Irena came out of her lover's house and went downstairs, and an inexplicable fear suddenly seized her heart again.There seemed to be a black top spinning and buzzing suddenly in front of her eyes, and her knees were frozen hard. She hurriedly grabbed the handrail of the stairs so as not to fall suddenly.It is not the first time that she has the courage to have such a high-risk tryst. For her, this kind of sudden chill is no stranger. Although she resists every time she goes home, every time this kind of She was defeated when absurd fears flared up for no reason.On the way to the tryst, it will undoubtedly be much more relaxed and pleasant.At that time, she asked the taxi to stop at the corner of the street, and hurried forward without raising her head. After a few steps, she arrived at the door of the building, and then quickly stepped up the stairs. She knew that he was already hastily opening the door I was waiting for myself later, so the first fear—a kind of impatient fear, disappeared in the warm embrace when we met and greeted.But then, when she wanted to go home, a shuddering, unearthly, mysterious terror came over her, a guilty terror mixed vaguely with a delusional vision. At the same time, it seems that every stranger walking on the street can perceive where she is from from her demeanor, and then smile unscrupulously at her bewilderment.At the last moment beside him, she was already occupied by the increasingly intense nervousness that she had already foreseen.When she was about to leave, her hands were trembling because of her haste. While listening to his words absent-mindedly, she eagerly prevented him from bursting out his long-overdue passion.Leaving, she hoped that everything in her heart would also leave forever, leave his home, leave the building where he lived, and return to the peaceful world of citizens from the adventurous encounter.She hardly dared to look at herself in the mirror for fear of seeing that suspicion in her eyes, but she felt it necessary to check whether her bewilderment had left any moment of passionate ecstasy on her clothes. clues.In the end, even though he was repeating those words endlessly, she couldn't comfort her heart after all. She was so nervous that she almost didn't hear him, but hid behind the door and listened with bated breath to see if anyone went up or down the stairs.But when she got outside, the fear had already grabbed her impatiently and couldn't help but stop her heartbeat, so she walked down a few stairs, and she was already out of breath, and even felt that she had finally gathered The strength to stand up has been exhausted.
She stood for a moment with her eyes closed, breathing in the cool air of the first twilight in the stairwell.At this time, the door of a house upstairs was slammed shut. She was startled, pulled herself together, and hurried downstairs, her hands involuntarily covering the thick veil more tightly.Now is the terrible last moment, she is afraid of going to the street from an unfamiliar door, afraid that an acquaintance will just pass by here and ask her where she is from, afraid that she will fall into confusion and dangerous lies, so she is like a Like a long jumper at the run-up, with his head down, he suddenly made up his mind and rushed towards the half-open gate.
Just then, she bumped into a woman who was clearly trying to get in. "Sorry!" she said awkwardly, trying to sprint past her.But the man blocked the door firmly, staring at her angrily, with an unscrupulous sarcasm on his face. "I've got you at last!" she yelled indifferently, her voice shrill. "Of course, you are a decent woman, a so-called decent woman! You have a husband, you have money, you have everything, but you still don't like me. Not enough, but also snatching a lover with a poor girl..."
"Oh my God... what are you trying to do...you got it wrong..." Irena faltered, trying to slip away from her clumsily, but the woman's huge body blocked the doorway, with a harsh voice Responded viciously: "No, I didn't make a mistake...I know you...you came out from Edward, he is my boyfriend...I finally caught you today, and now I know, why recently He rarely accompanies me...so it's because of you...because of you bastard..."
"My God," Irena interrupted her in a low voice, "can you stop shouting like that?" Irena retreated into the corridor involuntarily, and the woman stared at her sarcastically.Somehow, her trembling fear, this obvious helplessness seemed to make the woman feel happy. The woman looked at the victim in front of her with a mocking smile of confidence and complacency on her face, in a wretched and carefree manner. Slowed down her voice and even sounded garrulous.
"It seems that this is what happened when you cheated with men. You married ladies, these noble and dignified ladies. You wear veils, of course you will wear veils, and you can pretend to be elegant ladies everywhere..."
"You...what do you want from me?...I don't know you at all...I have to go..."
"Go?...Of course...Go back to your husband...Go back to the warm room, continue to play elegant women, ask the servants to change clothes...But, what are we doing? Are we starving to death? , you ladies will feel that you have nothing to do with yourself... This is how you steal the last of a person's possessions, these decent women..."
Irena lifted her spirits, followed a vague inspiration, reached into her wallet, took out the banknotes and held them in her palm. "This... this is for you...but you let me go now...I will never come here again...I swear to you..."
The woman gave her a savage look and took the money away. "Sexy woman." She murmured.Irena couldn't help being startled, but when she saw the woman give way to her, she rushed out the door quickly. The sound of "whoosh" was like the sound of a person who committed suicide by jumping off a building and fell to the ground.She ran forward, the faces of passers-by seemed to be deformed grimaces flashed past her eyes, her eyes were blurred, struggling forward, and finally came to a taxi parked at the corner.She threw herself onto the cushion as if she were throwing a heavy object, and then everything in her mind froze.On the contrary, the driver was quite surprised and couldn't hold his breath anymore, so he asked the strange passenger where he was going. She stared at him blankly for a while, and finally understood his words in her drowsy mind. "To the South Railway Station." She blurted out hastily, and suddenly thought that maybe the woman would still follow her, so she said, "Hurry up, hurry up, drive!"
It wasn't until she was on the road that she felt how much her heart hurt when she met this woman on a narrow road.She touched her hands, they seemed to be numb and lost their feeling, drooping stiffly and coldly on her body, she suddenly began to tremble, and her whole body trembled.There was a bitter taste rolling in her throat, she felt sick, and a vague and inexplicable anger seemed to convulse, pulling out the contents of her chest.She wanted to yell, or punch her fists, to free herself from the horrible memory.The memory stuck in her mind like a fishhook: the mocking laugh on that wretched face; She gritted her teeth and poured filthy words into her face; the woman even threatened her with her fists.The stronger the nausea, the worse her throat hurts.The speeding car was bumping non-stop. She wanted to signal the driver to drive slowly, but suddenly she remembered that she might not have enough money to pay the fare, because almost all the banknotes on her body were given to the blackmailing woman.She hurriedly signaled the driver to stop, jumped out of the car suddenly, and surprised the driver again.Fortunately, the money left on me was enough for the fare.But at this moment, she found herself living in a strange neighborhood, amidst the bustling crowd, every word she heard and every look she saw made her physically miserable.Her knees gave way with fear, and she shuffled along, but she had to go home.With extraordinary perseverance and using all her strength, she walked through the streets and alleys, as if walking on a muddy road or knee-deep snow.Finally at the door of her own house, she ran up the stairs, flustered in her heart at first, but in order to avoid attracting others' attention because of her restlessness, she immediately restrained her emotions.
The maid helped her take off her coat, and the sound of a little boy playing with his sister came from the next room. She looked around with calm eyes, and everything she saw was her own things, all of which were protected by law. Her face Only then did he regain his composure, and the ups and downs of his heart passed through his still tense and painful chest silently.She took off her veil, adjusted the expression on her face pretending to be calm, and walked into the dining room as if nothing had happened. Her husband was already sitting at the dinner table and reading the newspaper.
"It's late, it's late, dear Irena," he greeted, with tenderness in reproach.He stood up and kissed her on the cheek, which made her feel a terrible sense of shame.They sat down together at the table, and the husband barely looked away from the newspaper, asking casually, "Where have you been for all this time?"
"I was...at...Amelie's...she had something to do...so I went over." She added something, but was angry at herself for being so flustered and incapable of lying .In the past, she always prepared a set of well-thought-out lies that could withstand any test, but today, because she was too scared, she forgot this and had to clumsily make up things.It occurred to her that what if her husband, like the protagonist in the play they saw in the theater recently, telephoned himself and asked about it?
"What's the matter with you? . . . I think you look a little nervous . . . why don't you take your hat off?" asked the husband.Embarrassed by being questioned, she felt that she had been caught on the spot again. She stood up hastily in fright, went into her room and took off her hat, and then looked into her restless eyes from the mirror for a long time until she felt His eyes became peaceful and calm again, and he returned to the restaurant again.
The maid came with the food.This night, like all other nights, perhaps more reticent than usual, was more restrained, and the conversation on this night was anemic, weary, and often stumbling.Her mind kept wandering back to the old ways, and whenever she recalled the terrible moment of her encounter with the blackmailing woman, her thoughts became a tangle of fright.She always felt safe when she raised her eyes.She began to gaze affectionately at the objects full of life one by one. Each object was placed in the room for memory and commemoration, and her heart regained its former ease and calmness.The wall clock broke the silence with steady steely steps, and unconsciously restored her heart to a peaceful and even rhythm.
The next morning, with her husband at the office and the children out for a walk, she finally had some alone time.Under the bright morning sun, after careful recollection, her fear of yesterday's terrible scene has been greatly weakened.In the first place, the veil was so thick that it was impossible for the man to see or re-recognize her facial features.She was calmly considering all precautions at the moment.In any case, it is impossible to go to the lover's house again, so that the sudden attack like yesterday's may be prevented.Although the danger of encountering the woman again still existed, the probability of this was very small, because she had slipped into the car at that time, and she could not have followed her all the time.The woman didn't know her last name or where her home was, and there was no need to worry that the man would be able to re-identify herself with confidence based on the blurred facial features.Even if she encounters the most extreme situation, Irena is already mentally prepared.When she was free from extreme fear, she decided that she must keep her composure, admit nothing, and calmly insist that it was all a misunderstanding, because no one but the woman who blackmailed her had accused her on the spot. Any evidence of a tryst.After all, Irena's husband is one of the most famous defense lawyers in the capital. She knew very well from the conversations between her husband and his fellow lawyers that any hesitation and turmoil on the part of the persecuted will increase the opponent's advantage. Their extortion could only get worse, swift and brutal. The first countermeasure she took was to write to her lover in a hurry, telling him that she would not be able to meet the date at the agreed time tomorrow, and she would not be able to do it in the next few days.When she read it through, she felt that this note, which she had written in disguised handwriting for the first time, had a cold feeling. She wanted to replace the unkind words with more intimate ones, but she remembered the unpleasant meeting yesterday , suddenly the anger was burning, and the lines between the lines unconsciously became as cold as ice.Her pride was bruised by the helpless discovery that she had been turned into a sleazy, degraded ex-girlfriend by her lover's pampering, and she looked at those words with hostility for this cold, vengeful way of herself. Feel really happy, because it's like telling the other person that going on a date depends to some extent on how she feels. This young man is a famous pianist, and Irena met him by chance at a party.Of course, this kind of gathering was limited to a very small area, but she herself didn't even think about it, didn't even understand how it happened, and soon became his lover.In fact, in her nature, she had no passion for him, and in his body, he had no sensual or spiritual interest in her.She committed herself to him not because she needed him or had a strong desire for him, but because she was too lazy to resist him, or because of a restless curiosity.There was no reason in her mind for needing a lover, she had neither the natural contentment of a happy marriage nor the loss of spiritual sustenance that women usually have.She was a happy woman, her husband was a rich man with more intelligence than herself, and there were two children at home. Although there was always a dull atmosphere, she lived a comfortable and peaceful life. Lazy and content.The atmosphere is as sensual as heat or wind, a bliss in the middle of hot and cold, which is more easily seduced than misfortune, and for many women their wantlessness and longing from despair Not being satisfied is just as dangerous.A full man is not necessarily better than a hungry man, and the comfortable and comfortable life makes her curious about romantic affairs.Nowhere in her life has she encountered resistance.Everywhere she meets is a tender side, and what is shown in front of her is meticulous care, tender love and respect from her family. She never expected that such a modest life would never be replaced by external objects. It is measured, because external objects always reflect only things that have no internal connection. From a certain angle, she feels that this kind of comfort and comfort deceives her real life. She had dimly dreamed of great love and ecstasy in her girlhood, but was paralyzed by the pleasant and quiet first years of marriage and the playful allure of first-time motherhood, and her dreams were now at the threshold of her infancy. When I was thirty, I started to wake up again.Like any woman, she had endowed herself with a capacity for great passion, but had not endowed her own experience with the will and the courage that is the willingness to pay the price of life for an affair.Just when she felt that she could not add luster to her satisfactory life, this young man, enveloped in a romantic and artistic atmosphere, walked into her small world.And men usually just make some harmless jokes, play some flirting games, respectfully call her "beautiful wife", never seriously regard her as a woman, so from her For the first time since her girlhood, she experienced that excitement in the depths of her heart.There was nothing about him that attracted her, except perhaps the shadow of sorrow on his too conspicuous face.She can't even distinguish this shadow clearly, just like his superb piano skills and his dejected meditation, it is actually a kind of training, and he practiced it in this meditation. improvised.She felt surrounded by bored middle-class people, and for her this melancholy was the imaginary higher world, the colorful world she had admired in books and romanticized. Appearing in a drama, she inadvertently crosses the boundaries of everyday emotion in order to see what happened.A compliment caused him to look up from the keys to give her a quick glance, which caught her heart just in time.The compliment came because she was overwhelmed by his playing at the moment, so it was perhaps more warm than polite.She was overwhelmed, and at the same time felt a thrill of overcoming all fears: everything seemed to be lit and heated by this secret fire during one of their conversations, which aroused her intense curiosity. Heart, so at a public concert, she met him again.Afterwards they met more frequently, and soon no need to rely on chance encounters.Although she had not hitherto had much of an astonishing taste in music, and had every reason to disregard his own, he assured her again and again that she was of utmost importance to him as a true confidant and advisor to the artist. The important thing is that it was such vanity that made her rashly agree to his proposal a few weeks later. He said that he hoped to play his latest work for her and only for her in his own home.Maybe this promise was just half-truth on his mind, but that day started with hugs and kisses and ended with her devotion, which surprised even herself.Her first feeling was that of fear at this sudden turn to the flesh. The mysterious fear surrounding this relationship suddenly disappeared, and the stimulated vanity and determination to refuse to return to her middle-class world for the first time, partly Easing her sense of guilt for her unintentional adultery.In the first few days her own infamy had terrified her with terror, and now her vanity had turned the terror into complacency, a mysterious excitement filled only for an instant with nervousness.Her instinct was quietly resisting this man, and what she resisted the most was the new things in his heart. In fact, it was this other kind of things that once aroused her curiosity.His outlandish attire, his wandering home like a gypsy, his irregular financial situation, which oscillated forever between luxury and misery, all repelled her bourgeois sensibilities.Like most women, she imagined the artist from afar as a romantic, polite in his dealings, radiant like a beast, but imprisoned behind the fences of civilization.The passion that used to run through her when he played became unsettling after being physically close to him, and she didn't like the sudden, condescending embrace that was self-righteous and reckless , and her husband's embrace, after all these years, still reveals the shy, adoring passion, and she unconsciously compares the two.But now, once she has been unfaithful to her husband, she goes to him again and again, and she is neither happy nor disappointed, just out of a certain sense of duty and that kind of habit Just lazy.A woman like her is not uncommon among frivolous women and even prostitutes, but her inner petty bourgeois habits are deeply rooted, so she will bring order to adultery, thrift and housekeeping to bohemian life, trying to wear patience. The masks mix the most outlandish emotions into everyday life.In a few weeks, she made this young man, her lover, adapt to her living habits in some details, just like her father-in-law and mother-in-law. She made it a rule to see him once a week, but herself I didn't give up my original life order because of this new relationship, but just added some color to my life to some extent.Her lover soon became a comfort machine in her life, adding something to her blissful existence, like a third child or a car, soon after , she felt that such an affair had become as banal as a reasonable enjoyment. Now, with the real price to pay for the affair—the risk—she was, for the first time, grappling with whether it was worth it.Due to the favor of fate, she was spoiled and raised since she was a child, and her family was rich and carefree, so she felt unbearable when she encountered such unhappiness for the first time.She immediately refused to make any sacrifices to her carefree inner world, and was willing to give up her lover without hesitation in order to satisfy a life of freedom.
