Chapter 7 housewife

We live five miles away from Dianchi Lake.Although it is called Taoyuan, there are only three non-blossoming small peach trees in the narrow and long courtyard dotted the scenery.There is also a Cosmos planted in the courtyard, with dense algae-shaped leaves and dry leaves. When it blooms in late summer, there are red and white flowers on the top, which are as intricate as brocade.Although the peach tree does not bloom, poisonous moths come to lay eggs every dusk from May onwards, and after two or three days, the branches are full of beautiful and poisonous caterpillars.To burn the caterpillars, cheers and fires arouse the children's enthusiasm for service, and reconcile the monotony and silence of rural life.

There are dozens of new-style thatched houses in the village, scattered in rows at the foot of the two mountains. When the rainy season comes, most of the roofs are in disrepair, and one or two of each house must leak.The one we use as a kitchen is cracked at the joints of the sloping beams and cannot be repaired, and whenever it rains heavily, a small waterfall hangs in the air.This incident happened during the day and it was easy to deal with it, and there was no time to change the bucket.If it rains in the middle of the night, you and the housewife have to take turns getting up to catch it.A little negligence in the kitchen turned it into a pool, and some frogs climbed up the cupboards and climbed the lid of the pot.It turns out that this cute creature has already used it as an indoor swimming pool, so it can't help but overwhelm the host!The two rooms that do not leak rain, the eaves of the house are too shallow, and the ground is loose and floating, so the ditch in front of the door can often be dammed.In the rainy season, the interior is still often damp and moldy.Housewives and children, as a rule, must use a shovel to clean up after meals, and sometimes guests have to participate.In July and August, when the rainy season is the worst, every night you can hear the muffled sound of earthen walls pouring down from far and near the village, just like the bombing of enemy planes at another time.The family of four estimated the direction and frequency of the sound and waited for dawn.Because in case of misfortune, this kind of collapse will happen in this hospital at any time!

But all of this has become the past, as if it is far away from the current life.The war is over and the rainy season is almost over.We still live in this small village, still living an extremely simple life, waiting for the New Year, waiting to return to Peiping. It has been sunny for several days, and the red and white cosmos in the small courtyard are shining brightly in the bright sunlight. When there is a breeze from the Dianchi Lake, they sway gently in the breeze, and they seem to express the joy of life to people. Although temporarily, real forever.In order to keep this splendor and the bright sky and green vegetation unique to southern China in the family's impression, it is hoped that it will be expressed in the text at another time.When the family had dinner on the small table and stool in front of the grass and flowers, the caterpillars and frogs talked about how the woody flowers extending half a mile along the road in front of the house and the two-foot-tall green cactus behind the house were brought back to Peking for exhibition. , expanded and strengthened the children's fantasy of "tomorrow", and the monotony of rural life in the past eight years, the hardships and fatigue in daily life were all relieved by laughter.

On the afternoon of September 8, the housewife had attended two classes and came back from school with chalk dust all over her body. She walked into the kitchen without putting down her books.Seeing that the fire has been lit, the dishes have been washed, the rice has been washed, and everything is ready, I feel very comfortable in my heart, but I deliberately complained and said: "Second brother, you are here to take care of things again, and you have to stop work for an excuse to not write your article." , you can’t wash the dishes well, and you don’t pick the stones carefully when you wash the rice, and you help me instead. Let me do these things, save some trouble!”

