Chapter 7 Section VII

When he was in college, he always dreamed about that grass. In the dream, the grass smelled like wormwood.The grass is so small, green and numb, with brown spots, scattered in front of his eyes one by one... Then he woke up, and every time he woke up, he would never wake up again. can not fall asleep.At this time, he couldn't help but think of Li Hongye, and when he thought of Li Hongye, his heart was in a mess.He is distraught!Sometimes, he would get up from the bed in a jiffy, wishing he could stand up and leave... But after a while, he would say, that's all. However, that matter has been hanging in his mind.Sometimes, he would say, you are so stupid, you dare not do it when it comes to you?

University is really a place to think about. During the years when he went to university in the provincial capital, Li Jinkui had neither friends nor acquaintances in the provincial capital, and there were not many classes, so he spent most of his time in the dormitory reading, watching Looking at it, he couldn't help thinking of that incident again, he said, are you afraid, are you afraid of a bird?You said at that time, what were you muttering about, you didn’t gag early or late, why did you start gagging at that time?You have lost a good future by talking inappropriately, not only have you lost a good future, you have lost a good woman!

So, what do you smell, what do you have to smell, what is it that scares you?Is it the tranquility of the Little Red Mansion?Is that the sound from the mahogany floor?Or was that tone, that tone of voice making you uneasy?Think about it, it should be said that there are some, but not all.People want to go to high places, right?They have already talked to that point, they want you to be a secretary, a secretary in the city!No matter how many people can fight for it.At this time, of course, there is a hint, a promise, a kind that you can comprehend... How much that is!But you are short-circuited.After learning electricity, you know what a short circuit is, but it is too late to regret it.Do you really not regret it?

You said, no regrets, but why? In the third year of school, he finally found the answer.It should be said that he did not find this answer by himself, but Li Hongye told him. During the summer vacation, Li Hongye gave him a word: "Thief!" Just this word, it was embedded in his bones. During the summer vacation of that year, when he took a present to visit Li Zhiyao, he found that Li Zhiyao had moved out of the small red building.What is even more unbelievable is that Li Zhiyao, who was once aloof, actually moved to live in a broken garage.The situation at that time was really horrible!Things were piled in a mess in that crappy garage, and books were thrown on the floor in piles.The white-haired Li Zhiyao held his head in both hands, and sat silently on a broken rattan chair... The extremely bright Li Hongye was packing his things with an ugly belly... When Li Jinkui walked in, he also Director Li, who was once prominent for a while, stood up in a hurry, bowed his waist and said, "Jin Kui is back? Sit down, sit down quickly." After speaking, he looked around and found that there was really no place to sit. The broken rattan chair was let out, and he pulled it forward: "You sit, you sit." He didn't sit, he just stood there stunned, not knowing what to say for a while, Li Zhiyao said: "Let's have a holiday!" ?” He said, “It’s a holiday.” At this moment, Li Hongye raised his head, gave him a cold look, and said, “Jin Kui, my dad has stepped down, what are you doing here?!” Li Zhiyao hurriedly said : "Jin Kui can come to see me, I am very happy. Don't say that." Li Hongye snorted, turned away the face covered with butterfly spots, and said: "You go, you go " Then, Li Zhiyao muttered in a low voice and explained: "...Many things are decided collectively. This is not my problem alone. I want to appeal, and I still want to appeal." Li Hongye angrily said with tears in her face "Dad, what are you still talking about at this time?" Li Zhiyao hurriedly said: "Okay, okay, don't talk, don't talk." Li Jinkui stood there for a long time in embarrassment, the silence was almost breathless angry.Finally, when he left the garage to ask, Li Hongye stood at the door of the garage and said in a resentful tone: "Li Jinkui, you are such a 'thief', I never thought you would be such a 'thief'!"

