Chapter 59 To Zhao Qingge

Qing Court: Two letters, very comforting.Emei's lottery is especially close to my heart, I am very grateful, and I have kept it as a memory.Meeting in the city for days, sneaking in.You are not here, there is one less person to talk to.I don't know when you will return?Is there a day?After the September 18th meeting, we went up the mountain immediately.Days of rain, very stuffy.I still want to go around Chengdu, just to see how the hitchhiking contact is going? This process is in good health.I wonder if you suffered from stomach problems on the way?Now that you are in Chengdu, why not go to Jiading for a walk?There are still many people there.A hasty message, and I wish Lujia Bingxin worship on April 4th, September, and September.

① "Jiading" belongs to Sichuan Province and governs Leshan.Empty House Rainbow and I have pinned our joy and hope for a lifetime on this empty house—but why not? This house, no matter how you look at it, is an ideal small family house: leaning against the mountain, the house is built on the slope, and the door faces a very concave valley.The peaks, slopes and valleys are covered with pines.The mountain is foggy, windy and rainy, so the house is quietly placed among the sea of ​​pines and clouds.There are no houses nearby, and a narrow path passes under the house.The gate is an elegant frame nailed from the trunk of a tree. Except for a few natural clumps of bamboo, there is no surrounding wall. Dozens of stone steps, with three or four twists and turns, lead to the porch of the house. The wood is in the style of ice pattern, which is very elegant.Looking in through the glass; the same color of light yellow walls, and neat floors, the left is the front and back, the light is very good.On the right is a large horizontal room with a large fireplace on the back wall.Behind this large room are two horizontal rooms, with the house on the right and the corridor leading to the backyard on the left.Going around the porch and pushing open the small door in the backyard, there is only a small yard separated from the house in front, close to the mountain wall, and there are three small houses in a row, which are prepared to be used as the kitchen and the next room.

No matter how you look at it, Hong is the most ideal woman to live with me: she is neither too healthy nor too beautiful, but she has a very flexible demeanor, a very charming smile, and a very Smart talk.Her ideals, her opinions, have many similarities with mine.Thinking of her makes me cry, but also makes me laugh. She is so deeply rooted in my heart. If I lose her... Oh, I can't imagine... Although she still has a paralyzed mother, a An idiot brother, and a consumptive sister, but what does it matter? What about me?Finally, I am a progressive young man. I am a college student in chemical engineering. After graduation, I am doing research work in the chemical laboratory on this mountain.I don't have all the bad habits, and bad habits, I respect my career, I don't love money.I believe that if I put my head down and work hard, I will not let down my country and my society...Although I have an old and sick father, an extravagant stepmother, and five younger siblings...but what does it matter? Woolen cloth?

If I and my rainbow can be closed in this elegant house forever, the environment and companions will cheer up our spirit and courage.We read books together, talk together, study and study together. We are calves carrying heavy burdens, and we are also a pair of happy and cooperative cows, who like to sweat and pant to move forward! This house is said to be the property of a great official and businessman, and it was built for him by his right and left.This was just the smallest and crudest of his many villas, and he hadn't even been there himself, and it had been vacant for several years.Of course, he may also come to live, and he may let his friends live, but as long as it is currently vacant, it doesn't matter if Hong and I can go for a walk often.

This house is only half a mile from our laboratory.One evening two years ago, I was walking on this path after work. I looked up and caught a glimpse of it in the shadow of the pine trees.Until the moonlit night of last year, because I was avoiding air raids, I sat with Hong on the temple, hugging my knees, and talked about late night, the shadow of the window, the wind in the eaves, the pine moon all over the mountain, Hehong's crisp voice, and her The smiling and worrying silhouette rolled up my whole soul, and pushed it into this empty house... The family where Hong is a teacher is only a mile or more away from this house.The first time we met was in an air-raid shelter on this hillside. I brought a large bag of paperwork, and she brought three or four children.The seats in our cave happen to be connected.

It's been closed for too long, and when her students are restless and noisy, I tell them stories.I have always liked children, and I talked to them very lively, and I didn't even notice the female teacher sitting silently in the dark!When the alarm was lifted and everyone crowded to the entrance of the cave, Hong took the child and thanked me.Her shy smile was as dazzling as the sunlight outside the cave. Since then, we have often greeted and talked in and out of the cave. This summer, I suddenly felt unspeakably happy. During work, I often couldn't help smiling, and I often played short songs in my mouth.Receiving a letter complaining about money collection will not affect my sleep, and I can swallow a rough diet, and I eat a lot.I feel that I eat and drink in happiness, and sleep in happiness. As long as there are rainbows and me in the world, what else does it matter?

