Chapter 10 Chapter 9 Confidence

Although Jiang Miao's appearance was beyond Guan Yeping's expectations, she did not affect his life.It's just like throwing a small stone into a calm lake, causing a small ripple.But for Guan Yeping, after all, unreasonable troubles have been added to his emotional world. After experiencing the trauma of love, Guan Yeping became more free and easy, and he devoted himself wholeheartedly to the cause of the Tibetan people.Before the winter of the following year, according to the instructions of the central government, the Tibet Autonomous Region decided to return the cadres who aided Tibet to their hometowns to rest for three months.The cadres who returned to the province returned in three batches.Among this group of cadres who aided Tibet, Guan Yeping was the youngest and the only unmarried young man.He stayed to finish some work that should not be delayed, and then left Lhasa alone by train.Arrive in Xi'an three days later, and then board the train going south.On the train, I met two female college students from Xi'an Jiaotong University who were on winter vacation. Their seats were facing him across the coffee table.Among them, the female student sitting by the window is wearing a ponytail, her black hair is shining brightly, her skin is rosy, like a ripe peach, and a layer of fluffy fluff makes people feel that the youth of a girl is shining. The oval-shaped The features on the face are very delicate, and Gu Panjian's eyebrows and eyes are full of charm.He was wearing a small purple floral padded jacket, and a light pink cashmere scarf was casually draped around his neck.

Every movement of the female students is very dignified and decent.When she rested her chin with one hand and stared out of the window, it was like a beautiful oil painting. Guan Yeping didn't pay attention to the chaotic and noisy passengers. It wasn't until the train spewed out white mist and ran from the Loess Plateau to the North China Plain that the passengers gradually calmed down.The waiters on the bus enthusiastically brought boiling water to the passengers.At this time, the female student stood up and loaded her luggage from the luggage rack above her head. The luggage was too heavy and she couldn't move it at once.Guan Yeping stood up and reached out to pull out her bag. She took the bag and took out the cup from it. Guan Yeping helped her put the bag back in its original place.They cooperated so tacitly in all this, they didn't even say a word, just heard her say "thank you".Smiling slightly, he glanced at her inadvertently. At that moment, for some reason, his heart beat wildly, and he hurriedly avoided her sight, afraid that his irrepressible embarrassment would reveal some frivolity.He lowered his head and didn't dare to raise his head for a long time. He suddenly felt that she looked like Jiang Miao.Yes, she is as beautiful as Jiang Miao, and has the same beautiful appearance as Jiang Miao.He tried to keep the thoughts out of his mind.At this moment, the conductor who delivered the boiled water came over. She took a glass of water and said to him, "Where's your glass? Drink some water!"

Confused, he stood up and reached into his bag to take out the cup.He didn't dare to look at her, but she took his glass, the conductor poured the water, she put the glass gently in front of him, and said, "Where are you going?" He still lowered his head, holding the teacup with both hands on purpose, and said in a low voice, "Go to Jingning." She said excitedly: "Me too, let's go together. Where are you from?" His mood calmed down a lot. Facing this girl from his hometown, he raised his head and said, "I graduated from East China University and was assigned to work in the Youth League Committee of Jiangsu Province. Afterwards, I was approved to aid Tibet, and now I am going back to Jingning for vacation." Answer the topic she didn't ask in one breath.

She exclaimed in surprise: "Ah! The cadres aiding Tibet are really amazing!" He looked at this innocent female college student, and thought that he was so innocent and carefree two years ago.Now leaving that happy campus and embarking on this sinister life, especially being abandoned by Jiang Miao because of his aid to Tibet, it cannot be said that it was not a cruel blow to his life.How nostalgic the student days are!How desirable! Jianghai Province is a large province with developed economy and culture, and its capital is Jingning City.This ancient and well-known metropolis, since the reform and opening up, Jingning's science and technology is making great strides forward, and high-tech talents continue to emerge.In order to further strengthen the construction of Tibet, the central government decided that Jianghai Province and the Tibet Autonomous Region should become sister provinces.In addition to providing economic and cultural support, it also regularly dispatches a certain number of cadres to aid Tibet.

