Chapter 12 Chapter 5

It was already March, and the rotten weather began to recover, the end of the sky was painted with crystal color, and the reddish warm light climbed above people's heads.Every inch of the picture is fresh and elegant, but my mood is like a broken-tailed fish that has fallen into the ocean, unable to keep up with the leadership of the fish, and lost myself in the deepest sea. As I think about it now, that afternoon was almost a dream.Dry by the wind, gradually peeling, dry dream.In the dream, the flames of death burned off my tail.I didn't run away in a hurry, and I didn't panic.I am like a feelingless and ruthless walking dead, letting the scorching flames lick my body.

I heard the ever-expanding roar in my ears, repeating the death call on the same frequency, they said grandma was dead. When I wrote these four words, my hands were shaking.The teardrops that had been circling in his eyes for a long time finally lost their strength and fell down.From then on, I will become the loneliest traveler in the world, and my dearest people will leave me when I need it most.And I will be the most accidental child in the world, because I only show my innocence in front of her. I knew that this catastrophe was inevitable. From the moment I was born, death was like a slow countdown timer hanging around everyone's neck.It's just that the mischievous Grim Reaper always makes the utensils carrying death into exquisite shapes. Sometimes we laugh and laugh, and forget, and really regard it as an ornament.

And the me who laughs and makes trouble, the me who worries about changing hairstyles and buying famous brands all day long, the me who has many friends who can hang out with friends, the me who keeps praying to God to give me a beautiful boy boyfriend, the shallow me, the vain I, with a thousand emotions and thoughts in my heart but very little emotion and thoughts about my gradually aging grandma, was hit in the heart by the explosion-like sound when the timer ended. I was sitting in the classroom when my father called, I don't know if I was busy with ancient Chinese translation or chemical balance.I took out the vibrating mobile phone from my bag, and pressed the answer button briskly, thinking that my father would say something unnutritious next, such as "I forgot to bring my keys, come back early from school." or "I put my wallet away." Where is it, I can’t find it after searching.” Or “Where did you receive my blue shirt?” My nervous dad can always find a thousand reasons, and ten thousand reasons are in my heart. Make a sneak call when you are serious about class.I thought it would be as normal this time as usual, but that's just what I thought.Death strikes without a hint of warning.

Dad sighed slightly on the phone and said, "Your grandma is gone." The smile on my face gradually loosened.I'm like a primary school student who can't figure out the subject and predicate. After thinking about it for a long time, I can't believe the meaning of this sentence.He said she was gone, nothing but gone.So where is she going, why is she going, is there anyone to accompany her because of her inconvenient legs and feet?She is more afraid of being alone than I am.Wouldn't she get lost if she went alone? I pressed the call button and cried helplessly. I asked the teacher for leave.I took the bus from the west side of the city and changed to the subway.It took two hours to reach the east side where grandma lives, but does grandma still live in the east?I raised my head and looked at the unfathomable blue sky.

Magnolia flowers are already in full bloom in the community where grandma lives.The pure white and pink flower trees are arranged closely.I use my fading eyesight to discover these beauties and smell their fragrances.With tears still remaining on my face, I smiled unconsciously. I thought of grandma, who, like any ordinary woman, loved flowers very much.It's just that she is getting old, and she doesn't want the roses of lovers, nor the flowers of praise.She likes to hold my hand, stop and go on the familiar streets, and she will be happy to see any small flowers blooming on the side of the road.She called me by my nickname in soft Shanghai dialect, she said, "Jingjing, look, look." Then she pointed to a flowering tree not far away that was in full bloom.She is not good at words, and she doesn't like to talk too much.She always said some of the simplest sentences, but enough to warm people's hearts.

She also likes to be beautiful, she loves to wear cheongsams, those delicate silks and satins are always embroidered with big and bright flowers.I always laughed at her for being vulgar, but she didn't refute it and let me say it.She has a dark green gown, which is densely embroidered with gold thread peony flowers very expressively.I picked this cheongsam for my grandma when I was playing in Suzhou.I have always believed that this is the legendary Suzhou embroidery.I like it so much that I always pester my grandma to wear it.I put my arms around her neck, shaking my head and making trouble for no reason.

