Chapter 22 realize

He read this letter over and over thirty times.He rested his chin on his left hand, and leaned against the back of the chair; under the light, the thin lines of characters seemed to stand up from the paper.He bit his lip and remained silent for twenty minutes, then suddenly folded the letter up according to the original marks, threw it on the table, put his hand on his forehead, and stood up lazily—only then did he hear the sound of falling outside the window. The autumn rain of the day never stopped. He opened the curtains and saw that there were messy lights under the bushes, and the rain and wind were reflected in the light and shadow.After standing still for a while, he turned his head and sat down again. Unexpectedly, he picked up the letter from the table, slowly unfolded it, and read it again with concentration.

I have heard friends talking about you many times, and I did not expect to meet you during the three days of the conference; I am lucky to be able to have a clear talk! The new moon is in the sky, the night when the waves splash, and I sit on the rock together, and you earnestly correct my philosophy of life.Three days of Xinjiao, if this is true, I am greatly moved in my heart.But how can you understand what I think?You are a person with a happy and complete life, and all the problems in the world are not problems for you.As you are such a proud son of heaven and man, An Neng doesn't feel that the world is like a kingdom of heaven!As for me, when I was less than five years old, my unfortunate mother died; when I was thirteen, my father abandoned me and died.From that year on, I worked part time and studied part time, suffered ten years of suffering, wandering and wandering, and spent time in the world of thorns.Now I am completely isolated, there is no one who loves me and loves me in the world. My philosophy of life is definitely not based on momentary resentment; after twenty-three years of hard life, I have a deep understanding of life!The world is blind, and human beings are bumping in it like rocks. Deep down, it is actually a world of swords and knives!I don't know how many young people were pierced through the chest by the falling swords, and the bloody death moaned on the ground.You are just the rest of your life, a survivor among the swords, how can you generalize the rest?

When it comes to "natural" consolations, it's all about one's mood.From my point of view, the world is only blind; the earth is blind to produce mountains and rivers, space is blind to birth, moon and stars, the atmosphere is blind to rain, snow, clouds and clouds in the sky, and trees and flowers on the ground.All living things have their most unfortunate and painful history, and they have been eliminated and struggled for tens of millions of years. "Heaven and earth are not benevolent, all things are humble dogs," If you really take this as a consolation, I don't know how much more angry you will be!Among the countless blind touches, which one can prove the word "love"?

Let alone mentioning human beings, mentioning human beings, I don't know how many blood and tears I will burst out!The system has been established, the class has been deep, selfishness and self-interest have firmly established a foundation on the earth.These higher animals do not hesitate to use all kinds of despicable means, whether individuals, groups, or countries, to encourage them to run towards this goal.All kinds of hypocrisy, all kinds of cruelty. What kind of mutual aid, what kind of sympathy, I have understood all of these! —Natural love, I have almost forgotten, I can't bear to think about this step—now I believe in everything, deny everything, and all I believe in is myself!

Therefore, I firmly believe that there are only pains and tears in life. In the boring and aimless study, I also specialize in mathematics and science, and make a living from the boring numbers of hundreds, thousands, thousands, and billions.My philosophy of life... Open the skylight and speak the truth, I don't seek to benefit the people, I don't seek to benefit the society, I just want to have a bowl of food to save myself from starvation and thirst.To put it bluntly, I have never had a philosophy of life, and I hate such superb and mysterious terms as philosophy, literature and art!I believe that in the world, except that one plus one is two, and two plus two is four, which is an infallible truth, all kinds of literary and artistic philosophies are nothing but empty talk and self-deception!Things in the world don't need to be explained in other words. The cold definition of scientists has said everything.

Having said that, I still have to be grateful to you, especially wishing that you can ignite my ashes with the fire of your soul. —— In addition, there is a side note. I mentioned our conversation with some friends the other day; a friend laughed and said, "It's strange, he only advocates the philosophy of love, but he is a cold-hearted person." Another friend said : "He is not easy to predict. At first glance, he looks lively and easy, but in the end he is indifferent." After talking for a while, the understanding of you is different.I didn’t meet you when I visited you a few days ago, so I stopped by to ask Xiaoqi; on his desk, I accidentally saw a long poem of yours "I would rather I love the people of the world". It seems to be lyrical and narrative. The meaning of "Don't let people in the world love me", the words are clear and the meaning is cold, after repeated chanting, I don't understand you anymore!I shouldn't have asked you this way, but I still know you from the aspect of being lively and easy, or I am willing to tell you with a pure heart, I wish you happiness!Your friend Zhong Wu was completely insane, and after a while -- he stood up bravely, folded the letter in his pocket, took the raincoat and felt from the recovery room, and walked out straight away.