She looked at the young man in front of her and said, "I'm from Xi'an Jiaotong University and I'm graduating soon. My name is Fang Lan. If I'm allowed, I'll also apply for aid to Tibet!" He shook his head and said, "You? A girl, no, no..." She opened her slender eyes wide and asked, "Why?" He smiled slightly, with a bit of bitterness on the corner of his mouth: "Girl..." She retorted: "What's the matter with girls? You are young, and you still favor boys over girls! You have a lot of feudal thinking!" He was a little embarrassed. In fact, he was saying something casually, but she became so serious.He hurriedly smiled and said, "No, no, that's not what it means."

She said: "It's just casual talk. Is your home in Jingning City?" He said: "When I was very young, my father passed away. During the three years of natural disasters, my mother took me and my brother. That winter, it was really impossible to survive, and my mother took us two brothers to my uncle in Zhejiang. Unexpectedly, I lost my elder brother who was less than 7 years old on the way. So far, I have only been dependent on my mother for these years." A look of pity suddenly appeared on her face. The tall young man in front of her had a formidable heroism, crouching silkworm eyebrows, cocoon-shaped eyes, deep gaze, a square forehead, and jet-black hair. Her heart, the girl's heart, was instantly melted by the temperature of emotion.She suppressed her feelings: "May I ask your name?"

"Don't care about your surname, and your name is flat." "Guan Yeping, Guan Yeping!" She repeated to herself. He repeated her name in his heart: Fang Lan.But no sound came out.She thought for a while and said, "My mother now lives alone in the countryside. This winter, the cadres who aid Tibet will take a three-month vacation. I will go home and spend time with my mother." Their conversation came to an end. The night was already very deep, and the train dragged its snake-like body, breaking through the frigid air in the north, and galloping in the dark.The wheels made a rhythmic sound, and most of the passengers in the carriage fell asleep.

Fang Lan leaned against the corner of the seat and the window and fell asleep. After walking for two days and two nights, the train arrived in Jingning.Guan Yeping helped Fang Lan carry her luggage out of the station. He said: "Student Fang Lan, let me take you to the car! I'm going to visit the work unit and return to my hometown in two days." Fang Lan seemed to be facing a familiar friend, but she felt a sense of parting.She handed Guan Yeping a piece of paper: "This is the address of my school and my home." She got into the car and looked at the young man who was waving to her, as if the young man possessed a kind of magical power, and he attracted her to him effortlessly.His hearty conversation and unrestrained heroism appeared in her mind.For some reason, she wanted to explore the mysteries of him more and more!

Not long after Fang Lan returned home, she received a letter from Guan Yeping. It was a very ordinary and short letter.And she saw a young man's heart from this letter.She immediately sent her a letter back, and to Guan Yeping's surprise, it was not a letter, it was simply a wonderful lyrical prose.Reading this letter is indeed a wonderful literary enjoyment. He secretly admired: "The talented woman is simply a genius! A rare woman with both talent and beauty!" In this way, Hongyan drew the two admiring hearts closer and closer.Since Fang Lan met Guan Yeping on the train, a stubborn forbidden zone in her heart was hit, and the fire of love ignited her soul.The pure, passionate, shining phoenix eyes have added to this divine light ever since.

Fang Lan graduated, and because of her fluent and handsome prose, chic calligraphy, and her superb memory, she was selected by a magazine in Jingning. In the winter of the third year in Tibet, Guan Yeping returned to Jingning for vacation and married Fang Lan. The appearance of Jiang Miao made Guan Yeping have a lot of memories of the past.He felt that his maturity began when Jiang Miao gave him an emotional blow.The four years of training and growth in Tibet made him understand many, many truths of life.Many years ago, he once said that if one day he could become the secretary of the county party committee, he would walk all the way to take office in low clothes like Zheng Banqiao became the county magistrate of Weixian County in Shandong, understand the suffering of the masses, and create a miracle!Unexpectedly, now he has become the secretary of the municipal party committee. He wants to realize his long-cherished wish back then, and he wants to become an upright official in the eyes of the common people!

