Chapter 60 You can never think of 7-(Zheng Xiaofang)

It seemed that everything was irreparable. But I still feel uneasy every day, waiting for Xue Feng to suddenly appear in front of me and tell me: He has changed his mind and will walk with me... Sometimes, when I lie in the dormitory, I hear When the sound of footsteps came, my heart couldn't help beating, wondering if he came to find me?Whoever knocked on my door, I opened it with a kind of ecstatic luck, hoping that it would be him instead of someone else.I have wandered countless times at the school gate in the evening, waiting for his arrival.Or at the bus stop not far from the school gate, I searched for him again and again among the passengers who got off the bus.Once, I seemed to see him finally get off the bus in the middle of a group of people. When I was about to call out his name in ecstasy, I realized that it was not him, but someone who looked very similar to him. a youth.

All night long I sleepless, grieve, and sigh; but every now and then I have a glimmer of hope. However, with the passage of time, this hope is getting closer and closer to being dashed day by day.In two days, I will be away from here and live in a new environment. When I came to this city four years ago, I was accompanied by someone else.When I leave here four years later, am I alone? From a long time ago, all my considerations about my future life have been closely linked with that other person.Not so long ago, I imagined with such sweetness how we would live together in that strange place.what!Had it all been a dream for so many years?

Dream.How long has this dream been... Perhaps he was waiting for me in the same mood?Yes, he probably held out hope every day, waiting for me to suddenly appear in front of him and tell him that I would stay and live with him—he must also be insomnia, sad and sighing.I seem to see her skinny due to financial suffering, her eyes are darkened (or swollen) due to long-term insomnia, her hair is like a pile of messy grass, and she walks unsteadily... I admit that I wavered for a moment, trying to appease him by sacrificing my ambition.Once, I jumped on the bus to their school like crazy. But just as the car was about to start, I jumped down again.No, I can't do that.This cost too much.This means changing the way I live my whole life, and I can't make a lifelong mistake because of my impulse...

Tomorrow, I'm leaving!Bedding and luggage are packed and ready to be checked in.It's just that the two pieces of white cloth with the address and name of the recipient have not been sewn on. The students were all packing their luggage, reluctantly saying goodbye to each other.The group photo has already been taken, and good friends are taking photos together on campus or under the school badge at the gate.Enduring the pain, I was dragged by a group of female students including Li Hong to take a few group photos at the school gate.The classmate with the camera told a joke to make everyone laugh before pressing the shutter.Everyone laughed.From time to time, there is a hard sob in my throat...

The unbearable pain for me was that Xue Feng didn't even come to see me off at the end.Man, how can he be so ruthless! Maybe some people don't understand me now, and even blame me for being in such a state, how can they still love this Xue Feng?No.My love is as deep as ever.If this were not the case, perhaps I would not feel undue pain at this moment.In fact, my pain is getting worse now.People's love for others cannot be cut off just because the other person has made a mistake-if so, maybe this is not true love.Human love is sometimes more complicated than any other emotion, and this profound phenomenon cannot be judged by the ordinary point of view of right and wrong, and you already know that, as far as we are concerned, this feeling that is closer than flesh and blood, It has gone so far...

There was a graduation dinner in the department in the afternoon, and I bit the bullet to deal with it. This is a very emotional place.Everything is immersed in Yiyi's farewell.Some places are laughing, some places are crying.Those male and female students who have confirmed their relationship are now sitting next to each other generously.A male student who was drunk was reciting Guo Xiaochuan's "Toast Song" with a wild voice.Then, the male and female students recited their favorite poems one by one.Of course I didn’t read aloud, but I silently recited a few words from Byron in my heart: No matter where I wander, you will always be a ball of cherished affection and a ball of regret in my heart... The dinner is going on enthusiastically, and I am very grateful to you. This last sumptuous meal did not even stir the chopsticks.In the middle, I withdrew on the pretext of being uncomfortable.

I wandered around the campus aimlessly by myself. The setting sun was setting, and the soft light slanted from the gaps in the trees, like strands of golden yellow silk threads.The chorus of grasshoppers on the tree is still coming and going.There was a soft violin sound in the distance—it was not pulled out, it seemed to be playing a recording, it was the concerto "Blessed Lovers".I didn’t know when I had turned out of the school gate, and came to the bus stop again—it didn’t seem like my thoughts instructed me to come here, but my two legs decided to come here. What am I doing here?I know what I'm here for.

