Chapter 17 judgment

It was a fine spring Sunday morning, and George Badenman, the young businessman, was sitting in his room on the second floor of his house, a low house of simple construction.These simple houses stretch forward along the river, and they have the same pattern, but differ in height and color.George Bedenman was finishing a letter he had written to a friend of his youth abroad, and he dawdled to seal it, then rested his elbow on the table Looking at the river, the bridge and the highlands on the other side of the window, the shore has shown a green color.He recalled how his friend, dissatisfied with staying at home and prospering, fled the family a few years ago to legally go to Russia.He opened a shop in Petersburg, and it was good for a while, but then it seemed to be bad for a long time.As his friend recounted to Bedenman on his dwindling visits.Thus all his toils abroad were in vain.

His friend's face had been familiar to him since childhood, but his foreign beard did not set off the beauty of his face, and his yellow skin seemed to reveal his developing disease.As he said, he did not have a normal connection with his compatriots in the residential area there, nor did he have social contacts with the local residents, so that he is still single today. What should one write a letter to such a person? Should a man as openly obstinate as he be, a deplorable man, a man beyond help, be persuaded to go back to his own country, restore all his old acquaintances--that would not be a problem--in order to enlist the help of his friends ?In doing so, the more out of kindness to love him, the more he hurt his feelings, that's all.Such persuasion means that his attempts abroad have failed, and he has to rely on his relatives and friends in China, and he has to be stunned and amazed by everyone like a horse that has turned its back.If he returns to China, only his friends may understand him a little bit, and he will have to follow those friends who develop at home and have a successful career like a big child.It is still uncertain whether there is a purpose to his suffering?Perhaps it was impossible to persuade him to come back—he himself said that he was no longer familiar with the conditions in his native land—so he remained in a foreign country in spite of his difficult situation, and the suggestion of returning him made him feel sad, and he and his friends were more serious. estranged.But if he really accepts the suggestion, he won't be overwhelmed here. Of course, it's not talking about subjective wishes, but seeking truth from facts.If he doesn't live among his friends, he can't understand it, he'll be embarrassed, he'll feel that he really doesn't have his country anymore, he doesn't have any friends anymore; it won't do him any good to come back, so he stays abroad, that's all. What's the matter?In this case, can you imagine that he will do well when he comes back?

For the above reasons, if you are going to maintain an honest correspondence with him, do not deal with him in a bureaucratic manner, as some unscrupulous people do with their casual acquaintances.In fact, this friend has only been away from China for a little over three years.He explained that this was due to the unstable political situation in Russia at that time, which made it inappropriate for a small businessman to leave Russia, and at this time, thousands of Russians were traveling all over the world. This explanation can only be said to be an emergency excuse. In these three years, George has undergone great changes.George's mother had died two years ago, and since then he had lived with his elderly father, as George's friends knew, and he had expressed his condolences in dry language in a letter.The reason for the boring language may be that it is unimaginable to send condolences to funerals abroad.Since then, George has revived his company with as much determination as anything else.While his mother was alive, his father was always in charge of the company, and perhaps because of this, his father had prevented George from pursuing his own activities.After my mother died, my father still worked in the company, but even so, maybe the work has become a little colder,-perhaps it was a lucky moment-it was just a possibility.The company has grown unexpectedly in the last two years.The staff has doubled, the turnover has quintupled and there is no doubt that the company will continue to grow.

Friends are unaware of George's change.At first, in his condolence letter to Joe, which was the last letter, he had persuaded George to develop in Russia, that is, to open a branch in Petersburg.The branch is small, the size George currently approves of.But George didn't want to report his business development to his friend at the time, and it would really surprise his friend if he added an account now. But George's letters were limited to a few scattered memories of the past.Such as the recollection of a quiet Sunday, he only writes about the past, these are the long-term impressions of his homeland on his friends, and the friends are very satisfied with these impressions.George also reported to his friends about the marriage contract of an indifferent man and an indifferent girl. The letters between George and his friends were separated by thousands of miles, but George mentioned this three times, so that his friends began to have opinions on George’s letters. interest.