He remembered that the famous poet Ai Qing wrote in "On Poetry": If life is just a hasty passerby, wandering in the world for a while... If you only want food and clothing for the rest of your life, say hello to some people... Nothing is understood, nothing is revealed... Has not been slandered by anyone, and has not slandered anyone... Regarding what I saw, what I heard, and what I touched, I didn't express a single opinion... Dying, with no last words for a world that will never return, can you not feel empty and sad? Since ancient times, "officials" have loyalty and treachery, and there are voicing.How to be an "official"?There is no one-size-fits-all model; how to walk the road, you must first explore by yourself and forge your own path. How he spent this night, he couldn't tell clearly.The brain cells were extremely active, and he tossed and turned all night without getting any sleep. At eight o'clock in the morning, Liu Bing accompanied Lan Xiaoping.The conversation was over quickly. Guan Yeping said to Liu Bing: "Minister Liu, the Municipal Commission for Discipline Inspection, the Procuratorate, the Audit Bureau's personnel, and Zou Zheng from the patrol team, each designate a person in charge, and must rush to Yinan County before dinner tomorrow. I He and Comrade Lan Xiaoping are one step ahead, they need to talk to Wang Dengsheng, and the four sets of teams need to hold a meeting to let Lan Xiaoping take over the work at the same time as soon as possible. At the same time, we must arrange the board and lodging of these comrades." Guan Yeping still left Nanzhou by bus with Lan Xiaoping. Lan Xiaoping is two years older than Guan Yeping, the age of youth and strength.He is of medium stature, of moderate build, with a cropped head, thick eyebrows and big eyes, and thick lips.There is a conspicuous brown mole on the chin.After graduating from technical secondary school, he went to the cadre class of Agricultural University.Worked as an agricultural technician, organizational section chief, township party secretary, and deputy county magistrate in the commune.When Guan Yeping met him for the first time, the impression he gave from the conversation was that it was real.Of course, Lan Xiaoping's attitude towards the new municipal party secretary is indeed very cautious.He didn't understand how he was chosen as the acting secretary of the county party committee of Yinan County because the new municipal party secretary hadn't arrived yet. After getting on the bus, Guan Yeping said: "Xiaoping, I have never been a high-ranking official, and I don't know how to preach, so it's very simple for me to talk to you. The official, whether it's a high-ranking official or a small official, doesn't depend on which one A person can become a good person with a few words of lectures. I think it mainly depends on one's knowledge, cultivation and understanding. Summarize life by yourself and realize the true meaning of how to become an official. Do you think so?" Lan Xiaoping said thoughtfully: "Secretary Guan, we both have the same ideas. I don't like to bring that stereotyped tone to the officialdom. Whether it's for superiors, subordinates, or the masses, the most important thing is to I treat each other with sincerity. To be honest, if it weren’t for the special background in Yinan, I would have quietly visited the people for a few days before taking office. I once thought that the inauguration ceremony of officials of all sizes is really a It’s superfluous! Or put on airs!” Guan Yeping patted Lan Xiaoping on the shoulder and said, “Well said! We need cadres like you.” "Currently, bureaucracy and corruption coexist in the officialdom. People say: 'Set the tone before the meeting, arrange seats at the meeting, read the manuscript during the meeting, and pick up chopsticks after the meeting.'"Shake hands before the meeting, raise your hand at the meeting, Clap your hands after the meeting, and don’t do anything after the meeting.’ The masses hate the bureaucratic style of leading cadres. It should be said that these jingles are very vivid portraits of a few people. The masses also said, ‘He said on the stage, and he was said on the stage’. Yes Ah! There is an impassioned gentleman on the stage, but the offstage has become a villain with inconsistent words and deeds." Lan Xiaoping still had a lot to say, but seeing Guan Yeping's face was livid, he didn't say any more. Guan Yeping pondered for a while, then suddenly asked, "Which unit is your wife in?" This very ordinary conversation made Lan Xiaoping sensitive, knowing that the secretary of the municipal party committee had something to say.This time the municipal party committee appointed him as the acting secretary of the Yinan county