Chapter 2 chess story

A giant passenger ship will sail from New York to Buenos Aires at midnight today.The ship is about to weigh anchor, and at this moment, there is a common tension and busy scene on board and off the ship: the guests on the pier are crowded to see off their friends, and the telegraph carrier with his hat crooked passes through the lounges, shouting the names of passengers; Passengers are dragging suitcases and holding flowers; children are curiously running up and down the steps of the passenger ship, and the band is playing hard on the deck tirelessly.I was standing on the upper deck chatting with a friend, a little out of the rowdy crowd.At this time, the flashing lights beside us flashed two or three times—probably some well-known person was still accepting a quick interview and taking pictures of the reporter just before setting sail.My friend looked over there and said with a smile, "Czentovic is on your boat, he is a rare monster." Hearing what he said, I had a very puzzled expression on my face, so he went on He explained: "Mirko Czentovic is the world chess champion. He has won all the games on the tour from east to west in the United States, and now he is sailing to Argentina to win new victories."

After he said it, I really thought of this young world champion, and even remembered some details of his blockbuster and fame all over the world. My friend reads newspapers more carefully than I do, so I can pick up a lot of anecdotes To add the little details I know.About a year ago, Czentovic suddenly joined the ranks of such prestigious chess masters as Alekhine, Capablanca, Tartakowell, Lasker, and Pogolyubov.Not since Reshevsky, a seven-year-old prodigy, exploded in the New York Chess Tournament in 1922 has there been such a stir in the world of chess when an unknown person breaks into the ranks of famous masters.For Czentovic's intellectual qualities never foreshadowed his glamorous career in the first place.He soon revealed: the chess master could not write a single sentence without error in any language in his daily life, and as one exasperated chess player bitingly quipped, "In any respect, He is ill-bred in every way.” His father, a poor Yugoslav boatman on the Danube, was killed one night when his boat was capsized by a grain ship.Out of sympathy, the priest in the local remote village adopted the twelve-year-old child.The good priest tried to give him tutoring to make up for what the quiet, dull, broad-headed boy had failed to learn at the village school.

But all the priest's efforts were in vain.Czentovic stared at the words that had been told to him a hundred times and still did not understand; even the simplest things in class were beyond his dull head.He is already fourteen years old, and he still has to rely on his fingers to count. Reading and reading newspapers are particularly strenuous tasks for this half-grown boy.But that's not to say Czentovic was unhappy or grumpy.Whatever he was asked to do, he obediently did it, fetching water, chopping firewood, working in the fields, cleaning the kitchen, whatever he was asked to do, he did everything seriously, even though he was irritatingly slow.But what offended the good priest most was the strange boy's indifference to everything.If you don't call him specifically, he won't do anything.He never asked questions, didn't play with the other kids, didn't give him special attention about what to do, and never looked for work himself.As soon as the housework was done, Czentovic sat in the room in a daze, his eyes empty and lifeless, like a sheep on the pasture who was blind to what happened around him and was indifferent.In the evening, the priest, smoking a long farm pipe, would play a game of chess with the captain of the patrol as usual.At this moment, the blond-haired boy always squatted aside silently, under his heavy eyelids, his eyes were staring at the checkered chessboard, as if he was drowsy and careless.

One winter night, two chess players were concentrating on their daily game, when a sleigh came quickly from the village road, the tinkling of bells was getting closer, and a farmer hurried into the house with his hat on. It was covered with white snow, he said, and his old mother was dying, and he begged the priest to come as soon as possible, so that she could be unctioned in time.The priest did not hesitate, and immediately followed him.The captain of the patrol hadn't finished the beer in his glass, and he lit another pipe, and was about to put on his heavy high-waisted boots to go home, when he suddenly noticed that Czentovic's eyes were fixed on him, motionless. The first game on the chessboard.

"Hey, do you want to finish the game?" the patrol captain joked.He was sure that this sleepy young man couldn't even move a chess piece.The boy looked up at him timidly, then nodded and sat down in the priest's seat.After only fourteen moves, the captain of the patrol lost, and he had to admit that his failure was not the result of an accidental pass.The outcome of the second game didn't change much either. "It really happened!" exclaimed the priest in amazement when he returned home. The captain of the patrol was not very familiar with the "Bible", so he didn't understand the meaning of this sentence.The priest explained to him that a similar miracle had happened two thousand years ago: an animal that could not speak suddenly spoke words of wisdom.Even though it was late, the priest couldn't resist playing a game of chess with his half-illiterate student, and Czentovic easily won him.He played tenaciously, slowly, and decisively, without even lifting his broad head, bent over the board.His chess was so steady and impeccable that neither the captain of the patrol nor the priest could beat him in a game for several days.The child adopted by the priest was otherwise extremely low in intelligence, of which he knew and judged better than anyone else.Now he really wanted to know how far this one-sided and strange talent would stand up to a more severe test.He sent Czentovic to the country barber to have his shaggy blond hair trimmed so that he would look a little angry, and took him on a sleigh to the neighboring town.He knew that there was often a group of addicted chess players gathered in a corner of the coffee shop on the town square, and based on experience, he knew that he was no match for this group of people.This fifteen-year-old boy with blond hair and flushed cheeks is wearing a sheepskin jacket with fur turned inside out and heavy high-waisted leather boots.When the priest pushed him into the cafe, the chess players present were very surprised.After entering the cafe, the boy stood in a corner with his eyes lowered timidly, in surprise. He didn't move until he was asked to go to a chess table.Czentovic lost the first set because he had never seen the so-called Sicilian opening in the good priest's house.In the second game he had already drawn a draw with the best chess player in town.From the third and fourth sets, he killed all his opponents one by one.

Exciting events seldom happen in small towns in the outer provinces of Yugoslavia, so the debut of the peasant champion was an immediate sensation to the gentlemen assembled there.It was unanimously decided that at any rate the prodigy should stay in town until tomorrow, in order to gather the rest of the chess club, and especially to go to the castle to inform the enthusiastic chess fan, Simcitz old earl.The priest looked at the child he had brought up with a new pride, but while he was overjoyed by his own vision, he did not want to delay his duty, which was his duty, and agreed to send Czentovic Stay for further testing.So young Czentovic stayed in a hotel at the expense of his chess friends, and that night he saw a flush toilet for the first time.The next day was Sunday, and the afternoon chess room was packed.Czentovic sat motionless at the chessboard for four hours, without saying a word, without even raising his eyes, and defeated all the players one after another.Finally, someone suggested the next round of wheel battle.After everyone explained for a while, this young man who was not clear-headed understood that the so-called wheel battle means that he is playing against several chess players at the same time.As soon as Czentovic figured out the move, he got into shape and dragged his heavy squeaking boots from table to table, winning seven out of eight games. .

