor was still hanging on the window sill.His tall body covered half of the windows. "The furnishings in your room are very simple, which is a bit disappointing. It has been many years. You come to buy my vegetables every day. I sometimes play a little joke with you, but I never see through you. Every time you leave, I feel so lonely, and I run to the river to cry. Sometimes, I hit myself on the head with pebbles by the river, and the blood flows from the head. Look carefully!" He lowered his head head, which hangs down on the table. Shu Yi saw many raised sarcoid tumors the size of eggs on the back of his head.

"You don't need to tell all of this," Shu Yi said softly, "It's only been a dozen years, and the future will be long..." She couldn't go on talking in a daze. The vegetable vendor raised his head and looked at her carefully, as if he was thinking about it. "You old woman, monster, what's on your mind?" he growled in a low voice. Shu Yi was so frightened that he took a few steps back and sat down on the bed, his whole body shaking like chaff.At this moment, the vegetable vendor laughed, turned around and walked away.Shu Yi watched his broad back disappear into the tofu shop, dripping with cold sweat, and said to himself repeatedly: "He is that kind of person, he is that kind of person, really!" She sat back at the table again, Open the notebook, close it, open it again, and close it again, making a "popping" sound.

She spread the notebook on the table and went outside to look at the sky.She doubts that this small slice of sky overhead reflects the weather in the entire region.Not long ago, it rained continuously for a week. Aunt Peng, who had just returned from visiting relatives in the not-too-distant outskirts of the city, told her that the production of vegetables grown by relatives had been reduced due to drought, and there was not a drop of rain there.Shu Yi was not sure whether Aunt Peng was lying or God was playing tricks on her.Her footsteps were still brisk, she walked to the street corner, looked at the tightly closed black gate again, and remembered the towering trees inside.The trees were invisible from the outside, blocked by a row of office buildings.Shu Yi has never heard of a courtyard inside. Once she talked about it with an old neighbor, the neighbor shook his head and said that she must have made a mistake, and said that in this busy street, what There may be such a deep courtyard.He has been there more than once, only some old houses, all empty, not even the shadow of a tree, let alone a towering tree.Then he felt strange again, saying that at such an old age, Shu Yi talked like a child.When walking back, she stood on tiptoe to look at it again, and was about to take a step after reading it, but bumped into a person, who cursed viciously, "Damn old woman," and slowly fell to the ground.Shu Yi took a closer look and found that it was the servant inside. The reason why he fell to the ground was because he was drunk.Shu Yi bent down to him and asked:

"Does the fat old woman still live there?" "Shit, she turned to ashes long ago, you really don't know the time." He rolled his eyes at her. Shu Yi became terrified when she heard this, so she went around him and drove home, and looked behind her in anger after leaving, only to find that the old man was staggeringly following her.Su Yi stopped and waited for him to come to him. "Do you have anything to say?" she asked. "You can't escape, how can you escape? The net has been cast." After saying this, he staggered away. That night, before going to sleep, Shuyi suddenly found the black butterfly, the size of a small bowl, clinging tightly to the top of the mosquito net, motionless, with sinister blue lights flashing from its wings.Panting for breath, Shu Yi climbed out of bed, frantically stuffed the tent, shut the butterfly in the tent, and clamped the opening with several clips to prevent it from flying out.After doing all this, she lay down on the recliner with lingering fear.In the middle of the night, she turned on the light to check several times, and every time she saw that it was still parked in the same place.

Aunt Peng came early in the morning, scolded "crazy" a few words, then went to loosen the clamps, and Shu Yi's heart beat into her throat.The mosquito net was raised, but there was nothing inside. "The hallucinations are really scary!" Shu Yi muttered in frustration. Her hair was disheveled, and her uncomfortable sleeping position at night made her feel as if she had been ill, and her whole body ached.While she was combing her hair in front of the mirror, Aunt Peng stood behind her thinking. "Those things that happened in the courtyard, those black butterflies, are they just a scene I imagined when I took a nap on Wednesday? What happened to that young man?"

