Chapter 24 my childhood

I was seven months old, that is, in May 1901, I left my hometown of Fuzhou and went to Shanghai. At that time, my father was the deputy captain of the "Haiqi" ​​cruiser, and the captain was Mr. Sa Zhenbing.There are four "Hai" cruisers, namely "Haiqi", "Haichou", "Haichen", and "Hairong". I have been on these warships with my father.I heard that there is another ship called "Haitian", which sank after hitting a rock due to the captain's pilot error. Shanghai is a big port, no matter where the cruiser sails, it must stop here for a few days, so our family moved to Shanghai and lived in Changshouli in Shanghai.I don’t know which district of Shanghai Changshouli is in, but the stories my mother told about my childhood, such as the ones I wrote in the newsletter “Send to Young Readers” (10), are based on Changsu-ri is the background.My memories of Shanghai are based on only two photographs, one taken by my father himself: the young mother, dressed in wide-brimmed underwear, sitting on the edge of a bed with a bed frame and lintels, her feet still There was a foot stove, and I was standing beside her, with a green velvet hat on my head and a dark cotton robe on my body.My father likes to play with some new things, such as taking pictures. I remember his camera, which is as big as the medicine box on the back of a hygienist!He also has many utensils for developing photos. I still have a glass funnel, which is one of the utensils for developing photos.The other photo was taken in a photo studio. My grandfather and my old aunt were sitting on both sides of the tea table. There were flower pots, tureen teacups and hookahs on the coffee table. My grandfather was wearing summer clothes and holding a fan; The aunt is wearing a blouse with a wide hem, and a green gauze skirt underneath.I myself sat on a small chair in front of the coffee table among them. I had two skirts combed on my hair, and I was wearing light-colored underwear. I put my hands on my knees, and I wore silver bracelets on my wrists and ankles. It looks like two or three years old, at least it will go.

My father died at the age of four, and my grandfather never remarried. This old concubine probably married after my grandfather got old.When I returned to Fuzhou in 1911, I didn’t hear her family talk about her. It can be seen that her time in our house was very short. I remember that when we lived in Yantai, Shandong, my grandfather mentioned in a letter The old aunt died of illness.When we picked up this photo and talked about her later, my mother praised her for her work. She said that Shanghai was very hot in summer, but the old aunt would never let me go shirtless, saying that the blue piece on my back "It was painted by my previous parents, so that they would come to please people when they saw it.She also knew that my mother didn't like red, green and green, so she made me white dresses or vests, along with the edge of black roasted silk, which looked cool and eye-catching. It's nothing, it's just too plain.It's true that my mother didn't like bright colors, and because I grew up wearing men's clothes, I never wore red strings.Now, neither of these two photos can be found.

During those two or three years in Shanghai, my father could come back every few months.My mother talked about how my father sometimes took her for a ride on Huangpu Beach in a carriage on summer nights, which she thought was beyond her imagination when she was in Fuzhou.But when my father came home, he seldom went out to visit relatives and friends during the day, because the captain, Mr. Sa Zhenbing, might send sailors to call him at any time.Mr. Sa Zhenbing is his father's most admired superior in the navy, and he always calls him "Sa Tong" affectionately. ("Tong" means "commander", and I think it is similar to the current "President Zhu", "Peng President" and "He President".) I also have a deep impression on Sa Tong.I remember one time, I pulled a sailor who came to call my father, and refused to let him go. He laughed and said, "No, if you don't go, you will be spanked!" I asked, "Who calls beating? What do you use?" He said : "When the officer asks to hit, he hits with a rope. When he hits, it means 'one dozen', and 'one dozen' means twelve blows. "I say:

"Does the rope hurt?" He gestured with his fingers and said, "Drink! Try it, the rope used on our boat is thick and soaked in water, and it hurts more than a stick!" I asked anxiously: "I If father doesn't go back, Satoung will beat him, right?" He shook his head and said with a smile: "No, officials only record one demerit at most. Satoshi seldom beats people, and your father didn't beat anyone. He only beats 'half a dozen' when he fights, and it's called using dry ropes." I asked. : "Then it doesn't hurt, right?" He said, "That's much better..." At this time, my father had changed into his military uniform and came out, so he followed behind with a smile.

