Chapter 98 Cat Town (19)

Xiao Scorpion is a pessimist.I can't help but discount his words.However, I have personally witnessed the students graduating before enrolling and slaughtering the principal and teachers; no matter how much I doubt Xiaoxie's words, I have no way to refute him.I can only inquire from other aspects. "So, there are no scholars in Cat Country?" I asked. "Yes. And a lot." I saw that Xiaoxie was about to joke again.Sure enough, without waiting for me to ask, he went on to say: "A large number of scholars is a sign of cultural superiority, but on the other hand, it is also a phenomenon of cultural decline. It depends on how you define scholars. Naturally, I will not give scholars A definition, but if you'd like to see our scholars, I can call them."

"Come on, you mean?" I corrected him. "Call! Please, they won't come. You don't know the temper of our scholars; you just wait and see! Fan, go and call some of the scholars and say that I will give them fan leaves to eat. Call Xing, Hua We will help you find them separately." Going out with a smile on his face. I seemed to have nothing to ask, and I just waited for the scholar. Xiaoxie brought some fan leaves, and we both chewed slowly, with a mischievous smile on his face. Mihexing, Hua, and a few other women came back first, and sat in a circle to surround me.Everyone looked at me with an air of wanting to speak but not daring to speak. "Be careful," Xiaoxie smiled at me, "Someone is going to interrogate you!" They all laughed.Mi said first: "We want to ask something, okay?"

"Okay. But, I don't know much about women." I also learned Xiaoxie's smile and tone. "Tell us, what is your woman like?" Everyone asked almost unanimously. I knew I would answer very interestingly: "Our girl, put white powder on her face." Everyone said "Oh". "The hair is neatly arranged, some are long, some are short, some are parted, some are pulled back, and they are all rubbed with perfume and sesame oil." Everyone opened their mouths wide, and looked at each other's short hair. Mao, they all shut their mouths again, as if extremely disappointed. "There are pendants hanging on the ears, some are pearls, some are gemstones, and the pendants shake back and forth as they walk." Everyone touched the small ears on the head, and some—probably flowers—seemed to pull the ears off. "Wear the most beautiful clothes, even though you are wearing clothes, but try to show some muscles, looming, it looks better than you who are completely naked." I kind of deliberately joked with fans: "Naked body only has the beauty of muscles, But the color of the muscles is too consistent. Wearing clothes of various colors, they are both radiant and colorful. Therefore, although our women are not opposed to being naked, they still wear something in the hottest summer. They also wear shoes. , leather, satin, all with high soles, with beads on the toe and flowers embroidered on the heel, do they look good?" I waited for their answer.No one made a sound, and everyone's mouths became a capital "O". "In ancient times, our women bound their feet so small," I pinched my thumb and index finger together for comparison, "now I don't bind my feet at all, instead—" Everyone didn't wait for me to say After finishing this sentence, they all uttered: "Why don't you wrap it up? Why don't you wrap it up? Confused! The feet are so small, how beautiful, and the little toes are inlaid with a small bead, how beautiful!" Everyone seemed to be really moved. , I had no choice but to comfort them: "Don't be busy, wait until I finish! They don't bind their feet, but they all wear high-soled shoes, and the toes are here," I pointed to the tip of my nose, "The heels are here," I pointed The top of the head, "It can increase the height of the body by five inches. It looks good, and the socket of the foot bone is broken, and sometimes you have to walk against the wall, and if you break a bottom, you can jump up and down. What!" Everyone was satisfied, but the more satisfied they were with the women on earth, the more disappointed they were with themselves, and they all gently hid their feet under their legs.

I waited for them to ask me some other questions.Well, everyone seems to be fascinated by high-soled shoes: "How high are the soles, you say?" asked one. "There are flowers on the shoes, don't they?" asked another. "Is there a creaking sound when you walk?" asked another one. "How did the bones of the feet break? Did they break naturally when I put on the shoes, or did I bend the bones of the feet before putting on the shoes?" Another asked. "Made of leather? Can human skin work?" asked another. "Embroidery? What flower? What color?" asked another.

