Chapter 8 Shen Congwen's A Collection - The Fourth

When I was in Beijing the year before last, I met a chatterbox at a guest banquet.This man was passing through Beijing from Shanxi at that time, a respectable and lovely person, on the crudest metaphor of the XX person, he said that the person just took his face, or his mouth, or any part of his body, and put it in a pawn shop It is also easy to pledge a large amount of money in the process, which is not for the sake of empty reputation.After dinner, we sat on the old kang in the north room of Dongxing Building, drinking tea and smoking casually, and admiring Qi Baishi's landscape paintings on the wall together. Joyful, because everything he said was very to the point and very interesting. I was supposed to go back home immediately, but I couldn't help but be affected by his eloquent talk, and I couldn't get away. After I arrived, it started to rain outside.

I was in Shanghai in August this year, and I accidentally ran into this person at a friend’s place. Because I was an old acquaintance, even though it was just one side, this friend was very happy. I must go to Hangzhou with him to see what the Zhejiang great man said Advocated martial arts competition.I told him that it would be a good idea to go to Hangzhou, but I would never spend money to watch their martial arts competition.He laughed, and said, should we really go to the martial arts competition?Throwing three copper coins into the circle at Tianqiao in Beijing, watching a wrestling, and someone moving a bench to ask for a seat, I have seen enough.I just invite you to go there to talk about hot days, we play and talk, I can tell you some good stories, you will definitely be able to write this story down and make it into a novel.I thought about it for a while, and seeing this friend's honest and childish face, although I was forced by a kind of debt at that time and had to hurry up and sort out some articles, I finally agreed to him.We left on the 8:00 express train on the 11th, and when we arrived at West Lake, we lived on the third floor of Xinxin Hotel in Neihu.As soon as I got on the train from Shanghai North Railway Station, my friend would talk. When crossing Songjiang, he would talk about sea bass. When he arrived in Haining, he would talk about tide. Lost the hotel and told stories about hotels in Tianjin, Nanjing, Suzhou, and Guangzhou.All in all, if this person's mouth is plugged with something, his words will never stop.Even if he had a mouthful of soup or a banana, it would still not prevent him from talking.I have discovered "genius" in many people and things, but in conversation, I only met such a strange person.

When we arrived at West Lake, it was time for Hangzhou people to catch up with the Mid-Autumn Festival. It is said that the exposition that lost money was about to open. There were more people from Shanghai, and the lake suddenly seemed to be more active than in July.That friend and I made the plan we had made when we were in the car, climbing mountains during the day and taking a boat at night, and spent the rest of the time going around the lake park to see people who took a boat tour of the lake. We have already agreed that when we go to a good place and have to linger for a rest, I will listen to a story told by this friend, and I will write down the general outline with a pencil so that I can edit it when I return to Shanghai.During my friend's talk, I always whizzed some symbols on my notebook, and I often used a small pause to take a little time to write for a tourist's pretty face or a monk's round head. , making a very witty sketch.I remember that in the apse of Jingci Temple, a friend once told a story that was close to a ghost. He told the story of two bearers next to the Yanxia Cave. In Hupao, he told another friend of mine to throw water into the water. After being rescued, my friend told a good story in almost all good places, so I, who was supposed to go back to Shanghai immediately, agreed to the proposal and stayed in West Lake to spend a Mid-Autumn Festival.

My friend is a good person who raps, but the direction and hobby of rapping, but within three days I understood it.With such a young and respectable person, we talked for three days without mentioning the story of love between a man and a woman. This is something I have never encountered.Some people talk about the relationship between men and women once they have spoken three sentences in a meeting; some people have nothing to say except love.My friend, who has a personality so suitable for entanglement with women, seems to have a hidden disease in himself, and a hidden disease in his soul at the same time, so he can't be interested in matters between men and women.Because I felt a little bit unfair, and I had a little question of "what's the reason?" So one day, when we went to Yuquan to watch the fish, we sat by the big pool and threw big cakes for the fish. I asked him why he never listened to the fish. Until a woman's story lingers on his lips.The friend laughed.After a while, the friend did not speak.

When he arrived, he said, "Look at this fish!" I thought he was making an excuse, so I said, "I'm not asking about fish, I'm asking about women." "It's women! Women are like the fish here. They are arranged one by one in this pool, making different colors. Among the various colors, if we like the one, throw a little dough, and it will come. There are dough , and when the fish needs bread, we only think that there are too many fish and it is not easy to choose, so is there any failure?" "I'm afraid fish are not the same as women!" "What's the difference? I'd love to hear your great writer's brilliant commentary! If I had to tell you the difference, I'd have to say that women are easier to catch than fish, and fish need a lot of running water to deal with a woman." , but need not much love."

