Chapter 63 To Zhao Qingge

Qing Court: Letter received early.Wenzao is back.Arrived home on May 6th.Now that he lives in the city, he still lives in Jialu, so you might as well talk to him when you have time (evening is more suitable).He went to Pearl Buck's place twice, and it was said that "Spring Breeze in Peach Plum" could not be staged. I don't know why?The mountain is very good, the moonlight is strangely clear these two nights, it's a pity you can't come.How is your cold?Be careful.Can't get to Laijiaqiao in mid-June? I didn't want to go to the city for a while, the weather was hot, and the room in Jialu was very stuffy.Wen Zao brings back a small gift for you, and he stays in Jialu to wait for you.We are all fine, the third and fourth child will be leaving, and the family will be a little lonely.The second child has already gone back to Wutong Bridge.Haste, best wishes.Xie Bingxin worships 45, 5, 26 ① Pearl S. Buck, a famous American female writer.

My good friend, Ms. Mourning Wang Shiying, a friend, is embedded in the sky of a person's heart, just like constellations in the blue sky. When a certain star falls, there is no way to move another star to fill her place! In the sky of my heart, there are very few stars in the first place, but the loss of a big star, how can I not feel empty and melancholy? I divide my friends into three categories.The first category is interesting. Most of these friends are very knowledgeable and meaningful, and they are fun to talk about without getting tired.They are often the most pleasing companions on the moon, sunset, and morning, on the top of the mountain and by the water.The second category is those who are talented. This kind of friends are mostly talented, or have strange habits, or are not trim. Will it break my heart.The third type is sentient beings. Most of these friends are silent and friendly, gentle and honest. When they are together, they make people warm, and when they are not together, they make people miss them.Especially in times of illness and hardship, you will yearn for his "presence"——Ms. Wang Shiying is one of the sentient beings among my friends!

This is not to say that Shiying is a person without interest or talent. Shiying has more than enough interest but not little talent, but her "interest" and "talent" are overshadowed and submerged by her "love". Shiying and I have been friends for more than 30 years. In the autumn of the first year of the Republic of China, I was in Fuzhou and entered the women's normal preparatory course. I was only eleven years old at that time. Shiying was in the third year of undergraduate. It's only about three or four years older.She is the youngest in class one, with braids, skirts, and laces on her flat shoes, very playful and lively.Because she was young, she often liked to play with her classmates in the lower class.She liked me very much. I was new to the city from the seaside, and I was unfamiliar with everything, and because she was a college student, I was a bit afraid to recruit her, although I liked her very much in my heart.The beginning of our true friendship was when we both studied in Peking during the "May 4th Movement".

That year she was studying at Peking Women's High School, and I was also taking classes at Yenching University in Peking. During the eight or nine years, due to the different school environments, we did not know each other. After the May 4th Movement was launched, the Federation of Women's Scholars performed dramas in the Youth Association to raise funds, and various school units performed exercises in the Youth Association.I forgot what the female high school teacher was playing, we were playing Shakespeare.On the eve of the rehearsal, between the second and third acts, I went upstairs alone, sat in the dark, looked down from behind, and suddenly heard light footsteps behind me, a warm hand pressing on my shoulder, I Looking back, a gentle smile asked, "You are Xie Wanying, aren't you? Do you remember Wang Shiying?"

In a daze, I asked her to sit next to me. There were only two of us in the dark upstairs. We all focused on the stage, but the conversation continued.She told me that when I was on stage, she felt familiar. She inquired about my classmates at Yanda University and confirmed that I was her childhood classmate. As soon as the curtain closed, she went to the backstage, and from the backstage followed upstairs ... She laughed and said how interesting this meeting was!She asked me how the study environment at Yanda University was, and then asked, "Is Bing Xin really you?" At that time, I hadn't publicly admitted to my classmates, but I had no choice but to nod to her.We scurry down from the beginning of Act Three, and we've been the closest of friends ever since.

