Chapter 39 Yellow leaves falling in the autumn wind (23)

Liu Liying reconciled with Lu Ruohua after he apologized.However, from then on, the honeymoon also ended.Some small quarrels appeared from time to time on the dining table or on the bed.Maybe this is the beginning of real family life?Because according to some people, the real life between husband and wife is often accompanied by some small quarrels. But Liying is no longer as lively or frivolous as before.This beautiful woman seemed to grow solemn. Since Bingbing's illness, she has strongly realized the responsibility of a mother.And it pained her that she could not fulfill that responsibility now.

On the other hand, she felt vaguely, or distinctly, that something about her new husband had made her a little uncomfortable. She couldn't tell what the nature of his things were.In short, she knew by feeling that these were not good things. A person who can think seriously will no longer be a frivolous person. Liying's enthusiasm for her new life has undoubtedly waned.On the contrary, the longing for the child has become more and more intense.Bingbing's shadow was swaying in front of her eyes all the time. She sometimes can't sleep all night long.Lu Ruohua's affection for her was already a bit blunt, and she was no longer as obedient to him as she used to be.

During the day, she goes to work in kindergarten as if she were on an errand.When she came back at night, she no longer often sat in front of the TV. She thought of making a cotton coat for Bingbing—because winter was coming.It's not convenient to do this needlework at home, so she took it to the fat sister-in-law's house to do it at night.Although the fat sister-in-law's man is older than Lu Ruohua, he is Lao Lu's subordinate and works as a clerk in the county education bureau.So the family is very warm to her. One night, when the two women were doing needlework under the lamp, the fat sister-in-law accidentally told her that his man came back a few days ago and said that the Education Bureau might transfer Gao Guanghou out of Gaomiao Primary School next semester, saying that he would transfer Gao Guanghou to Gaomiao Primary School. Go to a rural elementary school farthest from the county seat, and say that the place is not even accessible by car...

Liying immediately asked nervously, "Why did you transfer him?" The talkative fat woman hesitated for a moment, smiled secretly, and said, "I heard that your former man and Director Lu's sister are getting married, and Director Lu is very annoyed..." Liying immediately felt a "buzz" in her head. Now she can't care about Gao Guanghou and Lu Ruoqin's long and short.Her first consideration is: Bingbing will be farther and farther away from her!My dear son is going to a deserted place!There was no car, and it was not easy to see him again... She felt a kind of sadness of parting from life and death!

She bid farewell to the fat lady immediately, saying that she was going back to boil the water, and hurried home.Lu Ruohua was leaning over the table to write a report for a deputy county magistrate, and the room was filled with smoke.As soon as she entered the door, she couldn't help asking: "Did you transfer Gao Guanghou's job!" Lu Ruohua raised her head in the smoke, first looked at her in surprise, then lowered her face, and asked, "Who told you that?" Seeing his appearance, Liying asked anxiously, "Then it's true ?” "There are secret agents in this bureau! Damn it! Someone will spread the word if you fart!" Lu Ruohua angrily slammed the pen on the table, stood up, and asked, "Who did you listen to?"

"No matter who said it, I just beg you, don't tune it... It's mainly my baby, he..." Liying choked up and couldn't continue speaking. "Your baby? You remember your baby!" Lu Ruohua roared angrily, "I didn't expect that everything I had was destroyed by my own family! You are like this, and people say that Ruoqin and Gao Guanghou are long and short , do you think I can live or not?" He wiped the corner of his mouth with his fingers, sat down on the chair again, and stared angrily at the mirror on the chair—the person in the mirror also stared angrily at looking at her.

"For the sake of the baby, don't..." Liying choked up and said. "It's Gao Guanghou's, I don't care about it!" Lu Ruohua's face was already a little grim.Seeing him like this, Liying said desperately: "Then this can't be changed? Must it be adjusted?" "It can't be changed!" He said firmly.Then he added: "This is for everyone's benefit..." Liying suddenly calmed down.She thought: Tears will not move this person.She wiped the tears off her face with a handkerchief, and said to the man in woolen clothes: "You are a heartless person..."