"This may be true, so I will admit it unconditionally. Just go on with the story and tell me about the woman in your story; what I want to hear is the 'real status quo' rather than the 'abstract Comments'. I would really like to respect you as a hero to women, because you don't lack what it takes to be a hero." "Okay, if you say it like this, of course I want to tell you a little bit." "Don't say a little bit, say everything." "But you are wrong. There is a time limit for everything. You see, it is already half past four, and I won't finish telling the story about women in five days!"

"Then tell me the most moving one, and I'll record it." "You have to believe my story is true." "I totally believe it." I began to put the notebook on the railing, waiting for my beautiful friend to speak. The following story is told by Yuquan Yuchi, because the story is numbered later, so it is listed as the fourth.Some words are not commonly used in a person's language, that is just a failure of my record; some words are a little rough, that is, I have kept the friend's original shape.I should take the bad criticism for this story, and let the good credit go to that friend of all honour.

He said-- I don't like talking about women, you know that.But the best hunter is definitely not a tiger hunter who goes to the street and tells stories about tiger hunting all day long.A good cook can only cook.A chess master or a dumb player.What is the reason?Neither of them had to speak.I understand women, why should I spread this word everywhere?Even if it is my specialty, talent, and skill that I can be proud of, I can only use this skill to obtain the happiness that I deserve, so I never mention it to anyone, and I have no interest in talking about these things. If telling my story is of some benefit to others, I will not begrudge not to tell it.A cook can tell people how to pay attention to the heat and seasoning. My words are much more complicated than cooking, so it doesn't have much effect.

I'm not talking nonsense, I'm born with a heart to understand women, and with this talent, I won't suffer from women wherever I go.I think that there is no woman in the world who is a bad person, and there is no decent person who does not understand love.A prostitute, a boat girl on a boat, can also sacrifice for men and fight for lust, and she is as chaste and lovely as the so-called ladies.If we still believe that everyone has a heart, a woman's heart will always have a tendency to be good under good opportunities.Everything wrong with women is the responsibility of men.It is men's selfishness and incompetence that make women a curse in society.You see, recently some men, some writers who took a pen to write on white paper and made stories, who all mentioned women and forgot to add some slanderous words out of thin air?Of all the poets, who regards women as human beings in terms of the consciousness of his works?We see their admiration for women, their fallacious flattery, and at the same time, we naturally see their lovelorn sadness or suicide.

They regard women as gods, and all miracles that do not exist in gods require women to provide for them, and women are not allowed to be angry when gods are angry, because there are such men in a certain class, who either write poetry or not. , so the woman has completely become a terrible monster. It's not that I lack respect for women, I just understand a little better than others, when women need respect, and how far women can give us men's happiness.I treat a woman like a god and never ask for what she lacks.I have a deep-seated preference for women, but my preference is reasonable and does not embarrass women.Many people say that women can lie, these stupid things, I don’t know how extravagant and unreasonable his demands are, since a woman doesn’t have all the things that come from a man’s mouth, how can she do things completely without lying?

