Chapter 18 6. Hometown

The Beixin store has changed beyond recognition, but my grandma's house has not changed. It is still the same as when I was a child, but after my grandma died, my uncle renovated the house.This house was originally a temple. I can't tell what kind of temple it is. It was built during the land reform. Later, my grandfather built two wing rooms.I have never met my grandfather, he died before I was born, I only know that he is the most learned man in Beixindian. When I was admitted to university, my uncle wrote me a congratulatory letter, which said: "Your father is the first junior high school student in Beixindian, and I am the first high school student in Beixindian. You are the first high school student in Beixindian. Xindian's first college student."

My uncle teaches in a technical secondary school, and my home is on the campus. My grandma’s house is always vacant, and my uncle comes back once a week. This house has almost become his villa.I grew up here naked, and my grandma was doing sewing in front of the door.At that time, there was a small stream and endless rice fields in front of the gate. Now the rice fields are still there, but the small stream has dried up. I introduced Chi Xiaomu to my uncle, who said, "Let's sit at home." We sat on the stone table and bench in the courtyard and chatted.Chi Xiaomu was interested in every plant and tree in the yard.

"Leimo, this yard really looks like the Herb Garden written by Mr. Lu Xun." Chi Xiaomu said excitedly. Although my uncle is fifteen years younger than his father, he is almost sixty years old, but he is in good health.Uncle has been handsome since he was a child, and he doesn't lose his demeanor when he gets old.Our father and son have not seen each other for almost twenty years, and the old man is very excited. The food was prepared by my aunt. As soon as the food was in my mouth, my tears flowed out. I have eaten the food made by my grandma in this yard. Now that my grandma has passed away, I seem to still feel the warmth of her old man. figure.

When I went to grandma's grave, I cried so much that Chi Xiaomu also shed tears.I pulled out all the grass on my grandma's grave with my hands, and my arms were already scarred. I don't know why I was so wronged, and I almost fainted from crying. After the "Li Zhang case" happened, my uncle already knew about it from TV and newspapers. "The people in our old Lei family are honest. Uncle is really afraid that you will use your emotions to play other people's way." Uncle said worriedly. "Uncle, I can't do anything to offend Lao Lei's family." I vowed.

Uncle was happy, he took out the family tree of old Lei's family and said: "Lei Mo, if nothing happens to you, you will be the second promising person in our family tree. In today's terms, you are at the county and regiment level. If you were in ancient times That's the county magistrate." I read the family tree, and the oldest official in my ancestors was the county magistrate of Licheng County. It was late at night, Chi Xiaomu and I couldn't sleep, we stood in front of the gate looking at the dry stream under the moonlight in a daze.Chi Xiaomu handed me a cigarette, and I lit it up and took a deep breath, feeling boundless in my heart.

The creek has dried up, leaving only the overgrown weeds on both sides and the traces of winding forward.But I still can't forget the impression that it is flowing all the year round. "Leimo, I really envy you. You still have a herb garden in your heart. I was born in the city, grew up in the city, and worked in the city. I lack such a herb garden in my heart!" Chi Xiaomu said with emotion. "Xiaomu, everyone has a herb garden in their hearts, which is the manor of the soul. As long as you keep this manor, you will not lose your faith, at least you will not become an outcast of your faith."

"Leimo, don't be stupid!" Chi Xiaomu said with a big laugh, "It's not that we have betrayed our beliefs, but our beliefs have deceived us. Once upon a time, young women were ashamed because they had sexual experience, but today girls are ashamed because of their lack of sexual experience." Ashamed of sexual experience. Times have changed, how much is faith worth?" I was stunned by Chi Xiaomu's words, I feel that Chi Xiaomu is so pitiful, he even lost the manor of his soul, let the fire of desire burn him out, he didn't even have a spiritual home, only carnal venting and dying romance .

I bid farewell to my uncle and Beixin's shop, Chi Xiaomu drove the car, and we headed for my grandma's house in Beitantou.There is only more than 30 miles between Beixindian and Beitantou. In the past, there was only one dirt road. When I was a child, I used to walk this dirt road from my grandmother's house to my mother's house. At that time, besides the pear orchard, there was Taoyuan on both sides of the dirt road. Now it has been completed. With the asphalt road, Liyuan and Taoyuan have become houses.When I crossed the Xiaoqinghe Bridge, I was stunned again. The Xiaoqing River seemed to have been dry for many years, and the river was full of weeds.When I was young, I had to use a big wooden boat to cross this river. Motorboats shuttled in and out of the river, and there were more than a dozen large wooden boats behind the motorboat. The scene was very spectacular.

I learned how to swim in this river. At that time, I often crossed to the other side called the dam to steal peaches, and sometimes climbed into the big wooden boat towed by the motorboat to steal watermelons.My mother said that when she was a child, the Xiaoqing River was so clear that big carp could be seen.Alas, when I returned to my hometown this time, the stream in front of my grandma’s house dried up, and the Xiaoqing River at the head of my grandma’s village also dried up. Finally, these two dry rivers turned into two lines of tears flowing down my face.The greatest mental pain in life is to look for a home but feel homeless, to seek stability but to be adrift.