George would rather write about these things than talk about his own experience.In fact he had been engaged only a month before to a well-to-do lady named Frieda Brandenfield, and he had often talked to his fiancée about this friend, and their special correspondence, and she said: "He's not going to come to our wedding at all. I have the right to know all your friends." "I don't want to bother him," replied George, "I understand that he might come, at least I think so. But he's a little forced, and feels discredited, and maybe he'll be jealous of me, certainly not satisfied, but He was unable to eliminate this dissatisfaction, so he went back alone again, alone, -- do you know what loneliness is? Yes, then can we let him know about our marriage in other ways?" "I have no objection to this , but with the way he lives, it doesn't necessarily work."

"If you have a friend like this, you really shouldn't be engaged to me." "Yes, it's our responsibility. But I don't want to think otherwise." At this time George kissed her, she gasped a little, but still Then he said: "It makes me sad." But he thought it would be easy to write to a friend. "I agree, he must bear with me," he said to himself, "I approve of my friendship with him, and I am afraid that there is no other person but myself." In fact he had reported his engagement to his friend in the letter he wrote on Sunday morning.In referring to the matter he said the following: "Finally I have the best news to report to you, that I am engaged to Miss Frieda Brandenfeld, of a wealthy family, after a long journey You have only just settled with us, and you cannot possibly know her, but I shall have occasion to tell you about her in detail later on. I am very happy now, and in this respect only in our relation to each other has something changed, as you My friend, I used to be normal, but now I am happy, and this change in me is enough to make you happy. My fiancée sends you my sincere regards, and she will write to you personally in the future, she will be your My sincere girlfriend, this is not a completely meaningless thing for a bachelor. I know you are full of things and it is impossible to visit us, but isn't attending our wedding a good opportunity for you to get rid of the chores? Of course, don't think about it Too much, just act on your own terms."

With the letter in his hand, George sat for a long time at the table, facing the window.An acquaintance greeted him from the street, and George returned him with an almost imperceptible smile. At last he put the letter in his pocket, came out of his room, and went through a small passage into his father's room.He hadn't been in this room with his father for months.Normally, his father would not force him to come in.His contacts with his father were often in the company, and they had lunch in a restaurant every day.As for dinner, everyone is free.But if it weren't for George's many things, he often spends time with friends or visits his fiancée, their father and son often sit in the living room together and read their own newspapers.George was surprised to see how dimly lit his father's room was even on a sunny day like this morning.A narrow courtyard wall stood opposite to block the sunlight, and my father sat by the window in the corner of the room.Many mementos adorn this corner in memory of my mother who has passed away.The newspaper in his father's hand was tilted to the side to adjust his eyesight. There was leftover breakfast on the table. It seemed that his father hadn't eaten much.

"Ah! George," said the father, and immediately came to meet him.The heavy pajamas were left open as he walked, the hem of which fluttered around him. — "My father was always a giant," he thought. "It's really dark in here," then he said. "Yes, it's dark enough," replied the father. "Did you close the windows too?" "I like this." "It's already warm outside." He sat down as if nostalgic.Father packed the tableware and put it on a cabinet. George paid no attention to his father's movements, and went on:

"I want to tell you that I have told Petersburg about my engagement." He squeezed the letter in his pocket and put it down again. "Why tell Petersburg? Petersburg?" asked the father. "Tell my friends," said George, searching his father's gaze. — "He's something else in the company," he thought, "how generous he is here! Arms folded." "Ah, for your friend," my father said with emphasis. "You know, father, that I didn't disclose the engagement at first. Considering that, for no other reason than you know, he was a difficult man, I mean, although he Little, it is unlikely to know about our situation, but it is still possible for him to learn about my engagement from other channels, which I cannot stop. But as far as I am concerned, it is not appropriate for him to know about our affairs."

"And do you think otherwise now?" the father asked, putting the newspaper on the window sill, and putting the glasses on the newspaper and covering them with his hands. "Yes, I reconsidered, and if he were my good friend, I mean, my happy marriage would be a blessing to him too. So I didn't hesitate anymore, and I wrote to tell you about it. He. But before I send the letter, let me tell you." "George," said Father, pulling his toothless mouth wide. "Look, you've come to me for advice on this matter, and of course you mean it well. But it's a trivial matter, and I won't care if you don't tell me the whole story. Things outside of company business. There have been some unpleasant things since your mother died. Maybe she should have come, maybe she came earlier than we thought. There are some things I can't control in the company, and I know— ——I don’t want to care about it at all now. Outsiders don’t know this——I don’t have enough energy, my memory is declining, and I can’t take care of everything. On the one hand, this is the law of nature. Overtaken you.—But since we are now involved with this matter, with this letter. Don't lie to me, George, it's a small thing, not worth mentioning, so don't lie to me, in Petersburg you Is there really such a friend?"