The lover's reply letter was delivered by the postman in the afternoon, and he was obviously frightened, nervous and hesitant between the lines.His delirious pleas, lamentations, and complaints throughout the letter made her hesitant again to end the affair, as her vanity's desire was satisfied and her despair of him resumed. Get drunk.Her lover begged in the most urgent language to at least see her immediately, if he had really hurt her somewhere without knowing it, then at least he could figure out what he was guilty of.Now this new game enticed her to go on against him and make him pay for herself even more expensively by refusing for no good reason.She found herself in a state of excitement, and it was comforting to be surrounded by wild passions that she did not ignite herself, like all people who are cold at heart.She suddenly remembered a coffee shop where she once had a tryst with an actor when she was a girl.But now she thinks that meeting was childish and ridiculous, the actor respected her so much, but he didn't care so much.So she asked her lover to meet in that cafe.It was strange, she told herself, laughing to herself, that this kind of romance, which had withered like a flower years after her marriage, was blooming again in her life.Yesterday's disappointing encounter with that woman made her feel sincerely happy, and she re-experienced a long-lost strong feeling from it. This feeling was so exciting that her nerves that were easy to relax quietly trembled again . This time, she wore a discreet black dress and another hat in case the woman recognized her when they met.In order to prevent people from seeing her face clearly, she also prepared a veil, but a stubborn thought suddenly came to her mind, and she threw the veil aside.Had she, a respected and well-known wife, dared not go out into the streets for fear of some woman she did not know at all?And besides the fear of danger, there is a strange and alluring thrill in her heart, a kind of joy of being ready to fight, excited by danger, like fingers touching the blade of a sharp dagger or As if seeing the muzzle of a revolver, Death shies away from under the black scabbard or holster.In the horror of this adventure, her otherwise comfortable and safe life was gradually approaching something extraordinary again, like a game seduced her, it was a sensational event, and it was wonderfully tensing her at this moment. Her nerves, like electric sparks, flashed through her blood. A fleeting sense of dread passed through her only the moment she stepped out into the street.It's like putting your toes into the water tentatively before jumping into the waves, and you will feel yourself shivering nervously from the cold.But this shiver passed through her suddenly, and a strange joy of life was suddenly frozen in her heart. It was a desire to move forward in strides.Never before had her walk been so carefree and light and powerful.The cafe was so close that she even felt a little regretful, because at this moment a certain will drove her forward rhythmically, drawing her into that mysterious and fascinating adventure.Although she had set a very tight time for this meeting, she still had a good hunch in her heart that her lover should have been waiting there long ago.Sure enough, when he entered the shop, he was waiting for her in a corner, and when he saw her, he immediately jumped up excitedly from his seat. This scene made her feel both comfortable and unhappy.She had to remind him to keep his voice down, and because of his inner confusion and emotional agitation, he was eager to ask her questions and accuse her like a cannonball.But she did not give him any hint as to the real reason for not going to the appointment, but only played with some cryptic words, and this ambiguous attitude made him even more angry.Although she didn't agree to his request this time, she still began to hesitate about the previous decision, because she felt how angry this inexplicable and unexpected evasion and rejection made him.After half an hour of tense talk, she parted from him, without showing him the slightest tenderness or even the slightest hint, but with a strange burning feeling in her heart that she was a little girl. Emotions from time to time.She felt as if a small, exciting flame flickered deep within her, and all it took was a gust of wind to turn into a raging fire that would engulf her.She strode forward hastily, paying attention to every gaze shot at her from the alley, she did not expect that she had successfully attracted the attention of so many men, which aroused her strong curiosity Desiring to see her own face, she stopped suddenly in front of a mirror in the window of a flower shop, so that she could see her face in a frame of red roses and violets glistening with dew.Her eyes sparkled, and she looked into the window mirror, where she was so young, beautiful, and light-hearted, smiling contentedly at herself with her sensual lips half parted.She felt that when she stepped forward at this moment, her limbs seemed to become the wings of a bird, and she was about to fly.Her body broke the original calm rhythm of her steps because of the desire to get rid of the shackles, to dance, to be ecstatic.Now, as she was hurrying past St. Michel's, the sound of the bell calling her home, back to the bustling and orderly world, made her rather unhappy.Since she was a girl, she has never felt so relaxed and happy, and her senses have never been so full of vitality. Whether it is the first days after marriage or the embrace with her lover, there has never been a spark flashing through her heart. Body, now she wants to consume all these rare unencumbered, intoxicated sweet feelings in the body within the specified time, she finds this simply unbearable.She walked forward with all her strength, and when she reached the door of the house, she hesitated again and stopped still. She wanted to open her chest again and take a deep breath of fiery breath, reminiscing about that dazzling moment, Bear the last of the dying waves of this love adventure deep inside. Just then, someone touched her shoulder.She turned around unexpectedly, and suddenly saw that ugly face. "You...what else do you want to do?" She faltered in panic.When she heard herself say this fatal sentence, she felt even more frightened.She had originally planned that if she saw this woman again, she should pretend not to know her, deny everything, and question this extorting woman face to face...but it was too late now. "I have been waiting for you here for half an hour, Mrs. Wagner." Irena couldn't help being startled when she heard the woman call her name. It turned out that this person knew her name and where she lived.Now everything is over, she is doomed, and can only be at the mercy of others.Her mouth wanted to speak, and she carefully considered how to choose her words, but her tongue couldn't control her, and she couldn't make a word. "I have been waiting for you for half an hour, Mrs. Wagner." The man repeated it aggressively, as if reprimanding her. "What do you want... What else do you want from me..." "You know, Mrs. Wagner," Irene was startled when she heard her call her name again, "you know very well why I came here." "I've never met him...you're leaving me now...I'll never see him again...never..." The man waited leisurely until Irena was too excited to speak, and then said rudely as if ordering a subordinate: "Don't lie! I followed you to the cafe." Seeing Irena shrinking back, She added mockingly: "I don't have anything else to do. They fired me because it was a recession and there weren't that many jobs. You see, there are opportunities to take advantage of, so people like us Also go for a walk outside... just like a decent woman." Irena's heart was pierced by her cold and malicious words. This kind of blackmail was base and cruel.Irene felt powerless to resist, and the fear made her more and more uneasy, that this person might start shouting again, or that her husband would just pass by and it would all be over.She hastily put her hand into the muff, opened the wallet, took out all the money and held it in her hand, and touched the woman's hand in disgust, only to see the woman stretched out her hand slowly with a look of certainty on her face, He took his prey without hesitation. But this time, the shameless hand touched the money and did not put it down as it did last time, but stretched out motionless in front of Irena, like a sharp claw. "You might as well give me that purse too, so I don't lose the money!" she pouted sarcastically, accompanied by a chuckle. Irena glanced at her.The brazen, vile, cynicism in the woman's eyes was unbearable.Nausea seemed to pass through her entire body, and she felt a sharp pain.The only option is to leave, leave, as long as you never see this face again!Without avoiding it, she quickly handed over the priceless bag to the woman, and then walked up the stairs in a panic. Before her husband came home, she fell on the sofa and lay there motionless, as if hit by a hammer. She felt a violent convulsion throbbing through her fingers, gradually transferred to her arms, and finally It spread to the shoulders, and there was no strength in the body that could resist this sudden fear.It wasn't until she heard the sound of her husband coming back from outside that she pulled herself together and shuffled into another room in a daze.
