Chapter 5 unemployment

When it's not busy, the bureau is strangely quiet and people are strangely idle.Da Ren, the administrator of the long-distance telephone office who has recently taken over the job, is sitting in a corner, in charge of the weird machine that conveys civilization, white porcelain plates, copper strips, nails, threads, and a bunch of small light bulb, wondering.He's sleep deprived, indigestion, and seems mad at someone.Yes, he was a little pissed off.A new life weighed heavily on him, very tight, and he was angry about it.He is writing his diary, recording a scene yesterday afternoon when a soldier called to demand money for cigarettes and quarreled with the dealer.The soldiers cooperated with the cigarette dealers to distribute the poison to the county, and the merchants got a 28% kickback as usual.

At that time, the cigarette payment could not be paid in full, and I was eager to ask for money, but I couldn't think of a way to do it. As a result, I couldn't explain it clearly on the phone, so I had to yell at him.That's it!Similar to this kind of thing, there are one or two things every day. The diary was full of nonsense words, and he wrote a paragraph. He read it by himself and was very angry. ... I don't know what kind of luck it is, that I came to this small county to work as a telephone office administrator.You have to have a big stomach to do this, so you can pretend to be sullen!Is this also done by humans?Copper wires from abroad are drawn across hundreds of miles, and this complex wiring machine is installed in important places and simultaneous interpreters, "Hello", "Hello", "Okay", "Okay", The engineering department installed the "civilized sharp weapon" and got on the phone. There was nothing wrong with it, and they went back to the provincial capital to negotiate with Wawa Matheson for rebates.So this aspect is auspicious to open, the county magistrate, the messenger, the shopkeeper of the butcher shop, the wives of Wang Sanjia, the nuns of the empress' nunnery, no matter which one took out two cents, "Sir, please recite the regulations to me, I will take... ..." "I only have eighty-four copper coins here, and four coins are missing. Sir, if you do something good, give me some money, and I will say nothing!" It is not popular, and Aunt Wang does not know how to read.You have to collect enough money, poor thing, the eighty-four coins were collected from various places.The affairs of the yamen are even more difficult to deal with. If you are slow to pick up, the county office will say that you are "delaying official business", even if you count loan sharks, it is still official business.There are also the phone calls of the men in the army. The first thing they say is: "The wiring, your mother, your ears are blocked by dicks?"Tell him the reason well, these people are not the ones who want to understand the "reason".These are some people who are scolded and beaten, stand guard at attention, suppress bandits and scold their mothers, receive three or forty cents a month, have no proper job, and live in strange ways called "deputy masters" in China!There are millions of such people in the northern and southern provinces of China.Who knows how they got here and what use they are to the country.

This is a real big school for training people to know how to be Chinese. I should keep learning, and I should study hard.This profession will tell me what China is like and what there is.Those who want to live in China must understand how most people live there... Administrator Da Ren is only a 21-year-old boy who has just graduated from a provincial high school. , one head is enthusiastic about work, and the other is bookish.It just so happened that the province paid attention to construction, and the long-distance telephone network had just been installed. There was an open recruitment process, and 30 out of 600 people were selected out of the best.After winning the election, they were distributed to this small county to handle errands.How many people envy this good job with security and promise, how many people hope for this position but can't get it!

In fact, it is a profession that may well be said to be the envy of others.Like the kind of person who is willing to learn more in society, has the courage to prepare to know "life" and expects to use his brain to live a writing career with his own hands in the future, for this kind of person, there is no better opportunity.Come to think of it, is there anyone else with more experience than this long-distance operator's ear?This is a rotten head office for soul exchange in a place where the receiver can hide any obscene words, and don't know any new and weird things. Especially those few yamen, all about the things in the yamen, accepting bribes, cheating, reporting too much for too little, committing crimes, haggling in lawsuits...all kinds of things that are disreputable but are recognized as extremely natural in China at the moment, Those who need to discuss and negotiate over the phone, everyone understands that this matter should be concealed from the sky, but it cannot be concealed from the person in charge of the telephone bureau.

