Chapter 46 rural teacher

People who are disgusted at the sight of a small, ordinary mole (I am one of those people) would probably die of nausea at the sight of the giant mole I observed around a small village a few years ago.The village, once famous for the mole, is now long forgotten, so that it shares only in the obscurity of the whole phenomenon.This phenomenon remains unexplained, although little effort has been expended to explain it.Those who should have been concerned with the matter were in fact preoccupied with many trivial matters, and through their incomprehensible inattention the phenomenon was forgotten without a detailed investigation.The fact that the village was far from the railway line was by no means an excuse.Many people came all the way out of curiosity, even from abroad, except those who were not supposed to be merely curious.Yes, if it weren't for a few ordinary people, those who are so overwhelmed by the ordinary daily work that they hardly have time to catch their breath, if they are not selflessly concerned about this matter, the news about this phenomenon would be very difficult. It can't even spread for a few miles.It must be admitted that, even under these circumstances, the nearly sealed news had a difficult time, and it would have been hard to push it, otherwise it would not have gotten out.However, this should by no means be a reason for doing nothing on the matter, on the contrary the phenomenon should have been investigated.The only written record of the matter is given to an elderly village teacher who, though distinguished in his profession, was too limited and ill-educated to provide a point of permanent value. A comprehensive description, let alone an explanation.The pamphlet was printed, sold a good deal among the tourists in the village, and received some favorable reviews, but the teacher was smart enough to see that his personal effort, unsupported by anyone, had nothing to do with it. worthless.But he did not let up, and the prospect of this matter, by its very nature, was getting less and less every year, but he made it his life's work, which on the one hand proved how powerful this phenomenon can be, and on the other hand On the one hand, it also proves what kind of perseverance and loyalty to beliefs are hidden in an unknown old rural teacher.There is a brief supplement, attesting to his suffering from the refusal of those in authority, which he appended to his pamphlet, but only some years later, that is, at almost When no one can remember the contents of the pamphlet.In this supplement he complains, perhaps not with artifice but with convincing sincerity, that he cannot find understanding in those who at least hope to find it.Regarding these people, he said sharply: "It's not me, but they talk like old pedants." In addition, the old man quoted a famous scholar who he visited specially for his own career.The scholar's name is unknown, but it is not difficult to guess who he is from various trivial details.The old teacher had struggled to gain admission to the home of the scholar, whom he had reserved weeks before, but he had already sensed in the pleasantries that the scholar was bound by an insurmountable prejudice against his career. .He listened so absently as the old teacher gave a long introduction according to his pamphlet.After pretending to think for a while, he explained: "The soil in your area is very dark and fertile. Well, it provides the moles with particularly nutritious food, so they can grow very large." "But It's not that big!" The teacher said in a loud voice, and out of anger, he made a slightly exaggerated gesture on the wall for two meters. "Oh, yes," replied the scholar, apparently amused by the whole affair.The teacher went home with such an answer.He also told how his wife and six children waited for him on the road that night through the snow, and he had to admit to them that his hopes had finally been dashed.