I asked Chi Xiaomu to stop the car, and we got out of the car and strolled on the embankment. Although there was no river rushing, there was the fragrance of the meadow. We took a deep breath of fresh air, so pleasant! I told Chi Xiaomu about the history of Xiaoqinghe, it was like a siren blared in my ears.The regret of life is precisely a kind of limitation.Apart from expecting the infinite in the finite, looking forward to eternity in the process, and making the finite process show an infinite meaning, what else can people expect? The life of my uncle's house is obviously not as good as that of my uncle's house. My uncle is upright and never asks for anything. A saying he often keeps saying is: asking for help is like swallowing a three-foot sword.The house is still the old house, but the jujube tree in the yard is gone.

"The jujube tree is too old, cut it down." Uncle said in an old voice. I remember that the trunk of the jujube tree can only be hugged by two people. It is curved and easy to climb.The leaves covered the whole yard, and once it rained, the red dates all over the yard made people excited to see it. When I was young, my grandmother and I lived in the old house.The old house has beams exposed.One morning, the sparrows were chirping, my grandmother was cooking in the dining room, and kept pulling the bellows. I lay on the bed and slept late. Although I closed my eyes, I clearly remembered that I was awake Afterwards, when I opened my eyes, I couldn't move my body. It was very uncomfortable. I saw a "little man" sitting on the beam smiling at me and making gestures at me. I could neither move nor speak. I couldn't speak, but I knew it clearly in my heart, I struggled desperately, the more I struggled, the more the "little man" laughed, I was so anxious! At this time, my grandma called the rooster came from the yard, and I opened the door and entered the house. The "little man" suddenly disappeared, and I could move my body. Speaking of what happened just now, my grandmother said, you have met a "fox fairy". Later, I also mentioned this matter to my mother, and my mother said that she also encountered this matter in the house when she was a child.When I mentioned this to Chi Xiaomu, he didn't believe it at all. There used to be a vegetable field in front of my uncle’s house, and my grandpa’s grave is there. It’s like I’ve never seen my grandfather before, and neither have I. However, the village will build a primary school in that vegetable field. I had to move the grave for my grandpa. After the grave was dug up, my grandma picked up the bones of my grandpa and put them on a piece of blue cloth. Grandpa's first and last side, grandpa's grave was moved to the edge of Xiaoqing River.Later, his grandmother was buried with him. Everything about North Beach is so familiar to me that I can't stop feeling nostalgic.My uncle and I knelt in front of the graves of my grandpa and grandma in silence.Uncle lit two cigarettes, poured two cups of wine and put them in front of the grave, and said in a low voice: "Father, mother, your grandson has come to see you." As soon as uncle finished speaking, my tears blurred eyes.I silently kowtowed three times, longing for the souls of the two old people to rest in peace. My understanding of life and death began in Beitantou. When I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, one day at noon, my partners Jianguo and Dongsheng went to hunt pigweed. We crossed the Xiaoqing River, ate a pear, and then crossed back. Fill the basket with hogweed, and walk back happily. When approaching Dongsheng's house, the inner and outer courtyards of Dongsheng's house were full of people crying.Dongsheng knew something was wrong at home, so he ran into the yard.Jianguo and I followed closely behind and ran into the yard, where we saw two benches forming a door panel. Dongsheng's father was lying motionless on the door panel, his face sallow.Dongsheng's mother was distraught.Jianguo's mother comforted him.I heard from the people next to me that Dongsheng's father died suddenly while drinking at noon. This was the first time I saw a dead person, and I was terrified.It was unbelievable. At that time, I thought, how can a living person stop moving without moving?I couldn't eat for several days, and I didn't dare to go out of the yard. It was Jianguo who came to accompany me every day, and then I gradually got better. Since then, I have witnessed dozens of births and deaths, and I seem to be numb. Life and death are nothing but reincarnation. Birth does not take it away, and death does not take it away.My colleague’s father and mother died, so we went to hold a funeral; our old comrade died, and he also went to hold a funeral. Even the former mayor of Dongzhou City died in a car accident in the United States. My colleagues and I even arranged a mourning hall together.However, the death that really touched my soul was the death of Zhang Guochang. His death made me think more deeply about life. The ultimate meaning of life is to have an explanation for death in the future.A good account will go down in history, but a bad account will leave a bad reputation for thousands of years.At least some good memories should be left in people's memory, just like my grandma and my grandmother, no matter where I go, no matter how old I am, their kind smiles flash before my eyes as soon as I calm down. Zhang Guochang also has good memories of me, because after all, he has the kindness to me, but he is not easy to explain to the common people. He can only apologize with death. Reportage, writing documentary articles to scold him, and filming TV dramas to warn future generations.Such a death is extremely painful for the living relatives. Leaving my uncle's house, Chi Xiaomu and I both felt a little bit emotional, Chi Xiaomu was not as active as when we came here. "Xiao Mu, are you tired?" I asked with a smile. "No, I miss my mother." I laughed when I heard it, and thought to myself, it's only been a few days since I came out, this doesn't sound like a person who is approaching middle age.After passing Dezhou, Chi Xiaomu stopped the car when he saw a cotton field. "My fellow, where can I buy new cotton?" Chi Xiaomu rolled down the window and asked. "The cotton there is all new cotton." The fellow pointed to a bungalow next to the cotton field and said. Chi Xiaomu and I walked over, and it turned out that this bungalow was a small cotton processing factory. "Xiao Mu, what are you doing buying cotton?" I asked puzzled. "My mother kept asking me to buy her some new cotton for my dad to make a padded jacket, but I never took it seriously." "Just buy a new padded jacket." I said with a smile. "My dad doesn't like to wear the padded jackets he bought, but he likes the padded jackets made by my mother. My dad says it's comfortable to wear."