George stood up in embarrassment, "Let's not talk about friends anymore, a thousand friends can't replace my father, do you know what I think? You don't love yourself enough, and you should be taken care of reasonably when you are old. I am indispensable in my company, you know that very well. But if the busy business of the company affects your health, it is not acceptable. I will say the same tomorrow and forever. We must arrange another A way of life that completely changes your life, you sit in the dark, in a room where you should have plenty of sunlight, you mess with your breakfast instead of fortifying as prescribed; you sit by a closed window , and the ventilation will do you good. No, my father, I will send for the doctor, and we will follow his instructions. We will change your room, and you should go to the front house, and I will move here. No Another idea. Everything is taken care of, everything is taken care of, we still have time, now you just lie in bed for a while, you absolutely need to rest, just like that, I can change rooms for you, you will understand that I can do it, or you now Just go into the front room. You just lie down on my bed for a while. Besides, you're very wise." George had just stood beside his father, who now had a mop of white hair falling on his chest. "George," my father whispered, standing still.George immediately knelt beside his father. Looking at his father's tired face, he felt that the stunned pupils in the corners of his eyes were particularly large. "You said that you have a friend in Petersburg. You are a person who always likes to joke, and you don't even restrain yourself from me. How can you have a friend there? I don't believe it at all." "Just think about it, father," said George, lifting his father from the couch, where he stood, still quite weak.Meanwhile George took off his pajamas for his father. "It's been almost three years since my friend came to see us, and I remember you didn't particularly like him. I denied him being my friend at least twice in front of you. Twice, though, he Sitting in my room, I can totally understand why you don't like him, he's a bit weird; but then you had a chat with him, and you got along very well. You listened to him, nodding and asking questions, and I said to him He was very proud of it. If you think about it, you can recall that he also told some incredible stories about the Russian Revolution. For example, when he was on a business trip to Kyiv, in the middle of the chaos he saw a The priest stood on the balcony, stabbed the palm of his hand with the bloody cross, held up the wounded hand, and appealed to the crowd, and you will tell the story." At this point, George was able to seat his father again, and pull his hemp underpants Carefully take off the overcoat and woolen trousers.When he saw his vest, which was not particularly clean, he blamed his father for negligence, and it must be George's responsibility to replace his father with a vest.He hadn't obviously spoken to his fiancée about his father's arrangements, because they had secretly agreed that he should stay in the old house.However, now he suddenly decided to move his father together to his own future new home, but if you look carefully, this kind of care for his father seems to have come too late.He carried his father to bed, at this time he had a terrible feeling, he took a few steps towards the bed, at this time he noticed that his father was stroking the watch chain on his chest, he couldn't put his father on the bed immediately, The watch chain fastened firmly to himself. He lay on the bed, all seemed well, tucked himself in, even pulled the quilt over his shoulders especially, and looked up at George with not unfriendly eyes. "Did you? You remember him?" asked George, nodding encouragingly. "Am I covered now?" the father asked, as if he couldn't see below and wondered if the feet were covered enough. "You like being in bed," George said, pulling the covers around him. "Have I covered it yet?" my father asked again, seeming to pay attention to George's answer. "Be quiet! Your quilt is covered." "No!" cried his father, and George's words were knocked back. Father lifted the quilt.In an instant, all the quilts were thrown back.Father stood up vigorously on the bed. It's just that he put one hand on the ceiling, "I don't know, you have to cover me with a quilt, you idiot, but my quilt has not been covered yet, this is my last strength, but it is enough to deal with you, More than enough. Maybe I know a friend of yours, and he may be my favorite son! You have been lying to him for years on this issue, why on earth? Do you think I have not cried for him! You put yourself Closed in the office, no one can bother you, the manager is busy - just to write this deceitful letter to Russia, fortunately no one enlightened the father to see through the son. As you think, you have defeated He, he has fallen to such an extent that your ass is sitting on his head, and he moves every step of the way. At this moment, my young master decided to get married." George now saw a terrible image of his father, who suddenly knew his friend in Petersburg so well, and who had never touched him so much before.George watched him disappear in far away Russia, he saw him standing by the door of an empty, looted store, all the shelves in ruins, and he stood in the midst of the ruins, the goods torn, the gas lamp brackets off After falling, he is still standing