Afterwards, there was extensive discussion.While the new champion isn't technically a resident of the city, local regional pride is on fire.In this way, the hitherto largely unnoticed town on the map might, for the first time, be honored with sending a celebrity to the world.A manager named Kohler usually introduced female singers and singers to perform in the garrison song and dance theater. At this time, he also said that he knew an outstanding little chess master in Vienna. He was going to arrange for this young man there to receive special training in chess skills.Count Simcitz has played chess every day for sixty years, and has never encountered such a strange opponent. Dang even pledged the money.From this day on, the boatman's son was proud of the spring breeze, and the blue sky went straight up, which surprised the world.

Six months later, Czentovic had mastered all the mysteries of chess skills.However, he also had a strange weakness, which made him show his feet many times before the connoisseurs, and was ridiculed by them.Because Czentovic has never been able to play chess from memory, in jargon, blindfolded chess, not even in the next game.He completely lacks that ability to place the chessboard in infinite imaginary space.He always had a chessboard with sixty-four black and white squares and thirty-two tangible pieces in front of him; when he was enjoying world fame, he also carried a pocket chessboard with a foldable board. , when he wants to replay a famous chess game or solve a certain problem, he can directly see the position of the chess pieces in detail.This flaw is insignificant in itself, but it betrays a lack of imagination, just as a great performer or conductor in the music world cannot play or conduct without opening the score.But this odd shortcoming hasn't detracted from Czentovic's astonishing rise to prominence.He won more than ten chess awards at the age of seventeen, won the Hungarian chess championship at the age of eighteen, and finally won the world chess championship at the age of twenty.Those champions with the fiercest chess style were all far superior to him in terms of intelligence, imagination and courage, but they were defeated by his tenacious and cold logic one by one, just like Napoleon was defeated by slow Kutuzov's subordinates, Hannibal was defeated by Fabian Conquerador, according to Li Wei's account, Conquerador also showed the obvious characteristics of indifference and low energy when he was a child.Thus, for the first time in the gallery of great chess masters comes a man who has nothing to do with the spiritual world.You know, the ranks of chess masters in the sketches are filled with all kinds of people with extraordinary intellects—philosophers, mathematicians, and people with precise calculations, imaginative and often creative people—but Czentovi Qi, however, is just a young man from the countryside. He is unresponsive and reticent. Even the most savvy reporter can't get a newsworthy sentence out of him.Of course, Czentovic never supplied the newspapers with pithy aphorisms, which were soon made up for by the abundance of anecdotes about him.At the chess table, Czentovic was an unrivaled master, but from the moment he stepped off the board and stood up, he was a grotesque, almost comical figure, and beyond redemption.In spite of his stately black suit and rich tie with a rather ostentatious pearl brooch, and despite his manicured nails, his whole demeanor was that of the simple-minded villager A country boy who cleans the priest's room.He is extremely vulgar, stingy, greedy, trying to use his talent and reputation to get all the money he can get, which is clumsy and shameless, which makes his chess colleagues think he is both funny and angry.He went from city to city, always lodging in the cheapest hotel; he played chess in the poorest clubs, provided he was promised a reward; he agreed to have his likeness printed in soap advertisements, and even Regardless of the ridicule of his competitors - they knew that he was an idiot who couldn't even write three sentences - sold his name to a book called "The Philosophy of Chess", in fact for the The profit-seeking publisher wrote the book, a student at the University of Galicia, a nobody.Like all tough men, he didn't know the joke at all, and since he won the world game he thought he was the most important person in the world, and he felt that all those brilliant, brilliant, brilliant The fact that many orators and writers had been beaten by him in their respective fields, especially because he earned more money than they did, turned his indecision into a ruthless, often It is the arrogance that is deliberately revealed clumsily.

"However, how can this kind of success not please the empty head?" said my friend.He also told me ridiculous examples of Czentovic's domineering and supercilious behavior. "A twenty-one-year-old country bumpkin from Banat, who suddenly plays with a few pieces on a wooden chessboard, earns in a week more money than his whole village earns in a year's worth of lumbering and heavy labor. How can he not be complacent and complacent if he has a lot of money? Also, if a person does not know that there were Rembrandt, Beethoven, Dante and Napoleon in this world, it is not easy to look at himself Greatness? The only thing in the lad's ignorant head was that he had never lost a game of chess in months, and that was because he didn't know that there were other things in the world besides chess and money. Something of value, so he has every reason to indulge in the feeling of ecstasy."

These circumstances, which my friend related, greatly aroused my special curiosity.All my life, I am most interested in people who suffer from all kinds of paranoia, people who have a clear mind, because the more limited a person's knowledge, the closer he is to infinity.It is those people who seem to be indifferent to the world on the surface, using their special materials like ants to build a strange and unique miniature world.So I made no secret of my intentions: to scrutinize this strange specimen of intellectual monorails during a twelve-day voyage to Rio de Janeiro.However, my friend reminded me: "I'm afraid your luck will not be so good. As far as I know, no one has ever been able to obtain from Czentovic any material that can be used for psychoanalysis. Although this cunning country bumpkin Very poor in knowledge, but very clever, never revealing his weakness, in fact, his method is very simple, that is, he does not talk to anyone except a few fellow countrymen who are in a similar situation to him, and he finds a few small inns. Talking. He climbed into his snail shell as soon as he felt the presence of an educated person, so that no one could boast of having heard a stupid remark from him, or grasped the extent of his lack of education. degree."