I have heard many men say such strange names as "lovesickness" or "unrequited love", saying that it is a disease that makes people feel cold and hot, a severe disease that makes people feel depressed in life. It is really strange.Why is there such a disease that makes doctors feel helpless?It's just a useless man who, in his useless duty, makes a pitiful slogan.There is probably a kind of man in the world, even if he sees a dissolute prostitute and tells him how to use her in the most obscene way in front of him, this man will still be lovesick.Just as there is a certain kind of man born with such a root cause, it is a castrated rooster, a kind of man who can do nothing but cry.I will never suffer from such a disease, as long as I love someone, no matter what, she will never slip by my hand. I don't have a social status worthy of a woman's love compared to others, I don't have more money than others, and my appearance is not completely decent for all kinds of women. Let me say another wild word, I am not as strong as many people. strong!Falling in love with a woman does not require these at all.Some of the women have a queer liking for buffaloes, but most don't care about it at all.All exaggeration is often just a joke, and there are very few women who are completely satisfied with this exaggeration!I have never seen a woman choose a man according to the standard the men guessed.Most women want men, and they eat exactly the same way as they eat, they only eat whatever is convenient for them.During the meal season, we haven't heard of anyone breaking the dishes because the dishes are too bad. In fact, there are always people who like to throw bowls and broken dishes. There must be a reason; or it is the spoiled lady. , or because of being full and hurting food, or being affected by other diseases, so the temper is bad.However, just like these people, after a while of hunger, she still eats chopsticks casually.As far as I know, women are not accommodating about other things, but men have no problem at all. Why do we often hear a beautiful woman compared to being as cold as ice?That is actually the man's fault, man's stupidity and man's selfishness, beautiful women are often monopolized by the worst kind of men, and they can be chaste and quiet.Any beautiful woman is very willing (or not refusing) to have a few men who can provide all the pleasure physically and mentally as lovers, all men are too ignorant, too shameless, and some men are too similar Only a castrated rooster; only with dazzling golden feathers, can only act as a show, make women happy without restraint, it can never be done, so many women who are naturally dissolute in nature become in this kind of society. become a holy woman.What women need in love is freedom and ease. A woman who has learned that counting hundreds of small coins is not wrong, understands that a plan should be made in the relationship between men and women. If there is too much painful interest, then they will naturally not do it.But if this thing is a casual thing, they can't find a reason to refuse to fall in love with you.The long virtues of the women we praise are unavoidable grievances, so we should not give disproportionate respect or awe to those who can maintain this long virtue. If you love her, you just need to say "I am the most free and easy." The meaning of "a person" is clearly expressed, and her chaste and self-reliant door will be completely destroyed by your attitude. I first said that women need men as much as they eat and drink. That's it, let's pay attention to cooking, pay attention to each other's taste preferences, and the strength of appetite.Naturally, we cannot lack the wisdom to handle things properly at any time. We need an art or technology, we cannot lack self-confidence and inferiority, we cannot lack courage, and we must not lack weakness. And understanding is the best lover.Be patient, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.You have to give the woman you as a vegetable, and you have to let her know that the vegetable is her vegetable, the reason is just that almost all women are a pretentious cook, with stubborn self-confidence, thinking that if this is the same Frying and frying the vegetables at her own will, no matter how unsophisticated her methods are, she is always satisfied when she eats them by herself, or she still feels that the vegetables are palatable and easy to digest after being put into the stomach.If you want to love a woman, use this method to make her understand that you are a dish made by her, and because she is embarrassed, she has to hold you back. Women are similar, if the reason for eating you is just "sorry not to eat", you give her a