Chapter 6 North Fan

In the end, the father led the whole family to move from Henggang Town to the county seat.According to him, the quality of teaching in townships is not good.One day, he saw several teachers in the town riding their bicycles on the asphalt road with big bamboo on their backs. He said, "Isn't it a mistake to sell bamboo during class time?" So I transferred to the second county middle school. On the way to relocate my family, I saw Fan Ruyi, a classmate who entered junior high school together.Engrossed in his books, his calf wandered onto the road, blocking the truck.The driver honked the horn, raised his wet head, looked at us numbly and calmly, then took the cow away and continued reciting.He is an idiot who cannot be woken up. It is said that he only sleeps for two hours a day on the grounds that "after death, he will sleep forever".Whether he was walking, eating, or going to the toilet, he always recited a book in his hand, so he suffered from neurasthenia, headache, dizziness, and forgetfulness, like a funnel. cycle.In the first year of the third year of junior high school, he was only a few points away from the score line. In the second year, he was only in the middle of the class in the test.The townspeople shook their heads and sighed.Fan Ruyi was the first person in the county to skip a grade. He jumped into the third grade after half a year in the first grade. At that time, the school held a ceremony and invited the deputy county magistrate and directors of the city and county education committees.Fan Ruyi recited whichever article the leaders clicked on, and sometimes only one word was clicked on the title, and he had already recited a paragraph first.He closed his eyes, opened and closed his lips like a cheerful machine, and ejected the Chinese characters, while a total of 900 of us students sat below, he recited a page, we turned a page, and there was a neat sound in the playground Beep.At that time, there were one or two thousand people who came to see the excitement, and the loess field was covered with shoe prints. When the ceremony was over, another liberation vehicle drove over with a dozen people. Under their clamor, Fan Ruyi recited pi again until it reached one thousand. Surplus.

"Amazing." The director of the district education committee stood up and shook hands with the deputy county magistrate, and said, "We will use all our financial and material resources to focus on protection and cultivation." I failed the mid-year exam. "Maybe he was too nervous." Teachers, parents, and himself all thought so, but in the second year, he was tested three times for him, but he still didn't work. In 1991, I was promoted from middle school to high school in No. 2 County Middle School. In the past, my classmates in the town wrote to me saying that Fan Ruyi had failed the exam, with a total score of less than 200.It is said that when he saw the grades, he was inexplicably sad and indignant, and went to the teacher, who was also inexplicably sad, and froze for a while.This sadness is hard to describe, just like a compassionate master who knows that his apprentice will never achieve anything, or a compassionate doctor who knows that the patient's death is not far away, he can't explain it, he can only touch the other person.Fan Ruyi shook off his hand and said viciously:

"Just tell me if I still have hope? Tell me clearly." "No." Fan Ruyi seemed to have been hit by a stick, said "OK", turned around and left.Originally, I could walk to my home one mile to the east, but I turned back after walking two or three miles to the west by mistake. The teacher followed me on a bicycle for a long time.When he entered the room, he couldn't cry or howl, so he jerked up in front of the bed and fell on the bed.His parents pinched him violently.The teacher said: "Tell him, he must be talented, but the road of studying is temporarily blocked." Later, Fan Ruyi became a farmer, sometimes selling some melons, fruits and drinks on the side of the road, like slag falling into space, No audio.

In 2001, I was already a secretary in the County Public Security Bureau Office. Because the Henggang Police Station wanted to create a Provincial People’s Satisfaction Police Station, I was sent to write materials.Revisiting the old place, I can't help but feel that time is deceiving. The uncle who used to think tall is actually only 1.6 meters, and those classmates who were young have dark faces, and they already look like middle-aged people.Only Fan Ruyi still had pale skin, as if she had a layer of dead skin on her bones. "When he looks at people, his eyes are like hitting others with a stick." Nie Xinrong, a former classmate and now a joint defense member of the police station, said.It is said that from a certain day, Fan Ruyi slept during the day, went to the top of the mountain at night, meditated on the space alone, and then came back covered in dew.

"Is he still otherworldly?" I said. "Hey, how can there be such a person?" Nie Xinrong said one thing.In the autumn of 1998, the township government assigned an out-of-town technical secondary school student. He looked about seventeen or eighteen years old. Those soft breasts underneath.In addition, the demeanor is smooth and flowing, and the eyes are looking forward to shine, just like the play says, "it makes people ecstasy the most when they see it".The married and unmarried are all obsessed, crowding towards the door of the dormitory, swearing oaths and booing, and soon they all become bored.It is said that there are thirteen harsh conditions, all of which are indispensable for a man to conquer.But Fan Ruyi broke through the solid wall and cleared the field with a few words.How to say that, but Nie Xinrong couldn't say it, so I went to Yuanjing Village to find Fan Ruyi.