I said, "Grandma, you can wear that cheongsam when you go out later, okay?" Grandma patted my hands that circled hers and told me to stop making trouble, the old woman still wears such a gown.I still insist on her wearing it.Grandma had nothing to do with me, so she had to promise me "ouch, ouch".In fact, the so-called "wait to go out" is nothing more than going to the market to buy half a catty of three yellow chickens, and a bag of fried chestnuts with sugar.It's all my favorite food.Grandma has diabetes and cannot eat fried chestnuts with sugar. Every time I think of grandma blushing and wearing that fancy cheongsam that exposed most of her arms, I can't help but smile.How beautiful my grandmother was at that time, she was the most beautiful old lady in the world, and no one could compare to her.I took her arm and jumped happily in the sun.I'm only like a child when I'm around my grandma.Only by facing my grandma can I be the truest me without any scruples.

The whole family seemed to be here.When I entered the door, I saw my father, his face was as calm as ever.He told me to go in, but he went out by himself.I saw people I didn't know coming in and going out of the room.They held a thick plain white envelope in their hands.When they saw me, they shook their heads sadly, as if their hearts hurt more than mine.I think they can go to win the award, even if they can't win the Oscar, they can come back with a golden ball. There are those who hold envelopes and those who deliver things.I find it very strange that you didn't come when grandma was here, but now you all come here.Grandma doesn't need these things at all.I saw some flower baskets and fruits piled up in the corner of the room.Red plastic bags hold green veined watermelons that shouldn't be in season.

I suddenly remembered when I was young, when my grandma was still young.It seems that he is not yet sixty years old, at most fifty, sixty or seventy.On summer nights, my grandma and I each held half a watermelon, sitting on the balcony and enjoying the cool while eating.In fact, I can't eat so much at all, but in order to make grandma happy (she is always very happy to see me eating), I ate half a watermelon abruptly. We didn't talk, looked at the lonely stars, blowing the comfortable wind, holding the cool watermelon.Drops of water oozed from the skin of the melon and wet the palms of my hands.Like the softest brocade spread in the heart.Although I didn't have any good playmates in my childhood, I could always be with my grandma.That's good, that's enough.

When it comes to eating, grandma is unambiguous at all.She always wants me to eat more.Because her disappointing son doesn't know how to take care of me.When I was very young, I was forced to take out popsicles from the refrigerator for breakfast.But if it is with grandma, she will get up early in the morning to buy cocoa milk and steamed buns for me.I only like to eat these two, and only she will remember.She always brings them to me while they are still steaming hot.If I stay up late, I will be scolded.But she always tried to fool me at the beginning by telling some embarrassing things about me when I was younger.She said I didn't let her sleep when I was a kid.Get up in the morning and stand on the bed to sing, the line is roughly "big rooster, so beautiful. Little cat, so naughty." I immediately blushed, I said grandma, I'm afraid of you, I still wake up can't you?

Grandma gets up very early, usually around seven or eight o'clock after breakfast.I will accompany her to feed the birds flying from the balcony.Grandma likes small animals very much, and even raised goldfish and little turtles.But my favorite is the dog.I used to raise a Beijing Shih Tzu with a flat face and white hair.Although this dog's temperament is more noble and elegant, but grandma doesn't care about it at all, and still gives it a very vulgar name, Laifu.Because grandma thinks that the family will be blessed if she calls like this.It's the same as the lucky cat.At times like this, I always laugh at her for being superstitious.At first I didn't want to call it that, but after I got used to it, I developed feelings for it.Laifu is a little male dog, he was very good when he was little, always curled up under grandma's feet, sometimes I would be very jealous of him.Of course, I was jealous that a dog was too weak to be on the stage, so I was secretly upset in my heart.When grandma still had Laifu not paying attention, she kicked Laifu's dog bowl under the sofa.But I forgot that Laifu is a dog, and its nose is sharper than anyone else.It can break through my small meter at once, and then bark and call grandma over.At that time, I thought in my heart that Laifu is not a fuel-efficient lamp, so I have to be careful in the future.As a result, within two years, it started to be muddleheaded, chasing all the little bitches in the community, definitely a good material for a playboy.So grandma gave it to the family upstairs with the prettiest little bitch.On the contrary, it made the kid and grandma's aging years come true. My aunt saw me, and she said, "What are you doing there? Come over and have some food." I saw that she was no different from usual, with deep eyeliner, bright