Now the fear had taken root in her home and there was no way to dislodge it from the room.For many empty hours, waves of images of that terrible encounter rushed back into her memory, knowing full well that her situation was hopeless.She didn't understand how all this happened. Since that person knew her name and where she lived, and since he succeeded in the previous two times easily, she would undoubtedly use all means to blackmail her endlessly by using her identity as an insider. .That woman will definitely be like a mountain on her life path, and she will not be able to get rid of it for many years. Irene is desperate and feels that no matter how hard she tries, she will be useless. Although she is now rich and a rich lady, she still can't Get a lot of money without telling her husband.With this money, she can get rid of this person forever.And she knew from her husband's occasional accounts and various lawsuits that the contracts and promises of those old crafty and unscrupulous fellows were worth nothing.She calculated that she might be able to temporarily avoid the disaster for a few months, but her happy family would surely collapse in the future.What relieved her a little was that she was sure to drag this extortionate woman into the abyss of eternal doom.她使自己失去了平静的生活，整天陷于恐惧之中不能自拔，与这种苦不堪言的生活相比，对那个早该受到惩罚的邋遢女人来说，蹲六个月大牢又算得了什么呢？自己丧失了名誉，有了污点，现在必须重新开始一种新的生活，她觉得这是令人难以想象的，而在此之前的生活都是别人带给她的，她压根儿就没有掌控过自己的命运。后来她又想到她的孩子在这里，她的丈夫，她的家，所有这些东西，只有到了此时此刻，当她快要失去之时，她才感觉到其实它们早已成了她内在生活的一部分——核心部分。她先前觉得所有这一切是那么唾手可得，只要穿着一件裸露的衣服就可以轻易到手，可现在她突然觉得这样的日子真是弥足珍贵。有时候，她觉得这种想法匪夷所思，真的像梦一样不真实：一个陌生的流浪女人潜伏在不知道哪儿的大街上，竟然有权用一句话便能将一个温情脉脉的大家庭拆散。 现在她明白无误地感觉到灾难是不可避免的，逃脱是不可能的。可是会发生……会发生什么呢？她从早到晚都在想着这个问题。总有一天，一封信将抵达她丈夫的手上，她会看到他走进来，脸色苍白，眼神黯淡，一把抓住她的胳膊质问……那然后呢……然后会发生什么呢？他会做什么？在迷惘而残酷的恐惧黑暗中，画面突然在这里消失了。她不知道后面的结局，她的猜测在头晕眼花之中坠入无底的深渊。然而在苦思冥想中，有一点她也已经可怕地意识到了，那就是事实上她太不了解自己的丈夫，事先对他会做什么决定考虑得太少了。她是遵从父母之命和他结婚的，当初并没有任何不从的意思，经过这么多年，对他挺有好感，始终没有感到失望。到今天已经在他身边幸福甜美地生活了八个年头，为他生养了两个孩子，有了一个家，还有两个人无以数计的肉体相互温存的时刻。但是现在，当她自问丈夫会采取怎样的态度时，她才明白过来，丈夫在自己眼里完完全全是一个陌生人。她发疯似的回忆着，用幽灵一般的探照灯去搜索近几年的生活，她发现自己从未探究过他真正的本性，这么多年也不知道他究竟是一个冷酷无情的人，还是一个好说话的人，是一个严厉的人，还是一个温柔的人。她从这种必须严肃对待的生活恐惧中醒来，怀着一种迟来的负罪感，不得不承认自己了解到的仅仅是他流于表面的社会形象，却未曾了解到他内在的本质，而只有从他的本质中，她才可以探究出他在这种悲剧性的时刻究竟会做出怎样的决定。她不由自主地开始研究起那些细枝末节和暗示性的东西，开始思考假如碰到类似问题，他将在谈话时做出怎样的判断。可令她大感惊讶的是，她发现丈夫几乎从未对她表达过个人的观点，不过从另一方面看，她也从来没有提出过关于内心生活的问题来向他求教。现在她才开始从能够揭示其性格的个别特征中猜测他的整个人生，此刻她正满怀恐惧地拿起那把胆怯的锤子，敲击着每一个细小的回忆，寻找通往他心灵密室的入口。 现在她开始窥探他发表的每一个最细微的意见，心急如焚地期待他的到来。他几乎从不面对面地表达问候，但从他的手势看，比如他吻她的手或者用手指抚摩她的头发，她感觉到那种含情脉脉的存在，尽管她羞羞答答地害怕那些狂热的表情，但这种含情脉脉应该表示他内心深处是喜欢她的吧。他和她说话时总是从容不迫，永远不会烦躁不安或是兴奋激动，他的整个行为举止显出镇静而友善，可这与他对待仆人时的镇静和友善几无区别，这就让她有点惴惴不安，妄加猜测了。而与他对待孩子的态度相比，那种举止显然更加算不得什么了，孩子们到了他那里，他始终表现得很活跃，时而轻松愉快，时而兴致勃勃。他今天又是不厌其烦地询问家里的各种琐事，似乎是给她机会在他面前陈述她的兴趣，好把他自己的兴趣隐藏起来。现在通过对他的观察，她第一次发现丈夫对自己是那么体贴入微，他一直在努力以克制的方式适应她的日常谈话，她突然惊骇地认识到那些善意的谈话其实是多么枯燥无味。他在言辞方面没有透露任何心声，这使她那一颗渴望获得宁静的好奇心不免感到失望。 因为从他的话音里无法获取他的秘密，所以她只好研究起他的脸部表情来。此刻他坐在靠背椅上看书，他的周围被耀眼的灯光照亮了，她朝他的脸凝神望去，仿佛在看一张陌生的面孔。长达八年不痛不痒的夫妻生活将他的性格特征藏匿起来了，伊蕾娜正试图从既熟悉，又突然变得陌生的面部表情中发现他的这些特征。他的额头明亮如昼，气宇轩昂，令人感到一种内心强大的精神力量，但他的嘴唇却很严厉，没有任何顺从屈就的意思。一切都表现出他强有力的男子汉气概特征，精神抖擞，活力四射。她感到惊讶的是，她从丈夫脸上发现了一种俊美，她赞赏地观察那种尽力抑制着的严肃神情。对他本质中这种明显居高临下的姿态，她之前仅仅简单地将其解读为不苟言笑，但和社交辞令的滔滔不绝相比，她更喜欢这种些许的木讷寡言。而那双眼睛呢，想必能够隐藏他真正的秘密，却始终下垂着注视书本，不让她看明白。她只好一直以探询的目光凝视他的侧影，仿佛那一起一伏的线条代表一句话，要么宽恕你的罪孽，要么罚你下地狱。这张脸的轮廓显得有些陌生，它的冷酷令她大为惊骇，但它的坚毅让她第一次意识到一种引人注目的俊美。她猛然感觉到自己喜欢充满乐趣地看着他，并以此为豪。她在这种感觉清醒的时候，总好像有什么东西在拽着她的胸口，让她感到很痛苦，这是一种沉闷阴郁的感觉，一种差不多是感官方面的紧张不安，她遗憾自己错过了某些东西，永远难以想象从丈夫的肉体方面能得到类似的强烈感受。这时，他突然从书本中抬起头来望了望。她急忙转过身去，重新退回到深邃的黑暗中，不让他从她的眼神中看出那个迫切的疑问，以免引起他的怀疑。
已经有三天没离开自己的家了。她不快地发觉，自己这样突然大门不出，二门不迈，早已引起了他人的注意，因为通常而言，她很少接连几个小时或是几天待在自己的家里。她天生不是一个很会当家的人，经济上的充裕使她摆脱了对家庭境况的任何后顾之忧。因为整天在家感觉无聊，这个家无异于成了她来去匆匆的休憩地，而大街、剧院、社交协会那能够了解外部世界变化的各种聚会成了她最喜欢逗留的场所，因为这里的享受并不需要做出任何内心的努力，在遇到懵懵懂懂的情感时，所有的感官将会得到多种多样的刺激。就伊蕾娜的整个思维方式而言，她无疑属于维也纳有产阶层中优雅集团里的一分子。根据一种不成文的约定俗成，他们全部的日程安排似乎就在于，这个看不见摸不着的组织的每一个成员，要在同样的时刻，怀着同样的兴趣，迅即聚会在一起，并且把这个永远经得起对比的观察和会面逐渐升格为他们人生的意义。一旦一个人只依靠自己孤独地生活，那么这种习惯于懒散的公共生活将失去任何支撑，如果微不足道然而必不可少的感觉没有了熟悉的养料，所有感官将会起来造反，而独处将会骤然变成神经质的自我敌视，会没完没了地感觉时间压在自己的身上，没有了自己习惯的使命，流淌的时间也失去了任何意义。伊蕾娜在自己的房间里来回踱步，感到自己宛如置身于高墙之内，闲散无事、焦躁不安。大街、世界，那是她真正的生活，却不准她进入，那个敲诈勒索的女人却像个天使，带着一把闪闪发光的剑，气焰嚣张地站在那里。 两个孩子从一开始就注意到了她的变化，尤其是年龄稍大的男孩，看到妈妈老是在房间里待着，不免露出一副天真惊讶的神情。仆人们也开始窃窃私语，和家庭女教师一起议论他们的种种猜测。伊蕾娜竭力寻找各种各样的，部分是碰巧想到的非做不可的事来做，以说明她出人意料地待在家里是有正当理由的，可一切只能适得其反，恰恰是这种人为编造的解释暴露了她的秘密。这么多年对家务事不闻不问，她在原本属于自己的工作范围内成了一个毫无用处的人。凡是她想亲力而为的地方，总是会碰到外人的阻挠，他们将她突兀的尝试视为有悖常规的自以为是而加以拒绝。所有的空间都被人占领了，她本人因为不习惯而成了自己家庭组织里的异物，于是她不知道该如何打发自己，打发自己的时间。连和孩子们亲近，她也失败了，他们对她心血来潮的新管教方式表示怀疑。有一次，她试图看管他们，七岁的儿子竟然无礼地问她为什么最近不再外出散步，她羞愧得面红耳赤。她在哪儿帮忙，哪儿的秩序就会被打乱，她对哪儿产生兴趣，哪儿的人就会对她产生怀疑。可是她又缺乏那种技巧，无法采用明智而克制的方法让人不注意到她老是不出家门，或者无法平心静气地待在房间里，比如看看书，做点家务活。内心的恐惧不停地把她从一个房间驱赶到另一个房间，恐惧就像任何一个强烈的感觉一样，在她身上变成了神经质的东西。只要听到电话铃声或者门铃声，她马上会慌成一团，然后突然发觉自己总是躲藏在窗帘后面向大街窥望，如饥似渴地望着行人或者至少瞅一下他们的外貌，她向往自由的日子，可内心总是满怀恐惧，害怕从路过的众多脸中突然看到那张脸，那张脸已经跟踪到她的梦里去了。宁静甜美的生活已在顷刻间化为乌有，她沮丧地预测，随之而来的将是一种完全毁灭的人生，感到这三天蹲在这房间的高墙内，比她八年婚姻还要漫长。 可在第三天晚上，她接受了数周以来的第一次邀请，和丈夫一起参加聚会。现在，倘若无法说明充分的理由，她是不可能突然拒绝他的邀请了，再说这些看不见的恐怖栅栏如今已在她的生活周围筑起，总有一天必须砸断，她才不至于毁灭。她需要和人相处，需要用几小时的休息时间来摆脱自己，摆脱恐惧带来的自杀式的孤寂。那么还有什么比和朋友们一起待的陌生房间更安全的地方呢？还有什么比摆脱这种日常路途中的无形跟踪更可靠的地方呢？她离开家门，这是她和那个女人最近相遇之后第一次重新触摸大街。很可能那个女人就在哪个地方暗中守候着呢，她的内心颤抖了一下，尽管只是短短的一瞬间。她情不自禁地抓住丈夫的胳膊，闭上双眼，迅疾走了几步路，从人行道钻进一辆等候着的汽车里，直到她安全地依偎在丈夫的一侧，汽车“呼”的一声穿越夜晚孤寂的大街时，她心中的一块巨石才算落了地，而当她迈开脚步踏上陌生人家的楼梯，她才知道自己总算平安无事了。现在，她又可以像以往那样度过逍遥自在、快乐无比的几个小时，从监狱的高墙重新回到阳光普照的人间，这使她越发意识到自己的喜悦之情。这里是抗击任何跟踪的堡垒，憎恨是进不来的，这里只有喜欢她、尊重她和敬仰她的人，都是些打扮光鲜、心无恶意的人，他们的周围被无忧无虑的微红色火焰映射得熠熠生辉，那令人陶醉的轮舞今天终于又重新拥抱她了。因为她一进来，立刻从其他人的目光中感觉到自己很美，她也因为这种长时间缺乏的有意识的感觉而变得更美了。她始终感觉到有一把想象的锋利犁刀，徒劳无益地在她的脑子里耕了个遍，弄得她内心的一切伤痕累累，痛苦万分。现在，在经过多日的沉默之后，这是多么叫人愉快啊，能够重新听到那些恭维谄媚的话，就像一股电流活生生地传至她的皮肤，再流入她的血液，这是多么叫人舒心啊。她出神地待在那里，有种东西在她的胸间不安地颤动，想要跳出来。她突然意识到那是一种笑声，在被禁锢多时之后，现在终于要释放出来了。仿佛是香槟酒瓶口的软木塞“砰”的一声蹦了出来，随即发出一阵低沉的咕噜声似的，她不停地放声大笑，有时对自己放荡不羁的忘乎所以都有点难为情了，但马上又会纵情大笑起来。她放松的神经在放电，全身所有的感官都活跃起来，健康而兴奋，好多天以来第一次感觉自己真的饿了，她又开始尽情地享受起美食来，像一个渴极的人一样拼命畅饮。 她渴望和人相聚，渴望从各种生命气息和享乐中为干枯的心灵汲取养料。隔壁房间的音乐把她吸引住了，钻入她火热的皮肤深处。舞会开始了，她还没弄明白是怎么回事，便一头扎进熙熙攘攘的人群中。在她的一生中，她还从未这么跳过舞。舞池中不停地旋转将她身上的所有重负抛到了九霄云外，富有规律的音乐节奏不断地刺激着她的四肢，使她的身体充满火一样的活力。一旦音乐停下，她便会感觉寂静是一种痛苦，好像有一条不安生的蛇从她颤抖的四肢不停地向上蹿动，她如同在游泳池凉快的池水中歇息冷静了一番，然后又重新跳入旋转不停的舞池中。以往她是一个不显山不露水的舞伴，一招一式矜持而从容，冷酷而谨慎，可这一次，无拘无束的欣喜若狂消除了身上的所有顾虑。一条象征羞耻和镇静的铁丝原本可以将最疯狂的激情紧箍成一束，此刻也从中间裂开了。她感觉自己毫无理由地被完完全全融化在快乐之中，感觉自己周围被无数双手臂和无数双手紧紧搂抱住，相碰在一起，又悄然离开了。人们说话时的呼吸声，爆发出来的爽朗笑声，还有她血液里面颤动的音乐声，使她的整个身体充满渴望，身上的衣服好似在燃烧，她真想在不知不觉中将全部衣服扯下来，好让自己不加任何掩饰地、更深切地体会到这种欣喜若狂。 “伊蕾娜，你怎么了？”她踉踉跄跄地转过身去，眼里依然带着笑意，神情依然像被舞伴搂抱时那样热烈，然而丈夫讶异而呆滞的目光正冷酷无情地刺向她的心脏，她大吃一惊，难道是她太疯狂了吗？难道是她的狂热将什么东西暴露出来了吗？ “什么……你说什么，弗里茨？”她支支吾吾地问道，因为丈夫的目光令她大感意外，那目光透露出他斩钉截铁般的果断坚决，越来越深地射进她的心中，她现在完全能从内心，从内心深处感觉得到，她真想大吼一声。 “这可真稀奇啊。”丈夫终于喃喃说道，话语里含着隐隐约约的惊奇。伊蕾娜不敢问他究竟是什么意思，但现在他默不作声地转身离开，伊蕾娜看到他宽大的肩膀有力地坚挺起来，粗壮的脖颈显得更加顽强不屈。她的四肢禁不住打了个寒战，仿佛遇到了一个杀人凶手，这个寒战在她的脑子里一闪而过，只是一眨眼的工夫，马上又毫无影踪了。此刻，她仿佛第一次看到他，看到自己的丈夫，她惊恐万状，原来丈夫是如此强大而危险。 音乐再度响起，一位先生向她走来，她只是机械地拉住他的手臂，现在一切变得艰难起来，连欢快的旋律也无法抬起她那僵硬的身躯了。一种阴郁的重负从她的心脏落到了她的脚上，每跨一步都让她感到痛苦，她只好请求舞伴能够让自己稍事休息。往回走时，她不禁朝四下里张望，看看丈夫是否就在附近。她果真吓了一跳，因为丈夫就站在她身后的地方，仿佛在等她，他又是用那种赤裸裸的目光盯着她看。What does he want to do?难道他知道了什么事吗？伊蕾娜不由得提起自己的上衣，好像是要保护自己裸露的乳房不受他侵犯似的。他的沉默很顽固，一如他的目光。 “我们走吗？”她胆怯地问道。 “好。”他的声音听起来生硬而无情。他走在前面，她又看到了他盛气凌人的宽大脖颈。有人帮她披上皮大衣，可她还是觉得冷。他们并排坐在车里，彼此没有出声。伊蕾娜一句话也不敢说，她迷迷糊糊地感觉到一种新的危险，现在自己要受到两面夹攻了。