party committee, it is impossible not to involve his family, as well as his love and marital conflicts and entanglements.Lan Xiaoping hesitated for a while and said: "Secretary Guan, the most difficult thing for me these years is the relationship problem. Probably this problem will trouble me for the rest of my life. I have nothing else to ask, but I hope there is someone who can understand me." He looked Looking out the car window, the boundless thoughts surfaced painfully in front of my eyes. It was 1980. Lan Xiaoping graduated from an agricultural school and was assigned to Houdang Commune in Xuhuai County as an agricultural technician.Lan Xiaoping, who is young, capable and personable, has a bright future in his heart.A year later, when he asked to join the party, Hao Xiuping, the daughter of the township party committee secretary Hao Qingda, took a fancy to him.And Lan Xiaoping already has a sweetheart - his classmate Xue Lizhen.Although they were separated by hundreds of miles when they graduated and assigned, the fruits of love had already matured. One day, Hao Xiuping's younger brother came to find Lan Xiaoping, saying that his father had something to do with Lan Xiaoping.Of course, it is quite normal for the party secretary of the commune to find an agricultural technician.Lan Xiaoping didn't dare to neglect, and immediately came to the secretary's office and bedroom.When the outside door was ajar, Lan Xiaoping opened the door and entered the room, and called Secretary Hao softly, but no one answered.There was only a gap in the door leading to the room. At this moment, Hao Xiuping's younger brother entered the room and said, "Please go in!" Lan Xiaoping hesitated for a moment and pushed the door open to enter the room.Hao Xiuping's younger brother immediately backed out and closed the gate.It was autumn. When Lan Xiaoping looked up, there was a person on the bed covered with a towel. He thought Secretary Hao was sick, so he walked to the bed and asked in a low voice, "Secretary Hao, what's wrong with you?" The towel was slowly taken off, and a woman's smooth shoulders appeared in front of her eyes. Lan Xiaoping was so frightened that she was caught off guard and panicked for a moment, not knowing what to do.Hao Xiuping grabbed Lan Xiaoping and begged, "Xiaoping, I really love you!" Lan Xiaoping struggled, Hao Xiuping said, "Please sit down and talk to me." Those eager eyes stared at him.At this moment, Lan Xiaoping didn't know whether it was nervousness, fear, or a male's instinctive reaction to the opposite sex, and his heart was beating wildly.He finally sat on the side of the bed, Hao Xiuping was naked, hugged Lan Xiaoping violently, and kissed Lan Xiaoping wildly on his face. The girl's body is white, plump but not fat.The shawl hair falls like a waterfall on jade-like shoulders.The face was as white and round as the body.It's just that those eyes are too close together, which makes people feel a bit like a rag doll in a store.The waist is slender, and the buttocks are big and round, just like the characters in Western paintings.For a young man, the sexual passion was quickly aroused.She put her arms around him, felt his heart beating, watched the fire in his eyes, the passion rising and expanding... He lost his mind and lay on top of her. He forgot where he was at the moment, his heart was swelling, and his blood was boiling.Suddenly there were two thuds outside, which frightened him, and he quickly got up as if he had just woken up from a dream.Hao Xiuping hugged his neck tightly.At this moment, Hao Qingda coughed, and Lan Xiaoping was so frightened that he broke free from Hao Xiuping's arms, his whole body trembling like sifting chaff, hoping that a mouse hole could get in.Hao Xiuping pulled the towel to cover her body.At this moment, Hao Qingda pushed open the door and stood in the middle of the door, staring at Lan Xiaoping without saying a word.The usually majestic secretary of the commune party committee was even more furious at this moment, making his hair stand on end.Lan Xiaoping was frightened and shy, his face turned red and then turned pale.His dazed lips trembled, and his discolored face turned into a dirty gray misery. Finally, he spoke incoherently and cried: "Secretary Hao, I... I... I... deserve to die..." Before he finished speaking, he stood in front of Hao Qingda like a prisoner. Hao Xiuping lay on the bed and said: "Father, I like Lan Xiaoping, I am already his person..." Lan Xiaoping said in a panic: "Secretary Hao, I don't have one, really not..." He didn't even have a memory of how he left Secretary Hao's place.He was lying on the bed, like a patient with a high fever of 40°C. As long as he closed his eyes, those monsters with strange