Chapter 3 A Chinese woman living in Paris

My name is Chen Yu, and I am 26 years old.It turned out that I came to Paris by accident (life is full of accidents).I was working as a receptionist in a hotel six years ago, and that's how I met Francesca.Franzia is nothing more than a French man who works as a cashier at Credit Cyonais.Within two weeks, Franzia and I were married.Now I don't remember much about the mood when I got married, anyway, I just did one thing.Then I went to Paris; I lived in the 19th arrondissement.A year later I divorced Franzia, and I don't remember much about the divorce now.I just remember that when I first divorced, I was so embarrassed looking for a house everywhere. When I found a house, I found a job in a restaurant in the 12th arrondissement, and then I lived in Paris. The days were very slow, almost every day, and I didn’t feel old.

I am 26 years old.My name is Chen Yu.I came to Paris...it was just an accident, just like when I met Ye Xixi, it was also a very accident (life is full of accidents). I met Ye Xixi at the automatic laundry.There are many Asians in Paris, and no one dares to join Shanshan rashly.Anyway, in such a big city, anything can happen.I paid attention to Ye Xixi, because she was reading a Chinese book with her head down there.The hair is very thin, which is rare for oriental women.It was just her and me in the laundry.I also spread out the Chinese newspaper and read the Hong Kong news. The rumbling of the washing machine was extremely monotonous and boring, so people's breathing and the movement of hair could be heard clearly.This woman, and her Chinese book, became very real.I couldn't help but look up at her more, and she looked at me too.I smiled: "Hello." She nodded and said: "Hello."

This is how I know Ye Xixi. Ye Xixi is in the thirteenth grade of chemical engineering in Paris.French universities are in a mess, and everything is not accurate.Ye Xixi is like many Chinese women living in Paris, dawdling around.And my relationship with Ye Xixi started from eating, and the Chinese living outside always eat. Ye Xixi came to our restaurant to eat, and ordered a beggar's chicken by himself, and drank two large beers, until he was drunk.When she ordered the third bottle, I couldn't help but persuade her, "That's it. Let's drink together another day. I don't worry about you drinking alone." She smiled and said, "Okay." Then I greeted other guests.Looking back at Ye Xixi, she looked at the street scene and shed two lines of tears.I served her a third bottle of beer and said, "Wait until I get off work." She also smiled and said, "Okay."

It's midnight when I get off work.Ye Xixi and I were walking along the streets.The night in Paris is extremely blue and deep, and there is a moon in that night, very light and light, silent and colorless, as pale as a face.Ye Xixi didn't make a sound, and it's hard for me to say, the sound of their shoes was so loud that when we reached the Seine River, I asked, "Would you like to take a walk by the river?" She didn't agree, and turned to me with a smile. Under the color, her smile, almost unapproachable, made me feel a little cold.Suddenly there was a sound of "Peng", and Ye Xixi disappeared.I stood on the bridge and looked down, only the bottomless river, as black as night.I don't know what to do.At this time, I suddenly remembered the feeling of just getting divorced, and suddenly felt miserable and belatedly miserable.I just stood on the bridge and waited, not sure what to wait for, as if I was a little tired. ,

After a while, someone called me: "Chen Yu." I turned my head, and it was Ye Xixi who was drenched all over, and she pulled her hair.Said: "I live in a room on the top floor, I haven't showered for a long time; it's very good to take a bath in the Seine River." I couldn't help asking: "Xinxi, how old are you this year?" She replied: "22." I laughed: " At this age, doing these things makes me a bit older." She smiled: "I'm a late bloomer." I said: "I think you are too." We are the last bus home.Someone in the truck vomited.Paris is always like this, there is always a lot of frustration.I asked: "Ye Xixi, how long have you been here?" She replied: "Four months and five days." I asked: "Are you used to it?" She still smiled and said: "Ask that drunk person who vomited Are you used to it?” I just said, “It’ll be fine soon.” She lowered her head and said, “It’s extremely lonely to think about that.” I said, “Everyone is the same, it’s time to stop.” I want to be in Xuete Lay transfer.We parted at Chesterley Station, she lived in the 94th arrondissement, Saint-Monet.We wave goodbye.When I was leaving, I turned my head to look at her, she was walking with a black man, with fine black hair, she was clearly an oriental woman, and she looked very fragile.I always feel that it is extremely wrong, and I can't tell what is unreasonable.As if life shouldn't be like this, but I can't think of a better way, I still rush to walk, the last bus, if I can't catch it, there will be no more.It's really a bit of a reminder of the years, and I'm not a person who is easily touched.I have been in Paris for six years, and after going through these ups and downs, I found that feeling is actually a luxury.But that night, I still felt a little emotional, I don't know if it was because of Ye Xixi.

