Chapter 72 A Dog's Study (1)

How my life has changed, but fundamentally nothing has changed!I too lived among dogs, and I had all the worries of dogs, and I was just a dog among dogs, and when I call those days back to myself now, when I recall them and look further, I Finding that something has been amiss here since ancient times, here is a small break, I feel a little uncomfortable in the most respectable public gatherings, even sometimes among the closest dogs, No, not sometimes, but very often, just seeing a dog companion I like, just seeing someone new in some way makes me feel embarrassed, panicked, helpless, and disappointed.I tried my best to comfort myself, and all the friends I told the truth helped me, so that the following period of time was relatively peaceful. During this period, although there were many accidents, I was able to deal with them calmly and calmly. They can be accepted into life more calmly and calmly.It may have made me sad and weary during this time, but it made me on the whole really be a dog, albeit a cold, reserved, timid, calculating dog.How could I have lived to my present age without this recuperation period, how could I have found peace in observing the fears of my youth and enduring the terrors of old age, which I have always been able to derive by my pathetic genius. Draw conclusions and live by them.I admit that my talent is pathetic, but in order to express it more carefully, I should say that it is not very good.I live in the wilderness, in solitude, only in small, hopeless researches from which I cannot do without, but at the same time I do not cease to watch my people from afar, and news often comes to me, which I Also let them know about my situation from time to time.The dogs respect me, they don’t understand my way of life, but they don’t hate me for it, even those young dogs, I often see them passing by in the distance, they are the new generation, I can still Recalling their childhood vaguely, even they would not say hello to me disrespectfully.

It cannot be overlooked that, for all my obvious eccentricities, I have no variants at all.Whenever I think about these things—I have the time, the interest, the ability to do this—I think, things are pretty good for dogs.Besides us dogs, there are all kinds of creatures around, poor, insignificant, silent, screaming creatures, many of us dogs are studying them, giving them names, trying to help them , educate them, try to ennoble them, and that sort of thing.Even if they don't try to bother me, I don't like them, I keep getting them mixed up, and I just leave them alone.One thing, however, is so obvious that it is impossible for me not to notice it, that, compared with us dogs, they seldom work together, but always pass each other silently and with a certain hostility, which only the most general interest can see. They were somewhat superficially linked, and even this interest often gave rise to hatred and strife.We dogs are the complete opposite!It may be said that we all live in a single group, and that we are also so different from each other by countless great differences that have arisen in the long course of time.All live in one group!This compels us to come together with each other, and nothing prevents us from being content with this compulsion, and all our laws and institutions, whether a small part I still know, or a large part I have forgotten, are derived from Born out of a longing for the greatest happiness we are capable of, born of a longing for a warm togetherness.Now it's the exact opposite.So far as I know, there is no living being so widely dispersed as our dogs, no living being with so many and obvious differences in grades, types, and occupations.Still, we managed to get together again and again in passionate moments.We are the ones who live apart from each other with our desire to be together, we have strange occupations that even the neighbor dogs can't understand, we abide by rules that are not dog rules, or rather Say it's for dogs.It's such a difficult thing, something no one wants to touch—I understand the point of view, better than I do—the things in which I'm utterly obsessed.Why don't I behave like other dogs, live in harmony with my people, silently suffer whatever breaks that harmony, ignore them as small blunders in the big bill, and always smile to see us That which is blissfully associated with the people, disregards that which, of course, is always irresistible, must separate us from the people.