That's why all the agencies in a county are willing to be good friends with the telephone office, treat the telephone office staff as a confidant, and be polite to the administrator while making unreasonable troubles. As for the civilians, these people are not worthy of using this weapon of civilization because of their ignorance. Although they have trouble with the administrator in everything, they also have a kind of fear of the administrator, just like they have no fear of the staff of the post office and telegraph office. Officer, I'm afraid to take care of it.Although the telephone company sent them a message for 20 cents a time, it could control their conversation.Use "No Empty Line" and "It's About Time" against the kind of troublesome guy who doesn't matter if you're a redneck or a city guy.It is the soldiers who keep the staff of the telephone office at a loss, but the affairs of the soldiers are completely in the hands of the administrator of the telephone office.

The administrator thought of yesterday's report on the army's suppression of bandits, and felt very uncomfortable.Seeing the time, it was more than three o'clock before business was busy: I walked out of the office and went outside to look at the street.In a flour shop opposite the telephone office, a big fat shopkeeper stood on a bench, and a young apprentice was holding on to the foot of the stool, preparing to make paper signs for the anniversary sale.A few idlers who had nothing to do, all sat on the street and watched the excitement.There is a pond on the east side of the street, and a woman is driving ducks across the street, as if sending ducks into the water.A deputy in gray military uniform suddenly ran out of the alley, pretending to be very surprised, looked at the three ducks for a while, and after he was satisfied, he looked at the woman again. Walking over to chase the duck, he said, "Hey, I didn't find you, you flat-haired bastard can fly, and you actually flew to this place!"

Seeing that something was wrong, the woman chased after the soldier and said, "Why, what, deputy, you snatched my duck! No, it's mine!" The soldier had sharp eyes and quick hands, and was already grabbing the neck of a white-feathered duck. "This is mine! You stole my duck, and I'll ask you a briber..." The woman screamed, "No, No, deputy, you can't take it away, it's mine! I raised it!" The soldier also yelled loudly, "You raised one, you bitch, you stole my duck and lied, come with me to Dongyue Palace!" Dongyue Palace is the yamen of the Ten Palaces of Hades, but now there is a 100×10 Regiment of the 45th Army of the Sichuan Army stationed there.The woman was stunned for a while, and the soldier walked away with the duck in his arms.The woman then sat by the pond and wept quietly.The watching men walked past the woman, knowing what was going on, and some even smiled.The woman wiped her tears, but told an acquaintance about it.The acquaintances were afraid of getting into trouble, and looked around, "Sister-in-law, forget it. Ducks can't talk, and it's no use going to the Yamen to find Mr. Bao! Mr. Bao on the stage doesn't care about our city affairs!"

The person from the telephone exchange also walked past the woman, but the woman stopped crying.Someone asked, "Is this duck yours?" The woman said, "Why isn't it mine!" "It's yours, go get it back!" "I'm afraid they'll hit me. Forget it, I'll see the devil in the blue sky." The woman seemed to comfort herself with a fatalistic view, while cursing softly: "The people on Liangzi are all robbers, robbers, hacked by knives, and guns." Hit it." Then he raised the rattle and said, "I'm going to drive the two ducks down the pond."

The manager of the telephone office was going to ask the woman, but when he saw the woman's situation, he didn't say anything, and went back to the office. When I got back to the phone, I thought to myself, "This woman must be a local prostitute. The soldiers carried the ducks to sleep at night, got the advantage, and then caught the ducks back in the daytime. Otherwise, there is no reason to rob the ducks in the daytime." Seeing that the time was still early, I felt very unhappy about the previous incident, and finally wanted to go out and ask the woman whether the duck was robbed by the soldiers, or whether she snatched the duck first and was taken back by force by the soldiers.As soon as he arrived outside the gate of the bureau, he saw the head of Xinyiji riding a big white mule with black clouds and snow to the gate of the bureau.The two knew each other, but before the manager Da Ren could speak, the village chief leaned over the mule and said, "Morning, morning, morning, sir!"

"Morning, mayor!" The mayor stopped the mule and said, "Trouble, please pick us up." After the line was connected, the mayor asked Mr. Jili to speak. Only then did the telephone office know that the mayor came to the city yesterday to report that there was a young bandit Li San in Jili. Please send a team to catch the bandit.The army set off early in the morning, with a captain, two deputy captains, and 120 deputy masters.The mayor was serious about his work, and even asked the master's team to be entertained by him!This is no child's play, the food intake of 120 people is really impressive!