When I read the description of how the scholar treated the old teacher, I hadn't read the text of the teacher's booklet.But I made up my mind right away to collect and sort out all I could find out.Since I cannot lecture the scholar, at least my writings should protect the teacher, or rather, such writings do not protect the teacher any more than the wishes of an honest but insignificant man.I confess that I later regretted this decision, because I soon felt that its execution would necessarily place me in a special situation.First, my influence is far from being able to change the opinion of that scholar or public opinion for this teacher. Second, that teacher must have noticed that I care more about his main intentions and confirming the big mole than maintaining his reputation. Rat phenomenon, and he felt that his reputation was taken for granted and did not need to be protected.In the end, it must be that I want to help the old teacher in the same boat, but I can't get his understanding. Maybe I can't help much, but I need a new helper, and the appearance of this helper may be even more difficult.Plus, making this decision puts a huge amount of work on my shoulders.To persuade others, I cannot quote the teacher's things, because they have never persuaded others.Knowing about his article can only confuse me, so I try to avoid reading it until my own work is over.Yes, I never had contact with this teacher, yet he knew through an intermediary that I was investigating, but he didn't know if I was working on his terms or against him.Yes, he seemed to guess the latter, though he later vehemently denied it, for I had evidence of the obstacles he had put in my way.It was too easy for him, because I had to repeat all the investigations he had done, so he was always ahead of me.But this is the only proper reproach to my method, and an unavoidable one, which can be watered down by caution and self-denial of my own conclusions.My article was not influenced in any way by that teacher, and that is probably the point where I appear extremely embarrassed, as if no one had investigated the matter before me, as if I had been the first to hear the account of an eyewitness, To be the first to put this material together, to be the first to draw conclusions.The teacher's article has a very long-winded title: "A Mole, the Giants of which No One Has Ever Seen." When I read it later, I found that we disagreed on several basic issues, although we both believed that The most important thing, the existence of the mole, had been confirmed.These individual differences of opinion repeatedly prevented me from developing the amicable relationship with that teacher, the kind that I still look forward to even so.He felt almost a kind of hostility.Although he has always been humble and respectful to me, I can observe his true state of mind more clearly.His belief that I had greatly jeopardized him and his career, and that the notion that I could or might be able to help him was naive at best, and perhaps arrogance or deceit.First of all, he repeatedly pointed out that none of his former opponents showed hostility, either only between them, or only in words, whereas I thought it necessary to print all my criticisms at once.Besides, the few opponents who did investigate the matter, superficially as they were, at least listened carefully to his teacher, the authoritative opinion on the matter, before speaking, and I From a haphazard collection of material, some of which is purely false, conclusions are drawn which, though correct in principal respects, have no credibility, either with the public or with the educated.Showing even a little disbelief is the worst thing that can happen here.

Although these accusations are subtle, I have no trouble countering them. For example, his article is probably the pinnacle of incredulity, but it is not so easy to deal with his other suspicions. Reasons for restraint.He thought to himself that I had deliberately discredited his honor as the mole's first official spokesman.Now there is no honor for him personally, there is only a laughing stock, and a laughing stock limited to a small circle, a laughing stock that I have no intention of seeking.Also in the introduction to my article I explicitly stated that the teacher should at all times be regarded as the discoverer of the mole--but he was never a discoverer--and it was only sympathy for the teacher's plight that prompted me to write this article. "The purpose of this essay is"—I wrote it impassionedly at the end, though it certainly suited my excitement at the time—"to help this teacher's article get the publicity it deserves. Once this purpose is achieved, my temporary Names that appear to be involved in the matter should be blotted out of it at once." I tried not to associate anything that had a major connection with the matter, as if I somehow had a presentiment that the teacher would be so unreasonable. accuse me.Even so, it was here that he got hold of me.I do not deny that there also seemed to be something reasonable in what he said, or in what he insinuated, and I have noticed many times that in some respects his eyes were almost more pleasing to me than to me. More perceptive in his essay, because he thinks my introduction is disingenuous.If my purpose was really just to promote his article, why didn't I just mention him and his article, why didn't I point out its strength and its rigor, why didn't I limit myself to emphasizing the importance of the discovery and making it understandable, Why completely ignore his articles but focus on discovering itself.Isn't it true that it was discovered?Is there anything left to do in this regard?But if you really think it is necessary to repeat the discovery, why so solemnly declare in the introduction that you will not touch the discovery?It may be falsely modest, but it's also infuriating.I'm belittling this discovery, just to belittle it, I want people to pay attention to it, I've studied it and I've dismissed it.The matter had probably died down a bit, and now I was making a fuss again, and at the same time I was making the teacher's situation more difficult than ever.What is the point of maintaining his reputation for this teacher!It was the cause, and only the cause, that he was obsessed with.But I'm selling the cause because I don't understand it, because I don't value it correctly, because I have no empathy for it.If my understanding is on earth, it is in the nine heavens.

He seemed to be sitting right in front of me, facing me with his old wrinkled face, looking at me quietly.That's really all there is to his opinion.However, this is not true at all. He is not only concerned about his career. He even has a strong sense of vanity and wants to make some money. Considering the size of his family, this is not difficult to understand.Still, he felt that I had relatively little interest in the cause, so he thought it was okay to appear disinterested, just don't tell a big lie.I said to myself that the man's accusations came down to nothing more than that he was clutching his mole with both hands, and that anyone who tried to get close to it, even if only with his fingers, was called a betrayer. , but this is not enough to satisfy my heart.This is not the case, his behavior cannot be explained by greed, at least not by greed alone, but rather by neuroticism, the nervousness that has been induced in him by exerting great efforts and getting nothing.But even this neuroticism doesn't explain everything.Perhaps my interest in this matter is indeed too low.For this teacher, the lack of interest in others is commonplace, and he can bear it in general, but not in particular.Now at last there is someone who cares in an extraordinary way, but who also doesn't understand the cause.I do not wish to deny for the slightest that I was compelled to do so.I am not a zoologist, and if I had discovered this, I might be very excited from the bottom of my heart, but I am not the discoverer.A mole of this size is certainly a sight to behold, but that doesn't mean the world will always pay attention to it, and it's not entirely certain that the mole exists, at least not on display .I also admit that even if I am the discoverer, I am afraid that I will never devote my heart and soul to a mole as willingly as I do to this teacher.