I'm at my desk planning a job to start.I understood what those words meant, and there was gratitude in my complaints, so I replied: "So someone calls me a 'symbolist' and I never argue. He may be referring to people, not articles. However, "Writing is like a person" is also a mother Huhu.I'm afraid you are too tired!There are endless things to do all day long, such as going to class, doing laundry, cooking, sewing, buying shoes, and so on.Even if I can sit at the table and lift a brush that weighs three cents and two cents, and write articles calmly, what is the significance of writing this article?If things are shared a little bit, I feel more at ease and my life is more economical. "

"Don't worry, today is the eighth, and Friday is here again, I'm really uneasy! At that time, I have to worry about it for you, and life is really uneconomical! " "You mentioned the date, but it caused me another problem." "But it seems that many of your articles have only one title and no more content." "If you have a topic, it's easy to handle! It must be completed tonight, it is very important, more important than anything else. I have to fight!" The last thing to say is an old saying that has been said for eight years.Whenever a difficulty comes and needs to be overcome, just talk about it and increase your resistance and adaptability.The difference is that sometimes it is said sadly, indignantly and bitterly, and sometimes it is said lightly and happily.

After the end of the Anti-Japanese War, the two impressions of the eight years before and after are still clearly embedded in my memory.One is the first bombing of Nanyuan in Beiping. Twenty-seven enemy planes flew over the city in the early morning light rain.One is the night of Victory and Peace, when Peter, a 60-year-old Canadian foreigner living in Taoyuan, got the news, he frantically knocked on the enamel basin and reported the situation all over the village. As for the gap between the two impressions, it can be filled with the death and displacement of thousands of people, the destruction of countless capitals and cities, the ravages and destruction of the ideals and dreams of thousands of people, and the alternation of gains and losses of thousands of sorrows and joys.That is, personally speaking, it is hard to say! ...

Although I tried my best to avoid thinking about reviewing all the past life, I remembered an article titled "Housewife", which was written exactly ten years ago. On the same day, the bright and bright sunshine unique to autumn in the north is reflected on a stack of white paper through the fine gauze in the fields, in the courtyard, and between the windows.The crabapple fruits in the courtyard were already red, and occasionally one or two fell to the ground without wind, making a small blunt sound.The fragrance of hosta flowers is sent from a corner of the courtyard.The little housewife brought her one-year-old child, and talked with the old nanny from her hometown in the big ogonia tree in the courtyard, and told the story of being a bride two years ago.From all the things that only a bride can feel, it sounds like a "narrative poem".But when it came to the birth of the child, there was a sudden silence.Trying to look around from the corner of the window, it turned out that a red fruit fell in front of the child. The housewife and the old nanny both teased the child quietly. The situation was exactly the opposite of what I had imagined.Every move of the child completely captivated the healthy little housewife.In ten hours, I completed a story titled "The Housewife".The next day, when I gave it to the housewife as a gift for three years after marriage, I accepted the gift and looked at it with a smile. When I saw it, I lowered my head, but my eyes were wet.It took a while to lift those wet eyes, which were full of sincerity and kindness.

"You write very well, thank you. What can I give you? I am so honest, so useless, so speechless. Let me answer your rhetoric with simplicity and loyalty. I hope that the pen in your hand can Use it in a more important and broad aspect. As for me, a little peace and quiet is enough.I am not greedy! " After hearing this, I understood that I had failed.For example, even if you are a famous artist in painting, if you use many dazzling colors and delicate techniques to draw a woman's face, in the eyes of strangers, it is enough to look gentle and elegant.But after she saw it herself, she only modestly smiled and said softly, "You paint very well, very similar, but you just forgot about my simplicity." Even though the painter is very conceited, he can't help feeling a little ashamed in his heart , suddenly like mourning.Because he understands that simplicity and kindness are a kind of virtue in life, and it is not easy to express them with colors.A young woman represents the light and color of youthful eyes and eyebrows, and the brush can still grasp it. As for the simple beauty inherent in the same person, it is difficult to vividly portray it with vermilion ink.

I also smiled at that time, and chatted to explain the ridicule: "First-class poetry, as usual, can only praise the beauty of the second-class. My strengths in writing, writing about the grievances of the children in the countryside, and the rough stew of the characters who eat stinky beef and sauerkraut, are easy to be realistic. It is clumsy to describe you for the past three years. It's unbearable. Let's keep this good impression in my life, as an education for me, will you? You have to believe that it will affect me more than any great book. I need education, for Countryman souls come to the city to pretend to be elegant, but in fact they are barbaric to the extreme!"