Passing through the corridor, the door of a room was open, under the light, the paper on the desk was messy, Xiao Qi was busy writing only in his shirt. Hearing the sound of footsteps, he looked up and saw him, stopped writing, turned around and said, "It's raining heavily outside, where are you going?" He stopped, leaning his right hand on the door frame, leaning his head on his right arm, and said weakly: " I have a terrible headache and want to go out for a change of air." Xiaoqi said, "Why don't you go in the rain, just open the window for a while, or just stand on the porch." He slowly He put on his raincoat, smiled quietly and bowed his head before leaving.Xiaoqi looked at his back, shook his head and sighed with a smile: "If you don't listen to me, I'll just get sick sooner or later, always acting like a ghost!"

When he opened the hall door, he already felt raindrops hitting his face, and he just followed his footsteps in the mud.I just felt that I had passed the lights of several buildings, and I was stepping on the wet and piled up fallen leaves... When I raised my head suddenly, a lamp was trembling in the rain, and the water was murmuring, and I had reached the lakeside.He woke up like a dream, "This road is not close! I really miss it." It turned out that he was on the lake where he took pictures several times a day! Suddenly realized, he lowered his head again, put his hands in his pockets, relying on the dim light of the lights in the distance, he walked zigzagging along the lakeshore.I only felt the damp and cold coming up from the ground, and only the sound of water and rain could be heard in my ears. ——Suddenly felt that from the darkness, we entered the short flower-laying wall, and the steps of white stone were clearly presented under our feet.Step by step, he walked up slowly and entered the square pavilion with red tiles and red rails.With a slight sigh, he took off his rain hat, threw it on the stone table, and walked to the front of the pavilion, holding on to the railing tightly with both hands.As far as the eye can see, there are green velvet-like rows of pine trees under the pavilion, standing steeply in the white mist like small peaks.The lake is completely invisible, only a star of love lights on the other side, twinkling in the rain,  …

He suddenly recalled the letter just now, and sat down on the stone chair again, resting his head on his hands.The thin characters appeared in front of his eyes again, and he read them again in the phantom, and his fascination was lost - he fell asleep on the stone table for dozens of minutes. Gradually I felt the sound of the rain stopped, and slowly opened my eyes, and suddenly saw a bright light, and the lake and mountains danced!Surprised, he stood up and walked out of the pavilion. Sure enough, the lake was full of moons when the clouds collected rain and snow! He froze, walking on the lake thousands of times, this is indeed the first time in such a bright world!The brocade-like lake waves are rippling with the melting moon.The sky after the rain was as cold as blue glass.Clusters of dense leaves with rain on the side of the lake shone towards the moon, shining like fiery trees and silver flowers. The wet shadows under the ground were uneven, and the lake stones were clearly exposed to the water. ...

At this time, he forgot all his troubles, took off his raincoat, took the felt blanket, turned over from the shadow of the pine trees, and walked down the pavilion until he reached the water's edge.He stood firmly, looking at the intoxicating lake water, which was soft and silent under the moonlight.He feels that he is immersed in nature, in the sky, on the ground, and in the world, there is only one person, only this moment.Suddenly a new idea rushed into his heart, he smiled and slowly took off his outer clothes, stood on the short wall, and opened his hands to the bright moon.With a slight cheer, he raised his arms above his head, jumped from the wall like a swallow, and swept into the water.