About this time, the mother gave birth to a younger sister, who died within a few days.In the first few days, I moved a stool and climbed onto the bed to kiss her little face, but she was no longer on the bed.I asked my sister where she went, and my grandfather said that my sister went shopping on the main road, but she never came back! From 1903 to 1904, my father was ordered to go to Yantai, Shandong to establish the Naval Academy.We moved to Yantai, and my grandfather and old aunt went back to Fuzhou. When we arrived in Yantai, we first lived in the Naval Procurement Office in the city. Mr. Ye Maofan, the director, gave us a north room to live in.The south room is a living room with three rooms in a row, which became the place where my father received guests and worked.I remember that there is a long couplet in this living room:

There are lofty mountains, luxuriant forests, and bamboos here, so I can read three tombs, five canons, eight suos, and nine hills. I mentioned this couplet because this is the text I started to learn to read!At that time, my father was busy drawing up plans to build a naval academy, but I was always by his side, talking about this and that, so he stopped writing and pointed to the couplet on the wall and said: "You also learn to read, okay?" Okay? Don’t you see the words Shan, Bamboo, Three, Five, Eight, and Nine on the pair are easy to recognize?” So I also picked up a pen and sat beside my father while learning. I learned to write while I recognized it. In this way, I could read and write the twenty-two characters on the couplet, although until now I still don't know which ancient books these "three tombs, five canons, eight questions and nine hills" are.

Soon, we moved to a naval hospital on the north slope of Dongshan Mountain in Yantai for sojourn.At this time, my uncle, Mr. Yang Zijing, who came to help my father with the paperwork, also moved his family from Fuzhou, and our two families lived in the three main rooms of this hospital. This hospital was built facing south and north on a steep slope. The main room is rather cold, but you can see the sea when you look east from the corridor!From that day on, the sea occupied an extremely important place in my thoughts and feelings.I often think about it in my heart, talk about it in my mouth, and write it in my pen; especially in the past ten years or so three years ago, when I was troubled by it and had nothing to say, when I thought of the sea, my heart was full of joy. It opened up and became quieter!When I was recuperating in the United States in 1924, I wrote a letter to China and asked someone to write a couplet of "Ji Gong", which was:

Haiyue in the chest, dreaming, thank God, because this very short couplet was rolled up and pressed at the bottom of a large bookcase, "Gang of Four" Rampage, when my house was raided, it was not stolen together with my other treasured calligraphy and paintings! Now come back to this naval hospital.Its east wing is a ward, and the west wing is a consulting room. There is an old doctor surnamed Li who doesn't have many patients.There is also a gun repair master living in the concierge, probably a veteran!I often go to squat next to his charcoal stove and chat with him.There is a large yard behind the west wing, with many flower and fruit trees, flowers all over the ground, and several boxes of bees, which are very lively when the flowers bloom.Because I often went to pick flowers, I was stung by bees several times. Every time, the old doctor gave me medicine. He also warned me: Flowers are the food of bees, and good boys don’t steal people’s food.

At this time, reading and reading has become my daily lesson. Both my mother and uncle are my teachers. My mother taught me to read "characters", and the textbook my uncle taught me is the first volume of Chinese textbooks issued by the Commercial Press. "Heaven, Earth, Sun and Moon" started learning.With the sea and mountains as my venues, I lost interest in reading and writing. In the preface to "The Complete Works of Bing Xin" I wrote in 1932, there was this passage, which was set in the background of the Naval Hospital. : Want to go out.My father was outside, beating the table in the main room with a horsewhip to scare me, but the horsewhip never hit my head, nor did it frighten me back from my tendency to run... Soon, we again Over the hillside, I moved to a newly built house next to the naval training camp on the east side of Dongdong Mountain.The house was built on a piece of flat land dug out of the hillside. It was a courtyard house, where the staff who were preparing for the Naval Academy lived.A group of newly recruited naval students have already lived in this training camp, but there is also a battalion (?) of Lian Yong (probably his father was also the battalion commander of the training camp at that time).

I often went to the gate of Yingkou to talk to Lian Yong who was on guard.They don't wear white uniforms like sailors on warships.Their military uniforms are blue cloth baotou, and they also wear blue trousers, with the words "Navy Practicing Courage" embroidered with white thread on their chests.When I followed my father to the gate of the camp, after they raised their guns and stood at attention, my father waved me back when he entered.I waited for my father to go far away, but I pulled that Lian Yong to squat down, touched his gun, and asked, "Have you fought in naval battles, too?" He shook his head and said, "No." I said, "My father is He fought, but he lost!" He stood up, shouldered the gun, patted the butt of the gun with his hand, and said, "I know, I was not a soldier when your father fought. You wait, One day your father will take us to fight, we must win the battle, do you believe it or not?" These words with a strong Shandong accent echoed in my ears all the time!