red lipstick, and a black suit.A refined and capable look.I'm a little overwhelmed.I think grown-ups are really terrible creatures.How can they be so indifferent?Their hearts are like meteorites falling from the sky, they don't know where they came from and are even more indestructible.I looked at her, not knowing what to say.But she spoke first, and she said: "Come over here and eat quickly, this is the pickled melon drowned by grandma, she also said that you like it, and asked us to save it for you..." She choked up as she spoke .I think meteorites are not indestructible, they are just tempered by the protective layer of the earth. After dinner, I ran out alone.I revisited the streets and parks I walked with my grandma.They are still the same as when I came on vacation, just a few minor changes.It was already night, and the streets were covered with bright spots of light. I walked past the cold drink shop where my grandma bought me cold drinks. The steps of the small shop were worn out, but the three-color cups and mung bean popsicles it sold were still very delicious.Their clear taste is definitely comparable to Ai Sicili and Dairy Queen.I walked past the welfare lottery sales point with a small canopy. Many people's unrealistic dreams were hidden in its cramped space.There is also a grandma in there. She buys a few yuan every day, saying that if she wins the lottery, she will keep it as a dowry for me.I walked past the bus stop under the overpass. Every time I came to grandma, she always waited at the bus stop early, as if she was afraid that I would not recognize her.I walked past the kindergarten I went to when I was a child. Its appearance has been refurbished long ago, becoming tough and fashionable, and it has completely lost the cute and childlike appearance when I was a child.In the past, there were colorful animals on its door, and grandma had been standing in front of the grass-green bunny waiting for me after school.I walked through the park in the middle of the street with overgrown branches, and there were energetic grandpas and grandmas waltzing to the rough but melodious music in the tape recorder. Every time I encountered such a scene before, my grandma always watched silently. Grandma's legs and feet are inconvenient, so she can only watch others dance gracefully with envy.But her envious eyes hurt my heart.How I wish grandma could also sing a song with the wind, as long as she dances.You who are so kind and gentle, you who are so innocent and transparent, you who love and love me so much.My existence becomes meaningful because of you.To me you are the dearest person in this world.I don't know what else I can use to repay your kindness to me, even if it's just a smile, I can't give you a kiss.Then at this illusory moment, I hope to use my only proud words to help you realize this dreamlike wish. On the bank of your favorite West Lake, in the spring of your favorite blue sky and clear shadows, in the arms of your favorite man.The man you love the most is my grandfather. I have never met him. He passed away earlier than you.I have seen photos of my grandfather when he was young. He has a firm face, eyes like bright stars, and the most perfect thin lips.In the arms of such a man, you become the innocent girl 50 years ago.Wearing a water-red dress, her smile is brighter than the waves of the West Lake.With such a fascinating smile, you swayed slowly, and you gently circled with your toes.Then the emotional music sounded, it was Bandari's "Summer Waltz".You dance lightly, your footsteps are like butterflies flying lightly.The most beautiful moments bloom bright flowers in your whirling skirt.The man you love the most smiles affectionately at you once again. The footpath by the West Lake was gradually besieged, and all the onlookers were admiring the graceful dancing steps of this pair of lovers made of jasper.The music is endless, and my heart gradually becomes calm. I looked down and shook the death timer on my chest.It was still turning around endlessly, tick-tock counting down.It will also expire someday.At that time, I didn't want to hear the cracking sound, just a weak sigh. That sigh was like you rocked me to sleep on a summer night many years ago, and you worried that if you were gone, who else could give her delicate love?You shook your cattail fan and let out a soft "Hey...". I would like to take this as a dedication to my dear 0501 class. This summer, I was immersed in loneliness.Friends are all attending various cram schools outside, hiding in the buildings of this city.I am used to surfing the Internet in the morning. During this good time, those familiar avatars in the friends list will only be gray. final exam.Get the report card.Learn agriculture.When these programs are running, we have been laughing and making noises, and it is really not an forced smile. Regarding parting, we tacitly. During the period when the final exam was approaching, the teacher sent down many test papers for us to practice.Every time I get the test paper, I always write my name and class in the upper left corner habitually, and then I think melancholy that I will not be able to write this class behind my name in the future. The weather was