"Presumptuous!" Lu Ruohua heard Liying scold him for the first time.How dare she scold the ground!He stood up all of a sudden and shouted at her: "Bastard! Get out of here!" Liying looked at the distorted and ugly face, bit her lips in pain with her teeth, then turned around and left.Liu Liying and Lu Ruohua heated up their family life for a month, and suddenly they were soaked in ice water.Both actually felt an inexpressible distaste for the other.Lu Ruohua scolded her without moving. If Liying said those curse words to outsiders, they probably wouldn't believe that these ugly words came from the mouth of the respected Director Lu.What made it even more unbearable for her was that when he was swearing and insulting her, if a county leader suddenly came, he could immediately restore his mature, polite, and elegant demeanor, which was completely different from a minute ago. Two people.For the rapidity and invisibility of this change, Liu Liying couldn't care less about disgust, but was surprised for a long time, just like a child watching a magic trick.Yes, Lu Ruohua is an actor in real life.When an actor finishes his performance and leaves the stage, he becomes an ordinary person.But Lu Ruohua is acting all the time.His real face was carefully concealed with hypocritical oil paint, even the leaders who often like to sit in the front row can't see it, and the average person may not be able to see it clearly.

But Liu Liying can see clearly now, because he slept in his bed for more than a month and lived such a married life with him. Pain gnawed at her heart like a poisonous snake. Poor woman!She paid such a heavy price.Although everyone can criticize her behavior, in the final analysis, she is looking for a legitimate happiness. Although her pursuit has some disgusting things, as far as she is concerned, she would like her new husband not only in Socially respectable, and a decent man too.In the final analysis, she was born in an honest peasant family, and she has not completely lost the normal view of people and things as an ordinary worker.She now clearly sees that Lu Ruohua is a hypocrite.

It was like a millstone was pressed against her chest.She thought that the disaster would befall her again so soon.She cried out in pain in her heart: This is retribution!Now she even believes that there is a god in the sky, who is dedicated to repay the good and evil in the world.She remembered the old saying: good will be rewarded with good, and evil will be rewarded with evil... what to do?Divorce again?God!In a short period of time, she got divorced twice. Is she still a person?She thought about it and didn't know what to do.It seems that he can only live in such a way.However, it is better to die than to live like this.She hated Lu Ruohua more and more, and Lu Ruohua hated her more and more, often calling her an asshole and telling her to get out.