"There are all possibilities." Aunt Peng comforted her. "Why are the people and things around you all different these days?" "It's the law of nature!" Aunt Peng laughed. "How did you become so complaining?" Shu Yi still wanted to discern what had happened these days, she couldn't be as calm as Aunt Peng.She regretted that she didn't break into the iron gate to find out these days. She attributed it to her usual inertia. She was a person who procrastinated on everything.It was too late now, the door had not been opened for a long time.She also didn't want to ask Aunt Peng, she guessed that Aunt Peng's answer, at least from her face, didn't show the slightest sign about Wednesday's incident.If it goes back, the Xinghuacun Hotel is not reliable.She has lived for more than sixty years, and she has left vivid memories at every stage, which can be described in some words. They are all reliable memories.What is an unreliable memory?Over the past year, strange things have continued to happen, and memories have begun to be confused.Shuyi thought that it was very likely that he was suffering from that common geriatric disease, a kind of psychedelic disease.Indeed, no one had discussed in depth with her any of the adventures she thought she had experienced. It seemed that the people around her were self-evident, and she was further deceived into thinking that others agreed with her. .Could it be that others are perfunctory themselves?Aunt Peng couldn't believe it either. When did Shuyi find out her true thoughts?Many times, Shu Yi tried the following hypotheses: assuming that the young man at the door was her hallucination, and assuming that going to the courtyard with Aunt Peng later was just a dream of hers.What happened later contradicted the previous assumption, because at her home, sitting at this table, she and Aunt Peng talked about the courtyard and the young man lying in the secret room many times.And when talking about it, it was not she who reminded Aunt Peng, but Aunt Peng who reminded her of all the relevant details.How much time they had spent in that kind of sad memory, that kind of common memory is certainly not Aunt Peng's indulgence to her.

Throughout the day, Shu Yi was exhausted by doubts about himself.She went to bed early, and the front of the tent was fastened with many clips.When I woke up and looked at the alarm clock beside me, it was only two o'clock in the morning.Then a premonition welled up in her heart.Sure enough, there was a suspicious sound under the mattress at her feet, and Shu Yi jumped barefoot under the bed with a loud cry, and the mosquito net was almost torn by her.The black butterflies "rustled" in the tent, and for a while sat on the ground in terror, unable to move.Later she found the shoes, put them on and fled to the door, and closed the door behind her backhand.Trembling, she knocked on Aunt Peng's door, and Aunt Peng came out with her eyes swollen.When they arrived at her house, Aunt Peng stepped forward and pulled open the mosquito net, and the guy flew out of the door with a whimper, disappearing into the bright night sky.The moon that night gave off a rosy light, which made people daydream.After Aunt Peng left, Shu Yi carefully inspected the mattress and sheets, worried that butterflies had laid eggs inside, so she removed the mosquito net.Putting on the reading glasses and looking carefully, I kept tossing like this until dawn, and that horrible scene appeared in my mind over and over again.At eight o'clock in the morning, Aunt Peng came again. At this time, Shu Yi was reclining on the recliner and dreaming. In her dream, there was a pot of charcoal fire—because the sun was shining on her face at this time.Aunt Peng kept shaking her head seeing Shu Yi's downcast appearance, and helped her make the bed and hang up the mosquito net.Shu Yi stood by and watched her busy with regret.

The arrival of the butterflies once again proved everything that happened in the courtyard that Wednesday. Shu Yi was refreshed and felt that he was getting out of the entanglement of hallucinations.This feeling lasted for a few minutes, and Aunt Peng's knowing smile made her panic again.Aunt Peng didn't say anything, but Shuyi read from her face that the matter of the butterfly was not accidental.In a flash, Shu Yi even thought that the butterfly might have been placed in her room by Aunt Peng.What had just been confirmed became vague again. "Today I have to wash the sheets and mattresses," Shuyi said.

