Chapter 28 preamble

courage.In any language, the word has a special tone that comes from the reverent manner in which it is pronounced.courage.A word that evokes the memory of great deeds and heroes, the awe-inspiring faces of those who guarded the city walls in the face of the goblin raids;In many great cities of the Realms, orphans roam the streets, fatherless and homeless.They have unique courage and stubbornly fight against the predicament of body and mind. I imagine Artemis Entreri struggled with that in the muddy lanes of Calimport.In a way, of course he won.Overcome all visible obstacles and rise to a rank of astonishing power and authority.

Artemis Entreri, on the other hand, was undoubtedly defeated.I often think, what would he be like if his heart hadn't been corrupted?However, I don't confuse my curiosity with pity.Entreri had no fewer choices than I did.He could have overcome adversity physically and mentally. I considered my courage and selflessness when I left Mithral Hall determined to end the threat to my friends.I thought I was making the ultimate sacrifice for my dear friends. When Catti-brie stepped into my cell at Baenry's house, when I saw her beautiful figure through half-closed eyes, I knew the truth.I did not understand my motives when I left Mithril Hall.Filled with nameless bruises, I couldn't see the meaning of my resignation.I was not brave when I walked down the Underdark, because deep down I thought I had nothing left to lose.I didn't allow myself to mourn Wulfgar, the emotional emptiness robbed me of the desire and faith to put things right.Brave and strong people never give up hope.

Likewise, it wasn't an act of heroism that Artemis Entreri followed Catti-brie to my rescue.He had acted out of sheer self-abandonment, and if he remained in Menzoberranzan he would be doomed.Entreri's purposes had always been entirely self-interested.Judging from his rescue attempt, he made a wise choice: leaving with me was his best chance of surviving.The rescue was the conclusion of calculation, not heroism. The moment Catti-brie stormed out of Mithril Hall in pursuit of her foolish drow friend was indeed beyond mourning for Wulfgar.Catti-brie is still haunted by grief, and her actions are driven only by loyalty.She would lose everything, and step into the wild Underdark alone for a friend.

The first time I looked into her eyes in the dungeon of Baenry's house, I gradually understood all this.I gradually understood the true meaning of the word courage. And I, the moment Wulfgar fell, understood what passion is.I fought like a hunter, tyrannical and ruthless, until I looked again at my loyal friend with the eyes of a warrior.No more bowing down to doom, no longer taking Baenry's sacrifice of me—my heart to Rose—for granted. In the dungeons, medical potions healed my frail limbs and Catti-brie's stern gaze healed my heart.I vowed to fight, to fight against the powerful, and never cease.

When I saw Catti-brie, I remembered all that I had lost. — Drizzt Do'Urden