After the phone call, the mayor talked about the weather and personnel matters, and hurriedly got on his mule and rushed back to Xinyiji.The administrator of the telephone office forbearance watched the village head's livestock followed by two countrymen, and picked up two loads of vermicelli, meat and vegetables, and said to himself, "With a little bit of virtue, it will not be a lot of trouble to let this man surnamed Li walk." Did you know?" He knew that when the team set off, not only the township chief's entertaining was an expensive job for civilians, but also the report, the kind of war report that was passed on to Shangfeng by phone, which was exaggerated and unreasonable as usual, did not arrive at the end The set of triumphant offering of captives.All of this seems to have a formula, it is inevitable, because everything is a "habit", so very few people doubt it. In the afternoon, Xin Yiji's phone call came.In the tone of the captain, he called the reception office.Although the line was transferred to the county government, the staff in the bureau still heard clearly one by one. A copy of this report has to be copied by the bureau for record keeping. "... Li San led the bandits and resisted tenaciously. The soldiers stepped forward bravely and captured him. Seeing that the situation was not good, the remaining five bandits... fled in all directions. About 600 bullets were used in this battle. Fortunately, there was no casualty in our troops..." After a while, the county office called the commissioner's office again, and the county magistrate spoke to the commissioner: "...As soon as he heard the report, he personally led the troops to the countryside... a total of bullets were consumed About a thousand grains." good business!I copied the same report three times, and I didn't mention it, and I didn't say it. The more the war was said, the more it was said, and the more bullets were consumed.No wonder the newspapers said that these people are so serious about suppressing bandits, and they are so diligent in going to the countryside! The next day, the team leader with a tuft of hair on his ears came to the telephone exchange first. "Hard work, hard work! The captain went to the countryside to work hard!" "There, it should be. Is it okay if you don't handle the local affairs? You are really hard here! This bureau is doing business, and the country people make troubles! You have to do military affairs..." The official words were finished. , and then say something private. The administrator Da Ren asked: "Captain, what's the matter with the bandit? I heard that he is a great swindler!" "Oh, don't talk about it, Zhang San Li San, he is very good at flying over eaves and walls. A deserter, a bum boy, just that bum boy, who somehow got lucky, got two boxes, and went back to his hometown to take shelter from the wind. Since he has never committed crimes in his hometown, he never thought of anyone selling his water. Until the team surrounded the village, this kid was still basking in the sun on the sorghum stalks. He didn’t commit crimes in his hometown, so what’s wrong with him? Hehe! Here we come, kid Knowing that someone walked into the water, and the team was coming to get him, he climbed up the stack. Okay, both boxes were put on the red grooves, and they clapped their hands. Is this not easy? One hundred and twenty For one, is it troublesome to capture Zhang San alive and touch the snails in the water tank? "Good brother, don't fire, the village is surrounded. Throw the box down, and you have something to say." Look at this kid, he is really surrounded, and he knows people. , The two poles of boxes were thrown down. After the people were tied up, they were tied to the manger and beaten for a while.... The head of the village said: "Captain, captain, you have worked hard. The boxes are kept. I will report to the county another day.This is one hundred and twenty foreign dollars, brother, drink tea.You and I are good brothers, that and that are easy to talk to. '...and that's it. " "How old are you?" "Twenty-two years old, what a man!" "Have you come to the city?" "Hey, why did you come to the city? Let me ask you. What are you going to do with the one hundred and twenty yuan?" "Then you reimburse the bullets?" "A total of five and a half clips were played." "Hi, is that the one?" "Isn't it just a click... No, it's in our interest to keep alive? Sir, you are really..." The administrator of the telephone office was very patient and wrote to his brother in his hometown, saying: "Brother, help me change my job, I will quit! I will quit! I will quit!" My brother wrote in a letter and said, "Have you quit? ?Okay, let’s think about studying in Beijing, let others do it if we can’t do it.” But the second letter said: “Where did you go, isn’t it the same? If you don’t work, you will lose your job!” Young people are literally out of work. (Note: This article was published in the second volume of "Mercury" in 1935. It was rewritten based on the work of an unknown friend. I dare not rob the beauty.) April 1935