Chapter 19 Chapter Fifteen I'm No Longer a Child

"You should make love at the best time, my lord," Temigast whispered to Lord Feringal.He had led the young master to the other end of the garden away from Meralda, where the girl was gazing out at the sea from the wall.The steward had already discovered that the amorous young man had been putting pressure on Meralda, begging her to marry him every week.And the flustered girl begged for forgiveness with one polite answer after another, though every excuse was crushed by the stubborn Feringal. "Perfect time?" Feringal repeated suspiciously. "I'm almost mad with hunger and thirst. I can't think of anything but Meralda!"

He said the last sentence very loudly, and then both men saw the frowning Meralda looking at them from behind out of the corner of their eyes. "Like this, let it run its course," Temigast whispered, "and let's see if this intense feeling will pass the test of time. Such a sustained feeling is what love is, my lord." "You still doubt me?" replied the surprised Lord Feringal. "No, my lord, not I," Temigast explained, "but the villagers, who must see that your union with a girl like Meralda is based on true love, Not a stupid impulse. You have to take her reputation into account."

That last sentence calmed Lord Feringal.He stared back at the girl, then turned to Temigast, visibly confused. "Once she's married to me, what's going to hurt her reputation?" "If the wedding comes soon, the farmers will assume that she has seduced you with her womanly charm," Temigast explained. "It is better for her now that you spend Take the last few weeks to show your loyal and respectful love for her. Besides jealousy, my lord, some people will hate her. Now you must protect her, and the best way is you choose It's a good time to propose." "How long?" asked the eager young lord.

"On the vernal equinox," suggested Temigast, which brought another horrified look on the lord's face. "Only then would be appropriate." "I'm going to die," Feringal wailed. Temigast frowned at the overwrought lord, "If you want to become famous we can arrange a meeting with another woman for you." Lord Feringal shook his head like a rattle. "I don't have the passion to think about any other woman." Smiling happily, Temigest patted the young man's shoulder, "This is the correct answer for a person who is truly in love," he said, "Maybe we can arrange a wedding during the Chinese New Year."

Lord Feringal's face lit up, and then he frowned again. "Five more months," he muttered. "But think of the joys of this time." "I can't think of anything else," said the gloomy Feringal. "What are you talking about?" the girl asked when Feringal returned to Meralda standing by the wall after he apologized and left in Temigast. "The wedding, of course," answered the lord. "Steward Temigast thinks we must wait until next spring. He thinks love is something that needs to grow slowly and blossom," said Feringal, his There was a slight suspicion in the voice.

"It is indeed so." Meralda agreed with relief, and secretly thanked Temigast from the bottom of her heart. Feringal suddenly took her hand and pulled her closer. "I can't believe how much my love for you can grow," he explained.The lord kissed her, and Meralda kissed back, glad that Feringal didn't demand more from her than his usual tactic. Unlike usual, the young lord pushed her back at an arm's length. "Temigast has warned me to pay you respect," he admitted, "to show the villagers that our love is real and lasting. So, I will wait. Besides, it will also give It took Priscilla the time it took to prepare the matter. She promised to prepare a wedding like the whole of Orkney—the whole of the Northland—has never seen before.”

Meralda gave a genuinely sincere smile.She was happy with the delay, glad that she had time to adjust the relationship between Lord Feringal and Jaka to a more appropriate position, and finally walked into the auditorium with her own determination and responsibility.Meralda believed she could get through this with these feelings, not like a woman who was suffering.She could marry Lord Feringal and show herself as a Lady of Orkney, for her mother, her family.Maybe it's not such a bad thing. There was a twinkle of emotion in the girl's eyes as she looked at Feringal, where the Lord stood staring into the black waves.Somewhat impulsively, she put an arm around the man's waist, rested her head on his shoulder, and rewarded her soon-to-be husband with a simple and grateful smile.He didn't speak, didn't even make further demands.Meralda had to admit that it was... delightful.

"Oh, tell me all about it!" Torrey whispered, tossing on Meralda's bed, the older girl has returned home tonight, "Did he touch you?" "We were just chatting and watching the waves." Meralda replied vaguely. "Do you still love him?" Meralda glared at her sister.She loves Lord Feringal?No, she's pretty sure she'll say no, at least not to the extent that Jaka puts the reins of enthusiasm on her head, but maybe there's something wrong with that.Maybe she could love the generous Lord Feringal.Of course he wasn't ugly - far from it.As the relationship between them continued to develop, beyond the period when the man was unilaterally desperately fumbling, Meralda began to see a lot of good qualities in him, qualities that she began to like.