I also remember an incident in my teenage years when I was in the midst of a blissful and inexplicable excitement that every dog ​​experiences as a child.I was a young dog, everything pleased me, everything was about me, and I felt that there were great things going on around me, and I was their commander, and I had to lend my voice to them, if I don't run for them, I don't shake my body for them, they can only lie on the spot in pain.Now, the child's fantasies have disappeared with age.But at the time they were so powerful that they completely dominated me, and then of course an unusual thing happened which seemed to raise some wild expectations as a matter of course.In fact, it was nothing extraordinary, and I often didn't bother to look at such things and stranger things afterwards, but it made an extremely strong and indelible impression on me at the time, and it was my first. Impressions are oriented for many subsequent impressions.The thing is, I met a bunch of dogs, or rather, I didn't meet them, but they came towards me.I had been running in the dark for a long time, and I had a hunch that something big was going to happen, and it was a hunch that was easy to miss because I always had it.I ran for a long time in the dark, aimless, hearing nothing, seeing nothing, guided only by a vague longing.Suddenly I stopped because I felt I had reached the place.When I looked up, it was already bright day, only a little misty, and everything exuded the intoxicating smell of rolling around.I said hello to the morning in a muffled voice, and then, as if by magic, out of some dark place came seven dogs, uttering a voice I had never heard before. Terrible noise.If I hadn't seen that they were dogs, if I hadn't seen that they were making the noise—though I couldn't tell how they were making it—I might have run away at once, but I stopped up.I knew next to nothing about that creative musicality which is endowed only to dogs, and my slowly developing faculties of observation certainly did not perceive it until then.If music has been a natural and necessary part of my life since infancy, permeating me all the time, nothing can compel me to separate it from the rest of life, just by hint, by trying to If the method of comprehension suggests to me, then these seven great music artists will surprise me even more, and they will simply cast me down.They didn't speak, they didn't sing, they kept silent almost by a tenacious perseverance, but from the empty space, there was a rising music.No matter what is music, throw your feet and lift your feet, look back and turn your head, run and rest, the positions of each other, and the sequence of each other, they are probably one with its front paws on the back of the other, and they are arranged like this , so the front one has to stand upright to bear all the weight of the other dogs, they either wrap their bodies close to the ground head to tail and never make a mistake.The last dog is not very sure, he can't always keep up with other dogs immediately, and sometimes he can basically shake according to the melody, but he is not sure just compared to other dogs who are very sure, even if his No matter how poor the grasp is, or even a little grasp, it will not affect the other dogs at all, that is, the masters keep the rhythm calmly.Yet I could barely see them all, hardly all of them.They came out and I welcomed them as dogs from my heart.I was confused by the noise that accompanied them, but they were dogs, dogs like you and me.I observe them as a habit, as I observe a dog on the road.I wanted to be close to them, to exchange greetings with them, and they were very close.Although they were much older than I was and were not of my thick-haired breed, they were not entirely unfamiliar in size and build, or were quite familiar, and I have known many dogs of this or similar type.As I meditate like this, the music grows louder and literally grabs me and drags me away from these real puppies, and I do my best against my will to stand upright and howl as if I feel pain, I Can't do anything else but listen to this music coming from all directions, from high places, from underground, from all places, music that surrounds the listener in the center, depressing music, coming from head to head The music that is so close is like the music that is far away, and it seems that the music of the sound of the brass can still be heard.I was let go again because I was too exhausted, de-energized and too weak to listen.I was let go and watched the seven puppies line up and watch them jump.I want to say hello to them, ask them to teach me, and ask them what they are doing here, but they act like they are thousands of miles away.As a kid, I always thought that I could ask questions anytime, and anyone could.But I was just about to start, just felt a close and good dog relationship with those seven dogs, and their music started again, making me dizzy and spinning, as if I was one of these musicians myself but I was only one of their victims, and I flung myself on and on, begging for mercy, and at last escaped its grasp, for it cornered me in a pile of logs scattered all around me. It rose up, but I didn't realize it. At this moment, it surrounded me tightly, making me lower my head. Although the music was still roaring outside, I had a chance to catch my breath.Indeed, I marveled at the art of the seven dogs—an art I couldn't understand, but I couldn't understand it not only because of my ability—but also at the frankness with which they put themselves entirely within what they made Their courage, and I am even more amazed at their strength to bear these things calmly without being crushed.But as I watched more closely from my shelter, I saw that they played with extreme nervousness rather than composure, and that their legs seemed steady in their movement, but were actually trembling with panic at every step. Twitching and trembling non-stop, they seemed desperate, one stared blankly at the other, their tongues were pulled out of their mouths wearily as soon as they were controlled.This can't be the fear of success. Whoever dares to do this, whoever has done such a thing, will no longer be timid. ——What