Indeed, my friend was right.The first few days of the trip had shown that it was impossible to get close to Czentovic without a hard-nosed pestering.Of course, I can't do such a shameless thing.Sometimes he would go up to the upper deck, but every time he always had his hands behind his back, defiant and lost in thought, just like Napoleon in that famous painting.Besides, it's a nice walk on deck, but he's always in a hurry, and you have to jog after him if you want to talk to him.He never showed up in the lounge, bar or smoking room. I whispered to the waiter and learned that he spent most of the day in his cabin, studying chess games or playing chess on a large chessboard. Take a swing again. His defensive skills were more subtle than my willingness to approach him, and after three days I really started to get angry.I have never in my life had the opportunity to befriend a chess grandmaster, and the more I try to humanize this type of person, the more inconceivable it is that the human brain can be completely centered around a man with six characters all his life. The space of fourteen black and white squares turns!I know from my own personal experience that this mysterious charm is the only one among all games that man has conceived that has absolutely no room for chance arbitrariness, and whose laurels only bestow wisdom, or rather Said, only given to certain special forms of talent.Wouldn't calling chess a game, then, commit the insulting sin of limitation?Is it not also a science, an art, floating between the two, as Mohammed's coffin floats between heaven and earth?Isn't it an incomparable combination of pairs of contradictions?It is old, but always new; it is mechanical in its arrangement, but it can only be perfected by the imagination; it is confined in a geometrically rigid space, but infinite in its combinations. it is ever-evolving, but uncreative; it is thought without result, mathematics without calculation, art without work, architecture without substance, although those, in Its existence, however, proves to outlast all books and works of art; it belongs to every people and age, and no one knows what god brought this game down to earth to amuse, to sharpen, to inspire. spiritual.Where does it begin and where does it end?Every child can learn its elementary rules, and every crate can try its hand, but within this small, fixed cube, there will be a special kind of master, compared with them, all Everyone else is far behind.They are only gifted at chess, they are special geniuses, in whom imagination, patience, and skill are allotted with precision and work together, as in mathematicians, poets, and musicians, except The levels and combinations are different.Back in the days of physiognomy, if only Gal had dissected the brains of chess masters, so that he could determine whether the gray matter of these chess geniuses had a special kind of curved pattern, whether there was a kind of abnormality in their brains. More developed chess muscles or chess protrusions.In a chess player like Czentovic, a special gift is scattered among the absolutely dull intellect, like a vein of gold in a hundred kilograms of mineral-free rock!If only examples like his would excite the physiognomists.Generally speaking, I have always been well aware that such a unique game of genius must produce special chess masters, but it is difficult, if not impossible, to imagine that a man with an active mind could spend his entire life devoting himself to The world in the world is limited to the narrow one-way track between the black and white squares, and the joy of success is only found in the movement of the thirty-two chess pieces back and forth. An inconspicuous place in the chess records mentions that one stroke means immortality—in a word, a person, a person who can think, ten years, twenty years, thirty years, forty years as one day, puts his thoughts All the tension was ridiculously used time and time again to force the wooden "king" into a corner on the wooden chessboard, and I didn't go crazy! Now, for the first time, such a wonderful man, such a strange genius, or such an enigmatic fool, was so near to me, in the same boat, only six cabins apart, but I was unlucky, though I Most curious about spiritual things, and this curiosity often turns into a passion, I have not been able to approach him in spite of this.Then I conceived of some most absurd schemes: I stimulated his vanity by pretending to interview him for an important newspaper; the match of.Finally, I