Chapter 30 is coal white

Hu Guoqing stood in front of Xie Lijuan's door. For a moment he even lost the nerve to knock, but he knocked anyway. The door opened, and Xiao Xie stood at the door... After less than two months, Xie Lijuan became haggard all of a sudden, and you couldn't even recognize her.She seemed to be a different person, her full moon-like face was thinned into a knife shape, her cheekbones were protruding, and the only thing that stood out on that face was her pair of sad big eyes. Hu Guoqing's heart tightened, and his mind went blank! Xie Lijuan said lightly: "Come in." After speaking, she turned her head and walked back.

Hu Guoqing followed her into the house blankly.After entering the house, he found that the room was very messy, things were piled up everywhere, books had been bundled into piles... Hu Guoqing felt very hurt, he stood there and said, "Xiao Xie, I'm sorry .Before you, I am a sinner." Xie Lijuan showed a sneering smile, she said coldly: "What are you talking about? Before I leave, you can come and see me, I am already very content. Sit down." Hu Guoqing didn't dare to sit down, he was still standing there... Xie Lijuan folded her arms and said, "Sit down, Secretary Hu, you sit down. It's a bit messy here, but it won't dirty your butt, right?"

Hu Guoqing sat down on the sofa, bowed his head, and let out a long sigh. Seeing that Hu Guoqing sat down, Xie Lijuan said: "Secretary Hu, what do you want to drink? Look at me, it's a mess, even the teapot is given away. If you don't mind, have a can of drink." Saying that, she left Going to a cardboard box, I dug it out twice, took out a can of Sprite from it, and put it on the coffee table with a click. At this time, Hu Guoqing raised his head and saw that his face was covered with tears... Suddenly, there was silence in the room, and that silence was like a gate, opening those good memories of the past, yes, in this room, they loved so much.No one thought that the joy would be gone in a blink of an eye, leaving only fragments of memory.

Xie Lijuan silently lit a cigarette and said, "Secretary Hu, you came to me to ask me to forgive you, right? Then, let me tell you clearly, I will never forgive you, and I will never forgive you." won't forgive you." Hu Guoqing said: "I know you won't forgive me, and I don't expect your forgiveness. I just, just... want to see you. I hurt you too much." Xie Lijuan's voice suddenly became sharper, and she said impulsively: "Do you need to verify the body after killing someone? Do you also need to check whether the pattern on the knife edge is beautiful? Enough!" She took two puffs in succession. Smoke, when she calmed down a little, she said indifferently: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't treat you like this, call secretary."

Hu Guoqing said sadly: "Xiao Xie, don't hurt yourself anymore, people like me don't deserve you... like this." Xie Lijuan said: "As a leader, your words are very decent..." Then, she murmured, "Do you know how I have spent this period of time? I survived on the tip of a knife. I will wait. Waiting and waiting... What I waited for was this result. Do you know how I felt? In the first week, I wanted to commit suicide. I wanted to die. After thinking about it, it was not worth it. In the second week, I I want to kill, I want to kill all of you, and then it's not worth it. Frankly speaking, that Wu Guangwen, I met secretly, is simply a housewife. In the third week, I think, I In whose hands did I lose? I must figure out whose hands I lost in. At that time, when I went out and walked on the street, looking at the faces of people, I I suddenly understand..." At this point, Xiao Xie smiled coldly.

Hu Guoqing said: "Xiao Xie, all my mistakes are my fault. But why did you resign? You are a single woman..." Xie Lijuan said: "I want to get out of here. I have to get out of here. I don't want to stay for a minute. This is a place that anesthetizes people. It doesn't kill people all at once. It cuts you with a blunt knife. A little Cut bit by bit, spin bit by bit, it makes you live like a fool..." Hu Guoqing said, "Xiao Xie..." Xie Lijuan sneered, and then said: "After all, I understand, I understand your people, I understand your place. Isn't there a place called 'Wuliang' here? In the past, I have never understood the meaning of 'Wuliang'. What does "Liang" mean, and why did you choose such a name? Now I understand, it means no backbone. Everyone here has no backbone! Therefore, people here always say that people live with one breath. A breath of life. Hmph, what kind of breath is that? Useless breath!"

Hu Guoqing said: "Xiao Xie, I am not good alone, so don't blame our land. The land is good and the land is good, and it has raised us. Besides, since ancient times, there has been a saying that 'a son does not think his mother is ugly, and a dog does not think his family is poor' As for saying that people live with one breath, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. This is also the law of survival that has been passed down in this land for thousands of years. Although the breath is soft, once it gathers, it is also amazing.” Xie Lijuan stared, and said, "What kind of aura? What kind of aura is this? What does this aura nourish? Do you think I don't know? It nourishes the kind of little man who plays power. Yes, it makes people smaller and smaller. What it devours is personality, and what it nourishes is dog flies. In this land, such men grow everywhere. You can sacrifice anything for power. Don’t I Isn't that right?"