are you afraid of?Who would force them to do such a thing here?I couldn't help it any longer, especially since I felt they were inexplicably needing help now, so I shouted my question defiantly through the din.And yet they—incomprehensible!Incomprehensible! ——If you don’t answer, just pretend that I don’t exist.Not answering a dog's call is a faux pas that will never be forgiven by the smallest dog or the largest.Are they not dogs?But how could they not be dogs?At this time, when I listened more carefully, I even heard them whispering to encourage each other, reminding each other of various difficulties, and warning each other not to make mistakes.At the back is the smallest dog, most of the calls are directed at him, I saw him sneak a glance at me from time to time, as if he would like to answer me, but he restrained himself very much, because this is not allowed .Yet why is this not allowed?Why is something that our laws have always required to be done unconditionally, but this time it is not allowed?This made me so angry that I almost forgot about the music.These dogs broke the law.No matter how great magicians they are, the law applies to them, and even my boy understands it well.I found many more things in there.They do have reasons for being silent, such as being silent out of guilt.Because when they acted, which I never noticed because of the blaring music, they had no sense of shame, and they stood upright on their hind feet, doing the most ridiculous and indecent things they did.Phew, what the hell!They are naked, they flaunt their nudity, they are proud of it, and every time they obey their conscience and put their forelegs down for a moment, they are terrified, as if it were a mistake, as if this nature was a mistake, and then they have to lift up again. Forelegs, their eyes seemed to beg forgiveness and they had to stop their sins a little.Is the world turned upside down?Where am I?What happened?For my own survival, I can no longer hesitate here.I broke through the logs surrounding me and jumped out. I wanted to find those dogs. I, a primary school student, had to be a teacher again, to let them understand what they were doing, and to stop them from continuing to do evil. "Such an old dog, such an old dog!" I kept repeating to myself.But as soon as I was free, within two or three steps of the dogs, the uproar started again, and it subdued me again.I was familiar with the uproar, which, though terrifying in its magnitude, was perhaps manageable.But through this tumult a voice in the distance continues, clear and stern, unchanging, and perhaps it is the true melody in the tumult, which forces me to my knees, or else I try to It may be able to withstand the noise for a while.These dogs make such bewitching music.I can't take it anymore, I don't want to teach them anymore, just let them spread their legs, let them do evil, let them lure other dogs to commit the evil of watching silently.I am such a young dog, who would ask me to do something so difficult?I became smaller than I am, and I wailed, and if they had asked me about it, I might have agreed with them.Besides, it didn't take long for them to disappear, and all the noise, and all the light in the darkness from which they had emerged.

As I have already said, there is nothing unusual about the whole thing, and in the course of a long life, things happen to a dog, and they are all the more startling when viewed as a whole with a child's eye. .Besides, as the exact wording puts it, this, like everything, is of course not to be "spoofed," and so it happened: seven musicians got together to play music in the silence of the morning, A puppy strayed there, an unwelcome audience, and they tried unsuccessfully to drive him away with particularly ghastly or solemn music.He harassed them by asking questions.Do they have to accept the distraction that is enough in the presence of a raw dog and amplify it by answering questions?Even though the law says that every dog ​​must be answered, is a puppy that's running wild really a dog that should be taken seriously?Perhaps they didn't catch him at all, the barking of his question was probably quite inarticulate.They might have understood what he was saying and restrained themselves from answering, but his unaccustomed puppy couldn't tell the answer from the music.As for the hind legs, maybe they do make an exception and walk on their hind legs only, which is a sin, yes!And yet they were alone, seven friends among friends, in intimate gatherings, within the four walls of their own home, in a way, without outsiders at all, because friends It's not public, it's not public, it's not public even if a curious street dog is there, and given the circumstances, doesn't that mean that nothing happened?Not exactly, but more or less the same, parents should teach their children not to run around, it's better to keep quiet about such things, and respect the elderly.

At this point, the matter is over.Of course, what is over for the big dog is not over for the little dog.I run around, I talk to every dog, I ask every dog, I sue, I study, I want to drag every dog ​​to the scene and show them where I was, those seven guys Where, where and how they dance and play music.But everybody ignores me and laughs at me, and if anyone could go with me, I might sacrifice my innocence and try to get up on my hind feet too, so that I can make everything clear.And now, everyone is mad at a puppy for everything, but forgives him in the end.But I kept this innocent nature, and just became an old dog.My opinion of the matter is lower today, but still the same, I'm still talking about it aloud, I'm still restoring it to what it was, and I'm still wrestling the dogs that were there with no regard The society I live in, and the society I live in, is always doing things that bother me and every other dog, and yet precisely because of that—that’s the difference—I want to get to the bottom of it through research so that Finally, free your eyes to observe the ordinary, quiet and happy daily life.In the later days, I worked exactly the same as then, and I still don't stop today. Although many children's methods are missing, the difference is not great.