shapes would appear in front of him.Sometimes he screamed, sometimes called for help... Two days later, the director of the Women's Federation of the commune brought Lan Xiaoping to the office.She straight to the point and said to Lan Xiaoping: "Xiaoping, I have heard about you and Hao Xiuping. Xiuping likes you very much, and I think you two are quite suitable. For this matter, I also have a serious relationship with Secretary Hao. After talking about it, he feels that since this is the case, he agrees to your marriage with Xiuping." Lan Xiaoping seemed to have received a blow to the head, lowered his head in pain, and tried his best to argue: "Hao Xiuping and I really have nothing..." The Director of the Women's Federation smiled and said, "Now no one is asking whether you have that kind of relationship. Even Secretary Hao has forgiven you, not to mention that no one knows about it!" Lan Xiaoping was very confused, he said: "Actually, I don't like her, this matter is too ridiculous..." The director of the Women's Federation changed his face and said, "Lan Xiaoping, if you don't agree to the marriage with Hao Xiuping, do you know what the consequences will be? Hao Xiuping spared you, Secretary Hao didn't punish you for the sake of his daughter, but you Still want to join the party? Still want to be promoted? Think for yourself!" Lan Xiaoping didn't know how he left the office of the director of the Women's Federation. He only felt that his legs weighed a thousand catties, and his feet were paralyzed as if they were stepping on cotton. This absurd marriage was thus brought about. There were fewer letters between him and Xue Lizhen, and the content of the letters gradually became thinner.Lan Xiaoping couldn't bear to hit his beloved girl too hard all at once, so he made up all kinds of excuses in an attempt to get Xue Lizhen to sever their relationship. Who knows, Xue Lizhen made a special trip to Houdang Commune with anxiety.The classmate she once loved deeply, the lover who once swore to her thousands of times, has married another girl.What's more cruel is that Hao Xiuping didn't let Lan Xiaoping and Xue Lizhen meet. Xue Lizhen couldn't face this sad world, and left this desolate village like a fugitive in the dark night.Sad and cruel doom!Like a ship sinking in the sea, there is not even a rope or a plank left on the sea of ​​hope. After being abandoned, some women will snatch their lover back from the rival, kill the rival, and flee to the ends of the earth, or be sent to the guillotine, or go to the grave.It's certainly beautiful.The motive of the crime is a tragic passion, which makes people feel that the law is unforgivable and the reality is pitiful.Other women will bow their heads and suffer in silence.She silently swallowed the pain, sobbed, forgiven, and missed.This is love, true love, the love of angels, the proud love that lives in pain and dies in pain.She has since disappeared.And him?From then on, I was locked into this cage that I didn't love! Soon after the marriage, Lan Xiaoping became a committee member of Houdang Commune.By the time of social reform in 1982, the people's communes were abolished nationwide and townships were established.Hao Qingda was transferred to the county government office as the director, and Lan Xiaoping became the deputy secretary of the Houdang Township Party Committee and the head of the township. He was married, but the sacred thing of love was dead in his heart.He put all his energies into his career. In 1984, he became the secretary of the township party committee.Soon Hao Xiuping gave birth to a boy.At this time, the Provincial Agricultural University was recruiting a group of county-level cadres for a training class. Lan Xiaoping was admitted to the Agricultural University and returned to Xuhuai County three years later to become the deputy county magistrate. Lan Xiaoping's face was full of sadness, completely wallowing in sadness.Guan Yeping didn't know whether he was sympathetic because the sincere love between him and the girl was torn apart, or because he was indignant that such feudal arranged marriages still existed in the new era.He sighed a long time and said: "Xiaoping, love and marriage are related to social progress, politics, economy, and culture, and advance with the pace of the times. Therefore, I have great respect for some cadres, especially for a leading cadre. When there are conflicts and criticisms about marriage, I am very cautious. Some leading cadres have achieved success in their careers, but their marriages have failed. It is very sympathetic. But we must be cautious in handling this matter, otherwise it will affect a person. The growth of cadres." Lan Xiaoping could fully hear what Guan Yeping