Chapter 15 Part Fourteen: On Filial Piety

Confucius lost his father when he was young, so he basically had no chance to honor his parents.Therefore, Confucius lacked practice in honoring his parents.Most of his understanding of filial piety comes from Zhou Li.Therefore, although Confucius emphasized filial piety, there are not many remarks on filial piety, and there is nothing special about it. For his sons and grandchildren, Confucius rarely taught them filial piety. The Master said: "Students, when you enter, you will be filial, when you leave, you will be fraternal, be sincere and trustworthy, love everyone, and be kind. Confucius said: "Students should be filial to their parents when they are in front of their parents; when they go out, they must obey their teachers, be cautious in their words and deeds, be honest and trustworthy, keep few words, love everyone extensively, and get close to those who are benevolent. In this way After practice, if there is still energy left, then go to learn cultural knowledge.”

This passage is actually a code of conduct that Confucius gave to the students, telling everyone to respect their teachers, unite and avoid conflicts, and only when these are done well can they learn knowledge.This passage cannot be said when recruiting students, otherwise everyone will not have the confidence to sign up when they see that they have to do so much to learn. Honoring parents is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation. It is indeed a virtue and should not be abandoned. The Master said: "When the father is alive, watch his aspirations; when his father is gone, watch his actions. If you do not change from your father's way for three years, you can be called filial piety."

Confucius said: "When his father is alive, observe his ambition (because he can only obey his father in specific matters); after his father dies, observe his behavior. He will not change within three years. What my father did during his lifetime, such a person can be said to be filial." If you don't change your father's behavior for three years, why must it be three years?Because of serving filial piety for three years, during these three years, it should be treated as if the father is still alive, and don't go against the will of the father.After three years, you can implement your own ideas.

This sentence is related to 10.12 (19.18). The person Confucius mentioned is Meng Zhuangzi. Society is completely different and this standard simply doesn't exist anymore. The Master said: "If you have not changed your father's way for three years, you can be called filial piety." Ditto. slightly Meng Yizi asked about filial piety.The Master said: "There is no violation." Fan Chi Yu, the Master told him: "Meng Sun asked about filial piety to me, and I replied, there is no violation." Fan Chi said: "What do you mean?" Propriety; death, buried with propriety, sacrificed with propriety."

Meng Yizi asked what filial piety is, and Confucius said, "Filial piety means not to violate the propriety." Fan Chi drove Confucius, and Confucius told him, "Meng Sun asked me what filial piety is, and I answered him that he should not violate the propriety." Fan Chi said, "" What does it mean not to violate rituals?" Confucius said: "When parents are alive, they should be served according to the rituals; after their death, they should be buried and sacrificed according to the rituals." This is again the concept of the rule of law that Confucius was promoting, and everything should be based on etiquette.When Meng Yizi asked about filial piety, Confucius' answer was "no violation". It is estimated that any question Meng Yizi got from Confucius would be "no violation".It happened that Fan Chi was driving, and Confucius taught him a trick. Who knew that Fan Chi's understanding was not enough, so the teacher had to explain it.

No violation means not to go against the will of the father, but not to go against the rituals of Zhou.If there is a multiple-choice question for Confucius, if there is a conflict between the will of the father and the rituals of Zhou, which one should we obey?Confucius generally said that he would rather go against his father's last wish than go against the rituals of Zhou. In fact, what Confucius meant was not filial piety, but propriety. Now that there is no ritual for us to "do nothing wrong", how can we be honoring our parents?There are no rules, just rely on your conscience.When parents are alive, they care about their parents and take care of them.Parents passed away, every Qingming sacrifice to them, miss them.

Uncle Meng Wu asked about filial piety.The Master said: "Parents only worry about their illness." Meng Wubo asked Confucius about filial piety.Confucius said: "To your parents, you should be especially concerned about their illness. (This is considered filial piety.)" Meng Wubo was the son of Meng Yizi. When his father was in poor health, he came to ask Confucius about his filial piety. Of course Confucius answered him in this way. The relationship between the Meng family and Confucius has always been relatively good. There are two reasons for this. One is that Meng Xianzi, the father of Meng Yizi and Nangong Jingshu, told his two sons to learn from Confucius before his death. The other is that Nangong Jingshu was a student of Confucius and Nephew and son-in-law.