这天夜里，她做了一个令人窒息的梦。一种陌生的音乐响了起来，大厅宽敞而明亮，她走进去，各种各样的人和五彩缤纷的色彩同她的各种动作交织在一起。这时有一个男青年挤到她跟前，她觉得认识他，但又不能完全猜出是谁，他抓住她的胳膊，便和她跳起舞来。她感觉很舒服，很温馨，一种无与伦比的波涛般的音乐将她举了起来，她再也感觉不到大地的存在，于是他们跳着舞穿越了许许多多的大厅。那些大厅里的金色灯架挂得很高，仿佛天上闪烁的柔弱星光，紧挨着的许多面镜子向她投来各自的微笑，然后在没完没了的反射中重新将微笑投向远方。舞会越来越火爆，音乐也越来越热烈。她注意到那青年和自己贴得更紧了，青年的手埋在她裸露的胳膊下，她因为悲喜交集而叹息着，此刻，他们终于四目相对，伊蕾娜才觉得认出他来了。她想起他就是那个演员，自己还是小姑娘的时候曾经狂热地暗恋过他，她惊喜得正想说出他的名字来，青年却用一次狂吻堵住了她轻轻的呼唤。就这样，两张嘴合在了一起，两个身体相互燃烧变成了一个身体。他们像是被一阵风扛着似的，幸福地飞过那些大厅，一堵堵墙像退潮似的流走，她已经感觉不到那天花板在漂浮，只觉得这样的时刻有着说不出的轻松，整个四肢仿佛挣脱了锁链。就在这时，有个人突然碰了一下她的肩膀。她停住脚步，音乐也随之戛然而止，灯光也熄灭了，那一堵堵黑魆魆的墙拼命挤过来，她的舞伴也不见了踪影。“把他还给我，你这个小偷！”那个面目可憎的女人大吼道，吼叫的声音如此之大，墙壁随之发出尖锐刺耳的回响，然后那女人冰冷的手指夹住她的手关节不放。她奋力抵抗，听到自己在吼叫，那是一种惊恐的叫喊声，既抓狂，又刺耳。于是两个人开始扭作一团，但那个女人更厉害，拉下了她戴在脖子上的珍珠项链，同时把她的连衣裙扯下了一半，她的乳房和胳膊全都暴露在撕烂的衣衫外面了。忽然，那些人又回来了，随着嘈杂声越来越大，他们纷纷从各个大厅蜂拥而入，脸上满含嘲讽，目瞪口呆地盯着她俩看。她们俩一个半裸着身子，另一个在发出尖叫：“她抢我的男人，这个通奸的女人，这个妓女。”她不知道自己该往哪儿躲，眼神该往哪儿转，因为这些人越走越近，那一张张鬼脸充满好奇，大呼小叫，盯着她的裸露处看。此刻，她游移不定的眼神急于寻找脱身的地方，却突然看见丈夫一动不动地站在昏暗的门框内，右手藏在背后。她大叫了一声，为了逃脱他的视线，跑过了好几个大厅，目光贪婪的人群在她身后推推搡搡，她感觉自己的衣服越来越向下滑去，几乎拉都拉不过来了。这时，只听见“砰”的一声，一扇大门在她面前打开了，为了尽快脱身，她拼着小命冲下楼去，可又是那个下流女人，穿着羊毛裙子，伸出爪子似的双手等候在楼下。她一骨碌闪向一边，疯了似的向远处跑去，但那个女人马上追赶上来，就这样两个人在夜色中沿着寂静的长街追逐着，连街灯都俯下身子对着她们冷笑。她总是听到身后传来那个女人木鞋子的“啪嗒、啪嗒”声，但每当来到一个大街拐角的地方，那里又会重新跳出那个女人来，到下一个大街拐角处还是老样子。那女人总是先一步赶到那里，潜伏在所有的房子后面或者左右两边，伊蕾娜无法超越这个女人，感觉两膝已经不听使唤了。终于，她来到了家门口，立即向楼道里奔去，可当她打开房门时，她的丈夫就站在那里，手里拿着一把刀，用咄咄逼人的目光盯着她看。“你究竟上哪儿去了？”他闷声闷气地问道。“没到哪儿去。”她听见自己说道，可她的身边马上响起一阵刺耳的笑声。“我看见了！我看见了！”那个女人尖声大笑着说道，忽然又出现在伊蕾娜旁边。这时，丈夫举起刀来。“救命啊！”伊蕾娜吼叫道，“救命啊！”…… 她惊恐的两眼向上凝视，和丈夫的目光相遇在一起。这……这是什么地方？她在自己的房间里，吊灯发出微弱的光线，她躺在家里自己的床上，她只是在做梦而已。可为什么丈夫坐在她床边，像对待一个病人那样打量她呢？那盏灯是谁点上的？他为什么那么严肃地站在那里，一动不动，眼神呆滞？她吓得不停地抽搐着，不由得朝他的手看去，不，他的手里并没有拿着刀。渐渐地，她睡梦中的昏昏沉沉消失了，那闪电般的一幅幅景象也不见了。想必她是在做梦，梦里的大吼大叫把他给吵醒了。可他为什么那么严肃地看着她，那么揪心，那么无情？ 她强作微笑问道：“这……这究竟是怎么啦？你干吗那样看着我？我想我只是做了一个噩梦而已。” “是啊，你大声嚷嚷。我在另一个房间听到了你喊叫的声音。” 我叫嚷什么了？我是否泄露什么秘密了？他究竟知道什么了？她忧心忡忡，简直不敢再抬起头来面对他的目光。可他却低下头来，一本正经地注视着她，神色异常平静。“你怎么回事，伊蕾娜？你是发生什么事了吧。这几天你完全变了个人，像是发高烧了一样，神经过敏，心不在焉，怎么睡梦中还喊救命呢？” 她勉强笑了笑，但丈夫坚定地说道：“你不必向我隐瞒什么。你是有什么烦恼或者令人折磨的事吧？你变了样子，家里每个人都注意到了。你应该相信我，伊蕾娜。” 他轻轻地将身子贴近她，手指在抚摩着她裸露的胳膊向她示好，眼里闪耀着异样的光芒。就在丈夫对她的无比痛苦面露忧色的这一瞬间，伊蕾娜的心中突然产生了一种渴望，她真想把自己的身体贴到丈夫壮硕的身体上，紧紧地抱住他，向他坦白一切，就在此刻，在他正看到她无比痛苦的时候，直至他宽恕自己为止。 可吊灯发出的微光照亮了她的脸孔，使她害羞得无法说出这句话来。 “别担心，弗里茨。”尽管身体从头到脚都在颤抖不停，她还是尽力微微一笑，“我只是有点神经过敏吧，马上就会过去的。” 他的手刚才还在紧紧抱住她，这时却忽然抽了回去。只见丈夫在昏暗的灯光下面如死灰，因为心事重重而额头紧锁，此时此刻看到他这个模样，伊蕾娜不禁吓了一跳。丈夫慢慢地直起腰来，缓缓说道：“不知道为什么，我感觉你好像想要把这几天的事情跟我说，一件只是和你我有关的事情。现在就我们两个人在，伊蕾娜。” 她一动不动地躺在那里，仿佛被他这种严肃而蒙眬的目光催眠了一样。她觉得这是多么美好啊，现在一切都会好起来，她只需要说一句话，只是简短的一句话——原谅我吧，他就不会再问究竟是什么事了。可是那灯光为什么还亮着呢？那嘈杂、无礼、窃听的灯光！她感觉到若是在黑暗中，自己就会说出来的。可这种灯光让她丧失了勇气。 “那你真的……真的没有什么事情要跟我说吗？” 这种诱惑多么可怕啊，他的声音多么温柔啊！伊蕾娜从来没有听到他如此说过话。可是这灯光，这吊灯，这黄色的贪婪的灯光啊！ 她提起精神来朗声一笑，“你想到哪儿去了，”却被自己假惺惺的声音吓住了，“难道我睡不好觉，就该有什么秘密，就该有什么风流韵事吗？” 她直打寒战，可想而知这话听起来有多么虚情假意，她简直吓得魂飞魄散，不知不觉地将目光移向了别处。 “那好，晚安。”丈夫说得很简洁，口气很尖锐，那是一种迥然不同的声音，像是一种威胁，或者是一种恶狠狠的嘲笑。 说完，他熄了灯。伊蕾娜看着他的白色影子在门口消失，那影子无声无息，飘忽不定，像是夜里的一个幽灵，而当房门关上的时候，她感觉仿佛是一口棺材被合上了。她感觉世上所有的人都已经死去，空洞无物，只是在自己僵硬的身体里，心和胸在疯狂地碰撞，发出巨大的响声，每跳一次都会痛上加痛。 第二天，两个孩子在吃午饭时吵了一架，被训斥了一顿后好不容易才安静下来。这时女佣送来了一封信，是写给尊敬的夫人的，要求马上给予回复。她发现是陌生人的笔迹，不胜讶异，急忙拆开信封。刚看了第一行字，她顿时脸色煞白，禁不住一跃而起，等到发现别人的神情不约而同地充满了惊讶，她不觉大惊失色，意识到自己的疯狂举止泄露了天机。 这封只有三行字的短信是可怕而不容拒绝的命令：“请立即交给送信人一百克朗。”没有署名，没有日期，笔迹显然经过了伪装。伊蕾娜跑进自己的房间拿钱，可忘记把钥匙放进了哪个抽屉里，她心急如焚地翻箱倒柜，最后总算找到了。她哆哆嗦嗦地将纸币折叠起来放进信封，亲自交到等在门口的那个仆人手里。她毫无意识地做完这一切，好像梦游一般，不容自己有任何犹豫的余地。等她重新回到房间里时，才过了差不多两分钟。 The room was silent.她缩手缩脚、战战兢兢地刚一坐下，便万分恐惧地发现，刚才打开的那封信竟然随手放在自己的盘子旁边。伊蕾娜像是遭了雷劈似的，她赶紧将举起的杯子放下来，同时急于想找到一个搪塞的借口。丈夫只要稍稍伸一下手，便完全可以将那个纸条拿过来，或许只要看一眼，就足以看清上面几行笨拙的大字。她一下子说不出话来，只是偷偷把纸条揉成一团。正当她将那个便条放进口袋的时候，抬眼一望，碰到了丈夫犀利的目光。这种折磨、严厉、痛苦的目光，她以前从没有在他那里看到过。只不过才几天工夫，他又突如其来地用这种猜疑的目光盯着她看了，她内心深处不禁感到毛骨悚然，真不知道如何应付才好。上回跳舞的时候，他就是用这种目光盯着她看的，昨天夜里像刀子一样在她梦里闪烁的也是这同一种目光。 难道他已经知情或者即将知情吗？是这件事使他如此敏锐，如此赤裸裸，如此坚强，如此痛苦吗？她绞尽脑汁想说出一句话来，就在这时她突然回想起一件早就忘却了的事来。丈夫有一次对她说过，律师在面对预审法官时有一个诀窍，就是在审讯期间像近视眼一样地仔细检查案卷，这样才能在提出一个真正关键性的问题时，闪电般地抬起眼睛，仿佛一把匕首突然刺入惊慌失措的被告的胸口，在这种闪电般的聚焦之下，被告就会失去镇静，无可奈何地放弃自己精心编造的谎言。难道丈夫现在真的要使用如此危险十足的诀窍，让自己的妻子成为牺牲品吗？她很清楚丈夫对心理学有着一种狂热，这种狂热远远超出了他的律师职业对心理学的需求标准，想到这一点，她吓得直打哆嗦。对一起犯罪案件进行跟踪调查、取得口供，就和其他人喜欢赌博或好色一样，他会全神贯注地参与其中，而在心理跟踪的那几天时间里，他的举止会和他的内心一样被烧得火热。他抑制不住的急迫心情，常会促使他在夜间搜寻到那些早已遗忘了的判决，于是从外表上看，他变得格外捉摸不定了。他饭吃得不多，酒也喝得很少，只是一根接一根地抽烟，也不怎么开口，仿佛要把话留到法庭上去说一样。她只在法庭上听过一次他做的辩护，后来就再也没见过那种场景，因为她当时真的被吓坏了。他那阴森可怕的激情，说话时那几近恶毒的热情，脸上那种阴郁而痛苦的表情，现在这一切她又突然在他那趾高气扬的眉宇和犀利的目光中发现了。 所有这些被遗忘的记忆都在这一瞬间重新浮现在她的脑海里，于是那本来一直想说出口的话就此打住了。她保持沉默，虽然越是感觉到这种沉默有多么危险，越是后悔自己如何错失了最后解释清楚的机会，她就越是感到张皇失措。她不敢再抬起眼来，可现在低头看时她感到更加恐怖，因为她看到，他平时镇定自若、从容不迫的双手，仿佛幼小的野生动物一样，在桌子上不停地移动。好在午饭快要吃完了，两个孩子一跃而起，嬉闹着冲进了隔壁房间，尽管家庭女教师想方设法压低他们放肆的声音，可还是徒然。这时丈夫也站了起来，迈着沉重的脚步，目不斜视地到隔壁房间去了。 好不容易有了一个人独处的时间，她重新掏出那封倒霉的信来，又一次匆匆浏览了一下上面的几行字：“请立即交给送信人一百克朗。”她满腔怒火地将信撕成碎片，然后把碎片揉成一团，想一把扔进废纸篓里，可她突然念头一转，又停了下来，弯身凑近壁炉，将纸团扔进了咝咝作响的炉火中。看着那白色火焰灿灿跳跃，贪婪地消灭了威胁，她这才安下心来。 就在这一时刻，传来了丈夫快走到门口的脚步声，她以迅雷不及掩耳之势跳了起来，炉火散射着余光，加之生怕被丈夫逮住，她满脸变得通红。敞开的壁炉门泄露了天机，她笨手笨脚地想用自己的身体挡住它。丈夫走近桌子，划了一根火柴点他的雪茄烟。火苗向他的脸靠近时，她好像看到他的鼻翼两旁在不停地颤抖，他生气的时候就是这个样子。丈夫心平气和地朝她这边看过来，“我只想提请你注意一点，你没有义务把你的信给我看。要不要在我面前保守秘密，完全是你的自由。”她没有出声，也不敢瞅他。丈夫等了一会儿，深深吸了一口雪茄烟，然后又将它从胸腔最里面吐出来，就缓缓地离开了房间。
The next morning, with her husband at the office and the children out for a walk, she finally had some alone time.Under the bright morning sun, after careful recollection, her fear of yesterday's terrible scene has been greatly weakened.In the first place, the veil was so thick that it was impossible for the man to see or re-recognize her facial features.She was calmly considering all precautions at the moment.In any case, it is impossible to go to the lover's house again, so that the sudden attack like yesterday's may be prevented.Although the danger of encountering the woman again still existed, the probability of this was very small, because she had slipped into the car at that time, and she could not have followed her all the time.The woman didn't know her last name or where her home was, and there was no need to worry that the man would be able to re-identify herself with confidence based on the blurred facial features.Even if she encounters the most extreme situation, Irena is already mentally prepared.When she was free from extreme fear, she decided that she must keep her composure, admit nothing, and calmly insist that it was all a misunderstanding, because no one but the woman who blackmailed her had accused her on the spot. Any evidence of a tryst.After all, Irena's husband is one of the most famous defense lawyers in the capital. She knew very well from the conversations between her husband and his fellow lawyers that any hesitation and turmoil on the part of the persecuted will increase the opponent's advantage. Their extortion could only get worse, swift and brutal. The first countermeasure she took was to write to her lover in a hurry, telling him that she would not be able to meet the date at the agreed time tomorrow, and she would not be able to do it in the next few days.When she read it through, she felt that this note, which she had written in disguised handwriting for the first time, had a cold feeling. She wanted to replace the unkind words with more intimate ones, but she remembered the unpleasant meeting yesterday , suddenly the anger was burning, and the lines between the lines unconsciously became as cold as ice.Her pride was bruised by the helpless discovery that she had been turned into a sleazy, degraded ex-girlfriend by her lover's pampering, and she looked at those words with hostility for this cold, vengeful way of herself. Feel really happy, because it's like telling the other person that going on a date depends to some extent on how she feels. This young man is a famous pianist, and Irena met him by chance at a party.Of