thought of a very effective way of hunters: to attract pheasants, imitate the call of pheasants when mating.So is there a more effective way to attract the chess master's attention to himself than to play chess by himself? I've never been a serious chess artist in my life for the simple reason that I've never taken chess seriously, just for fun, and if I sit down and play for an hour, it's terrible. It's not for worrying your mind, on the contrary, it's for relaxing your tense mind.I play chess in the true sense of the word, while others, those real chess players, do it for "competition".Playing chess is like falling in love, you must have an opponent, and at this moment I don't know if there are other chess lovers on board besides us.In order to lure them out of the hole, I set a simple trap in the smoking room: I played chess with my wife, even though her chess smelled worse than mine.In this way we are like bird-catchers who set aside the net and wait for the birds to come and throw their nets.Sure enough, less than six rounds after we had gone, someone stopped while passing by, and another asked us to allow him to watch the battle. Finally, an opponent we were looking forward to came, and he called me to fight, asking for help. Play a game of chess with me.His name was McConnell, and he was a Scottish deep well engineer, and I heard he made a fortune drilling for oil in California.In appearance, McConaughey was a stocky build, with strong, square cheeks, strong teeth, and a fine, ruddy complexion, probably, at least in part, from too much whiskey.What caught the eye was his broad shoulders, which had a sort of athletic air to it, but unfortunately showed their sharpness in chess, too, for this Mr. McConaughey was one of those smug, self-important types who, even if It was an insignificant game of chess, and if he lost, he also felt that his personality had been belittled.This self-made, big, rich man is used to going his own way in life, feeling proud of his own success, and has a stubborn sense of superiority in his bones, so he regards any resistance as an extremely rude resistance to him, almost It's like an insult to him.After losing the first game, he became sullen and babbled, saying unreasonably that the game was only lost by negligence. After losing the third game, he attributed the reason to the cabin next door. The sound was too loud, and every time he lost a game of chess, he would never let it go, and would immediately ask for another game.At first I thought this obstinate vanity was amusing, then I figured that my intention was to attract the world champion to our table, so I only saw his vanity as an inevitable accompaniment to the fulfillment of my intentions Phenomenon. On the third day my plan worked, but it was only half the battle.Whether Czentovic was watching us play from the upper deck, or he just stopped by the smoking room now and then—in any case, when he saw us laymen practicing his art, he subconsciously took a step closer. , cast a scrutinizing glance at our chessboard from this appropriate distance.It was time for McConaughey to make a move, and this move was enough for Czentovic to understand that for a master like him, the level of our amateur chess players is not worth continuing to watch.Just like when we were in a bookstore and someone recommended a bad detective novel to us, we put the book aside with a self-evident expression without even looking at it, and now he is walking from our chess table with the same expression. Go away, out of the smoking room. "He weighed it up and found it boring," I thought, a little annoyed at his cold, contemptuous look.To vent my annoyance, I said to McConaughey, "You don't seem to like a chess master very much." "Which master?" I explained to him that the gentleman who just walked past us and looked at our game with contempt was the chess master Czentovic.I also added a sentence, saying, let him go, the two of us recognize each other, the contempt of celebrities will not make us sad, the poor only have this ability.To my surprise, however, my casual remarks had an entirely unexpected effect on Mr. McConaughey. He immediately became excited, forgot about our game, and his vanity was so excited that he could almost Hear the beating of the heart.He said he had no idea that Czentovic was on board, and that Czentovic would have to play chess with him anyway.He had never played chess with a world champion in his life, except once when he played a round of chess against the world champion