The cause is that performance.I have no complaints about this, it is my nature that is at work here, and even without this performance my nature would have found another opportunity to reveal itself.It's just that things happened so quickly, which I used to regret. It consumed most of my childhood. The carefree life of a puppy lasted for several years with some dogs, but it was only a short period of time for me. few months.It doesn't matter.There are things in the world more important than childhood.It may be at an advanced age, through a life of hardship, that I will be able to achieve childhood happiness beyond the capacity of a real child, but I will gain this capacity later on.

At that time I started my investigation from the simplest things. There was no lack of material. It is a pity that it was very rich, so rich that I felt hopeless in the chaos.I started investigating what dogs do for a living.It can be said that this is of course not a simple question. Since ancient times, it has exhausted our brains and is the main object of our thinking. In this field, there are countless observations, attempts, and opinions. It has become a science. , a science of such magnitude that it exceeds not only the comprehension of any individual scholar, but of all scholars, a science that no one but the whole race of dogs can afford to undertake, and even if the whole race of dogs has not undertaken the whole, Overwhelmed, it was constantly peeling away in the old riches long occupied, so it had to be filled with painstaking efforts, not to mention the difficulties of my research and the almost impossible conditions.There is no disagreement with me about all this, I know it all, I have no intention of dabbling in this true science, for which I have all the respect it deserves, but I lack knowledge, lack industry to enhance this respect, Lack of composure, especially in recent years, lack of appetite.I gobble up food that doesn't deserve my agricultural, methodical, advance observation.In this respect the synopsis of all science will suffice for me, the little maxim that mothers tell their children when they let them out of their arms and into life: "Wet everything you can." Is it true that almost everything is included?What else is important to add to the study that our ancestors started?Details, details, and everything is so unreliable.However, as long as we dogs are around, this principle will exist.It is related to our main food.Doubtless we have other supplementary foods, but in exceptional cases we can live on primary foods, provided we do not reach a particularly miserable age.We get our main food on the earth, and the earth needs the water in us, lives on this water, and provides us with food only on this condition.It should not be forgotten that dogs can hasten the appearance of food through various mantras, songs and gestures.From my point of view, that's all there is to it, and there's basically nothing left to talk about from that perspective.In this, I agree with most dogs, and I guard myself against any heresy in this respect.Indeed, I am neither peculiar nor opinionated, and I am always glad to agree with my fellow beings, and in this case it was.My activities, however, are carried out in the other direction.Appearances tell me that if the cultivated land is sprayed according to scientific principles, it will provide food, that is to say, in what quality and quantity, in what manner, where and when Science dictates the legal requirements.I accept all of this, but my question is: "Where does the land get all this food?" A question that people usually excuse and don't understand, to which they answer me at best: "If you don't eat enough, we'll take our food. I'll give you some." Everyone valued this answer.I know it's not a dog's virtue that we give away the food we get.Life is hard, the earth is wrinkled, and science is so rich in knowledge and so poor in practical results.Whoever has food, preserves it.It is not selfishness, but on the contrary, it is the law of dogs, a popular resolution by unanimity, born of the victory over selfishness, for the possessors are always a minority. "If you don't have enough, we'll give you some of ours." This reply is a common courtesy, a wit, and a joke.I never forgot.But what made more sense to me was that no one ever made fun of me like that when I was running around the world with my problems.Although I have never received any food as a gift - where can I get it out immediately, even if I happen to have it in my hand, but of course I will not think of taking care of other dogs when I lose my temper when I am hungry - but everyone Still pretty serious about serving food, and sometimes I do get something to eat if I'm quick enough to grab it.How could I be looked at differently, how could I be cared for and treated preferentially?Just because I'm a skinny dog, malnourished and caring too little about eating?Yet there are many malnourished dogs who roam about and, if possible, even the most shoddy food is taken from their mouths, often not out of greed, but out of principle.No, I have not been treated favorably, I have only a vivid impression of it, and it is impossible to describe it in detail.Aren't you all happy with my questions, don't you think they're particularly clever?No, they weren't happy, they thought the questions were all really stupid.They, too, can only be questions that draw my attention.It seemed like they would rather do the unbelievable thing of gagging me with food - which they didn't do, but they wanted to - than put up with my problems.Then it would be easier for them to dismiss me and ban my questions.No, they didn't think so, and they didn't want to hear my problems, but they didn't want to drive me away because of them.When I was