It was a dilapidated house with black bricks and black tiles, and the pale "囍" was pasted on the door lintel. Other houses had aluminum alloy windows, but their house was still made of glass, and film was nailed to the air leakage.When I entered, he was weaving bamboo baskets under the light bulb with a very low wattage. When he saw me, he was stunned. Drink a glass of sugar water. "Don't just leave, I'm worried, there's no one to talk about so many things," he said. "Wait a minute, I'm going to the bathroom." When I went across the kitchen to look for it, I found that his woman was dry, thin, sloppy, with one leg tied by a thick rope, and she was sitting on the ground throwing pebbles, playing a game.When she saw me, her eyes lit up, she smiled happily, and there was a stream of snot hanging from her nostrils.When I asked later, Fan Ruyi pointed to her head and said, "There's a problem here, and it's happening again."

"How did you find her to be your wife?" "I didn't get sick when I was looking for it. It's been like this for almost a year. I can't get rid of it. At that time, I still thought it was beautiful." Then he became impatient, changed the subject, and said, "Do you think I was stupid at the time? I only know how to recite. , English, and mathematics, physics and chemistry. I just memorized some formulas, and I even memorized the test papers. I memorized hard. How to solve the first step and how to solve the second step are all memorized clearly. The test questions are all in my heart. I just pick out which question to take the test from my mind, but I don’t know. I will definitely not take the test again. I recited myself. It was only later that I woke up, but it was already too late I should have known that reciting is a dead end, and thinking is the real skill, the shortcut to the truth and solving problems. Unfortunately, I was deceived by my memory and let the useless knowledge fill my head, even high school. If you fail the exam, you become a person who is useless to society.”

"It can't be said that, the test is just one of the ways to test a person, it is by no means the only way." "I'm very happy when you say that. I also think that there is no unparalleled path, as long as the method is correct, there will be no unreasonable reason in the world." But he wanted to continue talking eloquently, and I interrupted: "Xiao Han from the town government is What's going on, I heard that your words changed her." "Hey." He slapped his head, as if remembering this, he had a few moments of fun before talking about that:

At that time, he was also working as an accountant in the village. One day, he suddenly drove a jeep from the town, and it was Xiao Han who accompanied the leader to check.He was under the gu at that time, and Xiao Han followed wherever he went, but he didn't dare to speak.After eating, she walked to the door to admire the fields. After hesitating again and again, he still stepped forward and said solemnly like the Holy Father: "The most important thing in life is to enjoy yourself in time." "How?" she said. He was about to run away, but when he saw that the other party was not malicious, he continued to strike up a conversation: "Do you know how far a person can see?"

"One or two miles, ten miles or eight miles? Is it important?" "You can look at the sky." She looks up. "That white cloud is 1,600 kilometers away from us," he said.At this moment, something unexpectedly brightened in her eyes.He continued: "You can still see that the moon is 384,000 kilometers away from us, the sun is 150 million kilometers away, and the North Star is 324 light years away. Do you understand light years?" "don't know." "Light year is one of the best words invented by human beings. It refers to time, but it refers to distance. The distance that light travels in a year is called a light year, and the speed of light is 300,000 kilometers per second. It is equivalent to walking from the earth to the moon in one second. Think about how many seconds in a year, and how much distance does it take? And the Polaris needs to be multiplied by 324 years. This is what you can see with the naked eye."