But I can't tell what I'm here for. Am I going to find him?Am I waiting for him here?I can't tell. But I know very well how much I want to see him--because I'm leaving tomorrow!I thought: since I won't go and tell him I'm staying, there's no reason for me to go to him again... But, my dear!You are at this last moment, come see me again!Give me your blessing, give me your last kiss.You know, in the past I always took your strong hand to go on the road together, but now I am going to travel alone... The sun smiled and disappeared from behind a building in the distance, disappearing on the horizon in the distance .The sky in the west is still bright, and the sky in the east has begun to talk—the day is coming to an end.I stood alone for a while, then turned around and walked quickly to my dormitory. I felt the blood surge violently all over my body!

Yes, now that it's all over, my eyes should be on the front.At this moment, I have never been more aware of my own power.I realized that a new life had begun!No matter how hard it may be ahead, I will not give in and be weak.Who said: Weak, your name is woman.No, men are not all strong and women are not all weak.Let's see!When thinking this way, I even feel the benefits of being alone.Don't worry about it, don't have to be affectionate.Although some of the sweetness is lost, a certain firmness has been added. After I returned to the dormitory, several male classmates who had made an appointment were waiting to go to the train station to check my luggage.I quickly put the two pieces of cloth with my address and name on them on my luggage, and the students carried them away.Now, the dormitory is empty.The people in the same dormitory have already cleaned up their things and took them away.They themselves probably went out to do the last things they should do at this time.I sat down on the bare bed alone, preparing to spend my last night here.The train tickets are available at eight o'clock tomorrow morning.I will take the train for three hours, then transfer to the car, and it will take three days to reach my destination.Tomorrow morning, I will leave here at about six o'clock.In the middle of the night, I lay on the bare bed.I swear I won't sleep tonight.

One night I seemed to hear countless voices, saw countless pictures and people, and said countless words in my heart... Of course, most of the words were said to Xue Feng.I don't know when I fell asleep.When I fell asleep, I had countless dreams.When I woke up, it was five o'clock. I quickly got up from the bed, washed my face, and quickly packed my bag.I gotta go.Originally, I avoided a few female classmates who didn't leave, and agreed to take me to the train station.I'm not going to wake them up now either. I left my dormitory, pinned a note to the door of the room where these female students lived, and wrote a few words of affection on it, and quietly left the house where I had lived for four years. place.

As I stepped through the gates of the School of Forestry, I glanced back at it again.I couldn't help but burst into tears.dear mother!You have given me knowledge in four years and also cultivated me into a person who can live and work independently.I will miss you forever, and I will live up to your kindness in nurturing me.By the way, teachers and classmates!Although, my lake-like woods and green lawn, and all your smiling flowers on the lawn... After two transfers, I am now at the station square. With a tide of emotion surging in my heart, I carried my bag and followed the long queue of people, slowly entered the station and walked into my car. I put my bag on the luggage rack and sat down in my seat by the window.I looked at my watch, and there were still about ten minutes left before I left the car. I lifted the large glass on the car window, poked my head out, and looked towards the entrance.For some reason, I wish I could see Xue Feng rushing in from that station entrance.Passengers came in one file at a time. Although I didn't hold out any hope, I still kept my eyes on anyone who came in.All faces are strange. Suddenly, the blood all over my body "boomed" to my face! I suddenly saw: Xue Feng rushed in from the pit gate with a big net bag in his hand.is it him?It's him.Yes, it is him—my Xue Feng! My eyes seemed to be covered with a layer of damp fog, and they were blurred all of a sudden.I shouted his name loudly!He heard it, and immediately ran to the car window, stuffed a net bag of fruit, and wiped his face with the back of his hand—was it sweat or tears? He said sadly: "...I didn't know you were leaving today. Why didn't you come to me?...You can't go! What should I do? Come down..." "My luggage has been checked in with the car... Goodbye, Xue Feng, don't forget to write to me often..." "I will always wait for you! I am always ready to welcome you to my side..." "I am always waiting for you too! I am always ready to welcome you to my side..." We are still in our respective realities. The entrance gate is closed. I looked at my watch, and there were only two minutes left to leave the car. The staff at the station came over and told those who got off the bus to see off their relatives and friends to retreat beyond the white line on the platform.I quickly took out my notebook, took out a lilac leaf from it, and handed it to Xue Feng.I picked this leaf just now on campus. There are two pieces in total, one for him and one for me as a souvenir. Xue Feng took the leaf, burst into tears, then left the car window and retreated beyond the white line on the platform.I knew he would clip the green leaf into his notebook and keep it well, and I also knew that the lilac tree leaf would soon wither in his notebook.But, my dear, your heart should always be green.You don't hear people say that green symbolizes life... The whistle roared, and the train trembled violently, like a human heart twitching suddenly, and then it started slowly. Through my dim tears, I saw him running on the platform desperately chasing the train. I stretched out my hand and waved desperately, waved, bid farewell to him, beckoned to him...