"Well, it's such a sunny day, isn't this weather worth recording?" That evening, after finishing all the housework, Shu Yi tore out a page with pictures in her notebook, and she was delighted by her way of doing so.She thought that every time a page of patterns was torn off, the notebook in her mind would add a blank page.Sleeping on the fluffy sun-baked mattress, the fear of last night has disappeared without a trace.Isn't it just a butterfly?How could she be sure that it was a poisonous butterfly?She slept with it and nothing happened.Even if you have hallucinations, if you don't try hard to distinguish, there is no harm. Maybe it is a kind of illusion that has a strong appeal to an old woman like her, and she will spend the rest of her life in that illusion. It's normal, but it can't be said to be a bad choice.At this moment, Shu Yi is trying his best to think out the details of the process of going out to the suburbs of the city.At that time, she was sitting on the bus, and there was a farmer sitting next to her, a stuffy old farmer who had been working in the fields for many years, wearing a cheap sweater, and his eyes were dim. The old farmer once stood up, opened the window, and waved a hand Greeting someone outside, he repeated this action several times.It stands to reason that the car is driving, and it is impossible for him to greet someone outside the window. What is he doing?Maybe he's signaling somewhere?All the details that came to mind in the remembrance were so vivid that it was suspicious, and she was not sure whether this kind of thing happened or not.When getting out of the car, a boy bumped into her. She couldn't stand still and almost fell out of the car door, and the bag in her hand fell to the ground.The boy also scolded her loudly.Shu Yi looked at the wall, recalling the embarrassment he was in at that time, he still couldn't help blushing and shy.She only now remembered that at least half of the people in the car hadn't gotten out of the car.Now that the car has broken down, why are those people sitting still?Could it be that the driver tricked her into getting out of the car?She did remember that a bus did pass her on the way to the hotel.It was probably the car she was in.She tried her best to recall the driver's appearance, remembering that he always wore a small straw hat and never turned his face away, so Shuyi never saw his face from the beginning to the end.When he thought that he might have something to do with the Xinghuacun Hotel, Shu Yi shivered.If so, her departure that evening was not a whim, but some kind of temptation that she was unaware of.It is true that there are some things that we will never be aware of, those things that we live in, yet are thousands of miles away from them.If the reasoning goes on, I should have already been involved in such a dark place as the Xinghua Village Hotel, and Meihua's brother probably wouldn't stand in front of her window for no reason.And Aunt Peng, Aunt Peng's younger sister, a vegetable vendor... Since when did they form such a net around themselves?Or are you just unaware of being on the Internet?For example, the tofu chef across the street visited her at her window no less than three times a day during her illness, and once put a bowl of tofu nao with sugar on her table.For so many years, Shu Yi has always been a loner, arrogant and conceited, but she did not expect that the real situation is exactly the opposite of her self-feeling.After thinking about it, there is only one possibility. This psychedelic web was unknowingly woven by herself over the years. She is not alone at all, but has been acting under the watchful eyes of everyone. Freedom is nothing but the acquiescence of these people.Many years ago, she broke free from the chaos of life, settled in this place logically, and began to imagine the process of death.one day.She analyzed the neighbors one by one, and felt that only Aunt Peng could be her final partner. Of course, there is a prerequisite for this, that is, she must die behind her. For some reason, Shu Yi has always believed in this point.Every time she imagined the situation of dying, there was always this Aunt Peng, who she hated, beside her.At that time, she tried to see her life as very simple. Except