second chance to "must eat", and in the end she will "must not eat".Many men will never get a woman's love because they seem unwilling to be eaten by a woman reluctantly.All lovesickness, madness, jumping into the river, and wiping their necks are all done by men who don’t understand women. Fortunately, these people are dead, and they will not bother women anymore. By our side, women really don't know how to be wronged and wronged. Because of this kind of thing, many men blame women. These men who are not completely crazy, needless to say, are all idiots, because they only know how to deal with women according to the way they have passed down from their elders. Since the times are different, they can’t find it. Love finds the opportunity to go crazy.It can also be said that they are not people who really want to befriend the same woman, because there are many very passionate women everywhere.These men have but one method, and that is to make women a curse, and these men themselves go mad and wretched, and live lives as bad as God could have expected them to be. Some people say that a woman's heart is like a city gate, which is tightly closed. It is useless to use great strength there.Are there any doors that cannot be opened?But where is the door in the human heart "opened"?If "vigor" is needed here, then the door is also an unnecessary thing.The door was "slapped" open.There is no way to open the door, even if it is locked, it is still an easy and convenient thing.Gently pat, use your mouth to gently adopt various methods to pat, every woman's whole body is soft as milk and crisp, could it be that Xinzi is particularly tough, and can resist a man who can kiss and lie mouth? (Here I urged him once, and I asked him to tell the story and avoid a little discussion.) Yes, I will not say how I feel about men and women.Fortunately, young men are always a very stupid thing. They have received the most complete education, have received awards from the Ministry of Education, and have degrees, but they still don't understand women.A woman will always be a woman, and it will always be as easy as that of a man. As long as you like it, as long as you think she looks good somewhere, and it suits your wishes, put your words and actions in an appropriate expression, and she will check. After a while, see if it is something that is beneficial and unconstrained, and I will generously give you what you pay attention to.Or she can use the mouth that is only suitable for applying rouge, eating odds and ends and kissing to talk to you and tell her that she loves you a little or all.The important thing is that you have to believe that what she says is not false at all.A woman will never tell a lie, unless you always make it clear that you don't believe her appearance, or you are originally a person who likes to listen to lies, and when she feels helpless, she will follow your interests Create a little lie.Modern women live in the world in such a ridiculous way only because they protect their own interests.They weep, swear, wear soft clothes, wear powder, and make weird faces. These skills that belong to an actor are always indispensable for women, and they are all for men's morbid defense.Most of the men lack the sexual instinct of eunuchs, that's why they are more suspicious, jealous, and shameless. Every woman's character must include the dignity of a woman and the lewdness of a prostitute, and always think that a woman It is only one thing, a statue of the Six Dynasties in an antique or a small clock in a toy, that cultivates these weaknesses in the emotions of all women. In the end, it is impossible to use education or other methods to make a woman more like a woman who is similar to others. I am surprised by the frightening number of men in the world who don't understand women.There are also many of them who are not shy to play a role in a tragedy, but in the end they always end up with comedy. They think that learning is a thing to help understand women, so they often use theirs. Learning, talking about everything about new women, and writing some random articles or poems, these men are considered to have fulfilled their responsibilities as men.When they love women, they only give the woman they love a little trouble on some occasions, and they don’t give the woman a chance to think about it, or they don’t let the woman have an impression. They are just preparing to break up and go crazy. .When a woman likes a man, the gestation of this pleasing emotion, in addition to a certain distance in a certain period of time, should also be cultivated in the behavior of the man. Later, the two sides will do something childish together. matter. But the young people we