Chapter 40 "Subha"

(India) by Tagore When the girl was named Subhasini, who would have thought that she was dumb?Her two elder sisters were named Sukshini and Suhasini, and her father named the youngest daughter Subhasini in order to make the names similar.For convenience, everyone called her Subha. As usual, her two elder sisters lost money and finally got married. Now the youngest daughter is like a heavy burden on her parents' hearts.Everyone seemed to think that she could neither speak nor feel; they talked freely in her presence about her future and their own misery.Since she was a child, she knew that God sent her to her father's house like a disaster, so she always stayed away from the crowd and tried to stay aside.As long as they could forget her, she felt she could bear anything.But who can forget pain?Her parents' hearts ached day and night for her.Especially her mother, who almost regarded her as her body ①②③ meaning "smile". ——The translator means "beautiful servant girl".

Means "witty words". disability.For a mother, a daughter is an intimate part of herself more than a son; her faults are a source of her own shame.Subha's father, Panikonta, loved her more than any other daughter; her mother hated her as much as a blemish on herself. Although Subha lacked the ability to speak, she did not lack a pair of big black eyes with long eyelashes.What was in her mind, her lips quivered like a leaf to reflect. When we express our thoughts in words, the words are not easy to find, we have to go through a translation process, which is often inaccurate, and then we make mistakes.But these black eyes need no translation; the thought itself is reflected in the eyes.In the eye, thought opens or closes, shines or sinks into darkness, hangs still like the setting moon, or illuminates the vast sky like lightning flashes.Those who have been born without language save the trembling of their lips, have learned the language of the eyes, endless in expression, deep as the sea, clear as the sky, dawn and dusk, light and shadow, in Play freely here.The mute has the solitary majesty of "Nature."So the other children were almost afraid of Subha and never played with her.She was as silent and lonely as midnight.

The village where she lives is called Changdipu.The river in this village is considered small in Bangladesh, and it flows only in a narrow area, like a middle-class daughter.This busy stream of water never floods, it just flows peacefully, as if it is a member of every family in the village along its banks.On both sides of the river are people and tree-lined banks.The river-goddess descended from her throne and became the flower-goddess of every garden; with quick, cheerful steps, she performed her endless work of blessing with selfless devotion. Banikonda's house was near the river.Passing boatmen can see the huts and haystacks in this place.I don't know if, among these things that represent the wealth of the world, anyone has noticed the little girl, when she finished her work, sneaked to the water's edge and sat there.Here, "Nature" fulfills her desire to speak and speaks for her.The whispers of the brook, the voices of the villagers, the singing of the boatmen, the chirping of birds, and the sound of leaves all blended with her heartbeat.They were waves of sound that beat upon her restless mind. The whispers and movements of Nature were the language of the dumb woman; the words of the dark eyes shaded by their long lashes were the language of the world around her.From the tree where the cicadas sing to the silent stars, there are only gestures, gestures, tears and sighs.At noon in the heat, when the boatmen and fishermen are off to eat, the villagers are taking their siestas, the birds are silent, the ferries are idle, and the vast busy world rests from its labors and suddenly becomes a lonely, serious giant, when Beneath the alluring expanse of the sky, there is only the wordless Nature and a wordless girl, sitting in the utmost silence—one in the radiant sun, the other in the shade of a sapling .

But Subha was not without a friend.In the cowshed there are two cows, Sabasi and Bangouri.They never heard her call their names, but they could hear her footsteps.Though she could not speak, she murmured lovingly, and they understood her soft murmur better than all words.When she caressed them, scolded them, or coaxed them, they knew her better than people knew her.Subha would often come to the cowshed and hug Sabah's neck; she would often rub her cheek against her friend, and Bangulli would turn its big kind eyes to look at her and lick her face.The girl routinely visited them three times a day, with occasional visits in addition.Whenever she heard something that made her sad, she would come to see her mute friend anytime.They seem to be able to feel her mental pain from her gloomy eyes.They approached and rubbed her arms gently with their horns, trying to comfort her with wordless resignation.Besides the two cows, there were several goats and a kitten; although they also showed the same attachment, Subha's friendship with them was different.No matter it is day or night, whenever there is an opportunity, the kitten will jump into her arms and doze peacefully. When Subha strokes its neck and back with her soft fingers, it hypnotizes her. I appreciate it very much.

Among the higher animals, Subha also had a companion, but it was difficult to describe the girl's relationship to him, because he could speak, and his gift of speech did not give them a common language.He was the youngest son of Gonsay, named Prada, and a slob.His parents thought that he would never have any hope of living independently.But prodigal sons also have an advantage: Although their families despise them, they are always popular with others.Freed from work, they become public property.Just as every town needs an open space where everyone can breathe freely, a village also needs two or three leisure people who can spend time with others.Therefore, if we are too lazy to work and want a companion, such a person can be found.

