Chapter 62 You can never think of 9-(Xue Feng)

Everything about me is pretty good right now. To be honest, it is not easy for a person of my age to have the luck I have.People should be happy with contentment.Leaving aside the fact that a large number of people my age are unemployed in cities and working in rural areas, even after graduating from university, it is very difficult to enter an ideal work unit. And now I am an official editor of a famous literary journal. After I worked in the editorial department, I was liked by almost all the old comrades.Since there are many old people in this unit, now a young man has come in, and everyone is very happy.Of course I was assigned to be an editor in the poetry group.

There are three people in this group including me, and I have been familiar with them before.One of them was on creative leave, and I was on duty with another old editor.This old editor is called Wu Jie, and he often publishes poems in newspapers and periodicals all over the country. He is a poet I admire very much.Lao Wu let me read the first draft.He reminded me that if I think it is good, I can fill in a manuscript and send it to him; if not, I can return it directly. I sat down at my desk with a mountain of manuscripts and got to work.Although the workload is heavy, I am in high spirits.There is something sacred and majestic about this work.I, a young man in his early twenties, are like a judge, making judgments on the manuscripts of countless people every day.Some people will be filled with joy; some people will be disappointed-of course, most people will be disappointed.Because there are too many contributors, and each issue of the journal only publishes poems on a dozen pages, the number of selected poems is extremely limited.

Every day, I put a large number of poems in envelopes, took them to the mail room and returned them, and only selected a few dozen poems to send to Lao Wu for review.And Lao Wu thought I gave too much, so he asked me to select more.Generally speaking, I pay more attention to homework writers who are beginners in poetry writing.Because I have just started publishing poems myself, I know what it feels like for a person to publish a poem on "North".I am willing to let many strange young friends taste the joy and happiness brought by the first published works. But in practice, these poems are difficult to publish.This is not to say that the level of these poems is set, mainly because the author is not well-known.Most of the publications published in each issue are the works of celebrities and poetry editors of foreign publications.Manuscripts from celebrities generally don’t reach my desktop. Authors usually send them directly to Lao Wu or Lao Lin who is on vacation; some even send them directly to the editor-in-chief himself;

Sometimes, Lao Wu would show me the works of a famous poet in China.Of course, this does not mean to let me see if I can publish it, but to let me learn.The poems of these famous people, even if they are utter nonsense, are usually submitted for publication. Old Wu sometimes asked me for my opinion on these poems.I have learned to be slick, no matter how well the poems of these famous people are written, I will praise them greatly as usual. But Lao Wu sometimes said disapprovingly: "I think it's completely mediocre!" Mediocre?Yes, mediocrity.But why are you publishing it again?

Anyway, all this has nothing to do with me - it doesn't prevent me from publishing poetry.I have only been here for seven or eight months, and I have already published more than a dozen poems in publications across the country.It is very strange that every time the poems are sent to foreign publications, almost none of them are returned, and all of them are published.No wonder.Because I myself became a poetry editor.Soon, some well-known poets from other places also began to write on the envelopes when sending their works: "Accepted by Wu Jie and Xue Feng".It means that I too have become a character.

Lao Wu is very satisfied with me and often speaks well of me in the editor's office. He should be happy with me.In addition to trying my best to complete the work he assigned me, all the chores in the group, including sweeping the floor, wiping the table, and turning on the water, were all done by myself.This editorial department is a unit that engages in art, but it also pays attention to art in daily life.Although there are no quarrels here, it is not harmonious.Some silent quarrels are worse than vocal ones.The notion of hierarchy is obvious.Everyone should understand their status in any place, and speak and act in a way that is appropriate to their status.You can't act too incompetent.Incompetence has no place here.In the long run, maybe even the administrative staff will dismiss you, and maybe you will be forgotten even when the movie tickets are issued.The swearing at people here is not beating, scolding and reprimanding, but simply forgetting about you.

Of course, you can't show your talents to the fullest.No matter how brilliant your opinion is, you must first express it in a humble way, otherwise someone will leave your good opinion aside and focus on your method and attitude, giving you a bad evaluation.Here is the same as anywhere, there are also people who are good at right and wrong. Their work and creation are very mediocre.Seeing who has a good job or ability, I specifically attack them, and I always want to make these people as despicable and incompetent as myself before I give up.In short, for a young man, in such an environment, the wisest way is to bury his head in his work, undertake the heaviest labor in silence, and leave all the honor and limelight to other comrades.I was careful in the beginning.Everything seems to be doing well.

My blood is too young after all.Soon, although I suppressed the burning, I couldn't suppress the uproar.I am eager to exercise, but there is not a piece of sports equipment here.The main forms of exercise for the old comrades are jogging and Tai Chi.I want to sing, but yelling is the worst taboo here.I want to talk to someone in heaven and earth, but it is definitely a shallow expression here.Here everything should appear serious, quiet and scholarly. Only after I get off work can I restore myself to a young man - when I go to work, I have to walk slowly, talk slowly, and try to look like a mature person.