If my article had been successful, the differences between me and the teacher would probably have been resolved quickly, but it just didn't work out.Perhaps this article is not well written and not convincing enough. I am a businessman, and writing such an article probably goes far beyond the circle set for me, even more than that teacher. I am far beyond this teacher in all necessary knowledge.Although this failure can be explained otherwise, it may not have been at the right time.The discovery of the mole has not attracted widespread attention, but on the one hand the passing time has not yet been completely forgotten, so my article did not surprise people, on the other hand, the passing time is not enough Exhaust that point of existing interest.Some people are very worried about my article, and they say in a pessimistic tone that influenced the discussion a few years ago, and now they may have to waste their time on that boring thing again.Some even mixed my essay with that teacher's.The following comment appeared in an important agricultural journal, fortunately last and in small print: "This article on the big mole was sent to us again. One hearty heart out. It hasn't gotten any smarter since then, and we haven't gotten any dumber. We can't laugh a second time. So we're gonna ask our teachers' federations, besides chasing those big moles , whether a country teacher can't find anything more useful to do." An unforgivable confusion.They had read neither the first nor the second, and in their haste they stumbled upon two pathetic words, the Big Mole and the Country Teacher, which the Gentlemen thought was enough to give them a public interest. up.I could have effectively done everything about it, but a lack of understanding with the teacher prevented me from doing so.I did everything I could to keep him from seeing the magazine for as long as I could.He soon discovered it, however, and I saw it in his letter promising to visit me at Christmas.He commented in the letter: "This world is really bad, but people are indifferent to it." What he meant by these words is that I belong to this bad world, but I am not satisfied with my own badness, I'm also indifferent to the world, which is to say, I'm working to draw out the common badness and help it win.Now that I had made the necessary decisions, I could wait for him with equanimity, watch him arrive with a calm heart, and say hello even less politely than usual.He sat silently across from me, carefully took out the magazine from the pocket of his unique cotton coat, opened it and pushed it in front of me.

"I've read it." I said, and pushed back without reading a word. "You've seen it," he said with a sigh.Repeating other people's answers is his old habit as a teacher. "Of course I will not tolerate this without protest," he continued.As he tapped his fingers excitedly on the magazine, he stared at me sternly, as if I were the opposite of his point of view.He probably had a premonition of what I was going to say.I used to disbelieve that I sensed more in his words than in other signs, and that his intuition of my intentions was often accurate, but he did not obey that intuition, allowing himself to be led elsewhere, and what was said to him at the time I can almost repeat it exactly because I took notes shortly after the conversation.

"You can do what you want," I said, "and we part ways from today. I don't think you will be surprised or inappropriate. The news in the magazine is not my fault. The reason for this decision, it just finally strengthened my confidence. The real reason is that I thought my presence would help you, and now I can only think that I hurt you in every way. Why did it become So, I don't know, there are always many reasons for success and failure, don't look for explanations that are not good for me. Think about yourself. If you look at the whole, you have excellent intentions, but You have suffered a failure. I am not saying this in jest, it is also directed at myself, and if I say that, unfortunately even the relationship with me is one of your failures. It is neither cowardice nor betrayal that I am withdrawing from this matter now. It wouldn't even be so if it wasn't for the victory over myself. My article has shown how much I respect you personally, you have become my teacher in a certain way, and even the mole seems to me to have become cute. Nevertheless I Quit anyway, you're the finder. Whatever I try to do, I'm holding you back from the credit you might get, while I'm incurring failure and bringing failure to you. At least that's how you see it. Enough, no Said. The only punishment I can accept is that I ask your forgiveness. If you ask, I can repeat the confession I made to you here, in public, for example, in this magazine."