course, this kind of gathering was limited to a very small area, but she herself didn't even think about it, didn't even understand how it happened, and soon became his lover.In fact, in her nature, she had no passion for him, and in his body, he had no sensual or spiritual interest in her.She committed herself to him not because she needed him or had a strong desire for him, but because she was too lazy to resist him, or because of a restless curiosity.There was no reason in her mind for needing a lover, she had neither the natural contentment of a happy marriage nor the loss of spiritual sustenance that women usually have.She was a happy woman, her husband was a rich man with more intelligence than herself, and there were two children at home. Although there was always a dull atmosphere, she lived a comfortable and peaceful life. Lazy and content.The atmosphere is as sensual as heat or wind, a bliss in the middle of hot and cold, which is more easily seduced than misfortune, and for many women their wantlessness and longing from despair Not being satisfied is just as dangerous.A full man is not necessarily better than a hungry man, and the comfortable and comfortable life makes her curious about romantic affairs.Nowhere in her life has she encountered resistance.Everywhere she meets is a tender side, and what is shown in front of her is meticulous care, tender love and respect from her family. She never expected that such a modest life would never be replaced by external objects. It is measured, because external objects always reflect only things that have no internal connection. From a certain angle, she feels that this kind of comfort and comfort deceives her real life. She had dimly dreamed of great love and ecstasy in her girlhood, but was paralyzed by the pleasant and quiet first years of marriage and the playful allure of first-time motherhood, and her dreams were now at the threshold of her infancy. When I was thirty, I started to wake up again.Like any woman, she had endowed herself with a capacity for great passion, but had not endowed her own experience with the will and the courage that is the willingness to pay the price of life for an affair.Just when she felt that she could not add luster to her satisfactory life, this young man, enveloped in a romantic and artistic atmosphere, walked into her small world.And men usually just make some harmless jokes, play some flirting games, respectfully call her "beautiful wife", never seriously regard her as a woman, so from her For the first time since her girlhood, she experienced that excitement in the depths of her heart.There was nothing about him that attracted her, except perhaps the shadow of sorrow on his too conspicuous face.She can't even distinguish this shadow clearly, just like his superb piano skills and his dejected meditation, it is actually a kind of training, and he practiced it in this meditation. improvised.She felt surrounded by bored middle-class people, and for her this melancholy was the imaginary higher world, the colorful world she had admired in books and romanticized. Appearing in a drama, she inadvertently crosses the boundaries of everyday emotion in order to see what happened.A compliment caused him to look up from the keys to give her a quick glance, which caught her heart just in time.The compliment came because she was overwhelmed by his playing at the moment, so it was perhaps more warm than polite.She was overwhelmed, and at the same time felt a thrill of overcoming all fears: everything seemed to be lit and heated by this secret fire during one of their conversations, which aroused her intense curiosity. Heart, so at a public concert, she met him again.Afterwards they met more frequently, and soon no need to rely on chance encounters.Although she had not hitherto had much of an astonishing taste in music, and had every reason to disregard his own, he assured her again and again that she was of utmost importance to him as a true confidant and advisor to the artist. The important thing is that it was such vanity that made her rashly agree to his proposal a few weeks later. He said that he hoped to play his latest work for her and only for her in his own home.Maybe this promise was just half-truth on his mind, but that day started with hugs and kisses and ended with her devotion, which surprised even herself.Her first feeling was that of fear at this sudden turn to the flesh. The mysterious fear surrounding this relationship suddenly disappeared, and the stimulated vanity and determination to refuse to return to her middle-class world for the first time, partly Easing her sense of guilt for her unintentional adultery.In the first few days her own infamy had terrified her with terror, and now her vanity had turned the terror into complacency, a mysterious excitement filled only for an instant with nervousness.Her instinct was quietly resisting this man, and what she resisted the most was the new things in his heart. In fact, it was this other kind of things that once aroused her curiosity.His outlandish attire, his wandering home like a gypsy, his irregular financial situation, which oscillated forever between luxury and misery, all repelled her bourgeois sensibilities.Like most women, she imagined the artist from afar as a romantic, polite in his dealings, radiant like a beast, but imprisoned behind the fences of civilization.The passion that used to run through her when he played became unsettling after being physically close to him, and she didn't like the sudden, condescending embrace that was self-righteous and reckless , and her husband's embrace, after all these years, still reveals the shy, adoring passion, and she unconsciously compares the two.But now, once she has been unfaithful to her husband, she goes to him again and again, and she is neither happy nor disappointed, just out of a certain sense of duty and that kind of habit Just lazy.A woman like her is not uncommon among frivolous women and even prostitutes, but her inner petty bourgeois habits are deeply rooted, so she will bring order to adultery, thrift and housekeeping to bohemian life, trying to wear patience. The masks mix the most outlandish emotions into everyday life.In a few weeks, she made this young man, her lover, adapt to her living habits in some details, just like her father-in-law and mother-in-law. She made it a rule to see him once a week, but herself I didn't give up my original life order because of this new relationship, but just added some color to my life to some extent.Her lover soon became a comfort machine in her life, adding something to her blissful existence, like a third child or a car, soon after , she felt that such an affair had become as banal as a reasonable enjoyment. Now, with the real price to pay for the affair—the risk—she was, for the first time, grappling with whether it was worth it.Due to the favor of fate, she was spoiled and raised since she was a child, and her family was rich and carefree, so she felt unbearable when she encountered such unhappiness for the first time.She immediately refused to make any sacrifices to her carefree inner world, and was willing to give up her lover without hesitation in order to satisfy a life of freedom.