see always only know one way to open the door, and always use the same key to open the door of the woman's heart. The woman also reads new books and poetry collections, understands genre and punctuation, understands new Many poets describe the allusion of women, as if it is only the key that knocks on the door, so a lock has to be specially made, so that young people will not be completely disappointed.Some of them have succeeded in this area until recently, but the love transfer to these people is just a show.Their unhealthy body and mind, without the satiation of lust to flirt, they are not worthy of love, because their understanding is based on an empty and abstract love. Only by singing operas and pretending to be emperors can those who are not blessed to be emperors come to power. Today's intellectual love is nothing more than countless dramas that are neither lively nor made up.They are emperors played by eunuchs, they are fake heroes, they even sang and acted, and played with many nouns, making the two sides blush each other, cry and laugh at each other, and finally ended all shame with a supreme "spiritual love" , making up for all untraceable losses. (At this point I urged him again.) Okay, I won't talk nonsense.There is too much nonsense in the story, no matter how relevant it is, you are not very happy.But when it comes to falling in love with women, that is to say, when we return a "story" to "facts", almost all women need a kind of nonsense and perfunctory.If you understand the meaning of the term "supra-mind space", you will believe that this so-called supra-mind space can only be made by men's nonsense. "A passionate bird is by no means a dumb bird." To be a lover, you should learn some melodious calls. If you speak nonsense properly, I am afraid that in the future, all Chinese women will gradually no longer shed tears. It is not easy to cry like now. Then you can get it anywhere.Because some women are the first to feel a man's tenderness, and they often find the one that suits her taste most among a bunch of nonsense, and keep it forever. Let me tell the story without wasting any more time.But before I tell my story, I must tell you a little about my feelings. I don't know what it means to be broken in love.I always get what I want.I don't mean to say that to make me feel self-consciously proud.I don't magnify this exaggeration in front of acquaintances, because lying is just to maintain vanity, and I don't need the nickname "love genius".I just let you understand my strong sword of body and mind. My temper is falling in love with a woman. I can always make a woman understand that I love her at the fastest speed, and finally let her know what I need. In the end, she gave me what I needed.I can't hear anyone talking about a beautiful woman living quietly beside a very bad-looking and vulgar husband. I can see these chastity as a kind of grievance, and at the same time feel a kind of indescribable grief and indignation. When I feel pain, I will You have to love that woman.My childish behavior can also be said to be chivalrous. It seems to be an act of revenge against the common people, and it seems to be an act of charity for women. I have made some sacrifices here.Hearing that this woman's life is unreasonable, I found an opportunity to generously donate my bright and young body to this woman, so that she can get a mysterious revelation from my body, and use my gentleness as a A kind of key that unlocks the door of this woman's closed heart, wants her to have a fire of youthful desire, wants her to realize all the irrationality in the past, and finds out that the old bull possessing her is a kind of thing from a new acquisition. A shame, a gnashing of teeth. The thing is that in the year of ××, I was working as a technician in a mercury sand field.One day, I went to a place about forty miles away from the city to find a friend, and took the most disgraceful long-distance bus there.On the way I met a woman, a beautiful woman who astonished me too.That graceful slender and soft curve drawn under the light purple silk wrapping, I admit that this is a work that Tiangong himself is satisfied with.The arrangement of the eyes and eyebrows, the nose, were beyond criticism.This man was sitting in the front row of me as if he was worried. I wondered in my heart that such a woman existed in this place.Judging from the clothes and hair, it is difficult for me to estimate the identity of this woman accurately.I thought this should be my disaster, and I should find another reason to be responsible in the company's position, so I deliberately saw where the woman got off the bus, and if I got off halfway, I would go there Go down and ask her