Ye Xixi came to me later, asking for my help.If she wants to apply for a residence permit, she needs a guarantee from a French citizen.Good girl, if you buy a dozen pink roses at the local station for 20 francs, you will coax me.I was busy that day, so I didn't greet her very much. I put roses on her desk, while she drank Riley scented tea and read a novel by Robert Kee Yeh, she occasionally raised her head and smiled, as if very proud.My work seemed to be very easy that day. When I got off work, she waited for me at the door first, with her boots kicked high. When she saw me, she called me: "Sister." She sprinkled rose petals all over my body, and there was a faint fragrance .It had just snowed before night, and the air was clean, so I said, "Let's go." The two hurried away.

She bought dumpling wrappers, lean meat, and cabbage, and bundled her hair up to make dumplings at my residence. I was packing up the few photos and letters left by Franzia, and threw them away. Leave too many notes.Seeing it carefully, she frowned and said, "Why did you marry this man?" I shook my head, "Why did you come to Paris?" She laughed: "Come and learn how to make dumplings." Then she added in a low voice: "Shou Torture." I had no choice but to refrain from answering.It is because each has its own causes and consequences, so there is no need to elaborate.

The dumplings were steaming hot, and the two of them sat opposite each other, with hazy eyes, as if they were getting closer.She ate a large bowl, and suddenly said: "I never ate Chinese food before." I laughed: "Things always happen after loss..." She stopped her chopsticks for a long time and said nothing, the heat cooled down and turned into small water, Her face, almost quietly dripping.I said, "Why do you need to come so far away? It's the same everywhere anyway." Then she moved her chopsticks slowly and said, "I came here because I didn't know what I was going to grab; .” I said: “Come and eat.” She smiled: “Maybe.” The two ate up a large bowl of dumplings.Really edible.

We went to the movies a few more times afterward.When the weather is nice, we will take a walk in the street.Xixi likes the group of Mexicans performing arts in the Pompidou Center Square the most.Paris is such a festive city, with pigeons flying, passers-by dressed beautifully, and singing and dancing everywhere.Xixi is sometimes very happy, and sometimes seems very troubled.Sometimes smiling, sometimes with tears in the corners of my eyes.Sometimes I doubt my eyes because of her suspense.Once, after drinking coffee, we went to the Plaza Pontos to see the Mexicans.A Mexican woman, sick or not, was sitting behind the group of musicians playing guitar and flute, biting her lips and weeping.Looking carefully, I suddenly said: "Sister, I'm afraid I won't live long." I was about to say: "I'm afraid you are too." Turning to look at her, she turned her face up, her lips were slightly parted, and she was breathing hard.At this moment, I was very frightened, and held her hand tightly, as if I was about to pull her back. At that moment, I thought about my future.After I came to Paris, I learned not to think much about the future.Anyway, there is no future to speak of, so don't think about it.When I told Xixi like this, she lowered her head and said, "That's right."

Later, Xixi didn't come to see me for a while.I waited for a letter to her, and she didn't reply.Her whole body seemed to disappear.It has been snowing heavily in Paris for many consecutive days, everyone is huddled indoors, and the business of restaurants is also deserted.The whole world seemed much smaller; no one had ever existed.Sometimes when the whole restaurant is empty, I just sit and smoke a cigarette, and find that the cigarette is blue and has a very pungent and pungent smell.Think quietly.It turned out that this was the table where Xi Xichang was sitting and waiting for me, and I couldn't help but feel a little dazed.