Floating and sinking in the soft waves several times, he jumped to the surface of the water again; he stroked his arms gently backwards, turned slowly in the water, and moved towards the center of the lake.Blowing a short song slowly... the lake is illuminated by the moon, the lake is surrounded by trees, the pavilion in the middle of the mountain, and the broken bridge by the water all quietly stop in the cool scenery.Some lights by the lake are still shining far away, everything is silent, only the waves of the lake around him, a piece of wisdom is flowing. He turned around slowly again, looking up at the cool clouds in the sky.After kicking the shore of the lake, he stood up on the stone, walked to the wall, wrapped the felt around his body, lay down on the sand, stared at the sky, and meditated silently. The raindrops gradually came from the clouds again, and the bright moon gradually faded away. ... Xiaoqi went to the dining room in the morning and never saw him go downstairs to eat.But there was a letter from him on the table, which came from China, so I picked it up casually.After dinner, I went upstairs, knocked on the door and went in. I saw him sitting on the bed covered with a blanket, with wet short hair hanging on his forehead, his cheeks were flushed, but his eyes were as clear as water, as if realizing something. . Xiao Qi said: "What's the matter? Last night until half past eleven, I didn't see you back. I wanted to find you, but I didn't know where you were, so I had to go to bed first. With such piercing eyes and such embarrassment, did you actually walk all night in the rain that never stopped? He smiled and said, "Last night between twelve o'clock and two o'clock, the sky was full of bright moon, who knows?" Xiao Qi said in surprise: "So you didn't come back until after two o'clock!"I have already said, you will be sick sooner or later! He leaned over and sat down, and said, "I don't feel anything, just a slight fever, dizzy and thirsty, and don't want to get up." Xiaoqi said, "According to me, I should go to the hospital. After all, there is a complete care and rest." " He thought for a while and said, "That's not necessary. It may be better after the meal. Why skip school for a few days because of some minor illness!" Xiaoqi said, "That's fine, you don't need to rest, I will order the meal downstairs. Come, I will come to accompany you, you are too delicate, you can't stand the cold." As he spoke, he walked to the door and saw the water on the green raincoat hanging on the wall, dripping from time to time, and there was a large area of ​​puddles on the ground, so he couldn't help turning his head and smiling at him, "how old are the miserable green clothes, how old are they?" On a day when the wind is forbidden, how can the rain be forbidden!" After two sentences, he sneered and then leaned on the pillow desolately, looking up to the sky without saying a word. Xiaoqi suddenly returned it again, took out a letter from his pocket and handed it to him, saying, "Almost forgot, here is a letter from China - such beautiful characters!" He took it, excitedly, First, I looked at the sun and the moon on the cover repeatedly, and said with a smile, "I guess I should have a letter! Is it beautiful? This handwriting is indeed better than mine, it is my sister's handwriting." He raised it without saying anything, and left After going out, he leaned forward and said thanks. Treasure and hastily opened it, and the big and flat characters written in thick ink on the calendered paper caught his eyes, which immediately brought him infinite joy.He hurriedly read, thought slowly, and finished reading these two papers. I love reading your diary-like long letters!I wonder how you have the time to write so much, but this has greatly comforted my parents and me. A letter came from my uncle two days ago, saying that since you left the country, he only has a card from you, and he is eager to hear about you.I sent your letter and poems to him, and he wrote back: "Nephew Xing's letter is very detailed, which comforts me, but the poems and essays are too unmanly. Just three months after I went to the country, how can I hear you?" Do you feel sad?" Brother!I forbid you to write any more love words!You are too tender, and you want to think about the desolation and suffer for yourself. I don't feel sorry for you, but when my mother sees it, she is often sad. Why bother!Mother is not yours alone, I forbid you to touch her casually! How are you?Life is of course pleasant. Has the beautiful environment ever affected your thoughts? ——Since you left at home, nothing has changed, only you are missing, and there is one more thing, that is, I hope to get your long letter every day.My parents and I miss you several times a day.Naturally, I felt lonely, and there were few people to talk to and laugh with, and I learned less academically.I only hope that the past two years will pass by like flying, and you will return early. It will be a family celebration at that time. What happened to Qin'er you promised me?Remember to send it to me before my birthday! I sincerely wish you peace of mind and body.Double Ninth Festival He looked and looked, thinking in his heart, "It's your own fault, I don't feel sorry for you, but