Prada loves fishing the most.He passed a lot of time in it and was seen fishing almost every afternoon.So he often met Subha.No matter what he does, he likes to have company.And when it comes to fishing, there is nothing better than a silent companion.Prada respects Subha for her silence, and since everyone calls her Subha, he calls her Subha to show his affection for her.Subha always sat under an acacia tree, and Prada sat a little further away, casting his line.Prada brought some soy sauce, and Subha made it for him.I think she's been sitting there watching, desperate to do Prada a big favor, to actually be of some use to him, to do whatever it takes to prove that she's not a useless person in the world.But there is really nothing to do here.Instead, she begged the "creator" to give her a kind of extraordinary power, and with an astonishing miracle, Prada exclaimed:

"Ouch! I really didn't expect our Su to have such great abilities!" think about it!If Subha had been a water god, she might have floated slowly out of the river to carry the jewel atop the snake king's head to the ferry.At that time, Prada might give up this fruitless fishing life, jump to the Crystal Palace, and see that on the golden bed of the Silver Palace is none other than the little mute Subha, the child of Panikonta!Yes, our Su, the only daughter of the king of this glittering treasure city.But maybe not, it's impossible.Not that anything was really impossible, but Subha was born not in the court of Pataphu but in the house of Panikonta, and she had no means of astonishing the Goonsai children.

Gradually she grew up and gradually began to know herself.A new indescribable consciousness, like the tide in the heart of the sea, rolled through her heart when the moon was full.She saw herself and questioned herself, but none of the answers she got was beyond her comprehension. Once, late at night with a full moon, she slowly opened the door and peered out timidly."Nature" in the full moon season, like the lonely Suba, is looking down on the sleeping earth.Her strong, youthful life throbbed in her; joy and sorrow filled her; she reached the edge of her own infinite loneliness, and even passed it.

Her heart was heavy, and she could not speak!Beside this silent and sad "mother" stands a silent and sad ① which means "the world of the underworld". ——The translator's injured daughter. Her marital problems made her parents very worried and anxious.People blamed them and even talked about throwing them out.Banikonda was rich; they ate two meals a day of kali fish; therefore he had many enemies.Then the women also intervened, and Panikonta went out for a few days.Soon he came back, and said: "We must go to Calcutta." They are going to that strange place.Subha's heart was as heavy as a foggy morning, and she began to cry.

The nameless horrors that had accumulated during these days made her follow her parents like a silent animal.Her eyes were wide open, and she searched their faces, as if trying to detect something.But they didn't say a word.One afternoon, when Prada was fishing, he laughed: "Su, they finally found a groom for you, and you are going to get married! Don't forget about me!" Then he concentrated on fishing again. up.Like a wounded doe looking at the hunter, Subha looked at Prada in wordless agony, as if to say, "Have I offended you?" She no longer sat under her tree that day up.Panikonta was smoking in his bedroom after a nap when Subha sat down at his feet, stared at him, and burst into tears.Banikonta tried his best to comfort her, his face was also stained with tears.

They decided to go to Calcutta tomorrow.Subha went to the cowshed to say goodbye to her childhood companion.She feeds them with her hands; she hugs their necks; she looks into their faces, and the tears that roll down speak for her.This night is the night of the tenth.Subha came out of her house and flung herself on the grass by her dear river, as if she were about to throw her arms around the earth—her strong, silent mother, she wanted to say: "Don't let me leave you, mother. Hug me as I hug you, hug me tight." One day, at her home in Calcutta, Subha's mother dressed her up admirably.She tied up her hair, tied it with gauze ribbons, and adorned her, trying to spoil her natural beauty.Subha's eyes filled with tears.Her mother was afraid that her eyes would become swollen from crying, so she scolded her severely, but her tears continued to flow down.The groom brings a friend on a blind date.When the god-man came to choose the sacrifices, her parents fainted with fear. Her mother lectured her loudly in the room before showing her to a blind date, making her cry twice as much.After the adult looked at her carefully for a while, he commented: "It's not bad." He especially notices her tears, thinking she must have a tender heart.He counted this as her strength, that is to say, this heart is now sad for leaving her parents, and it must be a useful thing in the future.Like clam beads, the child's tears only added to her value, and he had no other opinion. They checked the almanac and the wedding was held on an auspicious day.After handing over their dumb daughter to someone else, Subha's parents went home.Thank goodness!The safety of their caste in this life is guaranteed in the next life!The groom works in the West, and soon after the marriage, he took his wife away. In less than ten days, everyone knew that the bride was dumb!At least, if someone doesn't know, it's not her fault, because she didn't cheat anyone.Her eyes told everything, though no one understood her.She looked at everyone's hands and was speechless; she missed the faces she had known from childhood, the faces of people who could understand a dumb woman's language.In her silent heart, there is a constant silent cry, which only the "searcher of the soul" can hear. Using both eyes and ears, her master made another careful inspection, this time not only with his eyes but also with his ears, and he married a wife who could speak. (Originally published in "Translation" No. 9, 1956)