This afternoon, Lu Ruohua had nothing to do, insisted that she put too much salt in the dish, it was too salty to eat, and started yelling again.She replied a few words, but he actually threw the rice bowl at her face, and sprinkled vegetables and noodles all over her body and face! She couldn't bear it anymore, and threw the bowl at the well-dressed chief.The two started fighting in the house; Lingling also came to help her father, and the father and daughter beat her until she rolled under the bed... The next morning, the two parties went to the court to go through the divorce procedures—the court handled the divorce case very simply, and even avoided the old rules of reconciliation. In the history of contemporary marriages in this county, this incident is also considered an anecdote, so it has aroused widespread interest in the society, and people from all walks of life are discussing it one after another.While the whole city was enthusiastically commenting on this matter, Liu Liying, who was divorced for the second time, returned to her natal family in the countryside.The duties of Chengguan Kindergarten ended with the end of the marriage.It's not that Lu Ruohua dismissed her, but that Liu Liying didn't go anymore—because this job was bestowed on her by Lu Ruohua, and she will never continue to do this job. She bid farewell to a poor family, and bid farewell to a rich family; she left a man without status, and left a man with status.Now she was by herself again. The condemnation of public opinion in their village was all aimed at her.She looked down on Gao Guanghou, but everyone seemed to be able to forgive her.But she didn't get along with a bureau chief in the county, which was probably her fault.Her family also regarded her as a loser, and her brothers and sisters all hated this disgraceful person, and no one paid any attention to her.Even when a relative's child in another village fell ill, the witch concluded that it was caused by her sins. The elderly parents took pity on her and let her live in a small shed next to the cattle pen for the livestock hay.The old couple were so anxious that they fell ill, and both lay down on the kang. Liying herself was crying in this damp hut.Except for going to the toilet, she hardly goes out day and night, and rarely eats.Her fair and tender face was haggard, and her two beautiful eyes were sunken deep in their sockets, and they no longer had the romantic and charming brilliance of the past.Lying in this uninhabited cattle shed, she sadly reviewed her thirty-one years of life.Life stood in front of her like a huge mirror, allowing her to see her own past.She barely recognizes that her, who is she? At this time, she naturally thought of her past home, her first man.Because all that was familiar to her after all, and she was used to it.She remembered how Gao Guanghou loved her and how she tortured him.A deep feeling of guilt filled her heart.She was sorry for that honest man.He is a nice guy.She suddenly remembered a naughty saying in some book: "I'm not poor, I just have no money." Ah, that's not naughty!There is a deep meaning in it!Although Gao Guanghouhe is poor, he is a kind, practical, and reliable person; while Lu Ruohua is rich and powerful, but he has the wrong mind!Exactly!Even his sister resented him!As she thought about it, she wept.The faces of Gao Guanghou and Bingbing flashed before her eyes from time to time.Sometimes, two faces overlap each other...yes, how much they look alike!How can it be different?He is his son... But what's the use of thinking about it now?Now she knows him well and even loves him, but she has lost this right.She knew deeply that she actually tore his heart apart with her cruelty.The wound on that man's heart can only be healed by another hand—her hand is sinful to that heart!Is there anyone to soothe his wounded heart now? Of course there is.That must be Ruoqin.She already knew that the news about the two of them was spreading in the society!From Lu Ruoqin's attitude towards Gao Guanghou (whether it is love or not), she really realized that Gao Guanghou is not what she thought, but a valuable person. "I'm not poor, I just have no money..." She remembered the naughty remark again—no, it wasn't a naughty remark.For some reason, she doesn't quite believe the story about Gao Guanghou's Lu Ruoqin is true now, because Guanghou is more than ten years older than Ruoqin (in fact, she doesn't want to believe it).But why can't this be true?Lu Ruohua is many years older than her, didn't she also follow him?Besides, didn't she feel that Lu Ruoqin had a crush on Gao Guanghou when she was in Gaomiao, right?She is also a very independent girl, and it is entirely possible to combine with Guang Hou.Alas, she also has that qualification.Liying knew that for more than a month, Ruoqin was actually Bingbing's mother! When she thought of Bingbing, she felt a little unbearable pain.He is her only hope of living in this world.If it wasn't for Bingbing, maybe she would have jumped off the bridge in the county after she divorced Lu Ruohua that day! You are living now, but how can you live on?She and Lu Ruohua have already broken up; it is impossible for Gao Guanghou to go back there.what should I do?Go and marry another man?This is never possible!She can't make the same mistake again and again!She's had enough of it!The so-called happiness is no longer there.She ruined her life herself. But, no matter what, for Bingbing, she still wants to live, live miserably, and live to see her Bingbing grow up... She