getting hotter day by day, and the countdown to the term exam on the blackboard at the back became 10 days.Xiaoqing told me that we will no longer belong to this group in 10 days. I was speechless, and then saw that in the twilight, the outlines of the classroom tables and chairs became dignified. The back road has been sealed, and the front road is full of desolation.This is my own choice. I always remember that Sui Sui held my hand tightly when sending out the letter of intent for liberal arts.My fingers ached, but I kept smiling at her. But now, next to my right hand, I can no longer find your left hand.In the empty palm, the warmth of interlocking fingers could no longer be found.Once, the domineering I must compete with you for the seat by the window; the careless I spilled your milk.I have caused you so much trouble.I'm really not a good deskmate. I rummaged through alleys at home looking for memoirs of spring outings, and when I found them, I put them on the computer and read them over and over again.Over and over until tears wet my face.The turbulent tide of the past generally churned in my heart, leaving traces of sadness. those glorious days.Those long and delicate loves.Those familiar eyes and eyebrows. Will you, like me, always remember. The joy of scoring a goal at the last second in a basketball game once ignited our happiness like a fire. The students who asked the head teacher to organize make-up lessons signed the letter, which showed our determination to catch up. Remember our spring outing, so happy.I deeply know that it was my first spring outing in class 0501, and it was also the last time. It just rained in the morning, and the air on the mountain road was very fresh.Feifei and I have been climbing the mountain quickly, only the sound of panting in our ears, and the whistling wind on the mountain road.In fact, I couldn't climb anymore, but we didn't say anything discouraged, and we still kept moving forward with high spirits.Later, Dumbbell and Xiaopi caught up shouting slogans, one two one, one two one.The four of us refused to admit defeat and started the tug-of-war. In fact, we could no longer use our strength, but we still persisted. After passing the Nantian Gate, we stopped and had a pine tree rain together.The mountains are filled with mist, which is as beautiful as a fairyland.We put our hands to our mouths and shouted to the mountains together: "0501 is the strongest—" These few syllables rang repeatedly in my ears, rising and sinking with the floating clouds. Then, another voice belonging to 0501 came from a little higher: "It's 0501, hurry up and catch up with us!" The emotion at that moment is incomparable.Thinking about it now, my heart is still warm, as if the so-called time has never existed.The cordial feeling is brought by the four numbers "0501".Although you are in a place I cannot see, I still know that you are there and have never been far away. In the winter, I passed out in the school toilet and knocked out a big hole in my jaw.When he was helped back to the classroom by Yi Tuo, he was still groggy and didn't understand what happened.Then I saw you crowding around, looking terrified and concerned.You were going to send me to the school infirmary, but when I got to the first floor, I realized that it was raining outside, and Shu Chang even took off her school uniform to keep me out of the rain.When I arrived at the school infirmary, the doctor said that the wound was deep and I had to send it to a large hospital for stitches.I suddenly became afraid, and the pain in my jaw began to spread unscrupulously.I cried out with a "wow", at a loss.Feifei, Yiduo and Shu Chang are all around me, and you affectionately call me my nickname, "Super Saiyan".Shu Chang even went with that very funny action.Yi Tuo said, Super Saiyans are the strongest and bravest!Immediately, the tears stopped flowing.At that time, I felt that with you by my side, there was really nothing to be afraid of. After finishing the stitches and going home, the mobile phone has never been quiet all night.A steady stream of text messages came to me. Almost all the students in the class knew about my injury. The text messages filled with greetings and worries moved me to the point of tears. I think, I will always remember that I was so happy to receive text messages one by one under the desk lamp.I am even grateful for that accident, which made me understand that I have so much care and friendship in my hand. This is a very long summer vacation.Every day is so hot and boring.I used to spend a lot of time on the bus, get on one at random, sit until my head is dizzy, and then find a stop at random.Such a cycle, and finally sit back home.Walking through the streets and alleys of this city, I always think of you irresistibly.Looking at the community or the station outside the window, I would think, Weiwei's family lives nearby, and Ban Hua's family will take the bus from here.When I think of not being able to study in the same classroom with you after school starts, I feel a sense of emptiness in my heart. I still remember the last day of studying agriculture, when everyone went back to No. 1 Middle School in Liuyang City.After getting off the bus at the school