The lover's reply letter was delivered by the postman in the afternoon, and he was obviously frightened, nervous and hesitant between the lines.His delirious pleas, lamentations, and complaints throughout the letter made her hesitant again to end the affair, as her vanity's desire was satisfied and her despair of him resumed. Get drunk.Her lover begged in the most urgent language to at least see her immediately, if he had really hurt her somewhere without knowing it, then at least he could figure out what he was guilty of.Now this new game enticed her to go on against him and make him pay for herself even more expensively by refusing for no good reason.She found herself in a state of excitement, and it was comforting to be surrounded by wild passions that she did not ignite herself, like all people who are cold at heart.She suddenly remembered a coffee shop where she once had a tryst with an actor when she was a girl.But now she thinks that meeting was childish and ridiculous, the actor respected her so much, but he didn't care so much.So she asked her lover to meet in that cafe.It was strange, she told herself, laughing to herself, that this kind of romance, which had withered like a flower years after her marriage, was blooming again in her life.Yesterday's disappointing encounter with that woman made her feel sincerely happy, and she re-experienced a long-lost strong feeling from it. This feeling was so exciting that her nerves that were easy to relax quietly trembled again . This time, she wore a discreet black dress and another hat in case the woman recognized her when they met.In order to prevent people from seeing her face clearly, she also prepared a veil, but a stubborn thought suddenly came to her mind, and she threw the veil aside.Had she, a respected and well-known wife, dared not go out into the streets for fear of some woman she did not know at all?And besides the fear of danger, there is a strange and alluring thrill in her heart, a kind of joy of being ready to fight, excited by danger, like fingers touching the blade of a sharp dagger or As if seeing the muzzle of a revolver, Death shies away from under the black scabbard or holster.In the horror of this adventure, her otherwise comfortable and safe life was gradually approaching something extraordinary again, like a game seduced her, it was a sensational event, and it was wonderfully tensing her at this moment. Her nerves, like electric sparks, flashed through her blood. A fleeting sense of dread passed through her only the moment she stepped out into the street.It's like putting your toes into the water tentatively before jumping into the waves, and you will feel yourself shivering nervously from the cold.But this shiver passed through her suddenly, and a strange joy of life was suddenly frozen in her heart. It was a desire to move forward in strides.Never before had her walk been so carefree and light and powerful.The cafe was so close that she even felt a little regretful, because at this moment a certain will drove her forward rhythmically, drawing her into that mysterious and fascinating adventure.Although she had set a very tight time for this meeting, she still had a good hunch in her heart that her lover should have been waiting there long ago.Sure enough, when he entered the shop, he was waiting for her in a corner, and when he saw her, he immediately jumped up excitedly from his seat. This scene made her feel both comfortable and unhappy.She had to remind him to keep his voice down, and because of his inner confusion and emotional agitation, he was eager to ask her questions and accuse her like a cannonball.But she did not give him any hint as to the real reason for not going to the appointment, but only played with some cryptic words, and this ambiguous attitude made him even more angry.Although she didn't agree to his request this time, she still began to hesitate about the previous decision, because she felt how angry this inexplicable and unexpected evasion and rejection made him.After half an hour of tense talk, she parted from him, without showing him the slightest tenderness or even the slightest hint, but with a strange burning feeling in her heart that she was a little girl. Emotions from time to time.She felt as if a small, exciting flame flickered deep within her, and all it took was a gust of wind to turn into a raging fire that would engulf her.She strode forward hastily, paying attention to every gaze shot at her from the alley, she did not expect that she had successfully attracted the attention of so many men, which aroused her strong curiosity Desiring to see her own face, she stopped suddenly in front of a mirror in the window of a flower shop, so that she could see her face in a frame of red roses and violets glistening with dew.Her eyes sparkled, and she looked into the window mirror, where she was so young, beautiful, and light-hearted, smiling contentedly at herself with her sensual lips half parted.She felt that when she stepped forward at this moment, her limbs seemed to become the wings of a bird, and she was about to fly.Her body broke the original calm rhythm of her steps because of the desire to get rid of the shackles, to dance, to be ecstatic.Now, as she was hurrying past St. Michel's, the sound of the bell calling her home, back to the bustling and orderly world, made her rather unhappy.Since she was a girl, she has never felt so relaxed and happy, and her senses have never been so full of vitality. Whether it is the first days after marriage or the embrace with her lover, there has never been a spark flashing through her heart. Body, now she wants to consume all these rare unencumbered, intoxicated sweet feelings in the body within the specified time, she finds this simply unbearable.She walked forward with all her strength, and when she reached the door of the house, she hesitated again and stopped still. She wanted to open her chest again and take a deep breath of fiery breath, reminiscing about that dazzling moment, Bear the last of the dying waves of this love adventure deep inside. Just then, someone touched her shoulder.She turned around unexpectedly, and suddenly saw that ugly face. "You...what else do you want to do?" She faltered in panic.When she heard herself say this fatal sentence, she felt even more frightened.She had originally planned that if she saw this woman again, she should pretend not to know her, deny everything, and question this extorting woman face to face...but it was too late now. "I have been waiting for you here for half an hour, Mrs. Wagner." Irena couldn't help being startled when she heard the woman call her name. It turned out that this person knew her name and where she lived.Now everything is over, she is doomed, and can only be at the mercy of others.Her mouth wanted to speak, and she carefully considered how to choose her words, but her tongue couldn't control her, and she couldn't make a word. "I have been waiting for you for half an hour, Mrs. Wagner." The man repeated it aggressively, as if reprimanding her. "What do you want... What else do you