Chapter 21 sea ​​love

Many friends heard that I went to Dalian for summer break, Zhanjiang for winter, and Japan and the United Arab Emirates for a meeting. They all wrote to say: "You are now next to the sea you love, and seeing the playmates you loved when you were a child. How much did you write..." Some of my friends' expectations were realized, but most of them were not.I seem to feel that whether it is the Sea of ​​Japan, the Mediterranean...even Dalian Bay, Guangzhou Bay, they are not like the "sea" in my childhood, just like the best friend in my life is not necessarily my childhood playmate. .My childhood playmates were inferior in many respects to the friends I made when I grew up, but I was strangely familiar and intimate with my childhood playmates.Their names, voices, smiles, even a lock of short hair on the sideburns and a red mole on the side of their eyebrows, decades later, are still vivid in my memory!As I became more and more forgetful, I often felt secretly ashamed because I could not remember the names of familiar people after a long time of greeting.Therefore, I am always amazed at the mirror-clear and clear pictures of my childhood, and at the same time I feel a mixture of deep joy and melancholy -- this emotion, like a tender needle Thorn, pierced my delicate and tender heart!

Speaking of the sea——since I left the seaside of my childhood, I don’t know how many majestic and beautiful seasides I have been close to and how many bright and bright seascapes I have seen in the past few decades.If there is a memory palace in my mind, then on the walls of this palace, there are countless pictures of seascapes with different moods and charms, large and small.However, the most simple, grandest, and most thrilling thing is the big painting on the north wall of the main hall!In this large painting, on the right is a continuous screen-like Nanshan Mountain, on the left is surrounded by hills, on the slopes are layers of wheat fields, and in front is an endless flat, light yellow sandy beach.Between the beach and me, there is a cluster of uneven farmhouses up and down the hills, cuddling affectionately into a small village.In front of the vast sandy beach is the sea!The sea stretches from north to south, covering the eastern horizon. There are a few islands drawn in light ink on the horizon, which are Zhifu Island. There is a lighthouse on the island.The composition of the painting is nothing more than that.

But this picture of the sea was drawn by me day and night with a copper hook and iron stroke by stroke with my clear and sharp memory when my mind was still a pure white paper. So deep that it never fades away. My sea is in the north of the motherland, and there are no beautiful mountains and forests, high hanging springs and waterfalls nearby.Winter comes and autumn goes, the earth is dry and yellow, and the sea is also gray-blue, which looks very bleak.Spring is here, and the green grass puts new clothes on the tall Nanshan Mountain. On the top of the distant cottages, one or two peach trees are occasionally exposed.The sea water reflects the light of spring, slowly rippling with emerald green waves... This is the stage of my childhood activities, a setting that never changes.I am a "one-legged" on this big stage, sometimes wandering monologue, sometimes embracing my knees in meditation.

I stared at everything with my eyes open in wonder and inquiry.In the early morning, I saw the rising sun like a golden basin suddenly surge up from the dark black, light gray, and fish-maw white clouds; at this time, the space roared, and thick gold splashed over the sea and dyed the sky. Gradually, the voice calmed down, and a faint white smoke billowed from the sky. I saw the masthead and the hull. It was a seafarer from somewhere, who came to visit our small city under the Beishan Mountain.At dusk, I saw the silver-plate-like moon rising tremblingly out of the horizon, and the sea surface became layer upon layer, from thick ink to silver gray, and gradually rippling into shimmering patches of light.The pale black fishing sails, one wing after another, moved slowly, and the stern of the boat was lit with orange lights.I know that in this faint white smoke, in the orange light, there are many people-from the mouths of adults, from books, portraits, people I know well, they are busy working, laughing loudly talking.I couldn't see them, but in my fantasy I worked for them and spoke for them: they clattered and scrubbed the decks with coconut shells, cast heavy fishing nets clattering; Sewed over the palms, a piece of thick canvas was sewed vigorously, and they sucked their thick fingers in their mouths, then raised them to their heads to gauge the direction of the sea breeze.Their conversation was tense and lively, they were talking about the opera in front of the Tianhou Palace, the pear blossom on the top of the Jade Emperor, they were talking about the storm a few days ago... At this moment, my heart was beating wildly, and my mouth was imitating Calling bravely, sweating from clenched hands, I stood up from the beach nervously... The scenery in my memory: morning wind, moon evening, snow field, starry sky, like a kaleidoscope, changing rapidly; The activities of my fantasies corresponding to these scenes are also like different dramas, which are constantly being staged day and night.But every play is performed on the same stage, with mountains and seas as the background.This stage is extremely quiet and boundless. I am both an actor and a playwright.Although I am single and alone, I feel infinite joy and freedom.

These past events, if you go on, can never be finished, and this is not what I want to talk about.I mean, everyone has his own childhood memories, whether happy or bitter, they are the deepest memories for him.I happen to have been close to and in love with the sea since I was a child, but other people have been close to and in love with other scenery.In fact, to be specific, whether we love the sea or other things, we all love our own land and our own people!Let’s just talk about loving the sea. What we love is definitely not any piece of boundless sea.Every seaside has its own sandy beaches, its own rocks, its own trees, and its own villages, forming its own unique and lovable "character".Her sands and rocks define the limits of the geography, her trees and villages mark the labor of the people.In her character, there are history, culture, habits and customs that are closely connected with our flesh and blood.She belongs to us, we belong to her, she gave birth to us and cultivated us; we are attached to her, defend her, we wish her happiness and prosperity, and we will never endure other people's bullying and aggression against her.It is this kind of strong and sincere feeling that has inspired us to write many beautiful and majestic poems and make many unprecedented great undertakings. Are these examples, ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, still needing to be listed?

Also, I love the "sea" in my childhood, do I not love Dalian Bay and Guangzhou Bay anymore?By no means.When I grow up, the sea also expands, and they are still our own sea!As for the Sea of ​​Japan and the Mediterranean Sea—when I saw children from the Inland Bank of Japan who participated in the campaign against U.S. military bases, and children from Port Said in the United Arab Emirates who participated in the war against British and French aggression, I took their warm little hands and looked at them. The blue sea behind them, the childhood sea love, rushed to my heart like a raging tide.How lovely are the children of Japan and the United Arab Emirates, how lovely are the Sea of ​​Japan and the Mediterranean Sea!

September 18, 1962, Beijing. (This article was originally published in the October 1962 issue of "People's Literature".)