ridiculed in every possible way, when I was looked upon as a ignorant little animal, when I was pushed around, it was actually the period when I was famous, and nothing like it happened again, when I was everywhere. You can go, you can do anything, and what looks like rough treatment is really flattering.All this is only due to my problems, my innocence, and my desire to study.They want to use this to paralyze me. They don't want to use coercive methods, but they want to lead me away from a wrong path with an almost loving method, a path whose wrongness is not clear enough to use coercive methods, isn't it Is that so? —A certain respect and awe are also obstacles to the use of coercive means.I had a similar hunch then, and now I know it better than the dogs did then.No doubt they were trying to lure me out of my way.The purpose is not achieved, they have just the opposite effect, I am more focused.I even found out that I was in fact the dog trying to seduce people, and that my coaxing had actually been somewhat successful.It was only with the help of the dogs that I began to understand my own problems.For example, when I ask "where does the land get these foods", if I only look at it from the surface, do I need to worry about the land?Does the sorrow of the land have anything to do with me?Not at all, as I soon realized, it was none of my business, nothing else but the dog to bother me.What else is there but a dog?To whom in the wide and empty world to call but a dog?All knowledge, all questions, all answers, reside in the dog.I hope this knowledge can be useful, I hope this knowledge can be made public, and I hope they don't know ten baskets but only admit one bowl to themselves.And the talkative dog, the more taciturn once he leaves the place where the best food is served.The dogs circled their companions softly, the dogs were full of greed, the dogs beat each other with their tails, the dogs asked, begged, howled, biting, and it was done even if it cost nothing. Jin can also do things: listening with affection, touching with kindness, sniffing respectfully, hugging sincerely, you and me screaming as one, all for the sake of intoxication, forgetting and obtaining.But there is one thing that the dogs still fail to do first: acknowledge their own knowledge.For this kind of request, whether it is silently or loudly, even if you try your best to coax and coax, the answer to you is at most a numb expression, squinted eyes, and cloudy eyes.I called out to the dog musicians when I was a kid, but they never said a word, not much has changed since then.

Some dogs may say, "You resent the dogs around you for not saying a word about these important matters, and you think they know a lot, but don't want to admit it all, and don't want them to be involved in their lives." All play a role, this silence, its cause and its secret they are naturally hidden together in the silence, poisoning life, making you feel intolerable, you have to change it, or abandon it, maybe so. But yourself It is also a dog and has the knowledge of a dog. Please say it now, but don’t use the form of a question, but in the form of an answer. If you say it, who will be against you? Dogs The chorus will start as if it's waiting. Then you'll get the truth, you'll be clear, you'll hear the confession, if you will. This cap of low life, you're behind the scenes The roof of such slander will be thrown open, and we will all rise dog to dog to the high kingdom of liberty. If this last step is not reached, it will be worse than it is now, and the unadulterated truth is better than the half-truth Even more unbearable, those silent defenders of life will be proven right, and the faint hopes we still harbor will turn to utter despair, these words are of taste, for you are not willing to live by the way of life. Put it this way, why do you accuse others of being silent when you keep silent yourself?"

It's easy to answer: because I'm a dog.Exactly like any other dog, I shut myself down, hated my problems, and was callous out of fear.Do I ask the dogs questions, at least after I have become an adult dog at the latest, in order to get them to answer them?How could I have hoped so foolishly?Can I not see the foundations of our life, have no sense of its abyss, see the workers in the construction sites and dimly lit factories?I am still expecting, according to the question I asked, this will end, will it be destroyed, will it be abandoned?No, I really don't have any expectations for these.I understand them, we have a common blood running through us, that poor, forever young, always thirsty blood.Yet what we have in common is not only blood, but knowledge, and not only knowing, but the keys to the gates of this knowledge.I couldn't have these without the other dogs, and I couldn't have them without their help.Those bones containing the most precious marrow are as hard as steel, and only when all the dogs bite together with all their teeth can they be dealt with.Of course, this is just a metaphor, an exaggeration.As long as all the teeth are in position, there is no need to bite at all, the bone will split itself, and the marrow will lie there open and accessible to even the weakest puppy.If I'm going to go on with the metaphor, it's my intentions, my questions, my research directed at something frightening.I want to force all the dogs together, I want that bone to crack itself under the pressure of what they've set up, and then let them live the life they love, and then I want to be alone, just me, far and near, Suck that bone marrow.It sounds horrible, as if I wanted to live not just from the marrow of one bone, but from the marrow of dogs.But this is nothing more than a metaphor.The bone marrow in question here is not food, but the opposite, poison.