said, some of which were obviously aimed at him.Tears of gratitude rolled in my eyes.I really didn't expect that a senior leading cadre like Guan Yeping is so politically mature and has a unique way of thinking when looking at problems, but his emotions are so sincere and delicate, and a kind of intimacy overflows his heart.A great force drove him, burning his soul.He had to tell the new flesh-and-blood leader another secret of his life. 36-year-old Lan Xiaoping became the deputy magistrate in charge of agriculture in Xuhuai County, and his ingenuity and leadership skills have been brought into full play.In that year, the Provincial Party Committee decided to carry out a pilot program of land reform in Nanzhou, and the young Lan Xiaoping was selected and transferred to Nanzhou after the city reform as Secretary of the Youth League Committee.At this time, Hao Xiuping was working at the county radio station.After he went to work in the Nanzhou Youth League Committee, he accidentally transferred his wife Hao Xiuping to be with him, and lived alone in a guest house, often returning home only once a month.Hao Xiuping urged him to transfer her there as soon as possible, but he always kept pushing on the pretext that he didn't have a house, thinking that being alone would be more relaxed and happy. Lan Xiaoping has not long been the Secretary of the Communist Youth League Committee. It is the Ching Ming Festival this year, and spring brings vitality to people.After ten years of catastrophe, China's literary world soon became active.For a while, the profession of writer became extremely popular.Countless young people who love literature are eager to try, eager to have a shortcut.Those candidates who had no hope of applying for science and engineering, seeing a group of young writers emerging, eagerly played with literature.All of a sudden, many literary units, newspapers and magazines set up various "literary lectures" and "correspondence universities"...to satisfy and attract thousands of literary youths who dream of becoming writers.Of course, this is also an important way for the organizers to generate income. They even organized some writers to give speeches in various places.All kinds of young people who can't find a way out and aspire to become writers are attracted, and the lecture halls are full. This time, it was the turn of the provincial "Qingmeng" literary magazine to give face-to-face lectures in Nanzhou City.It is said that several of the lecturers are well-known writers, and this activity is arranged by the provincial tour.Of course, Lan Xiaoping, the secretary of the Youth League Committee who just took office, can only follow the established policy.When Jiang Miao, who was in charge of this work, reported the specific work to him, he expressed his active support.But he thinks that there are so many literary youths in China, and thousands of troops squeeze the path of writers, very few of them can succeed.A writer does not write works by relying on a moment of enthusiasm and listening to other people's speeches.Writers rely on understanding, talent, and life. The units hosting this author's speech event are the Municipal Bureau of Culture and the Communist Youth League Committee. Of course, they also invited the leaders of the Propaganda Department of the Municipal Committee to attend the banquet.Lan Xiaoping refused to participate on the pretext that he had other tasks.But I didn't expect a sudden change. The leaders of the Propaganda Department of the Municipal Party Committee and the Cultural Bureau went to the province to attend an important meeting.That afternoon, Jiang Miao had no choice but to come to Lan Xiaoping in a panic.Jiang Miao said in embarrassment: "Secretary Lan, you said that for such a big event, the relevant departments in the city will not even show up. Will it affect the relationship between our Nanzhou City and the province? Please save face and represent the relevant departments of the city. Let's invite the department to a banquet! Actually, you don't need to bother, we have arranged everything." Jiang Miao said, looking forward to him with wide-open eyes.For the first time, Lan Xiaoping looked seriously at the subordinate in front of him, the 30-year-old Jiang Miao, who looked like a girl in her twenties.He knew that she was married, and her husband was the deputy chief of the secretary department of the Municipal Party Committee Office.That tall, chic and suave Wang Dengsheng.He noticed her slender figure and that radiant and tender face, which is really one of the few flowers in the municipal government.Jiang Miao's dress is also very trendy.She proudly proclaims that men turn heads 100 percent when she walks down the street. All of a