where she lives and what she does.I usually don't feel much trouble with women, but once I feel cute, I can't give up this opportunity. But it wasn't until the last stop that this man got off the bus. I just wanted to do something stupid, follow this woman for a while, and don't go to a friend's place to visit a friend.But the worst luck is caused by myself. I’m afraid I didn’t find my friend’s place before I came. I wrote a letter to inform my friend the other day, but my friend was waiting at the parking lot when he saw me jumping out of the car door. , the eldest daughter of the friend who was beside him saw me and came up to grab me.Because the child made a fuss, because she took the child to the friend's side, shook hands with the friend, and then looked back, the woman no longer knew where she was.With a little melancholy, I followed my friend to his residence, and talked with my friend and his wife about the lives of some acquaintances who stayed abroad.As a rule, I don't like to talk about women, so out of respect for me, my friend and his wife didn't say anything about women in this small town.I am no exception, I went to ask my friend and his wife what I saw in the car.But at dinner time, the eldest daughter, the gentleman who greeted my friend at the station, suddenly said to her mother, "Mom, I was picking up my uncle at the station today, and I saw that auntie in purple again. She is so beautiful." "Did you see her again? Why didn't you call her?" "I forgot it because I picked up my uncle. That's really a beauty in the painting." The gentleman is only a child of six years old, and he is not lacking in admiration when he mentions this beautiful woman. I asked my friend who the woman in question was. My friend originally thought that I was not interested in women, so he said, "If you think this woman is beautiful, I will find a way to introduce it to you, so that we gentlemen can often see each other. Gentlemen always meet once. Tell me about this woman once.” My friend’s words were obviously meant as a joke, because he doesn’t know me at all, and although he believes that I have all the qualifications to make women fall in love, he always thinks that I am a happy and healthy woman. To put it simply, he treats me like a lonely and lonely man, and in all aspects of speech and deeds, he always treats me with an element of implicit pity.For this opponent, I don't want to say more. However, after a while, my friend's wife seemed to understand me a little, and told me many things about the woman.I only knew that Mrs. Namei was the wife of a pastor from Junzi's mother, because Junzi was occasionally taken by her mother to play in the church of XX, so I got to know this woman.All Junzi's mother knew was that the woman had graduated from XX Girls' School and had just married the pastor of XX last year. The pastor was fifteen years older than the woman.After hearing these words, I felt some unexpected changes in my heart as a friend and couple.Another enemy appeared in front of me. I imagined that the pastor was the worst and most despicable character. I guessed that their marriage was based entirely on a kind of deceit. I couldn't believe that there was no reaction in this woman's heart.The time came to give me a chance to sacrifice myself. I accompanied the gentleman, mother and daughter to the church garden to watch the white cranes. The pastor was not at home, but the beautiful woman in purple came out to entertain us. I intentionally stayed in the garden for a long time. I naturally got acquainted with the pastor's wife. Naturally, I was very sensible and gave her the best and most complete impression in a kind of initial meeting.When I got back to my friend's house, I nodded to the woman for the last time, and I believed that I had done a great deed. On the way, the gentleman's mother asked me if this woman was very cute, and I said I would put Come and play in a dangerous situation by yourself. Gentleman's mother understands what I mean. She knows me better than her husband, so she laughed and said Che is willing to help. Going back to my friend’s study room, lying on a small bed specially arranged for me, thinking about all the sudden things, thinking about the future, thinking about the situation of the woman at this time, I felt feverish all over my body, but I still overcome it with self-sufficiency. The gallop of the heart.I understand that I should sleep quietly in this small study for one night, and save my energy for tomorrow.Impatience can only be done by doing some stupid things to mess up the problem. What women are most afraid of is that men are impatient.A smart man, his smartness is only in how to maintain the speed