It is only myself who is busy with these questions for me, and I want to encourage me with the silence that answers me all around.As you have become increasingly aware through your own research, how long can you bear that the dogs are silent, and will be silent forever?How long can you stand this is my real lifelong project, it goes beyond all other individual issues, it's just for me, it won't bother any other dogs.Regrettably, I can answer this question more easily than any: reckon I will endure to my natural end, and the composure of old age is more and more resistant to these impatient questions.I may die silently, in silence, almost peacefully, and I will face the silence with equanimity.As if out of spite, our dogs are endowed with admirably strong hearts, lungs that never wear out prematurely, our defense against all problems, even our own, the silent bulwark that is us.

Lately I've been thinking more and more about my life, and I'm looking for the big mistake that I may have made, the big mistake that I'm responsible for, and I can't find it.But I must have made this mistake, and if I haven't, and after a long life of hard work I still haven't achieved what I want, it means that what I want to achieve is impossible, and From this will arise utter despair.Look at this life's work of yours!The question initially investigated was: Where does the land get our food from?A puppy naturally craves the pleasures of life, and I gave up all enjoyment, detoured from all amusements, and tucked my head between my legs to avoid temptations, and so began the work.This is not the work of a scholar, involving neither erudition, nor method, nor purpose.These are presumably errors, but they cannot be conclusive.I didn't learn much, because I left my mother early and soon got used to being independent and living a free life, but early self-reliance is the enemy of systematic learning.Yet I have seen and heard a great deal, and have spoken to dogs of all kinds and professions, and what I lack in erudition, I think I understand everything fairly well, and correlate individual observations well.In addition, self-reliance is also a kind of advantage for me to conduct research, although it is a disadvantage for learning.In my case, being self-reliant was more