If I knew how to make tanners and shoes, I could have made a fortune then, I could see.I was about to tell them that our girls can do more than wear high-soled shoes, when the scholars arrived. "Missing," said Xiaoxie, "go and prepare the fancier juice." Then she said to the flowers, "Go and discuss high-soled shoes elsewhere." Eight scholars came, entered the door and saluted Xiao Xie, then sat on the ground, all raising their faces and looking up, they didn't even bother to give me a glance. Mi brought the fan leaf juice, everyone drank it slowly and closed their eyes, as if they didn't bother to look at me anymore.

It's just right that they don't look at me; I just look at them carefully.The eight scholars were all extremely thin and dirty, with two pockets of dust in the small ears on the head, two piles of spittle on the corners of their mouths, and their movements were extremely slow, many times more sinister and slower than the movements of the big scorpions. Miye's power seemed to reach the root of life, everyone opened their eyes and looked up again.Suddenly one said: "Are the scholars in Cat Kingdom my number one?" The other seven were moved by this sentence, some scratched their heads, some gritted their teeth, some put their fingers in their mouths, and then said together: "You are number one? Even your father counts, no, even Your grandfather is a total jerk!"

I thought it was about to start a fight.Who knows, the one who claimed to be the number one scholar laughed instead, probably because he was used to being scolded. "My grandfather, my father, and myself have studied astronomy for three lifetimes. What are you! Foreigners use many instruments and mirrors to study astronomy. We have been passed down from generation to generation to use only the naked eye, which is not a skill; We pay attention to seeing the relationship between astronomy and life, can foreigners understand this? Yesterday I watched the sky at night, and the literary star was above my head. Who are the domestic scholars?" "If I stand under the literary star , it is on my head!" Xiao Xie said with a smile. "My lord is very right!" The astronomer fell silent.

"Your Excellency is absolutely right!" The other seven also made up for it.For a long time, everyone was silent. "Say it!" Xiaoxie ordered. One said: "Are the scholars in Cat Country my number one?" He turned his eyes around. "Astronomy can be regarded as learning? No one knows, it doesn't count! You must be able to read characters first, and calligraphy is the only knowledge. I have studied calligraphy for 30 years. For 30 years, who of you dare not admit that I am the number one scholar? Who dares?" "Put your mother's fart on!" Everyone said together.

Physiologists are not as honest as astronomers. They grabbed a scholar and shouted: "Who are you talking about? You pay my debt first. Did you lend me a lost leaf that day? Pay me back, pay me back at that time, Otherwise, if I don’t screw your head off, I won’t be counted as the number one scholar!” "I will lend you a lost leaf, just rely on me, a world-renowned scholar, to lend you a lost leaf, let me go, don't dirty my arm!" "Eat other people's fan leaves and don't admit it. Well, you wait. When I write a general theory of calligraphy, you will exclude your surname. As the number one scholar in China, I will tell the world that there is no one in ancient Chinese characters. There is no surname at all, just wait!"

The scholar who borrowed the lost leaf and refused to accept it was a little scared, and begged Xiao Xie: "My lord, my lord! Lend me a lost leaf quickly so that I can pay him back! My lord knows that I am the number one scholar in the country, but scholars are not People with money. Since poverty is real, maybe I borrowed him a piece of fanciful leaves to eat, but I don’t quite remember. My lord, I have to ask you one more thing. It’s okay for others to not have lost leaves, but we scholars, especially me, the first scholar, how can we learn without lost leaves? You see, my lord, I have recently researched that our ancient criminal law does have the theory of flaying alive. I will soon write an article and dedicate it to my lord, begging him to forward it to the emperor so that this interesting and historically based criminal law can be revived. Is this discovery the first scholar? Alphabet, what? ! Only history is true knowledge!"