sudden, the young Youth League Committee Secretary's heart, which had been dry for many years, was suddenly moved, and he made an exception and promised to attend this grand banquet on time.He also joked, "Jiang Miao, I'm doing this for your sake, otherwise I wouldn't have gone." Jiang Miao was naturally very excited.To be honest, since Lan Xiaoping was transferred to the Communist Youth League Committee, there have been gossips that have reached her ears, and of course they all praise this young and promising leader.But during the time Lan Xiaoping was transferred, because he was busy getting familiar with the work, he didn't have much contact with Jiang Miao, but this time alone today, somehow, her heart suddenly brightened.In an instant, the misfortune of falling in love with Wang Dengsheng was melted by this flesh and blood young man, and he flew into a beautiful world full of flowers in front of him.She couldn't help throwing him a sweet and charming smile. That night, Lan Xiaoping made an exception and drank a lot of wine.It wasn't until after the banquet that Jiang Miao supported him and sent him back to the dormitory.When he arrived at the dormitory, Lan Xiaoping fell drunk on the bed, and Jiang Miao hurriedly poured him a glass of water. He took two sips in a daze, and mumbled the name "Xue Lizhen" in his mouth.After a while, he vomited again, and there was vomited dirt all over the floor.After Jiang Miao finished cleaning, she kept guarding him.It was already midnight when Lan Xiaoping woke up.For the first time in his life, he felt such embarrassment and absurdity, but at this time, should he let Jiang Miao go home?What should I do?She didn't leave, but sat in his room until dawn.And Lan Xiaoping didn't know that although Jiang Miao and Wang Dengsheng were married, they were not in love.Jiang Miao didn't even reveal a word.Although Lan Xiaoping and Hao Xiuping are married, their relationship has always been dull. In his heart, love and marriage have become two worlds.The relationship between him and Xue Lizhen has nothing to do with lust or marriage.The only thing worth remembering is that indescribable and sacred love.It often grows secretly with his strong silence, and even relies on her to trigger his own memories and hopes for nourishment. When Jiang Miao supported Lan Xiaoping's head with one hand, and wiped his mouth and cheek with a hot towel with the other, a sweet feeling between a man and a woman slowly rose from the bottom of his heart.The figure of Wang Dengsheng gradually faded in her mind, and the figure of Guan Yeping slowly appeared and then faded again. In this way, the number of times she wiped his face for him increased, and her heart became closer. In later work and life, for some reason, Jiang Miao couldn't help thinking of caring for Lan Xiaoping, and sometimes even secretly sent him food for no reason.When Lan Xiaoping realized whether he was emotionally wandering around Jiang Miao, he suppressed himself and controlled himself, not letting it show in the slightest.As long as he is with her, he is often as cold as ice in winter.But the sensitive woman saw the repressed spark in his eyes full of cold light, which penetrated into her heart so deeply and powerfully. In the spring of the following year, the Youth League Provincial Committee held a meeting. According to the spirit of the notice, in addition to the ministers of literature and art of the Youth League Committee of each city, the Secretary of the Youth League Committee of the Municipal Committee was also required to attend the meeting.Lan Xiaoping felt that it was inappropriate for him and Jiang Miao to attend the provincial meeting. He was worried that the relationship with Jiang Miao would develop further, and he was even more worried about those terrible rumors. Rumors can kill people!So I found various reasons to ask for leave from the Secretary of the Youth League Provincial Committee, but it was not approved in the end.In desperation, he asked Jiang Miao to go in the car first in the morning, and he drove alone in the afternoon. On the evening of the report for the meeting, the Youth League Provincial Committee hosted a performance by some celebrities from the past.This is like rain after a long drought to the literary and art circles that have been silent for many years.Because the admission tickets are very tight, the price has increased several times.But Lan Xiaoping didn't go, and hid in the dormitory alone to read.He was clearly avoiding Jiang Miao.The invoices were issued according to the municipal party committee unit. When Jiang Miao went to collect the invoices, she saw her sitting with the secretary, and she was so excited that she almost jumped out of her chest.But