gate, I kept looking for the figures of my classmates with my eyes.When we finally found the big team at 0501, Sui Sui and I happily ran over to join it.At that time, the feeling was as warm as coming home.I think, even after the division, I was still labeled. I used to be an honored member of 0501, and this will never change. As the school was approaching, Xiaoqiang, who hadn't been in touch for a long time, called and asked about Chinese homework as usual.Almost every Sunday night in the first year of high school, he would send an extremely irresponsible text message: "What homework is due tomorrow? Please be specific, thanks." I have always played the role of "good old man", I can only be one Type text messages word by word to tell him the homework of each subject. After answering his question, I said: "Actually, I won't collect the Chinese homework next semester..." Then, there was only silence.There was only the rustling of electricity in my ears. I began to regret saying that sentence, and then prevaricated with a heartless smile: "Oh, you have to do your homework quickly! You don't have a good person like me to protect you!" After hanging up the phone, he still sat in a daze.All kinds of trivial things about class 0501 have actually become habits, and only time can violently tamper with them.And I will try my best to fight against time, do my best, and remember those memories fiercely. I remember that near the end of the term, I, Yanzi, and Sui Sui sat very close together and always sang "Write a Song" together.How I long to sing to you now— The moon is in your eyes, the sun is in my heart, now I write this article, just for you, just for you. The emotion of separation and reluctance has been said many times.Say it again, I love you.Dear Class 0501.You who have been with me for a year. As long as there is love and memories, Class 0501 will always be there. It is not important to remember a person's name, the key is whether you can remember that person... --Inscription When nothing belongs to me anymore, only the empty shell of my body is my own. Looking up at the sky, the stars we call oaths are twinkling quietly, as if continuing the wish we made many years ago. Under the dim street lamp, the broken beer bottle exudes a strange color, and the blood falling on the emerald green glass looks like a blooming rose. I touch the blood and yearn for the remaining temperature after it leaves the body. Carefully put the warmth in his hands close to his face, but it spread along the tears. I quietly took out my mobile phone, took a picture of all this, and named it "Leng Yan".After choosing the familiar yet unfamiliar number, he pressed "Send" with a trembling thumb. Alcohol churned in the blood, it paralyzed the nerves, only let me know how to stagger to the distance. In the distance...is a place full of orchids once blooming. Now, there are only wild grass and wilderness left there. The roots of lily of the valley are never separated, and every pair of lily of the valley is inseparable.Qing's graceful and melodic voice is still in my ears, lingering. Lying lazily in the grass, the smell of green grass mixed with the smell of soil drove away the alcohol, spread out the blood-stained mobile phone, waiting for a reply. But I know, I can never just wait for a reply. It's like this every time I think of Qing, making myself so embarrassed, like a lost dog, knowing that she won't give me any more replies, but repeating this meaningless action over and over again, like waiting for a disconnected person The kite, knowing that it will get lost in the wind, but foolishly expecting it to come back against the wind, does not know that it has already been getting farther and farther away from itself in the wind. What mentally handicapped oaths, what unchanging promises, are not true... Why...you still make me think of her like this. Tears gushed out of the eyes, unrestrained like long thoughts. Suddenly I feel that I am useless, and I am reluctant to delete the mobile phone number that I have kept for several years. I am afraid that once it disappears from the phone book, Qing will also disappear from my life completely. text message in the past. For some reason, this ridiculous behavior seemed like a painful unrequited love. The cell phone rang for a long time on the open grass. The alcohol made my body feel weak, so I had to let it ring alone there. Because she knew that she would never call, she simply refused to answer the connection. Already feeling tired, whether it is such nostalgia or the same life... Picking up the mobile phone, staggering away, facing the opposite direction, and embarking on the way home. When I woke up, my consciousness was sluggish, and I couldn’t remember what happened yesterday. The blood on my body dried up and stuck to my body. I picked up a towel and wiped the bloody mobile phone, covered the wound with an OK bandage, and washed off the blood on my face. Tears, staring at myself in the mirror, as if yesterday's decadence no longer exists. Passing by the sea of ​​Linglan flowers, I suddenly feel that I need to write down my thoughts about her. Even if she can't see her, I will send it to her mobile phone, even if it is turned off