The second time Hong and I went to see the house was on a Sunday. We agreed to have a picnic on the porch. I brought two catties of flatbread, half a catty of sauced beef, and a bottle of water. Hong took a bag of peanuts and a few pieces of candy.At that time, we both knew that each other was a calf pulling a load of loads, and we were not polite in these matters, and we both ate very sweetly.After having a picnic, I took the rainbow and went in through the back door, and looked at each house carefully.Hong opened her big eyes, and couldn't help admiring the architect's thoughtfulness.That day she was wearing a pale yellow singlet with black borders and a loose shawl, with an unusual layer of healthy rosiness on her cheeks.She pointed excitedly and said, "Look how good this direction is. The whole house faces southeast! The room in the southeast corner is just like a study room. A big desk can be placed in front of the east window, and short bookcases are built into the four walls." , put a small coffee table and nine small chairs under the south window, and there is no need for other furnishings in this room." Turning around, she walked back and said, "This house facing south, It just happens to be a bedroom, and the sunlight is good, with light red curtains, a low bed, a rocking chair, and a small dressing table, the air is very soft and quiet. The best is the large room outside..." She said Going to the big room outside again, leaning against the window, turned around and said with a smile: "The pine shadows around here are too thick, this room needs to be hung with colorful cloud-like curtains to make it brighter. Buy white cloth and paint on it with oil paint. In this way, No matter what color of flowers and plants are placed in the room, they are all suitable. Hanging a portrait of Monaliza on the fireplace, paired with a pair of pale yellow candles, how elegant it would be! Look how big and simple the fireplace is. There is a lot of firewood behind the mountain, go pick some, on a rainy evening in winter, light the fireplace, not light the lamp, sip tea in the fire, listen to the rain, heh, I would also like to hear the midnight..." She was breathing a little fast , could not stop talking.

I looked at her silently, how beautiful and smart this girl is!She actually arranged the most beautiful house with fantasy in this empty house... I smiled happily, and I said, "Hong, when I save enough money tomorrow, I will buy this house and pick you up." Stop!" She raised her head and looked at me in surprise, a deeper blush suddenly covered her face.I knew I had said something wrong, so I quickly continued: "Since you like it so much, I bought this house and sublet it to you." She just smiled, but immediately frowned, and walked out absent-mindedly. Then we followed outside the corridor, and we all fell silent.Originally, I never expressed that I loved her, and she never said that she loved me, let alone other things.However, as long as we understand and understand in our hearts, what does it matter?

We have been there many times since then.This summer, there were too many air raids, I couldn’t work, and she didn’t teach, but we didn’t go to the air-raid shelter. The mountain was originally safe, and this courtyard was the most secluded place. Under the sun and moonlight, we sat Chatting on the porch.Hong added a lot of ideas to the courtyard layout: plant roses under the porch, cannas should be planted beside the bamboo, rhododendrons should be planted on both sides of the stone steps, and cut flat to form a natural short wall... I always listen to it with a smile It is said that this kind of conversation will always continue until the alarm is lifted.

The foggy season is coming, and the air raids are gone.I rushed to make up work in the laboratory, and Hong also made up homework for the students. We rarely met each other.But in the midst of busy work, in my heart, I always look forward to the houses and courtyards arranged in fantasy, and the rainbow walking in the courtyard laughing and walking.This longing made me addicted and intoxicated, and when I thought about it, my chest became hot! Spring should be happier, but there is a layer of pressure in my heart.Letters from my family in Shanghai always mention that life is getting higher and higher, my father's serious illness is getting worse, and the debt is so bad that I can't borrow any more. I hope I can send some money back.Otherwise, not only the younger brothers and sisters will drop out of school, but the whole family will also lose their food.