with forty other people.Even that game was tense enough, and he almost won it then.He asked me if I knew the chess champion, and I said no.He asked me again if I wanted to go and say hi to him and invite him to our place?I said no, because, as far as I knew, Czentovic wasn't too keen on making new acquaintances.Besides, for a world champion, what is the appeal of playing chess with third-rate chess players like us? Hey, I shouldn't say anything about a third-rate chess player to a guy as vain as McConaughey.Leaning back angrily, he said abruptly that, as far as he was concerned, he did not believe that Czentovic would refuse a polite offer from a gentleman.At his request, I gave him a brief description of the world champion.After hearing this, he dismissed our game of chess nonchalantly, and hurried to the upper deck to look for Czentovic.Once again, I felt that once this broad-shouldered man wanted to do something, no one could stop him. I waited rather nervously.Ten minutes later, Mr. McConaughey returned, and I thought he was less cheerful. "How?" I asked. "You're right," he replied, somewhat angrily, "he's not a very pleasant gentleman. I introduced myself and told him who I was. He didn't even offer me his hand. I tried to make him understand , if he fights with us, all the people on board will be proud and honored. Damn, he just won't agree. He said it's a pity that he signed a contract with his agent. The contract specifically stipulates that throughout the During this tour he is not allowed to play without pay, and his minimum pay is two hundred and fifty dollars a game." I laughed. "It never occurred to me that moving a few chess pieces on the black and white squares would be such a lucrative business. Then, I think, you should politely leave." However, McConaughey said still very seriously: "The game is set for three o'clock tomorrow afternoon, in this smoking room. I hope that he will not kill us without effort." "What? You agreed to give him two hundred and fifty dollars?" I exclaimed in surprise. "Why not? If I had a toothache, and there happened to be a dentist on board, I wouldn't ask him to pull it out for nothing. He's asking a lot, and rightly so. So are the real experts in every trade." Businessman. As far as I'm concerned, the clearer the deal, the better. I'd rather pay cash than ask Mr. Czentovic to show me mercy, and I'll have to thank him in the end. Besides, I'm at the ship's club I lost more than two hundred and fifty dollars in one night, and that was not against the world champion. For a 'third-rate chess player', losing to Czentovic is not a shame." I noticed that my innocent remark about "a third-rate chess player" hurt McConaughey's self-esteem deeply, and I was really amused.But since he was going to pay dearly for the joke, I can hardly censure him for his excessive vanity, which will at last introduce me to the strange man.We hastened to inform the four or five gentlemen who had hitherto claimed to be chess players of the impending event, and got people ready for the upcoming match, not only to send us This table, and all the tables next to it must be pre-booked. The next day, all our people arrived at the appointed time.The middle seat, facing the chess master, was of course reserved for McConaughey.He smoked one strong cigar after another to ease the tension in his heart, and looked anxiously at his watch again and again.The world champion kept everyone waiting for him for ten minutes - I had a hunch he was going to do it, based on the stories my friend told - so he came out with an air of certainty .He walked to the chess table calmly and calmly.He also didn't introduce himself, and he talked about the specific arrangements in a dull professional tone. His unreasonable behavior seemed to say: "You all know who I am, and I am not interested in who you are." "Because there are not so many chessboards on the ship, it is impossible to play the game, so he suggested that we all fight him alone.He said that in order not to disturb our discussion, every time he made a move, he would go to another table at the end of the room.Unfortunately, there is no small bell, so every time we take a step, we have to tap the cup with the spoon immediately.He suggested, if we had no objection, a maximum of ten minutes per move.Like shy schoolchildren, of course we agreed with each of his suggestions, and when it came to color, Czentovic chose black.He took the first step while still standing, then immediately turned and walked to the