Had dinner after get off work.I rode the "permanent" bicycle bought with the accumulated royalties and threw myself into the flow of people on the street. This street, which is always boiling and moving, always gives people indescribable happiness. Sometimes I don't have any destination, just riding a bike and drifting through the crowd.Of course, most of them are purposeful: usually they go to watch sports games, movies, or cultural performances.I like phonograms and cabaret evenings, but I don't like theatre--especially traditional theatre.But the place I go to the most is the Dramatists Association - because my friend Yue Zhiming works there.After working in the society, Yue Zhiming and I still maintain a close relationship.I have no acquaintances in this city except the comrades at work, and of course Yue Zhiming is still an important partner in my life.

Every few days, I always like to go to Yue Zhiming's dormitory to soak for a while.He has a stereo tape recorder and many cassettes, and he can listen to fashionable pop songs at home and abroad.He didn't know where to get a lot of messy entertainment books, which he could read while lying on his bed.If there is any in-house movie, Zhiming will always find a way to get tickets.He is also not interested in opera, and is trying to engage in TV dramas.Of course he can't do without me, and I often help him conceive and revise.A TV script we cooperated with was selected by a TV station in another province.Later, the TV station notified that the script propaganda department had not passed it, so it would not be filmed.It made the two of us very happy-to celebrate this event, we had already had a big meal at the Xihua Hotel.

To tell you the truth, my name is already well-known in the literary and art circles of this province. When I go to other units in the province to hold meetings, they also start sending me invitations. At the same time, I receive letters and letters from many professional writers every day. A draft of the poem that comes with the letter.Writes to me with the utmost reverence, and blows my poetry to the skies. When working in the editorial department, many authors came to deliver poem manuscripts in person.Although some of them are old enough to be my father, they keep calling me "Teacher Xue".It was very uncomfortable to listen to at first, but then I gradually got used to it.In short, I now know more and more how glorious my current position is. Yes, "Northern" is a provincial publication, and there are only three poetry editors—— I am one of the three! In addition to my salary, I now earn tens of yuan in manuscript fees every month.This allows me to buy some high-quality fashion clothes, and I can also go to high-end restaurants like the Sherwood Hotel for dinner from time to time.I have a good job, I am respected, and I am not short of money. Can I be unhappy?There are also bad times.I think of Xiaofang from time to time.Thinking of her is like a dark cloud that blocks the sun and casts a shadow over my bright state of mind. Don't think that after we have been apart for so long, you will think that I have forgotten her.No, I won't forget. Sometimes, when I was walking among the crowds on the street, I would suddenly stop and stand on the road in a daze—because I thought of her... I often think of the times we used to be together; of the sweet, soulful love she had for me.I never imagined that we are now separated by two places... Where is she now? Of course it was in the desert covered by wind and sand.She has already written to tell me—oh, how little correspondence we have since then! We continued our debate on paper when we started the correspondence.I asked her to come back and she asked me to go back.In the end, no one could convince anyone.By the end, the two had hardly anything to say but wrote to each other like friends—with long intervals between them.The flow of time has washed away the accumulation of our feelings, but it still can't get rid of all of them... At this time, some enthusiastic old comrades in the editorial department began to care about my object.Many people wanted to introduce me to girls who were said to be outstanding, but I politely declined.But recently, I have been suffering more and more from this matter. Although I don't want to admit it, real life still makes me realize clearly: the possibility of me and Xiaofang finally getting married is getting smaller and smaller; even if I cut off my love for her emotionally, real life also forces me to In the end, we had to go our separate ways with her.Plus, my age is such that I don't just miss a girl I can't see, but need a girl to be with me in actual life. Whenever I am on the street or in the park, I see some passionate girls holding the young man's arm and walking, I get a strong stimulus.I also very much long to have a girl walk on my arm. I dare say that there are not many girls who like me.Some are my female classmates who stayed in this city and they often come to chat with me.Sometimes some women writers who are interested in poetry creation often come to "ask" me with their works, in fact, they show their love to me.But I despise none of them.Because all the people appeared in front of me, they were actually standing in front of a mirror——this mirror was Zheng Xiaofang.They couldn't compare to Xiaofang's.In addition to being beautiful, my Xiaofang has a rare quality for women: simple, never artificial, and full of sacrifice.But now I just have to face reality.I just can't stand the lonely life of a bachelor now.Yue Zhiming understood my mood.there is a sunday.He suddenly led his cousin to my dormitory.He mentioned before that he would let me meet his cousin, but I said at the time that I had no such intention.Now, this guy actually led her to me! Yue Zhiming's cousin is undoubtedly a beautiful girl.The beauty even surprised me.Her name is He Min, and she has the figure of a dancer, her face is as smooth as white marble; the most fashionable clothes set her off like a magnolia flower in bloom. Hermione is very generous.After arriving at my dormitory, she chatted with me freely.Through the conversation, I feel that her knowledge is still small, and it is not superficial. I admit that I was immediately moved and fell in love with her.I thought at the time that if I appeared in a public place together with her, it would definitely attract a lot of envious looks.Although I won't know all about her yet, I'm definitely in love with her. Yue Zhiming stayed for a while before slipping away with an excuse. On this day, He Min and I stayed alone for a long time.In the afternoon, we even went to Xihua Hotel to have a western meal together. God!I never imagined that I started a relationship with another girl...