every time, even if there is no reply. I've always had the illusion that we just broke up and that she's always been there. On a certain day of the month, it rained heavily, just like the rain when you left. I was lying on my back on the bed, sending boring text messages with my friends. When I didn’t know what else to say to my friends, I suddenly remembered that there was no wine at home. It wasn't too rainy outside, so I went into the rain without an umbrella. Before I walked out, I saw Xuan holding a flower umbrella. She is Qing's younger sister and my secretary. I understand that she couldn't find her on the phone. I didn't come here. "manager……" "Sorry, I'm not in the mood to talk about business right now." I ran frantically on the way away, leaving her behind, seeing that she was no longer chasing me, I stopped, my whole body was soaked and I didn't want to go back , looked around only to realize that he had strayed off the road and came to the sea of ​​lilies of the valley. I still remember the lily of the valley flower language that Qing once told me is to stay together forever.Ah... By the way... At that time, I laughed and called her an idiot, but she didn't retaliate but just smiled sweetly.The lily of the valley hasn't bloomed here yet, and I think it will never bloom. I thought yesterday's sadness was a thing of the past, but I didn't expect it to take root and sprout in my heart. I smiled inexplicably, sad and stiff, why am I so stupid?Knowing that she will never come back... There is only a piece of lily of the valley left in my mind. I wanted to remember so much, I warned myself not to forget like that, but I couldn't beat the washing of time. The more I want to remember, forget faster. "Why do you want Lin Yu?" Xuan still rushed over and moved the umbrella over my head, "You'll catch a cold like this." "I'm used to it..." I left under her umbrella and continued to walk far away. "Don't do this, my sister knows that she will be sad." sad?If that's the case, she won't leave easily. But...if...if one day, I am the one who gets sick instead of Qing, will she be like me now, or will she forget me?I would rather she forget me, as if she never existed, because it is too painful to love someone alone... It's raining a lot today and it could be raining for days... There is a pale blue star in the Milky Way, and you named it The Oath. On the Qixi Festival of a certain year, there are so many stars in the sky that it is unimaginable. Qing took me to the riverside in the outskirts to watch the stars. Although I couldn't hear her calling her a fool, I still sat on the grass with her and looked up at the sky. I didn't understand why she was staring at those bright spots. After a while, she suddenly grabbed me and pointed to a light blue star in the Milky Way. She said it was called the oath star. "Lan, let's make a wish, shall we?" "don't want." "Oh." Please keep your head down and don't speak. "Angry?" "No." She tilted her head and smiled innocently. I finally gave in, and I couldn't refuse her beautiful smile no matter what. "Okay, okay! I lost! I agree, I agree, can't I?" "Yeah." She still smiled like a spring flower. "I promise first! I said...um...to be happy forever..." When Qing said this, she looked at me. "Idiot! Why do you make such a wish!" That night, she made a vow to be happy, but I didn't say anything, until now I don't know what to promise, maybe I should make the same wish with her, because from the day we broke up, I recognized the truth, From the moment I recognized the truth, the ordinary happiness no longer exists. I am very envious of Qing, who will always live in a dream, always smile, always turn on the phone and look at my phone number. She may have gotten Happy, or people in dreams are happy, because reality is crueler and more fragile than dreams, making people unbearable or even collapsed. The following year, on Qixi Festival, Qing left. There were no stars that day, and there was a heavy rain, which knocked off the blooming lilies of the valley one by one. After the rain stopped, all the white flowers on the grass were the corpses of lilies of the valley. On Qixi Festival this year, Xuan and I went to the cemetery to see her. There are lilies of the valley around her tomb. I put a bouquet of roses on the tomb. It looks awkward in the snow-white, a dazzling existence that does not blend in with the surroundings. "Why do you send roses?" Xuan squatted down and respectfully wiped off the dust on the tombstone. "No reason..." I didn't want to stay any longer, so I turned around and got in the car. In fact, I am waiting for that bouquet of roses to wither and become an eternal pain in my heart... February 14th, Valentine's Day. I don't know how many Valentine's Days have passed since she left. Although I always receive chocolates from Xuan, they are always thrown away as garbage in the end because they have been left for too long. Walking aimlessly on the street, there are chocolates everywhere, and Qing likes the taste of chocolate just like ordinary girls. Footsteps, stop after seeing a familiar storefront, it is the chocolate shop that Qing Chang came to. The light bell rang, a gentle "welcome", and colorful chocolate