That's what I said at the time, and they're not quite candid, but it's easy to infer candor from them.My statement had about the same effect on him as I expected.It is in their nature that most older people are somewhat bewildering and deceitful to young people.Around them, people lead a peaceful life, they all think that this is a secure relationship, they understand the main views, they get evidence from time to time that their lives are harmonious, and they think that everything is natural.But as soon as something decisive happens, and the prepared tranquility should come into play, these old people suddenly stand up impressively, their views are deeper and more influential, and then they show up. Their flag, on which people were startled to see the new slogan.The reason why I was surprised was first of all because what these old people said at this time was indeed more reasonable and meaningful. It seemed that those things that were taken for granted had been upgraded to another level and became more natural.The incomparable delusion lies in the fact that what they are saying now is what they have been saying all along, and generally in the unexpected.I must have known the country teacher so well that he did not surprise me now.

"Son," he said, rubbing his hand affectionately on mine, "how did you even think of getting involved in this?—I told my wife as soon as I heard about it." He left the table, With outstretched arms, looking at the ground, as if there were little old companion standing there, as if he were talking to her, "'For so many years,' I said to her, 'we've been fighting alone, but there seems to be a city The gentleman of the town has come out to speak for us now, a city merchant named Sonderso. We should be very happy now, shouldn't we? A city merchant is no small matter. If a lowly farmer It does us no good to trust us and show that trust in words, because it is always unseemly for a farmer to do something, whether he says the old country teacher is right, or spits inappropriately , the effect of both is exactly the same. If not one farmer stands out, but tens of thousands, the effect may be even worse. But a businessman in a city is not the same, such a person has various connections, Even if he says something casually, it will spread in a large circle, and new sponsors will support the cause. For example, one person said that even rural teachers can learn from him, the first The next day there will be a lot of whispers from people, judging from their point of view, people probably never expect them to be like this. Now there will be funds for the cause, raised by one person, Others handed over the money to him. Everyone said that the village teacher should also be taken from the village. Everyone came, not caring about his appearance, and surrounded him because he couldn't leave his wife and children. They've got them too. Have you ever observed city people? They're always chirping. If you put them in a line, they chirp from right to left and back again. To and fro. They helped us into the car with such a chatter that we hardly had time to nod to all of them. The gentleman on the driver's seat straightened his pince-nez, whipped his whip, and we were on our way. All the people waved goodbye to the village, as if we were still there, as if we were not sitting among them. Several carriages came out of the town to meet us, and there were people who were particularly impatient. When we approached They all stood up from their seats and stretched their necks to look at us. The fundraiser arranged everything and reminded everyone to be quiet. When we drove into the city, the convoy had formed a long line, and we thought The welcome ceremony is over, but it doesn't start until the hotel gate. Just a call, and immediately a lot of people gather in the city. As long as one person cares about something, there will be a second one. They snatch each other with their breath The other side's point of view is not my own. These people don't all have a car, they wait in front of the hotel, and some people can take a car, but they don't because they are confident. They also wait. It's really incomprehensible, ask How does the guy who pays the bill run the show.'”

I listened quietly to him.Yes, listening to him, I became more and more calm.I piled all the pamphlets in which my article was printed, as long as I had them, on the table.There are only a handful scattered, because I wrote a chain letter not long ago requesting that the articles I sent be returned to me, and most of them returned.Also, quite a few people have written to me very politely to tell me that they can't recall ever receiving such an article, and that if it did arrive, it must have, unfortunately, been lost.Even so, there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, I have no other requirements.Only one person asked me to allow him to keep this article as a rare thing, and promised not to show it to anyone within 20 years, as the chain letter meant.The rural teachers have not seen this chain letter.I'm so glad his words put me so at ease, I want to show it to him.But before that I may do so without scruple, for I have written this chain letter with care not to disregard the interests of the country teachers and their careers.The main content of this chain letter is as follows:

"I am not requesting the return of the article because I have abandoned the views supported in it, nor because I believe that individual parts of them may be false or unverifiable. My request is purely personal, but urgent. Please Do not infer my opinion on the matter from this request. Pass it on, if you will." I temporarily covered the chain letter with my hands and said, "It has come to this point, do you want to blame me? Why do you want to blame me? Let's not hate each other because we broke up. You should try to see clearly, although you have a discovery, but this one probably did not outweigh any others, so your grievance is not the greatest. I don't know the charters of academic societies, but I believe that, even in the most friendly A welcome for you, a welcome that counts as a welcome, as you may have described it to your poor wife. If there was one thing I expected from the impact of this article, it is that I think , perhaps it will bring our matter to the attention of a professor, perhaps he will commission an investigation into it by a young university student who comes to you and, in his own way, re-examines your investigation and mine, Finally, if he thinks the result is worth mentioning--which is certain, every young student is always suspicious--he will publish an article of his own, and what you have written will be in his article. Scientifically justified. Even if this wish were granted, however, the gain would not be great. An article by a student who justifies such a peculiar matter may be laughed at. You have also seen from the example of the agricultural journal that this How easy it is for such a thing to happen, and the scientific journals are even more unscrupulous in this regard. This is also understandable. Professors have many responsibilities to themselves, to science, and to posterity. It is impossible for them to devote themselves to every new discovery at once. The rest of us are superior to them in this regard. But I don't consider this advantage, I now want to assume that the university student's article is a success. What happens next? Maybe your name will be respectfully mentioned a few times , it may be good for your situation, people will say: 'our country teachers have a pair of eyes', this magazine, if it has a good memory and a conscience, will inevitably make a public apology to you, and a well-meaning may follow Get a scholarship for you, professor, it is possible that people will indeed try to get you to move to the city and find you a place in an urban school, so that you can take advantage of what the city has to offer for your further study in science Grants. But if I were to be honest, I would say that I think people are just trying it out. People invited you here and you did, like many others, Just a normal applicant, no big welcome ceremony, people talk to you, recognize your down-to-earth efforts, but also see that you are getting older, it's okay to start scientific research at this age Prospect, your discovery was more by accident than by definite plan, and you never intended to pursue it, except in this particular case. For these reasons, you may have been allowed to remain in the village. Yet you The discovery of will not be shelved, for once acknowledged it is not so small as to be forgotten at any moment. But you will never learn much about it again, and what you do learn you will hardly Incomprehensible. Every discovery will at once be incorporated into the whole of science; thus in a certain sense , it ceases to be a discovery, it melts into the whole, it disappears, and to recognize it again one must have a scientifically trained eye.It is at once connected with principles that we have never heard of, and on the basis of which it has been dragged into obscurity in academic debates.How can we understand these?If we listen to an academic discussion, we think we are discussing this discovery, but they say something else entirely, and the next time we think it is talking about something else, not this discovery, but they say exactly it. "Do you understand? If you stayed in the village, you could have fed and clothed your family better with the money you got, but your find has changed hands and you can't see any reason to do it. Rebel, because it's only in the city that it's really valued. Maybe people won't be without gratitude for you, maybe they'll build a little museum at the place of discovery, it'll be a place of interest in the village, and you'll be the key custodian, so as not to leave any semblance of honour, you will be awarded with a small medal to wear on your breast, as servants of the Academy of Sciences often wear. All this is possible. But are these what you want?" He took no time to answer, but asked very politely, "Are you going to do this for me?" "Perhaps," I said, "I was too thoughtless to answer you now. I tried to help you, but I failed, perhaps the greatest failure of my life. So I now want to withdraw from this project." and do everything in our power to bring it back.” "Very well then," said the country teacher, and taking out his pipe, he began stuffing into it the loose tobacco which he kept in one of his pockets. "You voluntarily cared about this thankless thing, and now you voluntarily withdraw from it, which is completely right!" "I'm not a bigot," I said. "You think maybe I'm to blame for my advice?" "No, not at all," said the country teacher, whose pipe was already puffing.I couldn't stand the smell of the tobacco leaves, so I got up and walked up and down the room.After a few conversations, I got used to the country teacher sitting across from me without saying a word, and once inside, he didn't want to leave my room.This always strikes me as very strange.What else does he want from me, I always think so, so I offer him the money, and he accepts it every time.But every time he left when he wanted to leave.Usually he waited until he finished smoking his pipe, walked around the armchair a few times, moved it to the table in a calm and respectful manner, picked up the cane in the corner, shook my hand warmly, and then Then go out.But today he's sitting there silently and I'm sick of it.Generally speaking, if you express a complete breakup to others, as I did, and others call it completely correct, then deal with the little things that must be settled together as soon as possible, and don't let others accompany you aimlessly. Let you suffer the relatively silent crime.Just look at this small, sturdy old man from behind, and you will be convinced that it is impossible to get him out of this room. ...