"A book, what you want to read may be a copy of "New Arabian Nights". You have said yourself that you are a person who has received enough life education and needs a good emotional education. What can educate you emotionally? , I don’t know. Whether it’s imagination or behavior, I don’t bind you and control you. If there is a young and transparent heart, a beautiful woman’s eyebrows and smiles can inspire you and educate your emotions, it’s very good thing. It’s just an article that everyone praises, you don’t have to hide it from me alone, you have to let me appreciate it, otherwise it’s really useless to be a writer’s wife, and you won’t even get this bit of enjoyment! " How honest, how modest, how tactful!I'm almost completely defeated.He murmured and thought about it, and felt that all the words lost their meaning when facing the simplicity of the housewife.I made excuses to escape. From then on, everything can no longer be justified in front of the housewife, and all eloquence can't match the meaning and weight of that self-denying silence.From a silence or a smile I have received an education both stern and gentle, such as I could not have gained from any book or other experience. But there is really a "New Arabian Nights" in my life, a continuous story generated from the mind of the East, unfolding in front of my eyes, the content is absurd and illusory, gorgeous but not serious.Just like a synthesis of pictures and music.I put it down and opened it again, browsing through many fragments and chapters, and finally threw the book away from a distance. Fighting against my own weakness, I have been fighting for ten years.The most fragile part of life, that is, the country people who are out of the world, are very easily moved by the perfect artwork in all shapes.Any art produced by the combination of passion and fantasy in another time and place can occupy my life.Especially the perfect creature that grows in the sun.Beauty exists with the sun, and the overflow of emotion is like clouds like water, and like clouds like water, there is no stagnation.But it's a situation of forgetting myself when things happen, how tiring life is for employing people to educate me!And in any self-forgetful situation, there is always a shadow of a humble and silent black face and long eyebrows, a simple book, always at hand. I saw my weakness, and I saw the understanding, tolerance and bondage of love and resentment in that silent smile.I finally defeated myself, and often put down a pen in my hand.Because I know that it is not a dangerous attraction to me just to be a work of art, a creature whose soul and body are perfect, and who is good at dyeing Dandai to regulate eyebrows and dimples.What's scary is that all the advantages and characteristics attached to this creature, when combined with my imagination by chance, fanned the melancholy and fanaticism.If I continue to use my pen unrestrainedly, it is close to prolonging the melancholy and fanaticism.I have to cooperate with the housewife in everything from the perspective of being a citizen to cope with the dangers and difficulties that the real war has brought to the family, as well as the fatigue caused by the long-term torture of housekeeping.As a result, everything in the family was purified while smiling at each other and singing with the children.On the desk in the thatched cottage, wild flowers picked from the fields one after another, vermilion, sapphire blue, purple flames, goose feather yellow and velvet, prolong each spring to more than half a year, and also maintain the housewife’s emotional love. Flexibility, and the long-term youth of the body and soul.A testament to love and art adorns every page of this modest little book. Today is September 8th again. Four days ago, I quietly invited three friends to drive to the countryside tomorrow morning, and I brought some wine, vegetables and candies to celebrate the victory and the 13th year of housekeeping for the little housewife.Without letting her know beforehand.I have to prepare some presents myself.To be a little chic is not necessarily worth the money.In late autumn, the light purple and light green daisies are out of date, and the orchids with fleshy red balls are gone, and the spring flowers are lifeless, only the small blue flowers with downy and the small white flowers of the pitcher family. Also scattered in the grass marshes.The small white flowers are weak and slender with dark yellow thin leaves. The leaves are shaped like small hands with pointed fingers, and a drop of sweet gum is placed in the palm to lure small mosquitoes and gnats on the marsh.The white flowers on the top are as small as a grain of rice, but the fragrance is compelling. Although everything is so small and fragile, the completeness of life is amazing, as if the