"Do you still love Jaka?" Torrey asked. This painful reminder made Meralda's contented smile disappear instantly.She didn't answer, and this time Torrey felt he shouldn't ask anymore, because her sister had turned away, crouching there, trying not to cry out. All night long the girl had burning dreams, leaving herself confused and confused in the blanket.Still, Meralda's mood improved the next morning, especially when she went into the drawing room and heard her mother talking to Mam Gardener.The visitor was one of their nosy neighbors (the little dwarf had a beak that would put a vulture to shame), with whom the girl's mother was chatting cheerfully about her prowling the castle gardens.

"Mam Gardener has brought you some eggs," explained Brister Gandley, pointing to a pot of eggs that had been piled up in a mess. "Eat it quickly, before I change my mind and take it back." The dwarf joked. Meralda smiled at her generous neighbor, then walked to the pan.Suddenly the young girl felt a strange reaction in her stomach to the food and the smell, and she was obliged to rush from the house and vomit in the bushes outside the door. Mam Gardener followed her immediately. "Are you all right, girl?" she asked. Meralda was more surprised than uncomfortable. She stood up. "It's the rich food in the castle," she explained. "They serve me too well, I'm afraid."

Mam Gardener snarled and laughed aloud, "Oh, but you'll get used to it!" she said, "and you'll be fat and plump and live comfortably and comfortably." Meralda smiled back and walked back into the house. "You still have to eat, though," said the dwarf, leading her to the eggs. As for Meralda, just thinking about the food made her stomach start working again. "I think I need to go away for a while, to lie down," she explained, and went back to her room without looking back. The girl heard the voices of the two old women muttering about her symptoms, and Mam was telling about bountiful food to Bester, who was no stranger to sickness, and hoped that her daughter's discomfort would be over. stop. Privately, Meralda wasn't sure if she was sick.But when she followed the timeline and recalled the encounter with Jaka three weeks ago, she realized that, to be honest, she had never had menstruation, but the girl didn't pay much attention at that time because she had never accepted this aspect. Systematic education... The young girl clutched her belly, immersed in both joy and fear. After this, she had another fit the next morning, but Meralda could only hide her presence by staying away from the eggs and the smell they gave off.After throwing up for a while she felt better and stopped worrying about it, actually feeling better about having a baby. In fantasy, having Jaka Scully's child doesn't seem to be such a terrible thing.Now she pictured herself married to the young rascal, living together in the castle, walking side by side in the gardens, which seemed to her far more terrifying. She betrayed Lord Feringal, and worse, she betrayed her family too.Because of the affair that night, she may now have to accept the condemnation brought about by her mother's death, and bear the brand of a prostitute to be judged by the eyes of the whole village. Will something more terrible happen?she imagined.Once Father found out the truth he would kill her - after all he had beaten her like that.Or Lord Feringal would parade her through the streets so the villagers could taunt and hurl rotten fruit at her and spit on her.Or maybe Lord Feringal, in a fit of rage, would pull the baby out of her womb and send his soldiers to kill Jaka. So what about the child?Would the nobles of Orkney accept the children of a lord's unfaithful wife?Meralda had heard tales of similar examples from other lands, tales of kings and potential threats, tales of killing babies. All these possibilities swirled in Meralda's mind all night as she lay in bed, so terrible, so bad, that she could hardly imagine them, nor face them sincerely.The girl got up and dressed quietly, then walked into her mother's room, and watched her sleeping there peacefully, holding her father's arm. Meralda opened her mouth and let out a mournful but silent apology before sneaking out of the house.It was a wet and windy night, with a woman's typical fright and frustration. She didn't find Jaka on the high ground overlooking all the houses, so Meralda walked towards the boy's house instead. go.In order not to wake his family as much as possible, the girl threw a few small stones on the curtains of Jaka's glassless windows. The curtains were suddenly pulled aside, and Jaka's handsome face peeped through the open window. "It's me, I'm Meralda." The girl whispered softly, and the young man's face was immediately filled with surprise.He stretched out his hand to her, and when the girl grasped it firmly, he drew that little hand close to his cheek, grinning all the way to his ears. "I must talk to you," Meralda explained. "Come out, please." "It's warmer here," Jaka replied in his usual sly, bawdy tone. Although she knew