important than my inability to follow the true scientific method, i.e. not being able to use the work of my predecessors, not being able to connect with fellow researchers.I started the initial work entirely on my own, thinking that the occasional period I would draw in the future must be the final period, a realization that delights young dogs but especially frustrates older ones.Is it true that I am the only dog ​​now engaged in my kind of research, and has always been?Both yes and no.Individual dogs, no matter where they were or are now, cannot always be in my situation.我的处境大概还没那么糟糕。我丝毫没有脱离狗的本性。任何一只狗都和我一样有提问的欲望，而我和每只狗一样有沉默的欲望。谁都有提问的欲望。若非如此我通过我的问题也只能引起最低限度的震动，我常常有幸欣喜地，当然是极其欣喜地看到这种震动，如果我面临的情况不是这样，我能做到的肯定要少得多。我有沉默的欲望，真遗憾，这一点不需任何特别的论证。我和所有的狗基本上没有差异，因此尽管存在着许多意见分歧和反感，所有的狗总的来说还是肯定我的，而我对每只狗也是如此。有区别的仅仅是基本特点的混合体，这种区别对个别狗来说十分巨大，但对全民却毫无意义。无论过去还是现在，那些一直存在的基本的混合体类似于我的情况并不罕见，若说我的混合体不幸，那个混合体则不是更加不幸吗？这有悖于一切其它经验。我们狗从事着各种最美妙的职业。有些职业若不是你手里有最可靠的消息，你简直就无法相信。关于这方面我最乐意回想的就是那些天狗的例子。当我第一次听说一只天狗时，我笑了，任凭怎么说也不能叫我相信。Why?难道会有一只极小的小种狗，个头没我的头大，到老也长不大，这只狗自然十分虚弱，外表不自然，未发育成熟，毛发收拾得过于精细，不会正正经经地跳一下，就像大家说的，这只狗恐怕大都在高空中移动，但看到什么事都不干，只知休息。想让我相信这种事，这样利用一只小狗的没有主见未免太过分了吧，我就是这样想的。然而事隔不久，我又从另一渠道听说了另一只天狗的事。难道他们串通好了愚弄我？接着我就看到了那几个狗乐师，也就从那时起，我认为无论什么都是可能的，我的接受能力不受任何成见限制，我追踪着那些最为荒唐的谣传，尽我所能密切注视着它们，我觉得，在这荒唐的生活中，最荒唐的事比合理的事更有可能，对我的研究特别有用。这些天狗也是如此。对他们我已了解了许多，虽然至今还没能见到一只，但对他们的存在我早已坚信不疑。在我的宇宙观里，他们有他们的重要位置，和在大多数情况下一样，在这里也不存在要求我开动脑筋的技巧。这真奇妙，谁能否认这种狗会在空中飞翔，我与众狗的一致之处在于对此感到惊异。不过对我的感觉来说，这种存在物的荒唐性，无声无息的荒唐性则要奇妙得多。总的来说，这种荒唐性没得到任何解释，他们在空中飞翔，事情就是这样，生活依旧在继续，大家时而谈谈艺术，谈谈艺术家，这就是一切。可是为什么，心地善良的众狗，为什么这种狗只是飞翔？他们这种职业有何意义？为何他们在那高处飞翔而让狗引以为自豪的腿萎缩，离开赖以生存的大地，不播种却收获？据说他们靠狗类负担生活得特别安逸。我可以自夸地说，正是我对这些事提出了疑问，才起了一点儿促进作用。大家开始解释，开始拼凑一种解释。开始是开始了，但开了头也再迈不出第二步了。不过毕竟还是做了点什么。虽然解释中不会看到真实情况的影子——狗们永远走不到这一步，但却可以稍稍见到谎言乱成一团糟的情况。因此我们生活中的所有荒唐现象，特别是最荒唐的现象都可以解释。当然这还不够——真是天大的笑话，但为了回避那些令人难堪的问题这也足够了。天狗重又被当作例子：他们并不像我们当初想的那么傲慢，不如说，他们特别需要同伴，只要试着设身处地地为他们想一想，就能理解这一点。他们必须使别的狗谅解自己的生存方式，至少也得让别的狗别注意它，忘掉它，如果不能公开做这些— —这违背沉默的义务，那就设法换一种方式。正像我听说的，他们正在这样做，采用的方式是令人几乎难以忍受的夸夸其谈。他们能不停地讲，一半是讲他们彻底放弃体力劳动之后还能继续进行的哲学思考，一半是讲他们在高处进行的观察。他们在智力方面并不特别出众— —过这种游手好闲的生活自然是这样，他们的哲学和他们的观察一样毫无价值，科学几乎用不上它们，也无法依靠如此糟糕的原始资料。尽管如此，如若有谁问起这些天狗到底想要什么，他得到的回答总是这样的：他们会为科学做出许多贡献。 “这一点不错，”他接着说， “但他们的贡献没有价值，令人讨厌。”另外的回答就是耸耸肩膀，岔开话题，生气或大笑。如果过上一阵儿他再问，他又被告知，他们在为科学做贡献。即使是被问得有些不耐烦了，最后得到的回答依然如此。