creator has paid special attention to it, and it can only be completed slowly.Gather this flower into a large cluster, insert it into a shallow black ceramic bowl, and when it is placed in front of the window, the contrast of yellow and white overlaps and interweaves, and it is held up from a piece of black pottery, giving people a feeling of dreaming.And infecting the surrounding air, the environment is like soaking in a dream. The whole family eats dinner in front of this window.Everything is so familiar and just like a dream.The children grew up singing and crying alternately, only remembering that Japan will surrender and sign tomorrow, but forget the date when the mother will become a bride.Hu Hu, who was born just over a month ago during the July 7th Incident, is already in the fourth grade of primary school. The fifth column next to his mother asked me questions with big urchin eyes. "Dad, you said that after the war, we have to give Mom a gift together. What gift? Are you ready?" "Of course I am prepared, but I will let you know tomorrow." Eleven-year-old Longlong said, "There's still ours! You have to buy "Arabian Nights" for me and "Sherlock Holmes" for my younger brother." The housewife looked at me and smiled, "It's too early to watch "Arabian Nights"! There will be opportunities in the future." I said, "It's better to read my "Autobiography" and learn some naughty tricks. As for Huhu, he is already a little Sherlock Holmes." Little Huhu said: "Father, I guess you must be giving a speech again—thanks to Mom for everything. It's over. The words are always the same. How can you teach?" "If you are too good at talking, you can't teach. For example, if you are the first in speech, the second in singing, the fifth in calligraphy, and the failure of group service. - A gentleman does not use his hands but his mouth, you have to learn to use your hands in everything!" "Totally wrong. When we were fighting, the teacher said, 'A gentleman uses his mouth but not his hands.'" "Of course what the teacher said is another matter. I want you not to fight and oppose civil war. That's why I said that. As usual, fools often want to fight! As for me, I don't agree with fighting! It's so troublesome to fight back and forth and have to make peace. .” "Then why do you say you don't move your hands?" "Because scolding each other is not good, it is easier to mediate than fighting, and it is not easy to understand right from wrong. At present, it is not a good thing for smart people to scold each other and fight with stupid people." It's the same as giving a lecture to a dignitary, no one can tell what to say.The housewife brought out the big boiled sour pears, and the children yelled "Gentlemen, move your mouth!" At this moment, my abstract theories were naturally overthrown by the facts shown by the two urchins. When the eight-year-old vegetable oil lamp with a bamboo frame was turned on, the yellow light illuminated everything in the small room like a dream. "Little mother, you should go to bed earlier. The big one is tired from work, and the little one is tired from playing. You will rest at nine o'clock. There may be guests coming tomorrow. I still have something to do, so sit for a while. There must be enough oil in the bottle Until..." At twelve o'clock, I was still sitting at the small desk.what to do Reviewing the rather abstract history of the world in a small area, that is, when a group of beings invade my life in different ways and under various accidental circumstances, the joys and sorrows and gains and losses formed during the giving and receiving.I originally intended to write another story based on the situation ten years ago, as an emotional decoration for the housewife tomorrow.Remembering the conversation ten years ago, I don't know how to write the first line in order to reproduce a simple heart on paper.Facing the dreamy cluster of wild flowers in front of the table, I continued to sit down. Everything is silent, only my heart is beating, like a bridge, which is shaken when all the "past" passes through. Entering at about three in the morning on September 9th, the door leading to the bedroom from the small study room was gently pushed open, and the housewife showed a small black face from the door, with a pair of black eyes under the long eyebrows, "+ Paradox  This is the second time I worry about it: I am very tired, I am too tired, let’s take a rest. We can live a good life without having to use that kind of story!" So I told a little lie, with a double meaning, "Life does not need those stories, and you can live a good life. I completely agree with you. I am reviewing and reading books. The content is profound and moving, as if I wrote it myself. , and the characters and stories are more moving than what I wrote." "Looking at other