want from me..." "You know, Mrs. Wagner," Irene was startled when she heard her call her name again, "you know very well why I came here." "I've never met him...you're leaving me now...I'll never see him again...never..." The man waited leisurely until Irena was too excited to speak, and then said rudely as if ordering a subordinate: "Don't lie! I followed you to the cafe." Seeing Irena shrinking back, She added mockingly: "I don't have anything else to do. They fired me because it was a recession and there weren't that many jobs. You see, there are opportunities to take advantage of, so people like us Also go for a walk outside... just like a decent woman." Irena's heart was pierced by her cold and malicious words. This kind of blackmail was base and cruel.Irene felt powerless to resist, and the fear made her more and more uneasy, that this person might start shouting again, or that her husband would just pass by and it would all be over.She hastily put her hand into the muff, opened the wallet, took out all the money and held it in her hand, and touched the woman's hand in disgust, only to see the woman stretched out her hand slowly with a look of certainty on her face, He took his prey without hesitation. But this time, the shameless hand touched the money and did not put it down as it did last time, but stretched out motionless in front of Irena, like a sharp claw. "You might as well give me that purse too, so I don't lose the money!" she pouted sarcastically, accompanied by a chuckle. Irena glanced at her.The brazen, vile, cynicism in the woman's eyes was unbearable.Nausea seemed to pass through her entire body, and she felt a sharp pain.The only option is to leave, leave, as long as you never see this face again!Without avoiding it, she quickly handed over the priceless bag to the woman, and then walked up the stairs in a panic. Before her husband came home, she fell on the sofa and lay there motionless, as if hit by a hammer. She felt a violent convulsion throbbing through her fingers, gradually transferred to her arms, and finally It spread to the shoulders, and there was no strength in the body that could resist this sudden fear.It wasn't until she heard the sound of her husband coming back from outside that she pulled herself together and shuffled into another room in a daze.
Now the fear had taken root in her home and there was no way to dislodge it from the room.For many empty hours, waves of images of that terrible encounter rushed back into her memory, knowing full well that her situation was hopeless.She didn't understand how all this happened. Since that person knew her name and where she lived, and since he succeeded in the previous two times easily, she would undoubtedly use all means to blackmail her endlessly by using her identity as an insider. .That woman will definitely be like a mountain on her life path, and she will not be able to get rid of it for many years. Irene is desperate and feels that no matter how hard she tries, she will be useless. Although she is now rich and a rich lady, she still can't Get a lot of money without telling her husband.With this money, she can get rid of this person forever.And she knew from her husband's occasional accounts and various lawsuits that the contracts and promises of those old crafty and unscrupulous fellows were worth nothing.She calculated that she might be able to temporarily avoid the disaster for a few months, but her happy family would surely collapse in the future.What relieved her a little was that she was sure to drag this extortionate woman into the abyss of eternal doom.她使自己失去了平静的生活，整天陷于恐惧之中不能自拔，与这种苦不堪言的生活相比，对那个早该受到惩罚的邋遢女人来说，蹲六个月大牢又算得了什么呢？自己丧失了名誉，有了污点，现在必须重新开始一种新的生活，她觉得这是令人难以想象的，而在此之前的生活都是别人带给她的，她压根儿就没有掌控过自己的命运。后来她又想到她的孩子在这里，她的丈夫，她的家，所有这些东西，只有到了此时此刻，当她快要失去之时，她才感觉到其实它们早已成了她内在生活的一部分——核心部分。她先前觉得所有这一切是那么唾手可得，只要穿着一件裸露的衣服就可以轻易到手，可现在她突然觉得这样的日子真是弥足珍贵。有时候，她觉得这种想法匪夷所思，真的像梦一样不真实：一个陌生的流浪女人潜伏在不知道哪儿的大街上，竟然有权用一句话便能将一个温情脉脉的大家庭拆散。 现在她明白无误地感觉到灾难是不可避免的，逃脱是不可能的。可是会发生……会发生什么呢？她从早到晚都在想着这个问题。总有一天，一封信将抵达她丈夫的手上，她会看到他走进来，脸色苍白，眼神黯淡，一把抓住她的胳膊质问……那然后呢……然后会发生什么呢？他会做什么？在迷惘而残酷的恐惧黑暗中，画面突然在这里消失了。她不知道后面的结局，她的猜测在头晕眼花之中坠入无底的深渊。然而在苦思冥想中，有一点她也已经可怕地意识到了，那就是事实上她太不了解自己的丈夫，事先对他会做什么决定考虑得太少了。她是遵从父母之命和他结婚的，当初并没有任何不从的意思，经过这么多年，对他挺有好感，始终没有感到失望。到今天已经在他身边幸福甜美地生活了八个年头，为他生养了两个孩子，有了一个家，还有两个人无以数计的肉体相互温存的时刻。但是现在，当她自问丈夫会采取怎样的态度时，她才明白过来，丈夫在自己眼里完完全全是一个陌生人。她发疯似的回忆着，用幽灵一般的探照灯去搜索近几年的生活，她发现自己从未探究过他真正的本性，这么多年也不知道他究竟是一个冷酷无情的人，还是一个好说话的人，是一个严厉的人，还是一个温柔的人。她从这种必须严肃对待的生活恐惧中醒来，怀着一种迟来的负罪感，不得不承认自己了解到的仅仅是他流于表面的社会形象，却未曾了解到他内在的本质，而只有从他的本质中，她才可以探究出他在这种悲剧性的时刻究竟会做出怎样的决定。她不由自主地开始研究起那些细枝末节和暗示性的东西，开始思考假如碰到类似问题，他将在谈话时做出怎样的判断。可令她大感惊讶的是，她发现丈夫几乎从未对她表达过个人的观点，不过从另一方面看，她也从来没有提出过关于内心生活的问题来向他求教。现在她才开始从能够揭示其性格的个别特征中猜测他的整个人生，此刻她正满怀恐惧地拿起那把胆怯的锤子，敲击着每一个细小的回忆，寻找通往他心灵密室的入口。 现在她开始窥探他发表的每一个最细微的意见，心急如焚地期待他的到来。他几乎从不面对面地表达问候，但从他的手势看，比如他吻她的手或者用手指抚摩她的头发，她感觉到那种含情脉脉的存在，尽管她羞羞答答地害怕那些狂热的表情，但这种含情脉脉应该表示他内心深处是喜欢她的吧。他和她说话时总是从容不迫，永远不会烦躁不安或是兴奋激动，他的整个行为举止显出镇静而友善，可这与他对待仆人时的镇静和友善几无区别，这就让她有点惴惴不安，妄加猜测了。而与他对待孩子的态度相比，那种举止显然更加算不得什么了，孩子们到了他那里，他始终表现得很活跃，时而轻松愉快，时而兴致勃勃。他今天又是不厌其烦地询问家里的各种琐事，似乎是给她机会在他面前陈述她的兴趣，好把他自己的兴趣隐藏起来。现在通过对他的观察，她第一次发现丈夫对自己是那么体贴入微，他一直在努力以克制的方式适应她的日常谈话，她突然惊骇地认识到那些善意的谈话其实是多么枯燥无味。他在言辞方面没有透露任何心声，这使她那一颗渴望获得宁静的好奇心不免感到失望。 因为从他的话音里无法获取他的秘密，所以她只好研究起他的脸部表情来。此刻他坐在靠背椅上看书，他的周围被耀眼的灯光照亮了，她朝他的脸凝神望去，仿佛在看一张陌生的面孔。长达八年不痛不痒的夫妻生活将他的性格特征藏匿起来了，伊蕾娜正试图从既熟悉，又突然变得陌生的面部表情中发现他的这些特征。他的额头明亮如昼，气宇轩昂，令人感到一种内心强大的精神力量，但他的嘴唇却很严厉，没有任何顺从屈就的意思。一切都表现出他强有力的男子汉气概特征，精神抖擞，活力四射。她感到惊讶的是，她从丈夫脸上发现了一种俊美，她赞赏地观察那种尽力抑制着的严肃神情。对他本质中这种明显居高临下的姿态，她之前仅仅简单地将其解读为不苟言笑，但和社交辞令的滔滔不绝相比，她更喜欢这种些许的木讷寡言。而那双眼睛呢，想必能够隐藏他真正的秘密，却始终下垂着注视书本，不让她看明白。她只好一直以探询的目光凝视他的侧影，仿佛那一起一伏的线条代表一句话，要么宽恕你的罪孽，要么罚你下地狱。这张脸的轮廓显得有些陌生，它的冷酷令她大为惊骇，但它的坚毅让她第一次意识到一种引人注目的俊美。她猛然感觉到自己喜欢充满乐趣地看着他，并以此为豪。她在这种感觉清醒的时候，总好像有什么东西在拽着她的胸口，让她感到很痛苦，这是一种沉闷阴郁的感觉，一种差不多是感官方面的紧张不安，她遗憾自己错过了某些东西，永远难以想象从丈夫的肉体方面能得到类似的强烈感受。这时，他突然从书本中抬起头来望了望。她急忙转过身去，重新退回到深邃的黑暗中，不让他从她的眼神中看出那个迫切的疑问，以免引起他的怀疑。
已经有三天没离开自己的家了。她不快地发觉，自己这样突然大门不出，二门不迈，早已引起了他人的注意，因为通常而言，她很少接连几个小时或是几天待在自己的家里。她天生不是一个很会当家的人，经济上的充裕使她摆脱了对家庭境况的任何后顾之忧。因为整天在家感觉无聊，这个家无异于成了她来去匆匆的休憩地，而大街、剧院、社交协会那能够了解外部世界变化的各种聚会成了她最喜欢逗留的场所，因为这里的享受并不需要做出任何内心的努力，在遇到懵懵懂懂的情感时，所有的感官将会得到多种多样的刺激。就伊蕾娜的整个思维方式而言，她无疑属于维也纳有产阶层中优雅集团里的一分子。根据一种不成文的约定俗成，他们全部的日程安排似乎就在于，这个看不见摸不着的组织的每一个成员，要在同样的时刻，怀着同样的兴趣，迅即聚会在一起，并且把这个永远经得起对比的观察和会面逐渐升格为他们人生的意义。一旦一个人只依靠自己孤独地生活，那么这种习惯于懒散的公共生活将失去任何支撑，如果微不足道然而必不可少的感觉没有了熟悉的养料，所有感官将会起来造反，而独处将会骤然变成神经质的自我敌视，会没完没了地感觉时间压在自己的身上，没有了自己习惯的使命，流淌的时间也失去了任何意义。伊蕾娜在自己的房间里来回踱步，感到自己宛如置身于高墙之内，闲散无事、焦躁不安。大街、世界，那是她真正的生活，却不准她进入，那个敲诈勒索的女人却像个天使，带着一把闪闪发光的剑，气焰嚣张地站在那里。 两个孩子从一开始就注意到了她的变化，尤其是年龄稍大的男孩，看到妈妈老是在房间里待着，不免露出一副天真惊讶的神情。仆人们也开始窃窃私语，和家庭女教师一起议论他们的种种猜测。伊蕾娜竭力寻找各种各样的，部分是碰巧想到的非做不可的事来做，以说明她出人意料地待在家里是有正当理由的，可一切只能适得其反，恰恰是这种人为编造的解释暴露了她的秘密。这么多年对家务事不闻不问，她在原本属于自己的工作范围内成了一个毫无用处的人。凡是她想亲力而为的地方，总是会碰到外人的阻挠，他们将她突兀的尝试视为有悖常规的自以为是而加以拒绝。所有的空间都被人占领了，她本人因为不习惯而成了自己家庭组织里的异物，于是她不知道该如何打发自己，打发自己的时间。连和孩子们亲近，她也失败了，他们对她心血来潮的新管教方式表示怀疑。有一次，她试图看管他们，七岁的儿子竟然无礼地问她为什么最近不再外出散步，她羞愧得面红耳赤。她在哪儿帮忙，哪儿的秩序就会被打乱，她对哪儿产生兴趣，哪儿的人就会对她产生怀疑。可是她又缺乏那种技巧，无法采用明智而克制的方法让人不注意到她老是不出家门，或者无法平心静气地待在房间里，比如看看书，做点家务活。内心的恐惧不停地把她从一个房间驱赶到另一个房间，恐惧就像任何一个强烈的感觉一样，在她身上变成了神经质的东西。只要听到电话铃声或者门铃声，她马上会慌成一团，然后突然发觉自己总是躲藏在窗帘后面向大街窥望，如饥似渴地望着行人或者至少瞅一下他们的外貌，她向往自由的日子，可内心总是满怀恐惧，害怕从路过的众多脸中突然看到那张脸，那张脸已经跟踪到她的梦里去了。