when she came to Yuelan Xiaoping, she didn't see him.She hurried to the gate of the gymnasium again, and waited until the opening, but still did not wait for Lan Xiaoping.She entered the performance hall with doubts, but when she found a seat, the seat next to her was empty.Long after the show started, Lan Xiaoping was still missing.Her mood fell to the bottom all of a sudden, she got up and left the performance scene.When she returned to the dormitory, she saw that his room was lit, and the emotions unique to women flew to this lit room in an instant.She went upstairs gently, came to the door, hesitated for a moment, knocked on the door carefully twice, and Lan Xiaoping's voice came from the room: "Who, please come in!" She didn't answer, but suddenly felt a violent heartbeat, and the small warm current suddenly turned into a big wave.what!Why is that?She had to suppress the impulse of emotion and try her best to keep her rationality clear. The door opened, Lan Xiaoping didn't have time to avoid her fiery gaze, and said as if he met an alien: "Why are you? Why don't you watch such a good show?" Fierce flames were burning in her clear eyes, and she gave him a knowing smile that only people who knew each other best had, and said, "Why didn't you go?" Yes!Why didn't he go by himself? In this way, one of them was inside the door, and the other was stunned outside the door, but they didn't know what to do. Finally, it was Jiang Miao who broke the unnatural situation: "Since the secretary won't let me in, let's go out for a walk!" Lan Xiaoping felt that there was no reason to reject this sudden suggestion, so he reluctantly said: "Okay!" They strolled on the road in the middle of the night, and the bright lights of the city reflected the broad streets, intoxicating people in another atmosphere.They walked side by side, and when they came to the bell tower in the urban area, there were ancient pines in various forms, standing tall on this hill of thousands of square meters.Surrounded by jade railings, the unique pavilion-like building in the middle attracts many tourists.They stood by the jade railing, under the dim streetlights, Jiang Miao felt like a boiling river suddenly in his heart, an inexplicable thing swelled and churned in his heart.After another long silence, Jiang Miao felt his hand was touched, but he didn't move away.She suddenly grabbed his hand tightly, stared at him affectionately, and said softly after a long time: "I can't face you, really, I think, you gave me the strength to live, I..." He lowered his head and didn't answer her.But at the same time, there was a subtle passion in his heart, and his cheeks burned with a blush that should not be expected at this age.Since breaking up with Xue Lizhen, he seemed to feel that it was impossible for him to have another woman who could spark his love.He has always been indifferent to his wife Hao Xiuping, and he can't even arouse the instinctive desire and passion of a man.The married life has also become a rigid pattern, the movements are so rigid, and the method is so single.Even in the most manly moment he would not put his lips to hers.Yes, he has been firmly locked by the chains of marriage, but he has to do the duties of a husband, he has to do the responsibilities of a father. However, since the province's "Qingmeng" literary magazine tour came to Nanzhou, and Jiang Miao was drunk at the dinner that day, after Jiang Miao guarded him all night, he often thought of her in his heart, and sometimes both parties felt uncomfortable when they met at work. So natural.At this moment, he tried his best to rule out those absurd and dangerous thoughts, trying to let the tide of rational thoughts swallow up the unbearable warm current in his chest.Just like this night, he tried every means to avoid her, but he was with her in such an unbelievable environment. He finally had no strength to reject her emotion, he turned around and hugged her tightly... Everything in the world can't be so simple, so follow one's wishes.Rumors, that hateful thing, finally spread like a sharp sword in the institution.It even affects his emotions, his work, and naturally his family.Later, Lan Xiaoping finally stepped forward and transferred her to the Municipal Women's Federation. "Didi..." Guan Yeping's cell phone rang, and when he answered, it was Ge Yuncheng's voice: "Secretary Guan? Where are you?" "I've arrived in Yinan County, I'll get off right away." "An important situation has happened here, and I am waiting to report to you!" Ge Yuncheng said anxiously. Guan Yeping hung up the phone and said to Lan Xiaoping: "Xiaoping, thank you for talking about this with me. You are open and sincere. Let's find another time to discuss it carefully!"