of consciousness to the situation approved by the facts.He understands the futility of daydreaming, and he should not speculate on the relationship between two or more people when he is alone, because as a rule, such conjectures are very easy to place himself in a fallacious situation that is contrary to the facts. The next day I took Junzi to see the pastor and his wife. I only talked with the pastor for a long time.I talked about theology and religious studies with the man who was bred like a big kangaroo by peddling St. James. I talked with him about the changes in the churches of various factions in China. I talked with him about baptism and various issues of charity in the church. Later, he talked to the kangaroo about the Bible.Fortunately, I can have so much nonsense to talk about.Needless to say on the priest's side, I got what I needed in one long walk.I made the swindler love me and tell the lady about my respectability, which I did the next day. On the third day, I went with the gentleman, mother and daughter again.My friend, this lady has really kept her promise, and while I continued to discuss all important issues with the man who peddled the name of St. James, the gentleman's mother discussed with the lady about me and the priest. The sudden change of things surprised me a lot. It was only on the sixth day that this beautiful woman, still wearing her purple dress, stayed alone in my friend's small study and fell in love with me. one Naturally, I can't begrudge all the needs that she understands.I gave her all I had, and let her spend the early summer meaningfully with lust and tenderness in a new kind of enjoyment. I stayed at my friend's house for half a month, and this woman has been there five times.I went back to XX, and the woman came seven times.My behavior surprised my friend. He was surprised that he was a good man. A person who studied natural science thought that I had done it by good luck.He still had to use a good friend's jeer that I won a bet of fortune by betting luck, in which of course I don't have to argue, because even now he doubts my "scientific method". You know very well that the love between two young people is mostly maintained on a wanton behavior at first, and soon the game turns to a serious situation.Our approach, because of the distance, is a problem.I can't use my friend's house as a base for meeting, and because of other relationships, I can't move to XX.And we are all dissatisfied with the status quo at the same time. We all have to go a step further, with a little effort, with a little determination, and sacrifice some of the happiness that must be sacrificed to achieve perfection. Originally, I only had a vengeful character toward women, but with the women I met before that woman, I only lived with them for a while as a rule, and finally broke up because of other things. of.As usual, I am friendly with Lie women. I slowly see her weaknesses, slowly understand her personality, and I am very happy in whatever life I live in. I always spend some effort to transfer this person to the most suitable one As far as the husband is concerned, I will try my best to let them gradually neglect me in their friendship, and I will try my best to make them a couple. There are quite a few such people, but unfortunately I can't talk about it for you at this time.But ever since I fell in love with this pastor's wife, I feel that I should marry, and that there is no other woman to marry but her.I really surrendered to that unbearable tenderness and unbearable enthusiasm, completely lost a little rationality, and was about to do the thing that made the kangaroo pray to God to punish me. We desperately planned to leave the life of ××, and even prepared the necessary pleadings to the society. But it's a fact, not a fiction, and we're still breaking up because of something new and unbelievable.I was hit by a more sudden event than the meeting. She was on the long-distance bus to and from my residence, and the car overturned. The people in the car and the car fell into the river beside the road. This accident happened , Only two days before we left XX, I saw the news in the local newspaper the next day, and the calculated time was exactly the car she took home.I hurriedly took the car to my friend's house in ×× town.As soon as I saw Junzi's mother, I knew she already knew about it.That friend, who didn't expect our passion, didn't expect that I was going to take the pastor woman away two days later, still calmly said the words of the metaphysician as the scientist.He said, "Your luck hit a rock, you should have had a nightmare last night." I ignored him and asked his wife if she knew what hospital she was in.The