When Xixi came to look for me again, she was thinner and weaker.She gently tugged at my sleeve and said, "Sister, can you find me a job? I'm bankrupt." I couldn't help shaking my head: "You don't have a work permit, so you can only work as an Au Pair." She lost her voice : "Why should I go so far to take care of someone else's children, will I fall to that point?" I smiled: "I work more than ten hours a day, Ye Xixi, what do you think Paris is a good place?" Give her a hundred francs.She took it and held the two banknotes tightly. I pressed her hand and said, "Give it back to me slowly in the future." She put the banknotes back into my hand and said, "I don't want it anymore." I couldn't help but say, "Why do you have to be brave?" She raised her head, smiled like this, and said, "I won't talk about this, we haven't seen each other for a long time, let's go out for a walk." I asked for an afternoon's leave, took my coat and left. It was snowing heavily, and it was so cold that we both shivered.She pulled me, "to where I live." We arrived in District 94.Jiupi District is extremely quiet, and the big trees on both sides of the road are covered with snowflakes.I said: "Actually, this city is very beautiful." She replied: "I have nothing to do." I couldn't help but reach out to help her, she turned to me and smiled, and she was a bit unapproachable, so I unconsciously quickened my pace. Xixi lives on Morris Road, because of the dense trees, it is a bit dark.Her house is on the top floor.Parisian houses are full of winding stairs, climb to the top.Man has lost all direction.She leaned against the door for a little panting, her face was pale, and her hands were trembling when she opened the door with the key. I took the key, closed the door for her, and said with a frown, "You might as well go back to Hong Kong. This place is not a place to keep people." She gently Caressing the wall, she said, "Hong Kong won't last long." I said, "At least I have relatives." She turned around and said, "Come in." The room was very messy, with dried petals, bread crumbs, old clothes, torn pages, and words everywhere.She was plugging in the electric stove, boiling water.There was a sudden "pat" and a fire flashed in front of her face. She laughed, "It's always like this. I picked up this stove on the street. It's always leaking electricity." I sat on her bed casually, and found that the pages scattered on the bed were textbooks.I picked it up and read it, and she wrote a letter on the page, titled "Zhan Keming".I couldn't read any further, so I hurriedly put down the paper.When she saw it, she said, "I haven't been to school for two months. At this age, I can't even read the books." I couldn't help standing up and walking to the window.Watching the slight ups and downs of Paris under my feet, it spreads out.It was mid-afternoon, and the sky in Paris was dark, with no end in sight.I drank hot water and asked, "Ye Xixi, what's the matter?" She approached me and said softly, "I often stand here looking at the scenery, and sometimes I ask such questions." She suddenly pushed Open the window, a gust of cold wind blows, I can't help shivering.She closed the window and said, "Sometimes when the wind blows, I won't even ask questions." The two of us stood quietly in front of the window, the boiling water was steaming, and we all fell silent.At this moment, I have a kind of understanding in my heart, I can't explain it clearly, it's just a scene where the sun is far away and nothing is done.After a long time, we said, "Xixi, you scare me." She leaned gently on my shoulder, her hair very thin.I said, "Well, whatever, A day is a day, live as long as you can. "She didn't move, but her body was still slightly warm. I felt very uncomfortable suddenly, thinking: It's not worth it. So I told her, "I'm going back to work." "She said: "Okay. "I wanted to go downstairs to see me off. I looked at her, and gave her two hundred francs at the door, and left in a hurry. She didn't come with me. Looking back at her, she was standing at the door with two hundred francs in her hand. , with a naive look. I raised my hand to tell her to go back. After a moment of hesitation, she slowly disappeared behind the door and closed the door. My heart suddenly trembled, as if parting from life and death. I was extremely disturbed and wanted to go back to see her , Think about it, forget it. I can’t do anything, it’s not easy to let myself live a good life. When I went down the stairs, the snow was getting thicker and thicker. I found that I left a Li Ziqing’s leather glove on the thin I didn't go back to get the gloves back, Tian probably avoided it on purpose. Somehow, since I divorced Frasia, I feel faintly dangerous when I get close to people. I'm getting old, after all, I don't have much energy In the past, I tried my best to be as stable as possible, so I gradually forgot about Ye Xixi. The weather in Paris is a bit abnormal this year. It's April and it's still snowing.I still wore Li Ziqing's leather glove and went to the post office to post letters.Two hands, one cold and the other