when my mother sees it, she is often sad, why bother!" With a word, he sighed deeply and leaned on the pillow in a daze. Sit for a while.When the waiter brought in the food, he inadvertently saw him coming, then left again.He unintentionally picked up the glass of water and was drinking, when Xiao got up and asked, "How is it? Is it better?" and sat down by himself.He pondered and replied: "I don't feel good, my head is getting heavier, take me to the hospital." Xiaoqi said, "This is the best, but why did you change the meaning?" He tapped the plate lightly with a fork, and smiled, "It's not because of illness. But I want to solve a big problem, type A difficult thought, let others take care of your body, and give up your whole brain to think." Xiaoqi smiled and got up and said: "You are here again, always thinking too much! No matter, you clean it yourself, I will call the car to deliver you go." The nurse took out the thermometer from his mouth, lowered the curtains, told him to calm down quietly, and walked out with the door behind him smiling.At this time, the room was dark, and he felt his head was on fire, so he turned around and took the water bottle on the bedside table, drank a full bottle of water, and then lay down again.Closing his eyes, he could only hear the wind in the trees, and gradually the lake light from last night under the moon appeared in front of his eyes; his soul gradually calmed down, and he fell into a deep sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night, in the darkness, it seemed to be in the wilderness, or on top of a peak, with no one to rely on, and the surroundings were full of darkness and desolation.The sound of rain on the leaves outside the window still doesn't stop, my head doesn't hurt anymore, I'm just extremely tired.He couldn't think, he just listened to many past events, passing through his mind like flowing water.In the midst of confusion and melancholy, at dawn, the rain suddenly stopped. Get up with bare feet and roll up the curtains, lie down and watch the morning sun come up from the treetops, patches of colorful clouds, unwinding like crocodile silk.The lake water lying in front of the window is tired and not flowing, it seems to be waking up from a deep sleep, and there are lingering dreams in the sleepy eyes... While watching, the doctor opened the door and came in.The nurse followed behind with a large bouquet of flowers and a book.Everyone smiled at him, and the doctor came up and touched his forehead, and asked him what hard work he had done, and he coyly told him about his trip to the lake on a rainy night.The doctor looked at him and smiled, looked around in the air for another week, then nodded and went out. At this time, the caretaker had put the flowers in a vase, held them up and placed them in front of his bed, and took the picture, which was written by Xiao Qi: Looking forward to you, I hope you will be in the hospital soon.Attached is a volume of "Drinking Words" for your entertainment. I have already told the doctor, when you are fully recovered, send us a letter, and everyone will pick you up at the hospital! He lay down again, picked up the book, and didn't look at it, just staring at the countless thick red petals. Amidst the fragrance of flowers, he looked at the light green walls, the white painted bed table, the room was very simple and clean.The sun slowly moved over the window lattice. He felt slightly warm, put down the book, lifted a layer of felt, sat up, and wrote a few words on a bright card with a pencil: Sister Kam: Long letter, both physically and mentally are safe, don't hang up.Brother Grass I rang the bell and handed it over to the nurse, and since then I have been silent and lying down, as for the night. The heat was high at night, and the nurse heard him whimpering and raving.When I went in and looked, I saw his head hanging by the pillow and tears streaming down his face in a dream; when he woke up and asked, he only forced a smile and said nothing, his blank eyes and red face showed that he was very dizzy and hot.The nurse withdrew silently, came in with the doctor, put an ice pack on his forehead, his mind was cold and his heart was hot, and he lost consciousness in a daze. During the three days of obscurity and heat, he was still alive.Knowing that the environment is born from the heart, he closed his eyes and only thought that his mother was always sitting in front of his bed, holding a thought firmly in his mind. It was not until the morning of the fourth day that he was fully awake. It felt like a lifetime away, with flowers and letters piled up in front of the bed—the nurse happily told him how his friends kept asking him these few days, how drowsy he himself was, but now he is better!He was also very happy, so he leaned over and flipped through the stacked envelopes. Suddenly, a line of thin characters in the middle caught his eyes, and he quickly picked it up and opened it: Brother Xingru: hospital.Immediately came from the town, and when you were extremely hot, the nurse refused to let me in.Again and again, I only look at you from the gap in the door.Your sleeping capacity is reduced, and in the midst of confusion, your spirit is still complete.When I was discharged from the hospital, I