people's writing and your own writing, regardless of whether it is good or bad, is one case of fascination. This is a kind of character of a writer. What's more, reading acquaintances is always a stranger, and strangers are as familiar as they are familiar. This is also a condition for being a writer." "Little mother, from today onwards, wars all over the world are over, and we are no exception! Listen to me and sleep well. I stay at the table at this time, just like you stay in the kitchen tomorrow. I can't help each other, so I don't allow interference.It is a division of labor that involves real responsibility without complaint.From a common point of view, what I do is to pursue abstraction, what you do is to turn into mediocrity, and the praise and criticism in the wording are different.But you understand that we have something in common here. Because of our common understanding of life and family love, what we pursue is two in one, and we each do our part for a family.If others don't understand, it's okay, we have to admit it ourselves! " "Isn't your body just right? How can you stay up late?" "When a man is in good health, he should do something. I haven't written for a long time! I'm writing a little story." The housewife smiled, "I woke up when I smelled something burning in a daze. What I'm going to tell you is, don't burn any masterpieces like last time in the city because of me, no Leave a word. Those who know it will understand that it is your own uneasiness, and those who don’t know will think that I am jealous of your imagination, so the article has to be burned after it is written, what a pity!" "No, nothing is burning. It's just that there is a little water in the oil, which is exploding." Although I said that in my mouth, I said to myself in my heart, "It is a human heart that is burning, bursting in small bursts, and emitting smoke. Although it is serious and It's not necessary." But I timidly glanced at her to see if she noticed something.From the smile of the housewife, it seems that there is an answer, "I can't hide everything from me." So I avoided this question, and instead said to her confidently, "Little mother, you can't mess with me anymore! If you mess up my mind, the story can't be finished until dawn!" You have been tired all day, for thirteen years, why don't you take a good rest? " "For tomorrow, everyone has to rest and rest, which is reasonable!" I understand the double meaning in the words.But everyone's tomorrow is similar but different. The housewife has to take a good rest and regain her energy to receive a few friends who have gone to the countryside, and to accept the kind of housework that is extremely tedious but actually very pleasant.As for me, like lamp oil, I have to burn it dry before I can finish my work and have a tomorrow!I laughed at what I thought, and she laughed at what she said.The two kinds of laughter melted under the dim yellow light. Both felt genuine joy in the concrete tomorrow as well as the abstract one. After the housewife gave in and fell asleep quietly, I refilled the lamp with some oil and sent a small cup of hot coffee to my stomach. As I stirred the little silver teaspoon, another conversation came back to me for a moment. "Second brother, no, it's twelve o'clock, for us, you have to lie down! What is this?" "This is a denial to you that I'm a bit lazy and don't work hard. Didn't you always say that as long as you are willing to work hard, you can listen to me, even if you are inadvertently caught by some young girls' natural strengths, bright eyes, and good-sounding Your voice, and that handsome sibling's hair grabbed my heart, is it okay? Whether it's out of great tolerance or transparent understanding, I believe that what you said is sincere. But you have to prove it with facts !" "How much work does it take? Think about it for yourself." "Now you only need to experiment with a less serious matter. You go to sleep immediately and let me work! I am working!" "You can imagine, isn't this close to a kind of cruelty to the people around you?" "Can you think of how cruel it is to strangle a work that is yet to be completed?" From this dialogue review, I understand that life and work are still somewhat contradictory and difficult to balance.This is also a kind of gap in life, and we need to try to fill it up.When neglected, weeds and moss can grow in every gap.I have to plan to plant a little flower in this gap, a dream.For example, the fragile but complete insectivorous plant nearby, can there be such a delicate thing in the abstract that can be cultivated and grown up?Is there a miracle that I don't have to stay up all night, and I can calmly finish five ten books, and these books can balance my illusions about life, and don't drive me into madness? As for the housewife, can