warm, very strangely caring, once you get used to it, it’s actually nothing, just like many other things in life, in the end, it’s nothing.A glove will do, too.I was thinking about this, when I suddenly caught a glimpse of the familiar color and hair of another Li Ziqing's glove.I couldn't help blurting out: "Thin! Thin!" She turned her face slowly, and I fell silent immediately.Her face was slightly lavender, her lips were cracked and bleeding, and her eyes were a pair of ragged pears, the shape of which was unclear; only her thin hair was draped like jasmine willows.I couldn't help pulling her: "Xixi, why did you end up here?" Her lips moved, but there was no sound. I shook her: "Are you sick? Do you have insurance? I will accompany you to see a doctor." She still smiled like this Once, so weak, you can't laugh.The post office clerk was a little impatient and called her: "Au Suivant." I could only say Excusez Moi, and pulled her away. She couldn't even keep her feet steady, and she leaned on me.The letter fell to the ground, and I stepped on a neat smudge, and picked it up for her, and the recipient was that Zhan Keming again.Returning her, she casually threw the letter into the trash can.I said, "Let's go to the coffee shop." She stopped again, pointed to the trash can, and said, "Sister, the letter." I leaned over to the trash can, retrieved the letter and returned it to her.She crumpled up the letter and put it carefully in the inner pocket of the coat, and I couldn't help but sigh.She said in a low voice: "Sister, I'm sorry." I lifted her arm and said, "You are only sorry for yourself." She replied: "I am useless." I said loudly: " You asked for it." Pulled her into the coffee shop, ordered a cup of hot chocolate for her, and I drank a double Expresso myself and smoked it hard.Xixi sat quietly, as delicate as a stone statue, but without any expression, not even distinguishing between sorrow and joy, I couldn't help reaching out and gently stroked her face.She lowered her eyes.A drop of tear falls on my hand, just one drop, and then it's gone.I didn't wipe it away, just let the tears crawl gently between my fingers.Those tears are extremely precious and considerate, as if they are my own eyes.I haven't shed a tear for years.At this moment, I missed the feeling of crying, so I simply closed my eyes and said: "Elder Sister." I replied: "I am here." She said again: "Eldest Sister." I also replied: "I am here." She then Said: "It hurts." I let her go and said: "Thin, everyone is the same." She bit her lower lip tightly, and a drop of blood trickled out from under her teeth.I said, "I see that you are in more pain than others." I took out a handkerchief and wiped the blood under her lips, "It's just that you expressed it better, Ye Xixi." I folded the handkerchief and said nothing, Just smoke quietly.Pedestrians pass by in a hurry outside the street, and the scenery from the window is also silent.I looked back carefully, she just looked out of the street, eyes like a blind person.I said, "Come to my place tonight, don't go back. If you're alone, thinking wildly, something will happen." She didn't answer.I settled the bill and helped her to leave. Walking slowly, like an old man who has seen through Paris.I was a little impatient, looked up, the sky fell, and it would be dark when it was dark.The shops closed one after another, and Xixi suddenly woke up like a dream, and said, "Sister, go shopping." Pulled me into Monoprix.Department stores are crowded with people, which is a bit of a fake Chinese people's dying years.Slightly turn left and turn right, stop in front of the men's and women's goods shelf, and choose a razor.I was angry, no matter what, I waited for her at the door.When she came out, she put her hands in the coat pockets, the coat collar was turned up high, and her hair was tied up with a scarf. She smiled slightly, suddenly getting a little airy.I went up to meet her and gave her a hug. She smiled: "Sister, let's go buy some wine. Have fish, matcha and crab tonight, okay?" ..." I stopped.I originally wanted to say "eat it and break up", but for some reason, at that time, I remembered that "in the past, we gathered together with one porridge, and now we get together after one porridge. The text of the book is already a book I read more than ten years ago.But I remembered the first time I came to our restaurant to eat Beggar Chicken. ...seems a little different.At that time, she wept quietly...but those tears seemed to be warmer, and I couldn't help hugging her shoulder tightly.In such a big city, a person sinks, really silently and without light.Slightly folding my coat collar, as thin as a dragonfly, no, it’s getting dark, and the market is about to close.We have to be fast.I let go of Xixi and hurried forward. In the evening, he drank some wine carefully, and his face was a little rosy.Talking about her hideous landlady, those impeccably dressed and bumbling old French ladies, is enough to make us laugh all night.She had a good appetite, and each of them ate a dozen oysters and a large crab.I don't eat a lot, but