sighed all the way. After walking up the mountain for a long time, I picked a bouquet of wild flowers. Naturally, it cannot be compared with the rich roses and beautiful chrysanthemums in front of your bed; I will accompany you to comfort you, watch you recover early, and wish you good health!Zhong Wu He held the piece of paper blankly, and as if he had won a permanent victory, he shed tears. Before going to bed at night, he suddenly said to the nurse quietly, "Push my bed to the window; don't draw down the curtain, I want to see the stars." The nurse obeyed him with a smile. The mood of illness is easy to be sensitive, and tonight, he can't help admiring and admiring the light in the tranquility of the sky. "If there were no flowers on the ground, and no stars in the sky, human beings wouldn't know how lonely they are!" He clasped his hands on his forehead, thinking again.Mu Ran in the space, the stars know that this young man will prove his eternal philosophy in this last night, and they all silently shine brightly... The warm fragrance of flowers all around, blowing in the dark, he meditates It seemed that the night passed in awe. Unexpectedly, the doctor told him that he could be discharged from the hospital tomorrow morning. His friends had prepared a tea party, but they had to come to pick him up tonight.He nodded speechlessly, "It was time to turn around and go out to meet the world, but this bright and quiet time is so short!" In the afternoon of this day, he got up and put down all the curtains on all sides, leaving only the one facing the lake to see the sunset.He took out a roll of paper and a pen, pulled the chair over, and sat in front of the window. Brother Chung Wu: How can a book make me like this.However, your philosophy has shocked my faith. After reading the letter, I have nowhere to go.I was originally a pessimistic person, and I also turned around from world-weariness.In the past two or three years, I seem to have recognized the true meaning of life.For no reason, your hundreds of words flew in, and every word was poured into my suspicious heart.Thank God!I walked in the rain, and during the seven days of illness, I have repeatedly confirmed my original doctrine that is contrary to yours.The me now is already at the end of the kalpa, and the light is gone! Brother Zhong Wu!Let me break it down with you. I received your letter and pondered over it for three days. On the night of the third day, I went out in the rain aimlessly.At that time, I just wanted to relieve the pain on my body, but I didn't expect nature to tease me gently from the moonlight to show me the love of nature! —— In the dark rain, I went up to the pavilion, and suddenly I saw the immortal lights on the other side, and I felt as if I was blessed!Let me tell you the history of this light: there is only a mother and son in a family on the shore of the lake.The mother fell ill overnight, and the son crossed the lake in the middle of the night to ask for a doctor, but fell into the water in the dark and never returned.The heartbroken dying mother made a vow on the sickbed, wishing that from then on, from generation to generation, a lamp would be lit at her window every night to show her son the way back through the tide.Regardless of whether her son returns in soul or body, this lamp will shine forever——this story has passed a hundred years ago, and I also went to the lake overnight and overheard it from a friend. The body of the son has sunk into the mud, and the bone marrow of the mother has turned into dust; who knows that this light of love that has been burning for a hundred years saved me who was about to fall from the cliff that night! Since then, my heart has settled down, and I suddenly feel that the pavilion I am in is also a memorial building of friendship and love—you already know the story, I won’t repeat it—there are traces of love everywhere in this vast world !From then on, I felt like sinking into a wine pool, like jumping into a sea of ​​air, like passing from death to life, and like passing from life to death. After the middle of the night, the scene became more and more wonderful. After the bitter rain, suddenly the moon was full of the sky, and the Creator truly unfolded a picture of "universe love" in front of me. The lake and mountains that night were extremely clear, beautiful, and brilliant. Very, very solemn, how does the Creator know that I am wandering in a wrong way, and specially use wisdom to guide me, confirm me, and make me enlightened?Because of the pyramids, the King of Egypt is recognized, and because of the Great Wall, Emperor Qin is remembered.For people who have never seen it and are like us, we can confirm their work and praise their great achievements without any doubt; what's more, this extremely clean, beautiful, brilliant, and solemn universe lies on the horizon. Now, how dare we say that the world is touched blindly, without the slightest intention of creation? I wander in the love of nature. Under the moonlight, there is a lake and mountain. I am the only one in charge. I almost doubt that I have become a fairy.It wasn't until the cloud and rain came that I went back from the darkness again, and the way back was like a dream.Thank God!This glimpse of light has