Looking back, when I lived next to the naval training camp, it was the closest period to the sea during my eight years in Yantai.On the hillside to the north of the house, there is a flag stand, which is the place where the semaphore is communicated with the warships at sea.On the west side of the flag tower, there is a hillside road leading to the fort by the sea. There are three cannons on the fort, and there are several torpedoes in the basement under the fort.There is also a military band in white uniform stationed here. I often go to listen to their exercises with my father. I respect and envy the band conductor very much!There is a small pier to the west of the fort.Father's captain friends came to pick him up and see off his small motorboat, which was moored by this pier. After writing this, I feel that I have gradually entered the role!The barracks, flag towers, forts, docks, and the surrounding mountains by the sea were the stage of my early childhood activities. On the night of September 18, 1962, I wrote an essay called "Love in the Sea", which contained: In the morning, I saw the morning sun like a golden basin suddenly rushing up from the dark black, light gray, and white clouds. The silver-plate-like moon tremblingly lifts out the horizon, and the sea surface turns into layer upon layer from thick black and silvery gray to bright and shimmering patches... This stage is extremely quiet and boundless, and I am an actor, Playwright again.Although I am single and alone, I feel infinite joy and freedom. During this period, in 1906, my eldest brother Xie Weihan was born.He was much younger than me, and my cousins ​​and cousins ​​in the family school were much older than me; they couldn't get along with me, which made me a loner in the mountains and waters.At this time, I spent a lot of time with my father.During the day, I started to study at home, read a little, and learned to write some short sentences. After school, my father also came back from the camp. He taught me how to shoot a gun, ride a horse, and row a boat. At night, he taught me to look at the stars.During the holidays, he also took me to Yantai City, to attend the gathering of the navy soldiers in Tianhou Palace, or to see pear blossoms at Yuhuangding, to eat grapes in the vineyards of Changyu Wine Company, and more often, to Take me to see friends on the warship that is in port. In 1908, my second brother Xie Weijie passed away, and we moved to a new house behind the Naval Academy. The house has two courtyards, east and west, and we share five rooms in a row in the west courtyard with my uncle's family.On the side where we lived, my father added a building to the house facing the sea at the east end. When we went upstairs, we could see the sea.I have such a description in "Sea Love", which is everything I saw upstairs: On the surrounding hills, there are layers of wheat fields on the soil slopes, and in front of it is an endless flat and light yellow sandy beach.Between the beach and me, there is a cluster of uneven farmhouses up and down the hills, cuddling affectionately into a small village.In front of the vast sandy beach is the sea!The sea stretches from north to south, covering the eastern horizon. There are a few islands drawn in light ink on the horizon. That is Zhifu Island. There is a lighthouse on the island... During this period, I spent more time in school and read books. , the main reason is that it is far away from the sea, and my father is also busy. I only go to the beach once in a few days. I remember that there is a small Dragon King Temple on the beach. The couplet on the temple gate is: Since Sihai Anlan seldom goes to the beach, the building overlooking the sea has become a place I often go to.This room is considered a guest room, but guests rarely come to live in it, and my father and mother go there when they want to be quiet.I like leaning on the railing to stare at the glare of the lighthouse on a stormy night, it will always give me an infinite sense of warmth and comfort! At this time, a female classmate came to our family school, who was also my first female companion. She was Li Meixiu, the daughter of my father’s colleague Mr. Li Yucheng. She was only two years older than me, and my mother said she was quieter than me. much.Her desk is next to mine, and we are very friendly.At this time, I began to learn to "play house". We took turns "cooking" in our "home", inviting each other, and eating small sugar cookies and the like. In 1911, when we were in Fuzhou, my father received a letter from Uncle Li from Shanghai, saying that Li Meixiu had passed away, and we were all very sad. I also wrote an article "Memorial to the Dead Friend Li Meixiu" and sent it to Shanghai. . The place where Li Meixiu and I talked or played games was on the porch of the building, so as to avoid interference from my cousins ​​and other cousins, and to enjoy the sea view and garden view.Looking forward from the corridor is the sea, and looking down is the colorful courtyard of the living room and study in the east courtyard.My father likes to plant trees and flowers in his spare