she get a kind of satisfaction from the book, thinking that it was produced under her encouragement and supervision? This boundless thought submerged me again and again.Time is gone.The lights went out.It's dawn. If I search for something again, I gently open the door, and like an eagle, I leave the nest where the board is placed, and fly to the fresh and open sky.I walked for a long time among the dew-filled field ridges and barren tombs.I just feel that the air is cold, soaking into the deep folds of the top of my head.After a while, the whole body is bathed in the warm sunshine and shadow, and everything on the ground is also bathed in this light and shadow, and the tops of the grass are all dotted with iridescent dew.There are also the small table-shaped purple flowers and the downy plateau blue flowers, if they wake up from sleep, they slowly unfold the leaf receptacles that were closed at night, and spit out small stamens and yellow velvet ears with powder.The present world is a new revelation to me, how good and whole everything is!If you look at the abstract ideas and concrete knowledge of human beings, any great achievement accumulated over thousands of years is nothing compared to it?There is still dew in the fields, and the wild flowers that fully see the natural wisdom and majesty in the dew and the sun.A pure divinity, the basic concepts of all philosophies, and the greatness and magic of all art and literature are all conceived by it. I wanted to see Dianchi Lake and walked straight to the water.But I can see the peaks of the Western Mountains immersed in a piece of blue waves, like a line of dark green eyebrows in the mist and mist.The water glistened in the sun, making it even more beautiful.The more the divinity of nature is strengthened in my heart, the closer my life values ​​become to a madman.Before he knew it, his feet had already stepped on the waterside with the remains of snails and mussels.I know that my feet and my thoughts, walking in this fresh morning air, are going a little too far, and if I go forward, I may go straight into the depths of Dianchi Lake.I have to go home. Remembering the gift promised to the child to the housewife, I picked a lot of blue flowers with dew on the side of the road and ran to the house. I met the housewife face to face in front of the door, just as if I had just discovered my disappearance, and went looking for me with anxiety. "Where have you been? Why didn't you tell me first, and leave a message? The children are all looking for you!" Glancing at the blue flower, the dew was shining on the blue flower, "Just for this look, forget The other is in a hurry." "No. Can I forget you? Just because I want to write a small article to commemorate this September 9th as I did ten years ago. I sat there all night and had nothing to write. I realized the fact that I have not made progress in the past ten years. I already understand what simplicity is. But, if I praise it, my complicated brain will not know what to do. My article is still a title, "Housewife". As for this article (I handed her the flower), you see it is blue How pretty!" "A symbolist, all right!" Afterwards, both of them laughed. The two laughs melted in the morning sun. When the housewife put the bouquet of blue flowers into an open white porcelain vase, she handled the flowers in her hand and said, "Guess what I think?" "You're thinking, 'This gift is better than any gold and jewels! It's about the same as that 'Housewife'! Here's a creature with character and character, with nobility in the ordinary.' And you want to say, 'My lord, The story is finished, please sleep well for me at two o'clock. Get up again when the train calls at ten o'clock, so that we can go to the station to pick up the guests together. I hope there is also a beautiful girl who can sing among the guests, everyone have a good day! Go to sleep, you are so tired! '...I'm going to say 'No, I'm just a little tired this day, you've been tired for thirteen years! You never say you want to rest.I feel ashamed and sad when I think of it! '""Is this worth thinking about and being ashamed of?It's the first time I've heard you say shame! " From the unnatural smile of the housewife, Yiyue sees a little tear, and sees the kingdom of heaven in the tear. The bouquet of small blue flowers on the table burns like a flame, and the small white flowers are like a dream.I do seem to be a little tired.It seems to hear a kind of call and invitation from afar, worrying that I will get lost in the emotions caused by the two flowers, and I don’t know where to go. If the invitation book comes out of the flower, burning and dreaming, this is the beginning of the story, not Finish. It was written in Taoyuan, Kunming on September 9, 1945, and completed in Peiping in September 1946.