When parents get old, they need to pay special attention to their health.At this time, the body's resistance is weak, so don't be careless about any minor illness.Sometimes parents feel uncomfortable and don’t tell their children because they are afraid to trouble their children, so the children have to ask and observe more. Difficult sex?Is color really difficult?Nowadays, it is popular to recognize godfather and goddaughter, godfather is Mercedes-Benz BMW Beijing meeting, goddaughter LV Hermes Qi B short skirt, is it difficult to look?How can a goddaughter honor her godfather?More on that later.

Ziyou asked about filial piety.The Master said: "Today's filial piety means being able to raise them. As for dogs and horses, they can both be raised; if they are disrespectful, why is it different?" Ziyou asked what filial piety is. Confucius said: "The so-called filial piety nowadays is only enough to support parents. However, even dogs and horses can be raised. If you don't care about filial piety, then what is the difference between caring for parents and raising dogs and horses?" Woolen cloth?" Ziyou was the favorite student of Confucius, probably Confucius had higher requirements on Ziyou, and his explanations were more in-depth.

Roughly, this is when the master and the apprentice are discussing a certain person. Ziyou thinks that this person has reached the level of filial piety, but the teacher thinks that he needs to delve into the heart of this person.However, it can also be seen from this passage that the society at that time was not very good in respecting parents. For parents, we should not simply support them, but also respect them from the heart.People tend to be confused and stubborn when they are old. If it is not a big issue of principle, don't argue with them.Even if disputes are sometimes necessary, a soft approach should be taken.

Zixia asked about filial piety.The Master said: "Sex is difficult. If there is something to do, the disciple will do his work; if there is wine and food, the husband will eat. Did you ever think that you are filial?" Zixia asked what is filial piety (to the teacher), Confucius said: "The key is attitude. When there is work, the disciple will do it for the teacher; ?" In terms of content alone, this paragraph is exactly the same as the previous paragraph, that is to say, whether it is filial piety to parents or teachers, the most important thing is inner respect. When people are old, they tend to be suspicious.In his later years, Confucius always suspected that his disciples did not respect him enough, especially the successful people headed by Ran You, so he always emphasized everyone's attitude towards him. In the aspect of filial piety, attitude is more important than money.When people are old, they don't have high requirements for food and drink, and they are very worried about whether they will become a burden to their children, so they pay special attention to their children's attitude.People tend to get confused when they are old, and sometimes they nag. At this time, children should be patient and don't show embarrassment to their parents. The Master said: "I have been admonished by my parents a few times, but I will not follow my will, but I will respect you without disobedience, and I will work without complaining." Confucius said: "To serve your parents, (if your parents have something wrong) you should persuade them tactfully. (You have expressed your opinion) Seeing that your parents don't want to obey, you still have to respect them, don't disobey them, and work hard for them without resentment." Such a statement is of course reasonable, and we must pay attention to our attitude towards our parents, especially when our parents are old.If it's not a matter of principle, don't argue with your parents.Even if it is very important, if you can let it go, let it go, there is no need to fight with your parents for a result. Anyway, don't force it. The Master said: "Parents are here, if you don't travel far, you must travel well." Confucius said: "Parents are alive, and they are not far away from home; if they have to travel far, they must have a certain place." It is conceivable that after finishing the first half sentence to his disciples, Confucius regretted it very much. Why?Because so many disciples traveled around the world with him, aren't they all unfilial sons?So many foreign and even foreign students who are studying here, should they pack their bags and go home?Therefore, Confucius quickly answered the second half of the sentence "You must have a way".Haha, Confucius is very alert. Confucius slipped his tongue, the key point is that he did not have the experience of being a son. Later, there was a saying called "A good man has ambitions in all directions", which is basically a criticism of Confucius. Western culture does not pay attention to this point, and with the development of transportation and communication, the problem mentioned by Confucius is basically not a problem.As for traveling in a proper way, except for wandering, of course everyone is in a proper way.However, no matter how far you go, you should always report to your parents that they are safe. The Master said: "You must not know the age of your parents. One is for joy and the other for fear." Confucius said: "You must know the age of your parents and always remember them in your heart. On the one hand, you are happy for their longevity, and on the other hand, you are afraid of their aging." Confucius talked about filial piety, one hammer in the east and the other in the west, believe in the horse and let the rein go, and do whatever you want. Seemingly small things, in fact, not small, often give parents a surprise, they will be very happy.For example, cooking a bowl of noodles on your parents’ birthday, even though it’s a small matter, your parents care about your thoughts.