for Aunt Peng, who was tolerated, she rejected everyone, thinking that they had nothing to do with her.But why must Aunt Peng be by her side?In her bones, she was still so afraid of being alone.At the beginning, she thought it was a narrow path leading to the end, but she didn't expect that the situation would become complicated as she walked, and she often felt lost and desperate.Let’s talk about making records, which is far from the original intention.I thought that if I follow the steps step by step, I will eventually become one with the incomparably wonderful nature, but now I realize that nature completely rejects me. No matter how hard I try, I just wander outside of it.A few days ago, she got up in the middle of the night and drew a gear-shaped thing in her notebook. She was very excited for a while, but the beautiful golden monkey that appeared in her memory before going to bed made her feel disheartened again. Mao is so dazzling.It has been a long time, and the imaginary sky is no longer filled with those bright clouds, and it is so empty that it makes people feel flustered.The lemon tree did appear once, no, it was two side by side, but two dead trees, bare, listlessly standing on the barren land, with a pitiful appearance.She wanted to search the courtyard where Brother Plum Blossom was, but she failed again and again, and the place disappeared without a trace in her memory.Only those spiky human figures bustled about under the dismal sky, reminiscent of gregarious apes.On the street, the motor of a parked tractor rattled and the stench of burning diesel continued.It seems that the other style of recording is about to lose its hold. The time when the gear was drawn was a signal. Of course, she still has to resist for a while. She has been engaging in this stubborn trick all her life. At a loss, she went to the old place again.The black door was closed tightly, and the lock on the door was rusted.Listening carefully, the sound of a pile driver came from far away inside.Shu Yi closed his eyes for a while, imagining how this deep courtyard would become an infrastructure construction site, and his body felt numb.As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw Mei Hua's elder brother leaning against the wall alone, his ugly fingers gently picking at the limestone on the wall, and white powder fell on his sleeves one after another. "I hate..." he said, moving his blackened lips. "Do you have no place to stay?" Shu Yi asked him sympathetically. "There are a lot of vacant houses on the construction site. You don't know the joy of wandering. At night, all kinds of people come out, like a playground. Of course, no one will make a sound rashly. Fascinated!" Shu Yi didn't dare to meet his glass ball-like eyes, she frowned and looked at the vehicles on the road.She felt that the young man's appearance had changed greatly, his body was completely dilapidated, like an old abandoned house, and his voice was also strange, making a humming resonance, as if his chest was empty.Now he took a few steps towards her and said angrily: "Have you been to Xinghua Village, that kind of place is specially for the elderly to realize their dreams, how can you just forget it." Shu Yi turned around and left. After walking a long distance, he turned around and saw the young man with his limbs stretched out against the wall.That look gave her a very sad impression.Just yesterday, Aunt Peng made a wish to her to go to the courtyard with her again to relive the past.Of course she would not be ignorant of the changes that took place there, she must have proposed to Shu Yi after knowing the changes.It seems that the previous scene has really become a dream of the two of them. In reality, even the traces may have disappeared.This young man stuck to the wall like a spider in front of him is a good example. Did he ever lie in a secret room at the end of the deep courtyard in a certain afternoon?Shu Yi was the only one who felt sad about the changes in the black gate, neither Aunt Peng nor the young man felt this way, and the young man even talked about some kind of fun!Shuyi understood in an instant that there is a different climate and scenery in nature, completely different from what she saw on the surface, that scenery