"so far?" "Yes. An ancient poem says that the stars can be picked by hand. How do we pick them? The stars we see are actually just the light they emit. The most distant star discovered by human beings is more than 10 billion light-years away from the earth. And more than 10 billion years ago , the universe just began to explode, and what we see now is only the light emitted by this star when it was born. Some stars we see may have been turned into ashes and no longer exist, but the light emitted by it is still coming to the earth It’s like a dead person whose voice is still on its way to our eardrums. It’s a horrible thought.” Then he said: "Have you ever thought about space? Do you think space has an end?" "should have." "Impossible. For example, this cottage is endless. It is more than 70 square meters, but you will not believe it is the whole world. There are grasslands and fields outside the house. The earth is also limited, but the earth Not all, there is an atmosphere outside the earth. Neither is the Milky Way, there is a universe beyond the Milky Way. Beyond the universe, there is a larger universe. It is difficult for you to think of an end. As long as there is an object, the surroundings will never Not nothingness, but something bigger. "We have never been the masters of heaven and earth. In the final analysis, we are just an insignificant dust in the infinite world. Our production is just the result of countless accidental superpositions. These accidents brought us by accident. Similarly, they will inevitably take us away. We are like taking away the dinosaurs. Like the dinosaurs, we can’t even predict the basic earthquakes and tsunamis. You see, above the earth, in the infinite space we face, there are a large number of law-abiding , and objects that coexist peacefully with us, there are also many obedient and unreasonable objects. For more than 4 billion years, they are like ignorant children, whistling and flying around, constantly threatening the earth—they But it has collided with the earth many times. Many meteorites you know come from that unknown world. Meteorites are small. If they are hit by asteroids or comet nuclei, human beings will suffer, just like what happened to dinosaurs .When and where they hit depends entirely on their irrational operation. As the masters of the earth, we are completely powerless. "Maybe the next thing to take over as our master will be a mouse, maybe a new mutated species, maybe the earth itself will disappear and become a myriad of tiny stones floating in the air. Objects are coming. I stay on the top of the mountain and watch every day. When the weather is particularly good, I will be terrified. I see that the covering clouds have all disappeared, and the sky is full of naked murderers. I never thought that in our lonely home Beyond that, there will be so many eager and shameless objects. If any one of them grows by a millimeter, I will go into convulsions, which means that it is rushing towards us at a very fast speed. I often say: I hope this is just an illusion. The reality is also an illusion. What we see is actually quite safe. What I am afraid of is those who cannot be seen for a while. They have been running quietly like invisible people for a long time, and we Unaware of it. Maybe when we wake up tomorrow morning, there will be a dirty snowball with a diameter of several thousand kilometers swooping down over our field of vision, in those hundreds of kilometers. It is not impossible. No one has ever guaranteed us To be able to have eternity, our destiny is like what Chairman Mao said, 'If the broom does not reach, the dust will not run away by itself'. When the broom arrives, we will definitely be wiped out." As he spoke, he brought Xiao Han, who was sweating a little, to the side of the soil bank, and uncovered a stone.A group of ants fled in all directions.But after realizing that there was no further danger, they ran back, reorganized an efficient society, and moved in an orderly manner. "Look, they're at ease now, overconfident." As he said, he trampled them into powder one by one. "After a second, they're gone. When and how much they'll die out is entirely up to me, and they can't predict it." , and can’t be calculated. And our position in the infinite universe is no different from that of an ant. Compared with the infinite universe, the mass of us and the ant is close to zero. Our intelligence is not much higher than that of the ant.” The seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl was momentarily overwhelmed by the surging knowledge, and froze like an ice edge. "This is an ancient understanding that the most important thing in life is to enjoy yourself in time." Fan Ruyi emphasized. "So, she's with you?" I looked towards the kitchen. "How is it possible? She didn't touch it with her hands. She slept with a rich man from the county that night. And I think she may believe in the legend of the end of the world in the millennium, and her wisdom has reached that point." "Aren't you sorry?" "Yeah kinda, but in a sense I've got her." "how to say?" "Because there is such a probability." "What probability?" "It is the probability provided by infinity. It will be very complicated to say this way. Let me make an analogy, if it is only 10,000 square kilometers, then a village is special; but if it is 1 million square kilometers, then there will be a village with it. For roughly similar villages, the height of the mountains they rely on, the width of the river they face, the area of ​​rice fields they occupy, and the number of people living there will be about the same; and if they are located in 100 million square kilometers, then very There may be two very close villages. The property of each household, how many sons they have, and what the sons look like may all be the same; and if the space is infinite, then there will be at least two identical villages. Village. When we realize that space has no boundaries, we should realize that it has the same probability of objects. In the infinite