thought again and again: Will her soldiers hate her when they grow up?If he doesn't hate, will he pity her?Will he forgive his mother's mistakes when she was young? She thought, if one day, Bingbing doesn't forgive her, then she is not going to live in this world anymore... After several days, Liying got up from the bed and opened the door of the dilapidated thatched cottage , come outside.The autumn sun still shines brightly on the earth.The river here is wider than that of the Gaomiao, and stretches flatly to the Laoniu Mountain in the distance.In the Chuan Dao, some of the crops have been cut down, and some are still growing in the ground, far and near, all golden.The clear and clear Dama River meanders from Laoniu Mountain, and the water surface is shining brightly by the sun.Dear Mahe!Dear Da Ma Ho Chuan!This water, this land once raised her, but she didn't live well... Rubbing her swollen eyes, she couldn't help but look up at the mountain ridge to the south.Behind the mountain ridge is the Gaomiao.As long as you follow the winding path on the mountain ridge, you can walk to the other side of the mountain, walk to the dusty simple road, and walk to a place where she has lived for several years; you can see dear little soldier , you can see... Her nose was sour, and tears gushed out of her swollen eyes again. Standing by the sword and crying for a while, she suddenly remembered: Bingbing's birthday will be in nine days.She immediately decided: no matter what, she would go to see her child on this day.Even if she wasn't in Gaomiao, she would try to get the child out to see her in another place... She went back to the little thatched hut, planning what presents she would prepare for the child's birthday... Liying's heart is completely occupied by the child's birthday. She began to carefully prepare birthday gifts for Bingbing.She first made him a pair of small cotton shoes with tiger heads.Cotton shoes are made of various colored cloths to form a pattern, which is as delicate as a handicraft.Her needlework is as delicate and colorful as her person.Then she made another smock for the child.The front of the jacket and the lower part of the trouser legs are embroidered with little white rabbits and several beautiful flowers.As for the cotton coat, she has already made it.She did these tasks day and night with the care of a mother.One stitch at a time, pouring her heart and soul into it, pouring all her loving feelings into it.The kerosene lamp in the small straw hut had blackened her cheeks; her eyes were swollen from excessive tears; her trembling hands could hardly hold a small needle.But she has been sitting there cross-legged, with her head bowed, pouring her heart and blood into those clothes through that needle. In the middle of the night, the mountain village fell into a silent sleep, only the sound of the cows chewing grass next door could be heard.She has been sitting in front of the lamp, doing these tasks carefully and slowly.This labor brought some comfort to her aching heart.The reason why she did it slowly was that she was afraid of doing the work too quickly—then she would fall into pain again. She calculated day by day, waited day by day, and looked forward to that day... Bingbing's birthday was approaching day by day, and the blood in her body was flowing faster, and her heart was beating violently.Until now, she still can't think of how she can meet Bingbing.She just wants to see Bingbing.Although she also wanted to see the other two people, she felt ashamed to see them again.Maybe only Bingbing in the world would not dislike her, would not look at her differently—yes, only Bingbing, Bingbing!The villagers and family members avoided her as if they were avoiding an ominous monster.She also avoided everyone, staying in that little hut day and night.The bright sun outside and the bright earth no longer belong to her. After she tidied up the clothes, shoes and socks she had made for Bingbing, she did the math, and the day after tomorrow was the child's birthday!The day after tomorrow is the child's birthday!So what should she do tomorrow?Lying quietly on the bed again to suffer, to shed tears? She suddenly remembered that there would be a market in the county tomorrow, so she simply went to the market.Buy some more things for Bingbing at the fair—these things alone are too few.Besides, she still has some money on hand.But she thought again, how could she have the nerve to show up in the county again?She had known a lot of people there--a lot of respectable people: how embarrassing it would have been for them to see her.At the same time, there will definitely be many people pointing at the back of their heads and talking about her. No, she thought she still had to go to the set.She should at least buy another hat for Bingbing.She's going all out!No matter what everyone thinks of him!She can't stay in this little hut forever.Since she was alive, she wanted to see the sun, breathe fresh air, and go out into the world; she couldn't turn this dark little hut into her tomb.After this decision, she felt as if another torrent flowed through her heart, and the echo of life sounded in her dead chest.People, go talk, go talk, she has a thick skin.She no longer expects everyone's understanding and respect, and she doesn't need anyone to sympathize with her anymore.She is living now, living for her son; she is still trying to fulfill the responsibility of a mother, tormenting for her child to grow up... She also thinks further: if Guanghou and Ruoqin get