just drink, and I'm a bit ostentatious.Xixi was still clamoring to toast with me, but I said he was having a headache.She also had flushed cheeks, looked at me sideways, and said, "Sister, it's rare to meet you here. Sister, everything is rare at this time and this place, let's have a drink." I had to say, "Okay." She Added another sentence: "It's rare to come and live like this." I couldn't help saying: "Paris is just one of the big cities. You still have a lot of experience in the future." She raised her head and drank the wine.Said: "It's the same everywhere, it doesn't matter anymore." I also drank the wine: "What I'm saying is, it's rare for you to understand yourself, so you can let things go a little bit." "Sister. It's too late." I squatted down and turned to get the vacuum cleaner broom, persuading her: "You're still so self-willed, go take a shower and go to bed early." I squatted under the table and when cleaning the glass, I noticed that Stepping on the glass, the feet are covered with blood.In a hurry, I hugged her feet and burst into two tears.Why bother, life is no big deal.I slowly picked out the glass for her and washed it with clean water.After putting on a bandage, after doing so much work, I woke up from the drunkenness.And Xixi didn't move, just smiled slightly, and I adjusted the hot water and towels for her, and urged her to take a bath, and she went quietly.I listened to the monotonous and empty sound of water repeated over and over again, like a kind of helplessness and complaint to life, I felt very tired and fell asleep unconsciously. It was pitch black when I woke up, and there was a very faint moon outside the window, so I thought about carefully turning off the lights.I walked out of the living room and found that the cups, plates, knives and forks had been tidied away.The moonlight shone obliquely through the white gauze, the sky was barren, and there was clearly no one there.I walked into the bathroom and found that the towels were neatly folded. When I reached out, the bathrobe was still wet, and there were traces of people.But everything was in the past, I slowly walked back to the living room, stood in front of the window, suddenly felt that the room was very empty, I suspected that the details were just an illusion of mine.Paris is nothing but an illusion.Maybe I'm still working as a receptionist in a hotel with my eyes open.There are many hopes for the future... I light a cigarette and get close to the tiny, dark red heat.After I came to Paris, I started to smoke, and during the time of one cigarette, I was comforted.After smoking a cigarette, I turned on the light, washed my face and brushed my teeth, and went to bed.I can forget about Ye Xixi from then on. Two days later, I got a call.The police station asked me to go to the roof room of a building in San Morty, District 94. My name, phone number, and address are on the scene. I may be an important witness, and there are Chinese characters left on the scene. I'd better be able to Go and translate for them.I put down the phone and went. When I got to the corner of the street, I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to bring my scarf and gloves. But I stopped for a while and realized that it was not cold at all. Spring had come at some point. It was almost dusk when we arrived in District 94.Paris is as quiet and beautiful as autumn, and the air is so clear that it can be knocked loudly.I have forgotten the correct address in detail, and I am always going around in circles, back and forth.Looking for bits and pieces of memory.As I walked, it became dark, and I started to climb the wooden stairs again, turning around, the stairs lights were on, and then it was dark again.Because of this, I felt a little bit in a trance, and I knew I wouldn't see Xixi again. Two policemen were waiting for me on the stairs on the sixth floor. A fat woman was poking around and squeezing her body.When the policeman saw me, he shook hands and beckoned me to go in.I hesitated a little, but still raised my head and went in. The room is still messy, dried petals, biscuit crumbs, clothes, textbooks, stationery.The police came over, handed me a bloodstained razor, and asked if I had seen the object.I replied: "Yes." Then he handed over a residence permit and asked me if I knew this woman.I said, "Yes, her name is Ye Xixi." The policeman motioned me to approach the bed.He lifted the blanket, and a smell of foul smell and rancidity hit his face, his face was pale, but his expression was very peaceful, half of his face was covered by a handful of fine hair.I asked, "Can I touch her?" The man nodded.I touched her face and slowly brushed her hair back.Such fine hair as silk.around her neck.There was a deep brown wound, the blood had dried up, and a large lump was congealed, and it was cold to the touch.I took out a handkerchief, gently covered her fatal wound, then pulled the blanket, and said to the policeman: "Yes, she is my friend Ye Xixi. How can I help you? At this time, several black men in uniforms hurried in, pulling her thin hair casually, and