already reached my nine-year-old face! I am still not satisfied, and spent seven days studying to come to this world of pain and moaning. Xiaoqi knew that I came here for deep thinking. Before he sent me here, he shook my hand preciously and said : "May you have great concentration! Hospitals often make life troublesome, because what you see and hear are nothing but groans and pains." Brother Zhong Wu!Little did they know that the love of mankind can be seen in it!Let's not mention human beings, mentioning human beings makes me cry!As you said, I am a person with a happy and complete life, and I don't know the joys and sorrows of human relationships.I feel very sorry for this layer, and feel the pain beyond words, because I have no experience of pain.Neither comforting you nor criticizing you can convince you.However, even your experience, your so-called twenty-three years of hard life, cannot prove that human beings do not love! Let’s start with the universe, you say, “the world is inhumane, and all things are like dogs”; but why do all the living things in the universe go through the most unfortunate and painful history, never die and become extinct?Why does the blind touch of heaven and earth produce mountains and rivers?Why is Space Blind Touch birthday moon and stars?Why does atmospheric blindness produce rain, snow and clouds in nature, and trees, flowers and plants on the ground?Among countless blind touches, how can it flow so solemnly and brightly? According to you, it is "blind touch", but according to me, it is "chemical education".The cold definition of scientists only knows how the stratum is formed, how the stars move, how frost and dew condense, how plants bloom and bear fruit.Scientists only know what is natural, but poets, philosophers, religionists, and children know why!The world is a series of trains, and the scientist is the driver of the train. He only knows how to use his power to carry all sentient beings and fly away to an infinite future.Poets, philosophers, religionists, and children are like passengers. Although they don't know how to make this giant move forward, while they sit happily facing each other, they have a thorough understanding of their coming and going.Scientists said the definition of dryness and coldness, and they retreated silently; at this time, poets, philosophers, religious figures, and children smiled and walked forward, clasped their hands and kowtowed, and exclaimed with joy: "All this is only for 'love'!" I'm ashamed that I don't have any deep understanding to ignite your dead ashes. I only trace the source, thinking from the first step of my entry into the world, I have already ignited a raging fire in my soul!I was sick for three days and felt that my mother was never away from my side. I was surrounded by endless love. From then on, Brother Zhong Wu deeply admitted that the world is love, and the universe is universal, because no matter who you are, There is a mother who loves him deeply. My environment is different from yours, and you may not understand anything else, but your experience of maternal love in childhood is the same as mine.From this presumption, you can understand the world.On the vast land, not only human beings have mothers?All sentient beings have mothers.With a mother, the seeds of love are planted everywhere in the world.So streams and springs are flowing happily, birds are singing happily, flowers are blooming happily, weeds are blooming happily, animals are running happily, and human beings are living happily.The mothers of all things love each other; the children of all things love each other; in the midst of sympathy and mutual assistance, the earth that carries all living beings keeps moving forward. Yizai!The power of love in the universe has flowed ever-changingly since then! I'm afraid you can't bear to object to this principle. ——You were innocent before the age of ten, and you are ignorant and depraved after the age of ten.Brother Zhong Wu!Dare I say so!In order to support your philosophy of life, that is, the natural love that can shake your theory, you have the heart to not think about it and pursue it. You only use the phrase "almost forgotten" to cover up the past lightly.However, you have used all the power to look back, and you can only say the word "forgot", and dare not directly denounce it as "nothing"!Poor friend, you are defeated! Of course, the natural love I experience is more abundant and dense; but looking at the world, is there anyone who is similar to me?In the last three days of my stay in the hospital, I looked out of the window and saw many parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, and friends coming to visit their concerned people who were ill.Relatives of those who were seriously ill wandered in and out in a daze.Although sorrow and joy are different, but between death and life, human beings cannot be false in the slightest, and love is in the heart, like a response.I saw that anxious face, the way tears fell with the sound, and I suddenly realized that people all over the world have the same heart and the same heart for thousands of years, Brother Zhong Wu! Who knows that the world does not love! Thank you for another book, tie the bell and untie the bell.I know that your