married, she will beg He gave Bingbing to her - the two of them will live again! The next day, she dressed herself up—it couldn’t be helped, she was born to be beautiful—and went to the market with a bag. When she left the village, the peasants and their aunts and children looked at her strangely, as if she had returned from a foreign country. Liying bowed her head in pain and walked hurriedly.These uncles and brothers who had kissed her when she was young, now treat her as a stranger in such a strange way—not only a stranger, she has become a disaster in everyone's eyes! She doesn't blame these folks.They have always had their own ideas about such matters.She just felt once again that she had lost people's trust by not handling her life well.Everyone is now a head taller than her. When Liying arrived at the market, she bought Bingbing a little police cap, as well as various snacks and fruit candies, and did not forget to buy the children's favorite fried peanuts.Thankfully, she didn't meet a single acquaintance on the set. When she came back at night, she packed everything in a big bag and lay down on the bed.She couldn't fall asleep listening to the sound of the cows chewing grass next door... Gao Guanghou found out about it the day after Liu Liying and Lu Ruohua divorced.That day, Ruoqin had a bad cold and couldn't get up in bed. He went to the city to buy medicine for her, and heard that his ex-wife and new husband had divorced again. Many of his acquaintances came to tell this story, and told some details of this matter; all of them thought that Liu Liying swallowed the bitter fruit and ended up with nothing today, and she deserved it.They felt that this incident was undoubtedly a comfort to the wounded heart of the honest man Gao Guanghou.Gao Guanghou himself couldn't tell what kind of mood he was in.He just bought the medicine in a hurry and rushed back to Gaomiao Primary School.Like a careful nurse, he took Ruoqin's medicine and cooked her four or five meals a day.Regardless of whether Ruoqin can eat or not, he will bring her a bowl of delicious food after a while. At night, in the dead of night, he couldn't sleep no matter what.He felt that he could not lie on the kang calmly, and felt that there were many swelling things on his body that needed to be released. After covering Bingbing with a quilt, he quietly picked it up by himself, pulled out an old hoe in the stove and out of the door for no reason. Like a nocturnal patient, he walked to a field in the back ditch—that was the land of the school, and the crops had just been harvested. As soon as he got to the bank, he dug up the ground desperately. After a while, the sweat soaked through his shirt and covered his forehead.He simply took off his coat, threw it aside, and started to work with his bare arms, and his head fell on the ground like raindrops... Honest man!Why did you act so unbelievably tonight?What churning is there in your heart that cannot be resolved in any other way, but with this frantic labor? The misty moonlight quietly shone on this shirtless laborer, and the hammer was waving non-stop, as if drawing some question marks in the air, as if digging some kind of answer on the ground—the answer to life, the answer to life... It wasn't until he was so tired that he could no longer support himself that he threw himself down on the soft ground, hugged his head, and wept silently; ditch!No one can understand why he is like this, and he himself cannot fully explain why he is like this.In short, he was painfully agitated, and felt that there seemed to be something important in his life that required him to make a choice... After a few days, his heart wave calmed down a little, and he tried his best to restore himself to normal.Lu Ruoqin's illness is also completely cured.The two of them started to prepare for Bingbing's birthday.No matter how you look at it, Gao Guanghou now feels that he should be happier—yes, he has suffered a lot in life, but he has found something worth gratifying. Bingbing's birthday happened to be on a Sunday. Gao Guanghou shaved off his stubble early in the morning, and washed his hair with washing powder with strong decontamination ability. Look at him like it's his own birthday. Bingbing is four years old today.Poor children are like grass in the crevices of stones, growing up in one day. Right now, Gao Guanghou is not only happy about Bingbing's birthday, but he also has something to celebrate: his booklet is about to finish its first draft.Thanks to Lu Ruoqin for running around and borrowing a lot of reference books for him, so that he can handle this big event with ease.During his writing process, Ruoqin also helped him take care of Bingbing and his life.She also gave him a lot of good ideas for the manuscript... In teaching, the two of them also cooperated very well, and the work of the school became smoother and smoother.They burned two lime kilns not long ago, and the economy is much better, and the teaching conditions can be compared with other schools in the city!They are busy day and night, and there is indescribable happiness in their hearts.As the name of a novel says: Working is always beautiful.Gao Guanghou and Lu Ruoqin had long thought of Bingbing's birthday.When meeting in the city yesterday, Guanghou said he couldn't do without, so Tuo Ruoqin went to the city to buy a new suit and a few catties of meat for Bingbing, and prepared to make dumplings.Lu Ruoqin also bought Bingbing a birthday present: a beautiful little sweater from Shanghai, and an