another quickly dragged her into a big black bag.Then he pulled hard and pulled it out.When going down the stairs, I heard thin heads, whirring against each step.I couldn't help biting my lower lip, listening to it go away.The thin, beautiful and delicate face, and the silky hair are nothing but such an end in the end.Maybe they will take off her clothes casually, and cut open her spleen and stomach... That body without dignity has nothing to do with Xixi. The police man asked me to go back to the police station.I said I'd rather stay on site if I could.He didn't force it, and started to ask me a lot of detailed questions about family, friends, studies, etc. In fact, my knowledge was limited.But I still answered one by one.Finally he handed over a shoebox.It was lined with letters, and he asked me if I could translate for them.As soon as I opened it, I found that these were all unsent letters. The addressee was "Zhan Fanming", and every letter was sealed and stamped.I was holding a letter, and suddenly realized that people should not have too many emotions.I just tore up the letter lightly and told them: I have the habit of collecting envelopes and stamps, and the man then handed me a piece of paper, saying that I found it from the desk, with only a few simple Chinese characters , as if it was a letter just started, I took a look, and there were thin and untidy words on it: "Zhan, now I know, what I got in life" is not finished, there is no punctuation or pause, I can't see that she still has something to say. I have nothing to say, so straightforward and suspenseful, whether this is an indictment of life or enlightenment (now I know, what life has gained), I can't help but wonder, now I know, what life has gained... Later, I went back to the police station with them, and helped them find their family members, arrange funeral arrangements, and so on.After hearing the news, the family members didn't react much. They just gave way, and no one wanted to come to France to do business.After a person dies, he still has to bother others. After all, it's too unclean.I can't understand it carefully, imagining death is too beautiful, so that I still use a man's razor... probably a bit like killing love.For a woman like Xixi, Shui Yuan seems to be acting in a European movie.However, movies can be played again and again, people can only talk once, good or bad, live once, I am actually a little angry.In the police station, I smoked one after another, and when the work was over, my eyes were stinging, my lips were chapped, and when I left the police station, my steps were frivolous.The man made me a cup of espresso, I was not polite, drank it all in one gulp, said Satute to each other, and left, feeling a bit like a night of suffering, almost reluctant to give up. Stepping out of the police station, it was early morning.I shivered, visibly feeling the presence of the body.To go home, I have to change trains at Shelley, and in the tunnel of trains that turn back and forth, the sound of guitars and flutes can be faintly heard.After turning a few corners, I saw some black Mexicans singing and dancing.I stood there, looking at the woman shaking the drum, and vaguely remembered it.She opened her mouth and frowned, remembering one by one, it was me and Xixi who met the crying Mexican woman outside the Pompidou Square.But here she is now, singing and dancing, with long hair and lush like a forest.When she saw it, she gave me a bright smile, and I put down the ten francs, and she called out.Dance more vigorously.I walked slowly down to the station, and I heard bursts of joy.Coming out of the ground, the sun has risen, the fog has receded, and there is a touch of warmth.The pigeons were looking for food, and they stopped at my feet. When I took a step, a group of pigeons flew away.I looked up, and I saw fresh green on the top of the tree, and the Alamans sweeping the leaves told me Bonjour.One night passes, the world starts again, and it doesn't necessarily stop for anyone.In such a big city, the destruction of one person is nothing at all.I gently hugged my arms, feeling that this kind of accidental existence is very precious.I stopped and looked up to the sun, but there was a slight gentle touch on the tip of my hand.Looking down, it turned out that there was a strand of hair sticking to the sleeve. It was thin and long, and it was clearly not my hair.I picked up my hair casually (heh, her hair is as thin as silk), and let it go lightly, and the hair fell with the wind, and I don't know where it went.Human existence is nothing more than this.I suddenly wanted to go back to Hong Kong, a place I hadn't thought about for six years.That place was small and noisy, with many people pushing each other to grow...Because it is small, the existence of people is more real.I made up my mind to find out the price of the air ticket tomorrow. My name is Chen Yu and I am 26 years old.I met Ye Xixi by chance, and made a decision by chance.Life is full of accidents. It is only now that I realize that what I get in life... nothing more than that, all kinds of accidents.