philosophy of life is dry and cold, and you and I have only been friends for three days! If you don't come, you won't blame me.But why should you "come from town right now"?Why "sigh all the way when leaving the hospital"? Why "run hard in the autumn wind"?Since you hate false human beings, you will neither be willing nor disdain to do the self-deception of "losing in front of your face and laughing at your back, turning your hands around like clouds and rain".You don't know it when you come, and you don't realize it when you sigh.Poor friend, let me say it for you, you can be hypocritical, but you can't destroy the love for your friends that the Creator bestows on you. Therefore, if the world is blind and does not love, what kindness do you have for the world?You are born alone in the world, the sky does not rain, the earth does not produce grains, floods and wild beasts come to besiege and invade, and the mountain tops and crypts climb and drift, and the world will not fail you.However, you have been safe and sound, with work to do and books to read for twenty-three years.When I say this, I can't help being suspected of cruelty.However, try to think calmly, isn’t there love everywhere in the world, giving people a way to survive, how can your fragile flesh and blood survive the world of swords and knives until today? Taking a step back, the debate has reached this point, and it is like a hand-to-hand combat!Even if the world is like what you said, it is a world where swords and knives are dripping and piercing; and because I still have the rest of my life, it still cannot prove that he does not love at all.As long as I am here, your theory will not be valid as long as I am transformed into a pillar, standing in the turbulent current of this sea of ​​suffering, and singing praises of this incomplete unlove! Take another step back, there is no way to retreat, even if my theory is completely false, your theory is completely true, in order not to make all living beings suffer more, I would rather ask you to abandon your truth and come to mine Fake.Not only you and I should believe in this, but we should also loudly persuade all sentient beings to believe in this. my friend!Your theory is not completely discardable. The selfish institutional class has indeed laid a solid foundation in human beings.However, all kinds of things come from not loving.Individuals, groups, and countries that slash love and cruelty are encouraging them to run towards the goal of destroying the world.And after you shed blood and tears, you only retreated to the doctrine of rice bowls, and among the hypocritical and cruel human beings, you only wanted to save yourself from starvation and thirst. This is the cowardly thing you should do! Let's join hands, young and promising friends!Wishing to shed blood and tears with you, while shouldering the banner of love, and lead the human beings who "smile face-to-face and laugh at the back, turning hands into clouds and rain with hands", on this thorny road of life, back to the first place where the world began. Step up! That's all I have to say!You try to confirm it in your heart in the first step, and you can know that it is true and there is not even a half of falsehood.The thoughts of the seven days have filtered through the night of autumn rain, the night of autumn wind shaking the window, the night of starry sky, the night of bright moon in the sky, the night of dreams and shadows, and the night of reading letters to flowers.Self-questioning and self-answering, self-proving and self-doubting, ups and downs of emotions, just got this, please don't take it as self-deceiving words! Now to answer your side question, "I'd Rather Love the People of the World" was written on a whim three years ago.I didn't know when Xiaoqi took it, so I showed it to you. This is something I feel very sad and sorry for.That article is not written, nor is it a poem—it is my misfortune, it is the misfortune of the world—may you forget it.As for the understanding of me, everyone is different, so it is not surprising, even I have never understood myself very well.I'm just the heart of a child, laughing and laughing.Since you know me from the aspect of being lively and easy, please know me from this aspect to the end. Going back to school tomorrow, hope to see you soon!star like At this time, the lake surface was already glowing with rays of sunshine—he quietly folded up these few pieces of paper and put them in his bag, his eyes pierced through the glow. The setting sun was about to go down, and it was about to come up from the end of a tree in front of his house in the eastern hemisphere, and see all his dear ones!He stared at the end of the day, he would be busy again tomorrow, and he decided to finish writing his sister's letter at this time: younger sister: I was sick for seven days, and now I have fully recovered, and I will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow.I haven't written a letter during my illness. I don't want to tire my parents and sister with my current minor illness, and worry about the future tens of thousands of miles away. Reread your letter, sister!My heart is broken.All my life I hate such overused terms as "heartbreak" and "heartbreak", but for the sake of my intuition