belongs to another kind of person, and she can only It was vaguely felt outside the circle.The chase in the empty house in the middle of the night, the blindfolded dangerous game, what would happen if all these really happened?The black gate opened, and several large trucks carrying muck came out of it. When I looked closely, the young man stuck on the wall had disappeared.A gust of wind blew, and the dust from the truck hit Shu Yi's face, making her tearful, and hurriedly took out a handkerchief to wipe it again and again.She comforted herself and said: People cannot enter their own dreams. As winter approached, the frames of several tall buildings rose at the end of the street, and the big black door had been dismantled.Vehicles transporting materials came and went, loess was sprinkled everywhere on the street, and when the wind blew, pedestrians couldn't open their eyes.Not giving up, she went to check the frame of the building many times at night. She walked up the concrete steps without handrails, turning one turn after another. Those steps were endless, and every time she climbed halfway, she couldn’t climb , so turn right toward a platform.The cold moonlight shone on her, and she was often frightened by her own shadow.In the silence, she thought more than once, maybe Meihua and her brother are chasing on these platforms, how bold and arrogant these young people must be.When she went down, she was terrified. If she rolled down in this kind of place, it would give her a feeling that she was about to fall into the bottomless abyss.Listening to her hesitant footsteps, she clearly felt a black shadow approaching her, and felt that the most unknown moment was waiting for her at the turn of the next floor.When you are tired from walking and sit on the steps to rest.Shuyi thought of those people she didn't understand, those people had always lived in this city.She suddenly realized that the city itself is equivalent to the bottom of the deep sea. People are often deceived by the noise on its surface, and do not understand its silent nature.The world of silence coexists with the world of posthumous writings, and the two have developed in parallel to this day.In her previous life, she also encountered people and things she could not understand several times.It is very likely that the parallel lines crossed, and after a short impact, the two returned to their original orbits.The situation has changed a lot in the past year. The hidden world has surfaced, disrupting and confusing everything.Is this a hallucination of the elderly, a natural change in her own physiology, or a trick of nature?When Shu Yi was troubled by chaotic thoughts, he saw the ladder above her floating and making a "creaking" sound.What will it be like on the highest platform?The reason why she couldn't go to that place was because she was physically weak on the one hand, and the main reason was because she was afraid.Because one night, there was indeed a strange sound from that high place. At that time, she thought that the unknown moment was coming, but nothing happened afterwards, and the short cry never sounded again. It is a night bird.The activities at night were not in vain. She picked up a jade paperweight on the platform of a certain floor, which was shaped like a coiled snake. It was shining in the night, and she saw it immediately.She carried it down the stairs as if she had a lump of coal in her bosom.She put the paperweight on the table at home, and its light disappeared immediately. It was just a piece of rough and dull jade, and it was still a question of whether it could be regarded as jade.At night, Shuyi turned off the light, took the paperweight in his hand and looked at it over and over again, but it still didn't shine.Later, she finally recalled that she had seen this paperweight on Brother Meihua's window sill. At that time, she picked it up curiously and looked at it. Aunt Peng also noticed the strange shape of the paperweight.When Aunt Peng came a few days ago, Shu Yi held the paperweight up to her nose. Aunt Peng exaggeratedly sniffed it a few times, saying that she "smelled a strange smell in the tomb", but she did not admit that she had ever seen this object.After picking up the paperweight, Shu Yi paid more attention