Hu Guoqing said: "Since you mentioned men, let me tell you about the men here. What is a man in our place? A man is a breath. What is a woman? A woman is water. What we lack most here It is water. Therefore, in our place, women are raised as water, and women are precious here. And water is used to nourish Qi. Therefore, to put it bluntly, in the Central Plains, every household , are all living men. Here, it is impossible for you to understand the true meaning of the word 'man'. It actually means a kind of bearing, which means a kind of dedication. When they hold up a face, it is For another face. I never told you about my family, I don't want to say that. My grandparents, my fathers, they never had love, they didn't know what love is. They only knew a Word: Live. My grandpa, my grandma, my father, and my mother, they almost all lived their lives in trouble. They never made their own choices, because they didn’t have the right to choose. They were in Do you know the meaning of "make do with"? Here, "make do with" is not a general literal meaning, it is a kind of long life. It is a life that is worked out. The son is If you want to give birth, you have to give birth without love. One son is a hope, and two sons are two hopes. If one dies, another will be born. What they give birth to is a hope for the future. They are planting the future. In this land, what men carry on their backs is a long chain of life, and each buckle is a big "living" character. This "living" is gathered by countless "small" as you call it. You You can underestimate me, but never underestimate the men here. As for power, that is what men everywhere yearn for. Power is a manifestation of success. Yes, here, the size of the radiation of life depends on power It is defined. This is especially true for men. People here do not live for money, or not just for living money. What grows here is a kind of thought, or spirit. This is a tree of spirit. This is what is pushed out. Desire for power is a state of anti-slavery. In the plains, there is a saying called "It's better to die than to live", which naturally reflects a kind of slavishness and almost rogue-like resilience. And stamina. At the same time, there is a saying called 'Killing only with the head on the ground', which is a kind of anti-slavery mentality. Tell me, how can people here not desire power..."

Xie Lijuan stayed there for a while.For a long time, she didn't say a word, just looked at him like that... Then, big tears flowed from her eyes.She stretched out a hand tremblingly, pointed at Hu Guoqing and said, "You, you, you...you tell me, I just want you to say a word: Is the coal white in your place?! Tell me! !" Hu Guoqing stood up, walked in front of Xie Lijuan silently, patted her silently, then, after hesitating for a moment, he gently held her in his arms, and whispered: "Lijuan, it's my fault, Can you give me some more time?" At first, Xie Lijuan's body was stiff and numb.But gradually, the body softened and became a puddle of mud.She clings to his body, at first, she gritted her teeth and said: "I hate you! I hate you! I wish I could kill you..." But when she was hanging on him, her arms became tighter and tighter , The hug became tighter and tighter, so tight that he could hardly breathe.She cried, she said with tears: "I hate, I should hate, why am I...so shameless!"

As a result, the two became "good" together again.At this time, the minds of the two people seemed to be disobedient, and the orders in their minds were contrary to their body language.Xie Lijuan said in her mind: This person has no personality at all, so ignore him!You don't want to pay attention to him... But, her tongue has been tightly entangled with his tongue, this time seems to be more violent and smooth than any other time!The two were entwined like snakes, and in the frenzied kissing and touching, they moved towards the bed bit by bit... After both of them were awake, another moment of embarrassment appeared on the bed.Xie Lijuan burst into tears, beat herself up and said, "What am I doing? I'm so shameless! What is this? Am I your lover?"

Hu Guoqing also felt that she shouldn't be hurt anymore, because you are the one who is sorry for her.You have already owed people enough, and you will always have to pay back the debts. If you continue to entangle like this, it will be very dangerous... But he couldn't find the right words to comfort her for a while. Xie Lijuan turned around and sobbed, "You go, you go!" At this time, Hu Guoqing felt that he should give her some compensation no matter what, otherwise, he would have a disturbed conscience.So, Hu Guoqing's brain got hot, and he said something like this: "Lijuan, if you insist on resigning and going to sea, I can't stop you. But you have nothing to do, it's hard to get things done. How about it, I'll get you one million as your start-up capital, in the future..." Unexpectedly, Xie Lijuan sat up suddenly, raised her eyebrows and said, "What do you think of me? A prostitute?!" Hu Guoqing hurriedly said, "No, that's not what I meant..." However, after Hu Guoqing said such a sentence, he also secretly regretted it.One million is not a small number.But the words have already been spoken, and it is hard to take back the water.Fortunately, Xie Lijuan did not accept it. However, he would never have imagined that even such a sentence would plant the seeds of disaster for him.