宁静甜美的生活已在顷刻间化为乌有，她沮丧地预测，随之而来的将是一种完全毁灭的人生，感到这三天蹲在这房间的高墙内，比她八年婚姻还要漫长。 可在第三天晚上，她接受了数周以来的第一次邀请，和丈夫一起参加聚会。现在，倘若无法说明充分的理由，她是不可能突然拒绝他的邀请了，再说这些看不见的恐怖栅栏如今已在她的生活周围筑起，总有一天必须砸断，她才不至于毁灭。她需要和人相处，需要用几小时的休息时间来摆脱自己，摆脱恐惧带来的自杀式的孤寂。那么还有什么比和朋友们一起待的陌生房间更安全的地方呢？还有什么比摆脱这种日常路途中的无形跟踪更可靠的地方呢？她离开家门，这是她和那个女人最近相遇之后第一次重新触摸大街。很可能那个女人就在哪个地方暗中守候着呢，她的内心颤抖了一下，尽管只是短短的一瞬间。她情不自禁地抓住丈夫的胳膊，闭上双眼，迅疾走了几步路，从人行道钻进一辆等候着的汽车里，直到她安全地依偎在丈夫的一侧，汽车“呼”的一声穿越夜晚孤寂的大街时，她心中的一块巨石才算落了地，而当她迈开脚步踏上陌生人家的楼梯，她才知道自己总算平安无事了。现在，她又可以像以往那样度过逍遥自在、快乐无比的几个小时，从监狱的高墙重新回到阳光普照的人间，这使她越发意识到自己的喜悦之情。这里是抗击任何跟踪的堡垒，憎恨是进不来的，这里只有喜欢她、尊重她和敬仰她的人，都是些打扮光鲜、心无恶意的人，他们的周围被无忧无虑的微红色火焰映射得熠熠生辉，那令人陶醉的轮舞今天终于又重新拥抱她了。因为她一进来，立刻从其他人的目光中感觉到自己很美，她也因为这种长时间缺乏的有意识的感觉而变得更美了。她始终感觉到有一把想象的锋利犁刀，徒劳无益地在她的脑子里耕了个遍，弄得她内心的一切伤痕累累，痛苦万分。现在，在经过多日的沉默之后，这是多么叫人愉快啊，能够重新听到那些恭维谄媚的话，就像一股电流活生生地传至她的皮肤，再流入她的血液，这是多么叫人舒心啊。她出神地待在那里，有种东西在她的胸间不安地颤动，想要跳出来。她突然意识到那是一种笑声，在被禁锢多时之后，现在终于要释放出来了。仿佛是香槟酒瓶口的软木塞“砰”的一声蹦了出来，随即发出一阵低沉的咕噜声似的，她不停地放声大笑，有时对自己放荡不羁的忘乎所以都有点难为情了，但马上又会纵情大笑起来。她放松的神经在放电，全身所有的感官都活跃起来，健康而兴奋，好多天以来第一次感觉自己真的饿了，她又开始尽情地享受起美食来，像一个渴极的人一样拼命畅饮。 她渴望和人相聚，渴望从各种生命气息和享乐中为干枯的心灵汲取养料。隔壁房间的音乐把她吸引住了，钻入她火热的皮肤深处。舞会开始了，她还没弄明白是怎么回事，便一头扎进熙熙攘攘的人群中。在她的一生中，她还从未这么跳过舞。舞池中不停地旋转将她身上的所有重负抛到了九霄云外，富有规律的音乐节奏不断地刺激着她的四肢，使她的身体充满火一样的活力。一旦音乐停下，她便会感觉寂静是一种痛苦，好像有一条不安生的蛇从她颤抖的四肢不停地向上蹿动，她如同在游泳池凉快的池水中歇息冷静了一番，然后又重新跳入旋转不停的舞池中。以往她是一个不显山不露水的舞伴，一招一式矜持而从容，冷酷而谨慎，可这一次，无拘无束的欣喜若狂消除了身上的所有顾虑。一条象征羞耻和镇静的铁丝原本可以将最疯狂的激情紧箍成一束，此刻也从中间裂开了。她感觉自己毫无理由地被完完全全融化在快乐之中，感觉自己周围被无数双手臂和无数双手紧紧搂抱住，相碰在一起，又悄然离开了。人们说话时的呼吸声，爆发出来的爽朗笑声，还有她血液里面颤动的音乐声，使她的整个身体充满渴望，身上的衣服好似在燃烧，她真想在不知不觉中将全部衣服扯下来，好让自己不加任何掩饰地、更深切地体会到这种欣喜若狂。 “伊蕾娜，你怎么了？”她踉踉跄跄地转过身去，眼里依然带着笑意，神情依然像被舞伴搂抱时那样热烈，然而丈夫讶异而呆滞的目光正冷酷无情地刺向她的心脏，她大吃一惊，难道是她太疯狂了吗？难道是她的狂热将什么东西暴露出来了吗？ “什么……你说什么，弗里茨？”她支支吾吾地问道，因为丈夫的目光令她大感意外，那目光透露出他斩钉截铁般的果断坚决，越来越深地射进她的心中，她现在完全能从内心，从内心深处感觉得到，她真想大吼一声。 “这可真稀奇啊。”丈夫终于喃喃说道，话语里含着隐隐约约的惊奇。伊蕾娜不敢问他究竟是什么意思，但现在他默不作声地转身离开，伊蕾娜看到他宽大的肩膀有力地坚挺起来，粗壮的脖颈显得更加顽强不屈。她的四肢禁不住打了个寒战，仿佛遇到了一个杀人凶手，这个寒战在她的脑子里一闪而过，只是一眨眼的工夫，马上又毫无影踪了。此刻，她仿佛第一次看到他，看到自己的丈夫，她惊恐万状，原来丈夫是如此强大而危险。 音乐再度响起，一位先生向她走来，她只是机械地拉住他的手臂，现在一切变得艰难起来，连欢快的旋律也无法抬起她那僵硬的身躯了。一种阴郁的重负从她的心脏落到了她的脚上，每跨一步都让她感到痛苦，她只好请求舞伴能够让自己稍事休息。往回走时，她不禁朝四下里张望，看看丈夫是否就在附近。她果真吓了一跳，因为丈夫就站在她身后的地方，仿佛在等她，他又是用那种赤裸裸的目光盯着她看。What does he want to do?难道他知道了什么事吗？伊蕾娜不由得提起自己的上衣，好像是要保护自己裸露的乳房不受他侵犯似的。他的沉默很顽固，一如他的目光。 “我们走吗？”她胆怯地问道。 “好。”他的声音听起来生硬而无情。他走在前面，她又看到了他盛气凌人的宽大脖颈。有人帮她披上皮大衣，可她还是觉得冷。他们并排坐在车里，彼此没有出声。伊蕾娜一句话也不敢说，她迷迷糊糊地感觉到一种新的危险，现在自己要受到两面夹攻了。
这天夜里，她做了一个令人窒息的梦。一种陌生的音乐响了起来，大厅宽敞而明亮，她走进去，各种各样的人和五彩缤纷的色彩同她的各种动作交织在一起。这时有一个男青年挤到她跟前，她觉得认识他，但又不能完全猜出是谁，他抓住她的胳膊，便和她跳起舞来。她感觉很舒服，很温馨，一种无与伦比的波涛般的音乐将她举了起来，她再也感觉不到大地的存在，于是他们跳着舞穿越了许许多多的大厅。那些大厅里的金色灯架挂得很高，仿佛天上闪烁的柔弱星光，紧挨着的许多面镜子向她投来各自的微笑，然后在没完没了的反射中重新将微笑投向远方。舞会越来越火爆，音乐也越来越热烈。她注意到那青年和自己贴得更紧了，青年的手埋在她裸露的胳膊下，她因为悲喜交集而叹息着，此刻，他们终于四目相对，伊蕾娜才觉得认出他来了。她想起他就是那个演员，自己还是小姑娘的时候曾经狂热地暗恋过他，她惊喜得正想说出他的名字来，青年却用一次狂吻堵住了她轻轻的呼唤。就这样，两张嘴合在了一起，两个身体相互燃烧变成了一个身体。他们像是被一阵风扛着似的，幸福地飞过那些大厅，一堵堵墙像退潮似的流走，她已经感觉不到那天花板在漂浮，只觉得这样的时刻有着说不出的轻松，整个四肢仿佛挣脱了锁链。就在这时，有个人突然碰了一下她的肩膀。她停住脚步，音乐也随之戛然而止，灯光也熄灭了，那一堵堵黑魆魆的墙拼命挤过来，她的舞伴也不见了踪影。“把他还给我，你这个小偷！”那个面目可憎的女人大吼道，吼叫的声音如此之大，墙壁随之发出尖锐刺耳的回响，然后那女人冰冷的手指夹住她的手关节不放。她奋力抵抗，听到自己在吼叫，那是一种惊恐的叫喊声，既抓狂，又刺耳。于是两个人开始扭作一团，但那个女人更厉害，拉下了她戴在脖子上的珍珠项链，同时把她的连衣裙扯下了一半，她的乳房和胳膊全都暴露在撕烂的衣衫外面了。忽然，那些人又回来了，随着嘈杂声越来越大，他们纷纷从各个大厅蜂拥而入，脸上满含嘲讽，目瞪口呆地盯着她俩看。她们俩一个半裸着身子，另一个在发出尖叫：“她抢我的男人，这个通奸的女人，这个妓女。”她不知道自己该往哪儿躲，眼神该往哪儿转，因为这些人越走越近，那一张张鬼脸充满好奇，大呼小叫，盯着她的裸露处看。此刻，她游移不定的眼神急于寻找脱身的地方，却突然看见丈夫一动不动地站在昏暗的门框内，右手藏在背后。她大叫了一声，为了逃脱他的视线，跑过了好几个大厅，目光贪婪的人群在她身后推推搡搡，她感觉自己的衣服越来越向下滑去，几乎拉都拉不过来了。这时，只听见“砰”的一声，一扇大门在她面前打开了，为了尽快脱身，她拼着小命冲下楼去，可又是那个下流女人，穿着羊毛裙子，伸出爪子似的双手等候在楼下。她一骨碌闪向一边，疯了似的向远处跑去，但那个女人马上追赶上来，就这样两个人在夜色中沿着寂静的长街追逐着，连街灯都俯下身子对着她们冷笑。她总是听到身后传来那个女人木鞋子的“啪嗒、啪嗒”声，但每当来到一个大街拐角的地方，那里又会重新跳出那个女人来，到下一个大街拐角处还是老样子。那女人总是先一步赶到那里，潜伏在所有的房子后面或者左右两边，伊蕾娜无法超越这个女人，感觉两膝已经不听使唤了。终于，她来到了家门口，立即向楼道里奔去，可当她打开房门时，她的丈夫就站在那里，手里拿着一把刀，用咄咄逼人的目光盯着她看。“你究竟上哪儿去了？”他闷声闷气地问道。“没到哪儿去。”她听见自己说道，可她的身边马上响起一阵刺耳的笑声。“我看见了！我看见了！”那个女人尖声大笑着说道，忽然又出现在伊蕾娜旁边。这时，丈夫举起刀来。“救命啊！”伊蕾娜吼叫道，“救命啊！”…… 她惊恐的两眼向上凝视，和丈夫的目光相遇在一起。这……这是什么地方？她在自己的房间里，吊灯发出微弱的光线，她躺在家里自己的床上，她只是在做梦而已。可为什么丈夫坐在她床边，像对待一个病人那样打量她呢？那盏灯是谁点上的？他为什么那么严肃地站在那里，一动不动，眼神呆滞？她吓得不停地抽搐着，不由得朝他的手看去，不，他的手里并没有拿着刀。渐渐地，她睡梦中的昏昏沉沉消失了，那闪电般的一幅幅景象也不见了。想必她是在做梦，梦里的大吼大叫把他给吵醒了。可他为什么那么严肃地看着她，那么揪心，那么无情？ 她强作微笑问道：“这……这究竟是怎么啦？你干吗那样看着我？我想我只是做了一个噩梦而已。” “是啊，你大声嚷嚷。我在另一个房间听到了你喊叫的声音。” 我叫嚷什么了？我是否泄露什么秘密了？他究竟知道什么了？她忧心忡忡，简直不敢再抬起头来面对他的目光。可他却低下头来，一本正经地注视着她，神色异常平静。“你怎么回事，伊蕾娜？你是发生什么事了吧。这几天你完全变了个人，像是发高烧了一样，神经过敏，心不在焉，怎么睡梦中还喊救命呢？” 她勉强笑了笑，但丈夫坚定地说道：“你不必向我隐瞒什么。你是有什么烦恼或者令人折磨的事吧？你变了样子，家里每个人都注意到了。你应该相信我，伊蕾娜。” 他轻轻地将身子贴近她，手指在抚摩着她裸露的胳膊向她示好，眼里闪耀着异样的光芒。就在丈夫对她的无比痛苦面露忧色的这一瞬间，伊蕾娜的心中突然产生了一种渴望，她真想把自己的身体贴到丈夫壮硕的身体上，紧紧地抱住他，向他坦白一切，就在此刻，在他正看到她无比痛苦的时候，直至他宽恕自己为止。 可吊灯发出的微光照亮了她的脸孔，使她害羞得无法说出这句话来。 “别担心，弗里茨。”尽管身体从头到脚都在颤抖不停，她还是尽力微微一笑，“我只是有点神经过敏吧，马上就会过去的。” 他的手刚才还在紧紧抱住她，这时却忽然抽了回去。只见丈夫在昏暗的灯光下面如死灰，因为心事重重而额头紧锁，此时此刻看到他这个模样，伊蕾娜不禁吓了一跳。丈夫慢慢地直起腰来，缓缓说道：“不知道为什么，我感觉你好像想要把这几天的事情跟我说，一件只是和你我有关的事情。现在就我们两个人在，伊蕾娜。” 她一动不动地躺在那里，仿佛被他这种严肃而蒙眬的目光催眠了一样。她觉得这是多么美好啊，现在一切都会好起来，她只需要说一句话，只是简短的一句话——原谅我吧，他就不会再问究竟是什么事了。可是那灯光为什么还亮着呢？那嘈杂、无礼、窃听的灯光！她感觉到若是在黑暗中，自己就会说出来的。可这种灯光让她丧失了勇气。 “那你真的……真的没有什么事情要跟我说吗？” 这种诱惑多么可怕啊，他的声音多么温柔啊！伊蕾娜从来没有听到他如此说过话。可是这灯光，这吊灯，这黄色的贪婪的灯光啊！ 她提起精神来朗声一笑，“你想到哪儿去了，”却被自己假惺惺的声音吓住了，“难道我睡不好觉，就该有什么秘密，就该有什么风流韵事吗？” 她直打寒战，可想而知这话听起来有多么虚情假意，她简直吓得魂飞魄散，不知不觉地将目光移向了别处。 “那好，晚安。”丈夫说得很简洁，口气很尖锐，那是一种迥然不同的声音，像是一种威胁，或者是一种恶狠狠的嘲笑。 说完，他熄了灯。伊蕾娜看着他的白色影子在门口消失，那影子无声无息，飘忽不定，像是夜里的一个幽灵，而当房门关上的时候，她感觉仿佛是一口棺材被合上了。她感觉世上所有的人都已经死去，空洞无物，只是在自己僵硬的身体里，心和胸在疯狂地碰撞，发出巨大的响声，每跳一次都会痛上加痛。 第二天，两个孩子在吃午饭时吵了一架，被训斥了一顿后好不容易才安静下来。这时女佣送来了一封信，是写给尊敬的夫人的，要求马上给予回复。她发现是陌生人的笔迹，不胜讶异，急忙拆开信封。刚看了第一行字，她顿时脸色煞白，禁不住一跃而起，等到发现别人的神情不约而同地充满了惊讶，她不觉大惊失色，意识到自己的疯狂举止泄露了天机。 这封只有三行字的短信是可怕而不容拒绝的命令：“请立即交给送信人一百克朗。”没有署名，没有日期，笔迹显然经过了伪装。伊蕾娜跑进自己的房间拿钱，可忘记把钥匙放进了哪个抽屉里，她心急如焚地翻箱倒柜，最后总算找到了。她哆哆嗦嗦地将纸币折叠起来放进信封，亲自交到等在门口的那个仆人手里。她毫无意识地做完这一切，好像梦游一般，不容自己有任何犹豫的余地。等她重新回到房间里时，才过了差不多两分钟。 The room was silent.她缩手缩脚、战战兢兢地刚一坐下，便万分恐惧地发现，刚才打开的那封信竟然随手放在自己的盘子旁边。伊蕾娜像是遭了雷劈似的，她赶紧将举起的杯子放下来，同时急于想找到一个搪塞的借口。丈夫只要稍稍伸一下手，便完全可以将那个纸条拿过来，或许只要看一眼，就足以看清上面几行笨拙的大字。她一下子说不出话来，只是偷偷把纸条揉成一团。正当她将那个便条放进口袋的时候，抬眼一望，碰到了丈夫犀利的目光。这种折磨、严厉、痛苦的目光，她以前从没有在他那里看到过。只不过才几天工夫，他又突如其来地用这种猜疑的目光盯着她看了，她内心深处不禁感到毛骨悚然，真不知道如何应付才好。上回跳舞的时候，他就是用这种目光盯着她看的，昨天夜里像刀子一样在她梦里闪烁的也是这同一种目光。 难道他已经知情或者即将知情吗？是这件事使他如此敏锐，如此赤裸裸，如此坚强，如此痛苦吗？她绞尽脑汁想说出一句话来，就在这时她突然回想起一件早就忘却了的事来。丈夫有一次对她说过，律师在面对预审法官时有一个诀窍，就是在审讯期间像近视眼一样地仔细检查案卷，这样才能在提出一个真正关键性的问题时，闪电般地抬起眼睛，仿佛一把匕首突然刺入惊慌失措的被告的胸口，在这种闪电般的聚焦之下，被告就会失去镇静，无可奈何地放弃自己精心编造的谎言。难道丈夫现在真的要使用如此危险十足的诀窍，让自己的妻子成为牺牲品吗？她很清楚丈夫对心理学有着一种狂热，这种狂热远远超出了他的律师职业对心理学的需求标准，想到这一点，她吓得直打哆嗦。对一起犯罪案件进行跟踪调查、取得口供，就和其他人喜欢赌博或好色一样，他会全神贯注地参与其中，而在心理跟踪的那几天时间里，他的举止会和他的内心一样被烧得火热。他抑制不住的急迫心情，常会促使他在夜间搜寻到那些早已遗忘了的判决，于是从外表上看，他变得格外捉摸不定了。他饭吃得不多，酒也喝得很少，只是一根接一根地抽烟，也不怎么开口，仿佛要把话留到法庭上去说一样。她只在法庭上听过一次他做的辩护，后来就再也没见过那种场景，因为她当时真的被吓坏了。他那阴森可怕的激情，说话时那几近恶毒的热情，脸上那种阴郁而痛苦的表情，现在这一切她又突然在他那趾高气扬的眉宇和犀利的目光中发现了。 所有这些被遗忘的记忆都在这一瞬间重新浮现在她的脑海里，于是那本来一直想说出口的话就此打住了。她保持沉默，虽然越是感觉到这种沉默有多么危险，越是后悔自己如何错失了最后解释清楚的机会，她就越是感到张皇失措。她不敢再抬起眼来，可现在低头看时她感到更加恐怖，因为她看到，他平时镇定自若、从容不迫的双手，仿佛幼小的野生动物一样，在桌子上不停地移动。好在午饭快要吃完了，两个孩子一跃而起，嬉闹着冲进了隔壁房间，尽管家庭女教师想方设法压低他们放肆的声音，可还是徒然。这时丈夫也站了起来，迈着沉重的脚步，目不斜视地到隔壁房间去了。 好不容易有了一个人独处的时间，她重新掏出那封倒霉的信来，又一次匆匆浏览了一下上面的几行字：“请立即交给送信人一百克朗。”她满腔怒火地将信撕成碎片，然后把碎片揉成一团，想一把扔进废纸篓里，可她突然念头一转，又停了下来，弯身凑近壁炉，将纸团扔进了咝咝作响的炉火中。看着那白色火焰灿灿跳跃，贪婪地消灭了威胁，她这才安下心来。 就在这一时刻，传来了丈夫快走到门口的脚步声，她以迅雷不及掩耳之势跳了起来，炉火散射着余光，加之生怕被丈夫逮住，她满脸变得通红。敞开的壁炉门泄露了天机，她笨手笨脚地想用自己的身体挡住它。丈夫走近桌子，划了一根火柴点他的雪茄烟。火苗向他的脸靠近时，她好像看到他的鼻翼两旁在不停地颤抖，他生气的时候就是这个样子。丈夫心平气和地朝她这边看过来，“我只想提请你注意一点，你没有义务把你的信给我看。要不要在我面前保守秘密，完全是你的自由。”她没有出声，也不敢瞅他。丈夫等了一会儿，深深吸了一口雪茄烟，然后又将它从胸腔最里面吐出来，就缓缓地离开了房间。