也许最好还是不要过于固执，顺顺从从，这些天狗业已存在，不可能不承认他们的生存权力，那就容忍他们吧。不过别再提出更多的要求，那样就过分了，可要求还是提了出来。他们要求容忍不断涌现的新天狗。简直搞不清他们从何而来。他们是通过繁殖增加了数量？他们哪里有这种能力呢？他们也就是一张漂亮的毛皮，那里面能繁殖出什么？就算这种不可能的事是可能的，那该于何时进行呢？他们在空中总是独来独往，从不合群，即使肯屈尊下来跑一跑，也只是一小会儿，他们矫揉造作地跑上几步，总是独往独来，沉浸在无论怎么努力也摆脱不了的所谓思想中，至少他们声称是这样的。如若他们并未繁殖，那是否可以想象，有那么一些狗，他们自愿放弃地面上的生活，自愿变成天狗，为了舒适和某种技能选择了这种软垫上的无聊生活，是否会这样呢？This is impossible.繁殖不可能，自愿加入也不可能。然而现实表明，不断有新的天狗出现。由此可以推断出（尽管我们的智力似乎无法克服种种障碍），一个曾经存在的狗种——尽管他们是那样特别—— 不会灭绝，至少不会轻易灭绝，至少各个种不能进行有效的自卫时不会灭绝。 如果一个如此怪僻、荒唐、特别之极、无力生存的狗种真是这样，比如说天狗，那我不是也得为我的种这样设想一下吗？我毫无特别之处，属于至少在这个地区极为常见的普通中产阶层，既不因什么特别之处而出类拔萃，也不因什么特别之处而遭受鄙视，在我的少年时期和部分成年时期，只要我不忽视自己并大量活动，我甚至还是一只相当漂亮的狗。我的正面像倍受赞扬，修长的腿，头的漂亮姿势，还有我那灰、白、黄、毛尖卷曲的毛皮，都特别讨人喜欢，这一切都无特别之处，特别的只是我的性格，但即使是这种性格——我从不许自己掉以轻心——大概也是由一般的狗性造成的。 如果说连天狗也不是独苗，在这狗的大世界里总能时不时见到一个，他们甚至不断地凭空弄来新的后裔，那我也可以坚信我并非没有希望。当然我的同类必定有一种特殊的命运，他们的存在对我永远不会有明显的帮助，单单因为我几乎辨认不出他们，他们对我就不会有用。我们是受沉默压迫的狗，由于渴望新鲜空气真想打破这沉默的狗，而其他狗却觉得沉默很惬意。这虽然只是一种假象，就像那几个狗乐师，表面上在镇静自若地演奏音乐，实际上却非常激动，但这种假象十分强大，我们试图征服它，它却对任何进攻都嗤之以鼻。我的同类当如何自救？他们的生存尝试该是什么样子？这可能是多种多样的。年少时我曾用我的问题，进行了尝试。也许我可以找也提出许多问题的狗来往，这样我也就有了自己的同类。我也曾在一段时间内用自我克制的方法进行过尝试，之所以采用这种方法，是因为与我有关的主要是那些应该回答问题的狗，而老是用我大都回答不了的问题来搅扰我的那些狗则令我讨厌。谁年少时不喜欢问这问那，而我该如何从这众多的问题中找出真正的问题？哪个问题听上去都类同于其它问题目的才是关键所在，但却不知它藏于何处，常常连提出问题的狗也摸不着头脑。总之，提问题是狗类的一个特点，大家乱哄哄地东问西问，好像这样就能抹去真正的问题的痕迹。不行，在提问题的小狗中我找不到自己的同类，在沉默者中，即我现在也属此列的老狗中，同样也难以找到。但这些问题到底有何用处，我因它们遭受了失败，大概我的同类要比我聪明得多，为了忍受这种生活，他们采用了完全不同的、优秀的方法，当然这些方法——正如我按自己的观点所要补充的——或许在危急中能帮助他们，安慰他们，麻痹他们，起到改种换宗的作用，但从总体上看，他们的方法和我的一样软弱无力，因为就我所看到的，还没有一个成功的例子。和成功相比，恐怕在所有其它方面我更易辨认出自己的同类。可我的同类到底在哪里？是的，这就是哀怨，这就是它。where are they?无处不有而又处处不见。也许就是我的邻居，跳三下就到，我们常常互相呼唤，他来过我这里，我却没去过他那边，他是我的同类？I have no idea.虽然在他身上我没看出任何迹象，但这有可能。若这有可能，那可就没有不可能的事了。当他处在远处时，我凭借所有的想象力，像做游戏一样在他身上还能找出一些让我似乎感到亲切的东西，可他一旦站在我面前，我臆造出的一切简直就成了笑话。一只年迈的狗，比刚够中等个儿的我还矮一截，褐色的短毛，走路抬不起脚，由于患病左后腿还有点儿拖。除了他，我已好久没和谁如此亲密地交往了。我勉强还能忍受他，我挺高兴的。当他离去时，我总要冲他的背影喊几句顶顶亲切的话，当然不是出于爱，而是对他感到气愤，因为一看到他的背影，看到他拖着腿、扭着过于低矮的屁股悄悄走开的样子，我就又觉得他极其讨厌。有时我觉得，若无意间将他称作我的同类真是在自我讥讽。即使在我们交往时，我在他身上也找不出任何同类的痕迹。虽然他聪明，其学识对我们此时的关系来说也足够了，我大概能跟他学不少东西，但我要找的是聪明和学识吗？我们谈的一般都是当地的问题，当时我真吃惊——我的孤独生活使我的目光在这方面更加尖锐，对一只普普通通的狗来说，为了勉强维持自己的生活，为了免遭常常出现的最大的危险，即使情况并非十分不利，他得要多少智慧啊。科学虽然定出各种准则，但即使在远处粗线条地理解它们也极为不易，当理解了它们之后，真正的难题才会出现，即按照当地的情况运用它们，在这方面几乎谁也帮不了你，几乎每个小时都会给你提出新难题，每一小块新土地都会给你提出它特有的难题。谁也不能断言，连需求一天少似一天的我也不能断言，自己已经定型，自己的生活从某种程度上说是在自行流逝。这一切无穷无尽的艰辛——为了什么目的？不就为了永远将自己掩埋在沉默里，不就为了永远也别让谁再拖出来。