among this pile of trash, why did he go so far away! "Look at me," my father yelled.Almost absent-mindedly, George ran to the bed to grab everything, but stopped on the way. "Because she lifted her skirt." Father began to speak softly. "Because she lifted her skirt, the annoying goose." Father rolled up his pajamas, so high. As a result, the scars left by the war years on the thighs were revealed. "Because she lifted her skirts up high, old high, you've clinged to her, satisfied her without hindrance. It's tarnished the memory of mother, betrayed friends, put father on the bed, and made him Move, but can he move?" He stood up with complete ease, swinging his legs, elated with his own sagacity. George stood in a corner, as far away from his father as possible, determined to keep a close eye on everything, in case he could turn any corner without being overwhelmed by various attacks from behind and from above.Now he suddenly remembered the decision he had forgotten for a long time, and forgot, like passing a short thread through the eye of a needle, the thread broke. "A friend is not betrayed!" cried the father.Father's forefinger wags, which adds weight to his words. "I'm his representative here." "You're playing tricks," George had to shout, but he realized at once that it was a loss, but it was too late.He bit his tongue, his eyes were stunned, he bit his tongue so painful that he fell down. "Yes, of course I played tricks, and tricks are a fine word!" What other consolation do you have for your old widower, your father?Say it!At this moment of answering, you are still my living son-what is left for me?Have dishonest people stalk me around my room till I'm a handful of old bones?And my son cheered the world over.Shut down the company, I'm ready for that.You flipped somersaults for fun.Come to your father with an honest face.I don't like you anymore, get out of me, what do you think? " "If he falls, he'll lean forward first," thought George, and the words came to mind, and his father leaned forward but didn't fall.Because George didn't lean forward to his father, as he expected, his father stood up again. "Don't move, just stand there, I don't need you. You think you have the strength to come here, don't come here because you want to, you're not mistaken, I'm still strong, if I'm alone, maybe I would back down, but your mother gave me strength, I kept in touch with your friends and your customer network was in my pocket." "And pockets on his shirt," thought George, who felt his father's words could kill him.He thought about it for a while, and he always forgot everything. "Go get entangled with that woman of yours, and oppose me. I'll sweep her away from you, and there's nothing you can do." George made a face, as if he didn't believe it, and his father merely nodded, but everything he said was true, proclaimed to the corner where George stood. "Come and talk to me today, and when you come, you ask me if I'm going to write to tell your friend about the marriage. Actually, your friend knows everything, stupid fellow, he knows everything! I've given He wrote because you forgot to take away my four treasures of study. Although he has not been to us for several years, he knows more about the situation than you. He does not read the letters you wrote to him and crumpled them into paper The ballet is in his left hand, while in his right he is holding my letter and reading." His arms were shaking above his head in agitation. "He knows a thousand times more than you!" he cried. "A thousand times more than me!" George sneered at his father, but before the words came out, the voice died away. "I've noticed over the years that you come to me with this question. Do you think there are other questions tormenting me? Do you think I'm reading a newspaper? Here!" He tossed a newspaper over.It was an old newspaper under the bed, with a name on it that George didn't know at all. "How long did you hesitate before you were mature! Mother was going to die, she couldn't see such happy days. My friend perished in Russia, or was he deported three years ago with yellow fever, and me? As you can see, this is what I look like. You have eyes! " "You ambushed me!" cried George. The father added sympathetically: "You should have said this, but now you can't get through," and then said loudly: "Now you know that there is something besides you. Before, you only knew yourself. You were an innocent child, but you were a devilish figure! I sentence you to death now, and you are gone forever." George felt himself being driven out of the room, with his father behind him He hit the bed hard, and the sound of the blow echoed in his ears. On the stairs, descending the steps, as if on a sloping slab, he bumped into his maid, who was going to tidy up the house. "My God!" She covered her face with her apron, but he had already fled.He jumped out of the gate, across the driveway to the river, leaped up like a good gymnast, and clung to the railing of the bridge like a beggar.He was originally an excellent gymnast, which used to be the pride of his parents in his youth.He hung from the railing, his hands growing weaker and weaker, but he held on, and between the railing posts of the bridge he saw a car passing with ease, the noise of which might have drowned his body. Tragic move.He cried softly: "My dear parents, I have always loved you!" and fell into the water. At this moment, the traffic to and fro has never been interrupted