At that time, my family lived in Zhongjianzi Lane, Dongcheng District, Beiping, and she lived in Zhuanta Hutong, Xicheng District, Beiping City University.However, we often correspond, two or three letters a week.At that time, it was the "May 4th" campaign, and everyone was busy discussing issues. When everything was re-evaluating the value, there were so many questions and opinions that we always felt that we couldn't finish it in the letter, so in the After each other came home from school, they often talked on the phone, talking for an hour or two.Our opinions are naturally different, but we can all accommodate each other's opinions.Later, the content of our correspondence became more and more relaxed, and we often talked and laughed leisurely on the phone. Sometimes she asked me to play the piano to her from the phone. My parents often joked with me, saying that they had never seen me with someone else. It would be easier for the family to live like this, and my father said with a smile, "In the future, your phone calls will be shortened, and my calls are often blocked by you!"

I was nice to everyone in school, and my classmates were nice to me, so I didn't have any special "friends".Shiying is very enthusiastic. In addition to being good to everyone, she has three special friends in her class, namely Huang Ying (Lu Yin), Chen Dingxiu, and Cheng Junying. Even she herself is called the Four Gentlemen by her classmates.Literary and romantic, they go in and out together... Lu Yin described their friendship in detail in her novel "Old Friends on the Seashore"——Shiying is the most calm and gentle among the four gentlemen, and Shiying is still the most gentle. They often say that I am "cold" and that my style of making friends is different from others.

I often argue with her, saying that I am not cold, but everyone has different emotional training and expresses differently. I tell her about my military family and my childhood environment, and she is very interested... But we are not forever Meet.Central Park and Beihai are halfway between our two families. During spring and autumn holidays or summer vacations, we often take our younger brothers and sisters to visit—we each have three younger brothers, and she has two younger sisters than me—the children run around and jump When we are in the water, we sit by the side of the water pavilion or Yilan hall, watching the water and talking.There is a rockery in the outer courtyard of her home in Zhuanta Hutong. There is also a flower bed in the courtyard at the gate of Jianzi Alley in our middle school. land.Our visits lasted half a day at most, and she usually came after lunch and returned at dusk, and sometimes extended into the night in summer.We like to talk in the middle of a starry night the most. When I write this, I still think of a story: She wrote a manuscript in the student union magazine, and the pseudonym she used was "Yixi". She took one, and I drew up a "one star" to give her. I love stars most in my life. I praised her because of the collection of Wang Cihui's "Obviously Lovely People Are Like the Moon" and Huang Zhongze's "A Star Is Like the Moon for a Long Time". was a lovely friend, and she gladly accepted.Until I went abroad in the twelfth year of the Republic of China, we kept in touch with each other lightly and forever.I am calmer and she is more gentle, so there has never been a heated debate or quarrel. People in our two families call us "childhood sweethearts". Among my friends, I have the most conversations with her, the most thorough, and the correspondence. The number of letters is also the largest (in four or five years, there are more than a few hundred letters), those years were the most intimate era in our past, and how many sweetest stories there are, thinking about it makes me very tempted and nostalgic!

When I went abroad, she was originally scheduled to see me off at Beiping East Station, because I had to finish a fleece coat for me that morning. When I arrived at the station, the train had already left. She was very sad, and she rushed to Shanghai to see me off in a few days. on board.I thanked her and said to her, "If I were you, it would be fine if I sent you off once, why bother rushing this sad parting?" She said abruptly, "Just because I am not you, I have my own thoughts! "——Lu Yin has a new poem, and I remember this incident. I only remember the middle four lines, which are:

The cashmere sweater weaved through hard work can't keep up with the gift of parting. The price is tight in the autumn wind. Don't you think the clothes are too thin? We stayed in Shanghai for a few more days.On the day of departure, I made a promise with her that she would leave as soon as she sent me on board, not to watch the ship sail away, but she could not fulfill this precious promise. She was still standing on the pier when the ship sailed a long way...to the United States From then on, when homework was busy and the distance was long, the density of our correspondence was far worse than before. I only knew that she was from Shanghai, and she returned to Fuzhou to teach.In the spring of the thirteenth year, I was recuperating in Qingshan, USA, and suddenly got a letter from her. At the end of the letter, it mentioned that Mr. Zhang Junmai had proposed to her, and asked me if this marriage could be considered. Although the words were understated, the meaning was quite sincere.Mr. Junmai and I are strangers to each other, and I have read his philosophical and political articles. Since Shiying asked me, it means that she and her family have no problems. I immediately replied on the bed. I wrote a letter to try to make it happen, and asked her to tell me the date of the ceremony.In the autumn of that year, I received their wedding invitation. I remember that the gift I sent back was a bracelet inlaid with orange gemstones.