to those glowing things at night, and she imagined that her eyes had become cat's eyes, extremely sharp.Sure enough, she later picked up the fat woman's butterfly net, which was phosphorescent on the steps.Aunt Peng laughed at her and said that if she continued to check like her, she would bring the whole world into her home.Shu Yi heard her pronounce the words "the whole world" intentionally vague.Afterwards, she never picked up anything that glowed at night, no matter how wide she opened her eyes, it was in vain. Descending from the ladder, she saw the workers stirring cement and pebbles under the lights.The lights were dim, casting a yellow halo, and those people were waving shovels beside the roaring mixer, each with a ferocious face.Out of fear, Shu Yi started running.They found her anyway, turned off the blender, and berated her loudly.She had no choice but to stop and walk closer like a child who made a mistake.The dark, thin, short man said to her hoarsely: "Don't come here to hang around. There are always accidents here. There is a corpse on the platform almost every morning. They all want to climb to the top along the stairs. Where can they climb? The fate can be imagined. Those corpses, we will kill them Put it all in the blender." After listening to these warnings, Shuyi walked in a daze, and suddenly touched a wall. It turned out that he had walked under another unfinished building, and someone was mixing cement in front of this building.She hurriedly hid in the shadow of the wall, and walked around those people quietly.But she got lost after rounding the building.Looking up, there are unfinished buildings everywhere, and there are mixers in front of each building. She didn't expect the construction site to be so big and have so many houses.Thinking back to the last time I came here with Aunt Peng, the yard wasn't necessarily that big.Besides, I have lived here for decades, so I can't even figure out the scope of this area?The only explanation can only be that without her knowledge, the construction site is expanding to the west, which was originally a piece of farmland.But in such a dark night, how could she tell the difference between south, east and north?Shu Yi's feet were tired from walking, so he had no choice but to go up the stairs of a building to the platform on the second floor and sit down against a wall.She could only smile wryly at the absurdity.She, an old woman, was tired of living and came out to hunt at night, and now she was too old to find her way back, so she had to wait for someone to murder on the platform, and then put her old bones into the blender.While thinking this way, she felt a dark figure come up the ladder and walked into the platform, maybe squatting at the door opposite her, the place was very dark.After some time, she leaned against the wall and fell asleep.The fear didn't go away in her sleep, and she saw a leopard bite her foot with its mouth wide open, but it still couldn't bite.The idea came to her mind: Since the animal never let go, she might as well go on sleeping.Just like this, I woke up and slept until dawn, but my back hurt like someone interrupted me. I wanted to stand up, but I fell to the ground. The moment I fell, I saw a dead person in front of me, and that guy also jumped. Form a "big" universe on the ground.In my last thoughts, he must be the black shadow from last night. He must have been hunted down by someone. This is probably the "game" that Brother Plum Blossom mentioned.She lay on the ground for a while before trying to stand up. Because she was worried, she kicked the corpse a few times, but there was no movement, and then she went downstairs slowly.Then the fear in her heart was gone.When you go down the stairs you will see the street. "Didn't expect to sleep in that place for a night. I'm getting ridiculous as I get older. I don't know how to explain it. Should I blame myself for what I did?" "You have condemned yourself." Aunt Peng looked at her and said, "You are not fragile at all, you can say that the older you get, the harder you are." "I didn't find anything last night, that place is disgusting." While Shuyi said "disgusting", she saw the lights flickering in her mind, and she stopped in surprise.At this time, Aunt Peng