"Is history written in words? Give me back a lost leaf!" The philologist is very firm. Xiao Xie asked Mi to take a fan leaf to the historian, and the historian pinched half of it and handed it to the philologist, "Return it to you, it shouldn't be!" The philologist took half of the fan leaf, gritted his teeth and said, "Give me half less! Just wait, I won't be blamed if I don't steal your wife!" Hearing the word "wife", the scholars seemed very excited, and said to Xiaoxie together: "My lord, my lord! Why should we scholars have one wife each, and are so anxious to steal other people's wives? We are scholars, my lord!" , we win glory for the country, we preserve the knowledge left by our ancestors for future generations, why shouldn't each person have at least three wives?" Xiao Xie was speechless. "Let's talk about stars. A big star always has several small stars. This is true for celestial bodies, and so is human nature. As a first scholar, I prove that a person should have several wives; what's more, my wife's ' is not easy to use!" "Let's talk about the font. In ancient times, most of the characters were created next to the female character, which shows that there should be many wives. As the first scholar, I prove that there should be more than one wife; besides , "It is inconvenient to write down the following words. The scholars took the status of the first scholars to prove that wives should be in the majority, and they all produced evidence that is inconvenient to write.I can only say that the woman in the eyes of this group of scholars is just "that". Xiao Xie didn't say a word. "Is your lord tired? We, we, we," "Mi, give them some more fan leaves and tell them to get lost!" Xiaoxie said with her eyes closed. "Thank you, my lord, for your understanding!" Everyone read together. Mi brought Mi Ye, and everyone grabbed it. While saluting and thanking Xiao Xie, they scolded each other and walked out. Just as this group of scholars went out, another group of young scholars entered.It turned out that they had been waiting outside for a long time, because they were afraid of meeting the elderly scholars, so they waited for a long time.Old and new scholars encounter at least two lives. This group of young scholars looks much better, not thin, not dirty, and very lively.Come in, first salute to Mi, then greet me, and then sit down.I feel better, and feel that there is still hope for the cat country. Xiao Xie whispered in my ear: "These are all scholars who have been abroad for several years and know everything." Fan brought fan leaves, everyone was very lively competing to eat happily, my heart was cold again. After eating the fan leaves, everyone started talking.What are they talking about?I don't understand a word!I have learned a lot of new words from Xiaoxie, but I can't understand the words of these scholars.I only heard some voices: Gulu Baji, Didong Didong, Hualavsky... What is it? I was a little anxious, because I was eager to understand what they were saying, and they kept telling me, but I couldn't answer at all, I just nodded and smirked like a fool. "What is Mr. Foreign wearing on his lap?" "Pants," I replied, a little confused. "What did you do?" asked a young scholar. "How did you do it?" asked another. "What degree does wearing trousers represent?" asked another. "Is there a class in your country with trousers and a class without trousers?" Another asked. How can I answer it?I had to pretend to be silly and smirk. Everyone seemed disappointed that I didn't get an answer, and they all came over and touched my torn pants with their hands. After reading the pants, everyone grunted again, Didong Didong, Hualavsky... Wake up, I'm almost suffocated! After everyone had finally left, I asked Xiaoxie what they were talking about. "What did you ask me?" Xiaoxie said with a smile, "Who should I ask? They didn't say anything." "Varavsky? I remember that." I asked. "Varavsky? And Tontonvsky? Didn't you hear? There are too many! They only combine some foreign nouns together to speak, and others don't understand it, and they don't understand it themselves. They just listen to the excitement. Yes. Those who speak like this are new-style scholars. I know that Hualavsky’s words are getting lucky in recent days, no matter what happens, it’s all Hualavsky, parents beat children, emperors eat fan leaves, scholars commit suicide, it’s all flowers Lavsky. In fact, this word is referred to as 'chemical effect'. When you meet them again, you just talk nonsense. They think you are a scholar. For nouns, no need to worry about verbs, as for adjectives, just add the word '的' under Fusiji." "What do you mean by looking at my pants?" I asked. "Fans ask about high-soled shoes, new scholars ask about trousers, the same effect. Young scholars are women, they pay attention to cleanliness, beauty and fashion, old scholars pay attention to the one that captures women directly, new scholars pay attention to flattery. Just wait and see. It would be strange if young scholars put on pants for a few days." I felt that the air in the room was too sad, so I ignored Xiao Xie and walked out.Outside the door, a group of women were leaning on the wall, with two bricks under their heels, practicing walking on their toes.