In the autumn of the fifteenth year of the Republic of China, when I came back to China, I went to visit the couple as soon as I arrived in Shanghai. At that time, not long after their eldest child, Xiaohu, was born, Shiying was still in bed, and Mr. Junmai hurried downstairs to pick me up. Like a long-time acquaintance, he held my hand with great joy and sincerity.Coming upstairs, Shiying, who became a mother, seemed a little shy when she saw me at first, but was immediately overwhelmed by joy and excitement.I talked messily on the edge of her bed for half an hour, afraid that she would be tired, so I left.Before I went north, I met several times. From their conversations and attitudes, I can see that they are ideal and harmonious partners.When I talked with them individually, I also cherished congratulations and blessings to each of them. After the 16th year of the Republic of China, my father worked in Shanghai, and the whole family moved to Shanghai.When I go home during the annual vacation and summer vacation, I always go to their house. Shiying has become the mother of two and three children. , all feel great interest and try our best to help.I watched from the side, and felt that my respect and love for Shiying continued unabated!She is a good daughter and sister at home, a good student, teacher, and friend at school, and a good wife and mother when she gets married. This kind of personality requires considerable patience and continuous efforts. , gentle and frank to deal with her environment, she is always a comfort and inspiration to those around her! After my mother passed away in the 20th year of the Republic of China, my father moved back to Beiping, and I had fewer opportunities to meet Shiying.They came back from Germany in the 23rd year of the Republic of China, and Mr. Junmai came to teach at Yanda University. We lived very close to each other, and we rekindled our old friendship.Mr. Junmai and Wenzao are both bookworms. They talked about books until midnight, so Shiying and I were more often together.The scenery in the western suburbs of Beiping is beautiful, and the spring and autumn are beautiful, and there are many things to enjoy. The time we lived together in those one or two years seemed to be more profound and purified than before. They first left Peiping and went to Shanghai, and we also went to Kunming after the War of Resistance. We were separated for six or seven years and lived in different places. Because of the hectic life, on the surface, we were estranged.Until the year before last, we met again in Chongqing, we were so fond of each other that we almost shed tears. She held my hand and said that she had heard that I was always sick, but unexpectedly I did not look haggard.I smiled, I know her intentions, she is comforting me!I thanked her, and I said, "During the Anti-Japanese War, everyone got old and thin. This is a normal behavior. It's fine if you don't die." She stopped me and said, "You always like to say dead words..." I stopped laughing—who knew that she, a healthy person, would have died first! She lives in Wangshan, and I live in Geleshan. To meet each other, we have to cross a river and climb a ridge. Transportation during wartime is more difficult than anything else, so we only see each other once or twice a year.She told me that there are green plum blossoms in Wangshan.When the flowers are in bloom, you must come to see them. This agreement has been made for three years, but it has not been fulfilled. I don’t think I will ever go to Wangshan to see the plum blossoms. Shiying has gone, so let me always commemorate this shortcoming. Our only communication in Chongqing.It was she who wrote it to me first. On May 1 last year, she went to Geleshan to attend the inauguration ceremony of the No. 1 Nursery School. She didn’t meet me. She “returned disappointed” and wrote a few lines to me in Chongqing: Sister Bing: After arriving in Chongqing, I went to Gele Mountain for the first time... because they told me that you might come to attend the inauguration ceremony of the nursery... I can tell you that I have been waiting for you on the mountain for a long time... Ju Shen—maybe it’s because of my age that I often recall the old days—but today’s fact, when I arrived at the nursery, I didn’t see you, and due to time constraints, I couldn’t see you. Me, your poor health makes me regret that I missed the opportunity not to take a moment to see you!I wrote to you several times on the mountain, but I finally didn’t send it. No matter what, I want to write these words to you today, or it’s not what you imagined.Let's talk again, I wish you a full recovery May 1. I was very happy and touched when I received this letter on my sickbed. The mood made me feel melancholy, so I wrote back to her.There is a saying in it that "the cuckoo's cry makes