time. There are many fruit trees and various flowers in this yard.The flower beds are various geometric patterns drawn by my father himself, and the flower path is paved with large pebbles picked from the beach. When we get up early in the morning, we often move around here.I remember my little uncle, Mr. Yang Ziyu, who was the son of my maternal uncle, Mr. Yang Songyan, who was studying at Tangshan Road and Mining School at that time, and came to us for vacation in summer.After he returned to school from Yantai, he once sent a long poem. I forgot the first few lines, but the last few lines are:... Reminiscing about the past summer when I came to Zhifu to shine on a small building full of flowers. Qiong Yan, persuasion, remuneration, and entertainment are short, don’t come, and the autumn flowers are withering. I don’t see them. I don’t see them, I’m sorry. How many lives? Uncle Xiu is the most welcome person in our generation. He can tell stories, and he can tell them vividly. .He sometimes told stories about hanged ghosts to frighten us, but he told more stories with strong national consciousness, such as Hong Chengchou's treason, Lin Zexu's burning of opium, etc. He told them generously, and we were often excited after hearing them. Can't sleep!He also asked my father and his colleagues to organize a poetry competition, that is, during the meeting, everyone agreed on the topic, restricted the rhyme, and wrote poems separately. Fans, paper and the like.The poetry competition was always held in our study at night, and we all sat and listened.Now I only remember the song "Song of Crickets" written by my father, which is not complete: Xiaoyang laughed while singing under the bed. ……… For a long time, there is no need to worry about the disintegration of the rain, and the grass roots still have the fragrance. I remembered these sentences because my little uncle joked with my father, saying that he could not get rid of his true qualities as a soldier even when he wrote poems.My father also laughed and said, "Poetry expresses ambition. I can write whatever comes to mind. Of course, my words are not as elegant as yours." But I realized that my little uncle really liked my father's "soldier's true qualities". My uncles, my father and my father's colleagues often talked late at night after the poetry competition.We all went to bed then, and didn't know what they were talking about. Every time my little uncle came to the summer vacation, he would bring some books. Some books were not allowed to be read by us. It is a brochure for "Tongmenghui" like "Tianshuo". After we secretly looked at it, we secretly sent it back to the original place. In 1910 my third brother Xie Weiji was born.Not long after this, there was a storm at the Naval Academy! About a year ago, the Minister of the Navy at that time, Zaixun, visited the Yantai Naval Academy once, and when he returned to Beijing, he sent twenty Manchu students from the Beijing Noble Academy to study at the Naval Academy.In the 1911 spring sports meeting, in order to compete for a championship, the contradictions between the Manchu and Han students that had been accumulated for a year or two came to the surface!This incident was so violent that Beijing sent an investigator, Zheng Rucheng, to investigate the case.He is also a classmate of his father.He told his father behind his back that in the past few years, some people have been accusing my father of being a "rebellious party" in Beijing, and that there are many members of the alliance among the students in the sea school - among them is the nephew (?) Sappho of Mr. Sapphire Bing. Chang...and the school library subscribes to "Min Hu Bao" He advised my father to resign immediately, so as not to be subject to "removal and investigation".My father agreed, and several of his colleagues joined him in submitting their resignations.In the autumn of this year, my father reluctantly bid farewell to the Naval Academy he founded and the friends, colleagues and students who came to see him off. I also bid farewell to the sea where my ears and temples were rubbed together, left Yantai, and returned to my hometown Fuzhou up! Here, I should write an episode that still makes my heart surge when I recall it.The exciting Revolution of 1911 took place on October 10 of this year!On the way back to Fuzhou, we lived in Shanghai Hongkou for more than a month.Every day we are scrambling and waiting to read the newspaper.The newspaper signed the uprising telegram (it is said to be written by Mr. Rao Hanxiang) from Wuchang, Hubei, signed by General Li Yuanhong (he was also a classmate of his father, but his father learned to drive and he learned to manage the wheel), and it was written impassionedly. At the end of the chapter, they all end with "Li Yuanhong weeps and knocks blood".At this time, everyone was donating to the labor force. I remember that I also sent the ten lucky money I had saved to the declaration office to donate.I have kept this little receipt for many years, and now, of course, it has disappeared with the watery years! Published in January, early morning, July 4, 1979. )