was still looking at her, which made her very uncomfortable.Suddenly, Aunt Peng pouted and asked her to look out the window, and Shu Yi looked up.I saw the owner of the tofu shop waving to her across the road.Shuyi asked him loudly what was the matter, and he ran over to talk to him. "The sight of the two old ladies standing together and talking is really touching!" He leaned on the window sill and exclaimed. He is a fat middle-aged man with two eyes that look a bit like pig's eyes. "I have seen your son. He fainted in the tofu workshop. He fainted from hunger. I let him eat two pieces of raw tofu. Your son is really strong." "He's not my son, don't talk nonsense." Shu Yi said angrily. "It's the same. He always stands in front of your house looking at you. I think who else could it be? Strange to say, once he brought a jade paperweight to exchange tofu with me. The origin of the thing is unknown. I How could I want him. I gave him tofu for nothing, but he treated me with contempt, it's hard to guess people's hearts." Hearing this, Shu Yi couldn't bear Aunt Peng's stare anymore, so he asked the owner of the tofu shop with a sullen face what was the matter.This question stopped him. "What do I want from you? Of course there is nothing. It turns out that you don't care about your son at all. I thought I was collecting information about him for you. I was completely wrong." He turned away in frustration. The jade paperweight was placed on the table of the relics, fortunately the man didn't see it just now.Had he also taken part in the trappings?Is there such a coincidence in the world?This person is not like Meihua's brother who roams around the city. He is a real rough man who has been making tofu across from her house for decades. Shuyi never expected that he would do the same. It's scary to say such a thing, and to have a relationship with Meihua's brother a long time ago. "Didn't you tell me that young man has passed away?" Shu Yi finally looked directly at Aunt Peng and asked. "I'm not talking about the same person at all. You're talking about the man standing at your window, a man I've never seen before, and you're conflating him with the sick young man we went to see. And then you Picking up items from the construction site and saying they have something to do with that visit is all on your side." Shiyi became more and more hesitant, not knowing how to describe the changes in the weather.She sees false expressions in the faces of nature.Indifferent and distant expression.Only then did she wake up, and felt that her previous intoxication was really unreasonable.Sometimes she thinks for a long time and draws a series of triangles in her notebook, like a group of soldiers marching towards a certain place.While drawing, she thought, these triangles are rain, and the raindrops absorbed by the earth flow to the center of the earth, to the extremely dark place where conspiracy gathers.And the sunny day after the heavy rain stretched his face, as if nothing had happened.Really, how much do people know about nature?She touched her wrinkled cheeks, thinking of the years she had wasted in vain on this matter.When she and Aunt Peng were young, they often argued over whether to bring an umbrella or not when they went out.Although her intuition proved to be correct every time, Aunt Peng did not appreciate her intuition, and often called her a "prophet" mockingly, which made her angry.Aunt Peng never admits her mistakes. If it turns out that she is wrong, she still insists on arguing, and in turn warns her to tell her not to be confused by superficial phenomena, and not to put all her mind on guessing the intention of nature.In retrospect, when I bought a notebook to record the weather, my original intention was to fight against Aunt Peng.For decades, she has been very ignorant of Aunt Peng's stubborn way of thinking, always secretly trying to defeat her, or at least not let her interfere with her, but the result of such efforts is that she finally collapsed completely and was She led the nose and ran away.How did Aunt Peng, who has worked with her for many years, grasp the true meaning of nature?She doesn't belong to that kind of shadow person, she has more mundane atmosphere than herself, but she understands some