and the great love that runs through the world, I refuse to go against my will, and I don't hesitate to break the old rules of twenty years, and now I use it once. ! It is true that my mother does not belong to me alone, and to Xuanli, it does not belong to the two of us, but to everyone in the world.You don't allow me to touch her casually, sister, I am willing to be a prisoner, you are a jailer, I am willing to submit to your authority, and take your words as the golden rule, which is justified!The past cannot be remonstrated, and when I mention it, I will burst into tears of regret, but what is my last resort! "Going to the voice of the country and mourning", my uncle accused me of being too unmanly, why didn't I also feel ashamed?However, my going to the country was not exile or exile. It was my own willingness to go to study.On the day of boarding the boat in white clothes like snow, the senders all returned from the cliff, and I never shed a single tear!I read my uncle's words "Going to Guogang for three months" over and over again, and I understand myself better.It shows that I didn't like to write this kind of words at first. After I went to the country, I was sad.However, my life before going to the country and my life after going to the country have only changed a little or two at most. The only difference is that I left my parents. Only in this way can this manliness be tossed with value, tossed to be worthy of the universe, Baby God.parents! I am very fortunate that I have been a strong man in all things for the past twenty years, and I cherish this section of spirit and throw it away for you! For the sake of my parents, I lost my masculinity.Sister, I hope that all men in the world will throw away this period of courage!When I made this amazing cry, I could hear the praise of the gods, and I could see everything in the world, bowing my head at my feet! Although it is possible to break the heart and gallbladder, after all, as you said, it should not make parents sad.Every time I write a letter, I am always very cautious, but my true temperament is like a flood, and it often does not pass my pen. I hate myself for not being able to control it! ——I want to say that I am homesick, and the writing is so true that my parents must have been deeply touched.If you say that I don't want to go home, my parents must not believe it, or they will doubt me behind the scenes, which is somewhat sentimental.I paused and hesitated a few times, and finally wrote some clichés about Chen Xiang's homesickness because of his wandering son. How could my heart turn so many times before?You just think that I will do whatever I want, but who knows my painstaking efforts?Maybe only my mother can know. I read her letters repeatedly, and saw that her words and sentences were often contradictory and far-fetched. I found traces of the same experience as mine everywhere. The words that comforted me contained infinite sadness The mood, the most intimate words, are actually spoken to the most indifferent point.However, sister, after all, we can't hide it from each other. I know my mother, and my mother knows me. Both of them can guess it! The day before yesterday I was lying down while reading "Drinking Water Ci"; I saw the sentences "Care about the depth of the characters!" and "Can't help but related to hard work?"How can there be a word in the profound part of the poems of the ancients?But when applied to nature, I am the first person! In the most beautiful environment, I miss my dearest people from time to time, and fragmentary lyric words are produced involuntarily.The sad emotions moved from my heart to the paper, and of course I felt that the accumulated heart was relieved.And when it was moved from the paper to the hearts of the parents, another round of heartfelt accumulations arose.In front of my smart and upright sister, I know that there is nothing wrong with my crime, and I have nothing to say. From now on, I only hope you will allow me to change my past! You may even want to say that I am too tender, how would you know that the letter from a friend that was placed on the table at the same time as yours also mentioned that people criticized me for being lonely!Do I have a dual personality?I'm just me, following what others say, whether it's an attack or a compliment, I just bow my head and ignore it.I accept any kind of criticism silently. I think I am humble, but in my attitude of disregard, people say I am proud. But I don't beg people's forgiveness!天文家抬头看着天行走，他神移目夺于天上的日月星辰，他看不见听不见人世间的一切，在他茫然仰天的步履之中，或许在人间路上，冲撞践踏了路人，起了路人的怨怼，然而专注的他，又岂…… 我应许你的琴儿，自然不至于失约。你的芳辰近了！ 我祝你在那天晨光晴朗，花香鸟语之中，巾帔飘扬的拜过双亲之后，转身便来开视你万里外的哥哥珍重赠送的礼物！妹妹，我如和你一般具有音乐的天才，则退隐的时间内，更不嫌寂寞了。病中七日，日日不同，夜夜不同，度尽了星月风雨。我心中无限柔静与悲哀的意绪，要托与琴丝。而自去国后，就没有像你的这么一个人，能低头舒腕，在我窗前挥奏！天下家人骨肉的结合，完全的何止千万？而我们的家庭，对于我，似乎特别的自然而奇妙，然而也……只换了“别离”两字！不许再说了，上帝助我！我须挥去额前的幻想，结束了缥缈的生涯，奋然转身，迎接工作…… 的确，斜阳已成碧，要再写时也看不见了。他猛然的站起来，左手握着右腕，低头看着几上没有写完的信，似乎想续下去，——一转念，下了决心，忽然将手中的一枝金管的笔，激箭似的从窗内掷将出去。自己惊觉时，已自太晚！那枝数年来助他发挥思想的笔儿，在一逝不返的空间路上，闪闪的射出留恋的金光之后，便惊鸿似的无声的飞入湖里，漾起了几圈溶溶的波纹—— 他最后的写不出的文字，已宛转萦回的写在水上了！波纹渐渐平了，化入湖水。他仍痴立窗前不动。湖上被碧霞上下遮住的一抹夕阳，作意的粲然凄艳。霞光中，一辆敞篷的汽车，绕着湖岸，对着他缓驰而来。车上仿佛坐满了人，和司机并坐，向着楼窗挥手的黑发的青年，似乎便是孝起。 “生命路上英勇的同伴，已从明光中携手来迎接了！”——他忽然如受日的雪人一般，无力的坐了下去，双手抱着头儿，起了无名的呜咽。 竟于一九二四年一月，青山大风雨之夕。 集《往事》，１９３０年１月开明书店初版。 )