position he suggested to wait.He lazily leaned back on the chair, picked up the pictorial and flipped through it. It doesn't make much sense to talk about the game itself.It goes without saying that it ended in a logical way: it ended in our total defeat, and it was lost on the twenty-fourth round.It is not surprising that a world champion can sweep five or six middle- and low-level chess players without breaking a sweat.The only thing that bothered us was the way Czentovic behaved in a way that made it clear to all of us that he had won us so easily.Each time he seemed to just glance over at the chessboard, lolling past us as if we were all wooden pieces.This unreasonable gesture reminded one of someone throwing a bone at a mangy dog ​​without looking at it.In fact, it seemed to me that if he had been a little more reasonable, he could have pointed out our mistakes, or given us some kind words of encouragement.But after this game of chess, this inhuman chess robot didn't even say a word of encouragement. After saying "checkmate", he stood motionless in front of the table and waited to see if we still wanted to play with him. Another plate.As one would deal with an impudent brut, I stood up and threw up my hands in resignation, indicating that with the dollar deal over, our pleasant acquaintance, at least as far as I was concerned, came to an end.To my annoyance, McConaughey next to me said hoarsely: "One more set!" McConaughey's provocative words literally took me by surprise, and in fact he came across at the moment as a boxer about to punch rather than a suave gentleman.Maybe it was a tribute to Czentovic's unbearable attitude towards us, or maybe it was just his morbid vanity that jumped up at the touch of a touch-anyway, McConaughey's character was completely different. changed.His face was flushed down to the roots of his forehead, and his nostrils were bulging with anger.Evidently, he was sweating, and he bit his lip so deeply that deep wrinkles ran from the corners of his mouth to his male-jutting chin.I found in his eyes the flames of irrepressible passion, and I felt uneasy.This kind of flame is usually only seen by the roulette gambler if he has doubled his bet and missed his color six or seven times in a row.I know now that this fanatical vanity will keep him playing Czentovic on and on, at or doubling the original bet, until he wins at least one game, even if it costs him all his money. No hesitation.If Czentovic had stuck with it, he would have found a gold mine in McConaughey from which he could scoop up thousands of dollars before reaching Buenos Aires. Czentovic remained motionless. "Please," I said politely, "it's up to you, gentlemen, to be black." There was no change in the second round, but several curious people came, so our circle not only expanded, but also became more active.McConaughey stared fixedly at the board, as if he were going to hypnotize the pieces with the desire to win.我感觉到，为了向对手这个冷血动物扯着嗓门欢叫一声“将死了”，即使牺牲一千美元，他也会兴高采烈的。奇怪的是，他那强忍的激动不知不觉中也感染了我们。现在，每走一步都要进行比第一局更为热烈的讨论，每次直到最后一刻，在大家都同意给信号叫岑托维奇过来的时候，总还会有人对大家的意见提出异议。渐渐的，我们走到第十七步了。这时出现了极为有利的局势，对此我们自己都感到惊奇，因为我们成功地把C线上的卒一直推进到倒数第二格的C2，只要将卒往前推进到C1，我们的座就可以升变为一个新后了。由于这个胜机过于一目了然，我们心里反倒不很踏实，我们大家都心存疑虑，担心这个表面上看来是我们取得的优势极可能正是岑托维奇故意给我们设下的圈套，因为他对棋局看得比我们远得多。但是无论我们大家怎么煞费苦心地探索和讨论，还是找不到这个暗藏的花招。最后，允许我们考虑的时间快完了，我们决定就冒险走这一着。麦克康纳的手指都碰到了卒，想把它推到最后一个方格里。这时他感觉到胳膊猛的一下被紧紧抓住，有人轻声而激动地对他耳语：“上帝保佑！不能走这着！” 我们大家都情不自禁地转过脸去。一位大约四十五岁的先生，瘦削的脸上轮廓分明，脸色像石灰一样，白得出奇，先前在甲板上散步时他就引起过我的注意。几分钟前我们的全部注意力都集中在解决这步难棋上，他大概就是这时来到我们这儿的。他感觉到我们的目光都在注视着他，便匆匆补充道：“您现在如果把卒子升变为后，他马上就会用象C1来吃掉它，您再回马吃掉象。但是，这期间他把他的通路卒走到D7，威胁你们的车，你们即使跳马将军，也没有用，再走九到十步棋你们就输了。这同1922年皮斯吉仁大赛上阿廖欣与波戈留波夫交手时下的棋局几乎完全一样。” 麦克康纳大为诧异，其惊奇的程度绝不亚于我们。他放下手里的棋子，两眼紧紧盯着这位不速之客，这位像是从天而降、来助我们一臂之力的天使。一个能够预先计算出九步之后会有杀着的人，准是一流专家，说不定也是去参加这次国际象棋大赛的，没准还是冠军争夺者呢。他恰好在关键时刻突然到来并且伸出援助之手，这简直是异乎寻常的事。麦克康纳第一个回过神来。 “您有什么主意呢？”他激动地悄悄问道。 “卒子不要马上往前走，而是先避开！尤其是要先把王从G8这个危险位置撤到H7。这样，他或许就转而进攻另一翼去了。不过您可把车从C8退到C4来阻挡，这样，他就得多走两步，丢掉一个卒，也就失去了优势。这么一来，盘面上就成了卒对卒，如果您防守不出破绽，就可以下成和棋。更高的奢望是达不到了。” 我们再次惊诧不已，啧啧称奇。他计算得那么精确和快速，真有点邪乎，这些步子他仿佛是照棋谱念的。真是意想不到，我们与世界冠军对弈的这盘棋在他的参与下，居然有下和的机会，怎么说也神了。我们大家不约而同地往旁边挪了挪，好让他看到棋盘。麦克康纳又问了一次：“那么就把王从G8走到H7？” “对！最要紧的是先避开！” 麦克康纳照此走了一着，我们敲了玻璃杯。岑托维奇迈着惯常的漫不经心的步子走到我们桌边，朝我们这步对着打量一眼，接着就把王翼的卒H2进到H4，同我们这位素不相识的救星所预言的完全一样。这位陌生人这时激动地悄声说：“进车，进车，从C8进到C4，这样他就非得保卒不可。不过他这样走也无济于事！您马C3进D5，不用管他的通路卒，这样就重新建立了均势，随后就全力压过去，不用守了！” 我们不明白他所说的。对我们来说，他说的全是中文。不过一旦对他着了迷，麦克康纳也就不假思索地照他的意见行棋。我们又敲了玻璃杯，把岑托维奇叫了过来。这回他第一次没有迅速作出决定，而是紧张地注视着棋盘，随后他下的那着棋正是这位陌生人先前就向我们点明的。岑托维奇落子以后正转身要走，可是就在他尚未转身之前，发生了一件谁也没有意想到的新奇事。岑托维奇抬起眼睛，把我们每个人都打量一番，很显然，他是想找出那个一下子对他进行这么顽强抵抗的人来。 