Chapter 2 Two, resign

I resigned, I don't want to be the mayor's secretary anymore, the kind of little person who listens to the leader read the materials I wrote, and has to pretend to be serious and take notes, it's so boring.Of course, making this choice is painful.This is actually a process of emotional purgatory. In the past, when Zhang Guochang was the executive deputy mayor of Dongzhou City, he often introduced to others: "This is my secretary." It sounds like I am his personal property. Now I know that I am who I am, and I am no one else.This understanding is getting more and more thorough, and I can have this understanding because I have always been a spiritually independent person. I understand that all human dignity lies in thinking.

I still have many new ways of life, and I suddenly thought of a passage from Mr. Lu Xun in the book: "There are still many new ways of life, and I must step in because I am still alive. But I still don't know how to take the first step. Sometimes, I seem to see the way of life winding towards me like a long gray snake, I waited, waited, watched the approach, and suddenly disappeared into the darkness." I have actually taken the first step, and I was sober when I took this step. "However, this is even more empty than the new way of life. Now there are only nights in early spring, which are still so long. I am alive, and I have to take that step towards the new way of life."

Zhang Guochang's death by injection was carried out in spring.Li Guofan's death was also in spring.The god of death chose spring to accept them, probably hoping that their souls would regenerate.Can the soul really regenerate? The city government office notified me to clean up the office.Zhang Guochang and I have separate offices inside and outside.The office has been sealed for more than two years. When the door is opened, the dust in the room blocks the light, making people feel that the light is cloudy, but the dust is clear.The flower has long since dried up, and still maintains a tall and straight posture in the cloudy light, as if proving to me that it is strong.There is still some water left in the water dispenser, as if staring at the two people behind me.The two directors of the Municipal Commission for Discipline Inspection watched me pack my things vigilantly. What else could I have in two big woven bags of books?

Lin Dayong, director of the Second Comprehensive Division, came to see me.We have served Zhang Guochang together for many years.This is a shrewd, capable, powerful, and righteous man. His political future has benefited from his old mother. Lin Dayong's old mother was an old minister of the Organization Department of the Provincial Party Committee. Although she had retired for many years, she was highly respected. Although Lin Dayong was deeply appreciated by Zhang Guochang, but because he was alert to Zhang Guochang, he was not affected by the case.Soon he was promoted to the deputy director of the general office of the municipal government.

I completely left the city hall. Zhang Guochang's wife, Meng Lihua, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for bribery.Their son lived with Zhang Guochang's old mother-in-law, and I visited several times. At that time, Zhang Guochang’s old mother-in-law said to me: “Lei Mo, you don’t know that when Lihua was imprisoned, she was in a very poor mental state, and she often shed tears in the middle of the night. After Zhang Guochang’s death, she was even more hopeless. I was really worried that she would But this test!" The old man was over seventy years old, and I looked at her old and strong face with a look of helplessness.

The relationship between Zhang Guochang and Meng Lihua is deep. Although Zhang Guochang ate, drank, gambled, and spent a lot of time when he was in power, he still told me about his relationship with his wife in private. In my opinion, Zhang Guochang owes his wife too much, and he will not finish it in his next life.But I feel that Zhang Guochang is still going to pay it back in his next life, because he put a strand of his wife's hair in his chest pocket before his execution. "Lihua, I'm leaving, don't dwell on the past, live bravely. We're about to break up, I want to see your smile."

Meng Lihua bid farewell to Zhang Guochang with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.Zhang Guochang was content, but Meng Lihua fell into great grief and couldn't extricate herself. I know that Meng Lihua is not an ordinary woman, she will definitely get over it, and she must live strong for her son.It should be said that Li Guofan, the mayor of Dongzhou City, was sued by this woman, and she also killed her husband for this.Otherwise the case would not have dug so deep. Some people say that Li Guofan is not Zeng Guofan after all, and he does not have his own "Tingjing".In fact, Li Guofan was fooled by the villain and lit a fire to burn himself to death.

In court, the lawyer's defense was brilliant.They said that Li Guofan's corruption is not against the law, it is reasonable and illegal, and most of it is accepting bribes instead of asking for bribes, most of them are rewards instead of bribes, most of them are received after the event rather than prior agreements, and most of them are acts that do not violate their duties rather than violations. Behaviors that cause losses to the country due to official duties and illegal earnings. When I listened to these defenses, it always smacked of attempted rape.Little do they know that rape once is called rape, and rape many times is called cohabitation.Li Guofan was lucky, he got more than 20 million yuan and was sentenced to death with a reprieve. Zhang Guochang must be wronged if he knows this.

Most of the people in the city hall said regretfully, Lei Mo is so stupid, why did he resign? !Some gloated and said, I don't think he is so good.Whoever wants to say whatever they want can say whatever they like, anyway, I, Lei Mo, just resigned.This is my character, the sword is not sharp, I would rather break it. I have been too wronged in the officialdom these years, and bent over became a habit, so I hunched over.I used one side of my personality to suppress the other side, and my yin was too strong. I didn't let Zhang Guochang see my masculinity until he died. It was before the incident, after I revealed in private that he had gambled heavily in Macau, that he discovered that the secretary who had been with him for many years was not born with a hunchback but with a bent waist, and he could straighten his waist suddenly.It's a pity that my waist was straightened too late, otherwise Zhang Guochang would not have died.

In fact, everyone's personality has two sides. If there is a yin side, there is an explicit side; if there is a quiet side, there is an impetuous side; On the one hand, there is an indifferent side.