Chapter 8 preamble

Each of us thinks that we are at the center of the world, and that the whole world revolves around us, and because of us we can.People call this kind of thinking megalomania, or self-righteousness.This is the problem of society, the conflict between the individual and the group, and the wishes of the individual often conflict with the needs of the group.We can never be sure if this world is just a dream for us, can we? I don't believe such thinking is megalomaniac or self righteous.This is just our personal perception.We can feel another person's mind, but we can never see the world through another person's eyes, or judge the impact of events on another's mind and heart.We can't do that even with our closest friends.

But we have to try, and for the sake of the world, we have to try.This is the single best thing we can do for our society, and it contains the most basic and undeniable element of altruism.But there is also a contradiction here that we must face.It is logically impossible for us to care for others as much as we care for ourselves, but if we all put our own needs and desires above those of society, we would have no society at all. We come from Menzoberranzan, a city of drow, and a city of selfishness.I was there to witness the overflow of selfish desires, and also witnessed its dismal end.In the end, the society there completely collapsed, and the struggle for selfish desires became worthless.

In our lives, every value we know comes from our interconnectedness with the things around us.Both love and friendship are immeasurable. Therefore, we must overcome our selfishness, this is what we must try our best to do, and this is what we must pay attention to.I saw this clearly after Captain Deudermont's attack on Waterdeep.Regarding this incident, my first reaction was that my past was doing evil again, and my friends were being hurt again because of me.Thoughts like this make me miserable, I feel old and tired.Later, when I learned that it was probably Deudermont's old enemy, rather than mine, that was doing it, I felt I had more energy to fight.

why is it like this?The dangers around me never lessened, and they hurt Deudermont, Katie, and everyone else who cared for me. But my feelings for them are real, very real.I have always known and understood this feeling, although I may not have understood its source before.Now, I also understand that source and am proud of it.I've seen the destruction that comes from the indulgence of desire, and I'm from that world.I'd rather die because of Deudermont's past than him die because of mine.I can't bear this pain, it will torture me until the end of my life.I cannot sit by and watch my loved ones suffer and die because of me.I would rather have my heart of flesh shattered in my chest than the heart of my soul be destroyed, for that is the source of love.I long and need to blend into something more than my physical body.

Such feelings are really very strange.It is not bound by logic, not controlled by instinct.In our limited time, in our humanity, we can feel the flaws in our personality caused by ego desires, we can feel the need for solidarity over personal desire.Only when we acknowledge and understand our flaws can we move beyond them. We need each other. — Drizzt Do'Urden