space, there is not only one earth, but countless earths; in countless earths, there are countless development processes The same earth; in these same earths, there are also countless human beings with the same development process; in these same human beings, there are countless identical me. Don’t feel weird, just think of the word infinity, Then I know that everything is possible. And the countless same me will split into countless different me. It’s like a path forks. Some go east, some go west, and the final result is It's completely different. On this earth, Xiao Han and I were close to each other, but on another earth, she fell into my arms. "But it's just masturbation. Because of this sameness, it's like two identical plants in the vast ocean, they are far away, alone, and insignificant to the whole world. We can't have all of us, we can't have all of us Chance, every choice we make means we are forced to kill other possibilities. Infinity means nothing to us. This is why we hesitate and suffer. We are destined to choose only one, and this The choice brought about is doomed to misfortune. No matter what the outcome is, it is doomed to misfortune. Because—” At this time, he looked extremely distressed: "Because there is always something better. From a relative point of view, what we choose is always worse. We can see worse than what we choose, but it is only half a step away. We Every step of the choice is a bitter fruit, and we will always live in regret. Living is meaningless." "Isn't it enough to be content and happy?" I said. "No." "If you ignore it, it can't do anything to you. You always think about it, of course it's sad." "No. You don't understand at all. You have never been insulted and hurt like I have been, never unforgettable, never painful, not even shed a tear. You don't know that this is human suffering, and I represent It is human beings. You are muddled, unlike me who has seen through it long ago. Every day, you just want to turn into a stone and lie on the top of the mountain. You neither choose people nor let people choose, neither choose the world nor let the world choose. However, you Sooner or later you will understand, as long as you think of a word, death, you will understand. Choices are ugly and meaningless. To live is to feel hurt and nothing else. The vast universe, the sprawling nebula, the endless The possibility of this has nothing to do with us, we are just a scoop of weak water, and when we drink it, we will turn into dry bones. When we die, the people on the earth are still singing and dancing, and the countless "I" scattered in the multiverse are also singing and dancing ...we become part of an eternal silence, never to be recovered, as any of our ancestors were." After debating this reason, he sighed again: "We are all limited." Then he said: "I once waited for a signal from outer space on the top of a mountain, just like a self-sufficient native waiting for a foreign ship by the sea. I Thinking that since we have sent signals into outer space many times, aliens must also send signals to us." "What do you rely on to receive the signal?" "radio." "radio?" "Yes, the radio." "Have you received it?" He shook his head and said: "The conditions are simple, and we are basically beyond our control. And later I also felt that even if the current human beings exhaust their wisdom and build the most advanced receiving equipment, they may not be able to receive it. The signal is weak. When it reaches its destination safely, it may be 20,000 years later. No one will monitor this kind of signal all year round. It may pass by those people and run away forever. And, even if it can be received, it may become It becomes an unsolvable code. It is very difficult for us human beings to recognize the original characters now, let alone in the distant future? Compared with aliens, our intelligence may be very superior or very inferior. We are the same as them Duck said, it is purely useless work. "At one time, I also thought that time travel existed. I was looking forward to going back to the past, so that I could modify the past. But then I found out that this is a paradox. A person who grows from A, we call him A+, and he goes back to the past. Modify A to make A into B, and what will appear in the future must be B+. Then this A+ will be emptied. Another example is the famous example in the movie. A person goes back to the past and prevents his parents from loving each other. If they cannot love each other, then If you can’t give birth to him, then he will be empty. Moreover, if there is a possibility of time retrograde, why don’t we even see a future person today? Why is there no relevant record in history?” "Humanity's technology has not yet developed to that point, and when it develops, someone will definitely come back." "No. Let me tell you, our lives are limited. When we die, we die, just like the people of the Qing Dynasty and the Ming Dynasty. When people in the future master the technology of returning, and come back, we can still live to meet us. Are they? Is this possible? So, if such a miracle exists, we must be able to see it. We cannot see it, so where did they all go back to?” "Maybe when we humans are about to have this technology, the earth will be destroyed." "No, if there is a possibility of time retrograde, people on alien planets will definitely come back here. But no. According to Einstein's theory, when humans move at a speed close to the speed of light, time will slow down. For example, a A person takes a spaceship to travel near a massive black hole for one year, during which time the earth may have passed 100 years. Then when he returns to the earth, he enters the future, and his grandson will be older than him. But this is not time travel, but only It can be said to be a kind of health preservation. Just like a doctor puts people to sleep and delays the failure of his organs, then when he wakes up, he will find himself younger than others. I think the principle of time travel is: there are two selves. If