从这一瞬间起，我们心情之激动到了难以估量的程度。在此之前我们下棋的时候并没有抱多大的希望，现在我们都想杀杀岑托维奇的冷漠和傲慢。这个想法使我们大家热血沸腾，兴奋不已。但是，这时我们的新朋友已经对下一步棋作了安排，我们可以把岑托维奇叫来了。我拿起匙子敲玻璃杯的时候，手指都在发抖。现在我们第一个胜利已经到来了。岑托维奇此前一直是站着下棋的，现在他犹豫了好一阵，终于坐了下来。他坐下去的时候动作缓慢而迟钝，就这样，他与我们之间纯粹从身体上来说，他迄今为止的那种居高临下的架势没有了。我们迫使他至少在空间上同我们处于同一平面上。他考虑了很长时间，低垂的眼睛一动不动地紧盯棋盘，因此几乎连他黑眼睑下面的眼珠也看不到。在紧张的思考中，他的嘴慢慢地张开，这样就赋予他的圆脸以一种单纯的表情。岑托维奇考虑了几秒钟，然后走了一着棋，就站了起来。我们的朋友随即低声说道：“这步棋是拖延战术！想得倒好！但是不要上他的当！逼他兑子，非兑不可，这样便是和棋了，现在神仙也帮不了他的忙。” 麦克康纳完全照他的意思走棋。接下来的几步双方你来我往，我们对此更是莫名其妙，实际上我们其余的人早就沦为了摆摆样子的龙套。大约下了七个回合之后，岑托维奇经过长时间的思考，抬起头来说：“和了。” 一刹那室内鸦雀无声。我们突然听到海浪的喧啸，休息厅的收音机里传来爵士音乐，甲板上散步者的脚步声以及从窗缝里透进来的轻微的风声都听得清清楚楚。我们人人屏住呼吸，事情来得太突然，大家还没有回过神来，这位陌生人居然能将他的意志强加于世界冠军，把这盘已经输了一半的棋下和，这真使我们目瞪口呆。麦克康纳突然往后一靠，随着快乐的“啊！”的一声，他憋着的那口气咻的一下从嘴里吐了出来。我又对岑托维奇进行了观察。在下最后这几着棋的时候，我就觉得，他的脸色仿佛更加苍白了。但是他很善于控制自己，仍然保持着看起来满不在乎的木讷神情，一面用镇定的手归拾棋盘上的棋子，一面漫不经心地问道：“先生们还想下第三盘吗？” 这个问题他纯粹是就事论事地从纯商业的角度提的，但奇怪的是，他提问时并没有看麦克康纳，而是抬起眼睛直接紧紧地盯着我们的救星。他准是从最后几着棋上认出了他事实上的、真正的对手，就像一匹马能从骑者更加稳健的骑姿上认出一位新的、更好的骑手来一样。无意中我们也随着他的目光急切地望着这位陌生人。可是陌生人尚未来得及考虑或答复，正陶醉在虚荣之中、万分激动的麦克康纳就已经以胜利的姿态在冲着他喊了：“那当然！但是现在您得一个人跟他下！您一个人同岑托维奇对弈！” 然而，这时发生了一件未曾预料到的事情。很奇怪，这位陌生人还一直在紧张地盯着那张棋盘，而棋盘上的棋子已经收拾起来了。他感觉到所有人的眼睛都在注视他，而且人家又那么热情地在同他说话，不觉大为骇然，脸上现出十分慌张的神情。 “绝对不行，先生们，”他结结巴巴地说，显然有点惊惶失措，“这完全不可能……没有考虑的余地……我已经有二十年，不，是二十五年没有摸过棋盘了……我现在才看到，未得你们允许就参与你们的棋局，这样的举止是多么的不得体……请你们原谅我的冒失……我一定不再继续打搅了。”听了这话我们都很愕然，大家还没有回过神来，他已经转身离开了吸烟室。 “这根本不可能！”性格豪爽的麦克康纳用拳头捶着桌子吼道，“他说有二十五年没有下过棋了，绝对不可能！他每一着棋，每一步对着都预先算到五六步之外。这种本事绝非瞬息之间就可学会的。所以他说的绝无可能——是不是？” 最后这个问题麦克康纳是下意识地向岑托维奇提的，但是这位世界冠军不为所动，依然是冷冰冰的。 “对此我无法作出判断，但是不管怎么说，这位先生的棋下得有点奇怪，也很有意思，因此我也故意给了他一个机会。”说着，他便懒洋洋地站起身来，并以他讲究实际的方式补充道：“如果这位先生或者在坐的诸位先生明天想再下一局，那我从下午三点钟以后随意奉陪。” 我们都忍不住轻声笑了。我们每个人都知道，岑托维奇绝不是慷慨地让给我们这位不相识的援手一个机会，他的这种说法无非是掩饰自己没有下好的一个幼稚的遁词而已。因此我们心里滋长起更加强烈的愿望，要亲眼看着把他这种盛气凌人的态度打掉。我们这些心平气和、懒懒散散的乘客心里一下子生起一股疯狂的、充满虚荣心的战斗豪情，因为如果正巧在我们这艘航行在汪洋中的船上能摘下国际象棋世界冠军头上的桂冠，这个记录定会由电讯迅速传遍全世界。这个想法很具挑战性，令我们为之着迷。另外，那种神秘而蹊跷的事也颇有刺激性：恰好在关键时刻我们的救星出乎意料地来介入我们的棋局，他那几乎有点怯生生的谦虚同那位职业棋手那种趾高气扬的神气正好形成对照。这位陌生人是谁？难道通过这里的这次偶然巧遇我们竟找到了一位尚未被发现的国际象棋天才？或是出于某种尚不清楚的原因，一位著名的国际象棋大师对我们隐瞒了自己的名字？我们兴奋地讨论了所有这些可能性。我们认为，为了把这个陌生人谜一般的胆怯和出人意外的自述同他精妙绝伦的棋艺联系在一起，即使是最大胆的假设也不为过。不过有个问题我们大家的意见是一致的，那就是绝不放弃再杀一盘。我们决定，要不遗余力地促使我们的支援者第二天同岑托维奇对弈一盘，麦克康纳答应由他承担这次比赛经济上的风险。这期间我们从乘务员那里了解到，我们不认识的这位先生是奥地利人，而我是陌生人的同乡，所以大家就委托我把大家的请求转达给他。 不用很长时间，我就在甲板上找到了匆匆溜掉的那位先生。他正躺在躺椅上看书。我在朝他走去之前，先抓住这个机会将他端详一番。他轮廓分明的脑袋枕在枕头上显得稍稍有些疲劳，这张还比较年轻的脸显得出奇的苍白，这再次引起我的特别注意，两鬓的头发雪白，白得闪闪发亮。不知是什么原因，我有这么个印象，觉得这个人准是突然变老的。我刚走到他跟前，他就很有礼貌地站起身来，介绍自己的姓名。我听了马上就觉得熟悉，这是奥地利一家古老的名门望族的姓氏。我想起姓此姓的人中，有位是舒伯特的密友，有位御医也出身于这个家族。我向B博士转达我们的请求，希望他接受岑托维奇的挑战，他听了显然感到非常惊讶。这表明，他根本不知道刚才与之对弈的是位世界冠军，而且是目前战绩最好的世界冠军，而那盘棋他却光荣地将对手顶住了。由于某种原因，我说的这个情况似乎对他产生了特殊的印象，因为他一再反反复复地问，我是否真有把握，他的对手确实是公认的世界冠军。我马上就发现，这个情况使得我的任务完成起来容易得多了，至于万一棋输了，经济上的风险将由麦克康纳来承担这件事，由于考虑到B博士比较敏感，所以觉得还是不对他说为好。经过好一阵犹豫，B博士最终答应比赛一次，不过他特别请我提醒其他几位先生，千万不要对他的棋艺抱过分的希望。 “因为，”他脸上带着沉思的微笑补充说，“我真不知道，我能不能正确地按照各种规则来下棋。我从中学时代起，也就是说自二十多年以来我连棋子都没有再摸过，请相信我，这绝不是假谦虚。就是在那个时候，我下棋也没有特殊的才华。” 他这话说得极其自然，使我对他的真诚没有一点儿怀疑。可是他对各个大师的每盘具体的棋局又记得那么清楚，对此我又不得不表露出我的惊讶，我说，无论怎么说，他至少在理论上对国际象棋总是作过很多研究吧。B博士又露出那奇怪的梦幻般的笑容。 “作过很多研究！——天知道，倒可以这么说，我对国际象棋作过许多研究。但那是在非常特殊的、是在史无前例的情况下发生的。这是一个相当复杂的故事，充其量只能把它当作我们这个可爱的伟大时代的一个小插曲。要是您有半小时耐心的话……” 他指了指旁边的一把躺椅，我愉快地接受了他的邀请。我们周围没有其他人，B博士把看书时戴上的老花镜摘下放于一边，开始说： “承蒙您提到，您是维也纳人，还记得我们家的姓氏，不过我猜您准没听说过那个律师事务所。它起初是我父亲和我、后来是我单独主持的，因为我们不办理报上讨论的案件，我们的规矩是不接受新的当事人的委托。实际上我们已经不再从事正式的律师事务了。我们的业务只限于法律咨询，主要是受委托管理大修道院的财产，我父亲以前是天主教党的议员，所以同各大修道院关系很密切。此外，有些皇室成员的财产也委托我们管理。因为君主政体已经成了历史，所以这方面的情况我们今天可以谈了。我们家族同皇室以及天主教会的联系从上两代就开始了，我叔叔是皇帝的御医，另一位叔叔是塞滕施特滕修道院院长。我们只是保持了这些联系。这是一种静悄悄的、我想说是一种无声的活动，因为当事人对我们家族历来都很信任，所以我们依旧做着这份工作。这个工作只要求严格的保密和可靠，此外并没有更多的要求，而先父正是具有这两种品质的典范，由于他的谨慎，所以无论是在通货膨胀的年代还是政权变革时期，实际上他都为当事人成功地保存了可观的财富。后来德国希特勒上台，开始掠夺教会和修道院的财产，于是德国那边就同我们进行各种谈判和交易，以通过我们的手保住他们的动产免遭没收，关于罗马教廷和皇室进行的某种秘密政治谈判，我们两人知道的比外界知道的要多得多。正因为我们事务所并不惹人注目，门上连牌子都不挂，外加我们两人都很小心谨慎，有意避免同保皇派来往，所以我们很保险，没有人擅自对我们进行调查。事实上在那些年里奥地利当局从未料到，皇室的秘密信使交接最重要的信件一直都是在我们设在五层楼上的那个不起眼的事务所里进行的。 “纳粹分子早在扩充军备，妄图征服世界之前，就开始在其邻国组织一支同样危险的和训练有素的军队——由受歧视、受冷落和受损害的人组成的军团。他们在每个机关企业里都设立了所谓的'支部'，他们的坐探和间谍无处不在，包括在陶尔斐斯和的私人宅邸里。就是在我们这个很不起眼的事务所里也安插了他们的人，可惜我知道得太晚了。当然，此人只不过是个可怜而无能的办事员。他是一位神甫介绍来的，我雇用他的唯一目的，就是为了使我们事务所对外像是个正规机构的样子。实际上我们只用他办些无关紧要的差事，接接电话，整理整理文件，当然是那些无足轻重、不会引起怀疑的文件。他不能拆信件，所有的重要信件都是我亲手用打字机打的，不留副本；每份重要文件我都拿回家去；所有的秘密会谈全都挪到修道院院长办公室或我叔叔的诊室去进行。由于采取了这些预防措施，所有重大的事情这名坐探一件都未曾看到，但是由于发生了一件不幸的偶然事件，这居心叵测、追名逐利之徒一定发现我们不信任他，背着他做了种种很有意思的事。也许有次我们不在，信使没有按照约定称'贝恩男爵'，而是一不小心说了'陛下'这个词，要不就是这无赖非法拆看了信件——总之，在我怀疑他之前，他就从慕尼黑或柏林接受了监视我们的任务。一直到后来，我被捕入狱已经很久了，我才想起，开始的时候他工作马虎大意，而在最后几个月却忽然变得积极起来，而且好多次几乎死皮赖脸地主动要求将我的信件送往邮局。我不能说我没有某些疏忽大意之处，但是那些伟大的外交家和将军到头来不也是被希特勒那套伎俩狠狠地耍弄了吗？盖世太保早就将我牢牢地盯住了，下面这件事就是最具体的证明：就在舒施尼格宣布下野的那个晚上，也就是希特勒进入维也纳的前一天，我已经被党卫队逮捕了。