boxes were placed on the shelves. "Hello, are you going to buy chocolates as gifts?" "Ah? Well...well..." "Then which one do you like?" I casually pointed to a brown chocolate with white lace, and the waiter picked it up and walked into the workshop, asking me what I wanted to write on the chocolate. I thought about it and turned over the phone to show him the phone number. He frowned but wrote it on it anyway. "Thank you for your patronage..." There are chocolates in the purple gift box in my hand who I don’t know who to give them to. Looking at the street, it seems that there are many more couples on the street. Maybe there are so many, but I just noticed it. "Xuan, are you home?" Black Valentine's Day, I didn't know where to go, so I had to call Xuan. "exist." "I want to go to your house." "Okay, I'll wait for you..." She waited for me to hang up the phone before she hung up, just like Qing's habit. When I arrived at her door, she was staring at the box in my hand suspiciously. "For you." I entered the room sideways, curled up on the sofa and watched TV.Xuan carefully opened the box. When she saw the number on the chocolate, tears filled her bright eyes. "My sister is so happy." She put the lid back and packed the box as it was. "Why do you say that?" "She has been away for so long, but you still remember her." I didn't tell her that I had long forgotten what Qing looked like... "Let's... get married..." "You..." She looked at me strangely, then shook her head with a smile, "But..." "Don't worry, I never regarded you as her substitute." Xuan didn't answer, just smiled slightly like Qing. This year, I still celebrated Valentine’s Day without a lover. Xuan called and said that she buried the box of chocolates in the lily of the valley field. What is written on the chocolate is Qing's cell phone number... By the sea, I quietly walked towards the center of the sea, just to experience the happiness you talked about "Qing, what are you doing at the beach?" "Look at the sea." She took off her sandals and ran towards the waves, like a flower floating in the wind. When the weather was hot, even the sea breeze was hot. I sat down on the beach with beads of sweat all over my body. "Lan, do you think the color of the sea is beautiful?" "Anyway, I don't like it." I saw Qing staring into the distance in bewilderment, with no trace of blood on her fair face. "Then what color do you like?" "black……" "It's so monotonous..." She got up and walked towards the sea. "If only the sea could turn purple..." She continued to walk forward, and I didn't understand what she was going to do, so I could only sit on the beach and watch her, the waves gently hitting her skirt, and Qing's long hair fluttered unscrupulously. She has been walking calmly, I don't know how deep the sea is.The sea water overflowed Qing's shoulders, she raised her head and stared into the distance, I was like waking up from a dream, but I saw her turn her head and smile faintly. "Lan, look..." "Qing! Come back quickly!" I ran over quickly, afraid that she would disappear from my sight "The sea has turned purple..." She swayed in the water, her eyes blurred at that moment. That time, I almost lost her, but Qing told me that she just wanted to see the purple sea. I asked her, did you see it? She said no. I know what she is looking for is not a purple sea but happiness. I have been unable to give her happiness, but she said that being with me is the happiest. But I have long forgotten... what happiness is... If love has a will... All the long-term things happened yesterday. I haven’t woken up until now. I don’t want to wake up. I’m always afraid that once I wake up, I will abandon the past. I always think that my present will never come, like being sealed in I will sleep with that phone number forever and will not unlock it. The orchids of the valley bloomed in clusters amidst the restlessness and turmoil in May. I stood in it, imagining that Qing would come back, and I didn't want to forget that she was my only one. "The flowers... are beautiful..." Xuan stood beside her, stroking the flowers in her hand. "You said... Qing wants me to forget her..." "Yes, my sister would like you to forget her and wish you happiness." I clearly know Qing's possessiveness, and she will not want me to forget her easily if she is so greedy to get happiness from me. "You lied to me……" Xuan smiled unabashedly, very similar to Qing. "You, you're not a child anymore, it's better not to ask me about this kind of thing." "She said she would remember me...do you remember?" She stopped smiling and turned her head, "I... forgot..." "Really?" "Well... I forgot..." She left me anxiously and ran away. She still doesn't know...she is Qing...the one who died of illness was not Qing but Xuan... Qing regards Xuan as her own body, on the day Xuan died, she seemed to be a different person, every word and deed was exactly the same as Xuan... I know she loves Xuan too much, she can't stand her sister leaving, just like this , one person plays two roles. “岚，快过来。”她蹲在花丛里，指着地面，“我把你给清的巧克力埋在这儿了……” "idiot……" 她又那样笑了，美丽，妖异，只绽放给我的笑。 我深吸一口气，伸了伸懒腰，今天阳光很好…… “清，我们结婚吧……” 她愣了，蹲在那里半天不说话。 “默认啦？” 她一下子扑进怀里，放声大哭，像是个受了天大委屈的孩子，不停地拍打着我的胸。 “明年……我们去看萱……好吗……” 清没有说话，默默地点了点头。