one People can see another self in the future, then I admit it is time travel, if there is only one self, then it is magic.” "Ok." "And I feel like time doesn't exist." "how to say?" "Don't you think that time is just a vocabulary invented by humans? It is different from atoms and neutrons. It is abstract. Can you hold it? Can you find a drawer of time, a centimeter of time, or a room of time Is it? Everything in the world can be measured, even electromagnetic waves, but time cannot, because time is not a thing. Geographically speaking, we can travel from east to west, and then back to east, but we cannot travel from the past Go to the future, or go to the past from the future, because we have neither a fulcrum for takeoff nor a target for landing. We say that time exists forever, or it never exists, and at the same time we can say that it exists and dies all the time. We all It is using spatial thinking to perceive it, it has always been like this, for example, it is an arrow that burns quickly and goes out instantly. This is in line with my imagination. We feel the most clearly about the present, and it is full of light now, but as long as the present Once the past has passed, it immediately becomes a black hole, and so does the future. Before the future comes, it must be a bottomless abyss. I always think that time is the subtitles that appear below the karaoke, and there is a short light moving with the melody , to remind you which word to sing. This light is now. Everything it passes through turns into darkness, and what it has not yet reached is also darkness. Remember, only the present appears to have light, and it can be attached to space and sensed a little bit. You Say, how do we humans travel in time? If we can go back, which period of darkness should we go back to? Which minute of darkness? Which second of darkness? Which 1/2 second or 1/4 second of darkness?" "have no idea." "I can't go back anywhere. Because there is no such concept as minutes and seconds." "don't know." "All the concepts we have about time, such as vastness, shortness, vastness, and distortion, are all based on spatial thinking. Time itself does not agree, and time is essentially empty." He went on to say: "Once, I had a dream where I fell off the line for some reason, one second behind the humans. That is, I was one second behind now. It was probably the scariest dream I've ever had , I saw all of you who were there just now disappeared, and within my field of vision (up, down, left, and right), there was a deep and far void. I passed through one layer of sky, and then another layer, and kept flying in infinity in vain—there There is neither gravitation nor any substance that can inspire me. I tried to find an exit from this void, so I slowly hallucinated countless pipes, each of which was tens of miles long, and I climbed in one by one to test it out. Are you over there? I often swim halfway through and withdraw because there is no hope. And when I turn around, I feel that if the only you are right there, wouldn’t I miss it forever? I just like that It was like circling in a vast desert, and finally my spirit collapsed. Then I went blind, floating aimlessly in the air like a leaf, and it took a long time to hear an echo. That was you shouting in the valley, where are you, Fan Ruyi? Your shouts hit the mountains and echoed, and I heard them when I was a second late. I swam over with tears in my eyes and responded: I am here! But you will never hear the shouts of a person from the black hole." At this time, he seemed to be showing off his original fear, shaking his head and showing off his teeth and claws.I got up and said: "I have to go, the director over there still wants me to eat." He was trembling, and he continued to talk, seeing me pick up the bag, he said: "Those directors, township heads, county heads, The Secretary-General of the United Nations is a bird." On New Year's Day in 2011, I had been in Beijing for six years, and I was about to switch from a website to a magazine.I quit my job in the county many years ago and lived freely for a long time. I have long regarded myself as a person in the quack.But there will always be calls from acquaintances from my hometown who say, "Guess, guess where I am now?" "Beijing." I said calmly.I know that in the future I will treat them to dinner and guide them.I also know that they will praise me for my courage to go out to work and say in my heart that I am a fool, so stupid that I don't even want a job in the civil service.Sometimes I lie in disgust: I'm out of town on business. When the New Year's Day holiday was coming to an end, another person with a hometown accent called: "Is it Ai Guozhu?" "yes." Then there was an ashamed silence over there, and it took a long time before he said: "I don't know if I should say something or not." "you say." "If you didn't, just pretend I didn't." "you say." "I'm Fan Ruyi." "I know." "It's rare that you still remember me after all these years." "Let me tell you, I have to pay the monthly payment every month, and I don't have much left." "Just a little bit." He seemed to relax, and said: "I called from a public phone, I can't go back in Beijing." Although I was irritable, I went to the West Railway Station.He was wearing a simple but clean suit and was shivering against the phone booth, so I took him to buy a train ticket.After buying it, seeing that it was still early, I simply invited him to eat ramen again.He quickly poured down a bowl of soup and noodles, and seeing that I didn't like it, he ate my portion too.I said, "What are you doing in Beijing?" "Participate in the Asia-Pacific Cosmology Research Conference." "what?" "Conference of liars." He went on to say: "When I received the written notice, I couldn't believe that I was able to attend the meeting with so many academicians, experts, and doctoral supervisors. So I called them, and they said simply, Just to inform you, we submitted your article to the judges for reading. The judges were very excited, and they personally ordered