幸好，我一听到舒施尼格的辞职演说，就把最最重要的文件全部烧毁了，余下的文件连同为证明几所修道院和两位大公爵存在国外的财产所不可缺少的凭据，我真是在冲锋队破门而入之前的最后一分钟将其统统塞在一只盛脏衣服的筐里，让我那年迈而可靠的女管家送到我叔叔那边去的。” B博士停下来点了一支烟，借着闪烁的火光，我发现他的右嘴角神经质地抽搐了一下，这我先前就已经注意到了，现在我观察到，每隔几分钟就要抽搐一次。这只是微微抽动一下，就像拂过一丝微风，但是它却使这张脸显出引人注意的心神不安的神情。 “您大概在猜想，现在我要给您讲关于集中营的事——所有忠于我们古老的奥地利的人都被押解来关在那里，讲我在集中营里受到的侮辱、拷打和刑讯了吧。这样的事情并没有发生。我被列入另外一类。我没有被驱赶到那些不幸的人那儿去，纳粹分子对他们施行肉体和精神折磨，把长期积聚起来的仇恨一股脑儿都发泄在他们身上。我被归入另外一类人之中，这类人数量不多，纳粹分子想从他们身上逼取金钱或者重要情报。本来，盖世太保对我这个本不值一提的小人物当然毫无兴趣，但他们一定已经获悉，我们曾经是他们最顽强的敌人的财产代理人、经管人和亲信，他们指望从我身上榨取可以构成罪证的材料，既可用来反对修道院，证明它们非法牟利，也可用来反对皇室以及所有那些在奥地利不惜流血牺牲为维护君主王朝而竭尽全力的人。他们猜想——真的，这倒并非空穴来风——我们经手转移出去的那些资金，绝大部分还藏着，他们想夺过去，可又无从下手，所以他们当天就把我抓了去，想用他们那套行之有效的方法迫使我供出这些秘密。他们想要在我这类人身上榨取金钱或者重要材料，所以没有把我们送进集中营，而是给我们以特殊待遇。您也许还记得，我们的以及——纳粹分子指望从他的亲属那里敲诈数百万——都没有被投进铁丝网围着的战俘营，而是表面上给予优待，被送进大都会饭店——同时也是盖世太保的总部——每人住一单间。我这个不起眼的小人物居然也得到了这种奖励。 “在饭店里住单间——这话本身听起来就极其人道，不是吗？可是请您相信我，他们没有把我们这些'知名人士'塞进二十个人挤在一起的冰冷的木棚里，而是让我们住在供暖还不错的饭店单间里，这绝不是他们给予我们的一种更人道的待遇，而是挖空心思想出来的更加狡猾的方法。他们想从我们嘴里逼出他们所需要的'材料'，采用的不是毒打或者用刑，而是以杀人不见血的方式，采用最最狡猾歹毒的隔离手段。他们并没有对我们怎么样，只是将我们置于完全的虚空里。大家都知道，像虚空那样对人的心灵所产生的那种压力是世界上任何东西都办不到的。他们把我们每个人分别关在一个完完全全的真空里，关进一间同外界绝对隔绝的房间里，不用拷打等方式从外部给我们压力，而是让我们从内心产生一种压力，最终砸开我们的两片嘴唇。乍一看，安排给我的房间绝对不能说不舒服。这房间有一扇门，一张床，一把沙发椅，一个洗脸盆，一扇上了栅栏的窗户。可是这扇门白天黑夜都是锁着的，桌上不许放纸和铅笔，窗户外面是一道防火墙，在我周围，甚至在我自己身上都是空无所有。我的每样东西都被搜走了。搜走手表，让我不知道时间；搜走铅笔，我就无法写东西；搜走小刀，使我无法割断动脉血管；就连抽支烟稍微提提神也不允许。除了不许说话、不许回答问题的看守，我看不见一张人的脸，听不到一点人的声音；从早晨到夜晚，从夜晚到早晨，眼睛、耳朵以及所有其他感官都得不到一丝养料，你成天寂寂一身，茕茕孑立，守着桌子、床、窗户、洗脸盆等四五件不会说话的东西，一筹莫展；你就像玻璃罩里的潜水员，身处寂静无声的黑黢黢的海洋里，甚至感觉到通向外部世界的绳索已经扯断，您永远不会被人从这无声的深底拉回到水面上去了。整天没什么事可做，没什么东西可听，没什么东西可看，你的周围到处是一片虚空，一片绵延不断的完全没有空间和时间的虚空。你走来走去，走去走来，来来回回，循环往复。但是，即使是看似毫无实体形迹的思想也需要一个支撑点啊，否则它就要开始旋转，就要毫无意义地围着自己转圈，思想也受不了虚空。你从早到晚期待着什么，可是什么也没有发生。你等啊，等啊，等啊，你想啊，想啊，想啊，直到太阳穴发痛，什么也没有发生。你仍是孤独一人，孤独一人，孤独一人。 “这样延续了十四天，我在时间之外，世界之外生活的十四天。要是当时爆发了战争，我也不会知道，我的世界就只有桌子、门、床、洗脸盆、沙发椅、窗户和墙这几样东西，我整天凝视着同一面墙上的同一张壁纸，久而久之，壁纸上锯齿形图案的每根线条都好似用刻刀刻进我大脑深处的褶皱里去了。后来，审讯终于开始了。突然来传我了，也弄不清那是白天还是夜里。他们喊了我的名字，押着我穿过几条走廊，也不知道要带我到哪里去。后来，在一个什么地方等着，也不知道那是什么地方，突然，又站在了一张桌子前面，桌旁坐着几个穿制服的人，桌上堆着一叠纸：那是档案，不知道里面是些什么材料。接着就开始提问，这些问题真真假假，有的单刀直入，有的阴险奸诈，有的声东击西，有的设置圈套。你回答问题的时候，陌生而恶毒的手指在翻材料，您不知道里面有些什么东西，陌生而恶毒的手指在审讯记录上写些什么，你不知道写的是什么。可是，对我来说，这次审讯中最可怕的是，我始终猜不出，也估计不到，盖世太保对我们事务所的事情确实已经知道了哪些，哪些他们想从我口里获取。我已经对您说过，在最后一刻让女管家把那些可以构成罪证的文件送到我叔叔那里去了。可是，他收到这些文件了吗？他没有收到吗？那个坐探办事员泄露了多少信息？他们截获了多少信件？这期间在我们代理的那些德国修道院也许已经敲开了某个糊涂神甫的嘴，那么到底逼出了多少秘密？他们问呀，问呀，没完没了地问。我给修道院买过哪些有价证券，同哪些银行有通信往来？我认不认识一位某某先生？我收到过瑞士或者某某地方的信件没有？我一点也估计不出，他们到底查到了多少问题，所以我的每个回答意义都非常重大。要是我承认了他们尚未掌握的某件事，我也许就会无谓地使某人罹难；我要是什么都不承认，那就自己害了自己。 “不过，审讯还不是最可怕的。最可怕的是审讯以后回到我那虚空之中，回到那个有着同一张桌子、同一张床、同一个洗脸盆和同样的壁纸的同样的房间里。因为只要我单独一人的时候，我就要重新琢磨审讯的情况，思考怎么回答才最聪明，下次提审也许会因我说话不小心而引起他们的怀疑，如果这样，我该怎么说才能弥补。我仔细思量，反复琢磨，认真检查我向预审官说的每一句证词，把他们提出的每个问题和回答的每一句话都简要重复一遍，想估量一下我说的话有哪些可能被记录在案。不过我知道，我永远也估计不出来，也不会知道。但是这些思想一旦在这虚无的空间里发动起来，就不停地在脑袋里转动，翻来覆去，循环往复，还不断地想出一些新的事情来，而且睡着了脑袋里还在转。每次审讯之后，我脑子里还在经历着那些提问，深究和折磨的煎熬，或许甚至比审讯时的折磨更为残忍，因为每次审讯一个小时就结束了，而审讯之后由于寂寞的无情折磨，脑袋所受的煎熬却是没有完结的时候。我的四周总是只有桌子、柜子、床、壁纸、窗户，没有任何分散我注意力的东西，没有书，没有报纸，没有陌生的面孔，没有可以记点东西的铅笔，没有可以用来玩的火柴，没有，没有，什么都没有。现在我才发觉，把人单独囚禁在饭店的房间里这一套做法用心何其险恶，对人精神上的摧残又何其厉害。要是在集中营里，也许得用小车推石头，推得两只手磨出血来，两只脚冻僵在鞋里，可能得二三十人挤在一个又臭又冷的小屋里。可是你能看到人的脸，可以将目光投向一片田地，一辆手推车，一棵树，一颗星星，以及别的什么东西，而这时呢，你周围都是同样的东西，始终都是这些东西，从来不会改变，真是可怕。这里没有什么东西可以使我分心，使我从自己的思想、从自己的胡思乱想、从自己病态地将审讯时的提问和自己的回答不断复述中解脱出来。而这一点恰恰正是他们打的如意算盘——他们要憋死你，要让你自己的思想来憋你，直到憋得你喘不过气来，你别无他法，最后只好向他们吐露真相，将他们想要的一切招供出来，终归把材料和人统统抛了出来。我渐渐感觉到，在这虚空的令人毛骨悚然的压力下，我的神经开始松弛了，我意识到这种危险，便把神经绷得紧紧的，我想，即使把每根神经都绷断，也要找到或者想出点事情来分散自己的注意力。为了使自己有点事做，我就试着把以前会背的东西，如民歌、儿歌、中学课本里的幽默故事、民法条款等，一一朗诵出来，并再复述一遍。后来我又试着演算，随便拿些数字来相加、相除，可是在虚空中我的记忆缺少附着力，没有能使我的思想集中在上面的东西。脑袋里老是出现和闪烁着这个想法：他们知道什么？我昨天说了些什么，下次又该说些什么？ “这种真是难以描述的状况延续了四个月。四个月，写起来容易，才不过两个字！说起来也容易：四个月，一共才四个音节。嘴唇动一下就把这几个音发出来了：四个月！但是谁也无法描述、测定，谁也无法用直观例子向别人、也无法向自己说明，在没有空间、没有时间的情况下时间有多长，无法向别人讲清楚，这虚空，虚空，你周围的虚空是如何蛀食和摧毁你的心灵的，整日所见的就只有桌子、床、洗脸盆和壁纸，屋里成天都是沉默，成天是同一个看守，他看都不看你一眼就把饭塞了进来，时时刻刻是同样的思想在虚空中围着你转啊转，直弄得你神经错乱、疯疯癫癫为止。我心里惴惴不安，从一些细小的征兆中我发觉自己的脑子混乱了。起先，在审讯的时候心里是清楚的，陈述冷静沉着，深思熟虑，哪些该说，哪些不该说，这种双重思维还在起作用。现在我连说最简单的句子都是结结巴巴的，因为我在作法庭陈述时，眼睛总像是着了魔似的愣愣地盯着那支往纸上做着记录的笔，仿佛我想追上自己说的话似的。我感觉到，我的力气越来越不济了，我感觉到，为了救我自己，我将会把自己所知道的一切，也许还有更多的东西全部交代出来，为了摆脱虚空的窒息，我将会说出去十二个人，供出他们的秘密，而我自己呢，除了片刻休息之外，什么好处也得不着，我感觉到这样的一刻越来越近了。一天晚上确已走到了这一步：在我快要憋死的当间，看守恰好给我送饭来，于是我就突然朝他背后喊：'您带我去审讯！我什么都交代！什么都交代！我要交代文件在哪儿，钱在哪儿！我统统都交代，彻底交代！'幸好他没有听到更多的东西，或许他也不想听我说。 “在这极其艰难的时刻，发生了一件意想不到的事。这件事把我救了，至少在一段时间里把我救了。那是七月底一个乌云密布的阴沉沉的雨天，我所以还清楚地记得这个细节，那是因为我被押去审讯、穿过走廊时，雨水正噼噼啪啪地打在玻璃窗上。我得在预审的候审室里等着。每次去受审都得等，让你等，这也是一种手法。首先，通过叫喊，通过深夜里突然把你从囚室里提溜去受审，让你的神经高度紧张起来，然后，等你作好审讯准备，思想和意志都振作起来准备反击时，他们又让你等着，毫无意义地、无缘无故地等着，一小时，两小时，三小时地等着，等得你身心交瘁。在星期四，7月27日，这一天他们让我等得特别长，让我在候审室站着等了两个小时，这个日期我之所以还记得，那是有个特别原因的。在候审室里当然不许我坐，我在那里站了两个小时，腿都要站断了。候审室里挂了一本月历，我无法向您解释，在当时如饥似渴地向往着印刷的和