inflatable plastic "Astro Boy". This morning, they talked and laughed together.Bingbing was wearing the beautiful little blue and white sweater that Lu Ruoqin bought, and he was building blocks on the chopping board where they made dumplings, trying to make trouble with them. Lu Ruoqin, who was rolling out the dough, suddenly stopped, and said to Gao Guanghou, who was making dumplings: "Old Gao, I heard that Liying and my brother divorced again on the show yesterday...I wanted to tell you last night, when I saw you write something, I just... ..." Gao Guanghou raised his head at once, and the two muscles on his cheeks twitched nervously.He paused and said, "I heard about it two days ago..." Then he lowered his head and continued to make dumplings, his hands were shaking slightly... Seeing him like this, Lu Ruoqin quickly finished rolling out the dough, then came out of the kiln and strolled by the sword in the school yard.She suddenly saw a woman sitting on the simple road at the bottom of the slope, with her head almost buried in her knees, motionless, with a big burden beside her. Although Lu Ruoqin couldn't see her face, she quickly recognized that it was Liying! She was so excited that she ran down and called out, "Liying..." Liu Liying raised her head all of a sudden, her face was covered with tragic clouds, her lips twitched, and she couldn't say a word. When Lu Ruoqin saw this woman who was once so flamboyant, she became haggard all of a sudden, and all the dissatisfaction with her in the past disappeared all of a sudden.She said: "What are you doing sitting here? Go up! You must be celebrating Bingbing's birthday! Bingbing woke up this morning and said that his mother would bring him a present..." "Did my baby say that..." Liying stood up all of a sudden, tears pouring out of her eyes like springs. "I really said it." Ruoqin's eye circles were also red. Liying wiped the tears off her face with her hands, and said, "You probably know about my relationship with your brother...we're divorced..." "Understood." Lu Ruoqin said, "You were right to leave him." Liying lowered her head and stood there for a while, then said awkwardly: "Ruoqin, you are a good person, I wish you and Guanghou..." "Ah! Good Liying! Don't listen to other people's nonsense anymore! Maybe it was my brother who spread rumors on your face! I have nothing to do with Lao Gao! Please believe me...you should believe me!" Lu Ruoqin explained excitedly, her face flushed.She paused for a while, then said, "I'm just about to do work, let you and Lao Gao..." "That's impossible! Why would Guanghou want me again?" Liying interrupted Ruoqin and said sadly. "Anyway, you go up first!" Ruoqin walked over and took Liying's hand.Liying said: "Good girl! I'm ashamed to go into that kiln again. Can you go up and take Bingbing down, let me have a look, don't tell Guanghou that I'm here. I brought some gifts for Bingbing... ..." Her hand feebly pointed at the big burden on her, and tears kept streaming down her face. At this moment, Bingbing suddenly ran to the riverside and shouted: "Aunt Lu, Dad asked you to eat dumplings!" Lu Ruoqin hurriedly shouted: "Bingbing! Look who's here!" Bingbing saw Liying all of a sudden, and shouted happily: "Mom!" He ran down the small slope like flying! Liying also greeted her with open arms in spite of everything! She hugged Bingbing tightly and kissed his little face wildly.Bingbing wiped his tears with his chubby hands, and said, "Mom, you go home..." "I don't know if your father will let your mother go back?..." Liying smiled bleakly at her real son.Ruoqin pouted at Bingbing: "Go and ask Dad!" "I'll ask Dad!" Bingbing broke free from Liying's arms and ran home.Liying stood on the road at a loss.Ruoqin patted the dirt on her body with her hand.Bingbing quickly pulled Gao Guanghou out. When Gao Guanghou came to the side of the courtyard, he was startled and stopped. Bingbing forcibly pulled his hand and came down. The father and son came to the road.Bingbing threw away his father's hand and snuggled into his mother's cup again.Liying hugged Bingbing and lowered her head. Gao Guanghou looked at her quietly. Bingbing opened his small mouth and kept asking Gao Guanghou: "Dad, do you want your mother to love you back? Tell me! Do you want it? I want it! I want my mother! Do you want it! Say..." Gao Guanghou looked at Son, the thick lips squirmed for a while, and a low word came out of his mouth: "I want..." Liying, who was holding the child, raised her head all of a sudden, and impulsively bumped into Gao Guanghou's broad chest, which made this sturdy The men staggered a bit! He stretched out his two long arms, and hugged her and Bingbing in his arms... The moment Liying rushed towards Gao Guanghou, Lu Ruoqin suddenly turned her back, took rapid steps, and walked along the simple The road started to move with great strides.He let the tears flow freely on his face.Through tears of joy she saw the ripe autumn fields, golden in the bright morning sun.A gust of autumn wind rushed towards her face, and the yellow leaves of the poplar trees that passed the road fluttered down one after another and fell into the dust under her feet. She strode around, thinking excitedly in her heart: "Life! Life! Aren't you just like the mighty autumn wind? You have blown the particles of full life to maturity, and knocked down the withered yellow leaves in the heart on the road of life! Can the branches with fallen yellow leaves grow green leaves?" She decided to write a long letter to her brother...