you to come. We will pay for the transportation and transportation expenses. I found that article and reread it. I read a sentence and doubted myself once, but when I finished reading it, I suddenly fell in love with it. When I first wrote that brilliant passion, I couldn’t help but burst into tears, who said that the world is unfair, but why did Huang Zhong give up?” When he said this, there was contempt on the corner of his mouth, as if he was not laughing at himself, but others. "Before I went out, I thought of the word "destroy the boat," and thought that I would become famous soon, so why bother to retreat. So I spent everything I had, invited a few tables of guests, bought a plane ticket and came to Beijing. This is my first time to fly The plane stopped in the middle of the flight, and I looked out the window, and there were cotton-like clouds, boundless. I thought, this is a scene outside the earth, and outside the earth, the truth Zeno said may indeed exist, that is, If you want to reach a certain destination, you must first reach its 1/2, 1/4, 1/8, 1/16... Such a subdivision, you will be infinitely close to static. But soon the fuselage bumped up, and I Knowing that what I fell into just now was just an illusion.” "Did you attend the meeting?" "No. The person in charge of the reception was very enthusiastic. He showed me the meeting materials, introduced the situation of the hotel, and talked for four or five minutes. Suddenly, he came to see me. He said that everything, including speeches, discussions, awards, and article publications, etc., needs to be paid. A certain amount of money for activities. They say it’s also to keep this great but poor business running.” "You handed it in?" "Where do I have money? The cheapest one has to pay 10,000 yuan. I thought that I would enter the family and be taken care of by the country. I only left a few dozen yuan for myself. I never thought that it would cost tens of thousands to enter the door. I said that I was an amateur engaged in scientific research and philosophy, and that I couldn’t make a living, so where would I find spare money. They said I was humble, but later they found that I had no money, so they asked the security guard to take me away.” "That's it." "Yeah, the world is hateful, so I want to borrow money from you." "Forget it, one or two hundred yuan." I thought he was so wronged to come here, and all his savings were wiped out, so I kindly tried to persuade him, but he politely scolded the Cosmology Research Conference after me, and then he revealed a new discovery: "You think, in the first 0.000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 seconds of the Big Bang, the universe was only the size of a pea, but it only reached the 0.000th ,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,01 seconds, it has expanded to a scale of tens of billions of light-years in diameter. By the 9 billionth year, the earth was formed, and then In the past 4.7 billion years, human beings appeared. Human beings invented explosives and nuclear weapons in the 19th and 20th centuries respectively. Explosives can destroy objects hundreds or thousands of times larger than it, and the energy released by the fission of 1,000 grams of uranium is greater than that produced by the explosion of 1,000 grams of explosives. The energy released is 20 million times larger. Nuclear weapons bring high temperature and strong radiation. While destroying the old world, they are destined to create a new world. I think that human wisdom is progressive. One day, we will also be able to pass A grain of matter much smaller than a pea creates a universe with a diameter of tens of billions of light-years. At that time, we were God, and we said there must be light, so there was light. This possibility exists.” "so?" "Yes, I read the Bible in the past, saying that God created man in his own image. I only lied, but now I think it makes sense. If human beings can create the universe, they must be able to create sunlight, air and water, and like them. Same human being." "You mean there is a God?" "Yes. How did man come? God made him in his own image; and how did God come? Man guessed it in his own image. I would like to say: They guessed right. Far away, There may be a God who created the universe as we are today and who we are today. He may have been watching us, or he may have died long ago, and his life may not be sufficient for the miracles he performed." Later, he squeezed into the hard-seat carriage and went back to the simple countryside, and he still hasn’t sent me any money to this day.During the National Day, I brought a foreign friend back to my hometown. After a few days, I ran into Nie Xinrong who ran a supermarket in the county town. I heard that Fan Ruyi had disappeared.It was probably May, and he never returned to Yuanjing Village's home. If his father-in-law hadn't found him, his fettered wife would have starved to death.The village head mobilized hundreds of people to search along the road, and finally found a hill, where they found a collapsed tent, a mottled satellite pot (with a few blackened twigs in the pot), some books from the town library, Several piles of dry feces and a piece of white paper pressed by stones.On it was written in pencil a word: MUST Young people know the word, but can't make sense of it.Everyone only said that he had suffered enough in the world, went to a temple to become a monk, wandered in a distant place, or committed suicide in a valley.Soon after hearing that a corpse was found on the mountain, people from Yuanjing Village went to see it and judged that the owner of the corpse should be a short female.The crowd died down at this point.I think, like Gauguin, he may have left work and family, left this secular world that makes people more and more mediocre, and searched for the truth without hesitation.And I think he should be lying on the top of the mountain, taking the earth as the starting point, getting rid of gravity, and going step by step to the eternal and silent space.