abnormal things better than herself.In the eyes of her neighbors, she is a loud old woman whose favorite thing to do is to expose other people's ugliness, short-sighted, and illogical in her thinking.However, it was such a person that prompted Shu Yi to enter the psychedelic world she is currently in.Maybe those years she spent in a daze were like a stream of rain, always penetrating into the unknown depths of darkness.What a long and ignorant process that was.Now she is more humble.Because she didn't know how to evaluate herself, she began to look at the faces of the people around her, and asked some marginal topics cautiously.For example, when I go shopping for vegetables, I ask the vegetable vendor, is this business out of interest or forced by life?Have you ever thought about changing careers?When passing by the tofu shop, she pretended to pick up the tofu from the water, looked left and right, and asked the boss brazenly: how to deal with the unsold tofu?Of course she never got an answer, the other party just looked at her, expecting, to see what she had to say.To her, this attitude was worse than taunting, and she just walked away with nothing.Aunt Peng's attitude was a little different from theirs. Aunt Peng seemed to be positive about the changes that had occurred in Shuyi, but she completely denied her judgment and regarded her as an old man who was sick.As a result, the emotions of the posthumous essay also fluctuated up and down according to her attitude. One day she was driving to the city center for a haircut, and she saw the old farmer in the car. For a moment, she was not sure whether she had really seen him before, maybe he just fit her fictional image. .She walked over and stood next to him, the old farmer looked at her with contempt and disapproval in his eyes, Su Yi, who was about to speak, swallowed back her words, and the question of whether he had seen him could not be answered.After a while, the old farmer actually left his seat and stood at the other end of the carriage.从理发店回来的述遗一路上都好像在梦游，后来走过了自己的家门都不知道。那天晚上回忆就同洪水一样汹涌，五花八门的片断令她目不暇接，她甚至记起了两岁时母亲系在她脚上的一个铃铛，也记起了母亲当时的样子。那模样似乎不太好看，还有点粗俗。她的想像驰骋着，中了魔一样，愿意想什么就可以想出什么。她甚至想起了一种奇异的豌豆，是她四岁时在坡上摘到的，豆荚里的豆子有三种颜色，红、蓝、绿。她剥开那些豆荚时，有一条蝮蛇在她眼前的空中游动，天上黑云重重。她突然觉得要下雨，扔了豆荚就往家里跑，雨还是在半途下来了，将她从头到脚淋了个通透。三色豌豆的事似乎从未留在她的记忆里，现在却想起来了。 "述遗，述遗，你将来的路怎么走啊。"年轻时彭姨总做出发愁的样子乱说一气。述遗自己有时也发愁，总的说来还是蒙着头往前闯。很难说出彭姨对她预见事物的能力是厌恶还是欣赏。争吵了几十年之后，这种能力让她看到了另一个世界的蛛丝马迹，这一点肯定要归功于彭姨的坚持不懈。为什么接近了大自然的本质，大自然反而对她疏远了呢？也许那另一个世界并不是隐藏的世界，而是一切，是全部？在黑乎乎的、荒凉的夜里，玉石镇纸是真的发过那种光呀，不然人老眼花的她又怎么会捡得到那玩意儿？ 豆腐坊的女人们坐成一排，注意地打量着述遗。 "现在除了那种人以外，很少碰到在外面乱走的人了。一般人在外走都有目的。"她们这样说道，都显出不赞成述遗的样子。 述遗惭愧地用手巾包了豆腐准备回家，却被她们拦住，一定要她参观一下她们住的地方，她们说这样会使她这种老太婆大开眼界。她们簇拥着她往前走，在潮湿黑暗的小巷子里转了好几个弯，然后沿一条短短的地下通道进了一间黑屋子，过了一会儿灯才打开。述遗看见这根本不是一间房，而是那个过道的延续，有一张铁床放在墙边，上面躺了一个男人。过道的前方像电影镜头似的出现了模模糊糊的山峦的轮廓，那是夜幕下的山，单调而虚幻。述遗往前方的山峦的方向走了几步，这时她发现豆腐坊的女人全都悄悄离开了。山似乎就在眼前，而且从前看到过的那些形状像子弹头的人影又出现了，排成队，往山里走，一共大约有十几个人。 "看什么呢？"床上的男人忽然讲话了，"那些个人，您看着离得很近，其实离得很远，您怎么走也是到不了他们身边的。" 他坐了起来，一副发呆的、若有所思的模样，述遗的记忆复活了，她曾经在郊外的烧饼铺里见过这个人一面，当时他就坐在自己对面啃烧饼，脚边还放了一篮子新鲜鱼。不过他脚边的一篮子鱼是现在才想起来的，那个时候她似乎没看到。 "到不了他们身边。"他重复说，"我天天都在这里看，我们看见的是夜景，而现在外面却是白天，时间差异太大了。上面那些个女人也对这种事有兴趣，但是她们每天来看一看就走了，只有我一个人是每天留守在这里。您瞧，那些人上山了。他们是一个小社会，您一定是偶然撞上了他们吧？您不要着急，相遇的机会还多的是。有一天，他们当中的一个走到了我面前，这是一个白胡子老汉，比一般人都要矮小，长着土色的皮肤，脸上五官很不对称，如同一团泥巴上随便挖了几个洞。他那双乌黑的手大得出奇，手掌上满是裂口，裂口内凝着暗红的血，像是被用小刀割出来的一样，十分触目。也许他是用这双手在山上的土里寻找植物的块根来充饥吧。" "您没有试图去加入他们的社会吗？"述遗问，完全被他的话吸引住了。 "啊，我根本走不到他们面前去，他们行踪无定，我和他们之间又隔着时间。有一回我在山里爬了两天两夜！有时他们也去村里，情形也是一样，不但追不上，就是追上了也是认不出。他们做出若无其事的样子，您就会认错了人。他们虽属于另外一个社会，但身上并没有标记。" "我也碰到过一些人。不，确切地说，不是碰到，而是我逐渐从一个一个周围人身上认出了我不熟悉的那种特征。您刚才说他们属于另一个社会，我也一直这样想。可是我又想，为什么所有的人全显出了那种特征呢？那另一个社会会不会就是我所生活的这个社会呢？啊，我真是混乱极了。" 述遗同那人告别，回到豆腐坊，看见那些女人正在忙忙碌碌，谁也没注意到她。她从柜台上拿了自己的豆腐就走。走到门口又看见老板从外面进来，老板礼节性地同她招呼，一点都看不出什么异样。一个念头在述遗脑海里一闪：也许他们就是山那边那个社会里的人？他们会不会装出忙碌的样子，一转背就钻到那个地下过道，然后就加入那一伙去了呢？难道真有那么些住在山里的原始人吗？刚才的这一场转换搞得她有点头重脚轻，她赶紧回到家在躺椅上躺下了。 "豆腐坊旁边有个黑暗的通道，那里的风景美不胜收。"述遗痛苦地在彭姨面前回忆着当天的遭遇。 "啊，不要经常往那种地方去，那是个鬼门关，除了那个痴心妄想的男人，谁会坚守在那种地方？" "你认识他？" "好多年以前，他是我丈夫。一个丧失了生活能力的人。" 两个老女人神经质地对视着，目光里慢慢显出些苍凉的味道。过了一会儿，彭姨突然笑了起来，拍着述遗的肩大声说： "那些弯弯角角的地方，你都已经钻遍了嘛，你的好奇心真不小哇！怎么会越老还越不肯罢休，快入土的人了。" 述遗的肩胛骨被她的胖手拍得很痛，不由得怜惜起自己这把老骨头来。她想，彭姨真是个大冤家，连自己的丈夫都离她而去，这种日子是怎么过来的呀。不过她并不了解实情，这对夫妇说不定时常暗中见面，就像一个秘密组织成员似的进行那种地下联络。 夜幕就要降临，豆腐坊那边变得静悄悄的，那中年女人正低着头往外走。述遗的心颤抖了一下，回过头去问彭姨说： "她们是怎样知道那种秘密的呢？" "那根本就不是秘密，谁都想要往那种地方跑，人的天性嘛。"