it was foolish to do so, Meralda hurried to the front door considering the bone-chilling night air.Suddenly, Jaka appeared there, shirtless and holding a crude small candle.He put his fingers on his pursed lips, put his arms around Meralda, and led her quietly through the curtain to his bedroom.Before the girl could begin to explain, Jaka gagged her, kissed her, and pulled her toward him on the bed. "Stop!" The girl struggled to make a sound, pushing him away, "We have to talk." "Later," Jaka said, his hands starting to tangle. Meralda rolled off the side of the bed and stepped back. "Right now," she said, "this is very important." Jaka sat down on the edge of the bed, still smiling playfully, but didn't chase after her any more. "If you don't leave now, it will be too late." Meralda explained frankly. Jaka's face wrinkled like a screw, he didn't understand. "I have a child," the girl said softly without thinking, "your child." The words had as much effect as a clean blow to Jaka's face. "What's the matter?" He stammered for a while and asked in a trembling and melancholy voice, "We only did it once." "So, I guess we were shot that time." The girl's tone became dry. "But—" Jaka began to shake his head and said, "What about Lord Feringal? What should we do?" He suddenly stopped talking again, and then cast a sharp look at Meralda, "Could it be you With him—?" "Only you," Meralda replied firmly. "It's only once in my life." "Then what shall we do?" Jaka repeated nervously.Meralda had never seen him so agitated. "I always thought I should marry Lord Feringal," Meralda explained, coming over and taking the boy's hand to try to calm him down, "because it was for my family, not myself, but Things have changed now," she said, looking Jaka in the eye, "after all I cannot take another man's child into Castle Oak." "And then?" Jaka asked, still looking as if he hadn't recovered from the brink of despair. "You said you wanted mine," Meralda said softly and hopefully, "so you are responsible for what you bring in my belly, and my heart." "Lord Feringal will kill me." "We didn't stay here anymore then," Meralda replied, "you said we could travel along the Sword Coast, all the way to Luskan, to Waterdeep, so we could, so we It has to be done." The idea didn't seem to win Jaka much approval.He just said something: "But..." He shrank back, shaking his head constantly.In the end it was Meralda who shook him hard enough to wake the boy up enough to face himself. "It's all true, and it's the only thing we can do," she said. "You are my love as much as I am yours, and now fate has bound us both." "This is insane," Jaka replied, stepping back from her. "We can't run away. We don't have a penny. We have nothing. We won't even make it to Luskan on the road." "Nothing?" Meralda asked back in disbelief, and she began to realize that there was something more to this answer than shock, "We have each other. We have our love, and we are about to born child." "You think that's enough?" Jaka asked in the same skeptical tone. "What kind of life would we find under these circumstances? A lifetime of begging? A lifetime of eating mud and having our children born in it?" "Then what choice do we have?" "We?" Jaka closed his mouth as soon as he yelled the word, worried that it might be too late to think about how loud he had just been. Meralda suppressed a trace of fear in her heart: "You mean what you said when I was lying under you were all lies? You mean you don't love me?" "I didn't say that," Jaka said, putting a hand on the girl's shoulder to quiet her, "but what chance do we have of surviving? Do you think love alone is enough? No way? We have no food, no money, and three mouths to feed. And what do you do when you get fat and ugly? Then we don’t even have the pleasure of making love.” The girl turned pale and broke free from his arms.He stretched out his hand again, but she immediately shot him away, "You said you loved me," she said. "I said it," Jaka replied, "and I love you now, too." She shook her head slowly, her tightly squinted eyes became extremely clear in an instant. "You just had a strong desire for me, but you never loved me." Her voice trembled a lot, but the girl decided to continue her strong action, "You idiot. You can't even tell Bad, good and evil." With these words, she turned and ran out of the house.Jaka didn't move behind him, and didn't chase him out. Meralda spent the night weeping on the rainy mountainside, and did not return home until early morning.But no matter how she vents, the truth is still there.Falling in love with Jaka Scully, she found out how stupid it was for herself.Because in the girl's future days, once she looks back at the moment when she became a woman and said goodbye to the innocent and lovely girl, she will find that it was not the night when she lost her virginity.No, it was tonight, the real moment when she realized for the first time that she had given her most precious thing to a selfish, cold, shallow man.No, not a man—a premature boy.How stupid she had been.