gentleman's mother said that they said that they lived at home, and the injury was not serious, and she was waiting for you to come and take a look together. We soon arrived at the pastor's house next to the church, and met the pastor on the porch in front of the door. He seemed to have no sleep at night and his mind was very messed up, sitting on the small chair and mixing a bowl of porridge. Since I became friends with that woman, I have only been to her house four times, and now I have not seen the learned pastor for seventeen days.When he saw me coming, he was very excited. He didn't understand what my wife and I were doing behind his back.He thought it was because I read the newspaper or went to a friend's house and heard Junzi's mother talk about it, so I came to see him and the patient.The gentleman's mother asked him a word, and he immediately led us to the woman's house.He entered the room, walked to the woman's bedside very sadly, called the woman a strange name gently, like a father calling the youngest child, and told the woman who closed her eyes and squinted that a friend came visit.The woman seemed to know that it was me, she didn't open her eyes immediately, and sighed softly.I understand the hidden meaning of this.I know that the husband's tenderness not only made me sad, but also made the woman feel ashamed.At the end, we opened our eyes and kept a miserable smile on that thin and charming face. We didn't have anything to say.只听到那袋鼠牧师，说了许多废话，他说到当他听到翻车的时候如何惊惶，到后知道了她在车里又如何着急，到后把人用汽车送来又如何忙乱，他且在这些叙述中，不忘记告我们他对于医药的知识与看护的知识。一个牧师天生就是口舌叫卖的脚色，但我还没有遇到第二个牧师有这个人的博识，且把这知识有条有理的倾泻给人听。当牧师说到一切时，躺在床上用绷带束了头部同臂膊的受伤人，她只是用一种怜悯的眼光望到半秃顶的丈夫。她的皮肤为倾跌所擦伤，她的心为那丈夫也擦伤了。我看到这情形，我想说出几句话，就全没有相宜的话。 我平生第一次感到软弱，我不能救济我自己，我看明白有些地方我不及那袋鼠，我懂到女人在某一种情形下会生出一种牺牲自己的心情，因这个突变的事情，我将在一个失败的局面下过日子了。我有些地方，只有承认我那朋友的不科学见解，命运的手抓着我时，尽人事的摆脱，终归无效，我就只好屈服了。 回到朋友家时我感到消沉。我看出我的失败。虽然仍旧不忘记尽人事的种种必须办法。 （到这里我曾问到他的理论。） 理论是不适用了。理论的失败在事实的特殊。我听到这丈夫是一个医生，我就得承认我们的逃亡是只好当成一个将来的可笑故事讲讲了。我那时恨我不是学医的人，因为除了我是一个好医生，我没有方法可以把自己在这个时候战胜那牧师了。我是在任何事情上不忘记“时间与空间”的一个人，在恋爱的成败上我尤其明白这时空的影响。这时她病倒在自己家中，这家中即或是仇人的家，服侍她的即或是她平时所认为仇人的人，因为时间使她的心上勾出了空间，她将在一些反省上看出自己的过失。她将为一些柔情体贴所征服，觉到生活的均衡为适用，而把冒险的热情消磨在回想里。要想她仍然如往日一样，同我在一种昏看情形中背了那丈夫逃走，或者离婚，这妇人有考虑的必要，而且这考虑结果，她将按照一个妇人的本能，愿意在平安中保持现状，不愿意向新的生活作一件冒险的投资了。 当夜我住在朋友那小书房中，为了恐怖自己为自己的幻象所苦恼，我同朋友谈了许多另外一些关于学问上的问题。我避开女人的事情不提，仍然象平常许多时节的我了。到后我仍然好好的睡了，因为我需要一个更明澈的头脑，预备在明天再到那牧师家中去看看，或者新的日子能够给我一个新的希望，我不承认我的惨败不可收拾。 第二天我一个人到牧师家中，还是早上，仍然在那病室中，听那个牧师谈关于女人晚上发烧的事。那太太，静静的，柔弱的，躺在床上，一句话不说，间或把眼光同我作一次短短接触，那眼光中充满了的异常的忧愁。牧师到后很机警的把我拉到外边，向我说，“她发烧，她昨夜说了许多梦话，全是很可怜的一些言语。你来得正好，我希望你陪到她坐坐，谈点话，解解她的闷，我到××有一点事去。我无论如何要下午才能回来。我这个提议你一定不会拒绝。”把这个话说完，我们对望了好一会。这是互相人格的了解的对视，不是嗔恨，缺少恶意，我从我的对手眼睛里，望得出一种悲悯博大的精神，我明白他所听到的梦话一定与我有关，我明白这个人虽明白了这事也仍然是毫无芥蒂，且即想在这个错误上加以一种最妥当的补救方法。他理解我而且信任我，他很费了一些思索才会说出这样话来。他一定已经同妇人说了什么话，将给我一个机会同妇人商量处置的方法，他且告给了我下午才会返身，是明明白白说到有许多话许多事情是可以在他没有回家以前办好的。我懂到这个人的意思，平时饶舌的技能，一切皆在一个奇怪的敌人面前失去了。 我想他既然这样了解我，我也不能再在他面前有所掩饰了，就一句话不说，同他紧紧的握了一下手，这牧师，用他慈悲而又羡慕的眼光望了我一眼，抹哪那秃头，走出去了。 我等了一会，才走到女人房中去。 “×，××牧师走了，要我留到这里陪你。”我说过了这话，就坐在床旁一张椅子上望到女人的脸。 妇人想了一阵，象是对于我这句话加以一种精密的分析，又象是在另外一件事上作一种遐想，到后才轻轻的说，“你过来一点。”我坐近了一点，把一只手放在那女人嘴边，女人吻了我那手一下，低声的问我，“××同你说了些什么话？” “他告我你晚上发烧，说梦话说得很多。他似乎完全明白了我们的事情。他好象一夜都没有睡觉。我不知道他怎么样虐待了你。” 女人说，“他虐待我吗？是的，这真是虐待！他知道我们要逃走，他是并没有说什么重话的。他并不向我说过一句使我伤心的话。他只说人太年青了，总免不了常常要做一点任性的事情。他说年青人永远不会懂老年人。他说我的自由并不因为嫁了他而失掉，但应当明白的做一切负责的事情。他说你是一个好情人，他毫无干涉我们接近的意思，他只愿意我们不要以为他是一个顽固的老年人，对于他抱一种误解的责难，就够了。……他对于我就是这种虐待。”女人说过后，就哭了。 我也被这老东西的话虐待了。我的聪明，我的机智，我的种种做人的进取的美德，为这个精巧的谎话所骗，完全摧毁无余，想维护那个三日前的主张，无论如何也不能够了。 我们逃走的计划，自然是办不到了。我因为这突然的转变，我感到应当牺牲的是我自己了。 我终于在这个牧师回家以前，返到朋友家中，稍稍坐了一会。就转××去了。 （我说，那你就这样输给那牧师了么？）我输了。只输过这样一回。因为这次的事情，使我的性格也大变了。我懂女人，越懂女人也越不能把自己跌在一件恋爱上，所以现在真就成为“素人”了。 那女人我到后是仍然见到的，她还来找过我一次。可是我感到一点伤心，我好象只是用一种热情来把女人的身体得到，那无限温柔的心，还仍然是那牧师的。我对于那牧师，在我心上增加了一种惭愧。我没有理由再到那里去了。这人第一面似乎就明白我同他谈话，就只是为得同他年青的美丽的妻亲近。他早就看得出我的目的。他早知道他的妻会同我做出一点不检点的事。如今听到要逃走了，仍然毫不激动，只以为应当看清楚周围有非逃不可的时候，再来计划到这与社会习惯相违的行为。他知道怎样采取了最聪明的方法，使我们毫不因为这发现感到难堪。这成精的人，这有道行有魔力的男子，在他面前他使我自己看出自己的愚蠢，我一个人终于逃走了。 当朋友把故事谈到最后时，我笑了。因为我不相信这故事的发展与结束。我说，“一个那么长于理论的人，在这件事上，是还缺少一个必需失败的充分理由的。” “要明白理由么？我先前不是说过，我总是把我所爱的女人，为她选上一个与她最相宜的男子这件事么？我是一个好情人，却并不是一个好丈夫，我不能在恋爱上扮小丑，就只是这一个理由，那女人我就再也不见面了。” “难道就这样结束么？” “你以为应当怎么样结束呢？” ... 到后我们出去时，走到山门边，买桂花栗子，朋友正弯下腰去拾栗子，见有一个年青女人正想下轿，后面一个轿子上的中年男子，象是那女人的父亲，就用北方话说，“天气夜了，不要看那些鱼。”两顶藤轿就从山门外走过，向岳坟路上，消失在那几株老栗树后了。那时天气的确已经快要断黑，天上的霞已经作深紫色，朋友忽然象有了心事，问我是不是常常为一种天气把自己的性格变化，我说这变化是有的，但只是暂时，不是永远。他却说，他是与我不同的。因为我那时在吃栗子看天上的霞，他也在吃栗子看天上的霞，我们就没有再说什么话。 回到旅馆朋友说明天想返上海，因为什么我是不明白的，当时我曾用笑话说，“是不是仍然还得过××去作那牧师座上的嘉宾？”朋友点点头，接着就狂笑了许久。 早上看时报，看到××通讯，想起那正是朋友所说故事发生的那县分，我发生一种莫可名言的兴味，过细看了一下内容。上面说：……××牧师，被十七夜的窑市变兵戕杀后，已有三名变兵被七营捉获解剩当时把那报纸剪下，想到去问问一个与那朋友常常通信的熟人，问了许多人皆说听说是在唐山煤矿公司总务科做事。 我正想把这剪下的报纸寄去，朋友却正从北平来信告我，最近已经同一个协和医学院的女生订婚了，这独身的计划的变更，是完全在玉泉谈那故事以后望到天上红霞所生的新的生活态度。看了那个信，我把它连同那一片剪下的报纸一起丢到火炉里，望到它燃过后作浅蓝色火焰，许久未熄，我心上象完全为什么所蚀空的模样，仿佛成为一个悲剧的中心人物，痴了许久。 作于一九三○年