What else can Li Jinkui say?There was a buzz in his mind, as if the skylight had opened... This word is very hurtful.But this word is used too accurately, this word makes people feel at a loss!Yes, you are a thief, you are indeed a "thief".This "thief" is born with you. At that time, at the critical moment when you are asked to make a choice, the "thief" in your bones works.At that time you know that you are a grass, a grass that fends for itself.You are at a disadvantage from birth, you are only growing bit by bit, your stature is small, your base point is also small, no matter how small your footprint is, it is your own, and it is you who walk out step by step.You are surviving in small places and surviving in defeats.When you climb, you are only doing it for strength.But if you lose yourself, you become a thing tied to others. Once you are tied, you are no longer you. What if... without yourself, how can you live?From this point of view, the 'thief' is born from the soil.It is a kind of vigilance that grows in the bones, an innate defense, and a keenness of survival instinct.Fortunately, it's time for you to babble!

However, you also gave up a woman who once nourished you.How beautiful she was then!What a temptation she was to you then!Your heart hurts, you almost go crazy, but you bear it, you can bear it.Yes, at that time, you had already noticed a slight change in her body. When her father came out, her tone changed instantly.Maybe she didn't feel it herself, but you felt it.It's only been three years. After three years, unexpectedly, wow, she has become a "she" with a big belly, and she is such an ugly "she"!So, where did her former beauty go, and where did her astonishing beauty go?What a terrible time!

Just such a word "thief" made Li Jinkui fully understand the art of retreat, and completed a sublimation from sensibility to rationality.For him, this incident was a mental prison. He has been tortured for too long!He remembered that "cracking" time, and in the days to come, that "cracking" left a deep mark on his life memory.One night, when he came to the playground of the university campus, after running ten laps in a row, he stood there alone, sweating profusely, silently looking up at the night sky of the provincial capital, and said in his heart: Li Hongye, are you right? Living.

The next day, he went to the post office and sent Li Hongye 200 yuan.At that time, although he was taking salary to go to school, it was only thirty-six yuan a month.Sending the two hundred was equivalent to deducting half a year's living expenses from his teeth. However, not long after the incident, the money was returned intact.Not a word attached. Li Jinkui thought to himself, she wants me to owe her, and I will always owe her. Four years of college passed in a flash.When graduation is approaching, it happens to be the time when diplomas are in demand.All of a sudden, the students started running around, hoping to find a good unit in the provincial capital.Only Li Jinkui did not move.He knew that it was useless to move, because he had no connections in the provincial capital.However, according to his grades, it is possible to stay in school.But after thinking about it, he decided to go back.

Before leaving school, Li Jinkui did something that surprised the whole class.That day, when they happily went to take graduation photos, on the way, Li Jinkui suddenly said that the classmates are going to break up after a meeting, and I will treat everyone to dinner, and let's get together for the last time.Hearing what he said, the students were startled.Usually, they all know that Li Jinkui is a master who eats dry buns and only pickles.Because he seldom speaks and never jokes with others, so in college, he has another nickname, "Suren".This graduation assignment, it should be said that he is the worst, and also the most sympathetic. He is about to break up after speaking. Once he leaves, he will be separated from each other.How could he treat guests?These words are a little touching.Therefore, some people say that you can't afford to eat.How about this, eat as much as you want, let's all join together.Li Jinkui said, there is no need to join the party, as I have said, I invite you.Someone asked in disbelief: Do you really please?He said, please.So, a class of thirty-six students entered a restaurant in a mess.During the meal, the squad leader asked, do you want to serve wine?He said, come on.The squad leader stared at him blankly and said good guy.Four tables? !One less table would cost forty or fifty!You... he said, let go.As a result, as soon as the wine was served, there were a lot of exclamations. While drinking, some people cried and said, Li Jinkui, I don’t know you too much at ordinary times, what a buddy!So they left their addresses one after another... When they left, Li Jinkui was the last one to leave the school again. He helped others carry their luggage and sent the students from other places to the car one by one, and then shook hands and said goodbye.It made all the classmates cry, and each of them said to him, Jin Kui, you have been a classmate for four years, and you are the only true friend!

However, among the classmates, no one knew that he walked back with his bedroll on his back...