As for Hong, her family originally lived in her cousin's factory on the South Bank.Her cousin is the manager of a factory, he has a lot of money and treats her family very well, but her cousin died in early spring, and there is no one to take care of the family.On weekends, Hong often goes to the South Bank. When she comes back, she is always sad and silent. It is rare to see her happy smile.Gradually, we feel the bondage of "reality", which is getting tighter and tighter, although we are still struggling to walk on the road of fantasy... During the summer vacation, Hong lived on the South Bank, and I went to Lanzhou to attend the annual meeting of the Society of Engineers, and by the way, in the Northwest I took a trip.Back on the mountain, on a rainy evening in early autumn, I opened two letters on my messy desk.The first was from my uncle, and it said: "Nephew Ying Huiqing: I received a letter from your father from Shanghai, saying that your family has come to the end of the ropes recently, and I deeply regret that you only know your own future and don't care about family burdens!Uncle is also old, with a lot of index fingers in the family, it is difficult to take care of the situation, the salary in the research institute is too low, not enough for long-term love, hereby I have obtained the post of assistant for my nephew in ×× Bank, although the status is low, but the salary and bonus are average It can be around 30,000 yuan per month.The success of this matter is partly due to chance and partly due to face. Don't miss the opportunity by using "interest" and "career" as excuses!Hope to resign today and go to the city to report, absolutely must. "Uncle" The second letter was from Hong, with only a few short words: "Ying: I resigned from my job here yesterday, and I plan to go back to the South Bank to stay for a long time. Tomorrow afternoon, please meet on the porch of the empty house. Even if we say goodbye and feel confused, we will tell you everything in person. Hong will be there soon." Holding these two letters, I felt my hands and feet were cold, my chest was choking, and it was already dark outside the window; there were only one or two faint lights, struggling to flicker in the layers of fog—the next day at dusk, I dragged Walking with heavy steps, looking up the mountain, this path was originally the road to paradise, but today... I lowered my head and was thinking faintly, when I suddenly raised my head and arrived at the door of this house, I was stunned, wiped Wipe your eyes and recognize again, oh, everything has changed!Bamboo fences taller than people have been woven around, and the two dark gates are tightly closed. The windows and corridors are exposed above the fences. White curtains are hung on the windows, and rows of variegated clothes are hung on the corridors. Pants... I shivered, as if the whole mountain was shaking under my feet!I gritted my teeth, stood for a while, then staggered past the house, facing the way of the rainbow. I stopped the rainbow on the way. Her hair was full of mist, and a gray raincoat wrapped her small body. Her eye circles were slightly black, showing her big dark and sad eyes. She turned to me. With a miserable smile, he still walked forward.I stopped her and said, "Hong, we can't go, that house is occupied!" My voice trembled, she looked up at me, bit her lip, and smiled miserably, we stopped by the roadside up. After a long silence——I slowly took out the letter from my uncle from my bag and stuffed it in Hong's hand.Hong opened the letter, read it carefully, and handed it back to me wordlessly.With her hands in her raincoat pockets, she kicked the stones on the ground with the toes of her shoes. After a long time, she raised her head and said, "Okay, we all have to go away. You sacrificed your career, and I... I sacrificed mine." ...Love..." I looked up, and she smiled, with a strange smile: "I have promised to marry my cousin, of course this is the opinion of my parents. My cousin has liked me since he was a child, because he likes me, I have taken care of my family. I have only gratitude to him, but no love. I always hope that one day, I can take care of this sick family alone, so as to lighten his debt. Because of the higher salary, I came to this mountain to work as a teacher and a nanny, and spent three years with these mischievous children, and now... "I don't know why I met you here! We They are the most pitiful and despicable children who only know how to indulge and escape in fantasy. This fantasy has made us happy for many days, but reality is still reality! It is lighter than floating clouds, and reality is heavier than Mount Tai. Today, the floating clouds are scattered Only when we try our best do we realize that we have been crushed under this grim reality!" She stopped for a while, her cheeks flushed, and she coughed slightly, "But I don't regret our meeting—although we are separated forever, in the cape, in the end of the world, we all know that we are Walking the same fate, that is endless loneliness and sorrow... "I don't ask you to forget me, because I know you will not forget me, just as I will not forget you. She stretched out her hand: "Goodbye, Ying!"No, I don't say goodbye, I hope we never see each other again! " Tears filled my throat, I held her hand, stopped for a while, she broke free, turned around and left, I was about to call her, she suddenly turned around again, her face was full of tears, With a smile all over her face, she stretched out her arms: "Fantasy, why not, let's use fantasy to end this parting... Ying, don't you go to the city to go to work? Don't forget that you still have a beautiful and comfortable home. You go to work hard, and when you come back on the weekend, I will light a red candle in the window to illuminate your way home.I'll be on the low table by the fireside, preparing your next fine dinner, and if you call me on this path, I'll run down the steps to fetch you!Go, my Ying, see you Saturday night! With a choked sound, she laughed and walked back into the deep mist of the pine forest—the darkness covered it! My soul has left me, and my numb legs are dragging my body step by step. Going down the mountain - this path is endlessly long, down, down, leading me into the bottomless abyss. Thirty-three years on October 25th night, Geleshan