people upset". In March of this year, she had abandoned me and passed away. I was even more afraid of hearing the cuckoo's cry. Heartache, especially in the rain or under the moon in the middle of the night, the repeated "bitterness" makes me cry sadly on the pillow... After all, Shiying came to Geleshan to see me once, that was last summer, she came from the north When Hot Spring came back, she took her two daughters and her younger brother Shiqi and his wife, and sat on our porch for a long time.She praised the vista in front of our porch very much, so I asked her to come and stay for a while—the last time we met was in September last year, and we were both in Chongqing.Mr. Junmai's younger brother, Yujiu and his wife, invited us to have dinner together. After dinner, we talked about how I went to Tianqiao to look for Sai Jinhua in Beiping. Shiying was very happy to hear that. let me stay.Wen Zao asked with a smile, "What about Junmai?" Shiying also laughed and said, "Junmai can go back with you to live in Jialu." I said, "It's so comfortable for me to live in Fanlu, but Junmai's living in Jialu would be too wronged for him." Everyone joked for a long time, But because we had a meeting the next morning, we finally left. Looking back now, I regret that I didn't stay at the beginning, because in our more than 30 years of friendship, there has never been a "falling asleep" experience! At the beginning of March this year, I went to Chongqing and heard the news that Shiying was about to give birth. She lost her third son—Xiaobao—the year before last, and now she can have another little one. I am very happy for her.At that time, Mr. Junmai and Wenzao were participating in the Pacific Society in the United States. I wrote to Wenzao, saying that Mr. Junmai was about to become a father again. Less than ten days after the letter was written, Mr. Mei Yuehan came to the mountain. Maybe he didn’t Knowing the friendship between Shiying and me, at the dinner table, he mentioned it by chance and said, "Mrs. Junmai passed away the day before yesterday, probably due to dystocia." Come on. I didn't sleep all night, and early the next morning, I sent separate letters to Ms. Zhang Xiaomei (Ms. Zhang Yujiu) and Ms. Zhang Aizhen (Mrs. Wang Shiqi) in Chongqing to inquire.I always feel that the news is too sudden. How can the person who has lived vividly in my heart for thirty years just leave without saying a word?I waited in suspense all day long for a reply, and finally two replies arrived within a few days, confirming the most unfortunate news! In Ms. Aizhen's letter, she said: Fear, feeling overwhelmed after childbirth, doctors tried all methods, but finally failed to recover, the baby was male, unable to breathe after birth, after many rescue efforts, he became alive, unfortunately, it was postponed to the next day, and he died again... The coffin is temporarily sent to the Zhejiang Guild Hall... …When I heard this news in Junmai’s journey, I can see the pain, God’s will, what can I say... Ms. Xiao Mei said in the letter: The only thing I can do is to let it go... I have never been to the Zhejiang Guild Hall, and I will accompany Mr. Junmai when he returns to China.I can't bear to see her coffin, only when I am comforting others can I muster up my courage! I wrote a letter to Wen Zao, "...the ideal happy couple I have seen in the past twenty years is really rare, and this kind of sadness of life and death happens to them. I can't bear to imagine Mr. Mr. Mai has become a 'homeless' person! If he has received news from the country, you must solemnly comfort him..." Ms. Xiao Mei came to visit in mid-June, and she showed me Mr. Junmai’s couplet, which is: Twenty years of hardships and hardships, hardships and hardships, He Tu and farewell forever Sixty years of service to the country, save the world, no way, bear the burden of each other She also mentioned that on the eve of Mr. Junmai's departure to the United States, Shiying drank with him, and the affection was lingering The brothers and sisters all laughed that they were more loving than a young couple, and after Shiying's death, they all felt that this farewell performance was a bit close to an omen. Shiying's body has always been very good, and she is calm and optimistic. No one would have thought that she would die so suddenly.Over the past twenty years, she has often worried about my health. She never imagined that I, who was never very healthy, would write a pen tonight to mourn Shiying!If she had mourned me, she had a better memory, deeper emotions, and she kept more letters, what a touching article she might have written!Now your "calm" friend can only write this bookkeeping paragraph, how sorry I am for you.Still, you are wise and blessed to leave this kind of stuff for me to write! On the night of August 9, 1945, Geleshan, Chongqing.